Jumpscare and Mark critique right-wing figures like Nancy Mace for destroying families while mocking Fox News coverage. They analyze Spirit Airlines' potential collapse, debating public takeovers against consolidation risks that raise prices and reduce competition. The hosts propose radical solutions like socialized airlines and joke about absurd onboard amenities. Later, they discuss Russia's corruption and anti-gay stance before recounting a controversial best man speech in Tennessee where jokes about the groom's sexuality and the Pope confused conservative Catholic guests. Ultimately, the episode blends political satire with industry criticism and personal anecdotes to challenge traditional narratives on family, faith, and corporate accountability. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: CohereLabs/cohere-transcribe-03-2026, WAV2VEC2_ASR_BASE_960H, sat-12l-sm, script v26.04.01, and large-v3-turbo
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Stick Around For Cutie Cinderella00:01:50
Stick around where Katie Cinderella is going to walk in and be on this episode eventually.
Just watch all the way through.
Audience retention, stick through the entire episode.
The entirety is going to walk in and do a cartwheel.
Yeah, that's right.
Hi, producer Jumpscare here.
Hi, it's me, Mark.
Sorry to interrupt.
Didn't mean to startle you.
Just wanted to jump in here and let you know in case you missed it and you don't follow us on social media, is that our merch is live.
Right now, as you're watching this, you can go to fearand.com and get yourself some merch, but you got to be quick.
It's flying off the shelves.
And once it's sold out, it's gone forever.
We got a hat.
We got some shirts.
We got a knit.
We got a jacket.
We got a chain.
If you care, If you want merch, get it while it's hot.
Okay, back to the show.
Goodbye.
Love you.
Okay, see ya.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Fear and Podcast where it's only men.
That's right.
Boys.
I feel like we've been here before.
We've been here before.
Guys, a minute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just letting the dong hang.
Putting the nuts on the table, that sort of stuff.
That's right.
Absolutely.
We've lost so much viewer retention immediately.
Okay, let's not.
Okay, let's do it again.
We miss.
Well, first of all, this is genuine.
We miss women.
On the podcast, specifically my favorite woman, which is Cutie Cinderella.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we love her dearly, and we're going to put her in the thumbnail.
Yeah.
So I'm going to show you guys that.
She'll see when you realize that you can do it.
Marginally, stick around where Cutie Cinderella is going to walk in and be on this episode eventually.
Just watch all the way through.
Audience retention, stick through the entire episode.
The entire episode.
Cutie is going to walk in and do a cartwheel.
Fox News Radical Gay Hypothesis00:05:49
Yeah, that's right.
Well, welcome, gentlemen.
I really missed you guys.
I was thinking about it the other day, and I was like, I really do miss you guys.
I skipped a week.
Yeah, we kind of block shot.
Oh, yeah.
So we haven't seen each other in a minute.
So much has happened.
Yeah.
I've been traveling around the country.
You have been.
You have been.
I've been doing like your dream, basically.
I know.
Traveling around the country, speaking in front of massive crowds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaking in front of massive crowds of adoring fans.
Yeah.
Well, I know.
That keep yelling out my name.
Can I start opening for you?
No.
No.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage.
Also, you can't handle that smoke.
Are you kidding me?
No, no, not the crowds.
What comes next?
I'm also getting covered on Fox News every single day.
There's probably eight clips of me on Fox News today.
It's Sunday.
It's probably a slow news.
I think they need a more moderate version of me to talk on your behalf, a version of you.
You're gay.
They're going to be like this radical homosexual, and then they're going to play all of your like joke moments where you make any jokes whatsoever.
Destroying the nuclear family and having orgies all the time.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what I'm saying.
Anything you've ever seen?
Boom.
Clip.
I mean, I don't know.
I think that destroying the nuclear family is actually very popular in the United States.
You're not talking about it.
I mean, Megyn Kelly is talking about you.
I mean, like, nobody, like, even the people in the nuclear family are like, oh, fuck.
This sucks.
It's boring.
Yeah.
That's actually one of the craziest things is like a lot of these guys swing.
Yeah.
Nancy Mace, swinger.
Okay.
Marjorie Taylor Greene, right.
Big swinger.
Yeah.
Like, 100% cheated on her husband with the CrossFit instructor.
Yeah.
So, like, Lauren Buber.
Lauren Boebert, yeah.
I mean, Lauren Boebert's story is also insane because, like, when she was a minor, her husband.
Like, when she was a minor age?
Yeah, when she was.
Was she in the mines?
No, she was not in the coal mines.
Watson showed.
I was worried that she was down in a coal mine.
She was working hard at the coal mines.
That's where she became a conservative down there.
That's right.
Her husband, like, their first interaction was when they went to a bowling alley and the husband actually flashed.
Both her and her other minor friends.
Sorry.
So, and then, and then I guess Lobo liked what she saw and was like, that's, that's gonna be my husband one day.
They're no longer married, but, you know, so the, the, my point is a lot of these like right wing people, like the, the family people, nuclear family people, they're freaks.
They're all that freak.
Everybody that I've talked to that is married and straight is, it just, it doesn't seem fun.
I don't know what, it seems like they, they take pride in the suffering of being together forever.
Right.
And like, they're just like, oh, fuck.
Like, I just, I'm, you know, like the whole time.
You're sucking me through the dents.
Yeah, you know, it's just like suffering, like, oh, we're gonna die together.
Oh, yeah, you know, this is Fox News bait right here.
Like, well, 100%.
I would laugh if I was that's awesome.
If Austin cooked up a top of show to be like, get on Fox News as radical gay, yeah, homosexual, he just keeps like sneakily being like, what if we actually made all the kids.
Gay, you gotta wonder what if we actually did kill the wealthy?
Yeah, he's just not so subtly trying to get on Fox News.
No, but like, looks at the camera, yeah.
Um, the reason why I say that though is because, like, they do now have officially a full time tracker, like, they have a Fox News journalist that sits in my stream the entire time and logs moments.
I know that for a fact because they some intern.
Yeah, there's a guy in there.
Do you think you'll turn him gay?
Maybe.
Just like I did with Austin.
Can you imagine if the Fox News intern sits in Hassan's chat long enough and all of a sudden he's like, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
God, I love him.
Maybe this guy's getting it.
Slowly but surely, the news titles are going to be more favorable.
Yeah, handsome.
Yeah, handsome.
Handsome.
Just slips it in there.
Handsome Hassan says the truth.
Why are people yelling at him?
Radical Muslim Hassan Piker speaks about insurrection.
Also, I'm definitely not attracted to it.
So I have a theory here.
Liberals, the establishment Democrats, a lot of them are diet MAGA, as I like.
I coined the term diet MAGA.
And they would rather lose to Republicans than deliver an agenda for working class Americans, right?
That's one thing to be true.
The Republicans, on the other hand, they would obviously, they don't.
Um, want you to win obviously because they are freaks on the other side, right?
Okay, but here's the stand for the diametrically opposite thing.
I believe that both the diet MAGA liberals and MAGA believe that you are, for some reason, your policies are unelectable, they're not elected.
I think it's completely the opposite.
Yeah, I don't think it's the reason that they are attacking his character is because they know if you get some politicians elected that actually enact some of these policies and people are like, wait a minute.
The bus is free and my son isn't trans.
What's happening?
Like, the whole world isn't burning down.
It's the Zoram Mamdani situation.
But they're making it worse.
But that's exactly it.
Free Bus And Trial Gym Membership00:04:13
That's why they have to cut him down at the knees before people, the fear around him.
But it's not working.
Abdul Al Sayed is.
He's like surging in the polls now.
Yeah.
Is Sayed or Sayed?
Sayed.
Yeah.
He's surging in the polls.
Right?
I'm starting to think that I could run and you could push me up.
No.
Come on.
What do you think?
I think that there's.
I'm just going to run for office in some random district.
Come on, give it to me.
Find me a weak candidate, and I will run for you.
Every time, every time.
I will run the Austin Show rally.
Come on.
He doesn't care about anything, he just wants to be in front of bigger crowds.
I've got a radical theory democracy is good.
I'm Austin Show.
Yeah.
He's going to run on the 9 11 was bad kicking.
Dude, he's going to have a shirt that says, if I did come into immense power, and people will be wearing it.
The immense power tour.
Yeah, look, I think I'd be great.
I'm so afraid.
You would be devastated.
Would you campaign for me?
I would campaign against it.
I'll go right back.
I would try to primary you instantly.
I'd be like, this is a man who I have seen with a fraction of power.
Oh my God.
And the way he has utilized, the way he, exactly, exactly.
And yet you have lorded it over people with the crumb.
I will say, I did exercise a little power yesterday.
Oh.
I felt very powerful.
I went to a gym, right?
I got a trial, 14 day free trial.
Yeah.
And my buddies came in the day before.
They have a membership.
They got into the gym.
The next day, they came in, denied access because their gym membership wasn't high enough.
And they're like, well, we were let in yesterday.
What happened?
They're like, oh, it was just a courtesy.
I said, what kind of courtesy is it to let us walk a mile to go to a gym that we didn't even know we weren't allowed to go to?
This is during your trial membership.
This is my trial membership.
And like, I'm a potential customer.
You know what I said?
I said, there's eight days left on my trial.
Terminate my trial.
I walked out.
I don't even want the free gym membership.
And I was like, I felt so powerful.
Wait a second.
That's the way the story ends.
They didn't try to win you over.
No.
They just let me walk out.
Yeah, because they knew he was a psycho.
But when he brought six, Twinks with them to the gym.
No, these people had memberships during my free trial.
If I want to fucking suck in the steam room, that's my right.
What was like the elevated?
What is the charge?
Equinox.
No, it was EOS.
What's EOS?
EOS is like some gym that doesn't have money.
What is the monthly on it?
I think it was like $100 a month or something.
That's pretty good.
I need to say something.
What was the elevated membership that they couldn't?
I don't know.
They have, my friends are from Utah and they had like some, I don't know, I don't know, Mormon membership.
You better say Mormon membership.
Yeah, that was cheaper because LA is so fucking expensive because they're constantly exploiting people for more money.
Hey, I just don't believe in expensive gyms.
Full stop.
The reason why I'll defend expensive gyms is because two reasons.
One, even dead broke, I always try to scrounge up enough money to go to a nicer gym.
Crazy.
For two reasons.
One, amenities, okay?
Shower, all of that stuff.
Everything that's not working out, you're proving my point.
No, I pay for the sauna basically.
Yeah, sauna, amenities, all that stuff is good.
But more importantly, I think it kicks your ass into going because you're like, this is an eye watering amount of money that you're paying for this gym.
You have to go.
It's like the same principle of buying new gym clothes.
If you've been in a slump, you've never had these problems, so you don't understand.
You just go to the gym for like eight and a half hours and you fucking white knuckle through the process.
It's not everyone is fucking rock lead.
I bench pressed 300 pounds without a spotter last week.
Oh, dude.
I also bench pressed in New York.
Yeah, it was a good bench.
It was.
Yes, I did.
I did.
What's your bench?
I don't bench.
He doesn't.
He does the machine.
Hey, I called it out on a great team.
He's got great chests.
He's flexing him.
You can see the LA logo move.
You guys may be bigger than me in every single way, including your penis, but my.
Why Airlines Charge So Much00:15:27
No one brought that up.
Why did you bring that up?
I just know you both have bigger penises.
But there's no reason to bring it up.
No, and I respect it.
Okay.
I respect it.
It's okay.
Not much smaller, but I'm telling you.
I brought that up.
It's.
I don't want that to change anything between, but that's why I won't show it.
Why would it change anything?
Anyway, regardless.
But I will say, my titties, biggest on the Fear Hand podcast, including Cutie Cinderella.
Crazy shit.
She's not even here.
She's not even here.
What?
She's not even here.
I mean, I think she's got great.
You're the one who's always telling her she's got big fantasies.
I know.
You're like, oh, they're awoogas.
They're like, what are they?
Like double Z?
Well, now that she's not here, I can, you know, she won't see it.
You are so gay.
I have been waiting with my mouth salvating for this topic.
I have something that is going to unite.
You too.
I'm ready.
In holy matri, it will be forever and ever.
And Marsh, it's not the one I sent you, it's a new one.
Uh huh.
Ladies and gentlemen, last week, this week, Spirit Airlines.
Hold!
Hold!
Hold, gentlemen!
Fuck!
Hold!
Please, edge.
You have to edge.
I'm about to bust.
No, it's not.
It's hard.
It's hard.
Let it better not come back!
Hard as a diamond.
March is taking so long to log on to his Discord so we can look at this goddamn link.
Oh my god.
Ladies and gentlemen, Austin Cho is not here because he's fucking dead.
And that's because he didn't use ZocDoc.
That's true.
As you guys know, famously, he's always panting, crying, farting a lot, too.
You don't really get to hear it from the noise game, but he farts a lot.
He farts a lot.
We can smell it.
Yeah, it's devastating.
It's really difficult for us to hold our noses while we continue doing the podcast.
That's right.
And we kept telling him, go to ZocDoc and find a doctor you actually can have in your network.
Because finding a good doctor is like finding a doctor or a diamond in the rough.
Yeah.
Finding a doctor is like finding a doctor.
And ZocDoc will help you find that doctor.
ZocDoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love and maybe even fall in love with.
Stop putting off those doctor's appointments like Austin show and go to ZocDoc.comslash fear to find and instantly book a doctor you love today.
That's Z O C D O C.comslash fear.
ZocDoc.comslash fear.
Thank you, ZocDoc.
For sponsoring this message, and let's do a moment of silence for Austin Show, who's no longer with us.
You should have gotten on Zoc.
You should have gone on Zoc.
Listen, I feel like I just stuck it in just a little bit.
Spirit Airlines went out of business.
I know.
Millions of travelers are disenfranchised.
One brave man on social media talked to social media, and he said that there are millions of people that fly Spirit Airlines every month.
Right.
If those people each put up $100, they could place a bid and buy Spirit Airlines.
And Spirit Airlines could become the first publicly owned airline.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we changed the name to Our Airlines.
I, for the people, by the people in the sky.
Go ahead.
Ready?
And go.
Oh!
Yeah.
Okay, this is why no one is going to watch this episode.
Okay, here.
No, I think people are going to tune in.
I think it's a fantastic idea.
Hit the comment if you like me jerking them.
I think it's a fantastic idea.
I think the people.
I might have moved the camera.
He busted too hard.
Okay, I think it's a fantastic idea.
And let me tell you something.
First thing I want to start and back up a little bit.
Spirit Airlines, a lot of people, you know, this is not a good thing.
It's not a good thing, all right?
The reason it's not a good thing is thousands and thousands of people are now unemployed.
Number one.
Number two, it further consolidates the airline industry, reducing competition and driving prices higher for consumers.
This benefits the other airlines because the airlines, for a long time, including actually Spirit, who wanted to merge with JetBlue, they want to further consolidate so they can control more pricing.
Delta is out here admitting it in cold blood.
The CEO's on TV, I don't know for who this is for, talking about how they see shareholders.
That's your guy.
Yeah, it is.
No, but I'm pissed at Ed Bastion.
Ed, if you're fucking listening, I know your email address.
He's on a first name basis.
Okay.
Eduardo.
Eddie.
I know Ed Bastion's email address because my dad social engineered it to send him an email when he complained about a Delta Airlines experience.
Did he respond?
Yeah, he found it and Ed was like, Well, how did you find this?
But where do you think I learned how to advocate for myself from?
This is new information, but it's a canon event.
I now know exactly why you are the way you are.
This is my Lebanese father.
He will always advocate for himself.
Anyway, regardless, yeah, Adelta's out there talking about how they're increasing prices and they aren't going to reduce them even when oil prices come back.
This is not good.
This is not good.
It's so funny that they're just like, We have such tremendous corporate consolidation that they're like, Yeah, you're gonna eat and die, and there's literally nothing you can do about it because there's only three airlines that you could use in most marketplaces.
And I'm gonna be honest, the other ones, not so great.
No, I don't know.
I'm Caroline got attacked on an American airline.
I know, I'm a bit of an American Airlines truther, except for that.
What American Airlines sucks.
Car, yeah, it does bad.
I kind of like it, and not in a cool, gay way.
Well, yeah, thank you.
I kind of like American Airlines.
That's progress.
No, I love that.
That wouldn't have happened 10 years ago.
Experience, and I want to hear Austin's take on this.
We had an interesting March and I.
Oh, well, go ahead.
Had an interesting experience not with spirit.
We're going to get back to spirit in a second.
We know your ass don't flesh with Southwest.
No, I've oh, you flew Southwest, God, but I flew with Southwest because, as you know, I'm doing the America tour, yeah, right?
We're going to all these different places, and some of these are smaller markets, so they usually have like one carrier, maybe two, yeah, so there's not a lot of availability.
So we're flying Southwest, um, and we get to the line, and and we had like the economy plus or whatever.
And Southwest, I didn't know this actually changed their structure.
So famously, Southwest back in the day actually had a very Nice benefits package where every single employee of Southwest was actually a shareholder as well of the company.
Herb Kelleher, iconic CEO.
So they eradicated that.
Got his email too.
Sent him dick pics one time.
They're like, here.
And it wasn't even a positive.
Hey, Herb.
Love what you're doing.
Six and a half.
I'll be honest.
Look up Herb.
He may have liked it.
Okay.
I'm not saying he was gay, but he was a freaky dude.
Okay.
He was clearly a little bit more.
God rest his soul.
Is he dead?
Oh, yeah, he died a long time ago.
He was born in the 20s.
Of course, he was an old person.
Yeah, but I think he was a lot more woke because they had this very interesting principled stance.
Look at the way he's holding that airplane.
Oh, yeah.
See, look.
They had a very interesting principled stance initially that all the employees had a buy in.
They were bought into the company doing well and they do well as well.
That's changed.
The other thing that's changed is Southwest was famous for what?
You guys might know this.
Fiesta seating.
Yes.
So you go in.
Yeah.
So you go in.
You usually, I think, get a higher price ticket if you want to like choose early, but all the seats.
Yeah.
But it was a bramble scrap.
Yeah.
A1 through 15, you could purchase.
And I think there was also this interesting system where like it was actually faster to onboard people.
No, absolutely not.
No, no, no.
I've heard that it was actually.
Part of the reason they changed to the new one is because it was slower.
You're so wrong on that.
Oh, I thought it was faster.
No.
Even before.
Before the A1 through 15, like now you got a boarding position, you'd line up and you have to awkwardly talk to somebody, like, what number are you?
And then get in line.
And then, but before that, there was an old way back in the day, back when I was a kid, whoever got first, they would just shout A and a light would come on and everybody would rush A, B, C.
But now they're doing assigned seating.
So they're doing assigned seating.
They're now doing fully assigned seating.
And what's really interesting is we got like, you know, we were like Economy Plus or whatever it's called, like we're, you know, number three, seat number three.
We get to the front of the line, and they're like, Oh, first, you know, we're doing the veterans and people that need, people that have like special needs.
Special time, people with children.
People with children.
Okay, fine.
And then they go, All right, it's time for priority seating for our special access.
Like, what was it?
Marsh, do you remember?
It was like always special access members and half of the flight.
And we're in the front because we're like, Oh, it's priority seating time, whatever.
It's like our time now.
We walk up, bleep, you're not allowed in yet.
And I was like, What?
Okay, why?
And they're like, Well, this is like the always special access members.
And I look back and it's like the entire flight.
And I didn't realize that, like, people that fly Southwest, they all, and this was a new thing.
And I was like, what is this Always Special Access, whatever it's called?
Like, Always Special Club?
Is that what it was?
Always Special?
Southwest Priority Corps?
No, no, no, no.
There's a different name for it.
Double Super Special.
It might literally be so new that they might not have updated their fucking name.
Now, boarding everybody but Hassan Piker.
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
It was A-list preferred.
Platinum extravaganza.
Yes, it was A-list preferred.
And I'm like, okay, so what's A-list preferred?
And the lady goes, I don't know.
It's new.
And I was like, okay.
I look back, half of the flight is A list preferred.
Yeah.
So we just, you know, do the embarrassing thing and we walk past everybody.
Salk back.
There's already like fans.
Like someone who's just been denied at LSI.
Oh, yeah.
I'm telling you, misboarding is one of the most humiliating experiences.
And there's, there's, there's also fans that are always special boarding access, whatever.
Yeah.
Right.
In the special club.
So they're like looking at me like, ha, this fucking idiot.
Anyway, the reason why I told you all the, this, This story is because, well, one, I'm always terrified now that, like, anytime I get on a flight, there's going to be some psycho stalker that takes a photo of me.
Speaking of which, if I'm with you, it never will happen.
Okay.
We're not going to travel together.
So it's fine.
All right.
Well, it would never happen.
I'm always, I'm always awake, one eye open constantly.
I was watching you sleep when we went to China.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
You didn't really fit in the bed.
But the other.
Don't worry about someone else taking photos of you sleeping.
Austin's got it covered.
Yeah.
Don't worry.
But the other reason why I'm bringing this up is because.
Every single airline carrier, every single low cost carrier, they're all consolidating and they're all engaging what is known as price leadership, where they're slowly but surely eroding what made them special or different.
Yes.
And now it's all turning into fucking Delta.
Yep.
Yep.
Well, Delta is a quality airline.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it is the best of the three, unfortunately.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I have such brand loyalty too because my mom was a flight director.
Yeah.
I mean, Delta is objectively the best United States.
Well, actually, I'll be honest with you.
I think as a product, Alaska is starting to really, really push the envelope.
And they're starting to.
And they're trying to merge Hawaii.
I think they already did.
It got approved.
Bro, what are you reading the trades?
Why are you so on it?
No, it's Alaska, Hawaii.
Okay, so I fly every week.
To dial back, you should lead the charge on buying Spirit Airlines.
You should, if you want to run for office.
Can I run for CEO of Spirit Airlines?
Well, that's.
If you help organize.
I don't know how I'd manage my schedule.
You help organize.
So busy.
It becomes the airline of the people.
Yeah.
That's your platform to run on.
I'm the guy who socialized Spirit.
I would come in.
And just big dick the entire industry.
Okay.
I would talk so much shit to the airlines.
I'd be like, bags are free now.
Fuck you, everybody else.
I think, like, you still, well, I guess if you're not beholden to.
Yeah.
If you're not beholden to.
Bags are free now.
Our margins don't.
Who?
Hedge funds are what?
What shareholders?
We are the people we decide.
That's the people.
We the people, airlines.
That's true.
And you get, like, you can give them special privileges, like cheaper tickets.
Yeah.
Would you go crazy with, like, hour long flights?
Everybody's standing and just holding, like, a beam.
Public.
Free time.
Like, public transportation.
Yeah.
No, I wouldn't do that.
I mean, look, I mean, I would.
What are some things that you would change about the way that the airliner industry currently operates?
I'll tell you.
When I purchase a ticket, no hidden fees.
Wow.
Fuck that.
No hidden fees.
If I purchase an economy class ticket, there is not a preferred seat in economy class.
It's fucking a.
It's economy class.
There is no such thing as a preferred seat.
If I pay $200 for my ticket, I should get a seat.
I should get the opportunity to choose a seat.
What the fuck is basic economy?
Even if you book basic economy, you can't choose a seat.
Now it's gotten to a point where you charge me $60 to have a seat that is humane.
Yes.
It's a humane seat.
Yes.
Right now, I don't have to pay these fees because I have status with mostly every airline.
But.
That doesn't mean that I wouldn't sit there.
So I ban hidden fees like that to pay for preferred seating.
I also just want an airline to be honest with me.
Yes.
So they're like, you know, the whole like, in case of an emergency, airwolf at the beginning of the flight, don't worry about it.
If we crash, it's over.
Yeah.
I think that's an FAA restriction.
Yeah, but fuck that.
Who cares about that?
We don't even have traffic controllers anymore.
These fucking planes are like, should we land the guy on the ground?
It's like, I don't know.
There's like two of us working 13 hour shifts to fucking steward out.
You want the air stewardess to be like, If we crash, we're all gonna die.
You want to hear something crazy?
Socialized airline flights under two hours, no airline stewardess.
Just send it.
What I mean, one guy with a gun that's all he fucking throws peanuts at you.
They used to be that used to be the case, and there's just a water peanut in the back.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll tell you, can I tell you something so ridiculous in the system?
Can I okay, put the drinkable water in their water tank, potables, what they actually call it?
I mean, can you we can get the cost of flying.
I'm telling you, you strip it to the nuts.
Can I tell you something real quick?
You're doing the thing that led to these low cost carriers becoming low cost carriers by eradicating certain amenities.
I thought that was a good idea.
Yeah, but they were trying to make money.
We're just trying to sustain.
We're stripping this to the nuts so John Q Average can get on a plane, spend 25 bucks to fly to TJ.
You're literally describing Spirit and also all the low cost carriers in the industry.
But they didn't strip it to the nuts.
I turned it into a nonprofit.
Oh.
So it'd be just a break even airline.
Okay.
It'd be an airline that just for the people, just breaking even to just basically put everybody else out of business.
Now, to save money, I would fly into some Draco.
The Delta CEO whose email you have would kill you, he would assassinate you.
Okay.
Can I tell you something ridiculous about airlines these days?
Yeah.
Do you remember how I talk about that preferred seating?
Yeah.
They charge you for an exit row seat.
Preferred Seats And Break Even Airline00:04:42
That is a preferred seat, dude.
I know it is an exit row seat.
When I was younger, they that was free, like, there was no additional cost for it.
And I would always be like, Hey, I'm so tall, like, and they would always be like, Of course, we'll put you in there.
I do love the idea that just because you're tall, you have to accept the responsibility of potentially saving every life.
I know, I mean, that's fine.
Oh, you want some leg room?
How do you feel about operating an emergency?
Remember what you said earlier?
We are all gonna die anyway, but but.
But you are in a position where you're paying to be the hero in an emergency.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But okay.
Here's a counter.
Okay.
What if there was a seat where they looked at whether or not you had FAA logable hours and they decided this is the pilot seat and you have to pay extra in the event of an emergency, you get one shot at landing the ground?
Yeah.
You would do it.
Well, I'm always in the pre.
Here's another idea.
Seats, anyway.
Defunct vehicles in the United States.
Yeah, right?
We're all constantly wrecking vehicles.
Let's rip those chairs out, put them in the plane.
They're way more comfortable than you're right.
You're right.
I don't understand how we are in the year of our Lord 2026, and airline flights still feel like you are sitting on a glass.
Because there is like the most autistic mathematician and the most autistic engineer got together and ensured down to the inches that they are drawing out as many profits as possible off of that.
I just do not understand how, like, I'm always in a seat and, like, somehow I'm being pushed forward and my arms are like here.
Wait, and my ass feels like it's on a countertop.
We'd have to have a consistent seat because it's weight and balance.
You can't have inconsistency.
We could use all Toyota Prius seats.
It's weight and balance, but it's also.
Like they have, like, airline seats have gotten worse over the years because there's just more seats.
Because they're finding sure, yeah, they're finding more innovative ways to.
Now, I will say, I am in, I am proud of Delta because they're adding memory foam cushions to their new A350 1000s, which is on every seat.
You know what else I would sign up for?
What the fucking luggage on the top, yeah, gone.
Oh, now those are beds.
Oh, like train stop beds.
Oh, where you know, there are like some trains where you see from like old timey movies, like.
A dirty child would come out from behind the curtain because he could only like lay, yeah.
I'm, yes, I don't think they're big enough for human beings.
Well, then, yeah, yes, if you can, and then it also greatly increases the weight.
No, oh, yeah, the beds, yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, the bins should probably weigh the same as the beds, yes, you know.
I don't know, you think a human being weighs the same.
Well, the human beings on the plane, anyway, yeah, human beings on the plane.
Oh, so you're saying it's like not they're not adding extra, no, no, no, you only have a bed seat, you have a you have the capacity to lay in it, like, yes, yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
And we remove those seats from the middle.
There's no more middle seats.
Okay.
Yeah.
See, middle seats do suck.
Middle seats suck ass.
I would rather lay flat the entire time, never stand up once.
I can't believe I'm defending airline CEOs.
I feel like the current way is better than what you're suggesting.
What you're suggesting is like the New Delhi chair.
Okay.
Well, okay.
It's complete bedroom.
Here's another thing.
It's madness.
Here's how we make back our margins.
Yeah.
We put the people on top of the plate.
No, this is how we make back our margins.
We sell porn.
That's what I'm talking about.
I was going to take it a step further.
And we hire.
You're already doing it.
You're already.
You're farting and cranking it.
No, I'm not.
I think we should hire prostitutes.
You just said that it's not illegal in the bathroom.
If you were to masturbate, the bathroom is not.
I think we should legalize prostitutions and put them on the plane.
What is happening?
I think you should.
I think we should put glory holes in the toilets.
You should also be able to do drugs on the plane.
Slot the sheets on the back of the seat.
Okay, we've ruined the air.
I'm sorry.
Spirit Airlines, we're sorry.
We've gone too far.
I will say, the slot machines would be profitable as hell.
Yeah.
God damn.
It's a damn thing.
They just get out of us and my plane.
There's a guy fucking tying off in the front of us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I actually can't.
I actually can't.
Yeah, you lobby the government to say if you're in the air, technically it's no holds barred.
We gave them too much freedom.
Instead of a floatable cushion, it's just Narcan.
Yeah.
I actually told my Barbara, I said, you should open up an IV thing where you're giving haircuts and strap an IV to somebody, give them a little, you know, it's a good business.
Cash App Green Status Program00:02:02
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I just knew it.
I've too much time.
I do like the slot machine idea.
I will tell you.
But you got to be over the age of 18.
Okay.
Oh, not even 21.
Yeah.
Oh, 21.
You're like, you're like, I'm fine.
Get in the sky.
It's cool.
Yeah.
Sponsored by kick.com.
Yeah.
We'll give it, I think we do 100 bucks for free to start, you know?
Yeah.
Everybody gets 100 bucks.
Them, you give the people money so they get them hooked.
Yeah, of course, they got to get their first win.
Yeah, and it's like, it's like you can buy, we would immediately become the most profitable.
Oh my God, don't give them an idea.
They're going to start kick air.
Oh no.
When you're in the air, there's no rules, baby.
That's true.
They'll just fly over international waters.
That's right.
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Gambling Against Himself In Russia00:14:59
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
All right.
What topics did you guys bring?
Well, there was, well, that was a Spirit one that was Mike.
Well, this kind of is a tangential conversation that we were talking about.
But run the clip, March.
I sent it to your phone.
But the head of Polymarket, the Polymarket's chief marketing officer, was having a conversation with Clavicular in a nightclub, not realizing that they were Mike.
Let's take a look at what he had to say.
Oh, wow.
Hey, I.
No, I think it's just a filter.
Yeah, the conversation actually starts with him asking, What's your position?
Like, because he's asking him about a specific bet.
Yeah, which March forgot to play, but it's okay.
Oh my gosh.
It's okay, March.
But yeah, so that's like he was asking him about a specific bet.
What was the bet?
We don't know, but.
He was asking about a specific bet, and he's about to reveal insider information, most likely.
Or at least that's the speculation, which was shocking to me.
Really?
Yeah, shocking.
I can't believe there's insider trading going on at Polymark.
I'm shocked, shocked to find out there is gambling going on in this institution.
Yeah, well, you're winning, sir.
It was unbelievably shocking.
I thought the integrity was sound, and I thought that that's the reason why they had hired Donald Trump Jr. to sit on the board of both CalSheet.
And Poly Market, and I believe even Predicted as well, if I'm not mistaken.
I might be wrong on that.
Who also happens to be on the regulatory side of things as well.
So, what do we think about how everything is gambling now, especially considering?
Well, I don't know if you guys know, but there's actually like a landmark case going on right now in college football where one of the most sought after quarterbacks in the country got caught gambling on his own games previously.
Pete Rose.
And Pete Rose, no, he wasn't gambling.
Okay, to be fair, wasn't gambling against himself.
That's literally what Trump said the other day about.
Wasn't gambling against himself.
No, he didn't.
Trump was caught.
Trump was asked about a Marine that was on the Venezuela mission who dumped 33 grand onto like when Maduro would be deposed and won $400,000.
And then Trump was asked about it and he's like, well, everything's gambling now.
And then he went, just like Pete Rose, he was gambling, but for his own team.
If he was gambling against himself, that would be a problem.
That's what he said.
But wait, did he bet that he would win?
You bet that his team would win when he was on like the road team.
It's very complicated.
Anyway, He is in limbo with the NCAA right now and he's in rehab for gambling.
But it's super interesting because he might lose his college eligibility, which then would put him in a supplemental draft, which is a whole thing.
But it's kind of the first instance of like now we're seeing college athletes with this big influx of NIL money potentially being all addicted to gambling as well, which is a huge problem for the NCAA.
Shouts out to Aiden Ross.
Let me make this very clear to those that are watching you're going to lose.
You're going to lose.
You're not going to win.
The odds are against you.
And I want to let you know that you're not going to be the guy to get rich.
And even if you do get rich, you're going to lose it.
You're going to lose it all.
So don't gamble.
Don't gamble.
We don't gamble.
None of us gamble.
I gamble.
Okay.
I gamble.
Yeah.
Marsh was gambling in St. Louis.
But there.
He got my girlfriend addicted.
I don't gamble because I lose every time and I learned.
You have made a plea.
To the Vegas bosses on this show.
To let you win.
To let you win so you can be hooked on gambling a little bit.
Well, I mean, I thought, you know, in order to get me in a little bit, right, just like your free gift, you gotta give me a little bit of a win.
You know what I mean?
This is precisely the reason why I think you would be a fucking tyrant.
If he was in charge, can you imagine?
He's the president of America, he's the tyrant dictator of the United States of America.
He goes to Vegas and he's like, every time it's red.
He puts it on red every time.
You gotta let me win.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is great.
You are like how we perceive Kim Jong un to be.
Straight up.
What?
Like golfing, golfing perfect.
You know, it's all.
No, I'm a man.
Born under a double rainbow.
The truth.
The truth.
Yeah, but everything is gambling.
I hate it.
Yeah, I think we should limit gambling to Vegas again.
I think you should have to go fly to a place where you immediately feel shame already.
Yes.
And your degeneracy should be limited.
To a time and yes, we should also make the Teamsters mob affiliated once more.
Oh, okay.
And we should also give Vegas back to the mob.
Oh, uh, if it's not already in the hands of the mob, I don't, I haven't been following.
Okay.
But the reason why I say this is because I, for the first time ever watched Casino and it's so good.
Yeah.
It's such a wonderful movie, dude.
That scene out in the cornfield is tough.
Yeah.
Oh, oh my God.
It's a hard watch, but, uh, but the rest of it is fantastic.
And the reason why I'm saying this is because.
I want to dress like Robert De Niro in casino.
His suits are immaculate.
Well, we're going shopping after this.
We're going to go shopping after this.
Especially if you have features on the Patreon.
I need more adult clothes.
Austin can't come with us because he has to fly because he has a dick appointment back home.
This is true.
It's true.
It's true.
Hold on.
You leaked it beforehand.
Hold on.
My house sitter happens to have a penis.
He's going to fuck you?
No, he's not going to fuck you.
You're going to fuck your house sitter?
No, no.
He's my cat sitter.
Okay.
And he was actually my cat sitter.
You're going to fuck your house sitter.
Yes, yes, no, he is.
It's a guest.
Hold on now, let's be very clear.
Thanks for watching my cat now.
It's time for your reward.
Time for you to suck on me.
Let me be very clear before.
Let me be very clear.
He just is somebody that I had talked.
Yes, but then he became my cat sitter afterwards.
He was so good at receiving my cock and balls that I put him in charge of my cat.
He puts these twinks to work, bro.
He does.
No, I told him, I said, I'll pay for your gas.
Hey, man, $7 a gallon.
That's a serious commitment.
Spirit Airlines gets out of business because jet fuel is too expensive, but at least Austin's running a much better business now.
Our airline, the communal-owned airline, how about nuclear planes?
What do you mean?
Like, what, like they double his nuclear weapons?
Oh, just nuclear power them with plutonium.
I thought you were saying that they were like nuclear.
So, when the plane falls, inevitably with no ATC, it's Hiroshima, Nagasaki every time.
Nuclear.
You know, I'm starting to learn about capitalism every week.
I learn something new.
We actually, capitalism is stifling innovation because there's so many innovations that we could have.
You're just not telling me.
But they're not profitable innovations.
And because they're not profitable, we don't even go down the road.
One of the most.
The rotary piston engine.
Yeah.
Buried.
Yeah.
The Concorde.
Well, the Concords were crashing quite a bit.
No, a couple of times, but we could have fixed it.
It was also very loud.
Yeah.
Oh, come on.
Yeah.
Come on.
No, we agree with you.
Just not the greatest example.
Concorde was a great invention that we had to can.
You know, that's why we don't have electric airplanes, right?
Because it's too expensive.
Yeah.
No, I mean, it's the same with renewable energy, same with many, many other industries.
Like, if it wasn't for China, we would not have.
As much renewable energy as you can.
I got some for you guys.
Yeah, hit me.
You guys came flat without topics.
No, I'm not flat.
I have a talk.
I got a life changing experience from last night.
I'm ready.
I went out drinking with friends and kin.
We had a new member in the group.
Okay.
A Russian man.
Okay.
Who had gone to a concert and traded his tchanka for a cowboy hat.
Yeah.
Does he also put stuff on his penis?
What the fuck?
You've talked about this before.
No, that guy's German.
No, he's German.
Oh, my goodness.
Very different, and it's not on, it's in.
So, the Russian guy doesn't put stuff in the not that I know of.
Have you asked him?
But okay, so there is a likelihood that he might be a Russian guy who puts stuff into this guy.
Came to our country with 200 bucks in his pocket, he made it work.
I love it.
He's got an American wife, yes, an American wife.
He's he was telling us stories about how he would buy geocaches in Russia and have to go dig under trees.
Good god, and it was pot.
That's how he would buy pot.
Oh my god, but.
He was telling us that next week he might get deported back to Russia.
No.
Yeah.
After four years.
You're blowing up his spot because, like, Putin watches.
You know what I mean?
He's going to know that this guy was doing drug deals in Russia.
I mean, he's not going to know.
He's not going to be like, oh, yes, that is Dravadovich.
Yeah.
No.
Why'd you leak his name?
Dravadovich.
What are the chances?
Is that offensive?
He was giving us a speech last night about the evils of capitalism, about how it's never an even playing field and how the rich throw you down.
Yeah.
They'll always.
I felt inspired.
Yeah.
You're gonna go to Russia with two now?
Hell no, he was telling us how horrible Russia is.
He's like, Someone's like, Why don't you band together against Vladimir Putin?
He goes, Oh no, you don't understand.
Vladimir Putin group band together, kill all.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They don't like also Russia's not a socialist country, they don't like gay people there.
I heard no, yeah, uh, yeah.
I think I think they're they're very anti woke.
That's why the Republicans love the Russia, yeah, I know, but this, yeah, this Russian man in his cowboy hat, he got.
He got me feeling uplifted.
We need the American dream back.
I've also heard this is like unbelievable corruption in the police force there, too, where they're like, I've talked to Russian people about like potentially even going to Russia or the experiences that they've had in Russia.
And they're like, yeah, cops are just like, fuck with you.
They don't give a shit if you're American or not.
Like, you don't, because normally we get like a level of, a layer of protection wherever we go, being an American citizen in Russia.
That doesn't really exist.
I was, since we've last seen each other, I was the best man in a wedding.
Wow.
Wow.
Oh, so you do attend weddings?
Straight wedding, gay wedding?
Straight wedding.
Wow.
I was the best man in the world.
You gave a speech?
I did.
How'd it go?
It went fantastic.
And the wedding was in Tennessee.
Okay.
And it's.
Did you butch it up a little bit?
No.
I talked about being gay in front of a very conservative audience.
So hold on.
Plus, That wasn't during the best man speech.
It was.
You made it about yourself.
No, you made the best man speech about it.
You went to.
I want to talk about Jared when I first came out of the closet.
No, no, no, no.
I talked about.
Because in a best man speech, you're supposed to talk about you and the groom's relationship.
Right.
And so, and then part of that.
So you voted him as an ally?
No, no, no.
When I was fucking and talking to Jared, I never thought he'd marry a woman.
No.
I know the grandfather's here.
You got a nice dick, too.
I assume Jared is backing.
No, no, no.
I told him, I talked about how we were so close that when I came out, people thought that he was my boyfriend.
Right.
And so, and anyway.
Was it?
Did the crowd appreciate they laughed?
And then I cleared it up by saying, Oh, if you don't believe me, my boyfriend's right over there, and the man I was dating at the time is right over there because my ex boyfriend was also in the crowd.
Um, and uh, anyway, so I uh, I did the speech, and evidently, you know, people came up to me and said, Hey, build it best speech I've ever heard.
Wow, at a wedding, do you do that professionally?
I said, You know, yeah, anyway, I'm awesome too.
Yeah, so anyway, we're doing a tour.
They said, I want to go, yeah, done it.
They're like, Man, I've seen a lot of weddings, that was the best speech I've ever heard.
So, anyway, but evidently some of the older conservative people there didn't like the gay.
No, they thought that the best man, or excuse me, the groom was gay after the speech because they thought that he was gay and was healed and like came back.
Oh, so they.
So was that a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't know.
They were Catholic.
It was a Catholic wedding.
I made a few Catholic jokes, which is good.
What kind of Catholic jokes?
Like I said that because I was there the night that they.
Tonight, they're going to consummate the marriage like the Pope does with little kids.
All right.
I'm off the show.
You know what I'm talking about.
They're fucking kids.
You look like a pedophile.
No, no, that's not what I said.
I said that they waited till, like, I talked about the story when they first met and they made out, and my best friend and I were sharing a room together.
And I said, You know, I said, You're not coming back to my room, right?
That's, yeah, I'm happy for you, but you're not coming back to my room, our room, because we shared a room.
And I said, So they went to her room, and then I let the, and I said, We all know what happened.
And then the crowd started to, there was silence in the crowd.
And then I said they waited till marriage like two good Catholics.
And then, you know, everybody laughed.
They thought that was good.
But they fucked, all right?
No, they actually didn't fuck the first time.
Oh, they fucked.
Yeah, many times.
Oh, my God.
Are you kidding me?
They fucked a lot, too much, in my opinion.
But it was great.
But the wedding was in a Catholic church.
Oh, yeah.
My God.
Oh, that's sick.
Hour and a half long.
Catholic weddings are long.
Did they do Corinthians?
Wait.
Yes.
Did you talk about Trump and the Pope?
No.
It was an incredible opportunity.
But I did meet one of the family members and I was like, I really like your Pope.
I think he's a great guy.
I was trying to make, I said, he's really good.
I like him.
You're trying to make smallpox?
I really like your post.
Yeah, and it backfired because he's like, yeah, I liked him too, till he started talking about Iran.
Oh.
Oh my God.
American Catholics just fucking convert already.
Yeah.
It's disgusting.
Yeah.
That is the word of God.
Yeah.
Okay.
I know.
I get so mad about this shit because the last two popes have been Catholic.
The last two popes have been Catholic.
Of course.
All the popes have been Catholic, allegedly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But they've been woke.
Yeah.
And you're not supposed to question the will of God.
I know.
Okay.
Democratic Church of America.
That is fucking heresy.
I cannot believe it.
What are you, Martin Luther?
What the fuck is this bullshit?
Like, oh, I don't like this pope.
Questioning The Will Of God00:11:58
Switch it out.
You don't get the fuck to switch out the pope, bitch.
That's God.
Yeah, it is God.
That's what I was thinking the whole time.
Yeah.
As I was sitting there.
You have to be woke now.
Like, I'm annoyed.
I'm annoyed with American Catholics and their audacity.
Yeah.
Their heretical audacity is unfucking bearable.
Who do you think you are?
A fucking Protestant?
Yeah.
All right, take it down, Muslim.
Sorry.
No, you don't get to have, you know, two woke popes back to back and then, you know, these guys are still.
Pissing and shit.
I was sitting there in church and I was, you know, going there.
Peace be with you and also with you.
Yeah.
With your spirit, actually.
And with your spirit?
Yeah.
I went in.
I got blessed by the Father and everything.
You're a Catholic?
No, I'm not.
I didn't take communion.
I thought about it.
I was like, well, maybe what if I just tasted the rainbow, though?
Like, you're like, that is not what that is.
I just mean, like, what?
You're amazing if the priest was at the front and he came up and he went, taste the fucking rainbow.
Yeah.
No, I don't even mean like the little bread that Jesus Christ is.
Body.
The little bro.
It's a wafer.
It's a wafer.
Yeah, it's a wafer.
It's supposed to be Jesus' body.
Why are we eating him?
I don't understand.
You're eating Jesus' meat.
I don't understand.
But that's not what I'm talking about.
You have Mormon family members.
You have Catholic family members.
You have Christian family members.
And you literally claim all three.
No, no, I don't claim Mormon.
Choose a fucking lane.
I think I would.
Choose a lane right now.
Catholic to me is the coolest one.
So I'd choose Catholic.
Catholic is the coolest one.
I mean, it looks kind of chill.
Their churches are really nice.
Definitely not.
I will say.
No, no, I agree with that.
I think Catholic is the most metal one.
Yeah.
Dude.
Are you kidding me?
How bougie the Catholic Church is?
Are you kidding me with the paintings?
Yeah, but you guys forget about eternal damnation.
Yeah, they all have that.
Well, you can pay for it.
Yeah, but no, Catholics one is way too expensive.
You can just go to confession.
No, that's not how that works.
Well, I don't know why they got it then.
No, dude.
When's the last time you did confession?
I'd never been to confession.
That means if you died today, you would have eternal damnation.
Really?
Yes.
Yeah, that's why you got to go to the church all the time, but it's fine.
He's unwashed in the blood of Christ.
Eternal damnation.
Okay, okay, listen, listen, listen.
I got a question.
I got a question.
That's metal.
There's stakes.
There's stakes up in this bitch.
I was looking at Jesus in the church.
I like it.
I was looking at Jesus in the church and I was, he was like this, on the cross, completely shredded, right?
Bleeding.
Very, like, I was like, yes.
That's what I liked about Catholicism.
I was like, Catholicism does.
Why is Jesus bleeding?
Because he got stabbed in the stomach by the Romans.
No, in the chest.
Oh, in the abdomen.
Right here.
Yeah.
He ripped.
Yeah.
And he's up there, right?
And I'm like, you know.
By the way, according to the old Catholics, by, you know, I'm not going to say which religion, but they also, but Kaya West moment.
But literally, they used to be like, the church was just like openly anti Semitic.
And then they had to do patch notes to be like, no, the Jews are fine, actually.
They didn't kill Christ.
They always do patch notes for religion.
But I looked at Jesus and I said, Jesus, he suffered so much for us.
I think he suffered.
I thought, you know, I think.
I think he wants us to have a good time.
I think he suffered.
Why would he die for our sins if we couldn't just let it loose a little bit?
You know what I mean?
Let it play out.
Why are we living such a life of guilt?
I think I'm going to start a new church.
And it's going to be, Jesus just wanted us to have fun.
Going back to my argument that you should not have any power.
Christ our Lord wanted us to have fun.
He died for our sins so you didn't have to worry about it.
Dog, you're describing like a new branch that you're developing.
It's just.
Either Mormonism or no, I'm not gonna be that crazy.
I talked to a Mormon yesterday, they said that Jesus discovered America.
That's fucking nuts, you know.
Yeah, they basically said that he uh put a you know new testament in New York.
The reason why I say Catholics are metal is because, like, you know, I've been to Italy, I've visited the churches and stuff.
Yes, I didn't know this.
They have like in Islam, we have uh, I think we have like the beard of the prophet, we have the the the veil, Catholicism, but in Catholicism, you have bones, it's like the Apple music of religion, they have really good branding.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They have like their churches are fucking dope.
Yeah.
Yes.
And on top of that, they got like pieces of like the saints and stuff.
Like, and I mean like literal bones.
Have you seen this thing where it's like the jaw of like St. Paul or something?
Yeah.
They have, they have, they, they, I think it's called a reliquary, right?
Yeah.
They kept him.
My dad has a reliquary.
There's a body.
What?
How's that possible?
He's got a necklace with hair from one of the saints.
Bro, that's what I mean.
It's like, well, first of all, a lot of that's fake, by the way.
Okay.
You're just going to immediately.
I mean, a lot of this stuff is fake.
They have the book.
My dad was probably alive when the saint was still around.
He's like 100 years old.
It's still very cool.
It's super metal.
It's very Dark Souls.
I love this shit.
I think this is what religion is about.
It's about Dark Souls.
Yeah, you're supposed to have fucking cool artifacts and shit.
And the pageantry.
That's why I like the papacy, because you got to wear dresses and you got to wear all the.
And you know what I love about the Catholic Church?
No matter how much they condemned homosexuality, some of their most cherished.
Well, yes.
Well, their most cherished artifacts, one of which, a lot of them were painted by Michelangelo.
Right.
Which was.
We've talked about this many times.
Yes.
No, one time.
It was a few years ago.
I'm just rerunning it because somebody wrote it.
He's going to be unbearable when he does his gay Cation Holocaust trip.
My gay Cation Holocaust trip?
I mean, that's what it is.
No, it's not.
You are literally going to a death camp.
Well.
In between.
Numerous pride parades.
I just two in pride parades.
Yeah, yeah.
You are Oreo sandwiching the pride parade, Holocaust pride parade.
It's a gay Kation Holocaust edition.
I think it's good to, I think it's, I think it's important.
Expand your boundaries.
I'm a student of history.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Next year he's working on a trip.
He's going to go Disney, get Mo Disney.
Yeah.
Guantanamo Bay.
Yeah.
I don't know if I can get there.
Joke.
That's the boundary.
The barrier is the logistics.
Yeah.
They have a McDonald's there, right?
They do have a McDonald's there.
You are correct.
Which I don't eat, by the way, because it's BDS.
Yeah, that's the problem with the fucking McDonald's at Guantanamo Bay.
I was really enjoying Guantanamo Bay until I saw there was a McDonald's and I felt awful about that.
Yeah, yeah, no.
Not the fucking mass torture taking place, you know, 100 feet away.
Oh my God, they're doing that, aren't they?
I'm not doing that.
Yeah, that's why it's on Cuban soil.
Well, that's what I do as president cut it.
That's what Barack Obama said.
Well, he did not cut it.
I don't know what he found out.
Well, you were saying about Michelangelo.
Oh, yeah, Michelangelo, very gay.
And he painted a lot of stuff for the church, and it's beautiful, and they hold it in the highest regard.
Yeah, because they don't acknowledge that he's gay.
Yeah, but all of the women that he drew were oddly boyish, oddly muscular.
Well, that, which I'm not saying women can't be muscular, but he didn't know what a woman.
Well, God, this is really problematic.
He didn't know what a woman looked like.
Well, first of all, women can be muscular.
I just want to be very clear about that.
And I love muscular women.
I think you should, if you want to pursue.
If you want to pursue.
In fact, yeah, women can be.
Shit.
Do you want me to be out here?
Yeah.
Hey, muscular women are.
Gorgeous too, but Michelangelo was trying to incept a little masculinity into his depictions.
Right.
Which is because he was gay.
Right?
And he didn't know what a woman looked like.
Because you're like, you're literally saying that if you're into muscular women, you're gay.
No.
No.
You're implying that Michelangelo is a gay man because he liked muscular women.
I am not implying that at all.
I don't think he didn't like muscular women, he just didn't know what a woman looked like.
Are you scrolling down?
Are you fucking out of your mind, Mauricio Miranda?
What?
No.
What were you looking at?
Yeah, share with the class.
What were you looking at?
No.
Share with the class.
No.
Share with the class.
What were you looking at?
Pull your phone open.
Will, I have a confession to make.
Keep going.
Oh my God.
He won't show us.
He won't show us what he was looking at.
Do you like my sweatshirt?
Yeah.
Yes.
It's Christians.
It's mine?
Is it mine?
Did you steal it from me?
No, we were at your house and we stayed there and I stole the sweatshirt from you.
I don't even remember owning it.
You're a bad person.
It was in a bag.
You're old and fresh.
And Christian, I said, we'll take it back.
We'll give it back.
So on my way out, I'm going to, after this trip, because I need something to wear to the airport.
You took unworn clothing.
I probably bought this for myself and I never even got a chance to put it on my body.
How long ago was that?
Two months ago.
But, Will, I want to be very clear.
Be clear.
I'm bringing it back to you.
It's still on your person.
You're a bad person.
It's still on.
You're mischievous.
You're mischievous.
Hey, next time we go to a game, I'm buying you a sweatshirt and I'm giving you this one back.
That's also like a special edition Los Angeles Dodgers exclusive.
Murakami.
Here, I'll take it off on the way out.
I'll take it off on the way out.
I don't think that we should steal, but anyway.
You're covered in stolen items.
I am not covered in stolen items.
You're absolutely dripping in stolen shit.
I'm not, I'm trying to think of anything else that I stole.
I didn't, I, no, all good.
Ladies and gentlemen, we so appreciate you watching us on the Fear and Podcast.
And we're going to continue this conversation on our Patreon.
Yeah, we're going to find out what Mauricio Miranda was looking at on his phone.
Oh, yeah.
Patreon.com slash fear.
And everybody for the international working class, you already know it's $5 a month.
And you get to watch the bonus episode.
That's right.
That's right.
And we have merch out.
Go buy it.
Beerand.com.
And tour dates are coming soon.
Peace.
The podcast will be over.
We've given up.
No, it won't be.
We're never going to quit.
We're going to do this forever for sure, but you're never coming.
No.
Hell no.
Come on.
Can we give it at least a couple more years?
Are you not liking the podcast anymore?
I don't care.
I love the podcast.
I like to hang out with you guys.
I think it's fun.
I mean, I'm getting close to it.
A voice actor and a DD player full time.
It's two hours!
It's two hours, Will!
Two hours!
It's two hours!
What happened?
You can't do two hours?
I missed their scrolling on TikTok on my phone while the podcast is going on.
Brother, the podcast is kind of enormously stressful.
Two hours?
We switched the time four times before I woke up this morning.
And every time my phone was going.
And I'd answer it and they'd be like, Are you okay with eight?
And I'd be like, Okay.
How about four?
Yeah, sure.
It's two.
I spent $1,700 on flights this weekend.
Because I kept having to change my bookings.
I don't feel bad for you at all about this.
You should live here.
You need to come visit me and you will understand my life and how beautiful it is.