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Aug. 19, 2023 - Fresh & Fit

03:37:22

Psychologist Exposes Dark Side Of Female Pyschology You NEED To Know!

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	We're live.
	What's up, guys?
	We're in the Fresh Way Podcast, man.
	Special edition show today.
	We're here with Dr.
	Orion Taraband from Psych Hacks.
	Let's get into it, guys.
	Let's go.
	Alright, and we are live.
	What's up, guys?
	Welcome to the Fresh and Fit Podcast, man.
	This is a special Saturday show.
	We were supposed to do this yesterday, but as you guys know, we had to make that announcement to kind of let you all know what was going on.
	Yeah.
	But we want to make sure that we get you guys the content, Hardest Worker Podcast, on YouTube, Rumble, etc.
	So, real quick announcements, rumble.com slash freshfit, as you guys know.
	We're still on YouTube.
	We're still going to post on YouTube, but we're demonetized, guys.
	So, if you really want to support us, keep the mission going so that we can bring you great guests like Dr.
	Terriban here.
	You guys got to support us over there on Rumble.
	Hit the join button for Locals and also join up as a subscriber.
	Five bucks a month.
	Locals is 20 bucks.
	25 bucks, man, we can fight back against the Matrix and protect free speech because Rumble is being attacked, guys, on the stock market.
	Purposely trying to short it, even though it's had one of the best years as far as revenue, views, growth, etc.
	Yeah, they don't want free speech, guys.
	They do not want you to be able to have a dissenting opinion.
	So go support us on there at rumble.com slash freshfit.
	It is literally the last home of free speech.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	And then also, guys, freshfit.locals.com, man.
	Join us there, guys.
	We need you to support more now than ever because, you know, we got the haters, man, coming after us.
	And then also check us out on Fresh Fit Store.
	And then we still have our Clips channels and all the other channels.
	They're demonetized.
	I'm going to figure out how we're going to go about posting on there.
	We're still going to give you all content.
	I'm going to be in conversations with YouTube.
	Hopefully we can resolve this amicably, but we'll figure it out.
	And then let's see here.
	But we're posting every day also on Spotify.
	And yeah, man, the show doesn't end, guys.
	The show does not end.
	And then Fresh Fit, what about your vlog?
	Yes guys, I'm going to think about the vlog channel too as well just because of our current status so stay tuned for that but I'll let you guys know for sure.
	And then check me out, guys.
	Oh.
	Guys, the network as well.
	That's still open.
	Join the network.
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	200K on the way.
	Let's go.
	Cool.
	And then don't worry, guys.
	I'll still be posting on FedReacts.
	I'll be bringing it to you tomorrow as well.
	So stay tuned for that.
	I'll probably have a show for y'all tomorrow.
	I got to figure out what case I'll cover.
	But yeah, we don't stop over here, guys.
	And then go get my book, Why Women Deserve Less.
	A little further ado.
	He talks about feminism extensively.
	And we have an expert in that as well in his own right.
	We are here with Dr.
	Orion Taraban of Psych Hacks, man.
	Welcome to the podcast.
	Welcome, man.
	Really glad to be here.
	Thanks for having me.
	Thanks for being patient with us.
	We were supposed to do this show yesterday.
	He showed up right on time.
	Yeah, man.
	Very punctual.
	And then that news happened, so we had to address that.
	But thank you for coming back.
	Yeah.
	I think you guys are handling it really well.
	I think this could be an opportunity.
	You reach millions of men.
	I listened to your announcement yesterday, and I could see how moved you are by your mission to reach out to help improve people's lives.
	And you have access to so many human beings on this planet.
	And right now they're looking to you and you both can be a model for how you can bear up under adversity with dignity and patience.
	And I didn't know much about your story and the fact that you were able to build this channel in less than three years.
	I mean, even your haters must find that to be impressive.
	And if you could do this from zero in three years, just think about how much you can do I know who you are.
	I'm a big supporter of your content.
	I like your content.
	I've watched it.
	One of my favorite things about you is that you use really good analogies to describe intersexual dynamics between the two genders.
	And I was like, yeah, this guy just gets it, man.
	This is awesome.
	But I want the audience to kind of know your professional background and just let them know your credentials and a little bit about yourself.
	Sure.
	So my name is Orion.
	I'm 40 years old.
	I was born and raised in Las Vegas.
	Psychology is actually my second or third career.
	I got started as an actor.
	I went to NYU, the Tisch School of the Arts, and I was a professional actor in New York City for about 11 years.
	I toured around the world and did a lot of interesting things that way.
	I decided I liked performing, but I didn't like being an actor, the lifestyle, so I decided to make a change, moved into psychology.
	There's way more than you might think in common between acting and psychology.
	Acting training was really good training for being a therapist.
	I moved to the Bay Area and got my doctorate in clinical psychology, which took about seven years.
	Since then, I've had a private practice.
	I specialize in men's mental health, so all my clients are men.
	And I started the Psych Hacks YouTube channel a little over two years ago, and we're closing it on 200,000 subscribers.
	Nice.
	Congratulations, man.
	Yeah, it's picking up pretty good right now.
	Yeah.
	You said earlier that you didn't like the actor lifestyle.
	What did you dislike about it the most?
	Because a lot of people look at it like, wait, what are you talking about?
	Wouldn't it be great to be running around, being models, getting money and being in movies and stuff like that?
	What did you not like about it?
	Well, for some people, that's an awesome lifestyle.
	I had to be honest with myself.
	I'm functionally an introvert.
	I can turn it on and bring the razzle-dazzle when I need to.
	But that kind of career, if you want to go to the highest levels, you always have to be on.
	You have to be going to all the parties.
	You have to be schmoozing.
	Be social, yeah.
	You don't get the jobs otherwise.
	I mean, it's really about who you know and what you look like, obviously, in Hollywood.
	So I just realized that I just wanted to act.
	I just wanted to perform.
	And I didn't have a lot of patience for all the parties and socializing.
	And I knew that it was going to hamper my career in the long run.
	Gotcha.
	Okay.
	You gotta play the game.
	Yeah.
	You enjoyed the acting, but you didn't like what was required to get the positions to do the acting, I guess.
	No, I was naive.
	When I first started out, I thought just because I was talented, I would make it.
	Like a lot of young people.
	Talent gets you so far, but it definitely doesn't get you all the way.
	Alright, be honest, bro.
	Do you have to sell your soul to make it in Hollywood now?
	Would I do it?
	No.
	Do you have to?
	Oh, I don't know.
	I'm not a Hollywood expert.
	So I think that you definitely need to know the right people in order to get certain jobs and to make certain contacts.
	I mean, as an actor, you're actually the least powerful person on a stage or a set.
	There's the producers, the casting directors, the directors, the owners of the theaters and the studios.
	So, uh, a lot of actors don't have a lot of power, even though they're the most visible component of the production.
	And obviously it takes a lot for productions to get off the ground.
	It's not just the actors doing everything.
	That makes sense.
	Um, and can you tell the people a little bit more about you, like your educational background, uh, as far as like, uh, you said you went to, so you went, you did your undergrad at NYU and then you did, uh, you got your doctorate, uh, Yeah, I got a master's and a doctorate in the Bay Area.
	I went to the California School of Professional Psychology where I earned both of those things.
	I joined the faculty shortly after I graduated.
	I taught there for a couple years.
	I also taught math back at the City University of New York because I was also a teacher for 20 years.
	That might be why I'm decent with the metaphors.
	I learned a long time ago that part of good teaching is a little entertainment.
	You have to get people engaged.
	You have to keep their attention or else whatever information or knowledge you might have is just not going to be received.
	Yeah.
	It won't be properly conveyed because they might not be ready to receive it.
	Edutainment is what they call it nowadays.
	Yeah.
	You have to be able to capture people's attention, for sure.
	Attention is the conduit through which things enter into our consciousness, and if that's blocked or distracted for whatever reason, you're not going to get very far.
	And then guys, also do me a favor.
	We're live streaming this on YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, Facebook, and Rumble.
	If you guys have questions for the show, send us a Rumble rant, or if I have a question for the doc, send us a Rumble rant, and we will definitely make sure that we, you know, answer the questions.
	We actually have a professional in the house, so you guys can go ahead and get your questions answered.
	And then, okay, and then can you explain to the audience real fast the difference between a psychologist versus a psychiatrist?
	Yeah, I was confused about this before I got into the profession.
	There's so many terms.
	Psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, psychotherapist.
	Yeah.
	between a psychiatrist and a psychologist, a psychiatrist goes to medical school.
	A psychiatrist is a medical doctor.
	And because of that training, that person is entitled to prescribe psychiatric medication, antidepressants, anti-anxiety pills, et cetera.
	A psychologist is like a PhD doctor.
	And this person can do lots of different things.
	Sometimes they go into research.
	Sometimes they go into academia.
	And sometimes, like me, they go into private practice there.
	They go into psychotherapy.
	The term psychotherapist is a meaningless term.
	Anybody can call themselves a psychotherapist.
	It doesn't have a legal basis.
	But, like, you need to have a license to be a psychologist.
	You need to have a license to be a psychiatrist.
	These are, like, legal professions that require certain degrees and other trainings to...
	Gotcha.
	And what is the governing body overall, psychiatrists and psychologists, in the United States?
	Is it, like, the American...
	I think for psychiatrists, it'd be the AMA, which is the American Medical Association.
	For psychologists, it's the APA, which is the American Psychological Association.
	Okay.
	And the two don't overlap at all?
	No.
	Two completely different governing bodies.
	The governing bodies are completely different, but they're not so separate as I just suggested, partly because psychologists really, really, really want to be a science.
	And for example, their diagnostic tools are based on, this is kind of in the weeds, but the DSM. AMA and APA, one is the American Medical Association.
	That's where psychiatrists are under, and then American Psychologists Association.
	You got it, exactly.
	Psychologists get their diagnostic tools from psychiatrists, so there's a little bit of overlap with respect to diagnosis.
	That psychologists basically use the definitions for mental illness that psychiatry has developed.
	So let's say Dr.
	Jordan Peterson, he doesn't fall under these because he's Canadian, right?
	That's right.
	So he's a whole different...
	Different licensing body, yeah.
	Yeah.
	But he would be...
	He's a psychologist in this.
	So he can go into, just like you said before, when you become a psychologist, you can get into research, you can get into...
	Academia, teaching.
	Therapy, academia.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	And in your case, you have your private therapy practice that you do, and you still maintain, I'm assuming, right?
	As well.
	So what made you segue into the YouTube world?
	How'd you get involved with that?
	Sure.
	So I had been working as a...
	I've been a psychologist in private practice for about six years.
	And as I said, I was specializing in men's mental health.
	And I had a full practice and I felt like I was doing a lot of good.
	Like I could see people were getting better as a consequence of their engagement with me.
	Not always, but almost always.
	And one of the things that...
	It was very satisfying to do that, you know, for sure.
	practice you work with 30 maybe 40 people a year now if you can really change even 30 or 40 people's lives for the better that's no small thing right but I figured that if what I was doing with these guys might be helpful for them well they're not so different from potentially millions of other men out there on the planet so maybe I could find some sort of platform some sort of conduit through which I can reach all these other men because Because if it works for these guys, it might work for all these other guys as well.
	And so that was really my motivation, is to try to have a bigger platform so that to the extent that I was doing good, that good could reach more people.
	The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce human suffering.
	Yeah.
	So with that said, what would you say is the current state of men's mental health in the West?
	You know, there's a lot of people always talk about mental health, mental health, but they tend to kind of forget the male perspective on it, right?
	Because, you know, men are taught to be stoic, hold it in, you know, man up, etc.
	Which, you know, we advocate here on this channel, especially in front of a woman, but, you know, obviously you should be able to open up and be able to deal with your problems with your brothers.
	your brothers or maybe with a professional that understands.
	But what would you say the state of men's mental health in the West today would be?
	I think the state of men's mental health is pretty poor.
	I think the state of mental health of human beings and their physical health on this planet is pretty bad right now.
	Absolutely.
	I think that stoicism gets a bad rap.
	I remember when you came down yesterday and you broke the news to me about what was going on.
	I noticed and I mentioned that you seem to be bearing up very well and I appreciated your stoicism and your eyes lit up.
	Like there is definitely a time and a place to kind of bear your cross and to carry on.
	Absolutely.
	And the powers that be that want to demonize that or say that that's a component of toxic masculinity, that's just not true and that's not helpful for guys.
	So when they say, men, go to therapy, I just want your opinion on this.
	Does that actually work most of the time or is it more like a, you know, go deal with this and go over there, stay over there?
	No, a lot of therapy doesn't work for guys.
	And that's, I think, partly why they're under consumers of therapy.
	Like, women go to therapists three to four times more often than men do.
	They are by far the most significant consumers of psychotherapy.
	I have my own pet theory for why this is.
	So, let me just ask you guys, what is your, like, association with therapy?
	What do you think happens in a therapy session?
	Yeah.
	Well, I've never had a therapy session, but what I would assume is...
	Even better, like what's your imagination about it?
	Yeah, so my imagination is you go in, you sit down, you lie on a couch like this, right?
	And you're just like telling the therapist your problem.
	And you know, you're just lying there and they're doodling in the back.
	No, I'm just kidding, not doodling in the back.
	But you get outside, they're listening to it, they're like, okay, yes, mm-hmm, all right, tell me more, etc.
	And it's almost, I mean, it depends on the therapist.
	Maybe they'll say, hey, you know, this is a solution to it.
	Or, hey, let me refer you to a psychiatrist maybe so you can get some medication.
	Or they're trying to get you to come back for more sessions.
	I've always been under the idea that therapy, it's not in their best interest to fix you up because it's like, no, they want you to keep coming back.
	Sure.
	Though I do definitely think it has its place.
	I don't know if it's a long-term solution to a long-term problem.
	Okay, great.
	So that's a wonderful place to start.
	One of the things that I mentioned on my website is that therapy should be time limited.
	Like sometimes you do have to take a knee, but you do eventually want to get back into the game.
	Like I'm not looking for professional patients, people who just want to support my income.
	There is plenty of problems in the world needing solving.
	Let's have you in, patch you up, and send you on your way.
	So, but I hear you.
	There does seem to be an economic disincentive for therapists to, like, cure their patients because then it's just one less client, right?
	Okay.
	Your association is, like, perfect classical psychoanalytic.
	The patient on the couch, the doctor with the notepad behind him, that's basically what Freud did.
	And psychoanalytic psychologists still do that today.
	And they don't really say that much.
	They just say, mm-hmm, I see.
	Tell me more.
	Okay.
	That's what Fresh does on dates.
	That's what I do on dates, man.
	Right on.
	You don't want to talk too much on a first date.
	You don't disabuse a woman of her fantasy of you.
	That's why she's there.
	Love you.
	Absolutely.
	So, and a lot of guys say, okay, I'm just going to lie there.
	This guy's going to say, uh-huh, I see, and I'm going to pay him 200, 300 bucks.
	How...
	How is that going to help my problem?
	That was the point, yeah.
	I get you.
	Now, why did this come to be?
	This is my pet theory.
	I'll be brief.
	So, Freud was a Jewish psychiatrist.
	He...
	Not back in the day.
	Back in the day, because of the antisemitism in Europe, he couldn't get clients.
	No men would go to see him.
	So he basically had, as his patients, the people that the institution didn't want to work with, which was actually mostly women.
	And so most of Freud's clients, a lot of Freud's clients, were women.
	And he was an entrepreneur.
	He was an experimenter.
	He was always trying new things.
	And he had this one patient.
	We know her as Anna Oh.
	And she kept coming for a while and didn't really help her all that much.
	And Freud was trying this, trying that, until one day she basically said, hey, listen, dude, just shut up.
	Just shut up and let me talk.
	And Freud was like, oh, okay, I can't see the harm of that.
	Maybe I'll try this.
	And so he just sat there quietly.
	She talked for an hour, and at the end she said, ah, I feel so much better now.
	And Freud was like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
	And thus the talking cure was born.
	But this is a female or a feminine coping strategy.
	Women tend to feel better when they talk about certain things.
	Yeah.
	When they get it out, it's like the act of talking about it is cathartic for them.
	Men are more problem solving.
	They don't understand how just talking and listening will help anyone because they see the problem as out there.
	The problem is that I'm broke.
	The problem is that I have no prospects with women.
	The problem is...
	I feel lonely.
	Yeah.
	Like, I need friends.
	I need to work.
	I need to get some game.
	I need something in the external world.
	Guys are more problem solutions.
	I need a tangible solution, typically, to their problem, versus with women, it's more, I just want to be able to speak and get my emotions out there, and that will make me feel a lot better versus for men.
	Exactly.
	We call them problem solving versus emotional coping strategies, right?
	Okay.
	But here's the thing, is that that seemed to work for women.
	Mm-hmm.
	And Freud really ran with it.
	And that became kind of the basis of psychoanalytic theory and psychotherapy for like 100 years afterwards.
	There's still this association in 2023.
	The therapist just sits there and scribbles and says, uh-huh, I see.
	Thank you.
	See you next week.
	But that came from a very specific time and a very specific place.
	And it seems to work for women.
	And it doesn't really seem to work for men.
	So, you know who comes to mind when you talk about therapy and men?
	FouseyTube.
	Yeah.
	And I think he's a great creator.
	Who?
	FouseyTube.
	He's like a YouTuber slash streamer now.
	He streams more on cake.
	But he's been in therapy for a while.
	But I don't see a solution to his problems because what do they do in therapy for the most part?
	Just talk about issues and...
	To me, it's kind of like, does it really work for men?
	Because I don't see it work for most men that go to therapy that I know.
	Yeah.
	Well, there's many different kinds of therapy.
	So I call what I do therapeutic coaching, which falls under the rubric of, let's say, cognitive behavioral therapy, which has a very strong behavioral component.
	My idea is that in order to feel better, you probably have to start doing something different.
	And so between every session, there's therapeutic assignments or behavioral experiments.
	The guy has to do something.
	The improvement is going to happen outside of the therapy office.
	And we'll see if That moves the ball a little further down the field.
	If not, we fiddle with the knobs and we keep going until the guy's flying on his own and then we taper off.
	Do other therapists take your more...
	Because I would say that's a very practical and masculine way to help men solve what they might be going through.
	Do a lot of other psychologists and therapists apply that self-accountability to their patients or clients?
	It's hard to know.
	I can't speak for all psychologists.
	I do know that there does seem to be...
	Sometimes I think therapy can kind of gaslight itself into thinking that it's more important than it really is.
	I gave the client a safe space to reflect on his or her emotional state and to express...
	Emotional support.
	That does have its time and a place, but that's generally not going to solve anybody's problem, in my opinion, long term.
	So, real quick.
	So, if Be More Practical is going to help men in therapy, how about this?
	What is the...
	One solution you would say, I guess, for men to do rather than go to therapy?
	Or do you still think therapy for some people is worth it?
	Like, for example, let's say to go to you versus somebody in the industry that wants to just take their money.
	What you do that makes you different from other people?
	Sure, that's a great question.
	One thing I tell people is reel out the confounds.
	Like, try to take yourself as far as you can on your own before you enlist to help with a professional because best case scenario, you don't need that professional at a certain point.
	So, Most people know in their heart of hearts the two or three things that they're doing that are really getting in their own way.
	And it's a better idea to stop doing the two or three things that are really getting in your way than develop like ten new habits that are good.
	Because the two or three things that are bad are probably more bad than the ten good things are good.
	Let's say I'm lazy and I like watching corn.
	I hear you.
	I think I understand.
	So, men have come to me for those reasons.
	Laziness is tough.
	Now, one thing that I might do if I was in a session with them is to begin to create some space.
	If you're a lazy person, then there's nothing I can do about it.
	It's like you're just lazy.
	That's how you are.
	That's how you think about it.
	I can't change who you are intrinsically.
	But maybe sometimes you fall into lazy behavior patterns.
	Maybe you just let something slide.
	Maybe you...
	Because you don't see that there's any consequences to doing that.
	So I create a bit of a distance between that self-attribution and who that person feels that he is.
	Because if you are lazy, you are dumb, what are you going to do to change that, right?
	But if you have lazy tendencies or you do things that get in your own way, those behaviors can be shifted.
	Gotcha.
	Does that make sense?
	So I can think of, for example, let's say I need to go work on something, maybe a book or maybe, for example, a business.
	But I play video games before I go work on a business.
	Playing the video games, I'm like, I'm kind of lazy now.
	So now I don't want to go work.
	Sometimes that's part of the process.
	I remember when I first wanted to get good at pickup, for example.
	feel confident enough to approach women in real life.
	And it was terrifying for me.
	I had this intention.
	I did some studies.
	You know, I looked on YouTube.
	I read some books.
	And I really wanted to increase my optionality with women.
	So I got dressed up on a Saturday night and I went down to the local meat market and I You know, I just had like a drink by myself one hour, drink by myself a second.
	And I left with my tail between my legs.
	And I went home and I felt like such a schmuck.
	You know, I felt ashamed of myself.
	I felt cowardly.
	I didn't like how I felt.
	But every Saturday I put that suit back on and I went out.
	And then every Saturday I came home feeling like a schmuck.
	Until that like ninth time in a row I went out.
	That ninth time in a row I went out and I was sitting there by myself and I could feel the same thing was about to happen again.
	And I saw this attractive woman from across the room and my mind said, okay, wait a minute, Orion.
	You know what's going to happen if you don't talk to this woman.
	With 100% certainty, you're going to go home and you're going to feel like a schmuck.
	You're going to feel like a coward.
	That's painful.
	Whatever that woman could do to you is not as bad as what you're going to do to yourself if you don't do this.
	And that was what changed the game for me.
	So it had to get worse before it gets better.
	So I've been there.
	I've played the video games before I sat down to work on the book.
	And I've done that enough times to know that when I do that, I feel like a schmuck.
	I don't feel proud of myself at the end of the day.
	I feel like I wasted a day of life.
	And we only get so many good days of our lives, man.
	We're here to get stuff done.
	That's what life is all about.
	So I'm hearing, it's okay to fail, but at some point, that failure needs to turn into like, oh, you know what?
	I'm tired of this pain.
	I need to make a change.
	Yes.
	And the problem why a lot of men don't get there is because they're failing and they're feeling the pain, but then they're anesthetizing themselves against that pain.
	Mmm.
	Through corn, or through drinking, or through getting high.
	Video games.
	Or through video games.
	Smoke weed every day.
	Or sometimes even more adaptively, they just do it through being hyper-concerned about making money.
	They just become workaholics.
	Now that's more adaptive than some of these other things I mentioned, but it's still kind of a way of anesthetizing them against their own pain.
	And pain is your greatest teacher.
	Pain is the gift that nobody wants.
	Pain will motivate you to...
	More than anything else.
	People are much more like, they'll do so much more to avoid pain than they will to secure pleasure.
	You know, and a controversial take, I've talked about this, you know, I talk about how my parents disciplined me when I was a kid growing up.
	If I did something stupid, I was slapped.
	And that negative reinforcement of pain would keep me from doing that undesirable behavior that my parents didn't want me to do, and it kept me straight in a straight line.
	And people were like, oh, you shouldn't be hitting kids.
	I mean, I think I turned out okay from it, because pain, like you said before, is a pretty...
	Pretty good reinforcement that what you're doing is wrong and people try to avoid pain typically.
	So if you're trying to avoid pain, maybe you should follow your parents' rules or at least not get caught.
	There's a time and a place.
	The line for child abuse is tissue damage.
	Yeah, I'm not talking about beating.
	Like, oh yeah, I'm going to attack him.
	But like, you know, they'd slap me or whatever when I was a kid.
	And I think I turned out okay for them.
	Well, if a kid is about to run off into traffic and the mom pulls him back and she just says, you know, good boys don't do that.
	The importance of the message gets lost on the child.
	There has to be some emotional content in order for the child to understand that this is a very important lesson that needs to be learned.
	It needs to be taken seriously.
	This isn't a game.
	Yeah.
	You were talking about approach anxiety earlier with going up to women and talking to them.
	Can you talk to us from a psychological perspective where that stems from?
	Where approach anxiety comes from?
	Why do you guys get that?
	Because I'm sure a lot of you guys have got almost, I think between all the platforms here, almost 10,000 y'all watching right now between Rumble and YouTube.
	And thank you guys.
	Like the video on YouTube.
	And also, do me a quick favor, guys.
	Go ahead and please subscribe on Rumble.
	In the chat, click that subscribe button.
	It's only five bucks, man.
	Join our locals.
	You guys know that we got demonetized.
	So if you guys want to support the channel, man, send in a Rumble rant and or subscribe to the channel and join locals.
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	So guys, please join.
	We're going to keep giving you all this content, man, and to keep the show going.
	Sorry.
	Approach anxiety.
	A bunch of guys here in the chat.
	You guys have all been there.
	You're at the bar.
	You're at the club.
	Just like the story that you were describing.
	You know, like, I'm going to go talk to girls.
	I'm going to make it happen.
	I'm going to get some phone numbers, etc.
	And then that, you know, paralysis by analysis.
	Oh, man, she's hot.
	But oh, she's there with two other girls.
	Are they her friends?
	Oh, no.
	There's a guy there.
	Is she with them?
	You know what?
	I'm thinking I'm going to go.
	No, no, no, I'm not.
	You sit there.
	You look around, etc.
	So many guys.
	I would argue that approach anxiety is probably the number one culprit for why so many guys suffer with women because they simply don't work the volume required to get the dating life that they want and it stems from approach anxiety.
	Can you tell us from a professional perspective Where does that fear come from?
	You do need some reps to get over it.
	And when I used to go out, I had this rule.
	So this might be a practical use to your viewers.
	Guys, listen up.
	That when I was going out to get numbers, I had a rule for myself that I had to approach within five seconds of seeing a woman that I felt authentically attracted to because I knew that if I hesitated more than five seconds, I was screwed.
	Yeah.
	I'm good to go.
	If she doesn't want to play for whatever reason, she'll just kind of like look over here and hit the ball out of bounds and you can take your ball and go talk to some other woman.
	It's not that big of a deal.
	Like I've approached over a thousand women.
	I've never had a drink thrown at me.
	I've never been slapped.
	I've never been yelled at.
	I've never been called a creep.
	Most women are actually, you can approach women in a way that leaves them feeling better as a consequence of the approach.
	And a lot of women, even if, I mean, a lot of women said no, I have a boyfriend, wouldn't give me the numbers, just par for the course.
	But most of them felt complimented by the approach.
	How would you go about it where, you know, you walk up to them and, because it's a very delicate dance, right?
	We've talked about this with Troy with Cold Approaching where you want to be able to come in and show the girl that you are interested from a romantic perspective without necessarily coming off as a weirdo while still illustrating some level of value and it's a very delicate dance and how to do that.
	How would you do that?
	Everyone's fear is like, I don't want a drink thrown on me or I don't want to be called a creep, etc.
	That's what keeps so many guys paralyzed.
	How would you go about doing it where you're able to still convey that attraction without coming off as needy, without coming off as weird, etc.?
	Sure.
	I talk about communicating sexual intent, which is something that I think you need to do in the first few minutes of a cold approach.
	I mean, approaches don't have to last for very long.
	They can be three minutes, five minutes max.
	And within that first three minutes, I have to make it clear that I'm not here as a friend.
	I'm not here as like a fellow citizen.
	I'm here because I like what I see.
	So sometimes it's a compliment on her appearance, like the effort that she put in, as opposed to, I like your eyes.
	It's like...
	Women put a lot of thought into that.
	It has to be an authentic compliment.
	It's not just like a line that you memorize.
	Sometimes the sexual intent can be done non-verbally.
	Alex Leon, who was on my show the other day, he's on the Naturals Lifestyles.
	Maybe you've heard of that.
	He talked about how just holding eye contact a little bit longer than is socially acceptable already communicates that there's something else that we're about here.
	So doesn't that be done with words, which is great because that's why people go to Ibiza.
	Not everyone speaks Spanish, but they still find a way to get together and hook up.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I mean, we're in Colombia and we're talking with girls and we don't speak Spanish, but you know, if you're attractive and body language says so much, right?
	Thankfully we have the advent of Google translate, et cetera, but a lot can be done with just maybe some hand gestures, a little bit of broken Spanish and, you know, just some eye contact and you can like, you know, convey immediately.
	Hey, I would argue she knows what's up even sooner when you don't have the language, when you have that language barrier.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	Can I talk about something?
	Please.
	This might be really interesting.
	So I mentioned how I started as an actor and how that actually really informed my work as a psychologist.
	So I went to school of the arts and I went to the experimental theater wing.
	The entire first semester of my acting training was spent playing one game.
	That's it.
	We played this one game for like four months straight.
	That's all we did.
	And I've since realized that this game is the fundamental game of human interaction.
	It's very simple.
	It's called the game of please no.
	There's always two people who play.
	I'll start.
	I can only say the word please.
	You go second.
	You can either say yes or no, and you have to start with no.
	And the goal of the game is for me to get your no into a yes using only the word please.
	So what this forces people to do is it very quickly, they come up against the limits of their own like semantic language.
	If the only word you can say is please, you have to rely on all other forms of communication like gesture, body posture, eye contact, expression, rhythm, duration, Like, you learn how to communicate non-verbally.
	And you learn to listen really well to people.
	Because the way someone tells you no always offers a clue as to what it would take to get them to say yes.
	You just need to kind of listen with a third ear.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	That's really good.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's actually a good point.
	So let's head to Rumble.
	We've got a bunch of chats here and new members joining rapidly.
	So shout out to you guys in the chat.
	Yeah.
	Guys, so actually, you know what?
	We'll stay on YouTube a little bit longer.
	Let's kill the Facebook, Twitch, and Twitter.
	Guys, come on over to YouTube or Rumble, rumble.com slash fresh and fit.
	And then we'll go over and we'll read the Rumble rants.
	Uh-huh.
	Oh, because the rants are crazy?
	Yeah.
	Let's go to Rumble.
	Okay, okay.
	All right, yeah.
	So the rants, I guess, are crazy.
	Guys, come on over to rumble, rumble.com slash freshafitguys, and we're going to read some of your guys' rants over there, because you guys sent in some crazy stuff, so it'll be funny.
	Let's go over.
	It's funny, you said when you hear no, it doesn't always mean like no in that context.
	So for example, let's say you're on a date with a chick, right?
	She's like, oh no, when you're touching like her body, she's like, oh, you're silly, no.
	But she doesn't mean no as in like, no, she's saying like, oh, I'm just being flirty and saying no, like playing around.
	So no, With intent, or for example, assertiveness does mean no, but if it's playful, if it's like banter back and forth, then it's more fun.
	That's right, because every word actually has two dimensions.
	There's a semantic meaning of a word, and there's the emotional content of the word.
	And containers contain anything that fit in them.
	So a word can contain any emotion you put in it.
	Like, you can say the word please seductively.
	You can say the word please threateningly.
	You can say the word please submissively.
	You can say the word please guiltily.
	You can say the word please joyfully.
	Like, there's so many different ways that you can say every single word.
	That's the information contained in that word.
	And not only that, I would argue, this comes from anecdotal data from my experience, right?
	The way you say things to women matters a lot over what is said to them.
	You would know.
	Yeah.
	I can't tell you, you know, so, man, we've interviewed well over 2,000 women now at this point.
	They're always hung up in the way I tell them pretty irrefutable truths versus the truth itself, the information.
	And what you just said about the way things are said, etc., is a big thing for women.
	They tend to communicate on context quite a bit.
	It's huge.
	And I think that's actually true for all people.
	Like, if I were to get in front of a crowded theater and say, all right, everybody...
	It's time to panic.
	The theater is on fire.
	We're all gonna die.
	Like, no one is going to be jumping out of their seats.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Because my affect doesn't match what I'm saying.
	So that's true for all people.
	But I think it is more true for women.
	Yes, absolutely.
	And this is where guys sometimes get into trouble, is once they get emotionally triggered, all they're doing is generally listening to the content.
	Or at least they're listening more to the emotional content than to the semantic information that you're providing.
	Yeah.
	Can I talk about the approach anxiety?
	Because I didn't really answer that question.
	So why do guys have approach anxiety?
	I think that there are two ways that we can approach this idea.
	One is from the perspective of evolutionary psychology.
	We know that women are the gatekeepers of sex, and sex is life.
	On some level, from an evolutionary standpoint, it's not just enough for the individual to not die.
	That individual has to be able to reproduce.
	Mm-hmm.
	They call that sexual selection, right?
	Now, when a woman says no to a man's sexual advances, for whatever reason, deep in his evolutionary programming, this woman is basically saying, I don't think that you are fit to reproduce.
	Bam.
	And therefore, I think it's okay for you to go extinct.
	Like, the threat of extinction lurks in a deep unconscious cellular level in men's unconscious because they understand what is really at stake.
	It's not just...
	It's just sex.
	It's just relationships.
	But on a deeper level, since sex is life, it's also kind of connected to life and death and the survival or the perpetuation of one's genes into perpetuity.
	Does that make sense?
	Man, that was literally one of the best explanations for it.
	I mean, yeah, it's literally a fear of you being told that your lineage does not deserve to continue.
	That's right.
	Is what it is.
	And that's like a deep-rooted biological fear.
	Very few guys are consciously thinking that.
	That's why I keep saying it's deeply unconscious.
	It's maybe in our biological heritage.
	She's saying, no, nigga.
	No!
	Would you say...
	Because I've always, like, asked women this, like, what are human beings put on Earth to do, right?
	And, you know, sometimes they say, a career!
	Have fun!
	I'm like, well, no, the real reason we're here from a biological, raw standpoint, right, outside of the modern conventions that we enjoy today, is to reproduce.
	And I think everything that we do in life, etc., typically is tied to that ability to reproduce at some point.
	whether you're a man and you're creating excess resources or you're a woman and you're keeping yourself up a certain level.
	All of it is done for sexual access to some degree, whether it's, you know, whether it's, you know, direct or indirect, because that's what we're put on earth to do.
	And, you know, people, like you said before, are going to run away from pain, right?
	And that pain a lot of times can stem from you being rejected and them saying, yo, your lineage is not going to be continued with me because the rejection is essentially her telling you that rejection is painful until you have enough of it.
	And then you can just receive it as information.
	Yeah.
	I call these the three P's of rejection.
	People, People think it's painful, it's personal, and it's permanent.
	And rejection needn't be any one of those three things.
	It's just information that right now you have...
	What are those three Ps again?
	Personal?
	Personal, painful, and permanent.
	Really good.
	Okay.
	I mean, think about it.
	It certainly can't be personal.
	The woman has spent, what, all of...
	30 seconds.
	She don't know you.
	Yeah.
	Two minutes with you.
	It can't be a personal rejection.
	It could be a marketing problem, like how you're dressed or how you're presenting yourself in that moment.
	It could be that she's just not into your look.
	Okay.
	Fair enough.
	She might have had a bad day.
	She might have.
	You never know.
	What was the last one?
	Permanent.
	Permanent.
	Yeah.
	That just because I failed now that I'm going to continue to fail indefinitely.
	And that's just not true.
	So once you get rejected about 100 times, it's just information.
	It's just, I don't want to play.
	It's like, okay, no problem.
	If you watch kids on the playground, they'll go to one kid, hey, you want to play Foursquare?
	And they'll say, no, I'm playing this.
	The kid doesn't just like...
	Collapse and cry.
	He just says, goes to say, you want to play four square?
	And he finds somebody until, yeah, okay, I'll play with you.
	And they go run off and play four square.
	And that's why you need to have that abundance mindset because one girl telling you no isn't in the world because it's not permanent.
	Not at all.
	But she might say yes.
	Yeah.
	And not only that, I think a lot of guys that might not be in this space or not understand the true psyche of female nature, they don't understand that.
	Number one, it's a numbers game.
	It's a volume game.
	And you're probably going to get rejected better than 90% of the time.
	Like 10% of guys, men that close 10% are like considered gods, right?
	So rejection is going to come.
	And the other thing too, I think, and I want to get your take on this, Doc.
	Guys tend to personalize it, like you said before, right?
	That the girl rejected him or whatever, but a girl can reject you because she just doesn't feel good that day.
	Maybe she's going through something.
	Maybe she literally just got off a phone call or whatever, and if you had talked to that girl maybe 20 minutes prior or another day, she would have given you a chance.
	A lot of the times, it's not even you.
	It's the person themselves that has something going on.
	Because since women are typically more...
	I want to get your take on women and emotion, et cetera, as well.
	But since women are more emotionally inclined in their thought process and their decision making, they might reject you off of things that have nothing to do with you.
	Well, that's certainly true.
	And rejection can occur throughout a relationship.
	Like a rejection can happen when you cold approach a woman, but a rejection could also happen after you've been out a couple of times and you text, hey, how was your week?
	What are you doing?
	Good point.
	Now, this is why I generally recommend that men, once they've established an emotional connection, they don't pursue.
	Because you don't really know where she's at emotionally whenever you send that text into the blue.
	She could be having a bad day and The way that emotions work is they color our perceptions.
	They switch our memory.
	They're full body, full psyche experiences.
	And you experience everything through the lens of that emotion once it becomes emotionally active, right?
	So if she's having a bad day, she sees your text, ah, this dude again, blowing up my phone.
	Misogony!
	So, it's much better to wait, if you can, for the woman to reach out because pretty much, regardless of the context or the pretext, when a woman reaches out to you out of the blue, she's basically saying, I've been missing you.
	I want to see you.
	I miss your presence.
	It's like, If you respond to her then and you begin to communicate with her then, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
	You're kind of guaranteed a yes in that place.
	Which is if you're just throwing darts blindly at the board, you don't really know where she's at emotionally whenever you reach out to her, especially in the early stages of the courtship process.
	It's funny because we use that a lot too.
	For example, let's say we go on a date with a girl, right?
	We have a good time, good experience.
	Let's say we smash her.
	We didn't smash.
	It doesn't really matter.
	But we won't text her back the next day.
	No.
	She has to do it first.
	Yeah.
	Sure.
	So I have a rule about that where after I see a woman, I wait six days until the next contact.
	Usually I don't have to wait that long.
	Usually they reach out to me before then.
	But if after six days go by, I will send what I call the courtesy text and I will reach out and say, hey, how are you going?
	And based on her response, I'll either plan another date or kick the can down the road.
	Typically they ask the question, how's your day going?
	Or what are you up to?
	Or they say, oh, I had a fun time last night.
	Can I see you?
	Typically.
	Yeah.
	You made a video that men need to be the adored.
	And I thought that was a fantastic video.
	Women need to be the adorer and men need to be the adored.
	But we live in a society where we adore the women and not the other way around.
	And I've talked about this ad nauseum on my pod as well, that women need to chase a man's validation and never the other way around.
	Can you talk about it from a psychological perspective?
	Because we kind of just touched on it now.
	Why men need to focus on being the adored and the women need to be the adorer?
	Sure.
	So it's cool that you watched my episodes, Myron.
	Of course, man.
	That's awesome.
	I got more questions on your stuff, too.
	I did my research.
	Cool.
	Well, you can learn more about this.
	I did an episode called The Balance of Attraction.
	Let me start there, which is basically like the axiom is no two people can like each other exactly the same amount.
	Like that is impossible, which means that in any relationship, one person likes the other person more and the other person likes the other person less.
	It's inevitable.
	Like sometimes that can change, that can go up and down.
	There are different gaps and things like that, but you can't ever be permanently equal.
	This person is the adorer, this person is the adored.
	There's actually pros and cons to both positions.
	One position isn't necessarily better than the other.
	And most people, not just women, most men and women want to be the adorer.
	People don't think that they do, but they want to be the adorer because the adorer gets to be with the one they love and what better experience is that?
	They're the one who get to have the emotional experience in the relationship.
	They get to wonder about what that person is doing when they're not around.
	They need to get excited when their phone rings and that person is on the phone.
	Or, what's going on?
	I'm nervous that he hasn't called or she hasn't texted.
	People often want that kind of, we call it romance, but that emotional experience when it comes to their relationships.
	On the other hand, the adored doesn't really have that.
	The adored, this person gets to be with the one they love.
	This person gets to be loved by the one they're with.
	It's a different experience.
	And this is why often, and this happens to both men and women, uh, let's put it from the woman's perspective.
	A woman might chase after a guy who kind of doesn't really care about her, kind of doesn't, treats her like an option, not really a priority.
	And then she's eventually like, oh, this is, I am tired of this.
	I'm just going to go find some other guy.
	And so she finds some other guy who dotes on her completely.
	Now the roles have switched.
	She's the adored and he's the adorer.
	And that might be a welcome change from what she was used to experiencing with the first guy.
	But ultimately, she's going to get bored in that situation because most people want that emotional experience.
	But women generally.
	generally seek it more than men with respect to their relationships.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	I think it's been said that you can make a woman feel anything except bored.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	And so a lot of the value that they derive from relationships is the emotional experience.
	I think that high value guys, to the extent that they're successful with men, they can do two things.
	It's what they can do for women with respect to resources and lifestyle, and what they can do to women with respect to the tingles and emotional experience.
	And so best if you can do both at the same time.
	Yeah, then you're unstoppable.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	But it's hard for women to be the adored because it's kind of just you have to sit there and you don't really feel anything.
	A lot of people say when they get that, yeah, he's a nice guy, but I just felt something was missing.
	Yeah, the chemistry.
	The chemistry wasn't there.
	Exactly.
	And when the women say that nine out of ten times, that means the guy probably pedestalized her to some degree.
	She feels as though she's better than him.
	And it's her nonchalant way of saying, hey, you're nice and everything else like that, but I just wasn't feeling it.
	And people get mad at me for saying this, but I've said that women typically tend to be terrible people when they have the leverage.
	And what I mean by terrible people is like...
	They're not going to respect you to the same extent.
	You're not going to get the best out of her because you're not getting an emotional investment.
	And to get the best out of a woman, unfortunately, you need to get an emotional investment.
	And I don't think a lot of guys understand that or anything just by me giving her all this attention.
	And that's a great point that you made.
	The adored, a lot of the times, doesn't feel that.
	They don't feel much of anything.
	It's like, somebody doesn't call, it's like, I wasn't thinking about that person anyway, so it's no skin off my back.
	So they have more power, they have more control.
	So that's the pros of being the adored, but they don't have the emotional experience.
	And for the women, they need that more.
	I agree, yeah.
	So from a psychological perspective, how much more emotionally driven are women than men?
	And their pursuit of relationships and their decision making.
	We always come to this general idea that women are more emotional, men are more rational.
	Can we go into a little bit more detail on that and women's yearn and need for an emotional connection so it's a really hammering home for the audience that you need to stimulate that?
	Yeah, it's really hard to know deep down.
	Men definitely have emotions.
	Yeah, of course.
	We're often socialized not to express them and oftentimes that stoic If suppression is adaptive, like it's something that we should do, I think it generally is a good thing.
	So it's hard to say deep down who is more emotional.
	Women are certainly acculturated to be more emotionally expressive than men, but that doesn't necessarily mean that their emotional experience is more intense or varied than men's are, per se.
	Would you say emotions, for them, is a much more important...
	How do I say this?
	Ingredients in the recipe of attraction than it is for men.
	They need to be more emotionally invested in that relationship than the man for the relationship to stick through and last long.
	I think so.
	This is kind of more based take care.
	I would argue, you said adore and adoree, right?
	That the guy, if he's like a player or wants to have that multiple connection with girls, has to go back and forth between both places.
	And if you can do that successfully, he can capture her heart and her emotions, but at the same time, come back to being that guy that's just like stoic.
	Oh, you're saying so he goes back and forth between being the adored and then adoring her, but when you adore her, it's got to be in short bursts.
	You're giving her scraps.
	Back and forth, back and forth, and then it's like, alright, I'm chilling.
	You put her in the adored situation for a very small period of time, and then you immediately take back the frame, and you become the adored.
	Exactly.
	But that's an advanced level of base game you gotta have.
	That could work.
	I think men are generally better at compartmentalizing than women are, and I think to be a player, you do have to compartmentalize.
	That's true.
	That's a very good analogy there with the door-and-dory.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And then, that's a good point that you made.
	Can you speak to that a little bit more, that players have to be able to compartmentalize?
	Well, you got to keep your story straight.
	That's the hardest part, bro.
	Real quick, we'll take a quick break here and read some of these rants because I know you guys have been waiting.
	Guys, do me a favor.
	The chat is loving Psychax, bro.
	I told y'all that this was going to be a great interview.
	Don't worry, guys.
	I still got a bunch of questions here, man.
	So we're going to hold them captive here.
	So I'm going to read a couple of these rants.
	Jacob, B-I-T-W, thank you to everyone supporting the podcast.
	Liking the video goes a long way.
	Thank you guys so much.
	Yep.
	Pastor Walter Weeks.
	And guys, if you haven't already, please do me a favor.
	Hit that subscribe button in the chat.
	You can see it if you're on the web app.
	Could you show them real quick?
	If you're on the web app, click subscribe in the bottom there in the chat.
	It's only five bucks, man.
	Support the channel.
	So we're going to go ahead and get you guys emotes very soon.
	Hit that subscribe button there at the bottom of the chat.
	If you're on the mobile app, right?
	It's not in the iOS app.
	It's on the mobile app.
	And it's going to work.
	It's...
	Adaptations are going to come very soon, probably next week or two for you guys on that.
	But subscribe, it's only five bucks.
	And also sub to his channel as well on YouTube.
	It's down below as well.
	Yes, link below.
	Cool.
	And then also, guys, join Locals, man.
	It's only 20 bucks.
	So with 25 bucks, you're going to help us maintain the podcast and keep it going, man.
	Yep.
	Pastor Walter Weeks.
	And yes, I told her I got a girl.
	I love y'all.
	I learned how to be honest.
	Even told my girl I can't be lying and fuck one girl.
	I used to lie.
	Now I'm truthful to them.
	She's very submissive.
	And listen.
	There you go.
	Oh!
	With honesty.
	With women.
	Keeping it real.
	Okay.
	It does help.
	Passer Walter Weeks.
	I went out with this girl and don't like y'all.
	Last night took her out to eat and to a hookah lounge and fuck her after she texted her.
	If I got home at 2am I should wait for another text or text her.
	Bro, text her, bro.
	Oh, that don't like y'all.
	Well, for one, I mean, her liking us is relevant to your situation, bro.
	I mean, you're just trying to smash, so who cares?
	Yeah, it doesn't matter, bro.
	Most girls are not going to like the type of stuff that we say, guys.
	See, they like us until they meet us.
	It's kind of like, you see a clip, oh, they're misogynist, and they meet us and it's like, damn, they're actually pretty cool.
	Yeah.
	Realm goes, keep your heads up, man.
	It won't be easy, but we need to build another platform eventually that can rival YouTube.
	You have my support, and I'm sure many more.
	Thank you so much, Real Romeo.
	It's a good concept, but yeah.
	Prince of Texas goes, as-salamu alaykum, God bless.
	Don't let them get you down.
	You will be golden IA. I appreciate that.
	Come be me!
	Built different consent.
	Started to own company, a credit score from 5704 in one year.
	Keep it up, FNF. Good job, bro.
	That's what we're talking about.
	Excellent score.
	Keep it the good work.
	Gentlemen, they'll never be able to cancel you.
	Chris is still a bum.
	He definitely is still a bum.
	Yeah, where is he?
	He's being a bum.
	A&P made a video about us, surprisingly, to turn off comments.
	What that should tell you.
	I wonder why.
	Yeah, they're probably in there editing comments and making it look a certain way.
	But, dude, I think the mask is off now at this point that they don't offer value.
	You know what I mean?
	And they're not saving no lives.
	We are.
	The real ones, no.
	Yeah, dude.
	Right now, in the past 53 minutes, we've provided more value with Psychax than they've provided probably in the past fucking year.
	Even I'm learning.
	Yeah.
	Madara, so thank you so much, though.
	I appreciate that.
	Marriage, cause, divorce.
	Based on our understanding of human psychology, do you think a traditional 50-year marriage is too long, stable, boring, unnatural, and unrealistic for most millennials?
	Gen Z. That's a very good question, actually.
	It's tough.
	People are living a long time.
	And a lot of our romanticization of long-term relationships is based on, okay, there's three guys in this village.
	Two of them are kind of stinky and old, so I can help you survive the winter.
	You might as well stay with me.
	Divorce was non-existent or highly stigmatized.
	I don't think that people necessarily were happier just because they were staying married longer.
	My grandparents got divorced in their 60s.
	That's when my grandmother said that her life began.
	So let's not necessarily romanticize previous generations.
	I do think that there might be I mean, clearly the traditional institution of marriage isn't working for a lot of people.
	I mean, 40% of first marriages end in divorce, 55% of marriages overall end in divorce.
	Those are absolutely abysmal statistics.
	It would be very, very difficult to motivate a rational person, especially a rational man, to move into marriage given some of the incentives and the laws in place with respect to that institution.
	So I think that we can approach different ways of partnering.
	I think that's kind of one of the Opportunities of this day and age is that we're kind of liberating ourselves from tradition in a lot of ways, but we don't really have anything better yet.
	And so we're kind of in this in-between state.
	There's a lot of confusion.
	There's a lot of uncertainty.
	But sometimes things have to fall apart before other things can be built.
	And I don't see why we can't have different modes of relating that work for different types of folks that still meet the needs of both men and women.
	Interesting.
	Okay.
	Good question, yeah.
	We got here...
	Can I say one thing about this?
	Where I got this idea, there was this woman I read, she talked about how, I think it was in traditional Nigerian culture, there were 13 different forms of marriage in that culture.
	Like, it wasn't just one-size-fits-all.
	There were 13 civilly-recognized unions.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	And a lot of that had to do with the economic powers of that society.
	Like people who had resources and power could kind of dictate different civil and marital arrangements for that society, which kind of makes sense.
	It's like, why don't we open up the possibility of creating relationships that work for people as opposed to trying to fit everybody into this one size fits all?
	What would some of those relationship dynamics be like?
	Would it be like one is where a guy has a bunch of different wives?
	Sure.
	That's one of them.
	Maybe the other way around, polygamy versus polyamory, all that other stuff.
	Would that be what it is?
	I didn't see any polyandry in that one, but polygamy was one of them.
	Another one had to do with like inheritance that you could marry somebody, but have sex with somebody else for the purposes of reproduction.
	But that child would legally be these people's children and the property would go through that line.
	So it actually got pretty nuanced and complex with respect to the law and property and inheritance.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Because you brought, you bringing in assets and children and everything else.
	And okay.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	That's pretty complex.
	Yeah.
	And I guess they probably had these relationships set up in a certain way to benefit that specific society, I guess.
	Exactly.
	Which kind of makes sense.
	Why not tailor the relationships to the people in the society as opposed to saying, no, it's just this forever for everybody.
	And if you can't do it, then there's something wrong with you.
	Interesting.
	Okay.
	That's different.
	Yeah.
	I have enough families here to stay.
	Absolutely, man.
	Thank you so much.
	We got marriage-caused divorce based on understanding of human psychology.
	Oh, I read that one.
	From marriage-caused divorce.
	And then another one.
	Do women have healthier and more logical expectations of marriage, i.e.
	it's a short-term thing and filing for divorce is fine once they have achieved their goals such as diamond ring house kids?
	So he's saying, do women have healthier and more logical expectations of marriage?
	What would your take be on that?
	Sure.
	So you mentioned a few minutes ago about men are rational and women are emotional.
	Yeah.
	I don't know, man.
	It's like, if you observe the way that women interact in the sexual marketplace, I don't see that they're irrational.
	Okay.
	So one of my principles is that fouling is part of the game.
	Like, imagine playing a basketball game and you were committed to never making a foul.
	It'd be very hard to be competitive.
	It'd be very hard to win.
	And the idea here is that you foul strategically and intentionally in the service of your ultimate goals, the win, right?
	Now, if we remove all moral judgment from what we see in the sexual marketplace, we can see that a lot of what women do is rational.
	It's like when I'm young and hot, when I have the highest sexual marketplace value, I'm going to prioritize other things.
	I'm going to prioritize experience or genetics and And then, as my sexual marketplace value dwindles as I get older, I'm going to prioritize different things, and I'm going to try to lock down a lifetime of provision at the last moment when I might have more power in the dynamic over a man.
	The game really changes at 30.
	30 is my turning point, where the average man's sexual marketplace value exceeds the average woman's sexual marketplace value for the very first time.
	This is enormous.
	It switches right around 30, which is why the average age of marriage, first marriage in this country is 29.
	That's rational.
	That woman is securing a long-term commitment for herself at the last moment when she enjoyed a more privileged position relative to the power dynamic.
	You should be that man.
	Absolutely.
	That man will continue to rise, especially if he plays his cards right.
	And she just hit the jackpot.
	Yeah.
	When I said emotional before, I meant as in with everything they do with their decision-making, et cetera.
	But yes, when it comes to men, though, they need that emotional stimulation within the relationship.
	The man that they're picking to some degree provides some utility, which obviously shows that their decision-making with the man is important.
	There's a rational component of it.
	That guy could fulfill something, whether it's an experience, provisioning, an emotional connection.
	He's attractive.
	He has some social status.
	You have to provide value.
	You have to provide value.
	Women date and mate for gain.
	They want value.
	But that also means the flip side of that is that men mate and date for acceptable loss.
	Say that one more.
	So I agree.
	Women date for value, 100% agree.
	For gain.
	Yeah, for gain.
	Now think about it, like for profit.
	Think about it in profit, like money.
	Profit is when your revenue exceeds your expenses.
	Yep.
	So you're taking out more than you're putting in.
	Absolutely.
	All right.
	Women couldn't date for gain if they were taking out, if they were putting in more than they were taking out.
	Absolutely.
	So the flip side of women mating and dating for gain is that it forces men more or less to mate or date for acceptable loss.
	Hmm.
	Like, there's going to be some diminution in resources, time, commitment, like opportunity, at the very least.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Women play to not lose versus men play to win.
	Well in this case most men are playing to lose.
	The fact that they're gonna lose with a woman no matter what basically.
	Kinda.
	But some losses are acceptable and some losses are unacceptable.
	I mean as in like they're going balls to the wall to like win.
	They're okay with losing here and there but as long as they get one win It mitigates all the losses versus with the women.
	It's like, I'm never going to lose.
	I'm going to play to always put myself in a leverage position to always win to some degree.
	Get something out of this.
	I can see that.
	Yeah.
	And the extent that the woman is getting more out of the relationship than she's putting in, which is dating for gain, the flip side must be true for women, for men.
	Nobody has a problem with the statement, women mate and date for gain, but a lot of people have the problem with the statement that men mate and date for acceptable loss.
	Yeah.
	That's a good point.
	Men date for acceptable loss.
	Because guys kind of know that it's...
	You know, guys, they know in the back of their head subconsciously that when they deal with females, like, you're going to lose and you're going to lose some, right?
	You win some, you lose some is the phrase that a lot of guys will use when they're talking with women, right?
	But, like, girls, it's like, if they lose, it's a problem.
	They're on TikTok complaining about it.
	They're venting to their girlfriends.
	And we give...
	Females, an open kind of door to go ahead and vent their frustrations on the dating marketplace because it's acceptable.
	But if a guy went on TikTok and complained about all the times he gets rejected, he would get laughed off the fucking screen.
	That is a double standard, but I do think it's very stupid for women to do that because who chose those men?
	Agreed.
	All you're doing when women rant about, or when people rant about their partner, is basically advertising, I'm a bad judge of character.
	Yeah, literally.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	But we never penalize them for it.
	We say, don't worry, you go queen, that guy's a toxic fuckboy.
	We will demonize the man, versus looking at the individual that's complaining that picked that man, is what I've realized.
	Yeah, that happens a lot.
	Women socialize differently than men do.
	I mean, I've dated lots of women and they've gone out with their girlfriends and they've expressed their support and then come home privately and told me, oh, this woman just makes terrible choices.
	But no one is going to say anything to this woman because I would be judged by the coterie of other women if I were to ask her to consider her contribution to the difficulty.
	So when they get together, they're just looking for a cosign.
	The sister of Uber Alice.
	Yeah, that's what Rolo said.
	Shout out to him.
	The committee.
	Yeah, the committee.
	What else do we got here?
	Entrepreneurial Cars.
	You brought up a point I just want to address real quick about...
	Basically, you said, take out the moral compass out of, like, you know, women's strategies, and it's rational.
	Yeah.
	Would you say that, like, because of finding a mate, should guys get angry or understand that, listen, girls are going to do what they do, and I can't stop it.
	It's just a part of how they find a rational sense to do things.
	Okay.
	I think that anger is mostly a wasted emotion.
	Anger is a terrible master but a powerful servant.
	Like men need to learn how to channel.
	Can you say that one more time?
	Anger is a terrible master, but a powerful servant.
	Men need to learn how to use that anger and channel it into constructive action.
	But just expressing anger is pointless.
	It makes you feel big and strong in the moment, like a bull, but The bull has actually lost control the moment he's given over into anger.
	Who really has control is the bullfighter who's waving the cape and can direct the bull wherever the bullfighter wants the bull to go.
	And that generally doesn't end well for the bull.
	So, like, men need to learn how to channel that emotional energy into constructive action as opposed to just erupting.
	That's going to make them feel more impotent than anything in the long run.
	Nice.
	Anger is a terrible master, but a powerful servant.
	You want it to work for you.
	Because there is a time and a place for you to say, enough!
	I'm tired of this!
	Never again!
	And that's actually the beginning of real change in most people's lives.
	You have to get angry often.
	Before things get better.
	Because that anger is one of the only forces that is sufficiently powerful enough to overcome behavioral inertia that keeps people mired in their misery.
	Nice.
	Does that make sense?
	Fantastic.
	Well said.
	No, great.
	And I'm going to steal that from you because I think that's...
	Guys, and I'll tell you this because there's been...
	I used to have anger problems, right?
	And be...
	I would let it control me to a degree, and sometimes I wouldn't use it productively, but now I've been able to really, like, focus on, like, if I get angry, I take that as fuel and go right to the gym and use that to stimulate a better workout, be able to put myself in a more painful situation that I normally would tolerate thanks to that added energy, right, from the anger.
	Use it as motivation.
	And I think if guys are able to figure out this skill set of channeling it from A master into a servant, like you just described in your phrase here, I think we'd be all better off.
	I mean, we wouldn't have school shooters.
	We wouldn't have guys doing the crazy things that they do from anger and lack of being understood, etc.
	Men would be better off in general.
	A man that can control his emotions can literally move the world.
	But if he can't, he will ruin the world.
	Well, you have to master yourself first.
	Yeah.
	Absolutely.
	Or else you're not going to be of use to anyone because you're not even of use to yourself yet.
	So, absolutely.
	Walter, I don't know if I answered your question.
	Could you ask?
	That was perfect.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	That was great because a lot of guys in the space, they get mad because of how women act.
	I'm like, bro, why get mad?
	Because you understand the truth now.
	Thank you.
	So, another line I have is that where anger is, understanding isn't.
	To the extent that you understand reality, you do not have to be angry.
	Emotion in general, especially anger, is actually feedback from the universe that your model of reality does not actually align with reality.
	And anger is a form of pain that manifests itself when our models of reality and reality actually come into contact and friction.
	Something isn't lining up.
	The problem is when people are so arrogant, they double down on their model and they say, no, this is not how it should be.
	Yeah.
	Where was that written?
	Why is the idea of reality in your mind the way that reality needs to look?
	We need to be scientists.
	An objective scientist goes to nature and says, teach me.
	What should my model of reality be?
	By looking very closely, very carefully and non-judgmentally at the world around him.
	And building that model carefully from actual observation and contact with reality.
	Would you say that's what the red pill accomplishes?
	Where it explains things that might have frustrated you prior because you were unaware of them or you didn't know that they existed or they connect dots that you might have not seen, right?
	And I guess obviously, you know, we described what we call red pill rage, right?
	You get this stuff and you're like, what the hell?
	And you're kind of figuring it out.
	But at some point, right, after, you know, The smoke dissipates, etc.
	You're able to be like, okay, I can see clearly now.
	I'm not going to be angry at women for what they are or what they'll never be to me, which is like an idealistic lover.
	A lot of guys want their women to love them like their mom, almost unconditionally for them.
	But the reality is women love you under what we said before, value gained or the ability to gain value.
	See, because I take it as I understand the truth behind how women operate.
	I never get upset.
	Have you ever seen me get upset at a woman ever?
	Yeah.
	Because I'm like, yo, this is what it is.
	Cool.
	At least I know now.
	But you have to understand them, which takes time, right?
	But understanding, now I'm truly free because now I understand how women operate.
	I don't get mad.
	What's the point of getting mad?
	Yeah, that's the sign of complete understanding.
	I made an episode about this called The Truth About the Red Pill.
	And I do think, as far as I can tell, that once a man becomes more aware of some of these truths and some of these realities, he does inevitably seem to pass through a red pill rage.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And here's the thing.
	Red pill rage means that you've swallowed the pill, but you haven't digested it yet.
	Red pill rage means the pill is stuck in your throat.
	And that's what it sounds like.
	They're so angry.
	They're just like spitting nonsensically.
	It's like, keep swallowing, my dude.
	Keep swallowing and you'll digest it and we'll integrate it.
	And then when you understand, it is what it is.
	And you can just make better choices because you see reality clearly.
	Yeah.
	Like, a sign that you see reality clearly is that you're successful.
	You have good, loving relationships with the people around you, men and women.
	Your businesses are thriving.
	Like, you can't fake that.
	Yeah.
	It's like, when I go into, like, the world of, like, you know, outside versus, like, more blueprint mindset, I understand what it is.
	I don't get mad at it, but I understand, and for me understanding, I could go into a room with people that I don't really want to say I align with their values, but...
	I know to get a certain outcome, I have to be in this environment, play the game, and then come out with a W because I know and I understand what it really is.
	So I don't get mad at it at all.
	Yeah, well said.
	And a lot of that knowledge is kept from men.
	Yes.
	It's kept...
	I don't know if there's an active conspiracy, but I didn't have a lot of experience when I was younger, and so I went to TVs and movies, and I thought that by watching these That I could learn about what women wanted, and that was just not true at all.
	I would often, in my teenage years, in my young 20s, I would approach women that I knew that I respected, and I'd say, what do women want?
	And they'd tell me all kinds of answers, but they never once told me they wanted a rich guy, or a tall guy, or a handsome guy.
	Yeah, that's true.
	want more than just those three things according to one study that i do like to cite attractive women want everything yeah that's a fun study they these take us through that one these researchers well a lot of psychological research i think is ridiculous it's like study finds that having several close friends improves your quality of life it's like yeah why do we need a study for that Exactly.
	It's usually so obvious or so esoteric that nobody cares about.
	But there was one study that was done by some guys that asked a question that a lot of guys wanted to know.
	It's like, what do beautiful women want?
	Like, what do attractive women want?
	And so what they did is they asked a bunch of guys to rate a few thousand women in terms of both their faces and their appearance in terms of just their physical attractiveness.
	And they took the ones that were like rated nine or above.
	So the really attractive women.
	Okay.
	They said yes to every single thing on the survey.
	Wow.
	Attractive women wanted everything.
	Question, did they give the survey to average looking girls as well, or was it only they gave it to the most attractive?
	That would be really interesting.
	I guarantee the average chicks would have probably said the same.
	I want everything too!
	They might.
	I mean, I've been really consistently surprised when, through my own personal interactions with some women, that most women seem to feel like, and you know, God bless them.
	They can get the best deal that they can.
	He's really nice about it.
	God bless them.
	The best deal that they can get.
	But one finding that was interesting is that these attractive women apparently wanted everything, but they didn't want everything equally.
	Some things did get left out more frequently than others.
	And the three things that were at the bottom were kindness, loyalty, and intelligence.
	Those were the three that apparently, I don't even think that they were significant correlations.
	So those were the three things that, of course, women would like those more than to not have them in their potential mate.
	Yeah.
	But those seem to be the three that they were most willing to dispense with.
	Intelligence.
	Kindness.
	Kindness.
	Loyalty.
	Wow.
	Yeah, the back is going crazy.
	Well, what was the number one thing that they desired?
	Was it status?
	I've always been under their impression, or at least what I've realized with very attractive women is the number one amplifier when it comes to being attractive as a guy is absolutely status, right?
	You look at a celeb, look at a Leonardo DiCaprio.
	Let's be honest here.
	If he didn't do Titanic and he was a regular guy walking down the street and we didn't know him for his acting accolades, you wouldn't really...
	He'd be like, oh yeah, he's an average guy.
	He's like 5'8", 5'9".
	Maybe a younger Leo might have been more attractive than the average guy, but he's fairly average in a degree.
	Physique, height, all this other stuff.
	But his status of who he is, etc., puts him with the most attractive women in the world where he's literally using them like toys.
	25 years old, done.
	Next one, right?
	And he just moves on and moves on and he's able to do this through his status.
	Well, that's certainly true.
	I've often said that the best way to catch a woman is to have a woman because women want what other women want.
	Absolutely.
	And so if Leo or some other man can be publicly seen with a dime piece on his arm, all other women are going to say, well...
	If I can get that guy, they're going to look at me the way that I'm looking at her right now.
	And that's going to make me feel really good.
	So I think in that study, the most important endorsed item was sexiness.
	It was actually like physical attractiveness.
	And I think they defined it as sexiness.
	The women did.
	Yeah.
	Interesting.
	Oh.
	So, basically, if they got clout, to them they're sexy.
	Yeah.
	Well, that is true.
	That's called the halo effect.
	Did they clarify, like, that it was, like, strictly physical features or status?
	I mean, not that they would admit that, because, I mean...
	You ever heard that Gucci Mane song, Money Made Me Handsome?
	Yeah.
	The money and status of clout?
	Yeah.
	You sexy now, nigga!
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I want you!
	That's true.
	That's the halo effect, is that once we decide that this person is high status, then we assume they're also intelligent and kind and patient and just a really wonderful human being.
	And that's not true at all.
	In fact, the more privileged a person is in the sexual marketplace, men and women, the more they tend towards narcissistic tendencies.
	Yeah.
	In general.
	You know, from what I see, right, women are more interested in the way that they look.
	They're more interested in themselves.
	They typically tend to look at what can I gain out of the situation.
	We talked earlier about how women always make sure that they operate at a net positive when dealing with the men versus men are more okay with dealing with a net negative if required to get what they want.
	Would you say that women in general have more narcissistic tendencies than men do?
	Okay, so this is what I'll say about this.
	So all people start out narcissistic.
	Like a child is essentially narcissistic.
	It can't be otherwise.
	It's not able to empathize.
	It's not able to take another person's perspective and see things from a different angle.
	The boy or the girl is egocentric.
	He or she thinks everything is about him or her.
	The crying baby example.
	What do you mean?
	No, I mean like, because you're saying when you're a baby and the baby's crying, he doesn't give a fuck about you getting up at 2 or 3 in the morning.
	Oh, yeah, exactly.
	I need something.
	It's the most important thing in the entire universe.
	Exactly.
	So all children behave that way.
	And all children are kind of tyrants and they kind of have to be tyrants for a while.
	It's like you can't reason with it.
	You can't speak to it.
	But eventually as it grows up and it learns language, you can kind of break their spirit a little bit.
	You don't want to break it too much because...
	Who wants a broken person?
	Good point.
	But you do have to kind of injure the child's narcissism appropriately as he or she ages.
	So, most people grow out of their narcissism.
	However, if you're a very attractive woman, that's almost like being a young man with a trust fund.
	It's like, can you imagine if you never had to like...
	Work a crappy job.
	If you had to be paid minimum wage, if you had a cold call and 200 people hung up on you, Like, it teaches you some humility a little bit.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So, like, a really rich man is like a really beautiful woman.
	And the game is just really different.
	I remember a long time ago, I was dating this extremely physically attractive woman.
	She was a Brazilian lingerie model.
	And we had a number of disagreements.
	Mm-hmm.
	She thought that people were just so kind and giving.
	And everywhere she went, men especially were just like offering to give her things.
	And she thought that's because she was a good person.
	And that these men could see that, like on the surface, her goodness.
	We did a couple of experiments that kind of disabused her of this.
	Like, for example, there was a guy that she knew casually that was hitting her up, trying to get her to come out to New York while she's dating me in California.
	And I said, you know, this is a little sketchy.
	She's like, what do you mind?
	He's just being friendly.
	You know, he just cares about me.
	And I was like, okay, here's the experiment.
	Say you're interested in coming, but ask him where you're going to sleep.
	And he hemmed and hawed and was like, oh, I guess you can sleep on the couch.
	You know, we'll get you a separate room.
	I was like, yeah, you have to understand that he's doing this because he's trying to get your pants, sweetie.
	But she couldn't really see it at the time.
	She was 23, 24.
	She was also young.
	The prefrontal cortex apparently doesn't stop developing or maturing until 25.
	Yeah, you got it.
	So...
	We'll give her a little bit of a pass there.
	But if you just have money, you don't understand how hard it is for a lot of people who don't have it.
	And if you're extremely beautiful as a woman, you don't understand how hard it is in many other respects.
	You have a very distorted view of humanity.
	Because people always want things from you.
	Yeah.
	Like, how many rich guys can really be sure who their friends truly are?
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah.
	I have a friend, actually, that kind of fits that example.
	He actually moved to Columbia.
	Super successful guy.
	Always, always had girls around him.
	Had guys, people asking for stuff.
	But he realized that, like...
	His whole life was built around people trying to take it from him.
	And he said, you know what?
	I just need to get away.
	Move to Colombia.
	And it's like, no one knows him.
	He doesn't speak any Spanish.
	So it's kind of like, alright.
	It's kind of like, I'm separate from my reality of like, hey bro, I need this.
	I need that.
	It's kind of like, you know what?
	He stepped away.
	Now he's like, okay, now I can see for what it was.
	People wouldn't want to use him for his stuff.
	All the time.
	So it happens.
	Would you say that Because what we were just talking about with women thinking that people are nice and all this other stuff.
	I've always said women don't mature until they start buying their own drinks at the bar.
	That is true.
	It's a much less professional and well put together Statement that you would say.
	Well, the game changes when that happens.
	That's why you go to some places and you'll see the 40-year-old women, the 50-year-old women, they are aggressive because they're not going to get approached otherwise.
	Blue martini?
	It's coming for your ass.
	They're older.
	There you go.
	They adapt.
	No woman would buy her own drink if she didn't have to.
	I don't think any man would buy his own drink if he didn't have to, potentially.
	That's why I don't get angry at women.
	It's like if I... Could have that, too.
	I would probably want it as well.
	Yeah.
	Like, I would love to date for a game.
	I'd love to marry a high-status heiress.
	You know, there's many things I want to do than sell my time for money.
	Yeah.
	No, true.
	That'd be great.
	And I think once guys understand that, like, And I've always used the analogy, right?
	To like kind of put guys, because a lot of guys get angry at women for doing the things that they do, exercising hypergamy, not giving, you know, them a chance or blah, blah, blah.
	And what I always tell guys is imagine that, you know, as soon as you turn 18, Cam Kardashian sent you a DM and said, I'll fly you out to LA and we can hang out.
	Or, you know, hot girls always DM'd you and sent you money on Zelle or gave you cash apps, etc.
	You would think that the world is hunky-dory and fantastic too.
	And you would think, yo, I'm special just because I'm a man and I'm 18.
	And I deserve it.
	And I deserve it.
	Imagine never being told no.
	Yeah.
	Whatever you wanted, yes.
	Yeah.
	This woman, she told me I was the first man who ever told her no in her life.
	I love hearing that.
	Yeah.
	No.
	Yeah.
	What were the things, just so the audience could learn, what were the things that you noticed that you had to say no a lot to when dealing with an attractive woman?
	Because I've always told guys on this podcast that nines and tens a lot of the times come with headaches that a lot of guys are not prepared to deal with.
	And one of them is being able to say no Even when you might not want to say no, because you need to be able to let her know who the boss is.
	What would you say are some of the common things that guys have to deal with when they're dealing with very attractive women and the power of saying no?
	Well, in my personal experience, it's this strange expectation that she can access my attention whenever she wants.
	Is that sometimes I am working.
	Sometimes I'm working out.
	Sometimes I'm with my friends.
	But the idea that I am going to respond at a moment's notice whenever she needs anything, whenever she reaches out.
	I generally don't text throughout the day.
	That's just a rule that I have.
	I will text in the evenings.
	And I just use the phone generally for making logistics.
	It's better.
	Well, this is an oversimplification, but attention is for women what sex is for men.
	And when men are giving their attention without their presence, without the opportunity for the sexual encounter, they're basically like getting screwed without being bought a drink.
	You know what I'm saying?
	That's the equivalent from a male's perspective.
	Also, if she can get that attention hit from the phone, you've made the interaction to see you just redundant and unnecessary.
	That's why texting girls all day before a date And she's like, oh, well, you know, my cat died.
	Which is a reasonable response.
	But sometimes it's just like, come on.
	You know you're going to come on a date.
	But because you lost interest, you're like, eh.
	I've got a better thing than I could do.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	This woman tested a lot.
	I remember one time we got into...
	The attractive Brazilian girl.
	Yeah, we got into a disagreement.
	And she got on this really fancy club outfit.
	And was like, well, I'm just going to go out.
	And I was like, all right.
	And she was like, what?
	You're not going to stop me?
	Exactly.
	She's like, you're not going to stop me?
	He's like, no.
	Go ahead.
	Have fun.
	Have fun.
	And she was scratching her head and she took the clothes off and stayed at home.
	Nice.
	It didn't work.
	I mean, she was clearly trying to trigger some sort of jealousy or anger reaction.
	So that's also something that you have to deal with.
	Did you kind of imply that if you go...
	Through your actions, right?
	We talked about the power of body language earlier.
	Did you kind of imply that like, no, I'm not angry, but if you go, there's going to be consequences.
	Was that like an implied thing, which is why she went in and changed immediately?
	No, not in the moment.
	Because with these types of things, with respect to like boundary settings with relationships, I call them 30-second conversations.
	Let me explain how to do this.
	So let's say on a very basic one, you have a boundary around infidelity.
	This is how you have a 30-second conversation with a woman.
	You say, hey, I just want you to know That if you ever do cheat on me, I will find out eventually.
	And when I do, it will be the end of our relationship.
	Boom, done.
	Do you understand?
	Yes.
	Great.
	We never have to talk about this again.
	Yeah.
	She doesn't have...
	I don't have to believe that she's going to be faithful.
	She just has to believe that I'm going to do what I say.
	Yes.
	She just has to believe that I'm going to implement the consequence as previously discussed.
	And I never have to bring that up again.
	Mm-hmm.
	She understands there's a consent.
	Boom, let's go about our business.
	Okay.
	Do you give that to her after you guys are officially in a relationship or when you guys are talking?
	What stage do you drop that on them?
	With that, it's generally deeper into the relationship when there's an expectation for that kind of behavior.
	Gotcha.
	I've always said that cheating can be very...
	Many different things.
	And I would argue, and I'd love to get your take on this, I'd argue the threshold for cheating for women is much greater than for men.
	For example, I think a girl...
	Advertising herself on the internet, putting herself in situations that might allow men to court her, etc.
	That could be constituted as cheating, especially if you're not present.
	You gave the example with going to the club in a sexy outfit.
	I would consider that as cheating.
	Some people might not agree with me on that or whatever, but I think since it's easier for women to get sex, I would argue as a by-part of them being able to get sex quickly, they also can cheat just as easily since the threshold to break is so simple for them.
	But I mean, I don't know.
	You might have different boundaries on it.
	That's my take on it.
	Well, different people have different boundaries, right?
	And one way that I thought about this, because actually in this relationship, there was a lot of jealousy coming from her, where I would interact with women.
	And she was like, well, guys, we'll just sleep with anything.
	And I was like, I need you to trust me.
	I can engage with a woman without doing anything I said I'm not going to do.
	So you guys were monogamous?
	Yes.
	And so in that situation, I felt more controlled and mistrusted inappropriately.
	And that became a problem for that relationship.
	So I want to be able to be trusted by the woman that I can talk to other women without doing anything inappropriate.
	And I'm going to extend that same trust to the women that I'm dating.
	But that's just me.
	Other people have different thresholds.
	What I do seem to see is that cheating means different things to different people.
	Like in that relationship, I heard the word emotional cheating for the first time.
	I had never heard of what emotional cheating was before.
	But I've since discovered that, again, this is going to be an overgeneralization, but men care more about a woman's sexual fidelity and women care more about a man's emotional fidelity.
	Yeah, agreed.
	men are willing to consider an open relationship, even if it's an asymmetrical open relationship, where the man will sleep with other women, but the women will remain monogamous to that one man, so long as she feels that she is the most special woman in his life.
	Yeah.
	Priority.
	Exactly.
	The idea about emotional cheating is that the woman is afraid that if a man becomes emotionally involved with somebody else, he's going to leave.
	Yeah.
	And then the resources go elsewhere.
	Right.
	It makes sense.
	It does happen.
	Yeah.
	See, I love how you handled that situation with your girl by just saying, go ahead, you can go.
	But you spoke to her without having to speak to her.
	That makes sense.
	Just by your response, she got it and she stayed home.
	That's brilliant.
	Question for you, Doc.
	If she had gone, what would have you done if she had gone?
	Well, I don't know.
	I don't know what I would do in that case.
	But what I would say is, if a woman has violated one of our understandings, then I just implement the consequence that I discussed previously.
	And that would be it.
	I don't have to get angry.
	Would that have constituted as cheating for you, personally?
	I mean, every guy has different boundaries.
	If a woman just went out to a club?
	The way she was dressed in that instance, do you think that would have constituted cheating in your eyes?
	For me, no.
	But I have different thresholds than you, and that's fine.
	Okay, okay.
	Okay, yeah.
	I'm a lot more restrictive with females.
	And I think the reason why is because I look at it that since women have, and I'd love to open this as a general discussion because a lot of people say, Myron, you have crazy boundaries.
	You're really restrictive, etc.
	And my reasoning for that is that since women have an abundance of options, the sexual marketplace is completely open to them.
	They can literally get a guy anytime they want.
	I think with unlimited access, you need to go ahead and match that level of unlimited access that they have and limit it significantly to a certain degree.
	Because you have to almost overcompensate for the options she has.
	And my thing is to deal with the current sexual marketplace in today's day and age where I don't have the social constructs of shame, family, religion, etc.
	We live in a deregulated sexual marketplace.
	Now I have to regulate the sexual marketplace for her.
	I'm solely responsible for regulating the sexual marketplace because ain't nobody else going to regulate it thanks to feminism.
	I put these boundaries in place to the point where I can mitigate the most risk.
	I know some guys can go ahead and accept a little bit more risk than others.
	But for me, I look at it like We live in an era and a time where women are incentivized to be hoes, and I need to do what I need to do and let her know that you can behave that way, but understand that I am not going to be here if you go ahead and participate in certain avenues that might put you in a situation that might hurt this relationship.
	You have unlimited access, I need to limit it.
	That's my job to a degree.
	Not limit it overtly, like, you can't do this, but limit it through my reaction to what you do with your unlimited access, if that makes sense.
	Well, yeah, that does make a lot of sense.
	I think you're talking about boundaries, and everyone can have boundaries in their relationships.
	And I think that's one way to do it.
	Another way to counter women's greater optionality in the sexual marketplace is, of course, to increase your own optionality in the marketplace.
	That's like the Cold War.
	You know, you got your nukes, I got my nukes.
	And so it creates a kind of a detente between the two people.
	I take her nukes away.
	And I just keep mine.
	You can try to do that.
	I'm the U.S. I'm taking everyone's nukes.
	This was a behavior that was not very characteristic of this woman.
	She wasn't somebody who would go out to clubs.
	She was angry at me in that moment and she was trying to provoke an emotional reaction.
	So context matters in this situation.
	It's like if you have a problem with a woman going to clubs, that's fine.
	But you probably shouldn't try to date a woman who goes to clubs every week.
	Yeah.
	then you're just getting into battles of control.
	And that's not what I think relationships are for.
	- Yeah. - That's neither one is really thriving.
	If you have to always be her parole officer and she always has to be your, you know, person on parole.
	- Yeah.
	- Yeah.
	I always say you never tell them they can't do something.
	You just tell them, if you do that, there's consequences.
	This is what I will not commit.
	This is what I will not tolerate.
	Everything has consequences.
	Absolutely.
	So that's my thing.
	I'll never tell them you can't do that.
	I'll just be like, okay, just understand that you're going to be single if you do some of these behaviors.
	And I tell them this on the onset kind of thing.
	I'm a bit more relaxed in my approach just because I can't control anybody or their actions.
	I just think that as a man, I got stuff going on.
	I got things I got to do.
	And to focus on what she's doing all the time is going to take off of my purpose and passion.
	So I don't want to deal with that.
	Absolutely.
	I'm coming up to you.
	I kind of like bring it up front.
	Hey, you know what?
	This is me.
	These are my standards here.
	Either you're cool or you're not.
	And I think if she actually is the...
	You said adoree.
	The adorer.
	The adorer.
	She wants to fulfill and satisfy you as a man.
	So she's going to say, you know what?
	Is it worth me losing this guy?
	No.
	So I won't do it.
	So...
	I'll give you an example.
	The chick I'm talking to right now, she wants to always please me.
	If anything comes across her mind, she may say, you know what, this might make him upset or mad at me.
	She won't even do it.
	But I didn't tell her not to do these things to be specific.
	I just said, hey, here's my standards here, and if you want to be with me, this is what it is.
	I think it's men's rights to say, these are my expectations or these are my boundaries in the relationship.
	And you should then allow the woman to be free.
	And if a woman then says, okay, well, I don't care.
	I'm willing to do this even in spite of the consequences.
	Well, then she didn't have a lot of respect or a lot of attraction for you anyway.
	So you might as well just let her go.
	Exactly.
	See, because again, you give people rope, they'll hang themselves.
	But once again, it's kind of like, if she respects you, she'll follow.
	She doesn't...
	That's a really good point.
	I actually like giving women a lot of freedom in the beginning.
	Me too.
	Because they often will tell on themselves.
	They'll hang themselves with too much rope.
	And so if you come off as too controlling or restrictive, you never really know if they're responding to those behaviors or if it's really kind of her personality or her temperament or how she is.
	Because they can play a game to fit what you want, but you don't know what that person is until they mess up.
	I also wanted to say one thing, too, to clarify, because I don't want guys, because a lot of people take things out of context, like, okay, Myra, I'm going to do what you said.
	Guys, what I do is...
	You made a fantastic point.
	You kind of have to let her be free in the beginning so you can get an idea of what she really is and how she really behaves.
	Because remember, you're vetting her.
	Then, when that conversation comes up and she's like, I want to be your girl or something like that, which I always think I should let girls ask them out, right?
	Never the other way around.
	Then you can go ahead and say your stipulations because if she's asking you, now you can dictate how the relationship is going to go because she's asking you and you're in the adored position and you're able to dictate your terms.
	That's when I say, well, it's going to be tough to be with a guy like me.
	I don't accept this.
	I don't accept this.
	I don't commit to women that do X, Y, Z things.
	And then she can make a conscious decision to say, okay, am I willing to give up these things for this guy?
	Well, the answer is going to be yes if she's asking you out 9 out of 10 times.
	So that's where you can go ahead and then you let these boundaries be known and you're going to have a higher success rate.
	But in the beginning, guys, you got a vetter for six months to a year so you know where she's even worthy of giving her that situation.
	That's a good timeline.
	I'll go even deeper.
	I plant a seed.
	You know the saying, what would Jesus do?
	And then people say, you know what?
	If God wouldn't do that, I wouldn't do it either.
	So I say, hey listen, would Walter approve of this?
	He won't.
	So I won't do it.
	I plant a seed.
	That's it.
	Real quick, we got 10,000 y'all watching on Rumble, man.
	So yo, on a Saturday, when we're not normally on, but this is a special episode because you guys can see from this conversation, we're going to give you guys a banger.
	So guys, from this point forward, We're going to read 20 and up Rumble Rants, right?
	But I will read the ones that came through and I'll keep flying through these because I still have a bunch more questions, man.
	This is fun.
	We'll keep going.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Awesome.
	I knew that people were going to enjoy this.
	About to turn 30, average looking, made 200K a year.
	Got a house and a nice car, etc.
	I'm also a Catholic and a virgin.
	I want to start dating.
	What advice would you give to a guy like me, Dr.
	Orion?
	Nice.
	Well, if you're mentioning that you're Catholic and you're a virgin, I suppose that you're saving yourself for marriage and that your religion is a very important aspect of your identity.
	I think that you should probably try to keep your eyes open on Sundays when you're in church.
	That's probably where you're going to find a woman who resonates with that lifestyle.
	And I think it's going to be very important for you to have a woman like that.
	And it's going to be very difficult for you to have the kind of relationship you want with a woman who isn't already in that tradition.
	Yeah.
	Do you think he should, in your opinion, right, do you think...
	I mean, if virginity is required and you refuse to do it before marriage, I respect that, but do you think he's setting himself up for potential disappointment and or failure by not being sexually experienced in such a sexualized, deregulated marketplace with modern day women?
	Well, I'll share a brief anecdote from my own life.
	So I remember when I, starting from eighth grade on, all The boys and girls were talking about was sex.
	It was always sex.
	And I had just started puberty.
	It made me very uncomfortable.
	But it was like two years of just sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
	When's it going to happen?
	Thinking about sex.
	Losing my virginity.
	Who's it going to be with?
	What's it going to be like?
	And I remember at 16, I lost my virginity to my girlfriend, who also lost her virginity to me.
	And I thought, was that it?
	Like, it was good, but it wasn't like the only thing you think about for two years good.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah.
	So it was...
	She messed up, bro.
	I did.
	I mean, you get better with practice, right?
	Yeah.
	But the point is, is that it was a letdown.
	And I don't see how it couldn't have been after two years of hype.
	And if that's after two years of hype, I can't imagine what it might be like after 16 years of hype.
	So there has to be some expectation management about that.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	What do we got here?
	And guys, thank you so much for the support, man.
	You guys really are real G's, man.
	Again, if you guys really, really want to help us out, man, hit that subscribe button.
	Join for five bucks.
	Become a member.
	We're going to get you guys some emotes here.
	I think Mo is pretty much putting some finishing touches on a few.
	And we're going to put those emotes in there for all the members.
	We've got to find a way to give credit to everyone joining with subs.
	We are.
	And I'm actually right now, guys, as we speak, I have some things in the works that Fresh doesn't even know about that's going to take the show to the next level.
	We don't stop.
	We're going to make this stuff even better from a production standpoint.
	I'm 29.
	I've always been confused about women and how to be a man until I came across the channel.
	Life is still hard, but I truly believe you guys saved me from my dark thoughts.
	Thank you.
	That's why we do what we do, my friend.
	And also just want to give him a Who's up next?
	Marriage cause divorce.
	Women often say they want a guy to be emotionally vulnerable.
	Why is this?
	Do they just want his secrets to bring about his downfall, e.g.
	in a future child custody battle?
	A bit like Samson Delisle.
	You know what, Doc?
	I'll let you take this because women always say that they want a vulnerable man.
	What's your take on this?
	Yeah, that's a tough one.
	I once read a paper that was called Why the People Closest to Us Hurt Us.
	And one of their primary arguments is that they have access to weaponry.
	And it led me to this idea of weaponized intimacy.
	It's like, why is it that when I'm...
	I haven't had a fight with a woman in years, but when I used to have a disagreement with her, she would bring up something that happened five years ago.
	Something that has nothing to do with what we're talking about, but was told in confidence in a vulnerable moment.
	So it's possible that when certain people are scared and flailing, they hit below the belt.
	And so I do think that we should be careful about who we confide in.
	Absolutely.
	I have a phrase that the captain can't complain.
	If the captain is stressed out and goes to his mates and say, oh man, I just don't know if we're going to get through this.
	The storm is coming down and the waves are really high and I'm just really nervous about how this is going to go.
	The mates are going to be like, mm-hmm.
	We've got to get off this ship, man.
	It's like they're going to be looking for the next rock that they can hop off.
	You said something profound.
	I really want to draw the audience's attention to that.
	The captain can't complain.
	Yes.
	What a fucking sound way of letting guys know.
	That you are the captain of the ship and your woman is one of the mates and you cannot sit there in the sea of uncertainty and sit there and be like, I don't know what we're going to do.
	It's a bad idea.
	When they panic, they might do a bunch of stuff.
	What a fucking profound statement.
	One of the things I talk about femininity is it's kind of like an incubator.
	It reflects.
	You give a woman one sperm, she'll give you back a whole baby.
	You know what I mean?
	The sun is the masculine principle in all spiritual traditions.
	The moon is the feminine principle.
	The moon reflects the light of the sun.
	It adds its silvery glow, but it basically faces the sun at all times and reflects back its light.
	What you give a woman, she will give back to you amplified.
	Yes.
	Okay.
	That's why men have to be very careful with their tone of voice, especially with women.
	Even a small bit of impatience can be reflected back to you as anger.
	So it's a good idea to try to clean your tone as much as possible, be the master of your emotional timbre, as it were.
	But yes, in my model of relationships, people have different models, but the man is the captain of the relationship, and the woman is the first mate.
	Which is a very important position on the ship, because the captain isn't always right.
	The captain has his blind spots and needs to be able to consult appropriately with someone who will advise him and give him the truth.
	But ultimately, it's the captain's call.
	Now, captains have problems.
	Captains have stresses.
	But you don't go to the mates with your problems.
	You go to other captains.
	Other captains can appreciate what you might be going through, and they're probably not going to bring it up four years later.
	If things go sideways.
	Because they understand.
	Absolutely.
	That's fantastic.
	I'm going to steal that one.
	I've also used the analogy that you're the pilot, she's your flight attendant.
	You know, similar concept.
	But yeah, I like the ship one because the sea is changing every day, right?
	Let's see here.
	Marriage cards where some independent boss babes say they need a more dominant alpha male before they will become more feminine.
	Is this the truth or would these boss babes still be masculine deep down?
	What's your take on that, Doc?
	I think that the bedroom plays by different rules than society.
	The bedroom is like the Wild West.
	It will never truly be civilized entirely because it's rooted in deep...
	It's partly animal.
	It's partly still wild.
	And what...
	Goes on behind closed doors, plays by different rules than what happens in the light of day.
	So it's very possible that women can be high-powered and competent and confident and boss babes in real life and want to be even dominated behind closed doors.
	I'll say it's a lot of times even more so.
	Actually, yeah.
	It's like I had a woman, a friend of mine, I dated briefly in college, and she later became a madam in a dungeon.
	Ha!
	She wasn't sleeping with the men, but she was doing all kinds of parasexual acts with them.
	We brought a girl on that did that professionally.
	Yeah.
	It was very strange, but yeah.
	She literally said, I have a dungeon.
	I was like, we were like, what the hell?
	These are men who are paying $400, $500 an hour and up.
	And this was like 15 years ago.
	So that's probably like $2,000 an hour by today's standards.
	Yeah.
	What were they paying her to do?
	To step on his balls?
	To catheterize him?
	To treat him like shit, basically?
	I mean, I think that if you reach a certain point and you can't have everything you want, the only experience you don't have is not being able to get what you want.
	The only experience you don't have if you have all the power is powerlessness.
	So it's the only place you can go on some level.
	And that's true for both men and women.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	That's why they say a lot of CEOs of companies go to these women for release.
	Yeah.
	You certainly have to be able to afford them.
	Yes.
	Buddha dog.
	I'm 19 doing HVAC. Currently making 40k a year, but dislike my job.
	Been thinking about the Army for benefits, overall cooler experience.
	Am I stupid?
	No, my friend.
	Nothing wrong with going into military.
	You get a bunch of benefits as well on the back end with the GI Bill and being able to get VA loans, etc.
	So nothing wrong with that.
	And you'll get some experience with an MLS. Who's up next?
	Nerf Escobar goes, thanks for all the value guys.
	Much love.
	Also, Fresh looks like Michael Blackson's black son.
	He definitely does.
	Thank you, brother.
	He black as hell.
	Alex 223, do women test higher in psychopathy than men?
	Is this the reason why they tend to be more attracted to dark triad traits in men?
	Shout out FNF. Good question.
	You know, I haven't read any research that says that women test higher in psychopathy than men.
	I think that the reason why...
	to men with dark triads is because they can easily mistake that for confidence.
	A guy who is Machiavellian and narcissistic literally cannot take the perspective of the person he's dealing with.
	Therefore, he doesn't have to care.
	Like a normal human being will usually consider how his or her actions will impact another human being.
	Narcissistic people don't have to do that.
	They're They're not encumbered by that.
	And so they kind of move through life like a wrecking ball, and it leaves smolder and ruin in its way.
	Unless their life experience has humbled them, maybe through their parents, etc., which we were talking before.
	Everyone is born narcissistic, right?
	The baby crying in the crib.
	That's true.
	Give me milk.
	And then we went into the situation with an attractive woman.
	A lot of times it's very difficult for them to build that.
	So it needs to be broken through life experience or something like that.
	Yes.
	A lot of beautiful women.
	We didn't get to finish that part.
	The reason why women like dark triad men is because it gives them the illusion of confidence and competence, but it doesn't come with the provision that they generally want.
	It doesn't come with the empathy and care that they generally want.
	Yeah.
	A wealthy guy is useless to a woman if he doesn't share that wealth with her.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So a guy might be competent and confident, but if he doesn't care enough to bring the woman in and nurture her within his space, he's useless to her in the long term.
	So she might fall for the attractiveness in the short term, and then she'll get dissatisfied.
	She'll fall in love with him and the potential in the dream.
	That does happen.
	Yeah.
	But isn't it crazy?
	She'll choose that guy, the bad boy, and then get mistreated and say, oh, I want to be a nice guy now.
	Yeah.
	Facts.
	Yeah.
	And that doesn't usually work, right?
	Yeah.
	Then the woman goes to the nice guy and she's bored.
	Yeah.
	Again.
	Yeah.
	Who's up next here?
	Okay, so Black Vet goes, I'm a retired vet.
	Never sub to no one, but help me so much.
	I will getting better on home, gym, and money.
	Even by the Myron Spanish book, my wife looked me crazy, but she not mad.
	25 years married.
	Congratulations to you, my friend.
	All right.
	AndrewGraph25, I didn't get the chance to view the emergency meeting live.
	I just want to say that you guys are the number one men's podcast by far.
	I'm with you guys till the end.
	You guys changed my life for the better.
	Thank you so much, Andrew.
	Shout out to you, Andrew.
	We're going to keep giving you all this value.
	Then Andre goes, GG33, saying that Logan Paul made the call to get y'all to demonetize a smidge.
	That's not true, guys.
	I can tell you guys that.
	Absolutely factual.
	It was not Logan, and I have irrefutable proof.
	It's not him at all.
	I heard that Myers-Briggs is not backed by empirical research and was started by two women.
	FFM is better.
	Gracilla, the 304 maker, states men can't love.
	Thoughts?
	My understanding is that Myers-Briggs is based on personality trait theory from Myers-Briggs and actually Carl Jung.
	So I think those are two men.
	Is it backed by empirical research?
	No.
	Probably, but it's like modern day astrology these days.
	And so people, I think, read more into it than is justified by the research.
	We got Purple Mayo goes, psych sessions are prostitution for women just exchanging the other party's main commodity.
	Men would pay women for box.
	Women would pay men to listen to them for hours.
	Okay.
	Big Herms, what books would you recommend for manipulating people for my own benefit?
	What the heck, bro?
	What kind of question is that?
	40 laws of power.
	Robert Green.
	Don't do that, man.
	All therapy can do is teach you how to cope with your problems and feed you pills.
	You can do that yourself without the pills with philosophy and improving fitness career-style skills.
	Okay.
	Bender, the offender, minor, first, y'all consider yourselves philanthropists.
	Saw that mercy meeting yesterday, and I genuinely believe that y'all are honest, hard-working gentlemen.
	Thank you so much, my friend.
	We're just trying to help y'all out, man.
	The Alpha Widow needs to also be a fitness brand.
	The pink, fresh, and fit in Vice City font on the wall would be a sick logo for a chain of gyms and clothing line.
	Also, let's crowdfund it.
	Yeah, I mean, I've thought about opening a gym before.
	I'll think about it.
	We could do Alpha Elite in Miami.
	Yeah.
	I like what Christian Guzman has set up over there.
	Hollywood Brian goes, I'm going on a walk for a first day trying to keep investment low, but how would I escalate and be fun in flirting situations like this?
	Shout out to the FNF Gang.
	Shout out to Dr.
	Orion, too.
	What's your take on this, Doc?
	On a first date, as I was saying earlier, it's a good idea to keep your mouth shut.
	A woman is there not because she likes you, but she likes the idea of you.
	She can't really know you yet.
	That's why it's a first date.
	So she's there because she has a fantasy about you and what you could potentially offer.
	The likelihood that anything that you say is going to actually accord with the fantasy she has of you in her mind is functionally zero.
	So every time a man opens his mouth, he runs the risk of chipping away at that fantasy.
	The biggest mistake that men make on first dates is trying to impress women.
	Generally, the way that they go about doing that does not accord with the fantasy that they maintain in their heads.
	You can't disabuse people of their fantasy too soon.
	You have to do that eventually in the relationship, but if it's too soon, you're not going to get a second date.
	Especially for women who fall in love through their ears.
	You gotta be careful.
	And just after your point as well, the more they talk about themselves to you, they feel like they know you better.
	I don't know how that correlates, but they feel like they know you for years because like, oh, I can tell you anything.
	I don't know anything about you.
	And it's like, tell me everything, baby.
	I got you.
	There's some of that, for sure.
	And if you ask good, provocative questions that...
	They're not just like, what do you do?
	Where are you from?
	What are some of those that you use as a psychologist?
	One thing that I'll...
	Who is this guy that can employ?
	I model how I want to be spoken to.
	So I will, what I call it, self-involving self-disclosure.
	The way that most guys screw this up is they keep...
	It sounds like a job interview.
	What are you looking for?
	Where are you from?
	What do you do?
	That information is useless for building an emotional connection.
	What people are really wanting is they want to feel you.
	They want to know what...
	They want to know what you're all about.
	So what I do is I start by opening up about my emotional experience.
	I talk about my day.
	It's like, oh man, so I woke up late.
	I was a little groggy.
	I went down to the lobby and I got this fantastic, fancy, bougie pancake thing.
	And then I went to Miami Beach.
	The water was so warm and there were people out.
	It was great.
	I love those old Art Deco buildings with the neon.
	It was cool.
	Then I put on my suit and I came over to Fresh and Fat.
	I never met these guys before.
	I go through my day and I describe a progression of emotional experiences.
	And as you were telling that story, I was imagining everything, which is very important.
	You want to use vivid detail.
	Yeah.
	And basically what I'm sharing, I'm making a bid.
	I'm saying, I'm opening up a little bit.
	I'm not telling you about my insecurities.
	I'm not telling you about my fears and my dark secrets.
	I'm telling you about my actual emotional experience.
	And it's inviting you, you know, the woman, to tell me about your emotional experience so that we can connect on an emotional level.
	And I'm showing her by going first that I'm open to that kind of exchange.
	Not only that, but, and I tell guys this, you always want to passively demonstrate higher value.
	And with your story that you just told, you had a bunch of subtle flexes.
	Oh, I was able to go to the beach.
	It was really nice.
	I'm in Miami, right?
	I had a cake.
	Oh, I went on a podcast, right?
	And, you know, I went there in my soup, blah, blah, blah.
	Nothing about that was braggy or egotistical, etc.
	You're just simply describing your day in vivid detail, and that vivid detail allowed the woman to almost come to her own conclusion that, oh, he's doing these things, so therefore this guy is of higher value.
	I'll liken this back to my profession.
	When I was an agent, one of the things they tell you when you write your reports is, you're just the fact finder.
	You write the facts and you let the reader come to their own conclusions.
	You don't say, this person is the suspect, blah, blah, blah.
	You just say, on such and such subject, say this, this, this, this, and then the person that's reading it can come to that conclusion and be like, Oh, wow.
	Well, with all the circumstantial evidence you have here or whatever, yeah, this guy's probably guilty.
	This guy probably committed.
	He's the probable suspect, etc.
	I think when you apply that to females as well, where you're just giving facts, maybe not in a boring matter of fact tone as a police report or, you know, government report, but you're doing it in vivid detail, etc.
	You let her come to that logical conclusion.
	We always say, you know, discovery trumps disclosure, right?
	Totally.
	Telling her I have a Lamborghini is not the same as you, you know, You're meeting for a date and she sees you drop your Lamborghini off a valet naturally and you never said a word.
	You even downplay it to a degree.
	I tell this to guys.
	I say, if you have a Lamborghini and you want to take pictures of it, the best place for that Lamborghini is in the background.
	You want to act like you're a guy of such status that the Lamborghini in the background that I guarantee everyone is going to notice is of such little consequence that it doesn't need to be the focus of the picture.
	I tell guys for their Instagram, you need to be the focus.
	All of your auxiliary items and, for example, chains and all that stuff needs to be a backdrop for you.
	You're the personal brand.
	You are the guy.
	You are the star.
	That's a very good take.
	I'll just add as well to your first date approach that What I'll do is I'll talk to the girl, ask questions, of course, and then I'm listening to hear what she's saying.
	So I'm doing active listening, and I respond with a question from what she said.
	So I'll ask her, hey, I'm curious, like, how's work for you?
	Like, what do you do for work?
	Oh, I'm a nurse.
	That's pretty stressful.
	How do you handle that?
	That's a lot of work to handle.
	And, like, I'll build upon that each time she responds to me.
	I'll bring her another question, and before you know it, she's like, damn.
	I feel like I told you about me, but I don't know anything about you.
	And I'm like, perfect.
	Yeah.
	Gotcha.
	So you did some strategies there.
	In therapy, I think we can call that mind reading.
	It's like she didn't tell you that she had a stressful job.
	She just told you the fact.
	And you made a little guess.
	Mm-hmm.
	She could have said, no, I don't have a stressful job.
	I love my job.
	Why would you think that?
	You know, potentially if she's feeling that way or she's not as attracted to you.
	But you made a bid that understood her at a deeper level than her factual disclosure.
	That's a little bit of a gambit and it often pays off, especially if you have accurate empathy.
	For sure.
	I like that.
	I was going to say something else about this.
	First date, walking in the park.
	Yeah, you gave your vivid story.
	I'm doing the Fresh Fit Podcast because we're answering his question about he's going to go on a first date with a girl walking.
	Walking in the park.
	And you said that you phrased your questions how you would like to be spoken to.
	And you tell a story and then the person responds that you...
	Yeah.
	I got it.
	So another amazing tactic.
	Therapists use it all the time.
	It's the foundational therapeutic tactic is reflection.
	A lot of guys, myself included, used to think that this was pointless.
	Reflection is basically where you just summarize and say back what you've heard.
	So for example, what I heard you say is that oftentimes when you go out on dates, you'll ask her about her job and she'll tell you the information, but then you'll go a little bit deeper into that and she'll respond positively to that.
	Yes, that is very true.
	Now you feel heard.
	Don't you? - Yes.
	- Like communication received, right?
	Because I was able to summarize back to you the essential parts of your disclosure. - And what most guys do, don't listen.
	They just talk.
	So now you stand up because you actually listen to her, what she's saying, give it back to her in a summarized manner. - Or you think that you're actually talking about jobs.
	And so she'll say, I'm a nurse.
	And I'll be like, oh, that's cool.
	I'm a psychologist.
	Like we're really here to exchange information You know what I'm saying?
	And you miss the entire opportunity of that conversation.
	I think what you just said is extremely important.
	Again, I hate to bring it back to my profession from before, but this is what I used to do with suspects.
	I'd get the story.
	And then I'd summarize it back to them.
	And what this allows is, number one, right?
	And this works with women, too.
	Oh, he actually listened.
	Wow.
	And then also, they'll clarify things that you might have gotten wrong.
	Sure.
	And offer up other pieces of information, right?
	Sometimes I might even purposely mistake something in my summarization so that they can clarify it.
	Because I know that they're going to clarify and disclose other information that I'm interested in hearing.
	Right?
	It's a way to elicit information without even doing it because it's human nature where if you say something, you want to be interpreted the way that you said it.
	You don't want to necessarily have someone put their own negative connotation on it and you will go ahead and correct them even though it might hurt you to a degree because you might not want to be seen as a certain character or whatever it may be.
	So guys need to understand that a skill set is being able to listen, summarize it, and then once you get really skilled, summarize it even maybe a little bit off so they can clarify and you can get the information that you want.
	You do it all the time.
	That's how it goes Colombian.
	Are you Venezuelan?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You know, something like that.
	I'm not Venezuelan!
	I do it on the podcast.
	I'll summarize what they're saying, etc.
	So that's actually a very good skill set, but you guys got to actively listen to be able to do that.
	I worked the first two years as a trainee therapist in outpatient substance abuse.
	So I was working with alcoholics and other addicts.
	And that's where I learned the skill of motivational interviewing.
	They teach you MI. At the agency?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So with addicts, you're often dealing with people who aren't yet ready to change.
	And addicts are often very touchy about Yeah,
	of course.
	Well, I don't know.
	I didn't say that.
	I mean, like, sometimes I'm hungover.
	It's like, oh, I mean, really?
	So you're experiencing some issues?
	Is that what you're saying?
	Like, before you know it, the person is telling me all the bad things that come with his addiction just because I overstated his position, which is that there was no problems whatsoever.
	That wasn't correct.
	And now he's telling me that he has a problem, which is much better than me trying to explain to him that he has a problem, right?
	So motivational interviewing when it's done well is overwhelming.
	Almost hypnotic.
	Like, the way that skilled interviewers can work with people's resistance in a frictionless way to move towards greater understanding is phenomenal.
	It's a really useful skill in therapy.
	I'm sure it's useful in law enforcement, and it's very useful on dating.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Well said.
	All right, so, well, what else do we got here?
	And I'm going to fly through.
	Sebastian, you should know, Rumble only show the join button when it's a VOD. The subscribe button is only on live broadcast.
	Currently, you should ask Chris and add it to VODs too to get more subs.
	Yes, don't worry.
	That's a very good point.
	That's something that I literally was on the phone with him about.
	So don't worry.
	That's coming very soon.
	Yeah, Fresh, actually.
	Good call to take a picture.
	But yeah, right now that we're live, guys, hit that subscribe button, right?
	Do me that favor.
	Join up.
	We want to get 10,000 strong, man.
	Better subscribe.
	Just to, you know, fight back against the Matrix.
	It's only five bucks, guys, and it goes a long way towards keeping Rumble alive.
	Because if Rumble dies, we die with it, man.
	And Rumble is the last Bastion of Free Speech, right?
	A.K.A. for Bastion X. We got here at DLC. I don't like Rumble, but I love Fresh and Fit, so I'm here.
	Keep reading from the front, John.
	Thank you so much, man.
	Shout out to you, bro.
	Shout out to you, man.
	And don't worry, guys.
	We're still going to be on YouTube, but, you know, all of our content is going to be over here, but we're going to still be on YouTube to a degree.
	Ephra 42, and the Old Testament wives that were infertile or wanted more children had the husbands impregnate their female servants.
	Servants then became subwives after blessings from God.
	Okay?
	Ephra.
	Born during war.
	Have you guys ever considered creating a website for your content?
	Also, I don't see the subscribe button.
	Subscribe button, you got to do it on the web, my friend.
	On a live video.
	On a live video, on the web.
	It doesn't work in the iOS app yet.
	So Chrome or Safari?
	Yeah.
	And I'll show y'all.
	I'll do a quick demonstration after we go through these.
	Let's keep going here.
	And guys, like I said before, we're about 10K, y'all, in here.
	So we're going to only read 20 and up.
	These came in from before.
	These are coming from before?
	Yeah, before.
	Okay, the fact that there are some loyal watchers here still watching on YouTube...
	It's disgusting.
	These are the same types of men that aren't driven to go to the gym today.
	Yeah, it is what it is, man.
	We appreciate you guys coming over and supporting.
	People are used to being on the platform.
	Yeah, it is what it is.
	And we're still going to be on YouTube.
	Don't worry, guys.
	But, you know, Rumble is where it's going to be at.
	Right now, you guys are seeing we're giving you all the real sauce over here.
	Yeah.
	Brad goes, interesting stuff.
	What schools would you recommend in the Bay Area?
	I don't really know.
	I didn't grow up in the Bay Area.
	The Bay Area is sort of ground zero for psychotherapy schools.
	There's like six or seven professional schools in the Bay Area.
	To me, grad school was something of a necessary evil and I even went on to teach.
	I understood that the vision I had for my life, I needed a degree in order to get the license, and once I had the license, I could sell my services in the open market.
	And so it didn't really matter to me so much where I went.
	I did go to my first choice school, but to me it was like, I'll jump through the hoops, I'll do what I need to do, I'll get the degree so that I can move forward with my business vision.
	I'll do what's required to get where I want.
	Okay.
	And that's this one right there, guys.
	Just subscribe.
	I love you guys.
	I hope you guys never go.
	You guys save my life now.
	I am hope on raising my son to be a great man.
	I almost lost myself in 2022 until when I discovered Fresh and Fit.
	Thank you so much, bro.
	You got it, bro.
	These mother effers deserve more than $5 a month.
	You guys would truly save lives.
	Love you guys.
	Thank you so much, Merc.
	Join the locals, bro.
	We would really appreciate that.
	It's $20.
	Join in there.
	It really supports the mission.
	And you can see all the pre-streams as well.
	Oh, that shows.
	Okay.
	He's already a subscriber.
	Okay, subscriber.
	And is the whale locals?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Shout out to you, my friend.
	Thank you so much.
	I saw some pinky in the brain laughing at you guys, but let's see how it ends.
	Stay strong, fresh, and fit.
	Don't worry.
	The haters, they don't realize that we got an army, so they're We're not a drama, stupid reaction channel.
	Madara, I'm 21.
	I don't have any friends.
	I struggle with approaching and starting conversations with people.
	What advice would you have for me?
	What can I do to better build my social skills?
	Great question.
	So start small.
	So go to a public place and just make eye contact with people.
	Then you can build up to just sort of like waving at them.
	Just keep walking.
	Then you can move up to just saying, hi, keep walking.
	You're not going to actually start a conversation.
	The idea is to first build up some social confidence with normal nonverbal interaction.
	When you start to have conversations, the way I approach this is as a game.
	I have a video.
	I have a video called the game of small talk.
	I think it is.
	Okay.
	And I...
	The way I describe it is you have something in common with every human being on this planet.
	It should only take you six back and forth to figure out what that is.
	And if you learn to listen, you can zero in on what common ground you authentically share with another human being.
	And boom, you have an instant friend.
	An emotional connection has been formed.
	And one of the best ways to do that is to be a generous communicator.
	So for example, if you were to ask me...
	What do you do?
	And if I said, I'm a psychologist, I'm not really giving you much to go with.
	Yeah.
	But if you ask me, what are you doing?
	I said, hey, I've done lots of things.
	I used to be an actor in New York.
	I was a teacher for a while.
	Now I'm a psychologist.
	I'm in private practice.
	I do this YouTube thing.
	Like there's five or six different directions that that conversation can go.
	And the person I'm talking to can pick the one that's most personally relevant or interesting to him.
	And I've also modeled generous communication.
	So hopefully you're going to tell me some more information.
	Within a few back and forth, we're going to hit something that we both authentically enjoy, and boom, we're off to the races.
	It's a game.
	Yeah, it really is.
	And if you are the first one to give, a lot of the times people feel strange if they don't reciprocate.
	So that's a good tactic right there.
	Sure.
	So yeah, dude, that's one way to go about it, my friend.
	Actionable steps.
	And then also do things that you like and meet people that do those things.
	Men typically tend to bond through activities and a shared mission.
	So try to meet people that share similar physical interests that you do.
	I don't care if it's playing Warhammer at the hobby club or something like that or chess or playing a sport or going to the gym, but find something that you guys can bond on physically and a shared mission.
	And Wales means that they've That they've Rommel ranted often.
	Oh, okay.
	Shout out to you.
	Question.
	Met this female a while back.
	Met all the requirements, but she had a boyfriend.
	Now she hit me up single.
	Told her what I'm looking for.
	Said she's not ready, but still hits me up even though I cut contact.
	How to handle?
	This is a good one.
	This happens to so many guys.
	Yeah.
	Hmm.
	You want me to go first?
	Oh, sorry.
	Go ahead.
	You take it first.
	Like I said earlier, when a woman reaches out, it's because she's thinking about you in that moment.
	She's missing you in that moment, and she wants to connect with you.
	Sometimes, though, when women reach out, especially if they reach out repeatedly after they seem to have rejected you, they're testing whether you're still there.
	A lot of women just want the comfort of knowing that they can get attention on demand and that there's a man waiting in the wings.
	Yeah.
	So I think that if you've made it clear what your intentions are vis-a-vis a specific woman, and for whatever reason she says, I don't really want that relationship with you, or I'm not ready for that kind of thing, say, hey, no problem, hit me up when you are.
	You know, some weeks, some months, some years might go by, you get that call, and you can assume in that moment that she's ready to move things forward.
	But it could just be a test.
	If you then ask her out, And say, okay, great.
	Nice to hear from you.
	Why don't we get a drink and catch up?
	And she says, oh yeah, I'm not really.
	You say, hey, no problem.
	And then you never bring it up again.
	She might reach out, but I wouldn't respond every time.
	And if I did respond, I would respond with very low apparent interest.
	That woman knows what you want.
	So she knows how to unlock greater attention if she's so motivated to do.
	It's not like it's a mystery.
	She doesn't know what she needs to say or do in order to capture more of your attention.
	But again, you don't want to give that attention away for free.
	One way to screen is like, hey, let's go get a drink.
	If girls play games, you just invite them straight to the house like that.
	The more games she's played, the less she deserves money.
	Any type of commitment on your end?
	The problem is, if you meet her under that premise because you told her what you wanted from the very beginning and she wants to do something different, you meet her under her program, which means you're following her pattern, you're following her setup, which is going to take me out for you.
	So I would just say, if she's not following you on your program, then what's the point of meeting her?
	And I want to also bring some attention to what the doc was saying, which I think is very important for the guys to know.
	They polled a bunch of married women and they said something around 50% of married women have a backup guy.
	It's only 50?
	Yeah, it's probably higher, but they don't want it.
	It's self-reported, and we know how that goes.
	There you go.
	I don't think men understand the importance of backup men for women in their sexual strategy and how that greatly influences their perceived value, how they view the world, how they view men in general.
	It creates a lot of comfort and security for them to know that there's other men out there.
	And that's why one of the number one things I do if a girl does want something serious with me is I tell them, you're not having no guy friends either.
	Like, you're not going to sit there and enjoy the comfort of potentially having some other simp in the background, right?
	Because I already know he's always going to be there, so you might as well cut him off now, right?
	Because I'm not going to sit here and talk about that because when women think that they have options, they can replace you.
	Behavior changes a lot of the time.
	So I'm trying to mitigate risk.
	People can call me an asshole or whatever, but I look at myself as I'm a lovable dictator.
	And I think women want a dictator, both in the bedroom, physically, literally, and outside of the bedroom as well.
	A benevolent dictatorship.
	Yes, a benevolent dictatorship.
	Well, what we're really talking about here is that optionality is power.
	And that's one of the main reasons why women have...
	They would be loathe to give up an Instagram account, say, with 100,000 male followers.
	Yes.
	They will fight tooth and nail to have that Instagram.
	And they might say, and they might be correct, that they would never, ever entertain a sexual relationship with any of those followers.
	Which could be true, because women generally don't screw their fans, as it were.
	True.
	But the reason why she's not giving it up is because that apparent optionality gives her greater leverage in the relationship with you.
	Bam.
	There's plausible deniability there.
	I don't think many women would admit that.
	Yep.
	But that's why that occurs.
	And it's another reason why a lot of guys would be loathe to give up some of his other women when he's entering into a monogamistic relationship if that serves him.
	Yeah.
	It's a power struggle because once she has that leverage of saying, you know what, I can find guys here.
	If you don't do what I want, I can go over here.
	Okay, well, bye.
	I can leave.
	It needs to be unilateral disarmament if you're going to go down that road.
	And this is something that I think would save a lot of relationships.
	Men don't hit women.
	We don't look kindly on that.
	In a no-holds-barred verbal argument, most women will mop the floor with most men.
	They are more emotionally aggressive.
	They know more emotional judo and kung fu than men do.
	What we've done is we've disarmed the physical aggression from men, but we haven't yet fully asked women to divest themselves of their emotional aggression or their potential for emotional aggression.
	Wow.
	And that creates a power imbalance.
	By the same token, if we're in a monogamous relationship and I've given up all my women and all of my access and opportunity to other women and you still maintain great optionality with your online presence, that's an asymmetrical disarmament.
	It doesn't work.
	So, if power is a fact of life, power is a fact of every relationship, but if the imbalance gets too much, it generally leads to corruption and all forms of abuse, regardless of whether it's the man who's more powerful or the woman.
	And she thinks what?
	She's better than you.
	Yeah.
	Though I agree with you that too much power will corrupt, right?
	I forget what's the phrase.
	Absolutely power corrupts absolutely.
	Yeah.
	I think it's better wielded by the man than by the woman.
	You can make that argument.
	One definition that I read of evil is...
	That really resonated with me is that evil is the unsurrendered will, which is sort of like narcissism.
	It's that I am...
	nothing is higher than my own desires.
	I'm not going to surrender to any kind of ethic or higher principle.
	Evil, what was it again?
	Surrenders to no will?
	It's the unsurrendered will.
	What I want is law.
	What I want is the only I don't recognize anything higher than myself.
	I think that's a pretty decent working definition of evil.
	It's not that women can't do this.
	It's like Ayn Rand did objectivism, but there's not a lot of female philosophers.
	There's not a lot of females who have personal ethics.
	You know what I'm saying?
	There's not a lot of female Batmans who are surrendering to a certain personal code that they live by and they might die by.
	So what you're saying about men potentially wielding power...
	Better than women comes, I think, from the fact that men often will have these personal codes that they're willing to surrender their behavior to more often than women do.
	Damn.
	So they can potentially handle it more responsibly because they see themselves as submitting to a higher purpose, and so they're actually just implementing this higher code.
	That is enlightened leadership.
	There's a phrase.
	All I have in this world is my balls of my word, right?
	And there's a phrase as well to touch that, that I'm a man of my word.
	I've never heard anything that says I'm a woman of my word or I'm a woman of integrity.
	These codes and these phrases and these sayings, There's no feminine version of it, typically.
	It's typically a masculine thing.
	Honor, code, adhering to something, you know, being honorable, all these things.
	Like, we don't hold women to these masculine traits, right?
	So, I mean, maybe sexual fidelity, right?
	That's a component of loyalty.
	But with everything else, we don't really hold women to the same standards.
	We kind of tell men, do what's right, and we tell women, do what's right for you.
	And yeah, that's a fantastic way to put it, why men need to be in the powership roles, because men are more likely to have a code, and that code will keep the evil at bay.
	And there's a lot of spineless men out there who are in positions of power that are very...
	It's hard to follow them.
	And they're not doing a lot of good in those positions.
	Yeah, I got to give you Don DeMarco.
	And it was Absolute Power Absolutely Corrupts.
	Wait, there was something I wanted to say that we were talking about before the Absolute Power.
	We're discussing it before because it was something I was going to say.
	Power absolutely corrupts evil.
	Super chat.
	What was that chat again, Mo?
	Can you bring it back up?
	Yeah, she wants attention.
	We talked about that.
	Oh!
	When you were talking about...
	You're using the analogy that hitting a woman is socially unacceptable because men are physically superior to women, which obviously we all here at the table can agree.
	You never raise your hand at a woman.
	You guys saw it on the show where literally a girl hit me in the back and I just, whatever, right?
	You just call the police.
	It is what it is because if you, yeah, don't hit them back.
	And that's kind of what it is.
	And men kind of understand and accept this and it's societally enforced, right?
	But with women, they have an overwhelming advantage with optionality.
	And if you tell them, hey, that needs to be curbed to be in any real relationship of consequence with me, a lot of them will hem and haw and I'm not doing that and you're insecure or you're toxic, etc.
	But by the same token, it's not like I'm telling you we need to arm wrestle every day and you need to win.
	That'd be unreasonable, correct?
	So we're not going to arm wrestle because I know I'm going to win.
	Okay, cool.
	Well, you're not going to have an Instagram because I know that you have optionality and that can put our relationship in jeopardy.
	I think I understand what you're saying now.
	No one gives up power willingly.
	It's either because somebody fights for it or there are consequences that are respected as a consequence of holding on to that power.
	So when you say control, that's probably what you mean is that a woman is not going to We're good to go.
	My assessment, though it's grim, it might be a negative, and I want to get your take on this stock.
	I think that they're not going to.
	I think it's going to get worse before it gets better because women have fought really hard for the inequality that they now enjoy, and they're able to still get the benefit of chivalry to some degree.
	And being courted and they still have the optionality, so they're literally able to get the best of all worlds.
	They can be treated like a lady on dates, etc., while still being taken seriously from a professional standpoint.
	They have more college access than ever.
	So why would they yield any of the levers that they've been able to accumulate over the last 70 years thanks to feminism?
	It's going to get worse before it gets better, guys.
	So I think guys need to just adapt to the new normal versus hoping women are going to go back to aprons in the 1950s.
	I don't know what's your take on that.
	Yeah, we're not going back to those traditional days.
	We're not going to repeal women's right to vote, and I don't think that we should.
	So here's one way to conceptualize this.
	So I just made an episode about this.
	It hasn't been published yet, but I found it to be really interesting that almost every traditional gender role in today's day and age has been questioned, has been examined, except for There's probably a few, but except this one, which is the man still makes the offer.
	The offer could be you up.
	The offer could be, hey, can I buy you a drink?
	The offer could be, will you marry me?
	But the women are still waiting for the offer.
	And that's very strange because there doesn't seem to be anything inherent in that situation that suggests that the man has to do that and the woman has to wait.
	Especially when we've examined all these other traditional roles and said, no, that's not inherent to men or inherent to women.
	Women can do that.
	Men can do this.
	But women are still waiting for the offer.
	Why would that be the case?
	Especially the most attractive ones.
	Who is in a more privileged position?
	When I'm cold calling you to try to get on your show, or when you call me up trying to get me on your show, you know what I'm saying?
	Which is better, trying to send a resume to a company that didn't ask for it, or waiting to get a call for a potential job offer?
	It automatically puts you in a more advantageous bargaining posture relative to that opportunity.
	Women understand that.
	Maybe they don't understand that explicitly or consciously, but they understand that the person, they're already in a more privileged position if the man is approaching her than the other way around.
	And I think that's why that has never really been examined or questioned.
	There's a lot of women, 25% of women over 40 today are unmarried and childless.
	And that's gone up...
	What's the percentage again?
	25%.
	One in four women at 40 are unmarried and childless today.
	And that's gone up 10% in the last 10 years.
	10 years ago, it was only 15%.
	It's 40 or up, you said?
	One in four?
	One in four, 25%.
	It's probably going to go up to one in three very soon.
	Yeah.
	And to the extent that that's a problem, you would think that eventually they might buy a ring and get down on their knee, but they don't do that.
	And I wonder why.
	It's almost like if the power struggle is, I have the power, but I want your power as well.
	So come to me with the offer because I'm taking your power away.
	Well, it's a double-edged sword because if a woman actually succeeds in taking away a man's power, then the basis of her attraction is also undermined.
	Because no woman actually wants to end up with a powerless man.
	That's an unattractive man.
	That's an unsuccessful man.
	That's a useless man.
	They try to change you, though.
	They try.
	It's a man's job to not allow that to happen.
	You guys are both right.
	She'll try to change you.
	It's your job to fight that.
	I don't like your beard.
	Yeah.
	Well, too bad.
	Too bad.
	You picked me.
	That's how you found me.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Where are we at here?
	Moe.
	What?
	You good on time?
	Yeah, I'm feeling good.
	This has been a great conversation.
	Oh, yeah.
	Because I got some questions on your videos now, too, as well.
	And then, Charlie, why are women who have been engaged in sexual relations with more than 50 men concerned about men who sleep with multiple women?
	They do not seem concerned about contracting an STD. Yeah, well, they're not really too concerned, bro.
	It's just that, you know, yeah.
	Girls are hoes nowadays, let's be honest.
	Charlie.
	Dapper Dave, 2021.
	What does Hacks think about dealing with and overcoming with someone you can't change?
	Their video where they ask different women if they would take a 70k, 6 foot, or 250k, 5 for 5 guy, all said first guy.
	This is a great question.
	So, I was doing a consultation with a guy the other day who was feeling not confident with respect to approaching him.
	And how can people get you in contact with you to do a consultation, by the way?
	Oh, go to my website.
	It's linked on my YouTube channel.
	That's the easiest way to do it.
	It's orionterabandsid.com.
	It's kind of a mouthful.
	Let's throw that out in the description.
	Okay.
	Great.
	Thanks, guys.
	So I was doing a consultation with this guy, and he wasn't feeling very confident.
	And I said, well, what's the problem, man?
	You seem like you're a decent-looking guy.
	And he said, I'm...
	I'm bald, you know, and I'm 29 and I'm ashamed of that.
	Or height is a big deal for guys and there's not much you can do, if anything, to change your height, right?
	So my advice for guys like this is you have to understand that you, especially if you don't know, if another person doesn't know who you are, you teach them how they should feel about you in how you present yourself and how you speak about yourself.
	And on some level, you have to be a salesman.
	Now, a good salesman believes that his product is the best product on market.
	At this price point, in this class of automobile, it will do exactly what you need to do.
	And they know all the competitors' inferiorities.
	They know their superiorities.
	They highlight their superiorities versus the competition.
	Yeah, they know the market well.
	So you need to believe in your product 100% because if you don't, why would you expect anybody else to?
	The second thing that I ask people to do is, I'm taking this from programmers, to consider that it's not a bug, it's a feature.
	So the thing that they think is bad or negative, there is a positive reframe or attribution that you can make of that same thing.
	Like, for example, research has demonstrated that Higher testosterone levels are associated with hair loss.
	It's like why a lot of bodybuilders are bald.
	There's a lot of sexy men who are bald, like Bruce Willis, for example.
	The Rock.
	Absolutely, right?
	Andrew Tate, pause.
	It's not a flaw, it's a feature.
	This is a good thing that you're getting a bald guy because it means that you have a high T man who's associated with all these other prestigious muscular men as well.
	Do you understand?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	And it's for somebody else to potentially call your bullshit, but you don't want to blow the whistle on yourself.
	Of course.
	Don't make it easier for people to reject you.
	Don't help them.
	Alright.
	What else do we got here, Mo?
	I actually had a question.
	Yeah, go ahead.
	When Myron was pointing out the 50%, the wives having 50% backup, you actually had made a face where it was like, only 50%?
	Are you actually alluding that there's probably much more Oh, I think so, man.
	I mean, in my experience, it's not that women have a plan B. They have a plan B, C, D, D. They have a plan down to E. They're like, if this guy doesn't work out, I might be able to get back with my ex.
	And if that doesn't work, the guy in eighth grade might still be single and showed me some love.
	So they might not Be actually able to secure those relationships, but at least that safety net gives them some room to maneuver and some confidence to negotiate more aggressively in their current relationship.
	So many guys I work with have that scarcity mentality and they understand how difficult it is for them to get a woman.
	Maybe it's only their first, second or third relationship.
	They were single for years.
	And so in their minds, it's not the choice between this woman or some other woman I have who expressed interest to me in the past.
	It's the choice between this woman and nothing.
	It's this woman or loneliness, this woman and just despair and solitude.
	And that's a false dichotomy.
	That's not true.
	But that's where a lot of guys' minds are.
	And so they put up with a lot of nonsense that they have no business putting up with because they think at least it's better than nothing.
	How important is sexual experience with women in today's day and age and deregulated sexual marketplace from your professional opinion?
	I think it's always been important for a man to know his way around the bedroom.
	And no one really teaches guys how to do that.
	And I meant to say, sorry, from a holistic standpoint, like being with a lot of women, dating them, have dealt with them, interacted with them, having a certain notch count.
	Me, I say you need to have at least 50 before you think.
	Experiences.
	Yeah, you need to have at least a 50-notch count before you take any woman seriously in the West.
	I don't know what your take is on that.
	Maybe you have a number in your mind or you just say, no, you just need to have a certain level of experience.
	But I think that scarcity mindset that a lot of your clients exhibit, I think that's a byproduct of guys not understanding that you need to go out and deal with a lot of women to figure out that they're really not that special and you almost kind of desensitize yourself to the female mystique.
	What's your take on that?
	I don't have a hard number, like 50, but I think your essential point is fair.
	It's like men need to have a variety of experiences with a lot of different women.
	They call this the bias of small sample sizes.
	If I were to do a study with like four people and they gave me a certain result and I try to generalize that as a As a universal law, it's most likely not going to be true because if two of those people were just weirdos because of the random sampling that I did, I might think that half of all people are this way.
	That's why robust studies have sample sizes of thousands or hundreds of thousands of people because that weirdness sort of gets distributed evenly over the population so we can make more stable conclusions.
	So you need to have a variety of experience to know, is this all women or is that just that nutty girl that you happen to date?
	And until you, and you also alluded to something else that is important, which is most young men start out as romantics.
	Yeah.
	And they, romance has a very incorrect view of how dating and mating works.
	Yeah, so true, yeah.
	So, they have to generally be disabused of that, often painfully, through their experiences with women.
	Yeah.
	I don't have a, you know, it's got to be 50.
	I do often counsel guys to not even consider getting married or into a long-term relationship until they're at least 35.
	Dude, that's my number.
	35?
	I literally, this is my, I'd say, 35 years old, make it six figures a year, six months to a year of money and savings, in shape, 50 women.
	Okay, this is cool.
	So we talked about being a captain earlier and you kind of resonated with that.
	Yeah.
	I have this whole metaphor about the sexual marketplace being a dock and the guys are like in front of their ships and the women are going around the pier trying to figure out what boat they want to get on.
	Okay?
	Now, if you're a captain, you have three things you got to do.
	You got to build a ship.
	You've got to learn to sail, and you've got to plot a course.
	If you have those three things, you're a captain.
	If you don't have those three things, you're not a captain yet.
	I'm going to write this down.
	Steal this from you, man.
	I'll give you credit, though.
	Build a ship.
	Build a ship.
	This is all going to come out in the book that I'm working on.
	Hey, I always shout out my people, though, man.
	And I think this is important to share this stuff, because at the end of the day, this might reach someone that needs to hear it.
	And hey, that's a great example.
	Absolutely.
	It's why I'm here, sharing the wisdom.
	What was the second one?
	Learn to sail.
	Learn to sail and then plot a course, right?
	Plot a course.
	So the ship is, with respect to the sexual marketplace, it's your lifestyle.
	It's not just your career and money, but how you spend it.
	I often say that men want the Barbie doll, and women want all the shit the Ken doll comes with.
	That's why there's like Cowboy Ken, and there's Disco Ken, and there's Stockbroker Ken, and things like that.
	And then there's Black Ken.
	They have him now?
	Yeah, of course.
	I'm kidding.
	So, here's the thing.
	A woman is going to fantasize what it would be like to be next to you in your lifestyle.
	That's your frame.
	That's your ship in this metaphor.
	And it takes time and resources to extrapolate that lifestyle.
	That's the main way to attract is by creating an emotionally compelling lifestyle.
	That doesn't necessarily have to mean bottle service and a super yacht.
	There's many different types of lifestyles.
	That's why...
	Women's romance novels are so varied.
	There's like the cowboy who is kind of stoic and reserved and mysterious.
	Then there's like the billionaire stockbroker, the high-powered guy.
	It's like those are two very different fantasies, but they can both work on the same woman.
	And she's like, well, I could be a cowgirl too, yee-haw!
	Or I can be a boss bitch too.
	They're trying to figure out what it would be like to be on your ship with you.
	But it's your job to have built that ship to begin with.
	Then you've got to learn to sail, which means you have to have some skills.
	You have to be a competent man to be able to do business with other men.
	I don't just mean actual financial transactions, but to have competent male friends that you can count on.
	A guy doesn't have any skills is useless to other guys.
	This is what society doesn't understand.
	I'm cooking a little bit now, so thanks for your patience.
	No, no, keep going.
	It's extremely hard to be a 20-year-old man.
	Extremely hard.
	And nobody in society seems to recognize that because you are functionally invisible to women.
	Because all the things that women tend to sort for, status, wealth, lifestyle, you don't got it at 20 unless you're a trust funder.
	And you're also useless to men.
	Facts.
	Men want competent teammates.
	Yes.
	You don't have any competences at 20 years old.
	You don't know your ass from your elbow.
	You're a liability on my team.
	I gotta teach you all this shit.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So you're useless to men and you're invisible to women.
	And then society says, go for it.
	Get money and get laid.
	And it's like, oh, Jesus, that's really hard.
	Your first job is always your hardest to get.
	Your second job is the second hardest to get.
	And it takes about 10 years to actually...
	Build anything worthwhile.
	You can do a lot in 10 years, but it takes about that long and you have to be willing to grind it out sometimes, for sure.
	Man, the doctor's cooking!
	I told you guys to give me a great interview.
	I told y'all, man.
	The third one is to plot a course.
	I'll just finish it up.
	Yeah, please.
	Which is you have to have a higher arching mission to your life.
	Like, where are you going to go?
	What's the whole point of all of this?
	Is it just to get laid?
	Like, just for that point?
	Or do you have a reason to be?
	On some level.
	You talked about how one of the primary, if not the primary, reasons why we're here on this planet is reproduce.
	There's that biological incentive.
	I would argue with that.
	But if it's only that, we have this Sisyphean Hell.
	We're just like, we come together and suffer to make more babies who come together to suffer to just make more babies indefinitely.
	Like, why?
	That's the question that actually causes a great deal of human suffering on this planet.
	Most people are suffering because they don't know why they're suffering.
	So, the highest form of Yeah.
	of genetic transmission and what's the point you know so why are we here suffering because it's hard to be here you know so you got to plot a course and this is really important because like what you were talking about earlier um if you don't really know where you're going the woman is going to start to if once she gets on board she's going to start to yeah to change the words - Yes.
	She's got to fuck with the rudder!
	Well, once you go out to sea, the question is, like, who really runs the ship?
	Does the captain run the ship, or does the passenger run the captain who runs the ship?
	So, if you don't have that vision, and a lot of guys don't, Then it's easier to be fit into somebody else's vision.
	If you don't have a plan, you're probably part of somebody else's plan.
	And women tend to have relationship goals, whereas men's goals are basically like, I just kind of want to get laid and not be alone anymore.
	Yeah.
	That's why over time, relationships, I think, tend to prioritize women's needs and desires.
	Like a longer relationship goes on, the more a woman gets what she wants and the less a guy gets what he wants.
	That's how I see it.
	No, 100% true.
	Relationships inherently benefit women more.
	Because women already come into the relationship at a surplus, and they continue to gain more and more as the relationship continues.
	Because women are natural resource extractors, and people get really mad at me.
	I have a famous saying, people have stolen it, don't give me credit.
	But I always say, all women are gold diggers, some are just better at hiding the shovel.
	And what I mean by that is, like, some girls, right?
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Less polished as one of your things.
	The professional's like, oh, God, wow.
	This guy's crazy!
	What I mean by that is some girls will dress up their gold digger activities by saying, I just want a guy with ambition.
	I just want a guy that a couple of courses are saying.
	I just want a guy that has goals, etc.
	And then some other girls are more overt about it.
	I don't care.
	I want a multimillionaire.
	I don't want to have to work.
	I need a guy that could get me a mansion or a Lambo.
	So there's different degrees.
	At one extreme end, you got the overt gold digger that's like, I need a rich man that's going to take care of me and I don't want to work.
	Then you got other women that are like, well, I don't care about his money.
	He just needs to be ambitious.
	But all of them pretty much are identifying traits and characteristics that are integral for their ability to work.
	Extract resources either immediately or in some type of future.
	And I think once men understand that, that all men are gold diggers to a certain degree, it's going to put you in a position where you understand that, wow, My value is 1000% contingent upon my performance.
	That's just how it is.
	And I think once guys understand that the burden performance is actually on you, then you're going to understand that you're going to understand the natural hierarchy that men and women aren't equal.
	Because you're evaluating what you provide, women or not.
	They can provide electively while you are required to provide mandatorily.
	You said a lot there, man.
	Yeah, I'm sorry.
	The gold digger line made me laugh.
	That was pretty funny.
	You got the white shirt on, though.
	You're the chef tonight, my friend.
	I mean, the fundamental...
	The core concept there is true.
	And that's like the red pill in one sentence, which is you need to provide value as a man in order to access the sexual opportunity.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	That's a very nice and specific way of putting it.
	Value can mean lots of different things.
	It doesn't necessarily mean money.
	Mm-hmm.
	That's where I think you lose some women because the association with gold diggers is they're just trying to extract cash from a guy.
	Value can be defined in many different ways.
	And it's not simply money.
	It's obviously part of it.
	That's why you probably lose some women.
	Yeah, they get mad.
	I say that more for the men so that they understand that a little shovel might mean, oh, I just want a guy with ambition.
	Whereas a big shovel will mean, I need a Lamborghini or I want a Bentley.
	It's like there's varying degrees, but every chick is walking around with a shovel.
	The ambition line is really interesting because I have this dating strategy for women.
	I say, find your dark horse.
	Do you understand that idiom, dark horse?
	A dark horse, it's like at the Kentucky Derby.
	The dark horse is the horse with the bad odds who actually ends up winning.
	I think at the last Kentucky Derby, the horse that won had 101 odds.
	So whoever bet on that horse hit an enormous jackpot.
	So the problem with a lot of women's strategies is, Rich Cooper talks about this, they hang out at the winner's circle and try to pick The winners.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And it's like, it's always easier and safer to bet on a horse after the race is run.
	Yeah.
	You know who the winners are.
	But the issue is, that's just one horse and maybe a hundred adoring fans.
	There you go.
	So it's like, women have to be really honest with themselves.
	Can you beat out 99 other women?
	They think they can.
	For that horse.
	A lot of them do.
	All the time.
	A lot of them do.
	They really do a thing they can, man.
	Which is funny.
	A lot of women think that they're 1% women, for sure.
	Now, some women don't have that.
	And another strategy is to try to find the winner before the race is run.
	This requires becoming a better judge of character, to be able to look at the horse's teeth and their forelocks, or whatever the hell it is, and say, oh yeah, this one's going to go the distance.
	and you can enter in to a relationship with a guy who will be a future winner before the race is run and then you really hit the jackpot because it's always easier to defend a relationship from the inside than to try to take it from the outside like defending a castle is always easier than Absolutely.
	So the ambition is basically like this guy has not just potential.
	Women don't really care much about potential, but he has a vision, he has a path, and he's hardworking.
	That's one I hear a lot.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Which basically means I'm betting on this pony before the horse is run because I think he has a good chance of going the distance.
	And I can't compete with the other 99 women in the winner's circle.
	That's actually a smarter strategy for a lot of girls.
	Let me ask you this, playing on analogies and stuff like this.
	You said women need to find their dark horse.
	It's one strategy.
	Being able to find the winning horse, etc.
	Would you agree that most women suck at finding this dark horse?
	Yeah.
	What if I told you, I think for a woman to be good at finding a dark horse, they need an expert.
	And that expert is going to be someone might have practiced him a question in the past, etc.
	And I think that guy is going to be their father or their brother.
	And why I say that is because you have a man who's not sexually motivated to be around you that has a...
	If it's a healthy family, a significant interest in you finding the best mate, because if you don't, they're on the hook for taking care of you, especially the dad.
	So they will be able to help you assess this dark horse from a better perspective because they can see things that the woman might not be able to.
	And what I've realized is that a lot of times women are blinded by how the man makes him feel.
	We talked about Machiavellian traits before, how a man is able to, and these dark triad traits, We're good to go.
	Well, marriage rates have plummeted.
	Women report less happiness, et cetera.
	Relationships are in the toilet.
	Well, that's because women are making the sexual selections themselves.
	But I think if they bring in a trusted male individual who also is, I guess, a horse, they could tell you, hey, This horse is good.
	Take it.
	It might not look good right now, but when he gets across the finish line and beats everybody else, we'll be able to update the horseshoes.
	We'll be able to update the grain that the horse eats.
	We'll be able to update the mane and all these other things because he's going to win.
	The potential is there, but women aren't able to see this.
	It takes one to know one.
	Yeah.
	I love that.
	I think that was really well said.
	When a woman says that no man has ever said no to me before in my life, that's a failing of her father and her brother.
	Damn.
	Absolutely.
	What a wasted opportunity.
	Now that said, some women can be very difficult to talk to.
	I've tried to have some of those conversations with my own sister and it didn't often go very well.
	Yeah.
	No, it's tough.
	I mean, I've had that uncomfortable conversation with my sister.
	I remember she was in her late 20s.
	She was about to go into med school.
	And I told her, you only have now to find your guy.
	You need to do it now because you're going to get older.
	You're going to make more money and you are going to be doomed.
	You will not be able to find a man.
	You need to fucking do it right now.
	And she ended up finding a guy, and good on her, who's also in the same profession, right?
	So there's some semblance of the guy has his shit together, and he's in competency, and etc.
	But I told her straight up, because this is just what it is.
	Successful women end up, I always say, men become free from their success, women become prisoners of their success.
	And, you know, girls need to, if you're going to go into a certain profession, etc., Find a guy.
	I mean, girls that go to school and become educated, I tell them, find a guy while you're in school.
	You know what I mean?
	That's a fantastic way to meet a guy because he's on the up and up.
	You're on the up and up.
	If you guys go into the same career field, that's fine.
	Just make sure he's better than you and go from there.
	But yeah, I mean, but I think have a male influence that isn't Self-motivated through sexual motivation, a brother, a cousin, an uncle, some kind of trusted male counterpart.
	This is why I think arranged marriages work well, have worked so long, and why they were a thing, is because even though there might have not been maybe an emotional bond, etc., to the same degree, the woman was at least cared for and taken care of from a provisioning standpoint.
	I could go very personally here as well.
	My granddad, rest in peace to him, he told my mom that that was a bad bet.
	And because, you know, Machiavellian traits, you know, not really caring that much, more of like a lone wolf, but more like, I want to say, good game, and telling her what she wants to hear, you know, she fell for it, and he left, he said he was coming back to the house, he never came back.
	And that's why I'm here alone now.
	But the point is that, like, I should listen to my granddad.
	Because my granddad knew what was cool.
	He called it.
	He said that this guy's not a good bet.
	And she ended up getting with him anyway.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So, there you go.
	Yeah.
	Well, now fresh stutters.
	There y'all go.
	Sometimes.
	All the time.
	Sometimes.
	He's got it under control now.
	Real quick.
	Mo, are there more?
	A couple more.
	Okay.
	We can get through these.
	Get through them, you said?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I'll run through them.
	Just subscribed.
	Been supporting you guys for a very long time.
	Hey guys, do me a quick favor.
	Hold on.
	Subscribe to the Doc's YouTube channel.
	It's called Psych Hacks on YouTube.
	Yes.
	Go subscribe.
	Makes fantastic content.
	And if you guys don't believe me, we're going to actually talk about some of his videos here in a second.
	So go support him right now.
	The link is down in the description.
	I want you guys to subscribe.
	Are you over 200,000 subscribers right now?
	No, I should be there by the end of the month.
	Where are you at now?
	Like 190 something?
	Just shy of 190.
	Guys, let's get him to 190 plus.
	Let's get him to 200,000.
	Minimum.
	Subscribe, man, because if you guys like my analogies, this guy's on another level.
	So you can see here that we're playing off each other's analogy game, and it's a great discussion.
	So go check him out.
	He interprets things for you guys in the sexual marketplace in a very matter-of-fact fashion to be able to understand through analogies.
	And you guys, trust me, it'll be life-saving information for y'all from a professional versus some guy on a podcast.
	Love you guys.
	This broke up with my girlfriend, 33.
	I'm 24, working on myself.
	You guys are amazing.
	Thank you so much, Raja.
	Shout out to you.
	And 007, 007.
	And then we got Wayne.
	Great show, guys.
	Thank you so much.
	Hey, guys, if you're enjoying this content, man, and you want more of it, and you want to support the show, Please subscribe to the Rumble channel.
	It's only five bucks.
	Jump in.
	You get an email, et cetera.
	Just hit subscribe in the live chat and you'll see it on the mobile app.
	What else do we got here?
	Eight.
	Beta.
	The thoughts on dating a girl with BPD and or bipolar.
	She's a ride or die, but also crazy and distracts from my purpose slots.
	She was with me since I was broke and paid for dates.
	Now I'm making 90K. Oh, man.
	So she was with him from before.
	Oh, man.
	Well, you want me to take this one, Doc?
	You can go ahead.
	I'll give you a short and succinct response here.
	Since she was with you before you became a somebody, I will say that you should give her a benefit of doubt that other women don't necessarily deserve.
	However, this kind of sucks because you acquired your value later on.
	So you weren't able to dictate terms from the onset of the relationship.
	So it's going to be a little bit trickier to do it in the middle, but it can be done.
	What I would say is, this is what I think.
	You need to write down on a piece of paper everything that she does that irritates you and pisses you off.
	Okay?
	Literally write it down.
	Call her in, almost like a job, and say, look, I'm assuming you guys might love each other, have some type of emotional connection.
	I love you, I care about you, whatever your relationship is, and I want things to work.
	And you acknowledge all the good that she did.
	You were with me when I was a nobody.
	You've been loyal, etc.
	However, if we're going to continue, these are behaviors that I no longer accept.
	And you literally just go down the fucking list of what it is.
	And you don't sit there and argue with her.
	You tell her, this is what it is.
	I don't like this stuff.
	Let's talk in a day or two and go from there.
	But I am no longer going to accept.
	And if you cannot change, the relationship will end.
	That's it.
	You don't negotiate with terrorists, as I always say.
	And that right there is going to put you in a position where she's either going to concede and change, and then you can go ahead and implement consequences if she doesn't, or You know, you just end the relationship right there.
	It's up to you.
	That's how I would do it.
	I'm actually of the opposite opinion.
	Sure, go ahead.
	Can you change someone as BPD to like really...
	It's hard to do, man.
	Yeah, that is hard.
	It's possible.
	Like one of the best therapies on the market is called dialectical behavior therapy.
	I love this therapy.
	I studied it extensively and it's the only therapy that's been shown to be effective with BPD and it was written by a woman who is a recovered BPD. But he doesn't even know if she has real Like, bro, does she really have BPD? Because guys on this side of the internet tend to throw that shit around for any female.
	Sure, like narcissists, for sure.
	But people with significant personality disorders, they can change, but they generally don't.
	The rule is that they're not going to change.
	Yeah, I would say have love for her, bro, because she did it from the very beginning.
	Don't just discard her, but to have her close to your personal lifestyle now where you could hurt your income or hurt yourself, I would just run for the hell, bro.
	Which you should have done that from the beginning.
	She shouldn't be living with you.
	Remember, I'm telling you this advice is like listing everything out where she's not in a position to fuck you up.
	She shouldn't be living with you.
	You shouldn't have joint bank accounts.
	She shouldn't have any type of real leverage to mess your life up.
	Now, if she does...
	Then you might have to go out about it a different way.
	But I'm giving you that advice.
	We're writing the list out, etc.
	Assuming she's not in a position to destroy you where she's living with your cohabiting, which we tell you all the time, you should never be living with a woman anyway.
	Because all of this is one phone call to the cops, and now you're in jail, out of your house.
	And does she really have BPD? I don't know, because a lot of guys tend to throw that term out with women all the time.
	Yeah, we don't know.
	Well, there's a couple things I'll say about that, if I may.
	First of all, it's not possible to have any kind of relationship with anyone.
	Like if you want a peaceful relationship, you can't have that with somebody who has a disordered personality.
	It's just not possible.
	And you're fooling yourself if you think that you can.
	You can't have a loving relationship.
	Relationship with somebody who's addicted to drugs.
	They're choosing the drug over the relationship.
	It's not possible, but people fool themselves about this all the time.
	Yeah, I agree.
	Now with respect to BPD, again, we don't know.
	Maybe it's something that they're just throwing around.
	But you have to understand that in this treatment that's actually used effectively on borderlines, part of the protocol is those therapists need to be involved in a team of support therapists.
	trained professionals to deal with that they need their own support team of trained professionals to help them provide treatment to these people.
	Wow.
	Otherwise, they get burned out and the treatment fails.
	Like people with personality disorders are very difficult even for trained clinicians to help.
	So, nigga, they can't do it.
	You can't do it either, bro.
	What the fuck?
	So, yeah.
	I mean, is she really BPD, bro?
	That's the real thing.
	Like, if she's really BPD, hey, man, you might have to cut your losses down.
	That's a tough one, bro.
	That's a tough one, bro.
	Zentius, Dr.
	Taraban, I enjoy your perspectives and videos on your channel and your discourse on podcasts.
	You and John from It's Complicated provide excellent, thought-provoking, engaging involvement.
	Much respect, sir.
	Thank you, Zentius.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	He's a doctor as well.
	Yeah, yeah, he is.
	I don't know where you've been at, Zentien.
	He forgot about us, bro.
	He forgot about us, I guess.
	He's not making fun of the girls anymore.
	Shout out to him.
	Zentien's again.
	Gents, hope y'all are well.
	I've been busy starting two businesses.
	Do you have published works that I can learn more from you?
	Gents, lead, follow, and get out of the way.
	Okay, he's been busy.
	No worries, my friend.
	He's asking, do you have any published works?
	Yeah, but nothing anybody would want to read yet.
	So I'm currently working on a book that people might actually want to read.
	I'm about four chapters in.
	I hope to finish the drafting by the end of the year.
	Okay.
	And so a lot of people...
	What do you think you're going to release it by?
	Depends on how much, how long it takes to get it edited and, you know, the design and everything.
	Hopefully sometime next year.
	Yeah, I would say...
	What's it called?
	I haven't decided on a title yet, but...
	What's it about?
	It's about a unified theory of all relationships, kind of.
	It's like behavioral economics applied to relationships.
	Let's put it that way.
	I like it.
	I think you can call it out of PPD chicks.
	BPD chicks.
	That would be a bit of composite.
	Who's up next, Mo?
	That was actually my question, too.
	That was your question?
	That was my, yeah.
	I was like wondering if he had any books out.
	Okay.
	Soon.
	Dom goes, last night's show hurt, but here we are.
	We got y'all forever.
	I appreciate that, Dom.
	Don't worry, man.
	We ain't going nowhere.
	And y'all will still see us on YouTube, too.
	It's not the end.
	Daisy Lemon goes, could you guys play the Please Know game?
	Well, that's a little tough to do in the middle of a podcast.
	Oh, man.
	Probably hilarious.
	Dr.
	Orion is serving up straight facts.
	Absolutely.
	He was cooking earlier.
	And then, there's no darker horse than fresh.
	That's a fact.
	Fresh is black as hell.
	So guys, from this point, we're going to read 50 and up Rumble Rants, because I still have some questions here that I want to make sure I get through.
	And obviously, we don't want to put the doc to sleep, and he's got stuff to do, probably.
	So maybe some...
	Flight tomorrow?
	Oh, yeah.
	Flight tomorrow?
	Yeah.
	You made a video.
	I think it's one of your most popular videos.
	Why women don't apologize.
	Hmm.
	Can you talk about that a little bit?
	I mean, I think one of the things here on this side of the internet, we always say, you know, women want the power of a man and the responsibility, but they want the accountability of a child, blah, blah, blah.
	Women have a tough time taking accountability, all this other stuff.
	Can you speak deeper to, and you really explained it well in that video, but can you speak deeper to that concept of apologies in females?
	Sure.
	First, I'll respond to the most common pushback or objection to that, which is saying that, explaining why women don't apologize doesn't mean that men don't.
	But it's that men and women often don't apologize for different reasons, I've found.
	Men often don't apologize because of an ego thing.
	That can happen to women.
	But what I've found is that women don't apologize because they have a different conceptualization of the foul than men do.
	With respect to men, we think that the behavior is what requires the apology.
	You stepped out of bounds.
	You did something.
	And I would like you to acknowledge that you did that bad thing.
	Apologize for that and change your behavior moving forward.
	Because that, of course, is the only real apology is changed behavior.
	But what I found is that a lot of women treat the foul as the pain or the anger or the Emotional reaction in the man as a response to her behavior.
	Gotcha.
	The problem is not so much what she did.
	The problem is that I'm angry about it.
	And within that conceptualization, she might not have to, to solve the problem, she might not have to change her behavior.
	She just might have to get me to feel differently.
	Yeah.
	And that's why you see some of the otherwise quizzical things that women are subject to doing in this.
	Like, maybe they'll just let some time blow over and then send you some funny memes as if nothing happened.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	Or I had a situation where I had a disagreement with a woman and then a few hours later she just took her clothes off and laid down naked in front of me as if like just having sex would make everything better.
	Yeah.
	Which I found to be somewhat disrespectful to be honest.
	Yeah.
	And it didn't happen that night.
	Rightfully so but most men would not take that appropriately.
	They would be like oh yeah I'm gonna get sex like yeah.
	I guess.
	You did it the right way but most other guys would just accept that.
	It just felt so, like, what kind of man would I be to surrender the principle of what happened for some momentary pleasure?
	That doesn't make any sense to me.
	As a top-bar soulmate would say, dick is a gift.
	Yeah.
	You guys are full of quotes.
	So that's why some women don't apologize is because they see the foul in the emotional reaction in the man as opposed to her own behavior.
	She obviously doesn't think she did anything wrong.
	That's why she did it.
	Yeah.
	I mean, she probably felt like it was in her rights and it's just that I had a problem with it.
	Go ahead.
	Would you say...
	This is why it's so important where when you're correcting a woman or enforcing a boundary, etc., you do it in a calm, cool, collected fashion.
	So you minimize...
	Because what you're saying here is actually very profound.
	I want the audience to really understand this.
	Men have an issue with the behavior, right?
	That's why they want the apology and they want it to be corrected.
	Women have an issue with how they made you feel from the behavior, but they discount the behavior.
	And I think if you're able to respond to her behavior that pissed you off or you didn't like in a calm, cool, and collected manner, she can't I guess she can't see an emotional response from you.
	And therefore that only leaves one thing, which is the glaring problem.
	It was your fucking behavior, not my reaction.
	Correct.
	Now there's some rational basis for this.
	Like we have this phrase, no harm, no foul.
	So it could be that maybe I did step out of bounds in our relationship.
	But if you say, Hey, no problem, man.
	It's like, okay, I guess we're just going to carry on on some level.
	You see what I'm saying?
	So it's not completely irrational where women might be coming from, but absolutely.
	There's two reasons why it's important to keep your calm about that.
	First of all, is if your emotional tone is too angry, then she might get triggered and then she only hears that and she's not going to take in what you say.
	And that's true for anybody, man or woman, who gets emotionally triggered.
	They're no longer susceptible to logic and reason, so you can't actually have a mature conversation with them.
	So you have to take care of your tone so that they don't become emotionally confused in that moment, panicked.
	But yeah, if a person is flailing, they're going to find some other way to squirm out of it.
	And it could be that you're raising your voice against me right now.
	And so that's just a distraction tactic.
	And it's very easy to move to the side if you understand it and you can keep your cool in that moment.
	That's avoiding accountability.
	Yeah.
	Yep.
	So that's why it's got to be a measure.
	I mean, I hate to say it, man, but you've got to talk to them like children almost.
	It's like, hey, you know, we're in a relationship.
	Maybe you love her or whatever.
	You know, you give something positive up front and then you tell her, look, I didn't like XYZ. I'm not angry about it.
	I'm just disappointed in you.
	This behavior will not be tolerated again.
	Etc.
	And you kind of go about it, but you have to be but if you like and you'll be emotional You're basically letting her know that both of you are equal and you're gonna go ahead and play her game and that's not what you want to do So masculine feminine communication is very different.
	Yeah, so let's say that for whatever reason we had some sort of like beef Yeah, and we're gonna come together and talk about it.
	Yeah, this happens between men what we're probably gonna do is Is be as cool and calm because we both know what could happen if things get disrespectful and things get out of hand.
	So we're probably going to take as much emotion out of our voices as possible.
	We're going to talk slower.
	We're going to talk calm.
	Okay?
	Here's the thing about that.
	When you're talking, and this is where guys screw this up all the time, when they have to have sometimes necessary or difficult conversations with their women, they'll speak to them like a man like that.
	They'll take all the emotional tone out of their voice.
	And suddenly all the woman is responding to is the absence of warmth.
	And now she starts to get afraid.
	Now she starts to get panicked.
	Because what she's hearing, if you take the words out of it and you just have the tone, she's hearing something like...
	And that doesn't sound like I love you.
	That doesn't sound like I'm on your side.
	That doesn't sound like we're on the same team.
	They're going to respond more to the tone than guys do.
	We talked about that earlier today.
	So if you're going to have to have a difficult conversation with a woman, put some warmth in your voice.
	next after hours the cadence and the rhythm I don't like that rhythm what certainly sounds like there's a trouble You know what I'm saying?
	And she's going to start to get defensive.
	What I've noticed is you can say almost anything to a woman if you have a smile on your face and warmth in your voice.
	Yeah, it's true.
	It's true.
	It's how you say it.
	So yeah, you have to be calm and collective at the same time.
	Yes, I really like that you brought that up.
	You lead in.
	You got to kind of softly let them down.
	Hey, I love you, etc.
	That's why I'm having this difficult conversation with you.
	I wouldn't even use the word difficult.
	That's already primal.
	I meant for the audience.
	I wouldn't say difficult, but that's why I'm telling you this.
	I love you.
	That's why I want to tell you this.
	Boom.
	And then you tell her what it is.
	And then she's going to be more likely to be like, damn, I don't want to lose his approval.
	He had me in this light and I lost a little bit of whatever.
	Or what I like to say to girls all the time is like, I really didn't think you were that type of girl.
	Well, what hurt more when you were a kid?
	Was it potentially getting slapped or when your mom said, I'm just disappointed in you, Myron?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Sucks the latter.
	Yeah.
	And she's like, it's so bad that she's not even getting angry.
	It's like, oh, that means that something really bad.
	And I think the other thing, too, is that people have this natural need to be held in high esteem by their peers.
	And when someone says, I'm disappointed in you, or, wow, I really didn't think you were that type of person, blah, blah, blah.
	Your disappointment, and what you're basically also inadvertently telling them is that, Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's like if you tell a child that he's smart and handsome, he's going to grow up believing that, whether it's true or not.
	If you tell a child more negative things, they might believe that, too.
	So people actually are more likely to try to live up to your expectations than the opposite.
	So have positive expectations for the women.
	Expect them to be loyal.
	Don't necessarily trust until it's valid to do so, but expect to see in her behavior the things that you want to see there until she proves otherwise.
	Yeah.
	That's fair.
	No, I like it.
	That's what we say.
	Less professional.
	Assume every girl is a hoe unless she proves otherwise.
	It's on her.
	The Burnham performance is on her to prove that she's not like every other girl.
	Because women use that same thing.
	The difference between them is that they're kind of doing it up front.
	Right?
	Through like...
	They want to disqualify you from the very beginning.
	Yeah, women want to disqualify you from the very beginning.
	And the more you talk about yourself, the more you talk, oh, I don't like that.
	He's a Trump supporter.
	I don't like that.
	I think that's why, going back to being, because someone asked earlier, do women really want honesty?
	And I think women want honesty, and I want to get your take on this, Doc, for their own selfish reasons to quickly disqualify you.
	Not necessarily to build upon your honesty, but rather they want your honesty to disqualify you from something that might not necessarily align with their sexual strategy at that moment in time.
	Like, for example, let's say she's 29 and looking for a relationship.
	And you say, I just want to go with the flow and I'm looking for something casual.
	Well, now you've objectively disclosed to her that your goal doesn't align with hers.
	And her goal, unfortunately, is time-sensitive.
	So she will quickly disqualify you.
	But maybe 10 years prior, at 20 years old, you had given her that information.
	Well, at the time, I'm just looking for a good time, etc.
	She might be looking for that as well.
	Your goals align.
	She'll get with you.
	Yeah, I have this line that if you punish the truth, you're asking to be lied to.
	Bam!
	Bam!
	So how many times if you punish the truth, you're asking to be lied to.
	And how many times is that guy going to say up front, yeah, I'm just looking to smash.
	Yeah, I just want some casual.
	It's like you're expecting people to be superhuman and to just say they should be honest, independent of the fact that they're failing and they're experiencing nothing but rejection.
	Yeah.
	So, women unfortunately create different strategies in men.
	They incentivize different strategies in men because they punish certain other strategies.
	And so, men learn, it's like, man, I have a tough choice here.
	I can be totally honest and transparent.
	Or, and be alone, or I can find other ways of navigating this test and get laid and potentially get a relationship.
	Yeah, and the only exception to the rule where I've seen brutal honesty actually work with women You've got to be a higher status guy.
	Sorry.
	There's no way around it.
	There's no way that you'll be able to be honest about what you really want to do, whether it's being polygamous or wanting multiple women, etc., and be able to do it peacefully without a woman being all over you and shit like that, unless you're a higher status guy.
	You have to have more power.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	And it's got to be an overwhelming amount of power from her.
	You've got to be significantly higher on the total pole than her by three to four points for her to accept it.
	We had a very deep discussion about this with Dan Bilzerian.
	He's brutally honest with the girls because he's out there on Instagram, right?
	He's on Jets, and he's always surrounded by women, etc.
	They kind of know the deal when they get involved with a guy like him, right?
	Yeah.
	But he's able to do so because his lifestyle and his status, et cetera, speaks for itself so women know what time it is dealing with a guy like that.
	So you're able to get away with it in certain situations.
	But are most men able to be honest, forfeit a majority of women, and still be able to have sexual access?
	No.
	I would agree.
	So that's why most guys can't afford to be honest.
	We tell you on this podcast, get yourself to a point where you can be honest with girls and tell them I want multiple women, etc.
	But you need to get to a certain level to be able to do it.
	And it's just very difficult for a bunch of guys.
	There's also degrees to honesty.
	Yeah.
	I mean, even if you're committed to being the most forthright and transparent in your conversations, in your dealings with women, there's still things you don't talk about.
	And we're not talking about, I'm purposely hiding this.
	It's just like the camera.
	It's only looking at this one thing that it's looking at right now.
	It's making a choice to focus on this and to not focus on anything else.
	And so it naturally has to leave everything else out.
	And...
	Take everyone, Mo.
	Is some of those things that get left out...
	They're seeing you, but they didn't see us nodding along with you the whole time.
	See, there you go.
	That's an example right there.
	Framing actually is a way of controlling information, which can be on the spectrum of lying.
	It's like you see this on the news all the time when the storm hits, they'll look at the three houses that got knocked over and not at all of the houses that are still standing.
	people are left with this this mostly incorrect view of the devastation that happened you see the framing creates misconceptions yeah so even if you are totally committed to transparency and honesty you might run the risk of leading people on or making misunderstandings yeah I think transparency is a double-edged sword.
	Absolutely.
	You still have to have an allure of mystery.
	Only disclose what is asked and don't offer more information.
	But I think some things have to be out there and open if you want to have a peaceful relationship, especially if you want to be open, which most of you guys, let's be honest, you all want to have your main girl and maybe have multiple girls.
	You tell them, hey, this is what I want, and you kind of just leave it there.
	Let her imagination do most of the work.
	We talk about this, a woman's imagination is your best ally with maintaining attraction.
	I will counter it and say, I ask questions for this dynamic, so I want to know from the very beginning what you want.
	I'll tell you what you want to hear.
	Fresh does it the other way around.
	Because if I know what you want, I'll get what I want by default.
	So we both win it in that scenario.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But the dream could lead to headaches later, but that's fine.
	Fresh is cool with that.
	Oh, okay.
	And then Real quick, I had this written down like a while ago.
	The American Psychologists Association, has it been infiltrated by feminism?
	Is it mostly run by females now?
	I've heard from many people that it's been extremely feminized.
	It's not as empirical as it used to be.
	I mean, what's your take on it?
	I don't know if it's What do I say about this?
	It's definitely a feminized profession.
	I think 80 to 85% of all therapists are women.
	I think about roughly that many of my classmates were women.
	So the vast majority of people in the field are women.
	With respect to feminism, the APA actually put out a document.
	My friend Dr. Sean T. Smith talked about this a while back.
	And it's having to do with a commission on boys and men.
	And it was very heavily influenced by feminist ideology and not empirical research.
	and they talked about toxic masculinity as if that were just like a...
	Universally understood concept, it definitely exists, and it's important to save men from themselves, of their emotional suppression, the bondage of their traditional gender roles, etc.
	Their tendencies to violence and aggression.
	What are your thoughts on the concept of toxic masculinity?
	Well, I don't.
	The idea that masculinity is inherently toxic is obviously ludicrous.
	That doesn't make any sense.
	Is there a possibility that something like toxic masculinity exists?
	Yeah.
	But I would also say there's a possibility that something like toxic femininity exists as well.
	We don't really talk about that.
	There are certain gendered behaviors or traits that can be used for exploitation and have been used Badly in the past.
	You don't want to be a harmless man.
	A harmless man is one that is not useful.
	The way I think about it is this.
	Superman, superhero, can do pretty much anything.
	Indestructible, flies around, shoots heat vision from his eyes.
	Superman could have been Earth's biggest supervillain.
	Like, no one could have stopped Superman.
	The powers that make him good also could have been used for evil.
	Yeah.
	Power allows you to be an effective, competent man.
	How you use that power can be for good and it can be not for good.
	A guy who doesn't have power, a guy who couldn't be evil, is useless.
	Superman could have been evil.
	That's what makes him so good.
	Right?
	If he couldn't fly around and had super strength, it'd be like, you'd just be Clark Kent, the journalist.
	Who cares about that guy?
	So, it's the potential to be evil and the decision not to be that is one of the highest extrapolated forms of masculinity.
	Justin Waller, a good friend of ours, he has this quote and I think it's a very good one.
	It sums this up.
	He says, you need to be able to slit a man's throat and hold your baby within the same hour or in the same day.
	That's heavy, man.
	Yeah, you gotta be able to have that capability to turn it on and then turn it off immediately.
	Hopefully you don't forget which one is which.
	Yeah, that would suck.
	I need an hour in between.
	Some guys can do it in 30 seconds.
	But yeah, he said that's what you need to be able to do.
	You need to slit a man's throat in one hour and then be able to hold your baby that same day.
	And I think that's very important because going back to what you said, men need to be useful.
	And a part of male usefulness is the capability of violence and choosing to not exert that violence.
	I'm for peace, but I do understand that violence is necessary from time to time, especially in its defensive aspects.
	To protect, yeah.
	If you look at the police, the military, the reason why we live in a civilized society is Freedom isn't free.
	It comes at a cost.
	And that cost a lot of the times is intrusion in your civil liberties to a degree.
	I think the United States does the best job of it where we have a semblance of freedom while simultaneously having a semblance of national security.
	But you cannot have the utmost national security while simultaneously having the utmost freedom because the two counteract each other.
	So I think we have a very good balance of it compared to the rest of the world, right?
	People complain about the United States, whatever.
	I still think we're the best house in a shitty neighborhood.
	So, right?
	So, my thing is, with freedom, shit, damn, I lost my train of thought.
	I was talking about freedom.
	Violence?
	Violence.
	Yeah.
	Comes at a cost.
	It comes at a cost.
	Shit, what was I going to go with this?
	Goddammit.
	It'll come back to me.
	My bad.
	America.
	I think it should be a...
	It's been three hours.
	It should be something of last resort.
	Yeah.
	Sometimes there are problems that you can't talk yourself out of.
	I remember.
	Sorry.
	You need...
	There needs the monopoly of power, right?
	So security can only exist...
	When there's someone to enforce that security, right?
	So the monopoly power, the reason why we live in a civilized world that I was talking about, sorry, civilized first world country, etc., is because we have a government, we have the police, we have the military, etc., that enforce laws, right, on you.
	If you go out and break the law, the police will come after you, and they will subdue you physically if they need to, and then they will constrain you in a jail cell, and no one wants to do that.
	So there's physical ramifications that will lead to pain in the future if you do not follow the law.
	So that monopoly of power is extremely important to keep semblance, right?
	Or mutually assured destruction, right?
	With the nuclear bombs.
	Right now, we're the closest to being in a nuclear war than ever before because of our conflict with Russia.
	But people having nukes...
	You know, interestingly, keeps peace.
	That's right.
	The number of lives lost to war since the atomic bombs were dropped on Japan is significantly lower than the number of lives lost to war in the hundred years before that.
	Good point.
	I mean, I saw the movie Oppenheimer, right?
	Okay.
	And that's all I'll say.
	And in that movie, though, dropping the bombs in Japan was kind of a last resort.
	They did it to avoid the loss of life of American soldiers.
	Because Japan immediately surrendered and ended World War II. We haven't been in a conflict of that level since then.
	Right?
	So...
	The monopoly of power, the threat of violence does keep things...
	I mean, we talked about it earlier.
	When two men are sitting down, there's that...
	And this is also, too, why I think, like, with men, they tend to be more respectful than women a lot of the times.
	And I'm going somewhere with this.
	Like, with men, when they speak to each other, there's that threat of violence.
	There's that capability that, okay, this guy might fuck me up, I might fuck him up, but I'm not sure.
	So you know what?
	I'm going to be peaceful.
	Keeps things in check.
	With women, however, I've noticed, especially when they deal with a man, fuck you, motherfucker, blah, blah, blah.
	And they might even enact violence on you because women don't have a good grasp on true violence, right?
	They don't really know the carnage that men are capable of.
	That's why we've brought girls on the show and they say crazy shit like, oh yeah, I'll fight a man.
	I'll fight a man, blah, blah, blah.
	And I'm like, wow, you really have never been punched in the face before by a male.
	Yeah, Bill Burr had a lot of good bits on this.
	You know, how much of an asshole he would be if it was illegal for someone to hit him.
	Yeah.
	But yeah, I think guys need to understand that and need to be capable of violence.
	Let's see here.
	And that was from the Americans.
	So yeah, so you would say it's become feminized, the American psychology.
	Certainly with that document and the way that they're treating masculinity in general these days, the profession is obviously totally feminized.
	You made a video called Women Punish the Men They Like.
	Sure.
	Can you go a little bit deeper into that?
	Yeah, I mean, I actually was inspired by this one with Tom Brady.
	And Tom Brady got divorced, right?
	And at least the official story there was, it was Giselle, right?
	Yeah, because he wanted to play another season or something like that.
	Yeah.
	Allegedly.
	Guess what?
	He's a football player, the greatest that ever lived.
	I think that she kind of knew that when she signed up for that.
	So that's kind of strange.
	But the idea here is that if Tom was just some schmoe, Oh, so the line was he was going to play another season and she really wanted him at home.
	Yeah.
	She really wanted him involved with the family.
	It's like, okay, fair enough.
	But if this guy was a deadbeat, if this guy was a schmo, do you think that she would really care that he wasn't around?
	True.
	On some level?
	Yeah.
	So it's like a woman has to like you to make it worth punishing you.
	It takes effort and it's somewhat risky in order to try to punish or leverage a man.
	She's not going to do that unless she's interested.
	So that's one way in which women punish the men they like.
	They also punish them in the sense that they do the right things with the wrong guys.
	Men do this too.
	They do this all the time.
	Like a guy will be stone cold and kind of indifferent and have excellent game with sixes because he doesn't really care.
	She's not that emotionally invested.
	And those girls always seem to want a relationship with him.
	And then if he actually gets his hands on eight or a nine, he throws all of that game out the window and he starts putting her on a pedestal and doing things that he would never do for the five or the six, right?
	And what I tell guys is, Those numbers kind of only exist in your mind.
	If it worked on the sixes, it's going to work on the nines.
	Like, you did the right thing with the wrong girl.
	You know that it worked because she was blowing up your phone and she was asking, when can I see you again?
	And she wanted to get into a relationship.
	If that worked on that woman, it will work on another woman.
	Well said.
	So, how do women punish the men they like?
	I remember I was out to drinks with a woman I used to date, and one of her girlfriends was joining us.
	And she was just in town for the weekend.
	And we were like, hey, what do you want to do when you're here?
	And she's like, yeah, well, there's this guy.
	I don't really know him.
	I'm not all that interested in him.
	So, I actually am going to meet up with him for a drink later, and I'll probably just go home with him.
	Mm-hmm.
	Wow.
	And I was like, oh, okay, that's interesting.
	And she's like, yeah, I don't really like them all that much.
	So it's no big deal.
	And I think I turned to the girl I was dating.
	I said, could you like me less?
	So what do women do with the guys that they like?
	They say, oh, I actually am interested in you.
	I don't want to go too fast.
	I want to take some time.
	Take things slow.
	Yeah.
	And then when they really are interested in you, they want all of your attention.
	They want all of your commitment.
	This woman was behaving to a man that she wasn't interested in like most men would like to be treated.
	It's like, wow, she's just going to come over.
	We're going to have a drink.
	We're going to have sex and she's going to leave.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	She must really hate me.
	Yeah.
	She's rewarding bad behavior.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	But the fact of the matter is to women, it's just sex.
	What matters to them more is the emotional commitment.
	And once they get that emotional interest, they start to deviate from the behavior that actually serves to lock in male attention.
	Are people still watching three and a half hours?
	Yeah, we're gonna close this thing out.
	This is my last question.
	Women making society polygamous.
	Yeah.
	There was a general social survey that was done recently that basically disclosed that in the last year, one out of three men under 30 did not have sex.
	That's an incredible finding.
	The 20s are a really important decade for mating and dating.
	And this basically said that one in three guys were completely invisible.
	They were totally not even in the sexual marketplace.
	The comparable statistic for women in the same age group was one in six.
	So one in six women under 30 did not have sex in the previous year.
	So if you do the math, this basically means that active participants in the sexual marketplace, there's five women for every four men.
	That means somebody's sharing somebody.
	Yep.
	I mean, the numbers don't add up otherwise.
	Absolutely.
	So roughly, according to those statistics, 20% of women are in some sort of polygamous arrangement, whether they're aware of it or not.
	Now, does that mean that they're in a negotiated, open relationship?
	At minimum, yeah.
	Well, yeah.
	You also see the fact with respect to the distribution in body count, right?
	The top 1% of women have had 50 partners or more.
	The top 1% of men have had 150 partners or more.
	Yeah.
	So what we also see as a consequence of this is I'm sure you talk about this on your channel is hypergamy.
	Yeah.
	Women want to date for game.
	We were talking about that earlier.
	And women are doing very well these days.
	Like in most quantifiable metrics, they're actually out earning men in the West under 30 without children in that demographic.
	Yeah.
	They're more likely to graduate high school, college, postgraduate degrees.
	Absolutely.
	Especially in income and education, they're doing really well relative to men.
	Which basically means that if they're continuing to hang on to their hypergamy, there's a smaller and smaller pool of men that they're ever going to even consider as a potential mate.
	Yep.
	And these guys at the top enjoy unprecedented optionality.
	Yeah.
	And so you actually have a few guys who are having access to the vast majority of the sexual opportunity in the marketplace.
	Yeah.
	And the likelihood that any one of those guys at any given moment is going to give up all of that incredible optionality for this one woman is functionally very, very low.
	Especially when he had to work to get there.
	That's why I say men treat women the way women treat money.
	Okay?
	We can talk about that in a second.
	Go into it, yeah.
	When you get a chance, yeah.
	What I'm saying here is...
	The optionality.
	Yeah.
	The men that women want things from are the least likely to give it to them.
	Yeah.
	And women don't seem to understand that.
	Yeah.
	The men that women most want things from are the least likely to give it to them.
	Cool.
	If most women say want commitment, if most women want monogamy, if most women want long-term provision...
	The men that they want those things from at the top 10%, they're the least likely to give them those things.
	They'll give them a sexual encounter.
	They don't have any problem with that, but they're very unlikely to give them those things because it means giving up all this other optionality.
	Yeah, that they have to fight for.
	Yes, men have to earn their optionality, just like women have to earn their money.
	It's Women, it's like, would you rather spend your own money or somebody else's money?
	Of course you'd rather spend someone else's money.
	That is rational.
	You're very loath to give up your money if you had to put your blood, sweat, and tears into earning it.
	Men have to earn their sexual optionality.
	That's why they're very loath to give it up.
	They're also more likely to take it when it's offered.
	Because I've never heard a woman who was offered money say, no thank you.
	I have enough money or I have a job.
	And I want to say this, because I want you to expand on that a little bit and we'll close out.
	The top 10% of men?
	This is what I was going to say.
	Feminism, women being educated, women making money, etc.
	Women getting all these rights and privileges and all this access.
	What it inadvertently did in unforeseen circumstances, and no one talks about this, is it actually has put the top 1% of guys in the driver's seat.
	They're the ones that really control the sexual marketplace.
	Now, do women in general control it?
	Absolutely.
	But the reality is the guys at the absolute top, they control the sexual marketplace and they control the monopoly.
	And women inadvertently did this by increasing their own status.
	Because they're slaves to their hypergamy.
	So therefore, since they're slaves to their hypergamy, and men need to always be in the social hierarchy at the top for women to be attracted, they've inadvertently given all the power to a small percentage of men that you just described are the least likely to give them what they want.
	So they have to settle with a guy, a lot of times, that's on their level, or maybe lower, and they can't satisfy that hypergamous tendency.
	Every girl come on the podcast.
	Oh, I date a guy that's a bum.
	I date a guy that's less than me.
	Where's he at now?
	That's my famous response.
	And they never have an answer.
	It's fucking crickets every single time.
	So, yeah.
	Real quick, you have an analogy with men treat women with the money analogy.
	Can you tell the audience that one last time?
	Yeah, I made a video a while ago.
	It was entitled, Women Treat Men the Way Men Treat Jobs.
	And it was kind of a way to introduce men to the concept of hypergamy.
	It's not personal.
	Yeah.
	Like, you might be at a job.
	You might not have any problem with your job.
	You might even be happy with your job.
	But if you get a call from a recruiter and says, hey, I just got off the phone with this company, they're willing to off you three times your salary.
	They're going to give you unlimited PTO. You don't have to commute to work anymore.
	You're at least going to entertain that offer.
	And the vast majority of folks aren't going to entertain it for very long.
	They're going to put in their notice.
	And they're going to say, and they're going to believe it.
	They're going to say, I wish you all the best.
	It was great to work here.
	You were so wonderful.
	I really hope that you guys succeed.
	I just have to do this for my career.
	That's the right move to make as a career.
	Right?
	And no one is going to say, After all the training we gave you, it's like, of course we understand that they're going to go somewhere else if they offer them three times as much money.
	That's how women treat relationships.
	It's not personal.
	It's what man offers the most compelling, complete person.
	Salary package.
	That comes back to your rationality that you described earlier.
	Exactly.
	And it's not just money.
	Like, I know women, for example, who will take a pay cut if it means that they have more flexibility with their hours, or they don't have to commute.
	So, I have another metaphor that's like, it's the cat that decides what milk is good.
	You can't be pouring out milk and be like, cats should like this milk.
	It's like, if there's no cats drinking your milk, dude, that milk ain't good.
	The cat decides what milk is good.
	You know?
	The market dictates your value.
	And it's that woman's preferences in that moment.
	Like time, money.
	It could be, for example, just lifestyle.
	Whatever she wants as her primary agency, if the man provides it, that might be her gold.
	And she's going to choose, all things being equal, the man that offers her the best possible option of her available options.
	Right.
	That's it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And so the best way to secure the best possible relationship as a man is to be a woman's best possible option.
	This is the other flip side of it.
	It's like most guys know what it's like to have shitty jobs.
	Like we were talking earlier, it takes about 10 years to build anything, right?
	Now, you might have dealt with low paying jobs or disrespectful bosses or overbearing colleagues.
	And imagine after 10 years, you actually land a job where the salary is good and you're doing something meaningful and you like your colleagues and you're excited to go to work.
	You're not going to do shit to rock the boat in that situation, especially because you know what the job market is like out there.
	Yeah, you could lose this job.
	It's probably not going to be a step up.
	Yeah.
	Women know what's out there.
	This is why I always call a bluff on a woman's jealousy tactic, which is other men make me look good.
	You know what I'm saying?
	I have nothing to fear from the average dude out there.
	Go and see for yourself, sweetie.
	No skin off my back.
	So if you become a woman's best option, and she's actually had some experience in the sexual marketplace, not necessarily by sleeping around, but just by dating and knowing what kind of men are out there, and she can recognize you as a high-value man, you're going to have effortless relationships.
	But you have to be significantly her best option.
	Yeah, yeah.
	The money thing real quick.
	Can you describe that to the audience before we close out?
	Because you had said women don't want to spend their own money, etc.
	But there was a metaphor linked to sexual market value real quick.
	Sure.
	Yeah, the money thing.
	So I made that video and people said, we'll do the same thing for women.
	And okay.
	So I thought about it and I came up with the metaphor that men treat women the way women treat money.
	And you might think on the surface it's kind of the same thing.
	Women treat men like jobs.
	Men treat women like money.
	Not the same thing at all.
	Okay.
	One of the main reasons why is what are your associations about work?
	For most people.
	Yeah.
	80% plus hate their jobs.
	Got those Mondays, man.
	What's people's association with getting paid?
	Awesome.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's the second Friday of the month.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Okay.
	So this is what most women don't understand.
	It's like, I can now go into a bar, and maybe in an hour I can come out with five numbers, okay?
	It took me ten years to be able to pick up a girl in ten minutes.
	I had to overcome my approach anxiety.
	I had to be charming.
	I had to learn some game.
	I had to get my fashion on point.
	Like I had to be someone that a woman would be attracted to relative to my competition.
	And she needs to be able to see that in five minutes or less.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Thank you.
	Women don't understand.
	When she says yes, that's my payday.
	I've worked for 10 years to get that yes.
	From her perspective, we just talked for five minutes.
	I did 10 years of work to get that yes in five minutes.
	You understand?
	And that's why women don't get it.
	We do all of that in order to get access to them.
	So when we get it, it's payday.
	We don't think we got to do anything more.
	What kind of relationship goals do most men have?
	They're just happy to be there most of the time.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Simple.
	Because it's like, finally, I got the girl.
	Women have no idea of how hard it is for the average man to get a woman.
	Versus it's just the beginning for the woman.
	You know what I'm saying?
	And she might get frustrated like, where is this?
	It's like, dude, I just put in a decade of work.
	Can we just chill here for a while?
	You know what I'm saying?
	So that's one way, is that men have to earn their sexual opportunity.
	And just like women are unlikely to pass up freely offered money, men are much less likely to pass up freely offered sexual opportunity.
	Yeah.
	Another part of this metaphor is, if we're talking about money, and you went to your financial advisor, do you think he would ever, like ever under any circumstances, say you need to invest all of your money into one stock?
	No, absolutely not.
	That would be ludicrous.
	It would be stupid.
	So a lot of men, let's say, diversify their portfolios.
	And women do that too.
	That's why we're talking plan B, plan C, plan D, plan Z. They understand this.
	That's why they don't like it when men do that.
	It's not because they don't get it.
	They get it.
	It's a taste of their medicine.
	Kind of.
	Yeah.
	That's why they don't love that, because it's like, oh, he's doing kind of what I'm doing here, you know?
	And if I'm doing it, then it evens out that power imbalance, which is generally not looked well on by the person who enters into the situation with more power, which is often the woman.
	Yeah.
	Does that make sense?
	They're used to being in the driver's seat.
	But it's ironic because that's what gets them attracted to you, is that you can kick them off the driver's seat and you're in it, which is interesting.
	It's a fine line, man.
	It's almost impossible to walk that line.
	Women want a guy who's confident but not cocky.
	It's like, okay, you're just walking on the razor's edge.
	And that's just one of 100 examples I could give.
	Yeah.
	No, man.
	Dude, I'll give you the last word, man.
	He is Dr.
	Orion Terabin.
	Terabin, right?
	Terabin.
	Terabin, you got it.
	Guys, subscribe to his YouTube channel.
	30 minutes of pure value and pure content.
	This was so much fun, guys.
	Myron's good to meet you.
	Walter, great to meet you.
	Thank you for having me out in Miami.
	I'm glad I came out here in person.
	This is going to be the last time.
	I would love to bring you back periodically and we can have these discussions.
	Imagine him Rolo and maybe like Sartain.
	We could definitely have that discussion.
	I think it'd be great to have a panel show like that.
	We'll bring you out and everything.
	I think people really enjoyed this discussion.
	We had like 10-11,000 the whole time watching.
	Amazing.
	You guys can be at the club and instead you're here and Club Fresh are hanging out with us, man.
	Let's go!
	I'll give you the last word, man.
	Where can people find you?
	Any projects you've got going on?
	Sure.
	Best way to find me is on YouTube.
	That's Psych Hacks.
	You can just look that up.
	There are links to my website.
	I do consultations for folks, men and women.
	I've talked to them all over the world.
	It's one of the best perks of this celebrity that I have now is access to people from all over the planet.
	A real therapist, guys.
	It's going to give you solutions.
	I don't do therapy.
	Make that distinction.
	Sorry, my bad.
	Well, real consultations and help you out.
	Consultations are really about actionable, practical advice.
	They're generally one or two sessions max.
	It's like, here's, tell me your problem.
	This is what you can do.
	Let me hear how it goes.
	Right.
	I am working on a book.
	Don't know what the title is yet.
	Hope to finish it by the end of the year, but people have been asking for it.
	I'm really excited about how it's coming out.
	I think it's coming out really good.
	I think it's going to be one of the best books on the subject, to be honest.
	So, I haven't read yours yet, though.
	Maybe you can give me a copy.
	Oh, I wouldn't deserve less?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	I'll definitely send you a copy for sure.
	Yeah.
	What's he...
	Anything else, Mo, here?
	Yeah.
	Because it lasts super chats.
	Okay, we said 15 up, but I got you, Ali.
	110 Ali goes, been with my girl for three years.
	She'd been through tough times when I was in the hospital with health issues, but I came closer to my D in Islam and she's not Muslim, doesn't have traditional values.
	Advice.
	Let your leadership be what switches her over, my friend.
	Women typically tend to align themselves with the strongest guy in their life.
	She will switch over if she sees you as the best option, etc.
	That's good advice.
	Ashton Moore, her fresh and fit, thank you.
	Oh, hey.
	Okay.
	Thank you so much.
	I have been watching y'all for one year and a half, and y'all have made me learn how to be a better wife for my husband, and we have been happier than ever.
	Appreciate y'all.
	Thank you so much.
	Good job.
	I appreciate that.
	Enrique Diaz goes, y'all help me.
	Hey, guys, I own a moving business, and Callie and I want to fly out with a team and move your podcast for free.
	After all, the YouTube BS, but Myron Buffett ass looks like the type to move his own shit.
	I appreciate that, man.
	We got a guy, so...
	I really appreciate that, though.
	Thank you so much for the love, my friend.
	Just subscribe to Locals and the Rumble, and that will be...
	That's all we need.
	That's all we need, man.
	But guys, go support Psych Hacks on YouTube.
	Book a consultation.
	When you drop your book, obviously, we're going to have you on.
	I'd love to have you back on a panel show in the near future.
	And yeah, guys, go support it, man.
	Let's get them to 200K. And other than that, man, we'll catch you guys on the next episode of Fresh to Fit on Monday for After Hours.
	Sorry, for Money Monday and then After Hours.
	Peace!
	I ran, I ran so far away.

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