Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect relationship metrics through sexual activity, contrasting "AW rape" with "BW rape" using Bacardi analogies and Louis C.K. references. They argue legalizing prostitution commodifies sex, allowing men to value partners more deeply, while suggesting a "prostitute piggy bank" strategy for singles. The duo compares sexual performance to sports training, emphasizing that exposure to skilled partners improves technique, ultimately urging couples to have brutally honest conversations about orgasms to validate satisfaction within their Patreon community. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Moms Want Their Sons To Be Hoes00:01:27
Yo, we should start doing time BW before Weinstein and AW actor.
That's how all relationships should be measured right now.
Me and my girl got together one BW.
We got together in 2014 B-W.
B-W and A-W, bro.
Nah, Time Star's over.
Jesus, Chris.
Andrew, were you ever embarrassed with any girl that you brought home?
A lot of them.
A lot of them.
That's why we were getting extra drinks until Friday morning.
I didn't even want to introduce him to my mom when she was drunk.
No, but would you proudly bring home like a baddie and let your mom look at him?
Oh, hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Because you got to let your mom know what you're doing.
Every mom wants their kid to be a hoe.
Like, they act like they don't like their son.
Everyone wants their son.
Every mom wants their son because like moms low-key brag about it.
Like moms will be like, moms when the other like parent friends are around and they'll be like, so is Andrew dating?
And then he'll be like, oh, is it?
This guy is just bringing home everything.
This guy.
Wow.
That's it.
These women.
Straight up call you a hoe.
They'll have like little cute names for it.
Oh, my son's such a heartbreaker.
But yo, that's why we fuck boys because our moms want it.
If you're not getting no pussy, it's disappointing to your mom.
Every Mom Wants A Hoe Son00:02:54
Yeah.
Real time.
It's disappointing.
I'm not going to hold you.
Like, if I had a child and he wasn't getting no pussy, I'd be like, damn.
Like, I'd be trying to helbo him.
I'm like, yo, you don't want to take my car?
You don't want to spread his cologne?
I used to take this Toyota Sienna.
I remember I fucked some German chick by the Westside Highway on a Toyota Sienna.
My mom used to drive a bed.
Minivan fucking is probably all right.
Nah, minivan shit was all right.
Parked illegally.
Shit.
You got like, we got mad room.
You got to park illegally so you could be quick and it's not your fault.
Facts.
You know what I mean?
Like, you just be like, all right, let's get out of here because if a parking guy could come out and talk, come on, let me bust this out real quick.
Like, I got control.
You see, that's 23 years old.
It's like, come on now.
We out.
You see, there's pros and cons to fucking in the car, though, because like that, it makes the exit.
Way less awkward.
Jack from Titanic made fucking in the car cool because he did that shit.
So now it's romantic.
It's like, if you love Titanic, you can't make an argument that fucking the car is back.
Back in the future almost ruined it for everybody.
Why would happen back in the future?
Michael J. Fox's mom almost gets raped in the back of the car.
They don't say it.
They don't say it's rape.
But by AW standards, after Weinstein, it's rape.
That's the AW rape.
That ain't no BW rape.
Hey, that ain't B-W's, right?
That's just kicking game.
You know what I mean?
Back in 1988, BW.
This was just like flirting.
That's a BW rape.
So that's how you know it's rape.
A B-W, right?
Oh, that shit.
A B-W rape is rape rape.
Yeah.
AW rape is like, man, AW rape.
We didn't need to know the context.
We need to know the context.
But BW.
You got to hear both sides.
Yeah.
AW rapes, you got to hear both sides.
But BW rape.
He did that shit.
If you got convicted of rape, BW, like anyone.
Anything like 2001 BW is like, oh, no, that.
BW rape, you got gravel scars.
BW rape.
BW rape clothing is ripping and shit.
You know what I mean?
His fucking tracks are all.
There's like scratches on the back.
There's like fucking the nails are gone because you're dragging from the floor and shit.
Oh, yeah, no.
Please, God's safe.
People are yelling.
People are just like ignoring you, getting dragged out into a forest or some shit.
Oh, fuck, bro.
BW rape is something serious.
Yeah.
AW rape is like, ah.
That's different.
It's just different.
That's a different variety.
Rape, it is.
It's like, you know what it is?
Louis C.K. was AW rape.
That's the thing.
It's like, you ever have like ready Bacardi?
You ever have like Bacardi rum, just regular rum?
Yes.
And then there's like 151.
Yes.
Like, 151 is AW.
Take a shot at you.
You're like, oh, shit.
That's a VW rape, bro.
That's BW.
That's BW rape.
Bacardi wants to click on BW.
You feel that on the way in.
Different Varieties Of Rape00:10:10
That's a visible one.
But regular Bacardi, you just feel that the next day.
You're like, damn, I shouldn't have done that.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
We a gold story.
Oh, shit.
That is a hilarious way.
That's a hilarious way to look at it.
Is you feel it on the way in.
And now it's just you feel regretful the next day.
Just a little rape hangover.
The next day, you're like, I shouldn't have done that.
Not that bad taste in my mouth.
It takes a while for it to kick in.
Like, did I have how many shots did I have?
I was mixing.
What?
The fuck?
Oh, man.
That was some bars y'all got for the Patreon.
Oh, man.
Holy, holy shnikis.
Good stuff.
Anyway, don't rape.
Yeah, don't rape nobody.
Don't be out here raping, y'all.
That shit is whack.
BWAW don't matter.
It don't matter.
Any W.
The best pussy is giving pussy, not taking pussy.
To know.
Paid for.
There you go.
Paid for.
You can't rape if you pay.
Yo, real talk.
If you're single today, just hookers, you should be looking at it.
This is the best.
Oh, if you got money, if you paid.
Yeah.
If you paid, that's the one good thing about even if you don't save up, like all the money you would waste on hoes at bars, you put that toward a little prostitute piggy bank.
Prostitute piggy bank.
Prostitute piggy.
A prostitute piggy bank is so funny.
Yeah, I mean, just put it, put it in your Capital One savings account.
You allocate funds.
That's your pussy piggy bank.
Interest.
Yo, you want to know some crazy shit?
I was in Germany, right?
And I went to one of these whore houses because I just wanted to experience it as a white man does.
Right.
You know how we love these.
You do love experiences.
White people love experiences.
What are these folks doing?
So now American.
I'm walking around experiencing, surveying the goods, and I'm asking how much it was.
And it was very cheap for like, you know, blowjobs.
And we're talking about like $20, $40.
Yeah.
40 euros, whatever like that.
Right.
So incredibly cheap.
And I think in a weird way, and hear me out.
I think by legalizing prostitution, it makes men value a woman's company outside of sex more.
I don't need to hear you out.
That makes perfect sense.
Right, absolutely.
Perfect sense.
You guys get it.
You guys get it, but I'm saying maybe somebody who's listening, even a girl right now who's listening, right, who might object.
And I guess what I'm trying to say is once we've commodified the sex thing, which in our heads is already commodified, we know it's just get it out the system.
Right.
And if I know $20, $30, $40, I just get an amazing blowjob and then just get that out the way.
Now, the girl that I'm looking to spend time with, I'm not doing it for the blowjob.
I'm not doing it for the sex.
A lot of times we'll sacrifice personality and we'll like deal with shit that isn't that good so that we can get the sex.
But when we have easy access to that sex for a very reasonable price, I'm only choosing to spend time with a girl because I love her personality or I'm really into it.
So prostitution helps women get better relationships for sure.
100%.
They should be the most supportive of it.
That's definitely one way to look at it, you know, like especially like a lot of people that have control over their sexual urges and know how to like, you know, differentiate, okay, this is a hoe.
You know what I mean?
She's here to do a job.
Yes.
And even if at the very, at the smallest level, if you look at it as like an occupation, right?
Like most people don't love what they do.
Honestly, if you got a man and he's a job.
If you got a man and he fucks a prostitute, he loves your company.
Yeah.
That's all I'm saying.
He's just there for you.
I'm saying even if he cheats.
Yes.
He with you because he loves you.
He loves you.
You're not just an object to him.
You're just not a pussy.
You're way less.
You're way less.
He actually found the object.
That thing is the object.
You are the personality, the soul, the person.
The three-dimensional thing that he loves.
Yo, real talk, if your man fucks a prostitute, he loves you.
But if you're thinking in AW terms, though, like even the prostitutes are people, too.
Chill shit.
You're wilding right now.
You wilding right now.
Yo, these buckets aren't people today.
Holy shit.
This is before prostitutes are people.
This BPAP over here.
Fuck out of here.
Yo, you made that acronym Madquick.
I was calculating before I finished.
Shit, that was quick, bro.
BPAP, that was amazing.
God damn.
Yeah, nah, the, but shout out to prostitutes, man.
They did a job, bro.
Y'all really doing it.
And you made a good point, which is, like, we feel bad for prostitutes.
You're like, can you imagine doing that all day?
And it's like, yeah, I can imagine fucking all day.
I can do that.
I cannot imagine like working in a fucking steel mill all day or working at a bridge, repairing bridges, repairing bridges on.
Like that.
Or being a therapist and listening to some fucking white chick's problems all day.
Like that is harmful.
It's like, do you want to do that or do you want to do, do you want to suck 12 to 18 dicks a day?
No.
And make way more money tax-free.
Also, eat what you hunt, right?
So like if you get really good at your job, this is quick.
We're flagrant media needs a prostitution division, I think.
We're going to do this.
We need to do this.
This is a good idea.
Because think about this, right?
You're getting paid for the nut most times, right?
So you basically suck as much as you're good at sucking dick.
You suck as much dick as you are good at sucking dick, right?
It's capitalism, right?
So check this out.
Let's say you can find a way to make a dude nut within 10 sucks.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wow.
No, some girls are amazing.
You can find a way to make a dude nut within 10 sucks, right?
And let's say you're shitty and it takes you 100 sucks.
That girl could suck 10 dicks with the same amount of sucks as it takes you to suck one.
Is she a bigger whore?
She's actually sucking less dick, technically.
Yeah.
Yep.
Right?
She sucked 10 times the amount, but for 10 times less time.
So who is sucking more dick?
It's actually the equal amount of dick sucks.
I think at that point.
You don't measure.
You measure by not amount of sucks.
You measure by amount of dicks.
Right.
But I think we should flip that and we should measure by amount of sucks.
So like is a guy's body count going to be the same?
Like if I have sex with my girl every day, am I killing it harder than a guy who has sex with a different girl five times a week?
Well, that's different because that's acquisition of pussy and that's a different thing.
Okay, well, fucking valid point.
And I lost you as soon as you said acquisitional goes over my head.
I'm back on your head, ready?
I'm back with you right here.
Ready?
How good you are in bed is definitely not defined by how many girls you fuck.
It's about the amount of time you've put in.
Like there are girls that we've all been with.
Well, maybe not you, but there's girls that we've all been with.
I wouldn't mean that as a jab, but like that, like they had maybe one or two boyfriends, but like schooled them in the game of fucking and then nice in bed.
And then there's these girls that are hoes we can't fuck at all.
That's an experience.
It's like sports.
It's like, dude, you could be about coaching.
It's about great coaches.
It's about experiences.
I know people.
You want to be Raymond Bell and Dirk Nowitzki.
One team who put hours of time in the court.
Yeah.
Hours of time in the court, right?
But if the level of competition you're playing with is making you better, you're only going to get so good.
But if you're fucking Steph Curry and your dad's Del Curry and you get all the fucking great training and you could fucking shoot around with pros and be a ball boy for the Hornets and you're around the NBA environment your whole life, of course you're going to have a better shot at being a pro player, being the greatest shooter ever, all this other shit.
Same for sucking dick.
If you're around somebody who has taught you the finer details of how to suck a good dick, just like Steph Curry was around, the finer details of how to shoot a basketball.
Some become all-time greats.
Others just become really good.
You are fucking onto something here and let me confirm it.
I was hanging out with Weezy last night.
She came out to my show.
Weezy.
And a couple of her friends.
And she made a good point about sucking dick afterwards.
She was like, I've learned everything about sucking dick from my hoe friends and my gay friends.
If your girl does not have any hoe friends or gay friends, guaranteed she can't suck.
Sex is ass.
The gay dudes know how to do it.
Listen, that's what I'm saying.
And there's no holds barred with them.
The hoe girls know how to do shit too.
And they put that game on.
Now, if your girl only has like little preppy, prissy friends, guarantee all of them trash.
She's like, the pretty bitches that think that all you got to do is do is be pretty to get through the door.
They're right.
Now you can't get through the door.
You also get through the door.
You also can't get out.
Depends how much coaching I want to do.
Depends how much coach knows.
Son, this is what we need to figure out.
And we need to ask the women that are listening to the podcast because I sincerely want to know from you.
I want to know if you want us to be dead serious, honest about your abilities sexually.
And should we school you in the things that we want?
Because a lot of girls will say they want it, but then when we start telling them that they're not as good as they might be or the things that they need to do, they get really affected personally.
But what I say is, why don't you let us tell you what will make us happy so that that's out of the way?
I think the easy one is this is what I like.
Yes.
But sometimes it's like you say that and they don't really.
Can I keep it real?
Please.
It's because I don't want that honesty.
I don't want that honesty, bro.
Like when your woman starts being brutally honest with you, that shit is, you got to have some nuts to take some of that shit, especially when it comes to sex.
Because like, okay, right, right.
Sometimes I'd be wanting to ask a girl if she came, but I'd be like, I don't want to know if she came off.
But you know, here's the thing.
If you're fucking a girl, if you're fucking your girl good, you know when she came.
You know, like, you know when you give her the good one, right?
Why I Hate Brutal Honesty00:01:11
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I like confirmation.
Do you really want to know?
Do you really want to know how it compares to past experiences?
This ain't Catholic school.
I want that real motherfucking talk.
I want this shit.
I want confirmed.
Confirmed kill.
Just look at me and go, confirmed, kill, mission accomplished.
That's it.
You remember?
You know, when you play one of them video games, you got to do like this many things in a board?
That's me.
I need that.
Check them shits out.
We got it?
All right, we got it.
All right, we got it.
Yeah, moving on.
Yeah, for sure.
And you got to tell your girl that.
I tell my girl that.
Let me know.
And she does.
She lets me know.
I see it and she says it.
And I'm like, yes.
All right, we're good.
So how do I word this?
How do I word?
I want you to.
Put your finger in my ass.
Oh, wow.
We got that clip.
Get that clip.
Typing it out.
Give me that one fifth one.
Yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
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