Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - P0RN ECONOMICS (ft. P0rn Star Silvia Saige)
Aired: 2019-07-09
Duration: 02:31:44


=== Massive Announcement (03:50) ===

[00:00:04]  What's up, everybody?
[00:00:05]  Welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2, No Easy Buckets Analysis by Assholes, Water Cooler Commentary for Your Sports Needs.
[00:00:11]  My name is Andrew Schultz.
[00:00:13]  Okay, I'm here with Akash Singh, real life games.
[00:00:16]  We got Alex Media and Ed in on the ones and twos.
[00:00:19]  Very special announcement.
[00:00:20]  Special announcement.
[00:00:21]  Special announcement.
[00:00:22]  Okay.
[00:00:23]  Now, the second half of this episode, okay, I'm not sure the exact minute it's going to start because we're recording the first half right now.
[00:00:29]  That being said, you're a good listener.
[00:00:31]  You'll be listening to it.
[00:00:32]  After this episode, Kaz, please be quiet.
[00:00:34]  The second half of this episode.
[00:00:36]  Got to get through this fucking thing without Kaz.
[00:00:39]  I know Kaz excited.
[00:00:41]  Let me fucking get through the intro.
[00:00:43]  Shut the fuck up.
[00:00:45]  Holy shit.
[00:00:45]  You're ruining it.
[00:00:47]  You're ruining the good episode by talking.
[00:00:49]  I'll let you know when you can talk.
[00:00:51]  Okay?
[00:00:52]  All right, white man.
[00:00:52]  Second, exactly.
[00:00:54]  Let me use my white privilege to make this shit work.
[00:00:57]  Okay?
[00:00:58]  Go for it.
[00:00:58]  All right.
[00:00:59]  Listen, I need you to just be quiet, okay?
[00:01:03]  Just walk out on this family so we can get this podcast started.
[00:01:10]  Okay?
[00:01:11]  Let me be the single black mother raising this podcast with all of her power.
[00:01:18]  Who my black queen's ass.
[00:01:20]  Okay.
[00:01:20]  We have a okay.
[00:01:22]  We have an amazing guest who's on the second half of this podcast.
[00:01:24]  Porn star Sylvia Sage is here.
[00:01:26]  Second half of this podcast.
[00:01:28]  Breaking down the porn game in a wild, wild way.
[00:01:33]  She said something that, though, is absolutely interesting.
[00:01:35]  She goes, 80% of income from porn stars.
[00:01:38]  No, Akash, do I know what I'm doing?
[00:01:41]  I mean, I get the fuck up you too.
[00:01:44]  Jesus Christ.
[00:01:48]  Like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
[00:01:50]  She's so savage, Sandy.
[00:01:52]  She's so savage.
[00:01:53]  Motherfuckers, y'all might not know who Sylvia Sage is.
[00:01:55]  America won this past day.
[00:01:56]  No, cut them mics, please.
[00:01:58]  Can you cut them?
[00:01:59]  I can't, like, you're ruining our own show.
[00:02:01]  Jesus, okay?
[00:02:02]  Real talk.
[00:02:02]  Yeah, the white man knows how to get shit done.
[00:02:04]  Okay?
[00:02:06]  We really do.
[00:02:06]  So let me get the shit done.
[00:02:07]  Okay.
[00:02:08]  Jesus Christ.
[00:02:09]  So Sylvia Sage is here.
[00:02:11]  She said 80% of porn stars income comes from outside of porn.
[00:02:17]  Porn is the advertisement.
[00:02:19]  Okay.
[00:02:20]  And if you want to know what they really make their money doing, then you just listen to the second half.
[00:02:24]  It might blow your fucking mind.
[00:02:26]  Okay.
[00:02:27]  That being said, also another cool announcement.
[00:02:29]  We're splitting up the YouTube channel that you guys, some of you are watching on this right now.
[00:02:32]  So we're going to have a Flagrant 2's own, very own YouTube.
[00:02:36]  Brilliant is going to have its own YouTube.
[00:02:39]  And we're going to keep most of the stand-up, well, all the stand-up stuff, inside jokes, and dropping in on the YouTube that you're currently watching right now.
[00:02:46]  We're going to have links for all the YouTube so you guys can go over there, subscribe, spread the word, tweet it out, let everybody know.
[00:02:54]  And besides that, those were our big, big announcements.
[00:02:57]  Well, there's one massive announcement, but I can't say it just yet.
[00:02:59]  I just need to make sure the ink is dry, and then we're going to tell you about that one.
[00:03:02]  But I'm very, very excited about that one.
[00:03:05]  That being said, I think it's time to start the show, guys.
[00:03:09]  Now, Akash and Kaz.
[00:03:10]  No shows as we can.
[00:03:11]  We can't promote shit.
[00:03:12]  We'll do a little later.
[00:03:13]  Let's get right into it.
[00:03:14]  Let's get into it.
[00:03:15]  Let's start cooking.
[00:03:15]  Now we're allowed to talk.
[00:03:16]  Now you guys are allowed to talk.
[00:03:19]  Now, so here's the thing.
[00:03:21]  We started the Flagrant 2 Patreon episode last week with your Flagrant Thought of the Week.
[00:03:26]  Flagrant Thought of the Way.
[00:03:27]  I like starting now with a little bit of flagrancy.
[00:03:29]  Get the ball rolling in the right direction.
[00:03:31]  Set the mood, et cetera.
[00:03:32]  Okay.
[00:03:33]  So Flagrant Thought of the Week.
[00:03:34]  This was my Flagrant Thought of the Week.
[00:03:36]  It was about 95 degrees.
[00:03:37]  I think it was last Wednesday.
[00:03:40]  Okay.
[00:03:41]  I'm fucking, I'm dying out there.
[00:03:43]  It is crazy.
[00:03:44]  I'm walking down the street and all of a sudden I see this girl walking and she's got like just burn marks all over her body.
[00:03:52]  It looked like maybe like 70% of her was burned.

=== Burning Up Outside (02:29) ===

[00:03:54]  And I could think about, I was just looking at her and I was like, do you think she at all during this day has thought, man, it's hot as fuck outside?
[00:04:05]  Oh, God.
[00:04:09]  Or does this feel like air conditioning?
[00:04:11]  I'm not going to say, like, compared to what she's been through, she's probably just like, this light work, right?
[00:04:17]  Just light work for her.
[00:04:19]  I can use a little glisten.
[00:04:25]  Like, do you think that changes?
[00:04:27]  She's like spotting on people who are like, it's hot outside.
[00:04:29]  And she'd be like, is it?
[00:04:31]  Oh, is it?
[00:04:32]  You know, my hot.
[00:04:34]  I'm going to show y'all hot.
[00:04:35]  Oh, is it burning up out there to you?
[00:04:38]  Taking everybody's like super fucking angry thoughts and be like, oh, it's burning up here.
[00:04:44]  You want to talk about burning up, bitch?
[00:04:46]  I'll show you burning up.
[00:04:47]  So that was a flagrant thought of the week.
[00:04:48]  I'm walking down the street and I was just looking at that girl, man.
[00:04:51]  I felt one, I felt bad complaining about myself, but like I was waiting to just see like a look of like exasperation or something on her.
[00:04:58]  And there was nothing.
[00:04:59]  Absolutely nothing.
[00:05:00]  Is that flagrant?
[00:05:01]  Is that fucked up?
[00:05:02]  Yeah.
[00:05:02]  It's a little bit flagrant.
[00:05:03]  That's my life.
[00:05:04]  Akash, what you got?
[00:05:05]  Yo, I think we need R. Kelly back, man.
[00:05:08]  What was your thinking?
[00:05:09]  I was just in the car this morning driving back from DC with my girl.
[00:05:14]  Right.
[00:05:14]  And she asleep and I got Pandora on.
[00:05:17]  And R. Kelly came on.
[00:05:18]  And I was just like, yo, it was the fucking Ignition remix.
[00:05:21]  And I was like, this is one of the best songs of that decade.
[00:05:25]  This is a song.
[00:05:26]  At the very least.
[00:05:26]  Of the 2000s.
[00:05:27]  We need this guy back.
[00:05:28]  Pandora doesn't give a fuck, huh?
[00:05:31]  Pandora doesn't give a fuck.
[00:05:32]  Pandora doesn't give a fuck.
[00:05:33]  She knew myself.
[00:05:34]  That's the fake Spotify band that R. Kelly, they tried with R. Kelly.
[00:05:37]  Oh, yeah.
[00:05:37]  Like, it only just shot up his sales, like 40% or something.
[00:05:41]  Let's cancel, cancel R. Kelly.
[00:05:44]  Yeah.
[00:05:44]  Yeah, I mean.
[00:05:45]  He don't own his masters.
[00:05:46]  Is he even in jail?
[00:05:48]  Cass pointing is out.
[00:05:48]  He don't own his masters.
[00:05:49]  Anytime you listen to him, you're not putting any money in his mouth.
[00:05:51]  Somebody else is getting paid for it.
[00:05:53]  Ooh.
[00:05:53]  He only makes his money off a tour and he can't tour no more because everyone thinks, well, you don't see R. Kelly live.
[00:05:58]  Nah, it's crazy.
[00:06:00]  You can take your girl.
[00:06:01]  You might not get her back.
[00:06:02]  Nah, she's old enough.
[00:06:05]  There's one concert.
[00:06:06]  She makes you feel very comfortable taking your girl to it is an R. Kelly concert.
[00:06:10]  There is no way in hell he is taking your old-ass legal girlfriend.
[00:06:15]  Okay, your daughter?
[00:06:16]  Be careful.
[00:06:17]  Okay?
[00:06:19]  Don't have your daughter on your shoulders during R. Kelly concerts.
[00:06:21]  That's just putting a spotlight on him.

=== Female Athletes Pay Gap (07:25) ===

[00:06:24]  Oh my God.
[00:06:24]  Kelly's up there singing bump and grind, making eye contact.
[00:06:28]  I don't see nothing, bro.
[00:06:29]  Aging nothing but a number and shit.
[00:06:31]  She's got a pacifier in her mouth.
[00:06:32]  Like, what's he talking about?
[00:06:34]  You got to be old enough to have your shots.
[00:06:36]  Seems like you're ready.
[00:06:38]  Like, fuck out of here, R. Kelly.
[00:06:40]  God damn it.
[00:06:41]  Okay, Cass, what you got for us?
[00:06:43]  All right, so I was watching the USA women's finals, like, you know, a bunch of other people that were watching it this weekend.
[00:06:51]  Son.
[00:06:52]  You know, and I'm having, you know, and I'm, and I'm watching, and it speaks to me differently now because I'm going to have a little girl and all this other stuff.
[00:06:58]  So I'm watching it.
[00:06:59]  And I'm like, damn, they won the gold medal and each player gets a bonus of $250,000, right?
[00:07:05]  And these bitches still complain.
[00:07:06]  And the men get a million dollars, right?
[00:07:08]  Yeah.
[00:07:08]  So I'm watching.
[00:07:09]  I flip over the channel.
[00:07:10]  I flip it over to like, I think like Cheddar esports, whatever.
[00:07:13]  Yeah.
[00:07:13]  There's a little girl playing until a sold-out arena playing fucking video games.
[00:07:18]  All right.
[00:07:19]  So I'm sitting here thinking, like, I would much rather have my little girl be the bitch in esports in like Fortnite, like whatever the fucking game that comes out in the next one.
[00:07:32]  Like this, the way this sport has grown, why would you have your kids play soccer knowing the best soccer players in the world?
[00:07:39]  Don't get shit.
[00:07:40]  Yeah, and you know, she gets impressed by them lesbians.
[00:07:43]  Oh, son.
[00:07:44]  Your daughter gonna get pressed by her rationale.
[00:07:46]  This guy's gonna rape hands.
[00:07:50]  She can say your name.
[00:07:52]  No, in her name.
[00:07:55]  That'll tell you everything you need to know about what happens during halftime.
[00:07:59]  That's what Jews begin.
[00:08:00]  It's getting eaten.
[00:08:01]  Shout out to them.
[00:08:02]  I mean, shout out to them.
[00:08:03]  Look at her.
[00:08:04]  Rapping out.
[00:08:06]  Rape and no.
[00:08:08]  Rapping though.
[00:08:09]  I mean, shout out to them.
[00:08:10]  They balled out, but like, the fact that, was it their fourth gold medal?
[00:08:14]  Son, they're playing against women from other countries that have full-time jobs.
[00:08:19]  Yeah.
[00:08:20]  This is not fair competition.
[00:08:21]  There's domination.
[00:08:22]  There's domination.
[00:08:23]  Of course, but what I'm saying is, like, America's the only country, maybe another country or two, where like the women get to focus their full life on soccer.
[00:08:32]  Yeah.
[00:08:32]  Right?
[00:08:33]  That is their full and only goal is playing soccer, getting better at soccer.
[00:08:38]  They give all their attention to soccer, right?
[00:08:40]  Like, these other girls play soccer and then still have to go home and they have to cook their husband dinner because he has a real job that's paying for their lives.
[00:08:48]  Look at the teams that they're playing.
[00:08:49]  It's like France, Dutch.
[00:08:51]  You think Thailand's got like a real fucking money into the name of the country?
[00:08:59]  Like the real Netherlands, whatever.
[00:09:00]  But like the real bad bitches of the country are like doing actual shit, right?
[00:09:05]  They have to.
[00:09:06]  They have families to raise.
[00:09:08]  Lesbians aren't even legal there, so all the women have kids.
[00:09:11]  And soccer's been around forever.
[00:09:14]  And people still like half of the women's national team can walk down the high right now.
[00:09:19]  I wouldn't know who it is.
[00:09:20]  The men get a million if they win.
[00:09:21]  Yeah.
[00:09:22]  They got a million dollar bonus.
[00:09:23]  They never win.
[00:09:24]  Exactly.
[00:09:24]  That's the hustle.
[00:09:25]  That's why men get paid more because they know they're not going to.
[00:09:28]  Hey, man, if you win, you'll get $100 billion each.
[00:09:32]  It's a bullshit thing.
[00:09:34]  The women always make more because they're the only ones who are going to win.
[00:09:37]  They don't make more, though.
[00:09:38]  No.
[00:09:38]  They don't make any.
[00:09:39]  In the end?
[00:09:40]  They have the potential to make more.
[00:09:42]  Yeah, because they're going to win.
[00:09:42]  And the men are never going to win.
[00:09:43]  100%.
[00:09:44]  You're 100% right about that.
[00:09:45]  And just to put an end to this whole pay controversy with women's soccer, which is absolute nonsense.
[00:09:52]  We just have to win.
[00:09:53]  They don't earn less.
[00:09:54]  No, no, stop, Right?
[00:09:57]  So just so people understand here, the women are overpaid.
[00:10:02]  This is 100% fact.
[00:10:04]  What you get paid on is a percentage of revenue, right?
[00:10:07]  The men get paid based on 9% of the revenue.
[00:10:11]  Okay.
[00:10:12]  The women get paid based on 13% of their revenue.
[00:10:15]  So if they really wanted equal pay, you would reduce the women's pay.
[00:10:21]  Just female soccer doesn't bring in as much money as male soccer.
[00:10:25]  That's why you don't get paid as much.
[00:10:27]  What I don't understand, people, what I understand, especially the women, is like, this is America, right?
[00:10:34]  If we can make money on something, we will.
[00:10:36]  People make money on prisons here.
[00:10:38]  You think that they're actively trying to not make money on soccer?
[00:10:41]  If there was money in female soccer, please believe you would be making it.
[00:10:46]  But the reality is there isn't.
[00:10:47]  Yeah.
[00:10:48]  Simple as that.
[00:10:48]  Let me ask you a question, though.
[00:10:50]  Is this based on the revenue they make from their soccer league or from the national ship?
[00:10:54]  No, no, from the market.
[00:10:55]  I think from FIFA, right?
[00:10:56]  Yeah, FIFA.
[00:10:57]  Okay, they get 13% of World Cup revenue.
[00:10:58]  Okay.
[00:10:59]  Because the reality is, it might be popular here, but nobody gives a fuck about female soccer anywhere outside of America.
[00:11:04]  We only care every four years.
[00:11:06]  Exactly, right?
[00:11:07]  The only reason we care is because our men suck.
[00:11:09]  Well, no, no.
[00:11:10]  The only reason we care is because the USA is on the jersey.
[00:11:12]  Because once you start playing on the jersey, nobody watches.
[00:11:15]  Oh, I was even saying if the men's national team would dominate it, the women would be like, okay, that's cool.
[00:11:20]  Like, we kind of like women's basketball in the Olympics, but like we support women's curling.
[00:11:26]  Anything that men, anything that America is good at, if it's we just love America.
[00:11:30]  We're afraid of people.
[00:11:31]  It's that simple.
[00:11:32]  If you put USA on the jersey and we're fighting, fighting, but we're going up against another country, we're going to root for it.
[00:11:37]  I'll say the rooting is exaggerated greatly because our men suck and our women are the only ones who win.
[00:11:41]  I think it doesn't mean anything.
[00:11:42]  You don't?
[00:11:43]  I'm dead ass.
[00:11:43]  I swear to God, I think it's a every four years we get the opportunity to be better than another country and America loves that.
[00:11:49]  Right.
[00:11:50]  Right.
[00:11:50]  So it's like, here's our opportunity to do it.
[00:11:53]  Because we'll watch any sport.
[00:11:55]  Right.
[00:11:56]  As long as the U.S. is good at it.
[00:11:58]  We know rap and oh.
[00:11:59]  I don't know a single fucking curler, and no one in this room knows curler.
[00:12:03]  No.
[00:12:04]  If we were good at it, you would know.
[00:12:05]  Like, I knew gymnasts.
[00:12:07]  I know females.
[00:12:08]  We know swimmers.
[00:12:10]  We know swimmers, right?
[00:12:11]  Like, it's insane that we know these females.
[00:12:13]  What was the other guy that wasn't Michael Phelps?
[00:12:15]  The one that.
[00:12:15]  Oh, the gummy.
[00:12:16]  Yeah, he's like borderline.
[00:12:18]  Oh, yeah, but Lochney, Ryan Lockney.
[00:12:19]  We know that motherfucker.
[00:12:20]  Gabby Douglas.
[00:12:21]  Nobody gives a shit.
[00:12:22]  Was the Simone Biles.
[00:12:23]  Simone Biles.
[00:12:25]  I know ones from back in the day, Dominique Mochianu.
[00:12:27]  Yeah, I know Dominique Dawes.
[00:12:28]  Dominique Dawes.
[00:12:33]  You seen her recently?
[00:12:34]  Where's R. Kelly at?
[00:12:34]  Dominique Dawes are better.
[00:12:36]  R. Kelly was the biggest gym fan, bro.
[00:12:39]  Son, if you are like a pedophile trying to be on a straight and arrow, you just got to become a fan of female sports where they mature younger, right?
[00:12:46]  Like female tennis.
[00:12:47]  They're all like 16.
[00:12:48]  Coco.
[00:12:49]  He's in love with Coco.
[00:12:51]  What's the Coco?
[00:12:52]  Coco.
[00:12:52]  She's this 15-year-old black American tennis player.
[00:12:55]  Yeah, she's killing that Wimbledon right now.
[00:12:56]  She beat Venus Williams in the first round.
[00:12:58]  No, no, no, blasian guy.
[00:13:01]  You're thinking of the Haitian one.
[00:13:04]  Haitian.
[00:13:04]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:13:05]  She got it.
[00:13:05]  This is the other girl who's a big fan of the game.
[00:13:06]  No, it's a black Japanese.
[00:13:08]  This girl is like, yeah, 15 years old.
[00:13:09]  She beat Venus.
[00:13:10]  She's like a big temptation this tournament.
[00:13:13]  So we'll see how long it lasts.
[00:13:14]  Yeah, we'll root for anybody, bro.
[00:13:16]  We root for America.
[00:13:17]  If you make it, if you do well, we will get behind you.
[00:13:19]  Fencing.
[00:13:19]  Remember when we pretended to give a fuck about short track speed skating?
[00:13:23]  Because Apollo fucking Ono.
[00:13:26]  Yeah, Apollo Ono was whooping ass with her.
[00:13:30]  We just like beating these Koreans again.
[00:13:32]  You're the only person I knew who actually liked short track speed skating.
[00:13:35]  Short track speed skating.
[00:13:37]  That shit kind of looks like a bad thing.
[00:13:39]  You describe about it.
[00:13:40]  You don't like gays?
[00:13:41]  If you like NASCAR at all, which y'all don't, but if you like NASCAR at all, and you're gay, go track speed skating.

=== Gay NASCAR Fans Hate Gays (08:11) ===

[00:13:49]  Yes, yes, yes, yes.
[00:13:51]  It's just NASCAR with more crashes.
[00:13:53]  Yeah.
[00:13:53]  That's all it is.
[00:13:54]  Yeah, because that's all you watch in NASCAR.
[00:13:55]  It's a fan deck.
[00:13:56]  So, yeah, absolutely.
[00:13:57]  Yeah, so if you're gay, it's sick.
[00:14:02]  Dude, it's so fucking cool, man.
[00:14:04]  It's so Asian.
[00:14:04]  They're all dressed as ninjas, and instead of like swords in their hands, they got them on their feet and shit.
[00:14:08]  It's so sick.
[00:14:09]  Like fucking Power Rangers.
[00:14:10]  This is the clear shit.
[00:14:12]  Thousands of fucking.
[00:14:13]  That's what we do.
[00:14:14]  We front.
[00:14:15]  Every fucking Olympics or every one of these events, we front.
[00:14:18]  You know what it is, though?
[00:14:19]  Because I think people look at soccer as such a big binary thing where it's like, oh, it's the world's game.
[00:14:23]  It is popular.
[00:14:25]  Yeah, but like here, it's like nobody's watching women's soccer every night when it's on.
[00:14:30]  Nobody looks at it.
[00:14:31]  Like in whatever league that's on or whatever.
[00:14:34]  I want them to win.
[00:14:35]  This is the reality is on it.
[00:14:38]  We would.
[00:14:39]  It's very simple.
[00:14:40]  Stop acting like there's a conspiracy.
[00:14:41]  There's two things to believe.
[00:14:42]  You either believe one, there's a government conspiracy stealing money from women's soccer so the girls don't get paid or two men make more money so they get paid more which is more believable if you answer that question yourself i mean that's fine you know me bro like i've always been like a proponent i always stood up for w nba i thought it was dope whatever but like facts are facts bro like i've seen these arenas like they don't the liberty don't play in the garden no More.
[00:15:02]  Like, they got to play in the Western world.
[00:15:03]  They didn't even have a contract until this.
[00:15:05]  PSPN bought up the remainder of their season for the women's MLS or whatever.
[00:15:10]  But before that, there was no TV rights.
[00:15:12]  They're up there.
[00:15:13]  And to be fair, it gets better.
[00:15:14]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:15:15]  Like, they got to.
[00:15:17]  You got to have a league.
[00:15:18]  Family.
[00:15:19]  Women's basketball.
[00:15:19]  Women's basketball had the same problem.
[00:15:22]  They're getting better.
[00:15:23]  Clearly, it's not the same money that the NBA is getting.
[00:15:25]  Obviously, it'll probably never be like that.
[00:15:26]  The big three.
[00:15:28]  You got to take steps.
[00:15:29]  The big three just eclipse the WNBA in viewership.
[00:15:32]  Yeah, the big three is lit this year, though.
[00:15:33]  Listen, I'm not saying it's not.
[00:15:35]  I'm not saying it's not.
[00:15:36]  It's completely basketball.
[00:15:37]  Eclipse the WNBA in viewership.
[00:15:39]  So, again, ladies, put your money where your mouth is.
[00:15:42]  You know what I mean?
[00:15:43]  You want women's sports to get paid a lot?
[00:15:45]  Go watch it.
[00:15:46]  Go watch it.
[00:15:46]  That's what.
[00:15:47]  Yo.
[00:15:47]  Y'all watch.
[00:15:48]  Cause and effect.
[00:15:49]  That's what I said.
[00:15:50]  I was like, yo, if y'all want to support it, y'all got it.
[00:15:51]  It's a cause and effect now.
[00:15:52]  Oh, it's not cause and effect.
[00:15:53]  Well, we're on Flickr too, so it depends.
[00:15:56]  Here's the reality, right?
[00:15:57]  It's like, there is maybe the highest-grossing show on television right now is a show called The Bachelorette or The Bachelor.
[00:16:05]  A girl watches it.
[00:16:07]  Everybody's girl watches it.
[00:16:09]  Everybody loves The Bachelorette.
[00:16:10]  Girls love it.
[00:16:11]  It is a competition show that is on once a week and people go fucking crazy for it.
[00:16:17]  They lose it.
[00:16:18]  And there is, if you realize, I don't know if you've noticed from watching, but it's basically a giant integrated marketing scheme.
[00:16:25]  Every little thing on the show is sold.
[00:16:30]  Starbucks coffee.
[00:16:31]  I need this before I go out of my date.
[00:16:33]  And it is genius, right?
[00:16:35]  Is it genius?
[00:16:36]  Genius.
[00:16:36]  They brand the fuck out of that show.
[00:16:38]  And it makes tons of money.
[00:16:40]  Of course.
[00:16:40]  It's as simple as this.
[00:16:41]  Ladies, if you watched soccer as much as you watch The Bachelorette, they will get paid just as much as these NBA players or these professional soccer players.
[00:16:50]  But you watch soccer as much as you watch, I don't know.
[00:16:56]  Let me tell you something.
[00:16:56]  If my girl.
[00:16:57]  It's a show that people don't watch a lot.
[00:16:59]  That people don't watch?
[00:17:02]  Are you guys good over there?
[00:17:03]  What's going on?
[00:17:04]  Son, my flagrant take of the week is bring back pesticides and all the shit.
[00:17:08]  Somebody biting you over there.
[00:17:11]  Why'd you dress like Mo Harkless?
[00:17:12]  What the fuck you got that headband on for?
[00:17:15]  I rode my bike today.
[00:17:16]  I was about to say, you guys got a 505 after this?
[00:17:19]  Yeah, that just keeps bucking the shit out of me, and I can't stop thinking about it.
[00:17:22]  Oh, God, yeah.
[00:17:22]  You guys are, they were going like crazy.
[00:17:23]  Looking like fucking crackheads.
[00:17:25]  Yeah, you got good skin.
[00:17:25]  That's why you're sitting there.
[00:17:26]  Why would you purell it?
[00:17:27]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:17:27]  It's got a sweet melon exhibition.
[00:17:30]  I'm getting my mind off it right now.
[00:17:31]  Say again?
[00:17:32]  Like anything that would work.
[00:17:32]  Look, it's right.
[00:17:33]  So why don't you kill that shit, son?
[00:17:35]  Kill that shit.
[00:17:36]  Son, we're not going to have another break and bite on this.
[00:17:39]  No, no, no, we're good.
[00:17:40]  Okay.
[00:17:41]  All right.
[00:17:42]  So anyway.
[00:17:42]  But yeah, I'd rather have my daughter play esports.
[00:17:44]  But you know what bothers me, bro?
[00:17:46]  That's right.
[00:17:46]  You know what bothers me about this shit?
[00:17:48]  A lot of money in that shit.
[00:17:49]  The fucking girls on this soccer team, right?
[00:17:52]  Oh, boy.
[00:17:53]  They're not stupid, right?
[00:17:57]  They must have sat down with a lawyer.
[00:17:59]  They must have sat down with FIFA.
[00:18:01]  They must have sat down with these different organizations and bodies and said, so what's the deal?
[00:18:06]  Why do we make less?
[00:18:07]  And they just tell them the truth.
[00:18:08]  They just go, I gotcha.
[00:18:10]  Yeah, I've seen that.
[00:18:10]  They just tell them the truth.
[00:18:11]  They go, hey, we only pay you less because you guys make less money.
[00:18:16]  Right?
[00:18:18]  And then they take that information and they know the truth and they keep pushing this fucking lie.
[00:18:25]  They're not ignorant.
[00:18:26]  Like, I don't mind someone who's ignorant, right?
[00:18:28]  Because you don't know better.
[00:18:30]  Like, I don't mind, like, a lot of these, a lot of these women who think about the pay gap, they truly believe there's a wage gap based on their gender.
[00:18:37]  And someone looks at their tits and goes, I'm going to pay you less.
[00:18:39]  And they truly believe that, right?
[00:18:41]  I accept that.
[00:18:41]  You're fighting for something you truly believe to be real.
[00:18:44]  But when somebody comes to you and goes, yo, ladies, this is the math.
[00:18:47]  We're actually paying you more percentage-wise than the men get.
[00:18:51]  You know, like you guys just don't bring in the revenue.
[00:18:53]  I'm sorry.
[00:18:54]  When have women ever listened to facts?
[00:18:55]  I just don't know.
[00:18:56]  So it's like where we are in the world.
[00:18:58]  Totally, totally.
[00:18:59]  So it's like, all we got to do is, like, the fact that you know the truth and you're still pushing the lie, I got to question your character now.
[00:19:08]  All right, to be fair.
[00:19:09]  I got to question your character.
[00:19:11]  You're a liar.
[00:19:12]  To be fair, Nike has paid them more.
[00:19:14]  Like, you don't even need to know economics to know.
[00:19:16]  Like, if you see a bunch of fucking billboards of some team in Times Square and by the garden, all this other shit, like, you know, Nike's shelling out a shit ton of money.
[00:19:27]  Bro, I did not notice these hoes.
[00:19:30]  Nike is trying to help make up for that gap.
[00:19:33]  Right.
[00:19:33]  But there's only so much FIFA could actually do.
[00:19:36]  You don't think it's possible that they're continuing to perpetuate this just so it's more of a symbolic thing for page gap management.
[00:19:46]  Oh, yeah, it's a symbolic thing right in their pockets.
[00:19:49]  Isn't it convenient when symbolism goes straight into your bank account?
[00:19:51]  No, I mean, like, I'll think you're you.
[00:19:53]  I'm going to fight for symbolic women's rights.
[00:19:55]  Pay me more.
[00:19:56]  Because the idea of women's rights matters to me.
[00:19:58]  So if I could get paid more on behalf of all women, I think you missed my point.
[00:20:03]  My point was: you said it.
[00:20:06]  They're not stupid.
[00:20:07]  They know how much the wage gap is when you're with you.
[00:20:11]  And what Akash is saying is that he goes, they're virtue signaling, but they're not doing it.
[00:20:18]  They're not doing it for virtue.
[00:20:19]  They're doing it for financial gain.
[00:20:21]  I think that's what you were trying to say, right?
[00:20:22]  So it's like, how convenient is it that all of a sudden gender equality is necessary when it's time for you to get paid?
[00:20:30]  Yeah.
[00:20:31]  You know?
[00:20:31]  Like, it's like these people who got beats from property that they're like, global warming is fucking up everything.
[00:20:36]  It's like, no, you just want to keep your porch.
[00:20:38]  You know what I mean?
[00:20:39]  Your house is about to be part of the Atlantic.
[00:20:41]  What I'm saying is, though, when it comes to a brand like Nike, when you could.
[00:20:44]  Nike don't give a fuck.
[00:20:45]  No, just listen to me.
[00:20:47]  How you support the NFL and Kaepernick?
[00:20:49]  You don't give a fuck.
[00:20:50]  All right.
[00:20:50]  So you believe they do?
[00:20:51]  I'm not saying they give a fuck.
[00:20:53]  I'm just saying like if ratings are up because of a woman's soccer game and you're running all these ads and all this shit, you have to pay them more.
[00:21:00]  You just have to because you're running a shit ton of ads.
[00:21:03]  You're taking out commercial space.
[00:21:04]  You can only use their likenesses without, you can't use their likeness without paying them a certain amount of money.
[00:21:09]  Right.
[00:21:09]  So whatever they were getting last year, they're absolutely getting more this year in some way, shape, or form.
[00:21:15]  I'm just saying when it comes to FIFA, you can't do that because you said it.
[00:21:20]  They only bring in this much volume.
[00:21:22]  You get a percentage.
[00:21:23]  I'm talking about what you keep.
[00:21:24]  What they make, to be honest with you, I'm only talking about what they're getting paid.
[00:21:27]  I'm not talking about sponsorship because that's something to say.
[00:21:30]  That's something different.
[00:21:31]  We're just talking about these bullshit statistics that they keep bringing up.
[00:21:34]  It's adorable.
[00:21:36]  They do this thing.
[00:21:36]  It's so cute.
[00:21:37]  They do this thing.
[00:21:38]  We're like, between 2016 and now, the women's world.
[00:21:41]  It's so cute.
[00:21:42]  It is.
[00:21:43]  Between 2016 and now, the women's, what is it?
[00:21:46]  U.S. women's team has made more money than the men, right?
[00:21:49]  It's like, oh, that's convenient.
[00:21:51]  That's convenient that you pick it up the year after the men's World Cup.

=== Daddy Issues and Money (15:05) ===

[00:22:00]  Isn't that funny?
[00:22:01]  How you just skip out the men's World Cup in that calculation you got right there.
[00:22:06]  I mean, man, that's so funny.
[00:22:08]  Do you want to get paid more?
[00:22:12]  That's so cute.
[00:22:14]  Anyway, we don't have to spend too much time on this.
[00:22:19]  Oh, man.
[00:22:20]  So, oh, yeah, Doc Rivers is coaching the guy who cheated on his daughter.
[00:22:25]  Yeah, but if he cared about his daughter, she would have never fucked NBA players.
[00:22:30]  That's a good point.
[00:22:31]  Like, let's be honest here.
[00:22:33]  Like, if your daughter's out here, like, fucking, your daughter is out here fucking guys that you coach against.
[00:22:39]  Like, she's clearly out here with a grievance against you.
[00:22:42]  Like, that's the equivalent of, like, your son being a goth, right?
[00:22:45]  He's just trying to piss you off.
[00:22:47]  You're like, you have a daddy issue that you're trying to piss off.
[00:22:49]  So you're fucking.
[00:22:51]  Go to hell, dad.
[00:22:52]  And if the swallow all the dicks real talk.
[00:22:55]  Real talk.
[00:22:56]  And if anything, this is Doc getting his daughter back.
[00:22:58]  Just like, oh, you thought he was out of your life.
[00:23:01]  You thought.
[00:23:03]  Now he's coming right back.
[00:23:04]  And guess what?
[00:23:05]  You wanted my attention?
[00:23:06]  Guess who's going to get my attention now?
[00:23:10]  Remember that guy you were fucking so you could get my attention?
[00:23:12]  Well, now he's going to get some attention.
[00:23:13]  We got something in common.
[00:23:14]  So we always thought, though, real quick, I always thought Doc was like soft and he's coaching his fucking kid, Austin Rivers.
[00:23:19]  Remember, he had that like banner up.
[00:23:21]  I was like, this doc is too much.
[00:23:22]  Then he traded that motherfucker.
[00:23:24]  Then he traded for Paul Jordan.
[00:23:27]  He wasn't the president at that time.
[00:23:28]  He wasn't president?
[00:23:29]  Okay, because I thought this guy's a little sociopath.
[00:23:31]  No, I mean, he's sociopath.
[00:23:34]  Like, he's.
[00:23:34]  Is he still president now, though, right?
[00:23:37]  So he had nothing to do with Paul Jordan.
[00:23:38]  Jerry chaired the logo, man.
[00:23:39]  The logo.
[00:23:40]  This motherfucker, we got to talk about him.
[00:23:42]  We're going to talk about the logo in a second, but let's keep talking about this.
[00:23:45]  This is fun.
[00:23:46]  Okay, so now.
[00:23:47]  Okay, so how about this?
[00:23:48]  How about you're at a job where they traded away your son and then gave you the guy that fucked that cheated on your daughter and then cheated on her?
[00:23:56]  Right.
[00:23:56]  What a job that is.
[00:23:57]  Wait, wait, wait, wait.
[00:23:58]  I'm confused.
[00:23:59]  The president, so he had no say in this in either one of these moves, right?
[00:24:02]  He's the coach at the time.
[00:24:03]  Yeah, but he couldn't make the personnel moves or he didn't make.
[00:24:05]  So yeah, the personnel moves were made where one, they trade your son away from you.
[00:24:09]  Right.
[00:24:10]  Two, they trade the guy who not only fucked your daughter for a long time, also cheated on her with a stripper.
[00:24:15]  Right.
[00:24:15]  And now you just got to make this work.
[00:24:16]  To be fair, a lot of players in the league just fucks his daughter.
[00:24:19]  Really?
[00:24:20]  That's the rumor on the streets.
[00:24:22]  Jeez.
[00:24:23]  Who else?
[00:24:24]  Yeah, I'm not touching this one.
[00:24:26]  That's the rumor on the streets.
[00:24:28]  You know who is touching Doc's daughter?
[00:24:29]  Apparently, a lot of people.
[00:24:30]  Some ball players.
[00:24:31]  That's the word on the streets.
[00:24:33]  Was Ben Simmons one of them at one point?
[00:24:35]  I don't know.
[00:24:36]  Ben's a newbie.
[00:24:36]  But that's the word on these streets.
[00:24:39]  But it is what it is.
[00:24:40]  Like, to me, that's annoying.
[00:24:43]  That's annoying.
[00:24:44]  Like, you're an annoying daughter for that reason.
[00:24:46]  Like, you're fucking disguised co-workers.
[00:24:49]  At the end of the day, Doc has to work with these NBA players.
[00:24:52]  Yeah.
[00:24:52]  Right?
[00:24:53]  Yeah.
[00:24:53]  And they would want nothing more than to fuck your daughter.
[00:25:00]  And why would you give them that?
[00:25:03]  Like, imagine.
[00:25:04]  You selfish bitch.
[00:25:06]  Yeah, she's so fucking selfish.
[00:25:08]  I've done that before.
[00:25:10]  I've slept with one of my coaches' daughters before.
[00:25:12]  See, that's crazy.
[00:25:13]  It's like you know what I mean?
[00:25:16]  Like, it wasn't that.
[00:25:17]  It was actually.
[00:25:18]  I'm judging, Kez.
[00:25:18]  Yeah, I'm judging.
[00:25:19]  Why?
[00:25:20]  Son, I'm judging, man.
[00:25:23]  How's that not fall, dog?
[00:25:24]  He was like, he looked at me like.
[00:25:28]  Were you starting or no?
[00:25:30]  I was starting, bro.
[00:25:31]  I was on college.
[00:25:32]  You were starting?
[00:25:32]  Yeah, I got player of the week like four times that year, too.
[00:25:34]  Word?
[00:25:35]  Yeah, that was nice.
[00:25:35]  Thanks to both of them.
[00:25:38]  She was cute, man.
[00:25:39]  Hey, what if she's my college years, bro?
[00:25:41]  I think he set her up for that.
[00:25:43]  I think he was like, yo, the only thing that Kaz needs is some confidence.
[00:25:48]  No, to be fair, this is a year after I graduated.
[00:25:51]  Like, she would always come to the game.
[00:25:53]  She'd always flirt, whatever.
[00:25:54]  But I didn't until you finished.
[00:25:57]  Until I was out of college.
[00:25:58]  So she was still in high school and you were in college.
[00:26:00]  No, I was graduating college.
[00:26:03]  Oh.
[00:26:03]  She was.
[00:26:04]  Well, we both graduated college, but he was still coaching the team.
[00:26:07]  Oh, so you didn't fuck her while you were coaching?
[00:26:09]  No, no, no.
[00:26:10]  Yeah, I'm going to go back in the game, coach.
[00:26:11]  No?
[00:26:11]  You sure you don't want your daughter to get cooked up?
[00:26:13]  I'm going to go back in the game, coach.
[00:26:15]  Coach, I think I got a few more minutes in me, coach.
[00:26:18]  Call timeout.
[00:26:19]  We don't need a timeout yet, coach.
[00:26:21]  The girl was trying to call timeout last time.
[00:26:23]  You were not cool, bro.
[00:26:24]  Like, we like, I remember like when she was like, he thought it'd be cool, you fucking his daughter.
[00:26:27]  Like, when she finally told him, like, yeah, you have no choice.
[00:26:31]  I love it when dads are cool after you fucking that daughter.
[00:26:34]  Like, you better be cool, motherfucker.
[00:26:36]  Exactly.
[00:26:36]  We play in zone.
[00:26:39]  Only man-to-man I play is a jazz.
[00:26:41]  Subs up.
[00:26:42]  Subs up.
[00:26:45]  I'm going to play a boxing one on her.
[00:26:47]  Oh, man.
[00:26:48]  Real talk.
[00:26:49]  Isn't it crazy that every movie creates this dynamic where the man wants to win over the daughter's father?
[00:26:55]  Like, you do.
[00:26:57]  So nervous.
[00:26:58]  You do, though.
[00:26:59]  Not win them over, but you want to be like.
[00:27:01]  You're not a psycho.
[00:27:02]  You got to win me over.
[00:27:03]  I'm fucking your daughter.
[00:27:05]  You're a wild boy.
[00:27:05]  You're a really psycho.
[00:27:06]  You're really a wild boy.
[00:27:07]  Wow.
[00:27:08]  You're a wild boy.
[00:27:09]  This is not just a concept in movies.
[00:27:11]  That's it in life.
[00:27:12]  This guy's crazy.
[00:27:13]  You want to meet?
[00:27:14]  This guy's fucking crazy, man.
[00:27:15]  Woo!
[00:27:17]  Woo!
[00:27:19]  I have a new idea that just came about in movies.
[00:27:22]  So, I got, yeah, because back in the day, you didn't smash the daughter first.
[00:27:26]  You had to win over the dad.
[00:27:28]  The dad was like, all right, open up that pussy.
[00:27:30]  Let him in it.
[00:27:31]  Right?
[00:27:32]  This was a good dinner.
[00:27:33]  That dinner meant a lot back in the day, right?
[00:27:36]  It was like everything you said on that dinner, there was a little crank on the daughter's leg.
[00:27:40]  And I was like, yeah, actually, I'm in finance.
[00:27:41]  Crank, I'm making $2 million a year.
[00:27:46]  And the dad just had a little rotating thing.
[00:27:49]  Crank, I did get fired for my last job.
[00:27:53]  Crank, So that dinner mattered.
[00:27:57]  You had to kill it.
[00:27:58]  But now, by the time you meet the father, you've already fucked the daughter many times.
[00:28:01]  So it's like, you need to win me over, fam.
[00:28:04]  You need to win me over.
[00:28:07]  Like, why are we thinking about this different?
[00:28:08]  Yo, there's something really wrong.
[00:28:10]  Wrong with you.
[00:28:11]  There's something really wrong with you.
[00:28:13]  Son, I already hit her.
[00:28:14]  I bumping grind and put my thumb on the butt like a dad.
[00:28:17]  Like that.
[00:28:19]  Son, I pray you never have a daughter, son.
[00:28:21]  Yo, bro.
[00:28:22]  I'm looking at my dad.
[00:28:25]  Son, my girl's dad disrespects me.
[00:28:27]  During dinner, daughter liable to get fingered in that moment.
[00:28:33]  In that moment.
[00:28:35]  I'm sorry.
[00:28:38]  What was that, Dad?
[00:28:40]  What was that?
[00:28:42]  This is how I know you date a lot of white women.
[00:28:46]  I just started dating white women.
[00:28:47]  Nah, bro.
[00:28:48]  Just kidding.
[00:28:48]  You don't get to meet the dads and the black dad.
[00:28:57]  This is how I know.
[00:28:59]  This is how I know.
[00:29:00]  I'm like, there's no way to do that with a black daddy in the house.
[00:29:03]  You kidding me?
[00:29:04]  Oh my god, there was probably no black daddy.
[00:29:08]  I get it.
[00:29:09]  I get it.
[00:29:11]  I'm making no sense on that.
[00:29:13]  No.
[00:29:13]  Nah, bro.
[00:29:15]  It's just fucking insane.
[00:29:17]  If you love this girl, like, if you're some girl, you probably not mean the father anyway.
[00:29:20]  If you meet the father, you care about this girl, right?
[00:29:22]  Yes, 100%.
[00:29:23]  But all I'm saying is this: Kosh, right?
[00:29:25]  Tell me if I'm making sense here.
[00:29:27]  All I'm asking, tell me if I'm making sense.
[00:29:29]  Okay.
[00:29:31]  I'm taking care of your daughter.
[00:29:34]  Right?
[00:29:34]  Right, right.
[00:29:35]  I'm the new you.
[00:29:37]  Yeah.
[00:29:38]  No.
[00:29:39]  What?
[00:29:39]  You're not her daddy.
[00:29:40]  You've never taken her.
[00:29:41]  I'm not her dad, but I got to protect her and provide for her.
[00:29:44]  That's the idea.
[00:29:46]  Hold on, hold on, hold on.
[00:29:47]  You like when a girl calls me?
[00:29:47]  Well, they can't provide for her themselves.
[00:29:49]  You like you when a girl calls you daddy, bro?
[00:29:51]  Say what?
[00:29:51]  You like it when a girl calls you daddy?
[00:29:53]  She don't really call me dad.
[00:29:54]  You don't like it?
[00:29:55]  She don't call me daddy, really.
[00:29:56]  I'm gonna be honest with you.
[00:29:57]  That don't really happen.
[00:29:58]  I've had a girl say that to me.
[00:29:59]  There's some girls that are into that.
[00:30:00]  I'm like, don't do that.
[00:30:01]  I make him call me father.
[00:30:02]  Oh, there you go.
[00:30:07]  I make him call me dad.
[00:30:09]  Just dad.
[00:30:10]  Dad.
[00:30:11]  Right there, Dad.
[00:30:15]  It's Mr. Clutter.
[00:30:17]  Why don't you call me Mr. Your Last Name?
[00:30:21]  It's just Mr. Media.
[00:30:23]  Dude, Mr. Media is sick.
[00:30:26]  Dude, you throw that glass.
[00:30:28]  Mr. Media is a porn name.
[00:30:30]  It is.
[00:30:30]  Real talk.
[00:30:32]  Shut up.
[00:30:33]  There you go.
[00:30:35]  You're about to let loose.
[00:30:36]  You're going.
[00:30:38]  You got that full clip.
[00:30:39]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:30:40]  Talk to me, Al.
[00:30:42]  Talk to me.
[00:30:42]  What?
[00:30:43]  What?
[00:30:43]  Sometimes she asks for an edit.
[00:30:49]  Okay.
[00:30:49]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:30:50]  If I'm the one that's going to protect your daughter after you die, you're closer to dead than I am.
[00:30:55]  I got to protect her.
[00:30:56]  Going to provide, shouldn't you be wanting to win me over?
[00:30:58]  Like, yeah, but you're not set.
[00:31:00]  Like, you're not married yet.
[00:31:02]  He still has influence on whether or not, like, if she values his opinion, he's like, I don't really like this guy.
[00:31:08]  Dads really think that their daughters, that their opinion matters to their daughter.
[00:31:12]  I think this is a white girl.
[00:31:14]  Where you're like, I don't care what you think, dad.
[00:31:16]  That happens in other families, but not as often.
[00:31:19]  I get mad.
[00:31:19]  I've got a lot of brown sex families.
[00:31:21]  Like, if the dad's there, it happens for sure.
[00:31:23]  Ain't nobody to give a fuck what their parents say, really.
[00:31:27]  White people go.
[00:31:27]  Stop.
[00:31:28]  This is how you did this.
[00:31:29]  I know you did a lot of YouTube, bro.
[00:31:31]  If my mom didn't like my shorty, yeah, you was out.
[00:31:34]  You was out.
[00:31:35]  Like, you had to win the parents over.
[00:31:37]  Straight up.
[00:31:38]  What if you had a bad dad?
[00:31:38]  Like, I've blown the dinner before.
[00:31:40]  Say what?
[00:31:40]  Like, I've blown the dinner completely.
[00:31:43]  Showing up being black.
[00:31:44]  Yeah, like, I was like, my shirt wasn't ironic.
[00:31:47]  That's another one.
[00:31:49]  He's showing up, bud.
[00:31:51]  Didn't say anything.
[00:31:52]  All right, my name is Kaz.
[00:31:55]  What?
[00:31:55]  What?
[00:31:56]  Thought he was Asian.
[00:31:58]  Nah, but like, yeah, no, I've totally blown the dinner before.
[00:32:01]  And like, I don't understand.
[00:32:02]  You said he was a writer.
[00:32:03]  I just don't.
[00:32:04]  I don't get it.
[00:32:05]  I don't.
[00:32:06]  I've had like some ill-timed jokes.
[00:32:08]  Like, what did he say?
[00:32:10]  I don't remember what I said, but like, it was just like, I thought I was.
[00:32:12]  You ever think you were too cool?
[00:32:13]  Like, with the parent?
[00:32:14]  And, like, oh, bro, you kind of.
[00:32:16]  Like, what Eddie does every week when he thinks he's like when he thinks he's too comfortable.
[00:32:22]  What are you saying?
[00:32:23]  I don't remember.
[00:32:23]  Like, I don't remember.
[00:32:24]  This is years ago.
[00:32:25]  This is when I was, you know, had to win over parents when I was like 26.
[00:32:27]  You just seeing the mom walk away from the table.
[00:32:29]  You look at the dad like she gets it from her mama.
[00:32:31]  Something like that.
[00:32:32]  Something stupid.
[00:32:33]  Like, I thought I definitely overstepped my boundaries.
[00:32:35]  I'm like, a few jokes.
[00:32:37]  It was something along the lines of just like, you know, like, maybe like cursing when I probably shouldn't have.
[00:32:42]  And like, there's like little kids.
[00:32:44]  And like, but because he cursed and like I cursed.
[00:32:46]  And like, it was a very big difference between like him saying a curse and me being like, oh, yeah, fuck that shit.
[00:32:51]  I was like, whoa.
[00:32:52]  It was, you felt it like immediately.
[00:32:54]  And then like two or three weeks later, it was just, it was a rap.
[00:32:56]  Like, I knew it was over.
[00:32:58]  See, that's pussy, bro.
[00:32:59]  It ain't pussy.
[00:33:00]  It's just that, like, some girls are very big daddy's girls.
[00:33:04]  And it's like, if daddy don't like you, I don't believe that shit, fam.
[00:33:06]  Mom, mom will always, mom was, moms will always make it up to you.
[00:33:10]  I don't believe that shit.
[00:33:12]  We're low-key.
[00:33:12]  I don't believe it.
[00:33:13]  That's not because you don't.
[00:33:17]  Who doesn't?
[00:33:20]  Y'all hate girls with good relationships with their parents?
[00:33:23]  Fuck is wrong with y'all?
[00:33:24]  Like, what kind of crazy ass world do y'all live in?
[00:33:27]  Hold on.
[00:33:29]  Wait a minute.
[00:33:30]  Come on, like.
[00:33:32]  I'm sorry.
[00:33:33]  Have you ever had good head?
[00:33:37]  Have you?
[00:33:38]  Guys, have you ever had good head?
[00:33:41]  Yo, there is no better head when it feels like the girl's trying to find her father in your dick.
[00:33:48]  She's just like, she's trying to squeeze you out the shaft.
[00:34:00]  Trying to suck the shame out or something.
[00:34:03]  God damn, yo.
[00:34:05]  The tears just make it extra weight.
[00:34:07]  Real talk, that's why they like it when you say, I'm coming.
[00:34:15]  They just take it on the chest, like, oh, it's my dad said, ladies, listen.
[00:34:22]  That's why they swallowed.
[00:34:23]  It's to keep them.
[00:34:25]  Just find your dad.
[00:34:26]  Just have a conversation with him.
[00:34:28]  Do something.
[00:34:29]  Please.
[00:34:30]  I beg of you.
[00:34:31]  Yo, for real.
[00:34:32]  That is why girls swallow.
[00:34:35]  I'm keeping these forever or until the next time I pee.
[00:34:39]  Oh, God.
[00:34:41]  Sons.
[00:34:41]  Okay.
[00:34:43]  Maybe I have a unique way of thinking about these things.
[00:34:45]  I don't know.
[00:34:46]  I just feel like.
[00:34:48]  Yo, can we say something?
[00:34:51]  Akash and Akash's wifey and me were a much better turn.
[00:35:04]  I'm sorry.
[00:35:05]  Good man.
[00:35:07]  It was a very no confrontation, nothing.
[00:35:09]  It was very dope of him to do it.
[00:35:10]  As stupid as I am, I apologize profusely.
[00:35:14]  And I didn't want to create any tension.
[00:35:17]  And I said, And this is a public apology, Justly.
[00:35:20]  I'm sorry.
[00:35:21]  But what I said was, I think sometimes my, you know, this kind of crazy persona is a little bit more digestible once you know me.
[00:35:32]  Once you get to know you.
[00:35:33]  And I didn't put in that time to get shit.
[00:35:35]  You get to know you.
[00:35:36]  It was a little wild.
[00:35:38]  Everything with you comes with context.
[00:35:39]  You got to tell me.
[00:35:40]  That's always telling people.
[00:35:41]  I'm not good on print.
[00:35:42]  Yeah.
[00:35:44]  There's so many times people are like, yo, I don't know how you do the podcast.
[00:35:47]  I'm like, yo, everything he does comes with context, though.
[00:35:49]  Like, you got to know the guy.
[00:35:52]  You got to be around him.
[00:35:53]  You got to be around the energy.
[00:35:54]  That's what I told my girlfriend's dad.
[00:35:56]  You know what I mean?
[00:35:57]  It's like, don't listen to shit.
[00:35:59]  I text you, dog.
[00:35:59]  Like, everybody here.
[00:36:01]  Man, say something.
[00:36:02]  Watch it go and get a finger.
[00:36:04]  Oh, man.
[00:36:06]  God damn it.
[00:36:08]  Isn't that crazy?
[00:36:09]  Anyway, shout out to Justleen.
[00:36:12]  Shout out to Justin.
[00:36:13]  I'm trying to.
[00:36:15]  I'm on good terms with Kaz wifey.
[00:36:16]  We all got.
[00:36:17]  Oh, yeah.
[00:36:18]  She's a fan.
[00:36:18]  She loves me.
[00:36:19]  We all got it.
[00:36:20]  I'm on good terms, bro.
[00:36:23]  Listen, hey, we started what year?
[00:36:24]  This is good.
[00:36:25]  We started in 2019.
[00:36:29]  That's all I wanted, bro.
[00:36:30]  I wanted these dikes to win the fucking World Cup.
[00:36:33]  And then I wanted to be best friends with all my girls' wifey.
[00:36:37]  That's it.
[00:36:38]  Can you ask for anything more in life, really, though?
[00:36:41]  You're doing well.
[00:36:42]  Can you?
[00:36:45]  Can you hear me?
[00:36:46]  I don't know if you can.
[00:36:50]  You know the wildest part of that?
[00:36:52]  Who wanted these dikes to win that guy?
[00:36:56]  That's top two things.
[00:36:57]  That's me.
[00:36:58]  I wanted relationships.
[00:37:00]  Oh, Al, you missed it.
[00:37:01]  I walked out.
[00:37:01]  Me and Akash's wifey were on good terms again.
[00:37:04]  Yeah, they went to a dinner.

=== Shower Confessions (16:09) ===

[00:37:05]  It was nice.
[00:37:08]  You know, I apologize, chopped it up.
[00:37:09]  It was good, good stuff.
[00:37:11]  Good little meal.
[00:37:12]  I just heard you laughing, so did he just probably ruin it just now?
[00:37:15]  No, She even let me share some of her fries.
[00:37:19]  She doesn't do that with everybody, apparently.
[00:37:21]  Actually, I kind of low-key just took them.
[00:37:25]  But there you go.
[00:37:26]  Then she let me know very quickly, like, I don't usually let people take my fries.
[00:37:30]  She was cool enough.
[00:37:31]  She was cool enough.
[00:37:32]  She was good.
[00:37:33]  That's good.
[00:37:33]  That warms my heart.
[00:37:35]  I hope it lasts.
[00:37:36]  But more comments like that.
[00:37:37]  Yeah, I know.
[00:37:37]  I'm a fucking little bit like pretty new.
[00:37:42]  I got a family.
[00:37:42]  I got context now.
[00:37:44]  Okay, so what's up with the wedding?
[00:37:45]  She was like, I don't know.
[00:37:48]  I don't know.
[00:37:49]  I don't know.
[00:37:50]  We that cool.
[00:37:52]  I said he's some pictures and shit.
[00:37:54]  A little better.
[00:37:55]  We'll see.
[00:37:57]  So it's a big happy family, guys.
[00:37:59]  We have good, good families.
[00:38:02]  Flagrant families.
[00:38:03]  I like it.
[00:38:03]  Fuck, man.
[00:38:04]  Real talk, y'all.
[00:38:06]  Can I say one thing before we move on?
[00:38:08]  What's up?
[00:38:08]  All right.
[00:38:08]  Y'all know Mark.
[00:38:10]  Mark opens for number one.
[00:38:11]  Gagnon.
[00:38:12]  He's in a bunch of things.
[00:38:15]  He's dropping in with us.
[00:38:16]  He's done inside jokes.
[00:38:18]  You know, very funny young comic just moved to New York.
[00:38:21]  You know what I mean?
[00:38:22]  Very talented.
[00:38:23]  That's him.
[00:38:23]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:38:25]  And young guy, 22 years old.
[00:38:27]  I saw his talent and I was like, listen, let's give this guy a shot.
[00:38:31]  Let's bring him on tour.
[00:38:32]  He's in New York.
[00:38:33]  He was couch surfing a little bit.
[00:38:34]  I'm like, yo, I'm out of town.
[00:38:35]  You know what I mean?
[00:38:36]  Why don't you stay at my place, dog?
[00:38:37]  You got my place.
[00:38:38]  Get a nice bed.
[00:38:40]  Get some AC.
[00:38:40]  Get some big windows.
[00:38:42]  I got big windows.
[00:38:43]  That's 11.
[00:38:44]  You got some big ass windows.
[00:38:45]  That's majority window.
[00:38:46]  You know what I mean?
[00:38:47]  You're in a nice neighborhood.
[00:38:48]  He got big ass windows.
[00:38:50]  I come back from my little vacay.
[00:38:52]  You know what I mean?
[00:38:52]  I go to take my shower this morning before I come here flavor two.
[00:38:56]  What do I see on the bottom of the fucking shower on the bottom of the tub?
[00:39:00]  Not pupes.
[00:39:02]  Come.
[00:39:02]  Oh, God.
[00:39:04]  Son, my man whacked off in my shower and didn't even clean it.
[00:39:09]  You didn't give it a swirly?
[00:39:10]  That's what I was doing.
[00:39:11]  Yeah, I drank off into the swirly.
[00:39:12]  I had to be in the shower footing his sperm with shit.
[00:39:18]  What?
[00:39:19]  What?
[00:39:19]  That's not what y'all doing when your friends pussy nut in your shower?
[00:39:23]  That's not how y'all do it?
[00:39:25]  Son, white people different.
[00:39:26]  I'm about to say white people.
[00:39:27]  Who does that?
[00:39:28]  Son, who has the comfort level to beat off in other people's houses?
[00:39:33]  I'm going to tell you some real shit.
[00:39:35]  I was in my own shower doing that Brazilian dance.
[00:39:40]  You don't know what I'm talking about?
[00:39:43]  Yeah, that's it.
[00:39:46]  With the heel turn.
[00:39:47]  I was doing the heel turn.
[00:39:48]  What was that shit?
[00:39:49]  The heel toe.
[00:39:50]  The heel toe.
[00:39:52]  I was doing that.
[00:39:52]  It's Jamaican?
[00:39:53]  Yes.
[00:39:53]  I know.
[00:39:54]  Jamaican?
[00:39:54]  Heel toe.
[00:39:55]  No, I think that's Brazil.
[00:39:56]  It's like Kumbia or Sunshine.
[00:39:57]  Heel toe.
[00:39:58]  I thought that shit was black, yeah.
[00:39:59]  I was a black American.
[00:40:01]  I don't know what it is, but I was doing that to Mark Sperm.
[00:40:03]  So here's the thing about Mark.
[00:40:05]  So Mark definitely needed to get, Mark definitely needed to get lambda.
[00:40:09]  That's wild.
[00:40:09]  Fam, how you disrespectful.
[00:40:12]  Come in my bathtub.
[00:40:13]  Come in my bathtub.
[00:40:15]  This is the thing that bothered me.
[00:40:16]  I've never heard somebody invite people to get it.
[00:40:18]  I know it's a good thing.
[00:40:18]  Come in my time.
[00:40:19]  Where's my hand?
[00:40:20]  Come in my bathtub.
[00:40:23]  Yo, white.
[00:40:24]  You're so fucking gross.
[00:40:26]  Yo, but it's funny because I was in the group chat when you...
[00:40:30]  Son, the crazy thing is that Mark didn't even deny it.
[00:40:35]  That was the crazy part.
[00:40:37]  Fuck this.
[00:40:40]  He was like, damn, maybe it could be hair gel too.
[00:40:44]  Jeez.
[00:40:46]  I'm getting old.
[00:40:48]  Yo, I'm getting the picture up right now.
[00:40:50]  Yo, why?
[00:40:50]  You took a picture of the nuts?
[00:40:52]  I took two pictures.
[00:40:53]  Oh, I don't want to see that shit.
[00:40:54]  Nah, nah, nah.
[00:40:55]  We gonna see it.
[00:40:57]  Because let me tell you exactly what happened.
[00:40:59]  Let's see what you're saying.
[00:40:59]  You're gonna die, Eden, before I just texted to you, Eden.
[00:41:02]  She was gonna die.
[00:41:06]  Yo, that's my bad, bro.
[00:41:07]  I didn't think about it like that.
[00:41:08]  I didn't think about it.
[00:41:09]  You know what?
[00:41:10]  I didn't think about it.
[00:41:11]  So, here's the thing.
[00:41:12]  Can you imagine your girl going through your phone?
[00:41:13]  You're like, you should text Eden right now.
[00:41:22]  You left this here.
[00:41:24]  Take that, son.
[00:41:25]  That's hilarious.
[00:41:26]  Oh, man.
[00:41:27]  I'm about to go into Eden's phone and just change Andrew's number.
[00:41:30]  Change it all.
[00:41:31]  Change your name in his phone to Andrew.
[00:41:33]  Y'all got it?
[00:41:34]  You got it, Eden?
[00:41:35]  Yeah.
[00:41:35]  Okay, good.
[00:41:39]  I want to see cum down.
[00:41:41]  This is what bothers me the most about this.
[00:41:43]  We got to pilot.
[00:41:44]  You ready to have it on the screen?
[00:41:45]  Come the grossest shit on earth, man.
[00:41:46]  Say what?
[00:41:47]  Come is the grossest shit.
[00:41:48]  It is.
[00:41:48]  It is.
[00:41:49]  You're right.
[00:41:49]  So that's what we're all cum.
[00:41:51]  What do you do when you're nuts?
[00:41:52]  We're all cum before.
[00:41:53]  You're like, this?
[00:41:54]  Like, you just kind of like, Andrew's get rid of his sister.
[00:41:56]  That shit.
[00:41:56]  You lean back like fucking fat Joe and bust that shit in your mouth.
[00:42:05]  It's like you playing catch with goldfish with your friends.
[00:42:09]  There's only two.
[00:42:11]  There's only two acceptable ways to beat off.
[00:42:14]  Only two.
[00:42:16]  Last day of the washcloth into the washcloth and directly into the shower with the shower running.
[00:42:22]  Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:42:23]  Into the drink.
[00:42:23]  The top is already disgusting.
[00:42:25]  I didn't even come here.
[00:42:26]  Let me tell you how pissed off I am at Mark over this shit.
[00:42:28]  Now go.
[00:42:28]  Bring it up.
[00:42:29]  This little ass fucking kid.
[00:42:30]  That's right there.
[00:42:31]  Look at.
[00:42:34]  That's nuts.
[00:42:36]  That's nut.
[00:42:37]  So let me tell you a couple things that pissed me off about fast nuts.
[00:42:41]  Zoom back out.
[00:42:42]  Zoom back out.
[00:42:43]  And look at his yellow ass nut.
[00:42:44]  How you fucking 22?
[00:42:45]  Your nut ain't even clean.
[00:42:46]  Look at your fucking diet, buddy.
[00:42:48]  You're eating chicken tenders all day and fucking sweet potato fries for the funny bone.
[00:42:51]  That's why you're not yellow.
[00:42:53]  Okay?
[00:42:53]  It's disgusting.
[00:42:54]  You're not.
[00:42:54]  It's embarrassing.
[00:42:55]  Now, this is what bothered me too.
[00:42:57]  Okay, zoom out even more, please.
[00:42:58]  So I'd like to just point this out.
[00:43:00]  Okay.
[00:43:00]  You know what's crazy that there's hair everywhere on that shit.
[00:43:04]  Look at the hair everywhere here.
[00:43:05]  Okay.
[00:43:06]  Right?
[00:43:08]  Please, So look that there's head.
[00:43:11]  They look at there's hair everywhere, right?
[00:43:13]  This is what this means.
[00:43:15]  This means that this guy, right?
[00:43:18]  This means he wasn't getting a quick jerk and then getting out of there.
[00:43:21]  That means he was taking his time whacking off in my shower to the point where the water level raised, okay?
[00:43:31]  He busted off into a little somewhat full pool of water.
[00:43:36]  It was probably ankle high.
[00:43:37]  Didn't even hit the drain.
[00:43:38]  Didn't hit the drain and then left the shower and let it go into the dream on its own devices, assuming that it would just get washed in there with the rest of the flow.
[00:43:47]  Did you not?
[00:43:48]  Is it a cum chowder in your bathtub?
[00:43:52]  He's out there shaving.
[00:43:52]  Look at the little hairs.
[00:43:53]  He's shaving.
[00:43:54]  Orlando cum chowder.
[00:43:59]  I mean, this is mind-boggling, bro.
[00:44:01]  You take someone in.
[00:44:03]  Come chowder.
[00:44:03]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:44:04]  You take someone in out of the kindness of your heart.
[00:44:07]  You know, give somebody a great opportunity.
[00:44:10]  How many sold-out world tours are there that you could come on and be a part of?
[00:44:13]  And then you're just going to come all over my bathtub and leave it there.
[00:44:16]  That's love, right?
[00:44:17]  That's travel, son.
[00:44:19]  So what hair is that?
[00:44:22]  What is this?
[00:44:24]  Is it a sperm, even?
[00:44:25]  It kind of looks like two balls.
[00:44:27]  So this looks like biology class when you're trying to identify what's under the microscope and shit.
[00:44:34]  I don't even know what that is, bro.
[00:44:38]  Look at that fucking thing.
[00:44:42]  Come Loogie right there, bro.
[00:44:45]  I mean, this is horrendous.
[00:44:46]  I feel like if you zoom in, you can see like his little face on squiggly lines.
[00:44:50]  Swimming around.
[00:44:52]  All right.
[00:44:52]  Yo, Mark.
[00:44:54]  Mark, you fucking animal.
[00:44:57]  I didn't do anything, bro.
[00:44:58]  I'll use a new hair conditioner that made a weird stain.
[00:45:02]  That's what he said.
[00:45:02]  Hold on.
[00:45:03]  You use hair conditioner?
[00:45:07]  Dude, that's worse than whacking off in my fucking bathtub, bro.
[00:45:11]  I don't joke, bro.
[00:45:13]  I was having a threesome.
[00:45:14]  Oh, yeah?
[00:45:15]  So how many dudes come is that?
[00:45:20]  I was trying to buy you equipment.
[00:45:24]  I was trying to do a nice thing for you.
[00:45:26]  Mark, you ain't paying for it.
[00:45:28]  I don't give a fuck.
[00:45:29]  Mark.
[00:45:29]  You came in this man's shower and didn't wash it out.
[00:45:32]  Admit.
[00:45:33]  Fuck you.
[00:45:34]  I'm trying to buy you a camera with your credit card.
[00:45:36]  So what?
[00:45:37]  I came in your shower.
[00:45:39]  You fucking animal.
[00:45:40]  What the fuck is wrong?
[00:45:42]  Those are the brakes.
[00:45:42]  I buy you some shit and then come on your visit to even exchange.
[00:45:47]  That's how life works.
[00:45:49]  If I buy you something, I'm allowed to come on something.
[00:45:51]  You know what's crazy?
[00:45:52]  Is that Mark?
[00:45:53]  You Venmo requested me today, right?
[00:45:55]  And I told you to Venmo request me for payment this week, right?
[00:46:00]  Before I knew that you came in my shower.
[00:46:01]  So when I press pay on that Venmo, I'm effectively paying you to come on my shower.
[00:46:10]  You like that one?
[00:46:15]  Can you admit that you whacked off in my shower?
[00:46:20]  What do you mean by whack off?
[00:46:25]  Sneaky pieces.
[00:46:26]  Don't protest too much.
[00:46:29]  Okay, did you jerk off in my shower?
[00:46:34]  Do you want the honest answer or do you want the answer that's going to help you feel better?
[00:46:42]  I want the honest answer.
[00:46:44]  Look, I was lonely.
[00:46:48]  Hey, Mark, girl, he's going to be faithful.
[00:46:51]  Cheating on you with Andrew's porcelain.
[00:46:53]  Dude, this is an only person you gotta worry about.
[00:46:59]  Fucking.
[00:47:03]  Yo.
[00:47:03]  I only think his cum is touching is Andrew's pubes.
[00:47:09]  Yeah, I hear you, buddy.
[00:47:10]  I hear you, man.
[00:47:11]  Didn't have to catch up to you, you fucking loser.
[00:47:13]  Just wash the fucking tub out.
[00:47:15]  So this is what I want to ask you, right?
[00:47:17]  When you're whacking off in the tub, right?
[00:47:19]  Did you let the water level raise up to about like calf height?
[00:47:24]  No, I rinsed it, but it didn't go all the way.
[00:47:27]  You didn't rinse it.
[00:47:27]  That's a fucking lie.
[00:47:28]  It's hair all over the goddamn bathtub.
[00:47:30]  What's the way you rinse it?
[00:47:31]  Okay?
[00:47:33]  Son, you didn't even feel guilty enough to make sure the cum went down the drain.
[00:47:36]  Go look at it.
[00:47:37]  Listen, I'm going to show you.
[00:47:38]  I sent you the picture.
[00:47:38]  Go look at the picture again.
[00:47:39]  It looks like you washed a Yorkie in my fucking bathroom.
[00:47:42]  Okay?
[00:47:43]  You didn't wait for anything to go down the fucking train.
[00:47:45]  The hair's not me.
[00:47:46]  Who's the dude?
[00:47:47]  Whose hair is it?
[00:47:48]  The dude you fuck, Bradley.
[00:47:49]  I never showered in your shower, Broad.
[00:47:51]  You didn't shower.
[00:47:51]  Okay.
[00:47:52]  You just jerked off.
[00:47:54]  Hold on, man.
[00:47:55]  You just jerked off the bat.
[00:47:57]  You just used the tub just to beat off.
[00:48:01]  So why did you touch my tub?
[00:48:04]  It's a dry tub.
[00:48:05]  Jerk off.
[00:48:06]  Hold on.
[00:48:06]  You were fully clothed.
[00:48:08]  You got naked and put your dry feet in my bathtub and then jerked off dead.
[00:48:15]  I was wearing shoes.
[00:48:17]  You put shoes on into my bathtub.
[00:48:19]  You jerked.
[00:48:19]  Why is there so much hair coming off?
[00:48:23]  I swear to God.
[00:48:24]  Yeah.
[00:48:25]  Are you jerking off to metal music?
[00:48:29]  Just head hanging while you jerked off.
[00:48:33]  Yeah.
[00:48:34]  Do not shoot.
[00:48:36]  Do hot space.
[00:48:44]  Okay.
[00:48:44]  Well, I'm done with this.
[00:48:46]  I think that we have to have new boundaries when you stay in my house.
[00:48:50]  Okay.
[00:48:51]  You want to sleep outside that motherfucker is if you're going to jerk off in my place, I'd like you to drink a little water because your sperm is, it's looking quite yellow, bro.
[00:49:00]  It's looking very yellow.
[00:49:02]  Does everyone want to do that?
[00:49:03]  Is that just these people?
[00:49:04]  It's just yours.
[00:49:05]  It's just you.
[00:49:06]  Okay.
[00:49:06]  Stop drinking Mike's hard lemonade, you fucking child.
[00:49:10]  Oh, country time coming ass.
[00:49:12]  It's country time cop.
[00:49:14]  Country time cop.
[00:49:17]  This motherfucker whacked off an Arnold Palmer.
[00:49:25]  All right, son.
[00:49:27]  Oh, man.
[00:49:29]  I'm quite embarrassed, but at a certain point, you kind of gotta own it.
[00:49:32]  So I was on me.
[00:49:33]  That was my fault.
[00:49:33]  And it won't happen again.
[00:49:37]  He's absolutely a serial killer.
[00:49:40]  Absolutely a serial killer.
[00:49:42]  This shit is wild, baby.
[00:49:44]  That's like, this is some weird, like, animalistic, like, trying to dominate.
[00:49:49]  You know, when like a dog, like, peas on me, you really started to mark your territory in my fucking bathtub, son.
[00:49:58]  You didn't look in your bed, though, right?
[00:49:59]  Oh, God.
[00:50:08]  You had to hate him.
[00:50:09]  He's funny.
[00:50:11]  Mark, he's the funniest rapist I've ever met for sure.
[00:50:16]  Mark.
[00:50:17]  Marky, Marky, Marky.
[00:50:20]  I didn't look at my bed.
[00:50:22]  You know what I did do?
[00:50:23]  I slept in it all last night.
[00:50:25]  So if there's something you'd like to share, I think maybe you should think twice before you scare me with a bear mask again.
[00:50:32]  Oh, you're getting scared, Mark.
[00:50:35]  You're getting scared big time.
[00:50:37]  Just know that the payback is a motherfucker, okay?
[00:50:40]  Remember, we sleep in the same Airbnb, and I have an uncanny ability, an uncanny ability to hold a bust until the last second.
[00:50:49]  What the fuck?
[00:50:50]  Yeah, so you could get cumbed on, bro.
[00:50:53]  Oh my God.
[00:50:54]  No.
[00:50:55]  Alex just quit.
[00:50:57]  That's it.
[00:50:59]  No.
[00:50:59]  Al, what if all of a sudden, Al, you just heard this stomping in the Airbnb and I'm all like, what's happening?
[00:51:06]  And you get out to the group.
[00:51:08]  He's just kissing all Mark.
[00:51:10]  I'm busting all over Mark.
[00:51:12]  Mark's trying to get me back, so he's whacking that shot.
[00:51:16]  And there's two different colored power streams.
[00:51:18]  Like you're watching anime.
[00:51:19]  Like fucking goats must be.
[00:51:23]  It's Goku and whatever.
[00:51:25]  I'll quit right there.
[00:51:28]  Bro, you either got to quit or lean in.
[00:51:31]  Alex, you might have to defend yourself.
[00:51:34]  I don't know if you want to batter my disorder.
[00:51:38]  As we know it.
[00:51:39]  As we know, I got some strong swimmers.
[00:51:44]  Son.
[00:51:46]  Holy shit.
[00:51:47]  Yo, I heard Alex want a sperm.
[00:51:48]  He got suicide mommers.
[00:51:50]  We'll talk.
[00:51:50]  Alex and sperms.
[00:51:52]  Each one of them, they pull themselves out of his own dick in some manhole.
[00:51:59]  Oh, my.
[00:51:59]  Hi, Mark.
[00:52:00]  Peace.
[00:52:02]  Jesus Christ.
[00:52:04]  He's for sure a serial son, bro.
[00:52:06]  These people are different.
[00:52:09]  Okay, we got to get through some more.
[00:52:11]  Son, we ain't talking no sports yet.
[00:52:13]  We got to get through some more sports before we get into this.
[00:52:15]  Let's do mid-roll of the second half.
[00:52:16]  I think that's a phenomenal idea, Arkash.
[00:52:19]  Knock it out.
[00:52:21]  Yo, this next company, I don't even know what to say because I feel like we've said it all, but there could be some new listeners that are listening that have not gotten on the chew yet.
[00:52:32]  And I don't know if there's another company that is more synonymous with the brand of flagrant.
[00:52:38]  Yeah.
[00:52:39]  It's blue chew.
[00:52:40]  It's flagrant chew.
[00:52:41]  It's flagrant chew.
[00:52:42]  Flagrant chew.
[00:52:43]  We need to have our own product.
[00:52:44]  I'm talking to the guys to see if we could get our own product made.
[00:52:47]  But until then, you guys get on that blue chew.
[00:52:51]  Okay, for what, guys, for what it is, for those of you guys who don't know by now, it is the same exact active ingredients as Viagra and Seattle.
[00:52:59]  It's a boner pill.
[00:53:00]  You're going to get your shit hard.
[00:53:02]  But again, this is for male optimization.
[00:53:04]  Okay.
[00:53:05]  This is out here having a good time.
[00:53:07]  Make sure your girl's satisfied.
[00:53:08]  Give your girl the night of her life.
[00:53:09]  Or if you've got a new shorty that you need to impress and you know your dick game ain't amazing and you need to come through with the hammer.

=== Blue Chew Round Two (02:21) ===

[00:53:15]  Akash.
[00:53:16]  You need to come through with the hammer.
[00:53:17]  Yeah.
[00:53:18]  Akash is the most savage dude in the world because this guy took it to get head.
[00:53:21]  I've never seen that guy before.
[00:53:23]  That's one of the most incredible things that I've heard.
[00:53:25]  I respect it.
[00:53:26]  Took it to get head.
[00:53:27]  It's fantastic.
[00:53:28]  Honestly, I recommend it.
[00:53:30]  I recommend it.
[00:53:32]  I recommend it again and again.
[00:53:34]  Walking around with genetically enhanced walking around with genetically enhanced thick.
[00:53:39]  Like, no, no, no, no.
[00:53:40]  Mouth.
[00:53:43]  All happy.
[00:53:45]  The legend.
[00:53:46]  The legend of Akash Singh.
[00:53:49]  But yeah, no headaches, no after effects.
[00:53:52]  No weird side effects.
[00:53:53]  No side effects.
[00:53:54]  You know what the side effect is?
[00:53:55]  You got round two.
[00:53:56]  I'm 35.
[00:53:57]  You ain't getting round two from me.
[00:53:58]  But with this Blue Chew, you getting that round two.
[00:54:01]  Son.
[00:54:01]  Blue Chew, round two.
[00:54:03]  We're happy.
[00:54:04]  We're going at it again.
[00:54:05]  Bluechew.com.
[00:54:06]  Obviously, use the offer called Flagrant.
[00:54:08]  You're going to get yourself for free.
[00:54:10]  You got to pay $5 shipping, but you get yourself for free that first sample.
[00:54:14]  You go try it out.
[00:54:15]  That's all I got to say.
[00:54:16]  I don't even like it.
[00:54:17]  I don't even need to sell it.
[00:54:18]  It's as simple as this.
[00:54:20]  Sells a dope.
[00:54:21]  I want to get a little recorder on me after the shows.
[00:54:24]  Because every time after the shows, the couples walk by and the dude goes, yo, I'm about to chew it out.
[00:54:29]  And the girl turns back and she goes, she goes, damn right.
[00:54:34]  That is crazy.
[00:54:35]  It's crazy.
[00:54:36]  It is insane.
[00:54:38]  So I'm telling you, Blue Chew, the fucking GOATs, it's not a game.
[00:54:42]  It's amazing to see them have ads on ESPN and all that.
[00:54:45]  Yeah, when we started, See it anywhere, and I remember the first time we did that ad, we sold the fucking pill out.
[00:54:54]  Yeah, the pills ran out of inventory, ran out of inventory.
[00:54:57]  Think about how small a pill is.
[00:55:00]  How much room you need for pills, it's a lot of pills, so now this shit is blowing up, so it's great to see what the asshole is.
[00:55:06]  Shout out to Blue Chew, man.
[00:55:08]  I had a dude at a show, has bad shit, beautiful.
[00:55:11]  And I was like, How the fuck did he get hurt?
[00:55:12]  And then he introduced himself, whatever, and he leaned in my ear.
[00:55:15]  He goes, I chew that shit the fuck out.
[00:55:18]  Let's go.
[00:55:19]  So, give your girl the time of her life.
[00:55:21]  Blue Chew.com.
[00:55:22]  Blue Chew.com.
[00:55:24]  Go get that Blue Chew.
[00:55:25]  Make it happen.
[00:55:26]  Release the Kraken.
[00:55:27]  Okay.
[00:55:27]  Round two, Blue Chew.
[00:55:29]  You want to keep it flagrant?
[00:55:31]  You keep it blue.
[00:55:32]  Simple as that.
[00:55:34]  Let's get back to the show.
[00:55:36]  Akash.

=== Kawhi Leonard Analysis (15:34) ===

[00:55:37]  Kawhi, son.
[00:55:39]  I can't believe we haven't even spoken about Kawhi yet.
[00:55:40]  My gosh.
[00:55:41]  What did we talk about?
[00:55:42]  Doc Rivers.
[00:55:43]  Yeah.
[00:55:43]  So I was wrong.
[00:55:46]  I was wrong.
[00:55:47]  But I swear to God, I would have put $10,000 that said that he was absolutely gone there.
[00:55:51]  I'm so mad I didn't bet that.
[00:55:53]  You should have bet it.
[00:55:55]  I don't even think I would have taken it from you because nobody saw it.
[00:55:58]  Nobody saw that shit coming.
[00:55:59]  I will say this.
[00:56:00]  And there is something that we can correct.
[00:56:03]  Woese did tweet out something that wasn't accurate.
[00:56:05]  He tweeted out that an offer was made by OKC for Russell Westbrook and PG to go to Toronto Raptors.
[00:56:14]  Okay.
[00:56:15]  That's not true.
[00:56:17]  The offer was for PG, and in exchange for PG, they wanted four first-round picks and Pascal Siakam.
[00:56:26]  Now, you can't trade Pascal Siakam and expect Kawhi to want to come back.
[00:56:31]  Yeah, you're gutting their future.
[00:56:33]  You're gutting their future.
[00:56:34]  That's kind of what the Lakers did.
[00:56:35]  And they're current in a lot of ways because he played an integral part of that team.
[00:56:38]  He took a lot of, you know, took a lot of stress off of Kawhi.
[00:56:41]  He was probably the only other consistent off-the-ball or on-the-ball scorer.
[00:56:45]  And Paul George just had surgery.
[00:56:47]  We don't know how that should be.
[00:56:50]  So, what did happen, though, is OKC is a shrewd front office.
[00:57:00]  They released that statement so that other teams could go, what?
[00:57:04]  What's available?
[00:57:06]  Eyes lit up.
[00:57:07]  Yeah.
[00:57:08]  So they used that situation.
[00:57:10]  Which you explained earlier.
[00:57:11]  Instead of just saying, hey, Russ is available, people will be like, oh, why don't you want him?
[00:57:14]  I'll give you a first-round pick.
[00:57:16]  You don't want him.
[00:57:17]  He must not be that great.
[00:57:19]  Doesn't that speak to just how powerful Kawhi is right now, though?
[00:57:23]  I'll be honest, Kawhi impressed me this offseason.
[00:57:25]  She impressed the shit out of me.
[00:57:27]  He was thinking very strategically about what he wanted to play with and how he was going to play next year and thinking about not only the team that he was building, but also his body.
[00:57:38]  And one of the issues with his time in Toronto was that he had to carry too much offensive weight.
[00:57:43]  So he's like, I need somebody who can get buckets and lock up.
[00:57:48]  Listen, lock up, great.
[00:57:50]  But Kawhi goes into Kawhi goes into a situation going, I'm going to guard the best player and I'm fine with that.
[00:57:54]  Yeah.
[00:57:55]  But he can't carry the team by putting up 40 every single time.
[00:58:00]  What?
[00:58:00]  What's this?
[00:58:01]  No, this is nothing.
[00:58:03]  No, no.
[00:58:03]  This is your theory.
[00:58:05]  What you just said.
[00:58:06]  Oh, I know.
[00:58:06]  I know, I know.
[00:58:07]  Oh, okay.
[00:58:07]  Gotcha.
[00:58:08]  So it's like, so basically, he's like, I need somebody else who could basically score.
[00:58:12]  I need another guy who's going to do something.
[00:58:14]  Nobody else on Toronto.
[00:58:15]  I mean, Pascal, a little bit, but no one was really.
[00:58:18]  I mean, Kyle wasn't consistently doing it.
[00:58:21]  No, definitely.
[00:58:22]  But the guys were going to be able to do it.
[00:58:22]  As good as Pascal Siakim is, he's no Paul George.
[00:58:24]  Exactly.
[00:58:25]  Got it.
[00:58:25]  And, you know, I mean, Kawhi's got knees.
[00:58:28]  He's got knees he has to be concerned about.
[00:58:29]  Yeah, but that's quadriceps tendon.
[00:58:31]  Even with the load management, he was limping through the playoffs.
[00:58:34]  Oh, he was barely made through.
[00:58:35]  Yeah.
[00:58:36]  He barely made through.
[00:58:36]  So you have a situation.
[00:58:38]  There was like two games in the Easter conference finals.
[00:58:40]  I was like, he looks like he's going to hold up.
[00:58:42]  Yeah.
[00:58:42]  Thank God Katie got.
[00:58:43]  Well, not thank God Katie got hurt, but if Katie didn't get hurt, I had to be stretched out for a couple games.
[00:58:48]  I don't know.
[00:58:48]  It might be a rapper.
[00:58:49]  You got to go and guard him and might be a rap.
[00:58:52]  Yeah.
[00:58:53]  It was a very interesting situation, to say the least.
[00:58:56]  But now you're looking at a team that has a starting front three of Patrick Beverly, ferocious defender, Paul George, ferocious defender, Kawhi Leonard, ferocious defender.
[00:59:09]  Montreuse Harrell, ferocious defender off the bench.
[00:59:11]  Mo Harkless.
[00:59:12]  Mo Harkless.
[00:59:13]  Ferocious defender off the bench.
[00:59:14]  I've never seen this much perimeter defensive talent.
[00:59:17]  Question.
[00:59:17]  Is this the best defensive team that we've seen?
[00:59:21]  On paper?
[00:59:22]  Yeah.
[00:59:22]  Yes.
[00:59:22]  On paper, yes.
[00:59:23]  Better than the Heat with LeBron and Dewey, because they could lock up, but Chalmers wasn't like a fucking lockdown defender.
[00:59:29]  Beverly is.
[00:59:30]  Beverly's a dog.
[00:59:31]  Question.
[00:59:31]  Beverly's a dog.
[00:59:32]  Paul George and Kawhi Leonard are the top two honesty.
[00:59:36]  Touch away players in the world, and number three is like way down.
[00:59:39]  I was looking at those two are right there.
[00:59:41]  That Dame Lillard final shot, which was the final play of Paul's career.
[00:59:46]  And everybody's trying to go, everybody was tweeting out this image.
[00:59:49]  They're like, this is the last play of Paul's OKC career.
[00:59:52]  Yeah.
[00:59:52]  It was a beautifully defended play.
[00:59:54]  Yeah, it was a fucking crazy shot.
[00:59:56]  He shot it from 40 feet out.
[00:59:58]  What else are you going to do?
[00:59:59]  Paul is an inch away from blocking that ball at 40 feet out.
[01:00:05]  I'll take it.
[01:00:06]  Yeah.
[01:00:06]  Right?
[01:00:07]  Yeah.
[01:00:08]  It is a really interesting thing, especially as the league gravitates towards offense and shooters, right?
[01:00:17]  Like small ball.
[01:00:18]  Who's better prepared for small ball than Patrick Paul Kawhi?
[01:00:27]  Yeah.
[01:00:27]  You could put Kawhi at like the five.
[01:00:29]  That's what I'm going to say.
[01:00:29]  They're going to put Paul George 6'9.
[01:00:34]  6'10, maybe?
[01:00:35]  Like, if you need to play him at Power Ford, that's light work.
[01:00:39]  He doesn't like it, but if you need to, that's light work.
[01:00:42]  And then imagine trying to run pick and roll where Paul George is now guarding your point guard.
[01:00:46]  Oh, my gosh.
[01:00:47]  What do you do?
[01:00:48]  There's nothing.
[01:00:49]  That team goes nine deep, probably.
[01:00:52]  The savviest signing now to me, I mean, this trade is obviously amazing for the Clippers, but holding on to Beverly looks so fucking smart now.
[01:01:00]  And I wonder if Beverly knew, because I heard, I know the Mavs wanted him.
[01:01:04]  I think they bungled that, but also somebody offered him 50 and he said no, apparently.
[01:01:08]  Oh, so he chose to stay for less.
[01:01:10]  For less.
[01:01:10]  Because he knew what they were trying to call him.
[01:01:12]  Maybe.
[01:01:12]  Or he had faith.
[01:01:13]  And I don't know.
[01:01:14]  And now you Andrew genuinely does know people in the league more than anybody I've met.
[01:01:21]  Have you heard anything about, is it true that Kawhi was actively recruiting Paul George to the Clippers?
[01:01:27]  Because that's what we're reading.
[01:01:28]  100%.
[01:01:28]  So did he know he wanted to go there from the jump?
[01:01:30]  No.
[01:01:31]  But he knew he wanted to play with Paul George.
[01:01:33]  Okay.
[01:01:33]  So that's the difference.
[01:01:34]  He knew he wanted to play with Paul George, specifically Paul George.
[01:01:37]  Story is he reached out to Katie first.
[01:01:39]  KD said no.
[01:01:40]  Then he hit up Paul George.
[01:01:41]  I can't confirm that because I don't know.
[01:01:43]  I only know about the Paul George thing.
[01:01:45]  But I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to do that with KD, but then KD bust the leg.
[01:01:50]  But he apparently still reached out to him and was willing to wait the year to say, yo, I think as soon as free agency opened, apparently, I think this is a story I read.
[01:01:57]  He called KD and he's like, look, I think we would go really well together.
[01:02:00]  KD was flattered, but he was like, no, I'm going to go to Brooklyn.
[01:02:03]  But he was impressed with Kawhi and kind of flattered he reached out.
[01:02:06]  That's the thing, man.
[01:02:07]  We underestimate Kawhi.
[01:02:08]  Kawhi has an uncanny understanding of the game.
[01:02:11]  I think we confuse quiet people with dumb people or quiet people with like unaware.
[01:02:17]  And he's kind of hanging open.
[01:02:19]  Yeah.
[01:02:19]  He looked a little dumb.
[01:02:21]  He's got a dumb look.
[01:02:22]  Yeah.
[01:02:23]  But he's not dumb.
[01:02:24]  No.
[01:02:25]  Yeah.
[01:02:25]  He's got some Kaiser Sose to him.
[01:02:27]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:02:27]  Right?
[01:02:27]  Like, he really knows what's happening, and he's letting everybody think that he has no clue.
[01:02:32]  Which makes him the smartest guy in the room.
[01:02:33]  In the fucking room.
[01:02:34]  The smartest guy in the room is the guy who's okay with everybody thinking he's dumb.
[01:02:37]  Yeah.
[01:02:38]  What were you saying, Kess?
[01:02:39]  No, I was saying, like, this past year, we've come to the conclusion that he's the most self-aware guy in the league.
[01:02:45]  Like, he's not, he's very aware of the fucking, the ad rollouts.
[01:02:50]  Even that's the new balance shit.
[01:02:52]  Like, just going with Times New Roman font, like the most general, most basic shit.
[01:02:56]  Like, he knows what you're all fucking thinking about him.
[01:02:59]  And he leaned into it more.
[01:03:01]  Love it.
[01:03:02]  And he doesn't care.
[01:03:03]  And he doesn't give a fuck.
[01:03:04]  The end of the rap.
[01:03:05]  This is the hardest laugh and shit before he loves it.
[01:03:07]  Every one of us gets one one.
[01:03:09]  Andrew, much more than us.
[01:03:10]  Explain this.
[01:03:11]  I get one one-thousandth of the notifications that Kawhi gets.
[01:03:14]  But any of us know the negative one always sticks out to you.
[01:03:17]  Sure.
[01:03:17]  Kawhi doesn't care.
[01:03:18]  Negative, positive, whatever.
[01:03:20]  He is working.
[01:03:21]  You say what you want.
[01:03:22]  He hears it.
[01:03:23]  He doesn't care.
[01:03:24]  He's going to do what he needs to do.
[01:03:26]  And that is a fucking superpower.
[01:03:27]  It is.
[01:03:28]  It is so much so.
[01:03:29]  It is like there is, in marketing, there's nothing more valuable than not giving a fuck about the end product.
[01:03:36]  And he's in a unique and interesting situation where he makes the majority of his money through this contract.
[01:03:42]  He is 160 mil, whatever the four years it is, right?
[01:03:45]  Coming at him.
[01:03:46]  So anything New Balance pays him gravy.
[01:03:50]  It's gravy.
[01:03:50]  It means nothing.
[01:03:52]  So he could basically go, all right, run with this kind of like off-kilter campaign and see if it works.
[01:03:58]  He's not one of these guys going, well, if this fucks up, it fucks up my narrative.
[01:04:01]  In my image, my narrative is the word.
[01:04:04]  And remember how Russ said, I'm blessed with the ability to not give a fuck?
[01:04:07]  Not as much as Kyrie.
[01:04:09]  Kyrie, true, sorry, Kawhi.
[01:04:11]  Kawhi.
[01:04:11]  Kawhi truly doesn't give a fuck.
[01:04:15]  Boardman gets paid.
[01:04:16]  They're saying that.
[01:04:17]  It's apathy.
[01:04:18]  It's not like he's going, I'm going to choose to not give a fuck.
[01:04:21]  He truly gives it a fucking fucking thing.
[01:04:22]  That's not even in the past.
[01:04:23]  That's a difference.
[01:04:24]  I think he gives a fuck.
[01:04:25]  He just knows how to approach it better than people that say, I don't give a fuck.
[01:04:29]  I think he doesn't care.
[01:04:30]  I think he doesn't even care.
[01:04:32]  I think he hears it.
[01:04:32]  He's like, oh.
[01:04:34]  He hears it.
[01:04:34]  He's aware of it.
[01:04:36]  I think when you say I don't give a fuck, it means you got to react to it.
[01:04:38]  Just because you care about something doesn't mean you got to react to it.
[01:04:40]  No, he has no emotional apathy.
[01:04:42]  He's completely apathetic to all these things outside the game.
[01:04:45]  You know what's the best part about all this?
[01:04:46]  Winning at finals MVP.
[01:04:48]  Like, he was completely apathetic about this trophy.
[01:04:50]  He's like Kyle Holden.
[01:04:52]  I don't care about that.
[01:04:53]  Where's the Larry L OB?
[01:04:55]  Larry OB is all you care about.
[01:04:56]  The best part about this whole shit is that everybody who outed themselves thinking they knew what Kawhi was thinking throughout this entire thing, but nobody knows what he's ever thinking.
[01:05:06]  Even the people that are super close to him.
[01:05:08]  Nobody knew.
[01:05:09]  Nobody had a fucking clue.
[01:05:11]  True.
[01:05:11]  I fell asleep during the fucking Earthquake Summer League game, and I woke up to that shit.
[01:05:15]  I thought I was fucking dreaming.
[01:05:16]  I'm like, this isn't real.
[01:05:17]  I'm like, what?
[01:05:18]  You know, bruh.
[01:05:21]  That wasn't the time.
[01:05:22]  Every one of us made predictions.
[01:05:24]  Andrew said, I'll bet anything he said, he stays.
[01:05:26]  Kaz and I both said Lakers.
[01:05:28]  I didn't hear a single person say Clippers.
[01:05:30]  Chris Carter said, anybody says the Lakers have a lead over Clippers or Raptors is wrong.
[01:05:35]  That's as close as anyone got to predicting it.
[01:05:37]  God bless.
[01:05:38]  He fucking did it.
[01:05:39]  No, he fucking did it.
[01:05:40]  They're going to win it all next year, man.
[01:05:42]  There's definitely a chance.
[01:05:43]  There's definitely a chance.
[01:05:44]  Now we got to look at what happens with OKC and what happens with Russell Westbrook.
[01:05:50]  Clearly, Russell has talked to them and said he wants a trade.
[01:05:55]  I think there's three teams.
[01:05:56]  It's Detroit, Miami, and the Rockets that I've heard.
[01:06:00]  Okay.
[01:06:00]  Knicks have also been thrown out there.
[01:06:02]  I don't think the Knicks.
[01:06:03]  I don't think they physically can't do it.
[01:06:05]  Not with those contracts that they just signed.
[01:06:07]  So here's the thing.
[01:06:08]  Unless they just void all the contracts they just...
[01:06:09]  And also Miami was thrown out there.
[01:06:11]  Yeah, Miami was thrown out there too.
[01:06:12]  So here's the thing, right?
[01:06:13]  When you have a player like when you have a player like Russell Westbrook, Russell Westbrook is on the wrong side of.
[01:06:21]  He's 31 now or 30?
[01:06:23]  Right.
[01:06:23]  So he's on the wrong side of his career, right?
[01:06:24]  He's coming down, right?
[01:06:25]  He's no longer in the space where you're signing him based on potential and what could be.
[01:06:30]  He is who he is.
[01:06:31]  He is who he is, and it's probably either going to stay here or get worse.
[01:06:35]  Right?
[01:06:36]  Now, tricky thing.
[01:06:38]  You've tried to build around him with Kevin Durant.
[01:06:41]  Didn't work out.
[01:06:42]  You tried to build around him with Paul George.
[01:06:44]  Didn't work out.
[01:06:45]  You tried to build around him, honestly, with like a young Hardin, and they made the decision not to work that out.
[01:06:51]  To be fair, Hardin wasn't there yet.
[01:06:52]  And he wasn't here, but that's fair.
[01:06:53]  But you've given him the best players in the league to try to build something with.
[01:06:57]  Couldn't do it.
[01:06:58]  Couldn't make Mellow better.
[01:06:59]  Nobody can, but still.
[01:07:02]  You know that he's not able to make these other players better enough to where you can win.
[01:07:08]  You also know that he's not willing to change his game.
[01:07:11]  No.
[01:07:12]  So what teams will end up signing a guy like that?
[01:07:17]  What often happens to a player of this caliber, right, who we all know is unbelievably gifted, but not willing to change his game.
[01:07:24]  The smart teams in the league won't touch him because they know that he's proven he cannot win and he cannot change.
[01:07:32]  So what happens is the second and third tier teams or the teams with incompetent ownership grab at it.
[01:07:38]  The Kings, the Suns.
[01:07:40]  Because they need something to put them over the top.
[01:07:41]  The Magic, right?
[01:07:43]  They have no attention from marquee athletes.
[01:07:45]  So anytime they get a chance, they go, okay, just give it.
[01:07:47]  We'll figure it out.
[01:07:48]  And they probably don't have a shot to win it anyway.
[01:07:49]  So we might as well just take the risk.
[01:07:51]  100%.
[01:07:52]  The Knicks, unfortunately, and they should not be in this conversation, but are also involved.
[01:07:57]  And people often go, like, you know, why would the Knicks do this?
[01:08:00]  Why would they invest in this player that is proven to not win, right?
[01:08:03]  And he's on the wrong side of, you know, his career, this, that, the other.
[01:08:06]  And it's like, well, this is what the Knicks have done, right?
[01:08:09]  This is how you show, this is how you show the incompetence of the Knicks over time.
[01:08:12]  They did it with Stepho Marbury.
[01:08:13]  They did it with Steve Francis.
[01:08:15]  And they definitely will be engaged in conversations to do with Russell Westbrook.
[01:08:19]  I think you do the conversations.
[01:08:20]  I don't think you, the mistake there is mortgaging your future and tying up your cap room with players that are on the other side of their career.
[01:08:30]  A great coach.
[01:08:31]  Which I don't think they'll do.
[01:08:32]  Couldn't agree more.
[01:08:32]  The one thing I do have for, because I'm a Russell Westbrook stand.
[01:08:35]  I've always rode for this dude.
[01:08:37]  We love him as a person.
[01:08:37]  I love him as a player.
[01:08:38]  We love his personality.
[01:08:40]  I think the best thing going for him is that the super team era died.
[01:08:46]  Okay.
[01:08:46]  And now most of these teams are two-player teams.
[01:08:51]  And I think you still got to, I still like my chances if Russell Westbrook is one of my best players in the league that is buried with two players, two-star player teams now.
[01:09:02]  You know, so I don't think you got to remember a lot of times Russell Westbrook was going against the Warriors, going against the Rockets, going against the Blazers this year.
[01:09:09]  But, you know, they hit a crazy shot, but the series was over by then anyway.
[01:09:13]  Like, they were going against the first Miami Heat team when they got to the finals, the first Heatles team.
[01:09:19]  Like, now you're at a point where the decks are a little bit more even throughout the league, right?
[01:09:25]  If I'm Miami, I take that shot right now.
[01:09:28]  I take that shot with Jimmy Butler.
[01:09:30]  I give my trust in Pat Riley and Spolstra, Spolster, who has managed bigger personalities than you before and won.
[01:09:37]  So you're saying Miami, go to Miami.
[01:09:38]  I think he goes to Miami.
[01:09:39]  I think Miami is a good one.
[01:09:40]  That'd be a fun team, man.
[01:09:41]  Him and Jimmy Butler, it's just going to be fun.
[01:09:43]  I would love to.
[01:09:44]  I don't know if they're going to win shit, but it's going to be fun.
[01:09:47]  It's dogs, man.
[01:09:49]  Butler, Westbrook, and Riley would automatically be my favorite non-Knicks team, like tomorrow.
[01:09:54]  And Riley historically has done well with guards.
[01:09:57]  Of course.
[01:09:58]  Talented.
[01:09:59]  I can't think of a more Pat Riley player in today's game.
[01:10:02]  Yeah, they all got a lot of money.
[01:10:03]  Really, Westbrook and Jimmy Butler.
[01:10:04]  Those are two guys, like ferocious competitors.
[01:10:07]  Fiery, like passionate.
[01:10:09]  And that's how he played.
[01:10:10]  That's how Riley teams have always played.
[01:10:12]  That's how the Knicks were relevant.
[01:10:14]  Also, Riley is a no-nonsense culture guy, meaning like Riley will tell LeBron you're not welcome here.
[01:10:21]  So if Russ is there thinking he's going to do Russ, he's going to get a rude awakening.
[01:10:26]  I don't think Russ will do that.
[01:10:27]  Jimmy is there thinking he's going to be Jimmy and do whatever the fuck he wants during practice and yell at people, et cetera.
[01:10:33]  That ain't going to fly here.
[01:10:34]  You can pull that shit with Sam Presty and Billy Donovan.
[01:10:37]  You can pull that shit with Pat Harden.
[01:10:39]  Who the fuck was in the Sixers?
[01:10:41]  Brett Brown.
[01:10:42]  You can do it with that.
[01:10:42]  Pat Riley's one of the NBA godfathers.
[01:10:44]  He's not doing that to him.
[01:10:45]  He got the rings.
[01:10:46]  He got the rings.
[01:10:47]  As simple as that, he got the rings.
[01:10:49]  None of them have rings.
[01:10:50]  You're not going to talk to me that way.
[01:10:52]  He's not a fucking godfather, bro.
[01:10:53]  There's a handful of motherfuckers in the NBA that you just not fuck with.
[01:10:57]  Miami's the only team that I think he could go to and actually have something successful happen.
[01:11:04]  And I think it's because him and Jimmy are so oblivious to social dynamics that it might work out.

=== NBA Godfathers Lie (06:23) ===

[01:11:11]  Like, I think certain players they crumble when they're in the presence of that.
[01:11:16]  Like a Jason Tatum, right?
[01:11:18]  He crumbled in the presence of Kyrie.
[01:11:21]  Kyrie bullied him, and then you just saw his confidence evaporate.
[01:11:24]  Right?
[01:11:24]  Jimmy's confidence is so otherworldly and unaffected by the outside world.
[01:11:31]  You know, it's like Larry David Escalmo.
[01:11:33]  It's just like, I just feel this way, so I'm going to be this way.
[01:11:36]  And I feel like Russell is the same way.
[01:11:38]  Like, he'll just dress stupid and not care.
[01:11:41]  And I think when you put both of them together, they can yell at each other during practice, and then after practice, be like, hey, that was good practice.
[01:11:47]  That's how it does.
[01:11:47]  That's what everybody says about him.
[01:11:48]  Yes.
[01:11:48]  That's what everybody says about it.
[01:11:49]  Them two together, they will, I think they'll understand each other on like a spiritual level.
[01:11:53]  That's it.
[01:11:53]  Yo, this is how we talk.
[01:11:55]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:11:56]  Fuck, you guys making a big deal about it?
[01:11:57]  Idiots?
[01:11:57]  Fuck you.
[01:11:57]  Let's have a slap box.
[01:11:58]  All right, we're done.
[01:11:59]  Like, yeah, this is.
[01:12:02]  The more I think about it, that's what I'm saying.
[01:12:04]  The more I think about it, like, you know, some chemical experiments don't work just because the one piece is all for like that city with that owner and that president of basketball operations and those two players.
[01:12:16]  I don't think they win it, but it'd be fun.
[01:12:18]  No, Here's my thing.
[01:12:19]  Here's my thing.
[01:12:21]  I give them a shot.
[01:12:22]  I give him a shot out the East.
[01:12:24]  Who out the East is that dominant?
[01:12:26]  I just worry because I've always done this with Russell Westbrook teams.
[01:12:28]  I give him a shot.
[01:12:30]  But here's the thing: like, they've never been teams.
[01:12:33]  But you know what?
[01:12:33]  They got the bad seed out of there.
[01:12:35]  What was the guy's name?
[01:12:36]  Tall White Side.
[01:12:37]  Yeah, Whiteside.
[01:12:38]  They got Whiteside out of there.
[01:12:40]  Retard.
[01:12:41]  James Butler would have fought him for sure.
[01:12:44]  Him and Westbrook would have jumped him.
[01:12:45]  You got Myers and Leonard, who I like.
[01:12:47]  Right.
[01:12:47]  So you got a tall white boy that does exactly what you tell him.
[01:12:50]  You got an obedient dog.
[01:12:51]  Right?
[01:12:51]  And whatever you tell Myers, he's going to do it.
[01:12:53]  And you got a couple dog whisperers.
[01:12:54]  And you got a couple of dogs.
[01:12:55]  You got a couple of Caesar Milans.
[01:12:57]  Yeah.
[01:12:57]  Hey.
[01:13:00]  Essentially, you need your Stephen Adams, right?
[01:13:03]  You need your Bulldogs to handle that kind of shit.
[01:13:05]  You let Myers do all that nonsense.
[01:13:07]  And then all you got to do, really, is put shooters around them.
[01:13:10]  I'm trying to think who else is going to be able to do that.
[01:13:11]  I think they got Drojic.
[01:13:12]  No, Drojic's a free agent.
[01:13:13]  They're Drodger's free agent.
[01:13:14]  They got rid of Rick Shots.
[01:13:15]  No, they're trying to.
[01:13:16]  He has one year left on his contract.
[01:13:17]  That was the Mavs trade.
[01:13:18]  They tried to move him and it all fell apart right now.
[01:13:20]  Right.
[01:13:20]  They got Johnson still.
[01:13:21]  To get Russ, they would have to move him and probably want to do other contracts.
[01:13:27]  They take an expiring for that.
[01:13:28]  Oh, yeah.
[01:13:29]  Yeah.
[01:13:30]  You could fill up some.
[01:13:30]  There's still some decent free agents out there you could fill up that team with if you got Russell and Butler.
[01:13:35]  I like it.
[01:13:36]  I like it.
[01:13:36]  I like them.
[01:13:37]  Literally, that's the only situation I like for Russell.
[01:13:40]  Yo.
[01:13:41]  It would be great down in Miami.
[01:13:43]  You know, it'd be fucking great.
[01:13:44]  It's a shame that he already signed to the Pelicans.
[01:13:47]  But JJ.
[01:13:48]  JJ Reddick.
[01:13:50]  He would have loved it.
[01:13:51]  He would have loved those chips.
[01:13:53]  I think he had this fellow, Jimmy Butler.
[01:13:54]  I was like, I'm going to go.
[01:13:56]  I don't think JJ cares, right?
[01:13:58]  Because JJ is so singular in what he does.
[01:14:01]  He's such a professional.
[01:14:02]  That's it.
[01:14:03]  I'm going to go out there.
[01:14:04]  I'm going to give you.
[01:14:04]  I'm going to hit these threes.
[01:14:05]  That's a gym rats.
[01:14:06]  That's it.
[01:14:07]  And I think Butler has to respect it.
[01:14:09]  It's like, I don't expect you to carry the team.
[01:14:12]  I just expect you to hit these threes.
[01:14:13]  So I'm not upset.
[01:14:15]  It is what it is.
[01:14:17]  So, real quick, I would have, I think this is dope.
[01:14:20]  I would have loved to see Kawhi stay with the Raptors.
[01:14:23]  And I also, I want to see teams defend the title.
[01:14:25]  And maybe I'm a fucking idiot, but I think Kyrie in the playoffs next year would have been really cool to see.
[01:14:31]  Sorry, fucking Kyle Lowry.
[01:14:33]  I keep saying Kyle Lowry.
[01:14:34]  I don't know why I keep saying Kyrie.
[01:14:36]  Kyle Lowry coming off the monkey off his back of actually winning in the playoffs.
[01:14:41]  Yes.
[01:14:41]  Think would be really free.
[01:14:43]  You know what's funny if they went back.
[01:14:44]  And I don't think Kawhi would have to carry the load if he stayed with the Raptors.
[01:14:47]  If Kawhi stayed with the Raptors, Kyle playing with a different level of confidence.
[01:14:51]  Different level of confidence.
[01:14:51]  Isn't Damar DeRozan a free agent after this year?
[01:14:53]  He might be.
[01:14:55]  I think he has a lot of years left.
[01:14:56]  Him and Lamar Carter.
[01:14:57]  No, I think go back to Toronto.
[01:14:59]  That'd be so sad.
[01:14:59]  Go back to Toronto, bro.
[01:15:00]  Oh, that'd be so good.
[01:15:01]  Go back.
[01:15:02]  Well, the Raptors have.
[01:15:03]  It's Carter.
[01:15:03]  Get the fucking farewell to him.
[01:15:05]  The Raptors next season.
[01:15:06]  The girl cheats on you with Brad Pitt.
[01:15:08]  Brad Pitt leaves your girl and then you go back to your girl.
[01:15:10]  You pathetic motherfucker.
[01:15:12]  That's sad.
[01:15:13]  Just kept your girl's pussy warm for a year.
[01:15:17]  Took it to a new level, really.
[01:15:19]  Hit it way better.
[01:15:20]  Way better.
[01:15:20]  Coming all over the place.
[01:15:21]  Way better.
[01:15:22]  Buying her jewelry.
[01:15:24]  The Raptors have.
[01:15:25]  Did this go full rebuild?
[01:15:27]  Because they got Gasol $25 million off the books at the end of the year.
[01:15:30]  Lowry $33 million off the books at the end of the year.
[01:15:32]  So two things.
[01:15:34]  I think that there's the rebuild possibility after this year, and then this year they wait a little bit as the deadline approaches and see who wants to get out of their situation.
[01:15:42]  So if there's a certain player, let's say the fucking Celtics aren't playing up to the par and they're trying to make a move, or let's say even Philadelphia is trying to make a move.
[01:15:50]  Let's say something happens.
[01:15:51]  I think that they're good enough in the East.
[01:15:53]  Because again, I think the East is in disarray.
[01:15:55]  I think they're good enough in the East to still be competitive.
[01:15:57]  You know, there's like a low seed.
[01:16:00]  Yeah, very low, but you'd be at the bottom.
[01:16:02]  You could go seven or eight or something like that.
[01:16:04]  Don't get me wrong.
[01:16:05]  Kawhi is a beast, but they still have good players on that team.
[01:16:08]  You can have to get away with it.
[01:16:09]  They're going to have a great year.
[01:16:10]  Mark will have to deliver a little bit.
[01:16:13]  And Obi, I think, is done.
[01:16:14]  He'll be coming off injury.
[01:16:16]  He'll have his opportunity to lost minutes.
[01:16:20]  Can I ask you another question?
[01:16:22]  Is Sam Presti a good GM or not?
[01:16:25]  I can't figure this shit out.
[01:16:26]  He is.
[01:16:26]  It's amazing what they've been able to do in OKC, dude.
[01:16:31]  He's a good GM in a shitty fucking market.
[01:16:36]  Winning championships is hard.
[01:16:38]  Is it just one bad move that fucked him completely, and that was trading James Harden?
[01:16:42]  It wasn't even that that's that bad a move because they still made it to the finals.
[01:16:46]  They went to the Western Conference finals.
[01:16:48]  They never made their finals out there.
[01:16:49]  They started Western Conference finals.
[01:16:50]  And then he won the league.
[01:16:52]  He just happened to be.
[01:16:53]  That's like saying this.
[01:16:54]  Let's say Jordan never went away, right?
[01:16:57]  That's like saying, was Hakeem Elajwan that good?
[01:17:01]  Hakeem didn't win a single fucking ring.
[01:17:04]  This team, though.
[01:17:06]  With MJ being in the league.
[01:17:08]  Yeah, but the difference I think is he traded, he had the Warriors.
[01:17:13]  I mean, the ball movement is different and all that, but talent-wise, that was a super team that you got on your own.
[01:17:19]  Three MVPs at this point.
[01:17:21]  And that's the difference between Steph and Russ: Steph can operate in a super team and Russ can't.
[01:17:28]  Well, once you traded Harden, it was what you have now with the two stars.

=== Jorge Masvidal Fight (10:28) ===

[01:17:34]  That's my thing, though.
[01:17:36]  I hear you on that.
[01:17:37]  My whole shit is like, I don't think Harden becomes Harden if he stays in OKC.
[01:17:41]  Like, I think he's so dominant with the ball.
[01:17:44]  He dribbles so many.
[01:17:45]  Like, there's no way you're doing that shit with Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook.
[01:17:48]  You know what he was with the Thunder?
[01:17:49]  A good defender.
[01:17:50]  Yeah.
[01:17:51]  Yeah, that's what he's doing.
[01:17:52]  He was a fucking amazing sixman.
[01:17:54]  Because he could have come off the bench.
[01:17:55]  He was coming limited minutes.
[01:17:57]  He had his mission.
[01:17:58]  He could shoot wherever the fuck he wanted to, and he had to just play lockup defense.
[01:18:02]  That's what he did.
[01:18:02]  One more year I would have liked to see that team.
[01:18:04]  That's what he did.
[01:18:04]  But I think Hardin.
[01:18:06]  We talked about this a couple weeks ago.
[01:18:07]  The margins between winning a championship and never winning a championship are so fucking thin.
[01:18:11]  Yeah.
[01:18:11]  So very hard.
[01:18:12]  So it's like, I can't take all.
[01:18:14]  I can't take all.
[01:18:15]  Let's knock out one more thing before we go to the second half of the episode because we're already going pretty deep.
[01:18:22]  Okay.
[01:18:24]  I think that we should, unless there's something big basketball-wise.
[01:18:29]  No, what do the Lakers do, Summer League, the earthquake?
[01:18:32]  I think we talk about these fights.
[01:18:34]  Did you guys see the fights this weekend?
[01:18:37]  No.
[01:18:37]  Okay.
[01:18:38]  Yeah, hood Jesus.
[01:18:40]  Shout out to Jorge Masvedal, right?
[01:18:42]  Roll after this.
[01:18:42]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:18:43]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[01:18:44]  So, after, so shout out to Jorge Masvedal.
[01:18:46]  Jorge Masvedal is a journeyman MMA fighter who some of you guys might have watched, like I did, in backyard fights with Kimbo Smith.
[01:18:54]  My slice came through in the same way.
[01:18:55]  I remember watching Jorge in fucking jean shorts, beating the shit out of people in backyards of Miami.
[01:19:01]  Okay, really?
[01:19:02]  And then he goes and fights in the UFC and other, you know, MMA bodies or whatever they're called.
[01:19:10]  Bellator, Strike Force, these types of things.
[01:19:13]  Mass is a good career, but a bunch of losses as well, some unfortunate ones.
[01:19:17]  Gets the shot to fight this guy named Darren Till on a big card in London.
[01:19:21]  Knocks out Darren Till.
[01:19:23]  Oh, yeah.
[01:19:24]  Darren lost to Tyron Woolley before that.
[01:19:26]  Then he goes up against this guy named Ben Askren.
[01:19:29]  Now, Ben Askrin was 19-0, undefeated.
[01:19:32]  He was in one championship in Bellator.
[01:19:34]  He's a strictly wrestling guy, and he was an amazing troll.
[01:19:39]  And he would really hype up his fights via trolling and like talking shit about his opponents.
[01:19:44]  And he just won every single fight in dominant fashion until this last one.
[01:19:51]  And he engages in this big troll fest with Jorge Masvedal.
[01:19:55]  And it really gets under Jorge's skin.
[01:19:56]  Jorge is upset.
[01:19:57]  He starts to talk crazy shit back.
[01:19:59]  He's like, I want to end Ben Askren's bloodline.
[01:20:02]  I want to punish him so much.
[01:20:05]  I want to destroy him.
[01:20:06]  I'm going to make him quit this sport.
[01:20:07]  I'm going to go.
[01:20:08]  I mean, it is like visceral.
[01:20:10]  What I'm saying.
[01:20:12]  And the fight starts, and Jorge Masvedal is smiling.
[01:20:17]  He's hanging out on the cage.
[01:20:19]  And when they say fight, he takes a step to his right and then charges at Ben Askren and does a flying knee and knocks him out in five seconds.
[01:20:30]  Now.
[01:20:31]  Tiger knee.
[01:20:31]  Yeah, flying knee and split.
[01:20:33]  Made famous by Sagats for.
[01:20:36]  So what I find so fascinating about this is that every UFC fight I've ever seen starts with sportsmanship.
[01:20:45]  It starts with a punching or slapping of hands in the middle of the ring and then you begin.
[01:20:50]  But Ben Askrin pissed off Jorge so much that he didn't want to slap hands.
[01:20:56]  And because they didn't slap hands, he was able to get a running start into the knee and then ends up knocking him out.
[01:21:03]  So the shit that Askrin was talking before the fight cost him to fight.
[01:21:10]  All that trolling.
[01:21:12]  If he was just like, hey, I can't wait to fight you.
[01:21:14]  Good looking.
[01:21:14]  Let's do it.
[01:21:15]  He would have won because Askrin, the thing about him, his wrestling background is superior to everybody.
[01:21:19]  So the second he gets a hold of you, he just holds you down, keeps you down.
[01:21:22]  But Mazvidal was so fucking upset.
[01:21:24]  Do we have a clip of it?
[01:21:26]  I want you guys to watch this.
[01:21:27]  That's what he was going.
[01:21:28]  He was going for a takedown.
[01:21:30]  Pause real quick.
[01:21:30]  Pause real quick.
[01:21:31]  So the goal of any, what a wrestler does is they do what's called shoot.
[01:21:39]  Shoot the leg.
[01:21:39]  Yeah.
[01:21:40]  Shoot, shoot means pause.
[01:21:42]  So what shoot means is you go for the legs, you grab the legs, and you try to put somebody on his back.
[01:21:47]  That is the natural instinct.
[01:21:49]  Much similar to like a boxer.
[01:21:51]  When you're put out of your comfort zone, you go to your most natural instinct, right?
[01:21:54]  So let's say your background is boxing, right?
[01:21:56]  And I push you in your chest, immediately you're going to throw your hands up.
[01:22:00]  Right?
[01:22:00]  If you're someone who's into like jiu-jitsu or some shit, you might try to grab my wrists.
[01:22:04]  So when you present a stimulus that's different than normal, you go into what you're most comfortable doing, which is shooting for a wrestler.
[01:22:12]  Now, watch what happens.
[01:22:14]  This is unfucking real.
[01:22:17]  I mean, and fight one step to the side.
[01:22:21]  One step.
[01:22:21]  Boom!
[01:22:22]  Night nights!
[01:22:23]  Stiff as a board.
[01:22:24]  Night nights!
[01:22:25]  Stiff as a fucking board.
[01:22:26]  Look at his legs.
[01:22:27]  Holy shit.
[01:22:28]  Now look at this guy, dude.
[01:22:30]  Oh, this is unreal.
[01:22:31]  As soon as he went down to try and shoot, bam!
[01:22:34]  Right?
[01:22:35]  So when he sees him, charge at him.
[01:22:36]  Now, what you're supposed to do when someone does a jump a flying knee at you, I was asking some of the guys at the kickboxing gym.
[01:22:41]  He goes, you're supposed to either create distance with your hand and step back or step to one of the sides.
[01:22:46]  But since he's put out of his comfort zone, he goes to his most natural instinct, which is shoot down for the team.
[01:22:52]  Woo!
[01:22:52]  Woo!
[01:22:53]  Boom!
[01:22:55]  Night, night, booty, hold tight.
[01:22:57]  Oh, my God.
[01:22:59]  Fastest knockout in UFC history.
[01:23:00]  So they interviewed him like a few minutes before we went to tape.
[01:23:04]  And he doesn't remember the ring, doesn't remember the fight, doesn't remember anything.
[01:23:08]  Yeah, it's over.
[01:23:09]  Doesn't remember shit.
[01:23:10]  Wait, do they have that?
[01:23:11]  Where is that?
[01:23:12]  I think they interview just went up literally like on the way here.
[01:23:14]  I was reading it.
[01:23:15]  Funny tweet from him after he lost.
[01:23:16]  He just said, That sucked.
[01:23:18]  Can you find the interview of him right afterwards?
[01:23:20]  He was basically saying, I don't think it was after the interview because I think they rushed him to the hospital, but they just talked to him today.
[01:23:25]  It's Monday.
[01:23:27]  And yeah, he doesn't remember anything from that night.
[01:23:30]  What was he saying to us?
[01:23:30]  Doesn't remember getting to the ring, doesn't remember the fight, doesn't remember getting knocked out, doesn't remember shit, doesn't remember waking up in the hospital.
[01:23:35]  Holy shit.
[01:23:37]  What did he say that was so offensive to Jorge?
[01:23:40]  It was more like, I'm not exactly sure.
[01:23:43]  I'll be honest.
[01:23:44]  And it wasn't like Conor McGregor-esque, I don't think, where he was like insulting religion or that kind of stuff.
[01:23:49]  I think it was more just trolling him in general.
[01:23:52]  I'm not exactly sure.
[01:23:52]  I saw one of the trolls where he was like, oh, why are you mad?
[01:23:55]  You mad.
[01:23:56]  All the reporters are asking you why you mad.
[01:23:58]  Like, you know, when you tell somebody how they're feeling, that shit gets underneath their skin.
[01:24:03]  But he had such a badass fucking line at the press conference.
[01:24:06]  What is it?
[01:24:07]  This dude.
[01:24:07]  And he was just talking about, you know, everybody loves hyping up fights and talking shit.
[01:24:11]  But, you know, now people are going to see when you run into a real motherfucker.
[01:24:15]  Like, you know, maybe you'll watch your mouth.
[01:24:18]  And, you know, I don't.
[01:24:19]  He's like, I've had a lot of fights in my career.
[01:24:21]  And, you know, I respect most of my fighters, but this is the one guy I don't like.
[01:24:25]  So, like, he's going to have to deal with me even after this.
[01:24:27]  He's like, if I see him in Whole Foods, I'm going to have to slap some shit.
[01:24:31]  Not in the streets.
[01:24:32]  Not if I see him in ringing.
[01:24:34]  If I see you in Whole Foods, I got to come and slap you around.
[01:24:38]  Like, that's real.
[01:24:40]  Where is he from, Masvidal?
[01:24:41]  Miami.
[01:24:42]  Miami, yeah.
[01:24:42]  What's his nationality?
[01:24:43]  Cuban, okay.
[01:24:44]  So that's a safe bet.
[01:24:47]  Do you see the look on his face before?
[01:24:49]  Yeah.
[01:24:49]  I don't think I've seen anybody.
[01:24:50]  This guy's over 50 professional fights.
[01:24:52]  Oh, he takes a step to the beginning.
[01:24:54]  He takes a step to the side like he's about to holler at a girl.
[01:24:57]  Look at his face right here.
[01:24:58]  I don't think I've seen anybody more comfortable prior to a fight than this guy.
[01:25:02]  Look at his face.
[01:25:03]  Look how he steps to the side like he's about to talk to a girl.
[01:25:05]  Sonny's leaning in the middle of the game.
[01:25:06]  He's in black.
[01:25:08]  Leaning against the cage.
[01:25:09]  Hands behind his back.
[01:25:11]  This guy is built for us.
[01:25:13]  His Instagram, I think, and Twitter is game bred.
[01:25:16]  Like he was bred by this game, but it's so true.
[01:25:19]  Like, what an amazing thing to have this level of comfort when you're low.
[01:25:28]  Now, my God.
[01:25:30]  The tweet comes out from Dustin Poirier.
[01:25:31]  What were you saying, Alex?
[01:25:32]  No, just for those watching on YouTube, sorry, we can't show the replay because they'll take down our video.
[01:25:37]  Right, right.
[01:25:38]  So for Dustin Poirier, who is the USC champ, right?
[01:25:41]  He's going to fight Khabib.
[01:25:43]  Dustin tweets after the fight.
[01:25:44]  He goes, last night, Masvidal told me at dinner that they'd been working on the flying knee and that they were going to use the flying knee when they started the fight.
[01:25:54]  He goes, Mike Brown, who's the coach of Mazville, told me last night at dinner that they were working.
[01:26:00]  He was going to start this fight with a flying knee and showed me video on Mike's phone of him practicing.
[01:26:05]  And then that video eventually came out.
[01:26:06]  So this was all by design and it's shocking.
[01:26:10]  Oh man, look at that.
[01:26:11]  That is just fucking shit.
[01:26:12]  And then he tweeted a screenshot.
[01:26:13]  Oh, there it is.
[01:26:14]  Here's the video.
[01:26:15]  This is the day before.
[01:26:16]  Or two days.
[01:26:17]  Step to the side.
[01:26:18]  Boom!
[01:26:21]  Wow.
[01:26:22]  Call this shot.
[01:26:23]  That's some babe room shit.
[01:26:24]  Even the steps.
[01:26:25]  Even the steps are still on the side.
[01:26:25]  Even the side everything.
[01:26:27]  That is fucking dope.
[01:26:29]  You got to respect that.
[01:26:30]  Oh, 100%.
[01:26:32]  And I bet you, I bet you the reason he stepped to that side is because he knows that Askarin shoots left.
[01:26:41]  Ah, right?
[01:26:42]  Because you shoot to one side, one or the other.
[01:26:45]  He probably shoots left because he wants to get you on his right shoulder.
[01:26:48]  Yeah.
[01:26:48]  So he steps to the right, knowing it's going to be on that side.
[01:26:53]  Do we have that video of Askarin talking?
[01:26:56]  No.
[01:26:58]  Damn.
[01:26:59]  Gaz, can you find that video of Askar?
[01:27:00]  Yeah, I'll find it.
[01:27:02]  So I got to see that.
[01:27:03]  Just fucking unreal, man.
[01:27:06]  That whole card was fucking unreal, dude.
[01:27:08]  Like, I mean, the John Jones fight was incredible.
[01:27:12]  The guy that John Jones is fighting, they don't know what the injury was.
[01:27:16]  Maybe they know what it was now, but his knee was popping out the entire fight.
[01:27:19]  Yeah, that shit was sick.
[01:27:20]  And he won the fight on one of the scorecards.
[01:27:22]  Wow.
[01:27:22]  Dude, it was unreal.
[01:27:24]  He'd throw a kick.
[01:27:25]  You'd see the knee slide out of place, slide back, and he kept throwing it.
[01:27:30]  Like, you saw he was like wobbly a lot of the fight.
[01:27:33]  Like, that's crazy.
[01:27:34]  So, son, John can't really talk shit after this.
[01:27:37]  Nothing.
[01:27:38]  You got to put some respect on my man's name.
[01:27:40]  Chiago Santos was his name.
[01:27:42]  The girl fight, Holly Holm versus Amanda Noons.
[01:27:45]  Yeah.
[01:27:46]  Amanda Noons kicks her in the face, knocks her out.
[01:27:49]  Right.
[01:27:50]  It was, I mean, like, you don't see chicks having power, bro.
[01:27:54]  Usually the thing with chick fights is it's just tons of like contact, but they don't have any power, so they can't finish anybody.
[01:27:59]  Right.
[01:27:59]  This bitch finishes chicks like dude.
[01:28:01]  I mean, we still don't see chicks having power.

=== Raycon Earbud Promo (05:26) ===

[01:28:03]  Say what?
[01:28:04]  We still don't see chicks having power.
[01:28:05]  You see Nunes?
[01:28:07]  Son, Noones has knocked people out.
[01:28:08]  One hitter quickly.
[01:28:09]  Oh, Nunez is the goat.
[01:28:11]  That's a dude.
[01:28:17]  Right.
[01:28:17]  So we got to check that clip.
[01:28:20]  We need to, you know, she's the goat, though.
[01:28:22]  That's her performance in his forever.
[01:28:23]  She's a good one.
[01:28:24]  Cyborg.
[01:28:24]  I don't know.
[01:28:26]  Nuda's better than Cyborg, bro.
[01:28:27]  Cyborg, a dude, bro.
[01:28:28]  That was a scary bitch.
[01:28:30]  That's a crazy one.
[01:28:31]  Scary bitch.
[01:28:32]  It was fucking unreal, man.
[01:28:33]  Like, what an amazing night of fights.
[01:28:36]  And I'm a boxing guy who's reluctant to let UFC take over.
[01:28:41]  But you got to give it a break.
[01:28:44]  I think there's a part of you that likes like, you know, you like the sweet science.
[01:28:47]  And I think you're starting to get into the sweet science of mixed martial arts as well.
[01:28:51]  Yeah.
[01:28:51]  So that's probably what's, you know, it's not just brutal fucking human cock fighting.
[01:28:57]  There's a science to it.
[01:28:58]  There's a sign to a science to the boxing.
[01:28:59]  I mean, and this shit was, it was a great night of fights, dude.
[01:29:02]  Yeah, I gotta, I gotta give credit where credit was due.
[01:29:05]  Look, before we get into this Sylvia Sage porn interview, I just want to let you guys know, Toronto, this weekend, July 13th, first show sold out.
[01:29:19]  Second show is a few seats left.
[01:29:22]  Maybe by the time this is out, it might be sold out.
[01:29:24]  Who knows?
[01:29:25]  Is this weekend?
[01:29:26]  This weekend, Toronto.
[01:29:28]  Pull the fuck up.
[01:29:29]  It's going to be crazy, man.
[01:29:30]  Thank y'all so much for selling out the first show.
[01:29:32]  And hopefully we get the second one sold out.
[01:29:34]  But go, you know, spread the word, tell the friends.
[01:29:37]  Also, we got a Montreal.
[01:29:38]  I'm going to be there.
[01:29:39]  I'm going to be doing the nasty show for the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival.
[01:29:42]  But I also got two of my own shows I'm going to be hosting.
[01:29:45]  We got the Inside Jokes live show, which is going to be amazing.
[01:29:47]  That's on the 25th.
[01:29:48]  And then we got Unsafe Sets, where I'm just going to have comics to do their wildest jokes.
[01:29:52]  We're taking everybody's phone, all that kind of shit.
[01:29:54]  Turn it off so you can really let loose.
[01:29:56]  That's going to be the 27th.
[01:29:58]  Let's sell both those out.
[01:29:59]  If you're from Montreal, spread the word, asshole army.
[01:30:01]  I want y'all in there.
[01:30:02]  Then we got Washington, D.C., Chicago, Thalia Hall, man.
[01:30:06]  Y'all sold it out.
[01:30:07]  So if you guys want us to add another show, let us know, man.
[01:30:09]  But that's going to be amazing.
[01:30:11]  Then we got Russia in Australia.
[01:30:13]  More dates being added.
[01:30:14]  DeAndreScholes.com, Matt Ador Tor.
[01:30:16]  Thank y'all so much for being a part of this, man.
[01:30:18]  Really means a lot.
[01:30:19]  And if you all want that fashion merch, we're selling a fashion merch before the show in Toronto.
[01:30:24]  Remember, before the show, go get there early because there's too many people for us to do it only after.
[01:30:29]  So, you know, we only bring a limited number of them shirts.
[01:30:32]  Go get them shits early.
[01:30:34]  Kaz, what you got?
[01:30:35]  Yeah, this Saturday, I'll be in Augusta, Georgia, getting back in my color commentary bag.
[01:30:40]  I'll be commentating the Nike Peach Jam in Augusta, Georgia for the Nike EYBL.
[01:30:46]  Some of the top players going to Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky, NC State, all those guys will be there.
[01:30:52]  And you might have seen me post a picture outside WWE studios today.
[01:30:56]  So I can't talk about what's in the future, but what I can talk about is this Sunday, I will be on the WWE watch along with my guy Pat McAfee, former Indianapolis Colts Punter.
[01:31:06]  We'll be doing the watch along of Extreme Rules in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and a bunch of WWE guys.
[01:31:11]  And there'll be a lot more stuff coming down the pipe.
[01:31:16]  But yeah, check that out.
[01:31:17]  Check me out on SNY tomorrow.
[01:31:19]  Well, today, Wednesday and Thursday.
[01:31:21]  And yeah.
[01:31:23]  Dates, we're still working on ticket links.
[01:31:25]  They're being a little slow with the venues.
[01:31:27]  But for now, September 6th, Secret Group in Houston.
[01:31:30]  September 13th, Piano Fight in San Francisco.
[01:31:33]  September 19th, the comedy store in LA.
[01:31:36]  And tentatively, September 7th in Austin.
[01:31:38]  Two shows in each city.
[01:31:39]  So come through.
[01:31:40]  We're going to let you know, hit you with the ticket links as soon as it's live.
[01:31:42]  Got him.
[01:31:43]  Got him.
[01:31:44]  All right, guys.
[01:31:44]  So without further ado, let me just say that this second half of the episode, well, and the first, but also the second half specifically with our porn star bestie Sylvia Sage is brought to you by Raycon.
[01:31:57]  Okay.
[01:31:57]  It's 2019.
[01:31:58]  Everybody needs a great pair of wireless earbuds so you could watch Sylvia Sage's porn while you're on the subway.
[01:32:04]  Okay.
[01:32:05]  You can't have that shit blasting out of your regular phone unless you're an animal.
[01:32:11]  If there's a headphones that's perfect for porn.
[01:32:15]  It's got to be Ray J's.
[01:32:17]  Raycon earbuds started out half the price of any other premium wireless earbuds on the internet, okay?
[01:32:24]  On the market in general.
[01:32:25]  And they sound just as amazing.
[01:32:27]  I have some.
[01:32:27]  It's what I wear.
[01:32:29]  All right.
[01:32:29]  The company was actually co-founded by Ray J, and celebrities like Snoop Dogg are already obsessed.
[01:32:34]  Raycon's E50 wireless earbuds have totally changed the game.
[01:32:38]  For me, anybody who has lost a bunch of, and I'm not going to mention the competitors, but y'all already fucking know, I've lost so many of these other competitors.
[01:32:46]  I go with my Raycon earbuds.
[01:32:48]  They're not falling out every second, okay?
[01:32:50]  They fit snug.
[01:32:51]  You can actually do activities in them.
[01:32:53]  You can even work out in them, and the quality is undeniable.
[01:32:57]  All right.
[01:32:57]  So this is what you do.
[01:32:58]  Okay.
[01:32:59]  This is what you do.
[01:33:00]  Raycon offers the wireless earbuds for everyone, a range of fun colors, unbeatable prices.
[01:33:04]  You go to buyraycon.com slash flagrant two to get 20% off your order.
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[01:33:12]  20% off your Raycon wireless earbuds.
[01:33:16]  Now, if you've been eyeing a pair, it's time to go get them shits.
[01:33:19]  You're already getting them discounted.
[01:33:21]  They're already cheaper and you get another 20% off.
[01:33:23]  What are you waiting for?
[01:33:24]  Buyraycon.com slash flagrant two.
[01:33:26]  Now, y'all ready to get flagrant?
[01:33:28]  Let's get flagrant.
[01:33:28]  Let's get flagrant.

=== Stripper Supply Desperation (14:44) ===

[01:33:30]  Without further ado, I present to you part two of this episode with our illustrious pornographic princess, Sylvia Sage.
[01:33:38]  Keep it tight.
[01:33:39]  We have a very special guest today, and our special guest is here with us.
[01:33:43]  Some of you guys know her from the internets.
[01:33:46]  Some of you guys know her maybe from a comedy club as well.
[01:33:51]  We have Renaissance Woman.
[01:33:55]  It's a good title.
[01:33:56]  Good title.
[01:33:57]  Sylvia Sage.
[01:33:58]  I'll take it.
[01:33:59]  Welcome.
[01:34:00]  Porn Star Extraordinaire and stand-up comedian.
[01:34:06]  Thank you.
[01:34:08]  You and I know each other from Nashville.
[01:34:10]  We do, yeah.
[01:34:11]  You showed up to my show with your friends.
[01:34:14]  Trying to get time.
[01:34:15]  Trying to get time.
[01:34:16]  How long, like five minutes?
[01:34:18]  I didn't know.
[01:34:18]  I was like, fuck it.
[01:34:19]  Let's just go to the club.
[01:34:20]  Can I cut us?
[01:34:21]  Yeah, And I thought, yeah, I'll go and try to get time.
[01:34:27]  And then they were like, the headliner's already on, but you can go watch him.
[01:34:30]  I'm like, yeah, we don't got nothing else to do.
[01:34:31]  Right, exactly.
[01:34:32]  See that?
[01:34:33]  We don't have anything else to do.
[01:34:34]  Then they came up afterwards.
[01:34:35]  But now look at you, though.
[01:34:36]  You're at a better platform.
[01:34:38]  You're all freaking too.
[01:34:39]  No, he killed the show.
[01:34:41]  I mean, I was rolling the whole time.
[01:34:43]  Thank you.
[01:34:43]  I will tell you, getting to hear stand-up comedy like that where you destroy the room, it just makes me be a better comic.
[01:34:49]  And I had a better set that night because of watching you.
[01:34:52]  So you were performing that night in a strip club.
[01:34:54]  In a strip club.
[01:34:55]  And we're going to get to all this.
[01:34:56]  And you have another friend who I follow on Instagram now.
[01:34:59]  What is her name?
[01:34:59]  Lila Hart.
[01:35:00]  Lila Hart.
[01:35:01]  Yeah.
[01:35:01]  And she has like Spine M. Bifida or something.
[01:35:03]  I know Bifida.
[01:35:04]  She's a stand-up from LA.
[01:35:05]  She's a stand-up in LA.
[01:35:06]  Yeah.
[01:35:06]  Right.
[01:35:07]  So both of them.
[01:35:08]  She was opening for you at these strip club joints.
[01:35:11]  Yeah, deja vu.
[01:35:12]  Deja vu.
[01:35:13]  Yeah.
[01:35:13]  We had a pretty wild time at deja.
[01:35:15]  Yeah, it was great.
[01:35:15]  Until we had to fly out.
[01:35:16]  It sucked.
[01:35:17]  You guys had to fly.
[01:35:18]  It was all in.
[01:35:18]  Nashville's a crazy city.
[01:35:19]  Yeah, we were just talking about this.
[01:35:20]  I'm like, I really need to go.
[01:35:22]  I've never been.
[01:35:23]  Absolutely absurd.
[01:35:24]  Okay, so you guys come to the show.
[01:35:27]  You're trying to get time.
[01:35:29]  Right.
[01:35:29]  I thought you guys were trying to get laid.
[01:35:30]  I'm going to be honest with you.
[01:35:32]  I swear to God.
[01:35:33]  You wait in the line to see me after the show.
[01:35:35]  I'm about to say, like, that's usually how that story goes.
[01:35:38]  You were hype?
[01:35:38]  Usually.
[01:35:39]  Hey, we should hang out.
[01:35:41]  Do you know what I mean?
[01:35:42]  I'm thinking, okay, you guys have some weird, like, midget, normal person thing.
[01:35:47]  Because Lila's a midget, right?
[01:35:49]  And I was like, what is going on here?
[01:35:51]  What is happening?
[01:35:52]  This is different.
[01:35:53]  You know what I mean?
[01:35:54]  Then I look on your Instagram because I think you sent me a message on Instagram.
[01:35:58]  And I'm like, oh, shit, she does porn.
[01:36:00]  This is going to be super wild.
[01:36:03]  You say you have a comedy show later that night where you're also stripping.
[01:36:07]  Yes.
[01:36:08]  Nude, down to nothing.
[01:36:10]  That's what nude is.
[01:36:11]  Yeah.
[01:36:12]  I've heard.
[01:36:13]  Yeah.
[01:36:14]  You're doing stand-up butt-naked?
[01:36:17]  No.
[01:36:18]  I did stand-up first.
[01:36:19]  I did 20 minutes of stand-up, and then I had to do two dances, like two feature dances.
[01:36:25]  I had never done anything like that before, and I will never again.
[01:36:28]  I am not a stripper.
[01:36:29]  I have white girl moves all day long.
[01:36:32]  It's so embarrassing.
[01:36:33]  This is actually kind of groundbreaking.
[01:36:36]  Who wouldn't pay for that, though?
[01:36:39]  You wouldn't?
[01:36:39]  No, I'll show up for the stripping.
[01:36:40]  I'm not going to.
[01:36:42]  I like my stand-up.
[01:36:44]  And I like my stripping.
[01:36:45]  I'm going to be able to get completely separate.
[01:36:46]  You should be.
[01:36:47]  But there's ways that both of that could work, no?
[01:36:50]  Like, because if the stand-up is terrible, at least you get to see her naked at the end of the day.
[01:36:53]  But you don't want to dance at that point.
[01:36:55]  Did you have to dance after bombing in front of people?
[01:36:58]  Well, I didn't bomb, but I would have had to dance if I bombed.
[01:37:01]  Yeah, the comedy actually went well the second night.
[01:37:04]  The first night, not so well.
[01:37:06]  They had never done anything like this before.
[01:37:08]  So their microphones were crap.
[01:37:09]  Like, the audience couldn't even hear us.
[01:37:11]  So they're literally staring at us, like, why aren't you taking off your clothes?
[01:37:15]  I think when you finish the joke, are guys handing you dollars?
[01:37:20]  I mean, they definitely guys were tipping me while I was doing stand-up, which was weird.
[01:37:25]  Yeah.
[01:37:25]  Yeah.
[01:37:26]  And then, of course, the more money came when you take off your clothes, obviously.
[01:37:30]  Right, obviously, because that's what we're here for.
[01:37:32]  I just don't know the tipping structure for comedy.
[01:37:34]  I feel weird after shows when people try to like throw me 20 bucks.
[01:37:37]  People try to tip you after a comedy show.
[01:37:38]  Yeah, it's just their way of being like, hey, I really enjoyed this.
[01:37:41]  I need to let you know that I enjoyed it.
[01:37:43]  And I always do that.
[01:37:43]  But do you sell merch?
[01:37:45]  We do.
[01:37:45]  Okay, so buy your merch.
[01:37:47]  Then we sell it to fetch.
[01:37:47]  We call it fashion.
[01:37:48]  We call it fashion.
[01:37:50]  Yeah, they could do that.
[01:37:50]  Sometimes it's just a sometimes it's people, they feel like you give them a lot of value in their life.
[01:37:57]  Right.
[01:37:57]  I know, I get that.
[01:37:58]  You get that.
[01:37:58]  So they just want to help you out in whatever way you want.
[01:38:01]  I mean, this happens all the time with porn stars.
[01:38:03]  Yeah.
[01:38:03]  Do you know?
[01:38:04]  We have to make like wish lists.
[01:38:05]  I have to update a wish list every single week.
[01:38:07]  Because people are just buying you shit like Amazon or something.
[01:38:10]  Yeah.
[01:38:10]  Oh, okay.
[01:38:11]  Really?
[01:38:12]  It's crazy.
[01:38:13]  Okay.
[01:38:13]  So you have a wish list.
[01:38:14]  You have a public wish list?
[01:38:15]  Yeah.
[01:38:16]  And they just put like an Instagram bio or something and they just buy it out.
[01:38:20]  It's on my Twitter and on my Instagram.
[01:38:22]  There's a link to it.
[01:38:23]  What's the craziest thing that you've been bought?
[01:38:25]  Oh my gosh.
[01:38:27]  Well, how big are we talking?
[01:38:28]  I mean, my bedroom.
[01:38:29]  My bedroom furniture, my trip to Australia was purchased.
[01:38:32]  I've done a trip to Mexico that was purchased.
[01:38:34]  Question.
[01:38:35]  Do you have to...
[01:38:36]  My couch?
[01:38:37]  Do you have to fuck for these purchases?
[01:38:40]  No, not for these purchases.
[01:38:41]  They're just doing it.
[01:38:42]  You're not for these purchases.
[01:38:44]  You get these.
[01:38:48]  Cuffet Arlington.
[01:38:49]  Should I be late?
[01:38:50]  Not buffet at Arling.
[01:38:51]  So you go in and you have, and you have a situation where guys don't want anything in return.
[01:38:57]  Yeah.
[01:38:57]  But they're just buying you furniture.
[01:39:00]  Yeah.
[01:39:00]  That is another level of insecurity.
[01:39:03]  Like, imagine not even feeling like you deserve to fuck someone who does have sex for money.
[01:39:11]  Right.
[01:39:12]  Right.
[01:39:12]  I need to meet these guys.
[01:39:13]  How are they still alive when suicide is an option?
[01:39:17]  Oh, my God.
[01:39:17]  That level.
[01:39:18]  Oh, I got dark round.
[01:39:20]  I'm just saying that.
[01:39:21]  Don't kill yourself, guys.
[01:39:22]  I know you need furniture, but like, oh, here are the wiggles right here.
[01:39:25]  Yeah, there it is.
[01:39:26]  Oh, my God.
[01:39:27]  Okay, let's see the picture.
[01:39:28]  You got a globe?
[01:39:29]  Yeah, I like that.
[01:39:29]  I don't have a way to see what's going on.
[01:39:31]  Let's stop this.
[01:39:32]  Let's stop this.
[01:39:32]  Stop right now.
[01:39:34]  The top of your wish list.
[01:39:36]  I got to update shit all the time.
[01:39:38]  I know, because this is horrible.
[01:39:40]  To me, because I like to travel.
[01:39:42]  Yeah, you don't get to travel with the globe.
[01:39:45]  Yeah, but I get to know all the places I'm going.
[01:39:47]  I have like Kansas education over here.
[01:39:51]  You could Google all these places.
[01:39:53]  It's beautiful.
[01:39:55]  It's pretty to put.
[01:39:55]  It's a decoration.
[01:39:57]  No, that should not be the top of the list.
[01:39:58]  If you see my house, you know what it's all about.
[01:40:01]  You got more than shit that makes you seem like nothing.
[01:40:03]  But it's my feet.
[01:40:04]  So this is Warella Women Sexy Lingerie.
[01:40:07]  You want lingerie.
[01:40:08]  Of course.
[01:40:09]  Always.
[01:40:09]  Why?
[01:40:10]  Because I have to have new laundry every single movie I do.
[01:40:13]  People will notice if you're a bad person.
[01:40:14]  You have to bring your own wardrobe to the movies?
[01:40:18]  Definitely your own bra and panties.
[01:40:20]  Only a few companies supply bra and panties.
[01:40:22]  Most of the companies will supply, like, if you're going to be a doctor that day, they'll supply that or whatever.
[01:40:27]  Do you even show that?
[01:40:29]  They don't expect the porn stars to bring their own doctors out there.
[01:40:33]  Right.
[01:40:35]  I love my smock.
[01:40:39]  I want my smock and my stethoscope at home.
[01:40:41]  I'm sorry, guys.
[01:40:42]  Look at me at my glade plugins.
[01:40:44]  I'll just get my glade plugins.
[01:40:46]  With me to work today.
[01:40:47]  Oh, this is insane.
[01:40:49]  Okay.
[01:40:49]  Aren't the glade plugins?
[01:40:50]  You can buy yourself plugins, Sonny.
[01:40:52]  Yeah, but why would I if somebody else will?
[01:40:54]  Because he'll buy you something better.
[01:40:56]  Well, they've already bought it.
[01:40:57]  It gives them little things to go for.
[01:40:59]  You know what this reminds me of?
[01:41:00]  Air purifiers.
[01:41:02]  Why?
[01:41:03]  Because I have two cats.
[01:41:05]  You got an air purifier.
[01:41:06]  Yeah, I like clean air.
[01:41:07]  Yeah, I'm about to make one of these eat.
[01:41:09]  Nobody likes it.
[01:41:10]  Anybody buy that?
[01:41:11]  You don't even know.
[01:41:13]  I broke a bowl the other day, so I need new bowls.
[01:41:15]  So what happens in life?
[01:41:17]  Like, this is currently.
[01:41:20]  You know what this is?
[01:41:21]  I'm curious.
[01:41:21]  Hold on.
[01:41:22]  What happens in life when you realize that you can just put the things you need on a public site?
[01:41:28]  Yeah.
[01:41:28]  Right.
[01:41:28]  And then guys will just buy them for you.
[01:41:30]  Yeah.
[01:41:31]  And then you hear like women talking about how hard it is to be a woman.
[01:41:35]  I never say that.
[01:41:36]  I always say my life is.
[01:41:38]  You better be.
[01:41:41]  Are you kidding me?
[01:41:42]  I bought an old man in the bar a drink last night and he wasn't, we weren't even talking.
[01:41:46]  He was just this old dude that reminded me of my dad and I could tell he had a hard life and nobody was really talking to him.
[01:41:52]  And I was like, I told the bartender, I said, don't tell him who it is.
[01:41:55]  Just I'm going to buy, I'm going to buy his drink because no one probably ever buys his drinks and people mine my drinks all the time.
[01:42:02]  So like, let me return it to this old man.
[01:42:05]  Now, you, you, this is what I find interesting.
[01:42:09]  You entered porn late.
[01:42:11]  At 30.
[01:42:12]  30 years old.
[01:42:13]  Yeah.
[01:42:14]  Do you mind sharing your age right now?
[01:42:16]  35.
[01:42:16]  No, shit.
[01:42:17]  35 years old.
[01:42:18]  You enter porn at 30.
[01:42:19]  Yeah.
[01:42:20]  Before porn, you're doing.
[01:42:22]  I worked in medicine.
[01:42:23]  I worked in hospitals.
[01:42:24]  So you actually did have some scrums.
[01:42:29]  That's why she doesn't need the scrum.
[01:42:31]  She needs a loan direct.
[01:42:32]  She's just a nerdy doctor with no cute paintings.
[01:42:35]  It's like medical sales.
[01:42:36]  No, so I did.
[01:42:38]  I had my degree as an x-ray tech.
[01:42:40]  So I worked in like cardiology and I did stress testing and EKGs and that kind of stuff.
[01:42:45]  Sonned.
[01:42:47]  This is a real one.
[01:42:47]  I'm done.
[01:42:48]  She's a low.
[01:42:51]  Bye, Lisa.
[01:42:53]  You don't get the degree for this Indian.
[01:42:57]  So like, what university did you go to?
[01:43:00]  Like, where did you go?
[01:43:00]  Oh, I didn't go to a university.
[01:43:02]  I got kicked out of the first college I went to.
[01:43:04]  And then I get kicked out of a lot of places.
[01:43:06]  I feel like.
[01:43:07]  And then I went to a technical college and got my two-year degree.
[01:43:11]  So that's why it's an X-ray tech.
[01:43:12]  And that's just like a small question.
[01:43:14]  Okay, so we're back here.
[01:43:18]  You have this regular job.
[01:43:20]  You're making good money.
[01:43:22]  I was making like $70,000 a year.
[01:43:24]  Okay, which is pretty good money.
[01:43:25]  First of all, for a woman, that's very good money.
[01:43:27]  You're a woman.
[01:43:28]  You're an attractive woman.
[01:43:30]  You're in where?
[01:43:30]  Los Angeles?
[01:43:31]  No, I was living in Kansas City.
[01:43:33]  That's a millionaire.
[01:43:33]  Oh, you're a Kansas City millionaire.
[01:43:36]  You work in Lansing.
[01:43:37]  Okay, so you live in Middle America.
[01:43:40]  $70,000 a year in Kansas City, right?
[01:43:43]  Which is very good money.
[01:43:44]  That's like making $200,000 a year in New York, probably.
[01:43:46]  For the Austin American type shit, right?
[01:43:48]  Okay, you can live a phenomenal life.
[01:43:50]  You're not pushed into pornography for desperation.
[01:43:53]  Now, were you good at fucking before you got in?
[01:43:56]  I was slutty.
[01:43:58]  Meaning you would sleep around.
[01:44:00]  Yeah.
[01:44:00]  Okay.
[01:44:01]  You would sleep around.
[01:44:02]  Now, would you get offers?
[01:44:05]  Would you get offers for like sex for money?
[01:44:07]  No, because I don't think I was presenting it that way.
[01:44:11]  Life is all about how you all sorts of doctors.
[01:44:14]  Right, right, right.
[01:44:15]  So like what was it?
[01:44:16]  I'm still fucking all sorts of doctors.
[01:44:18]  So what was I want to do?
[01:44:19]  Yours is a light bulb moment when you're like doing the x-ray tech and you're just like, you know what?
[01:44:23]  No, I actually left for comedy.
[01:44:25]  So I started doing comedy at 28.
[01:44:28]  So I left medical school.
[01:44:29]  And then you go to LA to do comedy.
[01:44:31]  And while you're in LA, are you still doing medical stuff or no?
[01:44:34]  No.
[01:44:34]  How are you surviving in LA?
[01:44:35]  I was bartending and I got a job working at a construction company doing their books.
[01:44:40]  Okay, so you're doing construction company books.
[01:44:42]  You can make a living still.
[01:44:43]  You're surviving.
[01:44:44]  Barely.
[01:44:44]  Barely surviving.
[01:44:45]  Barely surviving.
[01:44:46]  Now desperation comes in.
[01:44:47]  Now the offer of...
[01:44:48]  But see, it wasn't desperation.
[01:44:50]  It was I had a girlfriend who was staying with me in LA and she was doing porn.
[01:44:55]  And it wasn't I wasn't desperate, but I saw her make 10 grand in a week and I was like, what the fuck is that?
[01:44:59]  This is bad.
[01:45:02]  No, but I thought if I did this, I could make just a few porns a month and then I could do all the stand-up I wanted.
[01:45:07]  You know, I could financially support myself to go do all these shows.
[01:45:12]  You know?
[01:45:12]  So that's how I felt.
[01:45:13]  So that's how I started.
[01:45:14]  Yeah, I felt also about like college gigs.
[01:45:16]  Like I would do like one college gig a month.
[01:45:18]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:45:19]  That's how I feel about it.
[01:45:20]  I'm like, it's just a way to fund my comedy career.
[01:45:22]  But then I kind of fell in love with porn and I love doing it.
[01:45:25]  The money is second to none.
[01:45:27]  I get to travel all over doing whatever the fuck I want whenever I want.
[01:45:31]  Okay.
[01:45:32]  So let's get back into this.
[01:45:33]  So you start doing the porn.
[01:45:35]  Do you feel insecure going in there?
[01:45:37]  Like these guys have had their dicks sucked by the best.
[01:45:39]  Am I one of the best?
[01:45:40]  I mean, I definitely felt insecure in the beginning just because I was a lot older than everybody.
[01:45:44]  Right.
[01:45:45]  And I wasn't as confident with my body as I am now.
[01:45:49]  So it's just, it was just a learning curve in the beginning.
[01:45:51]  Did you have fake titties before?
[01:45:53]  Oh, yeah.
[01:45:53]  I've had my boobs since I was 26.
[01:45:55]  Oh, so you, okay, so you were ready for it.
[01:45:56]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:45:57]  Okay, so you go in, first scene.
[01:46:00]  Do you think you do well?
[01:46:02]  Yes and no.
[01:46:02]  It was with my girlfriend that was already in porn.
[01:46:05]  Andrew would like to know the name of that first scene.
[01:46:08]  I haven't watched any of your work besides what you showed me in the club.
[01:46:11]  Oh, okay.
[01:46:11]  So when we're in the show, I didn't watch any work.
[01:46:13]  I was like, what do you know for your research?
[01:46:16]  And I was like, what are you known for?
[01:46:18]  Give me your best video.
[01:46:19]  Yeah, and it's my true incest.
[01:46:22]  True incest.
[01:46:23]  Well, it's not called true incest, but you're in porn, you have to do the stepmommy thing because it's what I saw.
[01:46:29]  I saw a lot of the stepmoms though.
[01:46:30]  Yeah, but I have one where it's my actual son.
[01:46:33]  Of course, I have no children, but that one, because I like play a drunk mom who's seducing her son, it's like her actual son.
[01:46:40]  Yeah, my actual son.
[01:46:41]  And it's like the highest rate film that I have.
[01:46:44]  Question.
[01:46:45]  People ask me about it all.
[01:46:46]  They say, you know, in acting that it's really about getting into the character.
[01:46:50]  Right.
[01:46:51]  And believing.
[01:46:51]  Oh, I can play a drunk woman real well.
[01:46:55]  Play a mom that sucks her son's dick.
[01:46:57]  I mean, I don't have a son, so sure, why not?
[01:46:59]  But did you have to embody that?
[01:47:01]  Are you like, what would my son's dick taste like?
[01:47:03]  Like, what would he like?
[01:47:05]  Yeah, I mean, I definitely had to sell the role of like, you know, this is just our secret.
[01:47:10]  Like, don't tell it.
[01:47:11]  So you have to actually act.
[01:47:12]  You got to like really be about the craft.
[01:47:14]  Yeah.
[01:47:15]  Right.
[01:47:15]  Now, do you say don't tell your dad?
[01:47:18]  Yeah.
[01:47:18]  Because your dad is still there.
[01:47:20]  Yeah.
[01:47:20]  Right.
[01:47:20]  Okay.
[01:47:21]  Now, when you're sucking your son's dick, like there's still part of you that wants to like raise him, right?
[01:47:26]  Like there's so part you want to like teach him how to get his chicken.
[01:47:28]  You're not raising your dick.
[01:47:29]  You want to rear your child.
[01:47:31]  You want to make sure that he's not getting his dick sucked like a pussy.
[01:47:34]  Like, so are you like telling him how to do it, where to put his hand on your head?
[01:47:38]  No, not really.
[01:47:39]  Yeah.
[01:47:40]  You just want to please your son.
[01:47:41]  Yeah.
[01:47:42]  Yeah.
[01:47:42]  Kind of.
[01:47:43]  It's like I say to him a lot, like, this is how, you know, mommy needs to feel nice.
[01:47:48]  Like, daddy doesn't pay any attention to me.
[01:47:50]  Like, daddy doesn't want me sucking.
[01:47:52]  That's so pretty.
[01:47:53]  Yeah.
[01:47:53]  What daddy is this?
[01:47:54]  Yeah, right.
[01:47:58]  Okay, so that scene is the biggest scene because people are fucking creeps, obviously.
[01:48:02]  Okay.
[01:48:02]  And you operate in this world where you probably interact with a lot more of them.
[01:48:05]  Yes.
[01:48:06]  Okay.
[01:48:06]  Now, specifics.
[01:48:08]  You're operating in this sexual deviance world.

=== Garoppolo Sex Expectations (05:34) ===

[01:48:14]  You're getting free things.
[01:48:16]  I'm sure there's offers for sex for money.
[01:48:19]  Right.
[01:48:19]  Now, we don't have to confirm that because that would be illegal and you would never do anything like that.
[01:48:23]  Right.
[01:48:23]  But does that exist and is it prevalent in the porn world?
[01:48:27]  It does exist.
[01:48:28]  What percentage of income do you think that makes up for most porn stars?
[01:48:33]  80.
[01:48:33]  80%?
[01:48:35]  God damn.
[01:48:36]  So 80%, let me clarify, 80% of income for most porn stars is not made from those porns.
[01:48:43]  That's almost advertising.
[01:48:44]  That's all about the sales at that point.
[01:48:46]  It's advertising for escorting, right?
[01:48:49]  High dollar.
[01:48:49]  High dollar escorting.
[01:48:51]  So these people that can afford these escorts.
[01:48:54]  How much money are we talking as far as like high dollars?
[01:48:56]  Not you, of course, but a hypothetical from things you've heard.
[01:48:59]  Bilvia Base.
[01:49:00]  It really is.
[01:49:00]  How much would she charge you?
[01:49:01]  I don't know who that is, but it depends on the girl.
[01:49:03]  It depends on the girl.
[01:49:04]  But nothing is going to happen for less than like $1,200.
[01:49:09]  So nothing meaning at $1,200 is where blowjobs start.
[01:49:13]  That's like the minimum.
[01:49:14]  And the minimum is blowjob or that's a minimum for us to interact.
[01:49:18]  And interact.
[01:49:19]  Okay, interact means fucking.
[01:49:21]  Yeah.
[01:49:21]  Means I come.
[01:49:23]  Yeah.
[01:49:23]  Okay.
[01:49:24]  So $1,200, I come.
[01:49:26]  Is there, what if it's, what is the most that it goes to?
[01:49:30]  What if like some like Dubai prince wants to shit on a team?
[01:49:32]  Yeah, I was going to say if you stay the night with somebody, it's going to cost you $10,000.
[01:49:35]  Wait, there are guys that pay for you to stay?
[01:49:38]  Jeez.
[01:49:38]  Hey.
[01:49:39]  I thought they paid for you to leave.
[01:49:40]  Take up some rabbit shit.
[01:49:42]  You're crazy.
[01:49:43]  Hold on.
[01:49:43]  So you have to cuddle with these guys?
[01:49:46]  I mean, it depends.
[01:49:48]  Depends if they're like crazy cokeheads and you're partying and they're doing their thing or whatever.
[01:49:54]  And this is all like within your jurisdiction, though.
[01:49:57]  If you don't feel comfortable, you can just dip, right?
[01:50:00]  Always.
[01:50:01]  Always.
[01:50:01]  You always have a final say.
[01:50:03]  Every woman always does in anything.
[01:50:05]  What were you saying?
[01:50:06]  Hypothetically, you're like, what's you, you've heard the weirdest thing that was paid for and how much?
[01:50:11]  Didn't have to be you.
[01:50:12]  Oh, no, guys.
[01:50:13]  Someone else.
[01:50:14]  Pay for you to shit on their chest.
[01:50:15]  They pay for you to walk on their balls with high heels.
[01:50:18]  You put them in the ball.
[01:50:20]  I need to go.
[01:50:20]  You know that you're going to shit on some guy's chest.
[01:50:23]  Yeah.
[01:50:23]  Now, is there a meal coat lay?
[01:50:27]  What are you doing that you want to make sure you have a lot of porn?
[01:50:30]  Yeah, I don't know.
[01:50:30]  I guess you'd have to ask the guy, you know, like what he's into.
[01:50:34]  You would never share a chest.
[01:50:35]  I would never.
[01:50:36]  I can't even poop in public, let alone.
[01:50:42]  Very intense.
[01:50:43]  Yeah, no, I don't want anyone around.
[01:50:45]  Yeah.
[01:50:45]  Okay, fair enough.
[01:50:46]  Okay.
[01:50:46]  So back to this.
[01:50:47]  80% of the income.
[01:50:48]  So the whole porn industry, this industry that we thought that so many porn stars were making money from these videos and these contracts with Vivid and all that kind of stuff, in reality, is advertising so they can do private escorting gigs.
[01:51:00]  And these go from anywhere from $1,200 for a night to $10,000.
[01:51:06]  Or more.
[01:51:06]  Or more.
[01:51:07]  $20,000?
[01:51:08]  Depending.
[01:51:08]  I don't know.
[01:51:09]  It depends on the girl.
[01:51:10]  So there are some girls that can charge up to $20,000.
[01:51:13]  Absolute fucking lootly.
[01:51:14]  Really?
[01:51:15]  If you try to get Stormy Daniels into a room for a night, you know what she's going to charge you?
[01:51:19]  Trump price.
[01:51:19]  Fucking $50,000.
[01:51:20]  Who I don't know.
[01:51:21]  And you think Stormy's still doing it?
[01:51:23]  I mean, I don't know.
[01:51:24]  I can't speak on her behalf.
[01:51:25]  But why wouldn't you?
[01:51:27]  Now you're back in demand, right?
[01:51:28]  Now it's like 100%.
[01:51:30]  Now, there are certain, there are certain, like, we had Lisa Ann here, and Lisa claims that she's never done that.
[01:51:36]  Some people don't.
[01:51:37]  Right.
[01:51:37]  Yeah.
[01:51:38]  So, all right.
[01:51:38]  So, so back to sports a little bit.
[01:51:40]  Jimmy Garoppolo last year.
[01:51:42]  Listen, I'll tie it up.
[01:51:43]  Cut his mic side.
[01:51:44]  Cut his mic somewhere.
[01:51:45]  Don't talk about you, asshole.
[01:51:47]  I got you.
[01:51:48]  Jimmy Garoppolo was dating an adult folks.
[01:51:52]  You don't let me finish, motherfucker.
[01:51:54]  Stay that shit.
[01:51:54]  Don't fucking say that.
[01:51:55]  Say that shit.
[01:51:56]  SMY.
[01:51:57]  Ain't nobody give a fuck who you are.
[01:51:59]  You're a shit.
[01:52:01]  Jesus.
[01:52:02]  What's the name of the adult film starter, Jimmy Garoppolo?
[01:52:04]  Was it a little bit of a 50-something?
[01:52:06]  I don't know.
[01:52:06]  It was fuck.
[01:52:08]  Anyway.
[01:52:08]  Retired porn starters.
[01:52:09]  They were like damn near dating.
[01:52:11]  Eden, please, you know.
[01:52:12]  You know, dating.
[01:52:13]  They went on one date.
[01:52:14]  They were damn near like together for a while, right?
[01:52:17]  So, like, for somebody who's making that much money.
[01:52:19]  Right.
[01:52:20]  Right.
[01:52:20]  We're talking about that level of person that like reaches out to people and it never comes out as far as like, you know, famous people that pay these people or there's just, you know, you're talking about like your doctors, your IRS guys, that type of shit.
[01:52:33]  I mean, I can't say that.
[01:52:35]  Definitely where you're at.
[01:52:36]  She's not on NDAs.
[01:52:37]  Yeah.
[01:52:38]  You got to know about these NDAs and how ironclad they are because I think Stormy Daniels is a fucking like she's Benedict Arnold of this entire service.
[01:52:46]  I agree with that.
[01:52:47]  I agree with that statement.
[01:52:48]  I think if you did sign an NDA, it's your point to shut up.
[01:52:51]  Gotcha.
[01:52:52]  And that's what you got paid for.
[01:52:53]  Can we get back to fucking and not talking about Garoppolo, please?
[01:52:56]  Yeah.
[01:52:57]  Fuck you.
[01:52:58]  All right.
[01:52:59]  So, okay.
[01:53:00]  So there's a situation.
[01:53:02]  I can't believe 80% of doing.
[01:53:03]  Now you say, some of these people say that they're not doing it.
[01:53:06]  Is it a chance that they're lying and that they actually really are?
[01:53:08]  I have no idea.
[01:53:09]  It's a lot of money to turn down.
[01:53:11]  Yeah.
[01:53:11]  Right.
[01:53:12]  It is a lot.
[01:53:12]  I don't know.
[01:53:13]  Yeah.
[01:53:13]  A lot of money.
[01:53:14]  Yeah.
[01:53:14]  We're talking about like hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.
[01:53:17]  Yeah.
[01:53:17]  For something that you're already doing and no one's going to see.
[01:53:19]  Do these people have the people that do it?
[01:53:22]  Not you, of course.
[01:53:22]  Right.
[01:53:23]  But do these people that do it have reoccurring clients or is it a just random thing you go get get a phone call or a DM?
[01:53:31]  Both.
[01:53:32]  Yeah.
[01:53:32]  Definitely both.
[01:53:33]  And I think it's up to anyone's personal preference what they're going to see and what they're not going to see.
[01:53:38]  You know?
[01:53:39]  Do you feel an expectation to deliver $1,200 worth of pussy?
[01:53:44]  I mean, if I were doing it, I would like to put on a show.
[01:53:48]  Yeah, I'm a show queen.

=== Married Men Masturbation (12:29) ===

[01:53:49]  I love being someone's fantasy.
[01:53:51]  Like, that's why I do porn.
[01:53:52]  That's why I'm so sold in doing porn.
[01:53:54]  Like, nothing makes me feel more powerful than knowing that like I'm keeping your attention.
[01:53:59]  Really?
[01:53:59]  Yeah.
[01:54:00]  Do you feel like, does it make you feel sad that I haven't jerked off to your porn?
[01:54:05]  Sometimes, yeah.
[01:54:06]  Sometimes when people tell me that and they're like, I've never looked up your stuff.
[01:54:09]  I'm like, oh, why?
[01:54:10]  You don't find me attractive?
[01:54:11]  Like that?
[01:54:12]  Really?
[01:54:12]  Yeah.
[01:54:13]  Like, I watch your shit.
[01:54:14]  I've watched your, I've scrolled through your videos.
[01:54:16]  Yeah, but did you jerk off to it is the question.
[01:54:19]  I don't have to masturbate.
[01:54:25]  Did you know?
[01:54:26]  That's a whole other technology.
[01:54:29]  I'm not going to say I haven't.
[01:54:31]  I'm not going to say I haven't.
[01:54:32]  You haven't popped into my mind when I'm masturbating.
[01:54:34]  Funny sexy.
[01:54:35]  Of course.
[01:54:36]  Yeah.
[01:54:36]  So maybe it was, maybe you were after Dick after that comedy.
[01:54:39]  I think you kind of owe her.
[01:54:40]  I owe her what?
[01:54:41]  Like, you have to go.
[01:54:42]  I have to jerk off it.
[01:54:43]  Yeah, at this point.
[01:54:44]  I'm not going to do it to the one where it's your son.
[01:54:46]  I think that's too weird.
[01:54:47]  You can pick another.
[01:54:47]  I'll pick another one.
[01:54:48]  Step son.
[01:54:49]  Yeah, it's a step I could do.
[01:54:50]  Step son is like, step, okay.
[01:54:54]  But one person doesn't just pop into my brain when I'm masturbating.
[01:54:57]  Like, multiple people would just pop.
[01:54:59]  It's a montage.
[01:54:59]  Yeah, it's a montage.
[01:55:01]  Right.
[01:55:01]  Well, you didn't have to take that away from me.
[01:55:02]  You could have just let everybody hang it.
[01:55:04]  There's a video of him.
[01:55:05]  He says, shit.
[01:55:06]  There's a video of him shirt and no shirt, no pants.
[01:55:09]  Oh, you want to find that?
[01:55:10]  I haven't found that one.
[01:55:11]  Oh, that's it.
[01:55:13]  That's a Patreon, I think.
[01:55:14]  It's a Patreon?
[01:55:14]  I don't think so.
[01:55:16]  The Premier Pete Episode?
[01:55:17]  Maybe not.
[01:55:19]  You know what I'm disappointed about with you, though, is that you haven't done a Netflix special.
[01:55:23]  Yeah.
[01:55:23]  Yeah.
[01:55:24]  Yeah, they don't fuck with me.
[01:55:25]  Why?
[01:55:26]  Well, you know, sometimes that's how you're talking about it.
[01:55:27]  Netflix fucks with me.
[01:55:28]  They should certainly fuck with me.
[01:55:29]  Did you do a Netflix?
[01:55:30]  I haven't done a Netflix special, but I'm going to do, I'm teaming up with Tommy Chong's people, and we got a project.
[01:55:36]  That's sick.
[01:55:36]  Yeah.
[01:55:37]  Congrats, stand-up.
[01:55:38]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:55:39]  I mean, I'm like a huge weed comic.
[01:55:41]  Okay.
[01:55:41]  So I'm in the weed scene real hard.
[01:55:44]  So it's, okay, this is part of it.
[01:55:45]  You make a lot of money off vices.
[01:55:47]  That's your shit.
[01:55:47]  Yeah.
[01:55:48]  Yeah.
[01:55:48]  You're the one who's a good person.
[01:55:49]  That's hard, though.
[01:55:52]  Everybody, get that.
[01:55:53]  I did comedy at a strip club and then got naked afterwards.
[01:55:56]  You think that I don't fucking like, I'll say yes to most things, you know?
[01:56:00]  What are your no's?
[01:56:03]  Yeah, that's a great question.
[01:56:06]  Whew.
[01:56:07]  I mean, no more flying frontier.
[01:56:10]  That's a big no for me.
[01:56:12]  Well, I could have told you.
[01:56:12]  You know how horrible an airline needs to be that a girl's willing to get shit on.
[01:56:19]  Not willing to fly it again.
[01:56:21]  This is the ride.
[01:56:22]  The new low for an airline.
[01:56:25]  Wow.
[01:56:26]  This is the ride she says no to.
[01:56:27]  Holy shit.
[01:56:28]  Wait, I didn't say I'd be shit on.
[01:56:30]  Pull that one off the table, too.
[01:56:31]  Yeah, I'm not into that.
[01:56:33]  No, I won't even do that.
[01:56:34]  You wouldn't shit on people?
[01:56:34]  No, shit, but that's because you're scared about it.
[01:56:36]  It's not because it's like below you.
[01:56:38]  It's just a little bit of a shit.
[01:56:39]  Physically, I could do it.
[01:56:40]  I wouldn't.
[01:56:40]  Yeah.
[01:56:41]  Okay.
[01:56:41]  So what is the no?
[01:56:42]  Anal?
[01:56:43]  No, I love anal.
[01:56:44]  Anal, you're fine with.
[01:56:45]  I think you did tell me that first night.
[01:56:47]  Yeah, you were really shooting your shot.
[01:56:49]  I was just missing that shit.
[01:56:50]  I'm just really honest in life.
[01:56:52]  That's all it is.
[01:56:52]  You're very oblivious.
[01:56:54]  I can't tell.
[01:56:54]  When a girl's trying to get me to fuck her in the ass, I can't tell at all.
[01:56:58]  I literally do not know.
[01:56:59]  Like, you were showing me videos of you getting fucked in the ass.
[01:57:01]  I was like, whoa, that's good skills.
[01:57:02]  You know what I mean?
[01:57:03]  You're really good at that.
[01:57:04]  We get fucked in the ass.
[01:57:08]  So anal, yes.
[01:57:09]  What about girls?
[01:57:11]  Obviously, yes.
[01:57:12]  Yeah.
[01:57:13]  You know what?
[01:57:13]  I hated girls.
[01:57:14]  But you're not really into girls.
[01:57:15]  Wait, that's why I will tell you yes and no.
[01:57:17]  I'm not.
[01:57:18]  I already know.
[01:57:19]  I wasn't in the beginning, but certain girls have changed my mind.
[01:57:22]  I don't believe it.
[01:57:23]  So now I'm with certain girls.
[01:57:24]  Elena Lopez is my number one, and she was so sexy.
[01:57:27]  And I'll fuck her.
[01:57:28]  Put her on the screen.
[01:57:29]  Oh, you won't.
[01:57:30]  You really like her?
[01:57:31]  I love her.
[01:57:32]  No, she has this amazing tongue.
[01:57:33]  She ate my pussy better than anyone.
[01:57:35]  Yes, she's been on Adam, Adam.
[01:57:37]  She's had that crazy long time.
[01:57:39]  Her joke.
[01:57:40]  Elena Lopez.
[01:57:40]  Dude, look at her tongue.
[01:57:41]  It's a fucking hot spot.
[01:57:43]  And she used to be a Mormon.
[01:57:44]  She's got two kids.
[01:57:46]  But you would never know.
[01:57:47]  Wait, she has two kids?
[01:57:48]  Yeah.
[01:57:48]  A Lopez Mormon?
[01:57:49]  They made it down there.
[01:57:50]  Oh, yeah.
[01:57:52]  They got Hawaiians, bro.
[01:57:54]  Hey, I don't know.
[01:57:54]  Mormons everywhere.
[01:57:55]  And she is super dirty, and it's really good.
[01:57:58]  When someone has a super long tongue like that, I don't have a long tongue.
[01:58:00]  I have a very short tongue.
[01:58:01]  Do you like the tongue to penetrate?
[01:58:04]  So it's that first photo right there.
[01:58:05]  Well, I guess on the top two.
[01:58:06]  Oh, this one right here?
[01:58:07]  Oh, she looked good.
[01:58:08]  No, but go to the tongue.
[01:58:09]  Just try to get her.
[01:58:10]  She's like 24.
[01:58:11]  I'm a first 30, but okay.
[01:58:13]  Damn.
[01:58:13]  Two kids at 24.
[01:58:15]  That's the most important thing.
[01:58:16]  Look at it.
[01:58:16]  Oh, yeah.
[01:58:16]  Look at it.
[01:58:18]  Dude, yeah, I get it, right?
[01:58:23]  Totally got it.
[01:58:23]  Is she penetrating with the tongue?
[01:58:26]  And you enjoy that so much.
[01:58:27]  So, and she was just she made such great eye contact, and I was just like, so into eye contact during the pussy eating?
[01:58:34]  Yeah, how do you even do that?
[01:58:36]  How could you not?
[01:58:37]  You just look down.
[01:58:38]  I'm not that big shit.
[01:58:40]  Oh, yeah.
[01:58:41]  She'd be having a conversation with you, and then she goes nearby.
[01:58:48]  Okay, so you have this lesbian experience with her, and she's so good at the act of sex, you find yourself sexually attracted to women now or to specifically specific women.
[01:59:01]  Yeah, because I've been into other scenes with other women, like, but I'm not, I don't go into a bar going, oh, I'm gonna pick up a chick.
[01:59:10]  Have you ever gone home with a girl from a bar?
[01:59:12]  No.
[01:59:12]  Do you still fuck guys that you meet?
[01:59:15]  Not really.
[01:59:16]  Not really.
[01:59:17]  Is that kind of kill it for you?
[01:59:18]  Honestly, it's just because I make income with my vagina, and so I don't want it to be sick in any way.
[01:59:25]  Yeah, and I can't trust the general public.
[01:59:28]  Yeah, I'm tested every two weeks by blood and urine.
[01:59:31]  You also told me that.
[01:59:32]  Yeah.
[01:59:33]  You were really trying to fuck.
[01:59:34]  You would tell me you're clean, showing me.
[01:59:38]  No, I have no clue.
[01:59:39]  She stopped sort of saying she jerked off to your morning.
[01:59:44]  Were you saying that you could come back to my apartment before she was in the middle of the day?
[01:59:48]  There was no chance.
[01:59:49]  I had to fly out of like midnight.
[01:59:50]  Yeah.
[01:59:51]  How oblivious are you?
[01:59:52]  I think he's so sorry.
[01:59:53]  I thought he picks it up before you do.
[01:59:55]  No, I'm back, bro.
[01:59:57]  I'm clinging to this one girls hit on me.
[01:59:58]  I'm really close.
[01:59:59]  Because I thought you were just a fan of my comedy.
[02:00:01]  I didn't know that you wanted dick.
[02:00:02]  I didn't even know your comedy until I saw it that night.
[02:00:04]  But then, of course, I am a fan now.
[02:00:06]  But I didn't know if you were one name.
[02:00:07]  I didn't want to dick y'all.
[02:00:09]  I mentioned your name.
[02:00:12]  I kind of feel like, I mean, you say you don't like fuck like regular guys anymore for like work.
[02:00:16]  Like, I think at this point, you guys kind of have to fuck now, right?
[02:00:20]  I mean, I'll try it.
[02:00:21]  I can't.
[02:00:24]  I mean, I kind of have to now, right?
[02:00:25]  Like, I'm saying.
[02:00:27]  Why not?
[02:00:28]  Why not?
[02:00:29]  What's there to lose?
[02:00:30]  For the culture, we'll do that.
[02:00:31]  Come back for another episode.
[02:00:32]  It's all about culture.
[02:00:34]  Listen, how about this?
[02:00:36]  We can fuck.
[02:00:37]  Patreon.
[02:00:39]  You have to shit in front of me.
[02:00:42]  Wow.
[02:00:43]  Yeah, have to.
[02:00:43]  Those are the rules.
[02:00:45]  Them's the rules.
[02:00:47]  She got real kansas on us.
[02:00:51]  You have to take a full shit in front of me.
[02:00:54]  Door open?
[02:00:54]  Door open.
[02:00:55]  You could be on the toilet.
[02:00:56]  It doesn't have to be on the table or anything.
[02:00:58]  Yeah.
[02:00:59]  I don't want to, but you have to.
[02:01:00]  That's a hard one for me.
[02:01:01]  I know.
[02:01:01]  It's about vulnerability.
[02:01:02]  Like, this is very vulnerable for me.
[02:01:04]  Do you know what I mean?
[02:01:04]  Like, here I am thinking that you're just a fan of my work when you really were just objectifying me the whole time.
[02:01:10]  Now, that's very difficult for me to accept.
[02:01:12]  So you have to accept something difficult too.
[02:01:15]  So we go out.
[02:01:17]  We have a nice, nice dinner.
[02:01:19]  You don't like this anymore.
[02:01:20]  Eggplant bar.
[02:01:23]  She's like, don't treat me nice.
[02:01:25]  I just want to fuck.
[02:01:26]  Watch this.
[02:01:27]  Watch this.
[02:01:28]  How about this?
[02:01:28]  We don't even have to fuck.
[02:01:29]  You just have to take a shit.
[02:01:32]  Wait, we went from the things I wanted to now the things I don't want.
[02:01:36]  You were kinky.
[02:01:40]  Well, there it is.
[02:01:41]  God damn.
[02:01:42]  You know, that's just it.
[02:01:43]  I never thought I was kinky.
[02:01:44]  I thought I was slutty.
[02:01:45]  And then I got into porn and realized that I'm a prude.
[02:01:48]  Like, I didn't know how much was out there.
[02:01:50]  I was a little blind to things.
[02:01:54]  You just like fuck with you.
[02:01:55]  Yeah.
[02:01:56]  I mean, who doesn't?
[02:01:56]  That's what I'm saying.
[02:01:58]  But like, you liked, you found maybe some fun in it, some validation in it.
[02:02:02]  You found out you're that percentage of people in the world that people want to watch fuck.
[02:02:06]  Right.
[02:02:06]  I found that out and I was like, wow, this is crazy.
[02:02:08]  I'm saying that's a crazy feeling.
[02:02:10]  Before you were in porn, when you were just living in Kansas and you were like making this money and doing that stuff, you go out to the bar and it wasn't a big deal for you to just hook up with a guy that you.
[02:02:19]  Yeah, I would do that in a heartbeat.
[02:02:20]  In a heartbeat.
[02:02:21]  Yeah.
[02:02:21]  Like hook up with guys.
[02:02:22]  It's kind of like my mission, to be honest with you.
[02:02:24]  You'd go out to the bar that night.
[02:02:26]  It's not a good night if you go home without it.
[02:02:28]  Talk about that.
[02:02:29]  Explain.
[02:02:29]  Is that something common with women?
[02:02:31]  Do they go out hunting?
[02:02:32]  I mean, I certainly did.
[02:02:34]  I was definitely a hunter and I would go out and I would go to like a bar or a party or whatever and I would wait it out and I would see who all the other women were into and then that's the person I would go after regardless if I was sold on them or not.
[02:02:47]  I wanted to be the one who wanted to do that validation.
[02:02:50]  Yeah.
[02:02:50]  Like I was like, oh, that's who everybody wants?
[02:02:53]  Yeah.
[02:02:53]  I'm into it and I will take him home.
[02:02:55]  Like that's my, what was your most salacious line to take a guy home?
[02:02:59]  We're talking about it is 10 seconds left in the fourth quarter.
[02:03:04]  You're down by two.
[02:03:06]  What is your game?
[02:03:12]  There's other girls there that are also trying to take this guy home.
[02:03:15]  There's a great Chris Rockman about that.
[02:03:16]  I'm sorry, but I've never seen men in love.
[02:03:19]  Take you home from a wild island missionary.
[02:03:20]  You'll see a nice woman and be like, wow, that's a nice woman.
[02:03:23]  I want to meet someone just like her.
[02:03:24]  I've always had to do that.
[02:03:25]  And then women will see a dude and be like, that's a nice man.
[02:03:27]  I want him.
[02:03:28]  And I would step on that bitch's throat to get it.
[02:03:31]  And that's how you felt.
[02:03:32]  Yeah.
[02:03:32]  And I've always been super confident.
[02:03:34]  So confidence is always sexy to people.
[02:03:36]  So just the fact that I'm like, we're going home.
[02:03:38]  And they're like, walk up to a guy and say, we're going home together.
[02:03:41]  I mean, at one point, I'm sure it got to that.
[02:03:43]  But yeah, I just lay down my, you know, lay down my sales.
[02:03:46]  Women don't need game.
[02:03:48]  I'm just trying to see from their perspective.
[02:03:50]  Okay.
[02:03:50]  So you're going up to this guy and you're going, I'm going to take this motherfucker home.
[02:03:55]  You do some stupid talk.
[02:03:56]  Hey, how are you?
[02:03:56]  I'm Sylvia.
[02:03:57]  Blah, Right.
[02:03:58]  You show him some pictures of you getting fucked in the ass and doing the ass telling that you've been tested.
[02:04:02]  Dude, that's a noodle like it's a player.
[02:04:04]  You were throwing out all the cards.
[02:04:05]  I didn't realize that.
[02:04:06]  She said she blood test just now.
[02:04:08]  Yeah, nobody's cleaner.
[02:04:09]  She said, nobody's cleaner than me in Nashville.
[02:04:11]  I get tested every two years.
[02:04:12]  You get tested more than John Jones, bro.
[02:04:15]  Fuck that.
[02:04:16]  I respect it.
[02:04:17]  So you throw out all this stuff, and then if it still was up in the air, you think you would just say, hey, listen, I want this to go down.
[02:04:26]  It's funny to me that you think it's still up in the air.
[02:04:28]  Like, it's never up in the air.
[02:04:30]  Have you never had a guy say no?
[02:04:32]  Not really.
[02:04:33]  In your whole life?
[02:04:35]  I don't believe that.
[02:04:36]  Bro.
[02:04:36]  No, no.
[02:04:37]  Women don't need to.
[02:04:38]  Andrew ain't even said yes yet for real.
[02:04:40]  But Andrew's a different type of fucking dude.
[02:04:42]  Technically, I have not said yes.
[02:04:43]  There you go.
[02:04:44]  There's a first for everything.
[02:04:46]  What game does a woman really need to get them to sleep with somebody?
[02:04:49]  Like, honestly.
[02:04:50]  Like, a good-looking woman walks up to you and is like, yo, we're going to have sex.
[02:04:54]  Most 80% of dudes are going to be like, ooh, yeah.
[02:04:56]  Yeah.
[02:04:58]  For what?
[02:04:59]  And there's, you know, there's alcohol involved.
[02:05:01]  You're, you know, everything.
[02:05:02]  And most men are out there.
[02:05:03]  Like, most women fuck too.
[02:05:05]  Yeah.
[02:05:05]  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
[02:05:06]  Like, most women aren't as upfront and being like, oh, I just want to go and hang out with my friends.
[02:05:09]  Like, she's openly saying, like, I want to go out and find somebody to fuck.
[02:05:13]  Yeah.
[02:05:14]  Most men, when they go out, like, of course.
[02:05:17]  What about married dudes?
[02:05:18]  Any emotional quality?
[02:05:19]  I'm into it.
[02:05:20]  No, I'm into it.
[02:05:20]  Really?
[02:05:21]  I'm actually more into married men than I am to single women.
[02:05:23]  Talk to me why.
[02:05:24]  Because they don't want an expectation.
[02:05:26]  They're not going to call me every day.
[02:05:27]  They're not going to bother me.
[02:05:29]  Like, I don't like people to ask a lot of questions.
[02:05:31]  I like to run my own life and married men don't ask questions.
[02:05:35]  We have a newly married man.
[02:05:48]  What about engaged dudes?
[02:05:49]  What about engaged?
[02:05:50]  How do you feel about engaged dudes?
[02:05:52]  I don't feel like engaged dudes are looking to have sex with anybody else.
[02:05:56]  I feel like they're like, they're so sold on being in love.
[02:06:00]  Married men have gotten over the fact of being in love and they just want to get their rocks off, you know?
[02:06:05]  Engaged men are still in love with somebody.
[02:06:07]  They have this magical idea of what it's going to be when they get married, which will fall apart.
[02:06:14]  So, married men are the best.
[02:06:16]  Yeah.
[02:06:16]  Easy, casual, done.
[02:06:18]  Yeah.

=== Fox Sports Contract Person (10:42) ===

[02:06:19]  Wow.
[02:06:20]  Interesting.
[02:06:21]  Have you ever had somebody that wasn't happy with your services?
[02:06:26]  If they were, they didn't tell me.
[02:06:27]  But do you ever hear a bad review or anything like that?
[02:06:30]  Like, I don't read the Googles.
[02:06:32]  You know, I don't read the comments.
[02:06:34]  There's not a Yelp review on your purview.
[02:06:36]  There's no Yelp for escorts?
[02:06:38]  I don't think so.
[02:06:38]  There's got to be an Angie's list for escorts.
[02:06:40]  100%.
[02:06:41]  There's no way to review.
[02:06:43]  I don't know.
[02:06:43]  I don't know if there is.
[02:06:45]  I'm not into it.
[02:06:46]  Yo, Madam's list.
[02:06:47]  Madam's list, son.
[02:06:48]  We definitely need to do a review system.
[02:06:50]  Oh my God, you can make a lot of money on that.
[02:06:52]  Oh, my God.
[02:06:53]  Yeah.
[02:06:53]  I don't, I mean, that's for other people.
[02:06:55]  It's not my force.
[02:06:57]  Not you.
[02:06:57]  You know what I mean?
[02:06:58]  Hypothetically, if you were to do something like this where other people in your position are doing stuff like that.
[02:07:03]  Yeah, it's fascinating, man.
[02:07:05]  I can't believe.
[02:07:06]  And you still do stand-up.
[02:07:08]  Yeah, I love stand-up.
[02:07:09]  Love it.
[02:07:09]  Just do it for the lowest scale.
[02:07:11]  Stand-up.
[02:07:12]  Have you ever stand-up?
[02:07:13]  Wait, have you ever fucked a guy that you are completely disgusted by?
[02:07:17]  How do you get over it?
[02:07:18]  Yeah, in porn.
[02:07:19]  And how do you get over that?
[02:07:20]  How do you compartmentalize it?
[02:07:21]  I almost quit porn the day it happened.
[02:07:23]  Talk to me.
[02:07:24]  No one will ever see the video because I made the most obscene faces to the camera because I was just like.
[02:07:30]  Why are you disgusted by him?
[02:07:32]  He was single and available and showed interest.
[02:07:35]  No, no, no, no.
[02:07:37]  He was super old and disgusting.
[02:07:40]  And I was told it was a boy-boy-girl scene, which means I would have sex with two men, and I was totally okay with that.
[02:07:45]  And it was for a black site, Brother Lovers.
[02:07:49]  All right.
[02:07:50]  And I thought it was going to be two brothers.
[02:07:53]  And I don't have soldiers.
[02:07:53]  I thought the black guy had to be to look old.
[02:07:56]  But it wasn't.
[02:07:57]  That's not what happened.
[02:07:58]  That's not what happened.
[02:07:59]  I had sex with a black man and it was great.
[02:08:01]  Both brothers duped you.
[02:08:02]  No, listen.
[02:08:02]  Are you the Jesse Smoillette?
[02:08:04]  It wasn't too.
[02:08:05]  I love pornography.
[02:08:06]  It wasn't too much.
[02:08:07]  It sounds like two black fathers.
[02:08:12]  I was down for the two black men.
[02:08:13]  That's not what I got.
[02:08:14]  I got one black man, and he came on my pussy.
[02:08:18]  And then the old, fucking, disgusting white director came over and ate the guy's cum off my pussy and then proceeded to fuck me.
[02:08:27]  And that's the face I made to the camera.
[02:08:28]  I was like, wow.
[02:08:30]  Wow.
[02:08:32]  So it would never be put on us on the internet.
[02:08:36]  I don't even understand what I'm saying.
[02:08:37]  So he's a director.
[02:08:39]  I understand all too well.
[02:08:41]  He puts the camera on a fucking colour.
[02:08:42]  He's on your pussy.
[02:08:43]  Hold on.
[02:08:44]  So, meaning, like, so you're a spread eagle, you're laying on your back.
[02:08:47]  Yeah.
[02:08:48]  And then he comes like kind of like a cinnabon, like that little drizzle.
[02:08:52]  He glazes the pussy drizzle, right?
[02:08:55]  Okay.
[02:08:55]  Then the other guy comes and eats it.
[02:08:58]  Licks it off.
[02:08:59]  Does he do one bite like a grouper or is it cleaning and licking as a?
[02:09:04]  Cleaning and licking.
[02:09:05]  Like a windshield wiper type of.
[02:09:07]  Yeah.
[02:09:07]  That's how I felt.
[02:09:09]  I almost quit porn.
[02:09:10]  Wait for it.
[02:09:11]  So after he does that, then he immediately starts having sex.
[02:09:14]  Yeah.
[02:09:15]  Is there a conversation?
[02:09:17]  No, there was no conversation.
[02:09:18]  Is that allowed?
[02:09:20]  No, I left my agent right after because I couldn't even believe he booked me on this.
[02:09:23]  Like, I was so disgusted.
[02:09:25]  And it was like the worst moment of my life.
[02:09:27]  Yeah, it sounds kind of rapey.
[02:09:29]  That's me.
[02:09:32]  It's usually a rape, right?
[02:09:34]  Yeah.
[02:09:34]  I wanted to cut my vagina out and my eyes.
[02:09:36]  It was an old dude.
[02:09:37]  Harvey Weinstein?
[02:09:38]  Yeah.
[02:09:39]  Just as nasty.
[02:09:40]  Harvey's a saint.
[02:09:41]  So I like to tell everybody to never, never watch that site.
[02:09:44]  Do not support those people because they're disgusting.
[02:09:47]  But they're bad.
[02:09:48]  Horrible people.
[02:09:48]  What's the movie?
[02:09:49]  You could say it.
[02:09:50]  Brother Lovers is the name of the site.
[02:09:51]  Brother Lovers.
[02:09:52]  Okay.
[02:09:52]  So, okay.
[02:09:53]  So that happens.
[02:09:54]  That's the lowest point in porn.
[02:09:56]  Yeah.
[02:09:56]  And after that, you're like, I think I'm outchair.
[02:10:00]  I thought I was going to be, yeah.
[02:10:01]  Then what happens?
[02:10:03]  I mean, I signed with another agent and it was promising to treat me better.
[02:10:07]  Of course, they didn't.
[02:10:08]  What happened with him?
[02:10:09]  My next agent was a giant coke head.
[02:10:11]  So it was like, yeah.
[02:10:13]  There are all cokeheads out there for sure.
[02:10:15]  But what did he do to not treat you right?
[02:10:17]  It wasn't not treating me right.
[02:10:18]  It just wasn't making me enough money.
[02:10:20]  He just wasn't paying enough attention.
[02:10:21]  He had his own issues and was too wrapped up in his own life to worry about booking people on jobs.
[02:10:27]  Right.
[02:10:27]  And so, and I probably wasn't one of his like high money makers at the time.
[02:10:31]  So do you have like a legit agent and a porn agent?
[02:10:34]  I am a comedy agent.
[02:10:36]  I do not have a comedy agent.
[02:10:37]  I book all my own comedy.
[02:10:40]  I do have an agent for my pornography, but I also self-book.
[02:10:45]  So, yeah.
[02:10:47]  Hmm.
[02:10:48]  Yeah.
[02:10:48]  So that was the lowest point in porn.
[02:10:50]  Nothing worse than that.
[02:10:51]  Yeah, nothing worse.
[02:10:52]  That sounds about right.
[02:10:54]  And now I always ask who it's going to be with, and I look them up online, and you can say yes or say no.
[02:11:00]  But I don't really have a no list.
[02:11:02]  A lot of people have no lists of people they don't like to work with.
[02:11:04]  Really?
[02:11:05]  Who's a prominent guy on the no list?
[02:11:07]  I can't say.
[02:11:08]  Really?
[02:11:08]  I mean, I'll tell you off of air.
[02:11:09]  Well, this is behind the paywall, so no one's going to, you know, they'll find out.
[02:11:13]  So, wait, why?
[02:11:14]  There's somebody that you cannot talk to.
[02:11:15]  There's one guy that like a lot of girls have on their no-list.
[02:11:18]  I might be the only one he's allowed to have sex with, to be honest with.
[02:11:21]  Who?
[02:11:22]  Ron Jeremy.
[02:11:23]  No.
[02:11:23]  Oh, gosh.
[02:11:24]  He would be on my no-list for sure.
[02:11:26]  Jesus.
[02:11:27]  Not Ron Jeremy.
[02:11:28]  I don't want to throw him under the bus.
[02:11:28]  I would feel bad.
[02:11:29]  You're not throwing him under the bus.
[02:11:31]  This is just what it is.
[02:11:32]  We'll just go ask Lisa who is he?
[02:11:35]  And you're the one who's willing to fuck him.
[02:11:36]  So if anybody should say it, then it's you.
[02:11:38]  Who is it?
[02:11:39]  His name's Brad Knight.
[02:11:40]  Brad Knight.
[02:11:41]  Do you know him, Cass Kaza, our resident porn expert?
[02:11:44]  No, I only know a handful of like male porn stars, and he's not one of them.
[02:11:47]  And why do they not like Brad?
[02:11:48]  It's just the way he tries to run the scene.
[02:11:51]  He tries to act like he's the only one who's been making porn and that nobody else has any idea what's going on, including he does it to the director.
[02:11:56]  So a lot of directors won't work with him.
[02:11:58]  He tries to like run the show.
[02:12:01]  I feel like the men have no pull whatsoever.
[02:12:03]  That's what I thought.
[02:12:04]  Yeah, well, they really don't, which is why a lot of people don't like to work with him because they're like, dude, shut the fuck up.
[02:12:09]  You're not running this.
[02:12:09]  Yeah, nobody's here for you.
[02:12:11]  Right.
[02:12:11]  We're watching it for the girl, not Brad Knight.
[02:12:14]  The fact that this guy looks like a fucking douche.
[02:12:19]  This guy looks what is Cody?
[02:12:22]  Who's the guy?
[02:12:24]  In the, what's that sitcom back in the day?
[02:12:26]  Boy Meets World?
[02:12:27]  Boy Meets World.
[02:12:28]  Corey, Cory Moriori.
[02:12:29]  Yeah, that's Corey Matthews.
[02:12:30]  I like Corey Matthews.
[02:12:31]  God damn it.
[02:12:32]  Wait, this guy has a big dick.
[02:12:33]  He's got a huge dick, actually.
[02:12:35]  Really?
[02:12:36]  Yeah.
[02:12:37]  He does.
[02:12:37]  That guy right there?
[02:12:38]  That little chest here?
[02:12:39]  You got to trade some things off of God, man.
[02:12:42]  Make me look like this, but give me a fucking humongous dick.
[02:12:45]  He has a big dick.
[02:12:46]  He does.
[02:12:46]  Yeah.
[02:12:48]  Did you see the pictures?
[02:12:49]  Yo, get that up.
[02:12:52]  Get him.
[02:12:53]  It's a Patreon of his own.
[02:12:55]  Get that up.
[02:12:56]  Now, while we're waiting for that, you say you self-book, right?
[02:12:59]  And Lisa was here and she was talking about how much the internet has really helped her.
[02:13:03]  Oh, 100%.
[02:13:04]  Yeah, so tell me about that.
[02:13:05]  I know she does, what's the thing?
[02:13:07]  We have Our OnlyFans.
[02:13:08]  We have a premium Snapchat.
[02:13:10]  I have a porn hub account.
[02:13:11]  All these things are just different ways to make.
[02:13:13]  Porn, I imagine, doesn't.
[02:13:15]  Nobody pays for porn.
[02:13:16]  No.
[02:13:16]  But that's the best thing.
[02:13:17]  But they do pay for these sites because it's being more connected to their favorite stars.
[02:13:22]  Yeah.
[02:13:22]  So it's like a personal, intimate look into our lives.
[02:13:25]  So how does the porn hub work?
[02:13:26]  Because before they were just, it was like YouTube.
[02:13:28]  They were just like uploading whatever.
[02:13:30]  But now there's like verified accounts and shit.
[02:13:32]  Yeah, I don't know how it works.
[02:13:33]  I have an assistant and she does all that.
[02:13:37]  But I have an account and it does make me money.
[02:13:39]  So that's what I know.
[02:13:40]  Oh, no shit.
[02:13:41]  Yeah.
[02:13:41]  I have no idea.
[02:13:42]  He is.
[02:13:42]  Oh, here's your work.
[02:13:44]  Oh, there it is.
[02:13:45]  I got it.
[02:13:47]  What's that on your list?
[02:13:48]  Oh, is that Brian Knight or Brad Knight?
[02:13:50]  Brandon.
[02:13:51]  Which scene are you looking at?
[02:13:52]  Mommy Blows Best?
[02:13:54]  Yeah, that's Brad.
[02:13:55]  Mommy Blows Best.
[02:13:58]  That's the name of the site.
[02:13:59]  Mommy Blows Best.
[02:14:00]  Do you have a favorite title site?
[02:14:03]  Yeah, I love working for Sweet Center.
[02:14:05]  They're my favorite company to work for.
[02:14:06]  All right.
[02:14:07]  Shout out to Sweet Center.
[02:14:08]  We'll give them a bit of a shit.
[02:14:09]  Because they actually have real storylines, so I actually get to act.
[02:14:12]  And I was their most booked person in 2018 and on the road to be their most booked in 2019.
[02:14:17]  They've made me a contract person.
[02:14:19]  Nice.
[02:14:20]  Yeah, so I just love working for them.
[02:14:22]  You've never done any casting, have you?
[02:14:25]  No.
[02:14:25]  Okay.
[02:14:26]  Oh, like casting couches, you mean?
[02:14:28]  Because that's Andy's Corte.
[02:14:29]  I started.
[02:14:31]  That's how everyone kind of like starts.
[02:14:33]  And so I did one kind of casting couch that was.
[02:14:36]  Oh, he's so happy right now.
[02:14:37]  There you go.
[02:14:37]  He's so happy right now.
[02:14:39]  With whom?
[02:14:40]  Rick.
[02:14:42]  I don't remember.
[02:14:43]  CastingCouch.com?
[02:14:44]  No, I don't think so.
[02:14:45]  I don't think so.
[02:14:46]  I can't remember who it was.
[02:14:47]  It's five years ago.
[02:14:48]  Oh, that's my favorite.
[02:14:50]  See?
[02:14:51]  No, it's not Rick.
[02:14:52]  Is that where I got my hands stuck in the garbage disposal?
[02:14:55]  Yeah.
[02:14:56]  That's the storyline.
[02:14:58]  Oh, my God.
[02:15:00]  Before we started recording, you said he got banned from Fox Sports 1.
[02:15:03]  No, Fox Sports News.
[02:15:04]  How the fuck did that happen?
[02:15:06]  So, okay, so like four years ago.
[02:15:13]  Sports questions.
[02:15:17]  So like four years ago, I was out at the bungalow in Santa Monica.
[02:15:22]  I don't know if you've ever heard of it.
[02:15:23]  So basically, the premise of the bungalow is it's very like house-oriented.
[02:15:26]  So it's like a lot of couch seating and it forces you to interact with people.
[02:15:30]  And I was there on a Tinder date, and my Tinder date went to the bathroom.
[02:15:33]  And there were these four dudes sitting across from me.
[02:15:35]  What do you say you do on Tinder?
[02:15:36]  Are you honest about that?
[02:15:38]  I'm not on Tinder anymore, but yeah, I'm honest with everybody.
[02:15:41]  Okay.
[02:15:41]  And so there's these four guys sitting across from me.
[02:15:44]  And I'm very friendly.
[02:15:45]  And so I just said, hi, I'm Sylvia Sage, blah, blah, blah.
[02:15:48]  And we started talking.
[02:15:49]  They asked what I did.
[02:15:50]  I said, I'm a stand-up comic, and I also work in pornography.
[02:15:52]  And they were like, oh, my God, we'd love to have you on our show.
[02:15:56]  And I was like, yeah, I was like, whatever.
[02:15:58]  I agree to most podcasts, you know?
[02:16:00]  And I'm like, yeah, I'll do your radio show.
[02:16:02]  But I didn't know who they were.
[02:16:03]  And then they were like, we'll have your people, our people call your people.
[02:16:07]  And I was like, well, I am my people.
[02:16:08]  So yeah, I'll take that call.
[02:16:10]  And so they called me in the next day because this was Saturday night.
[02:16:13]  So on Sunday morning, I was on Fox Sports Radio and I didn't know that's who it was.
[02:16:18]  And I basically said, the last comment I said was, they said, are your parents proud?
[02:16:23]  And I said, yeah, my parents are proud that I'm taking the path less traveled and the cock more ridden.
[02:16:30]  And yeah.
[02:16:32]  And that was it for me.
[02:16:35]  Just saying cock?
[02:16:36]  Yeah.
[02:16:36]  And then like a month later, I'm in Vegas and I ran into those same guys and I said, you know, can I get back on the show?
[02:16:43]  I want to promote this comedy gig I've got coming up.
[02:16:46]  And they were like, yeah, we're not allowed to have you on the show anymore.
[02:16:48]  And we almost lost our jobs because of you.
[02:16:50]  And I was like, oh, fuck.
[02:16:52]  I have no idea.
[02:16:52]  I was like, you guys told me I was able to say whatever I wanted.
[02:16:55]  That's all that.
[02:16:56]  Yeah.
[02:16:56]  That's all now.
[02:16:57]  You can say whatever you want.
[02:16:58]  I'm not allowed to be on Fox Sports News ever again.

=== Parents Proud of Path (03:32) ===

[02:17:01]  Ah, right.
[02:17:02]  Yeah.
[02:17:03]  Well, Andrew seems very sir.
[02:17:06]  Yeah, you really enjoy giving head, huh?
[02:17:09]  Cause you're not.
[02:17:12]  Now, is this uncomfortable for you?
[02:17:14]  I could never sit next to somebody while they watch my bit.
[02:17:17]  It's the worst thing.
[02:17:17]  No, it's not uncomfortable at all.
[02:17:18]  That's not how you've done this all day.
[02:17:20]  No, yeah.
[02:17:21]  I've done comedy thousands of times.
[02:17:22]  I've done comedy more times than she's fucked.
[02:17:24]  It's still uncomfortable for me to watch someone watch my bit.
[02:17:27]  Really?
[02:17:27]  Way for sure.
[02:17:29]  No, not at all.
[02:17:31]  I will sit.
[02:17:32]  You know, Washborne, all right?
[02:17:33]  I'm good.
[02:17:34]  I'll sit there while they watch my comedy, too.
[02:17:42]  I don't know.
[02:17:44]  I didn't even bring it this way.
[02:17:46]  It's good work.
[02:17:47]  Thank you.
[02:17:47]  Good work.
[02:17:48]  Thank you.
[02:17:48]  Good work.
[02:17:48]  You'll be an objective.
[02:17:50]  Thank you.
[02:17:53]  I love the eye contact.
[02:17:54]  Yeah, shit.
[02:17:55]  You're an angle.
[02:17:56]  Can you pass that back to me?
[02:17:57]  Just grab a light on Kashika.
[02:18:00]  Just pass that back to everybody.
[02:18:03]  He did take a peak.
[02:18:05]  You take a peak.
[02:18:06]  Take a peak.
[02:18:08]  Sally.
[02:18:09]  You don't watch porn?
[02:18:10]  No.
[02:18:12]  I told you.
[02:18:12]  He's a very gentle soul.
[02:18:15]  Yeah, absolutely.
[02:18:16]  What do you think is going to happen to you if you watch it?
[02:18:20]  I don't know.
[02:18:20]  I haven't thought through, like, I don't think I'm going to hell if that's what you were watching.
[02:18:23]  Okay, yeah.
[02:18:25]  Wait, why don't you watch porn?
[02:18:26]  Just not his thing.
[02:18:27]  Yeah, you're not.
[02:18:27]  That's not his thing.
[02:18:28]  Because my mom thinks I'm going to hell, by the way.
[02:18:30]  She's super religious.
[02:18:31]  And she's like, we won't be able to spend together any time together in the afterlife.
[02:18:36]  So they don't like it and you're fine with that?
[02:18:39]  I mean, they accept it.
[02:18:40]  I'm still close with my whole family.
[02:18:42]  My dad's side is not.
[02:18:44]  I mean, my dad's like, I wish you wouldn't because you're my daughter.
[02:18:47]  But he's like, I get it.
[02:18:48]  And I think my dad wishes he were me.
[02:18:50]  He's like, God, he's like, you get paid to go have sex with people and then you get paid to tell jokes about it.
[02:18:55]  And I'm like, yeah.
[02:18:56]  He's like, he's like, I wish I would have thought of that.
[02:18:59]  Do you notice any difference in the physical nature of your relationship with your father?
[02:19:05]  Like, was it difficult once he saw you doing porn to like hug you and be affectionate?
[02:19:10]  I don't know.
[02:19:11]  I don't imagine he watches.
[02:19:12]  I don't imagine that.
[02:19:12]  He's not watching the porn, but he saw you.
[02:19:14]  He knows that you're doing it.
[02:19:16]  Yeah, no, he didn't have any qualms about it.
[02:19:17]  In fact, I was afraid to tell my brother because it's my older brother.
[02:19:22]  And my dad was like, I'll fucking tell him.
[02:19:24]  He's like, he can't say anything to me about it.
[02:19:25]  And he was like, my dad's super supportive.
[02:19:27]  I was about to say, he sounds like very supportive.
[02:19:29]  Yeah.
[02:19:29]  Wow, that's true.
[02:19:30]  Just because he knows I'm safe and he gets it, like sex sells.
[02:19:33]  I'm a 35-year-old woman.
[02:19:36]  He knows I'm fucking anyway.
[02:19:37]  I might as well make some money at it.
[02:19:39]  Can you retire from porn?
[02:19:41]  And be okay financially?
[02:19:43]  What is your exit strategy?
[02:19:45]  I mean, I don't know that I'm leaving porn anytime soon, but I mean, financially, I'm pretty good.
[02:19:51]  I'm going to, you know, my plan is to buy a fourplex in Kansas City where I'm from in the next year and have that be making money and probably buy a house in Vegas and have that be making money.
[02:20:02]  It's coming the game doing like the stepmom stuff.
[02:20:04]  You could do it for quite a while, right?
[02:20:06]  Yeah, I have no plan to leave.
[02:20:07]  I mean, one of my best friends in porn is Reagan Fox, and she's damn near 50 and she looks fucking stunning.
[02:20:15]  So, I mean, I don't see when I first got in, I told myself like two to five years max, but I'm at five years and I'm like, I feel like I'm just now like getting the recognition I deserve.
[02:20:26]  I'm not leaving anytime soon.
[02:20:28]  Are you winning those awards, those AVN awards?
[02:20:30]  I have not won any AVN awards.
[02:20:32]  You want an AVN?
[02:20:33]  You've been nominated, though.

=== Comedy Scene Segue (02:54) ===

[02:20:34]  I think I've been nominated for Hottest Notes.
[02:20:37]  Yeah.
[02:20:37]  I think this year might be a little bit better for me because I've done a lot more features and a lot more like big movies this year.
[02:20:43]  So I think this year will be better for me.
[02:20:45]  So we'll see.
[02:20:46]  Interesting.
[02:20:47]  Do you get recognized often in the streets?
[02:20:49]  Yes and no.
[02:20:51]  I do, but people don't always say something to me in person.
[02:20:54]  Some people will, but mostly they'll message me on Twitter and like, did I just see you at blah, blah, blah?
[02:20:59]  And I'm like, yeah.
[02:21:00]  Yeah.
[02:21:01]  But they don't say anything.
[02:21:02]  Or a lot of people are like, you look so familiar.
[02:21:05]  And then I'm like, you want to know why I look familiar?
[02:21:08]  And they're like, yeah.
[02:21:09]  And I'm like, it's, you know, porn.
[02:21:10]  And they're like, oh, that's it.
[02:21:12]  Yeah.
[02:21:14]  Yeah.
[02:21:14]  Unfaith.
[02:21:15]  Yeah.
[02:21:16]  Okay.
[02:21:16]  Back to fucking Andrew, right?
[02:21:19]  This is a good segue.
[02:21:20]  This is the segue.
[02:21:21]  How often does it happen where like a guy is just so oblivious that like they don't know that you're throwing them pussy?
[02:21:29]  Does it happen a lot?
[02:21:31]  Yeah.
[02:21:32]  Really?
[02:21:32]  Yeah.
[02:21:33]  Okay.
[02:21:34]  I think just because we're put like on a different level and we're like not humanized any longer that people are like, oh, well, there would be no way you would want to have sex with me.
[02:21:46]  It seems like it's such a pipe dream that it's like, oh wow, this person really isn't just, it's not this easy.
[02:21:52]  Is that not the reason?
[02:21:52]  Exactly.
[02:21:54]  Okay.
[02:21:54]  Is that what you're thinking right now, Andrew?
[02:21:56]  I'm trying to remember that.
[02:21:57]  Akash was asking.
[02:21:59]  I don't remember what I was thinking at the moment.
[02:22:01]  Often assume I'm oblivious to like it.
[02:22:05]  I'm really oblivious.
[02:22:06]  I mean, I wasn't trying to, I wasn't trying to hit on you.
[02:22:11]  Okay.
[02:22:11]  Right?
[02:22:12]  I assumed you're like, you told me you're a comic at first.
[02:22:14]  Then you were telling me you're going to the strip club.
[02:22:15]  So I'm like, I assume you know me from maybe LA.
[02:22:19]  You know me from the comedy scene.
[02:22:20]  You just want to stop at the thing.
[02:22:21]  And then you're doing comedy at a strip club.
[02:22:22]  I didn't put it together that you were also a stripper.
[02:22:24]  Well, I'm not a stripper.
[02:22:26]  Let's get that straight.
[02:22:27]  Whatever.
[02:22:28]  So I am the world's worst stripper.
[02:22:31]  Found that out the hard way.
[02:22:32]  Right.
[02:22:33]  Real embarrassing.
[02:22:34]  You've never stripped before.
[02:22:35]  No.
[02:22:36]  Yeah.
[02:22:36]  But no, I didn't assume it, to be honest with you.
[02:22:38]  But yeah, again, maybe I don't, maybe I don't do it.
[02:22:41]  Yeah, you have to really throw it at me.
[02:22:43]  So when do you fly back?
[02:22:45]  Tomorrow.
[02:22:45]  Tomorrow?
[02:22:46]  Andrew, when do you fly out?
[02:22:48]  What gigs do you want this weekend?
[02:22:50]  I'm in town.
[02:22:50]  I leave tomorrow, though.
[02:22:51]  Leave tomorrow.
[02:22:52]  I know.
[02:22:52]  So we have it until tomorrow.
[02:22:54]  Our 4th of July weekend.
[02:22:56]  Let's get some player.
[02:22:59]  What airport are y'all flying out of?
[02:23:00]  Maybe you take a cabbage.
[02:23:01]  I won't go ahead and go.
[02:23:02]  I'm not taking the airport.
[02:23:03]  I'm not going to the airport.
[02:23:04]  What?
[02:23:04]  Yeah, I'm driving upstate.
[02:23:05]  Oh, okay.
[02:23:07]  Do you have a car?
[02:23:08]  No.
[02:23:08]  Oh.
[02:23:09]  Yeah.
[02:23:09]  I got to rent a car.
[02:23:10]  Oh, can you put that on your wish list for me?
[02:23:15]  A rental car?
[02:23:16]  Yeah, just give me a nice rental car.
[02:23:19]  That's what I'm fucking close.
[02:23:21]  You do that ever.
[02:23:22]  That's it for decoration.
[02:23:24]  If you were to see my apartment, you would get it.
[02:23:25]  My apartment is all about world traveling.

=== Birth Control and STDs (04:27) ===

[02:23:28]  Like, that's what my apartment looks like.
[02:23:30]  It looks like a person who travels a fuck lot.
[02:23:32]  Yeah.
[02:23:32]  Right.
[02:23:34]  Was that like another throw at him?
[02:23:35]  I think she's like, you got to check out.
[02:23:38]  I missed that too.
[02:23:40]  She's like, keep popping on each other.
[02:23:42]  Oh, my God.
[02:23:45]  Damn.
[02:23:46]  Make this happen.
[02:23:47]  God damn.
[02:23:48]  Fucking for the sake of the podcast.
[02:23:50]  Please fuck Andrew.
[02:23:51]  Please.
[02:23:53]  I missed that too.
[02:23:54]  I was like, they don't give a fuck about decorum.
[02:23:58]  Yo, you think a guy's walking into your apartment going, damn, you travel.
[02:24:04]  This girl is worldly, bro.
[02:24:06]  Wow.
[02:24:07]  Let me get that blue rock.
[02:24:08]  I'll sell you a bread.
[02:24:09]  Like, travel on a big gig.
[02:24:12]  It's like, bitch, you're in the grease?
[02:24:14]  Wow.
[02:24:16]  I'm like, is this shit?
[02:24:17]  God damn.
[02:24:19]  So can you even have a steady boyfriend to that kind of stuff?
[02:24:22]  Do you guys put up with it?
[02:24:23]  I mean, I don't know.
[02:24:24]  I haven't dated in 11 years.
[02:24:26]  I haven't had a serious boyfriend.
[02:24:28]  So that's where you sacrifice.
[02:24:29]  Yeah, but I don't count it as a sacrifice.
[02:24:32]  She said 11 years and she's been on a porn for five.
[02:24:34]  Yeah, so I don't count it as a sacrifice.
[02:24:36]  Yeah.
[02:24:36]  Thank you for the pickup on that.
[02:24:39]  I just, I'm better at being single and I like the no answering.
[02:24:43]  I don't like to answer questions.
[02:24:44]  I don't like to answer questions from anybody.
[02:24:46]  I hate fucking small talk.
[02:24:47]  Like I'm just not into it.
[02:24:48]  I'm like, do we have a point?
[02:24:49]  Like let's get to business.
[02:24:51]  Are we making money or what are we doing?
[02:24:54]  So yeah, I don't, I just, it's a lot of tie down and I feel like people get distracted when they're in relationships and I'm very focused on my goals and what I want to accomplish.
[02:25:02]  Like, so here's my main goal.
[02:25:05]  This is what I tell people.
[02:25:06]  Yeah.
[02:25:06]  I want to do for somebody.
[02:25:07]  Not get AIDS.
[02:25:09]  I'm on prep.
[02:25:10]  I'm not getting AIDS.
[02:25:11]  Oh, beast.
[02:25:12]  Wait, what's up?
[02:25:13]  What's coming?
[02:25:13]  I don't know about prep.
[02:25:14]  Nah, what is that?
[02:25:15]  No.
[02:25:16]  She's on point with it.
[02:25:18]  What is a drug that gay dudes take so they don't get AIDS?
[02:25:20]  You can prevent it from happening by taking this regular drug.
[02:25:24]  Smart?
[02:25:25]  How often are you supposed to take it?
[02:25:26]  Every day.
[02:25:27]  Every single day.
[02:25:28]  Yeah, it's like birth control.
[02:25:29]  Jeez.
[02:25:30]  It's like AIDS control.
[02:25:32]  So people can just splash in raw all the time.
[02:25:35]  I mean, I don't like it.
[02:25:36]  I'm trying to fuck a guy with AIDS.
[02:25:38]  Wait a minute.
[02:25:39]  Guys can't come inside you at all.
[02:25:40]  I don't allow it.
[02:25:41]  Not even the cream pie thing?
[02:25:42]  If they do, they have to pay me extra so I can get the plan B.
[02:25:45]  So you don't even, you don't take birth control?
[02:25:47]  I do take birth control, but I don't take risk.
[02:25:48]  I'm not trying to get pregnant.
[02:25:50]  I am like no baby.
[02:25:52]  So even with birth control, you're going to take plan B?
[02:25:54]  100%.
[02:25:55]  Whoa.
[02:25:55]  Yeah.
[02:25:56]  Fuck a baby.
[02:25:58]  I hate babies.
[02:26:00]  You have on film.
[02:26:01]  She's your own, actually.
[02:26:05]  I'm not into that.
[02:26:06]  Yeah, for someone who says they hate kids, your work does not demonstrate us.
[02:26:12]  She's regulating that.
[02:26:13]  Alex approved.
[02:26:18]  So you don't want kids at all?
[02:26:19]  No.
[02:26:20]  None.
[02:26:20]  No.
[02:26:20]  Is it because you're afraid you'll fuck them?
[02:26:24]  That's exactly what it is.
[02:26:25]  You are so right, though.
[02:26:28]  No, I just want to...
[02:26:29]  So my goal is to do for sexuality what Eleanor Generes did for being gay.
[02:26:33]  Because before her, it wasn't even talked about.
[02:26:35]  It was very hush-hush.
[02:26:36]  Nobody, there wasn't gay people on TV.
[02:26:38]  There wasn't kissing on TV.
[02:26:39]  And now it's a nice one.
[02:26:42]  Right?
[02:26:42]  Now we got it as niggas dancing around all goofy at 2 p.m.
[02:26:46]  We don't need all that.
[02:26:46]  But it's super accepted, and that's what I want.
[02:26:48]  So I just want to.
[02:26:49]  So you want 2 p.m. on ABC.
[02:26:51]  I want somebody.
[02:26:51]  Just girls suck and cock.
[02:26:53]  No, I want us to talk about sex.
[02:26:55]  I want sex to be just an open topic like everything else is.
[02:26:58]  That's why I do two podcasts of my own, one of which I do with the director of psychology for UCLA, and it's very sex education-based, and I run my own podcast.
[02:27:06]  It's super sex-oriented, super, that's the one I wanted you to be on.
[02:27:10]  It's sex education, but with like a comedy twist.
[02:27:12]  So it's all the things that you Google, and we'll ask you what you Googled last about some sort of sexuality.
[02:27:18]  And mine was, can you get gonorrhea through sharing a joint?
[02:27:21]  Because I thought I got gonorrhea of the throat by sharing a joint with somebody.
[02:27:24]  Did you get caught?
[02:27:25]  You cannot get it that way, by the way.
[02:27:27]  How'd you get that?
[02:27:28]  Yeah, I have had gonorrhea one time.
[02:27:33]  There's only a few of them.
[02:27:33]  Did you get it that way?
[02:27:35]  Yeah, I don't know how I got it because I just, when I just popped for it, so I don't know if it was, you know, by the throat or anything else.
[02:27:42]  It's funny they say popped like athletes do.
[02:27:44]  Yeah.
[02:27:45]  Yeah.
[02:27:46]  Pop for babies.
[02:27:49]  She said it for two months.
[02:27:52]  Wait, do you guys get suspended when you pop?
[02:27:54]  Well, I mean, yeah, you got to take a week off and do something like that.

=== Joint Gonorrhea Myth (03:48) ===

[02:27:56]  No, no, but like does the company go, a week?
[02:27:58]  Just a week?
[02:27:59]  So what are you doing within that week?
[02:28:01]  Who gets you fresh off of the gonorrhea?
[02:28:03]  She doesn't like it.
[02:28:04]  No, I mean, you get cleaned for it, and then you have to get another clean test.
[02:28:07]  Right.
[02:28:07]  Yeah.
[02:28:07]  So when you get your clean test back, then you can go back to work.
[02:28:10]  Nah, man.
[02:28:10]  Any other crazy STD that you got?
[02:28:13]  No, I've only had gonorrhea one time in five years and I've had nothing else.
[02:28:16]  We're about to class.
[02:28:17]  That's like the beginner's STD.
[02:28:18]  So you'll be all right.
[02:28:19]  It's like a gono.
[02:28:21]  What about herpes?
[02:28:23]  We don't do tests for herpes, but there's also a preventative you can be on.
[02:28:27]  Also, I'm on for herpes as well.
[02:28:30]  Really?
[02:28:30]  So, yeah.
[02:28:31]  So you're pills.
[02:28:32]  And I think most people are.
[02:28:33]  Daily.
[02:28:34]  Those are my three pills.
[02:28:35]  Birthday.
[02:28:35]  Anti-baby, anti-herpes, and strongly three.
[02:28:40]  All just take this?
[02:28:41]  Why aren't all of us on this?
[02:28:42]  I don't know.
[02:28:43]  Are we rolling the dice with this?
[02:28:44]  Because you guys are, I mean, you're not testing on a regular basis either.
[02:28:47]  That's why I don't fuck regular people.
[02:28:49]  Yeah, what's the method?
[02:28:50]  The anti-herpie thing.
[02:28:51]  You read the double.
[02:28:52]  Shut up.
[02:28:54]  I'll start taking that shit down.
[02:28:57]  I'll send it over to you.
[02:28:59]  Text it to Andrew Later.
[02:29:02]  Actually, I'll just give you the bottle.
[02:29:05]  It's a daily take as well.
[02:29:08]  Well, thank you so much for coming.
[02:29:10]  I have one more question.
[02:29:11]  So you said that 90% of your income or 40% of girls' income.
[02:29:17]  So what about for male actors?
[02:29:20]  I don't think a lot of males do any sort of stuff.
[02:29:24]  And they do day escorting, right?
[02:29:25]  Yeah, some of them can, but there's just not as big a draw and it doesn't make as much money.
[02:29:29]  So they're just not making money then?
[02:29:31]  I mean, they do.
[02:29:32]  In straight porn.
[02:29:33]  I feel bad for any woman who's paying for dick.
[02:29:35]  Like, that shit is free as fuck.
[02:29:38]  In straight porn, we have very few men who actually work.
[02:29:41]  I want to say maybe a pool of 15 to 20 dudes who work on a regular basis.
[02:29:45]  That's exhausting.
[02:29:45]  So they work all the time.
[02:29:47]  These dudes are working five to seven days a week.
[02:29:50]  So, I mean, even though they don't make as much money as we do, they're still making a pretty decent money.
[02:29:54]  How much did you make for a scene?
[02:29:56]  I don't like to talk about that.
[02:29:57]  Can you give, all right, how much does not you, but maybe another girl, an average?
[02:30:01]  I mean, it just depends.
[02:30:02]  So it depends on what you're doing.
[02:30:03]  So let's say your first, your first couple roles, what were you making?
[02:30:07]  Usually it's somewhere around $1,000.
[02:30:09]  Okay.
[02:30:10]  So $1,000 for a scene.
[02:30:11]  How much will a dude make for that?
[02:30:13]  $300 to $500.
[02:30:15]  Really?
[02:30:15]  Yeah.
[02:30:16]  Where's the wage gap argument?
[02:30:17]  But some of the bigger guys can make up to $1,500 a scene.
[02:30:20]  So that's what I'm saying.
[02:30:21]  Your rate goes up the more you're in and your demand.
[02:30:24]  And I mean, it just depends.
[02:30:26]  Depends on how big she is.
[02:30:27]  No guy is making as much as the girl, though.
[02:30:29]  No.
[02:30:30]  Well, some of our big guys are making as much as starting out girls, if not more.
[02:30:35]  But that's starting out.
[02:30:35]  So there is a wage gap in pornography that nobody's addressing.
[02:30:39]  And it's a huge grievance against.
[02:30:40]  You make as much money as you tell people you want to make.
[02:30:43]  Everybody sets their own prices.
[02:30:45]  Ah.
[02:30:45]  So there's like a general of what each scene costs and what it's going to be.
[02:30:49]  But then you say if you want to go, if you'll take less than that or if you need to ask for more than that.
[02:30:55]  And then the company decides if they want to book you, if they can afford you.
[02:30:57]  They all have caps on their movies.
[02:30:59]  Right.
[02:30:59]  They have a budget just like anything else.
[02:31:01]  Right.
[02:31:01]  This wage gap argument was very conservative.
[02:31:04]  Very.
[02:31:04]  You make as much as the market dictates.
[02:31:06]  That's right.
[02:31:07]  Listen, guys, I think on behalf of all of us, we're very grateful that you came.
[02:31:11]  I know you got to run out of here.
[02:31:12]  Oh, shit.
[02:31:13]  I got to really run.
[02:31:14]  But thank you so much for coming.
[02:31:15]  We appreciate you.
[02:31:16]  Tell them where they can see you, what podcasts you can get.
[02:31:19]  Yeah, absolutely.
[02:31:20]  You can find me.
[02:31:24]  You can find me on Instagram at the Sylvia Sage, and it's S-I-L-V-I-A-S-A-I-G-E.
[02:31:31]  If you watch my stand-up, you'll know what all those eyes are about.
[02:31:34]  And you can find me on Twitter at Sylvia Sage, XXX, Facebook, Sylvia Sage.
[02:31:39]  And you can find me on iTunes and Spotify.
[02:31:42]  Got them.
[02:31:43]  Go check her out.
[02:31:44]  God bless