Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Problem-Addict - Flagrant 2 Patreon
Aired: 2019-04-26
Duration: 08:36


=== Disney Mascot Chaos (07:17) ===

[00:00:03]  Cherry blossom.
[00:00:04]  You can't cherry blossom with a friend.
[00:00:06]  No, absolutely not.
[00:00:08]  You can't cherry blossom?
[00:00:09]  Ironically.
[00:00:09]  Yo, son, I'm not gonna lie.
[00:00:11]  If we went, we would kill it.
[00:00:13]  Okay, also keep.
[00:00:14]  Can I keep it 100 with you?
[00:00:16]  Cut that whole line, Sam.
[00:00:19]  It was a big, long line.
[00:00:20]  Yeah.
[00:00:20]  How you cut express pass or something?
[00:00:22]  Nah, I just walk right in the exit.
[00:00:24]  White people, huh?
[00:00:25]  Dog.
[00:00:25]  These dumbass white people are just waiting on this long fucking line with strollers, kids.
[00:00:29]  There's like a thousand Japanese women with the SARS mask and everything.
[00:00:32]  They love these.
[00:00:33]  That's why Japanese love cherry blossom so much.
[00:00:36]  Want me to tell you why I figured it out?
[00:00:37]  Yeah.
[00:00:38]  Asian people love useless shit.
[00:00:41]  Like anything useless as fuck that's like really specific and only around for a little bit of time, they love.
[00:00:49]  Japanese are all Asian?
[00:00:51]  All Asian.
[00:00:51]  Anything you like trinkets.
[00:00:52]  They're into like train.
[00:00:53]  They're like all a little mermaid.
[00:00:54]  You know Ariel?
[00:00:55]  How she had that whole like cave things where she put her trinkets?
[00:00:58]  You know so much about this fucking movie.
[00:01:00]  It's unbelievable.
[00:01:01]  When was the last time you're talking about a little mermaid?
[00:01:03]  Sam, yeah.
[00:01:04]  I got thinkamobops.
[00:01:06]  I don't know.
[00:01:06]  Wait, you don't even know these.
[00:01:07]  My girl.
[00:01:10]  Get it, you fucking Mexican.
[00:01:12]  Mike is cool.
[00:01:14]  I don't know about this.
[00:01:15]  No, Mike.
[00:01:17]  My girl loves Disney movies.
[00:01:18]  She re-watched it recently.
[00:01:20]  That's that one?
[00:01:21]  That's Aladdin.
[00:01:23]  Confuse these bitches, bro.
[00:01:25]  I mean, listen.
[00:01:28]  Jasmine is just sand, Ariel.
[00:01:29]  That's all it is.
[00:01:30]  Sand, Ariel.
[00:01:32]  Sand, Ariel.
[00:01:34]  You sand white.
[00:01:39]  Markets like Ariel was the white version of Jasmine.
[00:01:43]  It's like, how do we make Jasmine as white as possible?
[00:01:46]  Put that bitch in the ocean.
[00:01:48]  No water whatsoever.
[00:01:51]  Do you imagine how much stank Jasmine's pussy had on it?
[00:01:55]  Right?
[00:01:55]  Nobody talks about that.
[00:01:57]  Why?
[00:01:57]  Because it's hot.
[00:01:58]  It's hot.
[00:01:59]  Probably ain't water everywhere.
[00:02:00]  Right?
[00:02:00]  She got all them fucking silks on her.
[00:02:02]  Nah, but that shit was a little see-through.
[00:02:05]  Also, this is one of the only bitches that got to walk around the Middle East uncovered like that.
[00:02:09]  Where are you sitting on a rug?
[00:02:11]  It's not breathable.
[00:02:11]  It's not like the rug's made out of like some like, you know, Nike shit.
[00:02:16]  That's an old-ass rug, bro.
[00:02:17]  That's like back in the son.
[00:02:19]  That's back in the day, bro.
[00:02:20]  That rug is like your beard.
[00:02:22]  Shit is coarse, fam.
[00:02:25]  Real talk?
[00:02:26]  Oh, fuck.
[00:02:27]  Yeah, probably.
[00:02:28]  But Aladdin, that'd probably stunk too.
[00:02:31]  Why do you think?
[00:02:32]  Wearing them fucking MC hammer pants out there in the heat.
[00:02:39]  Yeah, man.
[00:02:41]  Yo, what?
[00:02:42]  Thank God you can't smell these cartoons, bro.
[00:02:45]  Who would smell the worst?
[00:02:46]  It might be Aladdin.
[00:02:47]  Oh, Ariel, that's salmon pussy.
[00:02:49]  This bitch coming right from the water.
[00:02:51]  And you know that my man is probably complaining, like, yo, did you wash?
[00:02:54]  And it's like, I just got legs.
[00:02:56]  I still smell like a cod.
[00:02:58]  Yo, I went to Disney World with my girl, and then she wanted to go to the princess thing.
[00:03:01]  And then we're taking pictures with the you want to show her someplace she'd never be.
[00:03:09]  Ain't no castles in Secaucus.
[00:03:14]  Yo, but she wanted to take pictures with like Aladdin and then these like these people pretending to be.
[00:03:20]  It was so fucking weird.
[00:03:21]  What do you mean?
[00:03:22]  First of all, it was like there's like actors hired to be Aladdin at Disney World and they're like in character the whole time.
[00:03:28]  And I'm like, fam, you a fucking loser.
[00:03:31]  You're never going to make it as an actor.
[00:03:33]  You're a fucking Disney mascot.
[00:03:35]  And I couldn't hide my disgust.
[00:03:37]  And then we went to go see Ariel next, and the bitch kept talking to me.
[00:03:40]  And Justin was like, the way you looked at her was like, you wanted to punch her in the face?
[00:03:45]  She was talking and character.
[00:03:46]  I couldn't understand this goofy bitch.
[00:03:48]  She sounded like she was underwater.
[00:03:49]  And I was just like, all right?
[00:03:52]  Like, I literally just go, okay.
[00:03:55]  And then she kept talking, but I was like, why are you doing this?
[00:03:59]  Oh, fuck.
[00:04:00]  And she didn't have the costume.
[00:04:01]  It was like a regular.
[00:04:02]  She was regular.
[00:04:03]  I don't remember what the bitch is wearing.
[00:04:05]  No, I mean, like, at least when, like, the guy is inside the Mickey Mouse.
[00:04:09]  Yeah.
[00:04:09]  He doesn't have to be seen by humans.
[00:04:11]  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:04:12]  I see who you are, bitch, yeah.
[00:04:13]  But Aladdin is just Aladdin.
[00:04:15]  Yeah, I see this motherfucker.
[00:04:16]  Gay as shit, too.
[00:04:17]  He was gay as shit.
[00:04:17]  Yeah.
[00:04:18]  Like, how'd you know?
[00:04:19]  I mean, my man was just when, like, they took a little, like, they took a little walk and he was just walking mad, wrist out, like a little, like a waiter with no tray.
[00:04:25]  You know what I mean?
[00:04:26]  Shit.
[00:04:28]  Do you think that's them trying to normalize gay to kids?
[00:04:31]  Yo, it might be.
[00:04:32]  Disney, I saw mad gay people working for Disney.
[00:04:35]  Really?
[00:04:35]  Like, mad gay people.
[00:04:36]  Yeah.
[00:04:37]  Yeah.
[00:04:37]  I was like, you really, your target demo ain't going to be into this.
[00:04:44]  What is their target demo?
[00:04:46]  It's not fucking New York, LA, Secret Atlanta.
[00:04:50]  It's not the gay havens.
[00:04:51]  It's not San Fran.
[00:04:52]  It's motherfucking Iowa.
[00:04:54]  Yeah.
[00:04:54]  The rest of Florida.
[00:04:56]  Who goes to Disney?
[00:04:57]  Can you explain Disney to me?
[00:04:58]  I'm going to be honest, it was dope.
[00:04:59]  I thought it should be horrible.
[00:05:01]  And the day we were looking at it, it's like Mad Parks.
[00:05:02]  And the day we went to that, like, Magic Kingdom, which is all the movies, I was like, this is miserable.
[00:05:07]  I was like wildly unhappy.
[00:05:09]  I didn't even try to hide it from my girl.
[00:05:10]  Wait a minute.
[00:05:11]  Magic Kingdom was the worst?
[00:05:12]  It's like castles and shit.
[00:05:13]  And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about this.
[00:05:15]  This is embarrassing for me to be here.
[00:05:17]  Because they don't get to see that regularly.
[00:05:18]  You see it as fake, so you're not into it.
[00:05:20]  And I also, this sounds condescending, but I was like, oh, these people don't like sports.
[00:05:25]  So like these are their heroes.
[00:05:27]  And they get to go watch that.
[00:05:28]  Like we watch sports.
[00:05:29]  You mean adults?
[00:05:30]  Like the adults that were there?
[00:05:31]  They're like, yeah, they're like adults who never were into sports.
[00:05:34]  So when they're wearing Mickey Mouse, that's their fucking jersey.
[00:05:38]  Yo, I really mouse overrated, fam.
[00:05:41]  Name as fuck, dog.
[00:05:43]  He's the Superman of cartoons.
[00:05:45]  Yo, this motherfucker, Captain America, dog.
[00:05:46]  Nothing but there you go.
[00:05:48]  No powers.
[00:05:48]  What does Mickey Mouse do?
[00:05:50]  I don't know.
[00:05:51]  Like, what is he even Ben in?
[00:05:53]  Eden, you would know some shit like this.
[00:05:54]  Does he giggle?
[00:05:55]  Literally, what does he do?
[00:05:56]  Is he like?
[00:05:58]  But what is his power?
[00:05:59]  Like, what is he charming?
[00:06:01]  Like, what is that?
[00:06:02]  The Bugs Bunny shit.
[00:06:05]  Bugs Bunny hilarious.
[00:06:06]  He's funny.
[00:06:06]  They just do.
[00:06:07]  He's charismatic.
[00:06:08]  What does Mickey Mouse do?
[00:06:09]  Mickey Mouse does everything.
[00:06:11]  What?
[00:06:12]  What does he actually do?
[00:06:13]  He does everything.
[00:06:14]  He's Mickey Mouse.
[00:06:14]  That's it.
[00:06:15]  No, no, no.
[00:06:16]  I ain't going to accept that, fam.
[00:06:17]  I ain't going to accept that.
[00:06:18]  We're not going to do that.
[00:06:19]  We're not going to do that, bro.
[00:06:20]  We're not going to prop up Mickey motherfucking mouse.
[00:06:22]  What does Bugs Bunny do?
[00:06:23]  He's hilarious.
[00:06:24]  He cross-dresses.
[00:06:26]  He foils hunters.
[00:06:28]  Motherfucking duck season, rabbit season, duck season.
[00:06:31]  Foiling hunters.
[00:06:31]  Yo, my man is a foil.
[00:06:33]  Yo, that motherfucker.
[00:06:34]  Reynolds rap out here.
[00:06:35]  Foil them, bro.
[00:06:36]  Like, take him off before you put in the microwave.
[00:06:40]  I know you're not trying to put Bugs Bunny in the microwave because your whole house is about to burn down.
[00:06:45]  It's that motherfucker full of foils, bro.
[00:06:47]  Hey, free, heat the oven at 350.
[00:06:49]  Bugs Bunny coming.
[00:06:50]  Oh, he's great.
[00:06:51]  You better poke some holes in Bugs Bunny before you throw him in there because it could get too hot.
[00:06:57]  Oh, you got leftover?
[00:06:58]  Put some Bugs Bunny on it.
[00:07:00]  Oh, you going to the cookout?
[00:07:01]  You don't got a plate?
[00:07:03]  You better put some Bugs Bunny on it.
[00:07:06]  You better put some Bugs.
[00:07:12]  But keep going.
[00:07:13]  Tell us how lit Bugs is.
[00:07:15]  Yo, Bugs, man.
[00:07:16]  My man got, what's that bitch in Space Jam?
[00:07:18]  The little rabbit bitch.
[00:07:19]  Babs.
[00:07:19]  Cute ass Babs.

=== Bugs Bunny Microwave (01:15) ===

[00:07:21]  Badass bitch.
[00:07:21]  Babs Bunny.
[00:07:22]  Lala Bunny.
[00:07:23]  La La Bunny.
[00:07:24]  Lala.
[00:07:25]  Is that her name?
[00:07:26]  I don't know.
[00:07:26]  I think it is Lala.
[00:07:27]  Oh, is it?
[00:07:29]  Yeah.
[00:07:30]  Bugs pulled her.
[00:07:31]  Who Mickey ever?
[00:07:31]  I thought Minnie was the girl.
[00:07:32]  Minnie, his sister, fam.
[00:07:33]  He's fucking his sister.
[00:07:35]  Wait a minute.
[00:07:36]  Mickey and Minnie.
[00:07:37]  I don't know.
[00:07:38]  Yo, anyway, all the point is this Mickey Mouse is mad, overrated.
[00:07:42]  He's trash.
[00:07:43]  He doesn't do anything well.
[00:07:44]  And we just like him.
[00:07:45]  He's on the fucking logo.
[00:07:46]  But yet that...
[00:07:47]  But that, there's no Bugs Bunny logo like that, though.
[00:07:49]  We got Mickey everywhere.
[00:07:51]  Yeah, there is a Bugs Bunny logo like that.
[00:07:53]  Playboy.
[00:07:54]  Ah, okay.
[00:07:55]  That's all, folks.
[00:07:56]  I wear that's all, folks shirt.
[00:07:57]  Fucks a book.
[00:07:58]  Yo, that's all is a bar.
[00:08:01]  You never said that after nothing.
[00:08:04]  Yo, my first threesome, I finished.
[00:08:07]  I said, that's all, folks.
[00:08:10]  And they were like, what?
[00:08:10]  And I was like, y'all young enough to know cartoons?
[00:08:22]  Yo, what's up?
[00:08:22]  This is Akash.
[00:08:23]  That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
[00:08:26]  If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant2.
[00:08:31]  Join the illest community on earth unless you're a social justice warrior.
[00:08:35]  Then you're just going to ruin the fun.