Fear& - A Very Merry Fear& Christmas
Aired: 2025-12-22
Duration: 01:23:49


=== Ring a Lingering Ding (01:27) ===

[00:00:00]  I'm so straight that there's not a price you could put on my heterosexuality.
[00:00:05]  Ridiculous.
[00:00:06]  That's what they think.
[00:00:07]  And I remember this because at one point I was a straight man.
[00:00:11]  And we used to do this thing.
[00:00:12]  Well, all right?
[00:00:17]  Wow.
[00:00:18]  Wow.
[00:00:18]  But that's not how it works, Austin.
[00:00:36]  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Fear Ann podcast.
[00:00:41]  Only this time, we are celebrating one of our favorite holidays, Christmas.
[00:00:47]  It's the Christmas episode.
[00:00:48]  That's right.
[00:00:49]  I know today is the 22nd of December.
[00:00:52]  For those of you who are just tuned in, but this is our Christmas episode because next week will be the 27th and we miss Christmas and we could never do that.
[00:01:00]  That's where we celebrate with you.
[00:01:01]  Just hear those sleigh bells ringing, ding, ding, ding, linger.
[00:01:05]  Ring a linga ding and ding dung ding.
[00:01:08]  I think it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you.
[00:01:11]  Ring a lingering ding dung ding.
[00:01:13]  Ring a lingering ding dung ding.
[00:01:16]  Ring a lingering dung ding.
[00:01:18]  Ring a lingering lingering dung ding.
[00:01:22]  You look like the uncle at Christmas who just got left by his wife.

=== Christmas Sleigh Bells Jingle (14:53) ===

[00:01:27]  That's how I feel.
[00:01:28]  Uncle Danny needs a lot of support.
[00:01:30]  Yes.
[00:01:31]  So Uncle Danny's going through a lot.
[00:01:33]  Yes.
[00:01:34]  Well, Hassan is starting off the podcast.
[00:01:37]  Cheese in your beard.
[00:01:39]  Hold on, Hassan.
[00:01:40]  Let's get a little holiday cheer.
[00:01:43]  Can't we?
[00:01:43]  Can't we do it?
[00:01:44]  Let's hear those sleigh bells ringing.
[00:01:47]  Ding, ding, ding, ding.
[00:01:48]  We can't start a podcast like this.
[00:01:50]  My God, can you please stop shoving your face full of food for just one moment?
[00:01:55]  Well, get it together.
[00:01:56]  Let's get the holiday spirit going with something we all love.
[00:02:00]  Presents.
[00:02:00]  Yes.
[00:02:01]  Presents.
[00:02:02]  I love gifts.
[00:02:03]  But before we get into that, what the fuck is wrong with you?
[00:02:06]  What is going on?
[00:02:08]  Last Saturday.
[00:02:09]  Okay.
[00:02:11]  Finished chewing it.
[00:02:13]  Last Saturday, instead of going to New York to do a podcast with Trevor Noah, because I had traveled so much, so far and wide, that I decided to stay at home and push back our podcast appearance to the next year and decided I'm going to go play basketball outdoors.
[00:02:38]  This was a big mistake.
[00:02:39]  In the process of chasing someone on a fast break, try to hit him from behind like LeBron James of the block.
[00:02:47]  I ended up stepping on his foot and tweaking my ankle, my left ankle, in the most severe ankle injury that I have had in my 34-year career.
[00:02:59]  Right.
[00:03:01]  My ankle swolled up to the size of a watermelon.
[00:03:05]  You guys have seen the photos of it already all over the timeline, and I've sent it to you guys on updates.
[00:03:09]  Unfortunately, my entire foot is blue now.
[00:03:10]  Yes, amputation.
[00:03:13]  No, luckily, it wasn't a break, but it was a, or a fracture.
[00:03:18]  But it was a, do I still have cheese on my face?
[00:03:22]  No, you're good now.
[00:03:22]  Yeah, you got it somewhere here.
[00:03:24]  It wasn't.
[00:03:25]  I'm just fucking up.
[00:03:26]  It was a fairly severe injury that is rendered that has incapacitated me, rendered me useless, rendered me bedridden, in a tremendous amount of pain for like the last couple of days, and has reminded me of my age.
[00:03:42]  Reminded me of my age and my mortality.
[00:03:45]  Your mortality?
[00:03:46]  God, Jesus, you just fucking sprained your ankle.
[00:03:48]  Anyway, this is.
[00:03:49]  I battle through injuries every day.
[00:03:51]  I know, but, and so do I, but this one is fucked me up because I can't even walk.
[00:03:57]  This one's fucked me up pretty bad.
[00:03:58]  Okay, look, what's going on?
[00:04:00]  What can we do?
[00:04:02]  Do we need some?
[00:04:03]  This is the thing, though, this frustrates me because I know you're injured, but you refuse.
[00:04:07]  You refuse to allow the wonders of modern medicine to help fix your ankle.
[00:04:13]  What do you mean?
[00:04:13]  You refuse to go see doctors?
[00:04:15]  I did see a doctor.
[00:04:15]  Okay, well, you.
[00:04:16]  Well, let's get in the Holly Spirit.
[00:04:17]  No, no, hold on, no, no, hold on.
[00:04:18]  We're not done yet.
[00:04:19]  How about some medication?
[00:04:22]  I've been taking medication.
[00:04:23]  How about narcotics?
[00:04:24]  No.
[00:04:25]  Why not?
[00:04:26]  What do you mean?
[00:04:27]  They invented opioids for a reason.
[00:04:29]  No, the doctor told me.
[00:04:31]  I need to cycle, like I have been, ipoprofen and thylanol in eight-hour increments.
[00:04:38]  Okay.
[00:04:39]  Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
[00:04:43]  Okay, fine.
[00:04:43]  Let's get to the gifts.
[00:04:45]  All right.
[00:04:46]  All right.
[00:04:47]  What do we got here?
[00:04:47]  Oh, my God.
[00:04:48]  What do you think you have?
[00:04:50]  Shut the fuck up.
[00:04:52]  You shouldn't have.
[00:04:53]  I did.
[00:04:53]  No, you didn't.
[00:04:54]  Vivian Westwood.
[00:04:56]  Vivian Westwood?
[00:04:58]  I did.
[00:04:58]  No, you didn't.
[00:04:59]  I did.
[00:05:00]  No, the fuck you didn't.
[00:05:02]  Shut the fuck up.
[00:05:03]  I got you.
[00:05:03]  Well, you can see what.
[00:05:05]  No, you didn't.
[00:05:06]  Oh, my God.
[00:05:08]  Okay.
[00:05:08]  Oh, my God.
[00:05:09]  This is going to make.
[00:05:10]  This is my favorite part of Christmas, though.
[00:05:12]  I do love Christmas.
[00:05:15]  Yeah.
[00:05:16]  I got cutie and you matching ones, but she's not.
[00:05:20]  Oh, my God.
[00:05:21]  Tragically in the ER.
[00:05:22]  Oh, no.
[00:05:24]  Oh.
[00:05:25]  No.
[00:05:27]  Oh, no.
[00:05:29]  Oh, my God.
[00:05:31]  Oh, my God.
[00:05:33]  I have nothing in gold.
[00:05:35]  This is so nice.
[00:05:36]  I knew you'd want a little gold something.
[00:05:38]  Oh, my God.
[00:05:41]  Oh, my God.
[00:05:42]  Wow.
[00:05:43]  Oh, I know.
[00:05:43]  Will, you've outdone yourself.
[00:05:46]  You're welcome.
[00:05:46]  My God.
[00:05:48]  Oh, my God.
[00:05:49]  This is incredible.
[00:05:50]  Okay, that's awesome.
[00:05:52]  Yeah.
[00:05:52]  Oh, my God.
[00:05:53]  Hold on.
[00:05:53]  Let me.
[00:05:54]  And you and Cutie have matching ones.
[00:05:56]  Hers is silver.
[00:05:58]  Oh.
[00:06:01]  Hold on.
[00:06:02]  Did he forget how to put a necklace in there?
[00:06:04]  It's okay.
[00:06:04]  It's okay.
[00:06:05]  Typically, somebody does it for me.
[00:06:06]  That's true.
[00:06:07]  Let's see here.
[00:06:08]  Let me put it on.
[00:06:09]  Wow.
[00:06:09]  Look.
[00:06:13]  That goes crazy on me.
[00:06:14]  Wow.
[00:06:15]  Oh, my God.
[00:06:16]  I have no.
[00:06:18]  Merry Christmas.
[00:06:23]  And you know why I did it?
[00:06:24]  Oh, wow.
[00:06:24]  Because you're worth it.
[00:06:26]  Oh, my God.
[00:06:27]  And I'm so thankful for you.
[00:06:28]  Such a good gift.
[00:06:29]  Oh, you're just the fucking best.
[00:06:32]  I got a pretty gift as well.
[00:06:33]  I got you some gifts.
[00:06:34]  I got a gift for you.
[00:06:35]  I did.
[00:06:35]  I did.
[00:06:36]  I did get a gift for you.
[00:06:37]  I'm debating.
[00:06:38]  I did not know Mauricio was not going to be here.
[00:06:40]  Should we give Gabe Mauricio's gift?
[00:06:43]  I got Gabe a gift.
[00:06:44]  I like that.
[00:06:45]  I think we should give.
[00:06:46]  You know what, Gabe?
[00:06:48]  Gabe.
[00:06:50]  Marge.
[00:06:51]  Gabe Westwood.
[00:06:52]  Come on over.
[00:06:53]  Get yourself a little necklace here.
[00:06:56]  Marge does not deserve it.
[00:06:58]  Oh, is this Marge?
[00:06:59]  This is yours, Will.
[00:07:01]  That's your gift.
[00:07:02]  You're wrapped in everything.
[00:07:04]  Well, the Salvation Army had a wrapping station.
[00:07:07]  And I decided, you know what?
[00:07:09]  I'm going to let them wrap the gift for me.
[00:07:12]  Can I pop mine open?
[00:07:13]  You can.
[00:07:13]  Absolutely.
[00:07:14]  Just hear the Sebastian.
[00:07:19]  Oh, we're doing it one at a time.
[00:07:20]  He's not even.
[00:07:21]  Oh, that's it.
[00:07:22]  This is Christmas.
[00:07:23]  This is Christmas.
[00:07:25]  Look what I got you.
[00:07:27]  Oh, my goodness.
[00:07:28]  What is this a full sweatsuit?
[00:07:31]  Yes.
[00:07:32]  I thought you would.
[00:07:32]  Oh, my gosh.
[00:07:33]  I thought you.
[00:07:34]  Come out.
[00:07:34]  This is beautiful.
[00:07:36]  I thought it was your color.
[00:07:37]  I thought I could see you.
[00:07:38]  I know you're going on a plane trip this evening.
[00:07:42]  I thought it would be perfect for you.
[00:07:44]  Oh, this is beautiful.
[00:07:45]  When I saw it, I said, that is Wilnaff right there.
[00:07:48]  This is perfect.
[00:07:50]  Of course.
[00:07:51]  Thank you.
[00:07:51]  Thank you.
[00:07:52]  Why are you laughing at me?
[00:07:53]  I don't know.
[00:07:53]  I'm just waiting for my gift.
[00:07:54]  Oh, hold on.
[00:07:57]  Hold on.
[00:07:58]  Oh, here's Hassan's.
[00:08:01]  Oh, boy.
[00:08:02]  Look what Santa got you.
[00:08:04]  Oh, Merry Christmas.
[00:08:11]  I can't believe you got this stuff wrapped up and everything.
[00:08:14]  Like, this is the most effort you've ever put into anything.
[00:08:18]  Well, it was a beautiful thing.
[00:08:19]  I didn't know that they did rapping stations like that.
[00:08:22]  And so I just popped in real quick and gave a donation.
[00:08:25]  How much?
[00:08:27]  Be honest.
[00:08:28]  Oh, my God.
[00:08:29]  How much did you give the Salvation Army for wrapping this up?
[00:08:32]  $50.
[00:08:33]  Okay, that's...
[00:08:34]  I think that's a good...
[00:08:35]  No, I'm not.
[00:08:36]  I swear to God.
[00:08:36]  I thought $50 is a good donation, right?
[00:08:39]  I thought you were going to say five.
[00:08:40]  No, I would never do that.
[00:08:41]  I gave him five bucks.
[00:08:42]  I was trying to figure it out.
[00:08:44]  How good is this?
[00:08:47]  I thought I saw this on the shelf, and I said he has to have it.
[00:08:50]  Nordstrom.
[00:08:52]  Oh, shit.
[00:08:52]  The price tag's on it.
[00:08:54]  No, don't.
[00:08:56]  No, Louis, come on.
[00:08:58]  Oh, no, the price tag.
[00:08:59]  I didn't even look on it.
[00:09:00]  I just.
[00:09:02]  That's good.
[00:09:03]  See, I thought when I saw that, it's a triple XL.
[00:09:06]  I love it.
[00:09:07]  I'm just kidding.
[00:09:08]  It's not.
[00:09:09]  It's an extra large.
[00:09:09]  It's extra large.
[00:09:10]  I'm just kidding.
[00:09:12]  And I thought, you know, I looked at that and I was like, you know what?
[00:09:14]  I feel like that would look good with your khaki, you know, your khaki pants.
[00:09:18]  Yeah.
[00:09:18]  See what I'm saying?
[00:09:19]  London, you get what you repeat.
[00:09:22]  Oh, yeah.
[00:09:23]  By Santo Studio.
[00:09:25]  That's right.
[00:09:25]  Okay.
[00:09:25]  Thank you so much, Austin.
[00:09:26]  You're welcome.
[00:09:27]  I thought it was you.
[00:09:28]  I think you'd look good in it.
[00:09:29]  I think so too.
[00:09:30]  I'll be wearing this all the time.
[00:09:32]  Okay, thank you.
[00:09:32]  Thank you very much.
[00:09:33]  Thank you so much.
[00:09:34]  And I'm going to make a point to be like, I got that for him.
[00:09:37]  That's what I'm going to say.
[00:09:38]  Okay.
[00:09:39]  This is so beautiful.
[00:09:41]  I love it.
[00:09:42]  I love it.
[00:09:42]  I'm going to be wearing it all weekend.
[00:09:44]  All right.
[00:09:44]  All right.
[00:09:45]  You want the crazy?
[00:09:46]  Yep.
[00:09:46]  Cutie's not here.
[00:09:47]  Do you want to give this one to...
[00:09:49]  Yeah, we'll give it to her.
[00:09:50]  Christian?
[00:09:51]  No, no.
[00:09:52]  I'm matching.
[00:09:52]  No, I can't give Cutie's gift away.
[00:09:56]  Christian, I got you Christmas present.
[00:10:00]  Christian!
[00:10:01]  That's crazy.
[00:10:02]  She'll never know.
[00:10:03]  She'll never watch this.
[00:10:04]  No!
[00:10:05]  She'll never watch this, of course.
[00:10:07]  I'll get her another one.
[00:10:08]  No, no, no.
[00:10:09]  I'm just, no, no, please.
[00:10:10]  We'll give it to Cutie.
[00:10:12]  It would be very cost-effective.
[00:10:14]  It would be very nice.
[00:10:17]  I would be very cost.
[00:10:18]  You know, I'm just saying.
[00:10:19]  Austin, what?
[00:10:20]  This is the season.
[00:10:21]  This is the season.
[00:10:22]  It seems to be jolly.
[00:10:24]  You live like the Grinch.
[00:10:25]  How I suspect The Grinch lives.
[00:10:27]  I love the Grinch.
[00:10:27]  Christian's been staying at my house because he did not want to put Christian in a hotel.
[00:10:32]  Oh, no.
[00:10:32]  You turned it into a wayward Twink boarding house?
[00:10:35]  Is that why there's a second tweet this year?
[00:10:37]  Yeah, no.
[00:10:38]  He just been born in Trinity.
[00:10:40]  No, it's Leo.
[00:10:41]  Yeah, Leo.
[00:10:44]  He's turned the house into a hostel for no, Here's the.
[00:10:48]  I think it's an improvement.
[00:10:50]  Look, I think this is the deal.
[00:10:52]  Christian came down and we traveled separately because he comes down for an acting class.
[00:10:57]  And I get here the next day.
[00:10:59]  He didn't come down for an acting class.
[00:11:00]  He did.
[00:11:01]  He came down for a party.
[00:11:02]  No, he didn't.
[00:11:02]  No, he didn't.
[00:11:03]  He came down for an acting class.
[00:11:04]  He came down for a party that I was also invited.
[00:11:06]  That party I was also invited to as well.
[00:11:08]  I don't think you were because I weren't there.
[00:11:10]  I was invited to it.
[00:11:11]  I don't know you were.
[00:11:12]  He skipped.
[00:11:12]  I didn't get invited to a party.
[00:11:14]  Well, it was a, it was a, I don't even know how the fuck you did.
[00:11:16]  It was a gay party.
[00:11:17]  How the fuck did you get invited?
[00:11:19]  Bitch, I got motioned.
[00:11:21]  Who the fuck invited you?
[00:11:22]  Yeah.
[00:11:22]  What do you mean, dude?
[00:11:24]  It was.
[00:11:24]  Well, first of all, it was the Trevor Project.
[00:11:26]  It was a fundraiser for the Trevor Project.
[00:11:28]  Oh, with Vinny Hacker.
[00:11:30]  Oh.
[00:11:30]  So Vinny invited you.
[00:11:33]  Vinny didn't invite me.
[00:11:34]  Wait, what the fuck?
[00:11:36]  Vinny!
[00:11:37]  Vinny!
[00:11:37]  What the fuck?
[00:11:39]  I don't know if Vinny invited you.
[00:11:41]  Oh, you don't think I'm gay?
[00:11:43]  I don't know.
[00:11:43]  Who is this guy?
[00:11:44]  Oh, no.
[00:11:45]  Vinny Hacker?
[00:11:46]  Yeah.
[00:11:46]  Many people are saying.
[00:11:48]  Oh, many people are saying that I'm not gay.
[00:11:50]  They're saying you're mighty straight.
[00:11:51]  That's what the streets are saying.
[00:11:52]  What streets are you on?
[00:11:54]  West Hollywood?
[00:11:54]  What's some weird back alley street?
[00:11:56]  Ain't even you don't leave your house, Mr. Fucking.
[00:11:59]  You don't leave your house without a walker.
[00:12:01]  Damn.
[00:12:01]  Okay, I wanted to.
[00:12:02]  I wanted to talk to you about something, by the way.
[00:12:04]  What's up?
[00:12:05]  We both played dispatch very quickly.
[00:12:08]  I chose the wrong girl.
[00:12:09]  Oh, you went with Invisigal?
[00:12:10]  Invisigal, and she turned out to be that's so crazy.
[00:12:13]  She turned out to be for the streets.
[00:12:14]  That's crazy that you did not go with Blonde Blazer, which is like Invisigal matched my freak.
[00:12:20]  And then she was just for the streets.
[00:12:23]  You're fucking, you got, you got duped by chat.
[00:12:25]  They were like, meh, me, me, me, me.
[00:12:27]  Pick Invisigal is the right choice.
[00:12:28]  No, wrong.
[00:12:29]  I was like, hey, you know when they say, like, I want a girl to destroy my life?
[00:12:33]  They actually want that.
[00:12:35]  Yeah.
[00:12:35]  Well, I mean, Invisigal, like, you know, the chapter two opening sequence.
[00:12:41]  No, I think her whole thing after like when in the end, I don't want to give anything away.
[00:12:47]  I think she's lying.
[00:12:48]  I think she's full-blown forgazy.
[00:12:52]  Really?
[00:12:52]  None of it made sense.
[00:12:54]  I chose blonde and I believed Invisigal.
[00:12:56]  I did not believe her at all.
[00:12:58]  I think she was trying to steal the suit.
[00:13:00]  Wow.
[00:13:01]  Yeah.
[00:13:02]  Wait a fucking second.
[00:13:03]  Where are our Christmas gifts from Kassan?
[00:13:05]  Oh, shit.
[00:13:08]  Yeah, I forgot.
[00:13:09]  Yeah, I forgot.
[00:13:11]  No.
[00:13:12]  Just kidding.
[00:13:13]  Hey.
[00:13:15]  David.
[00:13:17]  Can you bring the gifts?
[00:13:21]  Bring in the gifts.
[00:13:24]  No.
[00:13:25]  Like a rickshaw.
[00:13:26]  No, there's a lot.
[00:13:28]  A war elephant.
[00:13:29]  Did anybody get that reference in the comments?
[00:13:31]  Please tell me you got that reference.
[00:13:33]  It was just you being the console to yes.
[00:13:35]  Fuck.
[00:13:36]  Frow.
[00:13:37]  Frow for visitu.
[00:13:39]  Frow for visitup.
[00:13:40]  He gates you.
[00:13:41]  Oh, wow.
[00:13:42]  Look at this.
[00:13:43]  Wait, you already gave me.
[00:13:44]  You told Austin that you got.
[00:13:47]  I know, but you told Austin that, like, what the gifts are?
[00:13:50]  No, I don't know what they are.
[00:13:53]  Wait a minute.
[00:13:54]  Wait a minute.
[00:13:55]  I got a text message.
[00:13:56]  No, I got a text message being like, did you just accidentally reveal that they bought the gifts for you?
[00:14:00]  No, I got the gifts, but he texted me.
[00:14:08]  He texted me saying, he texted me saying.
[00:14:10]  Oh, you didn't have.
[00:14:11]  He told me.
[00:14:12]  Oh, you're spilling everywhere.
[00:14:16]  Fuck.
[00:14:17]  God, well, it's so heavy.
[00:14:18]  It's not with one hand.
[00:14:20]  My God, would you get me bricks?
[00:14:22]  Don't worry about it.
[00:14:22]  I'm going to know.
[00:14:23]  One by one.
[00:14:24]  Oh, please.
[00:14:24]  I'll go through.
[00:14:25]  Who goes first?
[00:14:26]  Whoa.
[00:14:28]  No, no, it's.
[00:14:31]  Oh.
[00:14:32]  Oh, my God.
[00:14:33]  Is this mine too?
[00:14:34]  No, that's it.
[00:14:35]  You got me two guys.
[00:14:37]  You guys, it's a callback.
[00:14:39]  It's Chuck Norris's water.
[00:14:40]  It's C-Force.
[00:14:41]  Sea Force.
[00:14:42]  You got me C-Force.
[00:14:44]  Oh, my God.
[00:14:45]  Oh, my God.
[00:14:46]  Yeah, that's what it is.
[00:14:48]  Oh, no.
[00:14:49]  You got much glitter.
[00:14:51]  Oh, no.
[00:14:52]  I have a meeting with A24 later.
[00:14:54]  I'm going to look like I was with a stripper.
[00:14:57]  I'm going to come back to the house.
[00:15:00]  A very festive stripper.
[00:15:03]  Hey, my name's Amber.
[00:15:04]  I love Christmas.
[00:15:06]  You want me to sit on your feet?
[00:15:08]  Give me 50 bucks.
[00:15:10]  Oh, fuck.
[00:15:14]  She pops into a very.
[00:15:17]  Maybe it's cold outside.
[00:15:19]  Wow, she's talented.
[00:15:23]  Good Jesus Christ.
[00:15:26]  All right.
[00:15:27]  Oh, let's see what you got.
[00:15:29]  Wow.
[00:15:30]  Oh.
[00:15:31]  It's a multi-parter.
[00:15:32]  That's why it's in this box.
[00:15:35]  Pokemon cards.
[00:15:37]  Yay.
[00:15:38]  Okay, is this the right one, though?
[00:15:40]  Yeah, those are great.
[00:15:41]  Okay, good.
[00:15:42]  And then.
[00:15:44]  Oh, comic book.
[00:15:46]  But what?
[00:15:46]  But what?
[00:15:48]  There's so much duct tape.
[00:15:50]  I believe that you wrapped this because of the use of duct tape.
[00:15:53]  I did not wrap it.
[00:15:54]  Lied to me.
[00:15:58]  Oh, DCKO.
[00:16:01]  I've been wanting to read this so badly.
[00:16:04]  Keep going.
[00:16:04]  There's one.
[00:16:05]  Oh, what else is in there?
[00:16:08]  Oh, Absolute Batman.
[00:16:09]  Do you have the Absolute Batman ones?
[00:16:11]  I have a few of them.
[00:16:12]  I don't have these ones.
[00:16:13]  Okay, good.
[00:16:14]  Wow, thank you.
[00:16:16]  Oh, and you got me the first collection of Absolute Batman.

=== Pokemon Cards and Duct Tape (15:11) ===

[00:16:20]  This is the best Christmas ever.
[00:16:23]  Definitely better than when I gave you the Turkish, which had more significance for me.
[00:16:29]  Listen, I really...
[00:16:31]  That gift grew on.
[00:16:33]  In case you guys don't know, Hassan forgot to get me a gift for my birthday.
[00:16:38]  So he just showed up with an old Turkish Batman office bookstore.
[00:16:43]  No, I got you another gift.
[00:16:44]  That's hush from Batman, but in Turkish, they don't have the word hush.
[00:16:49]  So it was just a shush, hush.
[00:16:51]  Okay.
[00:16:53]  For those of you at home, I did get him a gift.
[00:16:55]  I gave it to him after.
[00:16:56]  I treasure it.
[00:16:57]  But at the time, the gift had not been delivered yet.
[00:17:01]  So I gave it to you.
[00:17:02]  I treasure.
[00:17:02]  Shush, We're going to crack packs here while we talk.
[00:17:09]  Go ahead, open your gift.
[00:17:10]  All right.
[00:17:11]  This is awesome.
[00:17:12]  What a display.
[00:17:13]  Merry Christmas.
[00:17:13]  I didn't even give you my list.
[00:17:15]  How did you know?
[00:17:16]  I'm sure I'll love it.
[00:17:18]  My mother taught me so well.
[00:17:19]  When I was a kid, she said, you better fucking act like you love it, even if you don't.
[00:17:23]  It's a box of hair.
[00:17:24]  I think you're going to like it.
[00:17:25]  Okay.
[00:17:26]  Hold on, Will.
[00:17:26]  Let me have my moment.
[00:17:28]  Oh.
[00:17:28]  Sorry.
[00:17:29]  Wait, what is...
[00:17:29]  I don't even understand how this process works.
[00:17:33]  Oh, you get me.
[00:17:35]  I'll show you.
[00:17:37]  He's opening the cards in front of us.
[00:17:39]  He's having his moment.
[00:17:40]  Ignore me.
[00:17:41]  Breaking gift giving.
[00:17:44]  Ignore me.
[00:17:45]  Everybody knows it.
[00:17:46]  Move around the room.
[00:17:47]  Sorry.
[00:17:47]  And it's my turn.
[00:17:48]  Okay.
[00:17:49]  Everybody knows that.
[00:17:50]  All right.
[00:17:52]  Everybody, everybody has to be.
[00:17:54]  I'm not doing it.
[00:17:55]  When people are giving gifts, I don't like when there's side conversations.
[00:17:58]  I'm not.
[00:17:59]  I'm doing it.
[00:17:59]  Makes it feel.
[00:18:00]  I'll eat some cheese.
[00:18:01]  I'll eat some cheese.
[00:18:01]  Like, you don't care what I think about the gift.
[00:18:03]  I'm watching.
[00:18:04]  I might as well not even be opening anything.
[00:18:05]  I'm watching.
[00:18:06]  What is this?
[00:18:07]  Rubber?
[00:18:07]  Is it wrapping paper?
[00:18:08]  Oh, my God.
[00:18:09]  A letter.
[00:18:10]  Oh, no, that's not.
[00:18:16]  Shut up.
[00:18:17]  What is this?
[00:18:18]  What?
[00:18:23]  I have no idea what it is.
[00:18:25]  Oh, come on.
[00:18:26]  Get with it.
[00:18:27]  Don't do that.
[00:18:28]  It's his moment.
[00:18:29]  Don't do that.
[00:18:30]  Dude, you can't rush to that.
[00:18:32]  No, you didn't.
[00:18:37]  How much vapor is in there?
[00:18:39]  Oh!
[00:18:41]  Oh, my.
[00:18:44]  Oh, a sweater.
[00:18:45]  Oh, my God.
[00:18:47]  Not just any.
[00:18:49]  Tom Todd Snyder.
[00:18:54]  Todd Snyder.
[00:18:57]  That's my favorite designer.
[00:18:58]  Tom.
[00:18:59]  Tom Snyder.
[00:19:00]  Oh, you wanted...
[00:19:02]  You wanted a...
[00:19:03]  Oh, my God.
[00:19:04]  You've been...
[00:19:04]  Word on the street.
[00:19:05]  Oh.
[00:19:06]  Word around the street is that you were saying that you wanted to wear a Hassan style sweater.
[00:19:12]  Yes, it was.
[00:19:13]  Oh, my God.
[00:19:15]  That's Hassan style.
[00:19:16]  That is Hassan style.
[00:19:20]  Maybe a little kisser.
[00:19:22]  Oh, God.
[00:19:23]  Okay.
[00:19:23]  Oh, look at that.
[00:19:25]  Thank you.
[00:19:26]  This is so nice.
[00:19:27]  I'm going to wear this.
[00:19:29]  I'm going to wear it.
[00:19:30]  That's the expectation.
[00:19:31]  That's what.
[00:19:32]  Thank you.
[00:19:33]  Thank you.
[00:19:33]  Is this a designer, brand?
[00:19:34]  My guess.
[00:19:36]  Really?
[00:19:36]  Yeah.
[00:19:37]  Todd Snyder.
[00:19:38]  Todd Snyder.
[00:19:39]  Shut the fuck up.
[00:19:40]  Old Todd.
[00:19:41]  Yeah, there's some stuff here for obviously Marge and Cootie Cinderella as well, but since neither are here.
[00:19:47]  Let's open it.
[00:19:47]  I'm going to burn them.
[00:19:49]  No, no, no, no.
[00:19:50]  What we'll do.
[00:19:50]  Let me give this to you.
[00:19:51]  Oh, no.
[00:19:52]  Don't face me out of reality.
[00:19:55]  Boom.
[00:19:56]  You just replaced Will.
[00:19:58]  Wow.
[00:19:59]  Cutie Cinderella's in the building.
[00:20:01]  Wow, we got her here.
[00:20:03]  Also, Marshall is one amazing, crazy thing.
[00:20:06]  I forgot what Marsh looks like, honestly.
[00:20:08]  Yeah, it's still, it's actually before Christmas now.
[00:20:11]  And this $500 cashmere sweater, if you're wondering, is a gift that Hassan got me that I changed into in this episode.
[00:20:18]  And now we have Cutie here, and we have gifts to give her.
[00:20:22]  I didn't bring all my gifts.
[00:20:24]  You didn't get me anything for this?
[00:20:25]  No, I got you really cool things, actually.
[00:20:28]  I just didn't bring them today.
[00:20:29]  That's okay.
[00:20:30]  But I'll just have my assistant bring them next week or something.
[00:20:33]  Okay.
[00:20:33]  I'm sorry.
[00:20:34]  No, apology accepted.
[00:20:36]  I've been a little behind.
[00:20:38]  Yes.
[00:20:38]  It's okay.
[00:20:39]  Well, can I say?
[00:20:40]  Do you want to get started by what you got for Cutie Cinderella?
[00:20:43]  First things first, this is just a little side gift.
[00:20:45]  No, I feel bad.
[00:20:46]  I wanted to get you.
[00:20:47]  I didn't know we were doing this this week.
[00:20:49]  I heard somebody told me, a little birdie told me, that these are Taylor Swift's favorite candy.
[00:20:55]  Okay.
[00:20:55]  And we were checking out, and I said, she's got to have these.
[00:20:58]  That's so funny.
[00:20:59]  So these are Taylor Swift's favorite candy.
[00:21:01]  It's actually really funny because people always ask me if I've tried these before.
[00:21:04]  And you've never tried them.
[00:21:04]  And I've never tried them.
[00:21:06]  Should we try them right now?
[00:21:07]  Let's try them right now.
[00:21:09]  Okay.
[00:21:10]  Here.
[00:21:11]  My hands are not working.
[00:21:12]  I got it.
[00:21:12]  I got it.
[00:21:13]  Oh, here we go.
[00:21:14]  This is Taylor Swift's favorite candy.
[00:21:16]  Here, take one.
[00:21:17]  All right, Hassan.
[00:21:22]  At the reflexes of it.
[00:21:23]  What is happening?
[00:21:24]  Why are you giving me?
[00:21:25]  All right, there we go.
[00:21:26]  We're trying.
[00:21:26]  These are Taylor Swift's favorite candy.
[00:21:30]  Oh, my God.
[00:21:31]  That's really freaking good.
[00:21:33]  It's so sweet.
[00:21:34]  Wait.
[00:21:37]  Oh, my God.
[00:21:38]  You know what this reminds me of?
[00:21:39]  This reminds me of the.
[00:21:40]  Wait, give me more.
[00:21:41]  That's actually really good.
[00:21:42]  Wait, it gets a little sour at the end, surprisingly.
[00:21:45]  There you go.
[00:21:46]  Wow.
[00:21:47]  It's a smart day's brand.
[00:21:48]  Wow.
[00:21:49]  Oh, my gosh.
[00:21:51]  Unbelievable.
[00:21:53]  Really good.
[00:21:54]  All right.
[00:21:55]  No.
[00:21:57]  I feel so bad.
[00:21:58]  I came up to handle it.
[00:21:59]  I normally don't bring you anything.
[00:22:01]  For the record, I have stuff for you guys.
[00:22:04]  Cutie, don't feel bad.
[00:22:05]  You actually got us stuff, but you forgot to bring it.
[00:22:08]  Whereas March actually is a real piece of shit who didn't get us anything.
[00:22:12]  And he decided that because he wasn't going to be here on the Christmas episode, he's like, oh, I don't need to get them any gifts.
[00:22:18]  And you wrapped it.
[00:22:19]  Did you wrap this?
[00:22:20]  No, the Salvation Army did.
[00:22:21]  Oh, cute.
[00:22:22]  They had a wrapping up.
[00:22:23]  They didn't think I'd be here.
[00:22:24]  I wasn't supposed to give it to five bucks.
[00:22:25]  50.
[00:22:27]  Don't try to fucking correct the record over there, Mars.
[00:22:30]  Excuse me.
[00:22:30]  She's opening my gift.
[00:22:31]  That's your birthday.
[00:22:32]  The nice thing now, though, is now I can know if I have to adjust because I feel like I overkilled some items that I bought you guys.
[00:22:37]  And I was like, maybe they're going to think.
[00:22:39]  She can take some away if they're not going to be able to get some more.
[00:22:40]  So I can take some away.
[00:22:41]  Yeah.
[00:22:43]  You know, if we didn't match energies, so then you don't feel weird.
[00:22:46]  Oh, go ahead.
[00:22:47]  I won't feel weird.
[00:22:48]  You can always give me.
[00:22:49]  I was really trying to put a lot of thought into these gifts.
[00:22:52]  And this one is...
[00:22:56]  I feel like when you give gifts, you got to have a good story.
[00:22:59]  Right.
[00:22:59]  Right?
[00:23:00]  Okay.
[00:23:00]  And I think that that makes the gift hit harder.
[00:23:02]  If you don't have a good story, no.
[00:23:04]  You're going to a place where this is going to really come in handy.
[00:23:09]  What do you get a woman that has everything?
[00:23:11]  A book warming.
[00:23:12]  No.
[00:23:12]  I get you a very pretty, gorgeous Lululemon beanie.
[00:23:17]  I know you love a beanie, and you're going to a very cold place.
[00:23:19]  You're going to need it.
[00:23:20]  And who doesn't need, oh my God, is the price tag on the socks?
[00:23:24]  How much?
[00:23:24]  Oh, my God.
[00:23:25]  No, no.
[00:23:25]  Please don't.
[00:23:26]  You ripped it off.
[00:23:26]  Oh, thanks.
[00:23:27]  They are expensive, though.
[00:23:28]  It's Lulu.
[00:23:29]  Yeah, of course.
[00:23:29]  You know, of course.
[00:23:30]  Anything for you.
[00:23:32]  No, there was no coupon.
[00:23:33]  It was not a discount.
[00:23:34]  50 bucks?
[00:23:34]  No, it was not a discount.
[00:23:36]  No, that's a fuzzy socks.
[00:23:38]  It's a $50 beanie.
[00:23:39]  Wait, is the price tag on there?
[00:23:40]  Oh, shit.
[00:23:43]  Wait, why does it say 75% off?
[00:23:45]  No, come on.
[00:23:46]  It wasn't on clearance.
[00:23:47]  It wasn't on clearance.
[00:23:48]  Warm Revelation Beanie defective product.
[00:23:51]  No, no, it does have the price.
[00:23:52]  It was made with asbestos.
[00:23:54]  It does have the price tag on it.
[00:23:55]  Yeah, I know.
[00:23:57]  I won't tell you what it is.
[00:23:59]  You know, so you're going to keep warm.
[00:24:00]  And then, you know what?
[00:24:01]  Around the same price for wrapping the gifts.
[00:24:05]  This one was a little shot in the dark.
[00:24:08]  And I thought maybe this could be a good activity for you and Ludwig to do over the holidays.
[00:24:14]  I love Legos.
[00:24:15]  And I thought you loved Legos.
[00:24:17]  So I was like, what better way than to relax than build.
[00:24:27]  Yeah, there you go.
[00:24:28]  That's so awesome.
[00:24:29]  That's so thoughtful.
[00:24:30]  Yeah.
[00:24:31]  And I thought, you know what?
[00:24:32]  Get your cozy beanie on and put on your cozy socks, sit by the fire and build a set.
[00:24:36]  And I thought that'd be the perfect.
[00:24:38]  That is so cute.
[00:24:39]  It is.
[00:24:40]  It's so sweet.
[00:24:41]  Wow.
[00:24:41]  Thank you so much.
[00:24:42]  You're welcome.
[00:24:42]  Thank you.
[00:24:42]  Congratulations.
[00:24:43]  Thank you.
[00:24:44]  You actually did.
[00:24:45]  You actually did.
[00:24:46]  Open mine in two weeks of the new year.
[00:24:48]  You actually did a good job with gift giving us here.
[00:24:49]  It's kind of shocking.
[00:24:51]  Thank you so much.
[00:24:52]  He is housing all the candy.
[00:24:55]  Oh, please.
[00:24:56]  That'll make me sad.
[00:24:57]  I mean, you know, look, I think one thing that I learned about this show is that I'm really not a great gift giver, and I need to improve that.
[00:25:05]  No, And so I was like, I'm not good at it because, can I be honest?
[00:25:09]  It's not because I don't care about you.
[00:25:11]  It's because I just don't ever personally put a lot of stake into material goods.
[00:25:19]  And I've always thought that.
[00:25:21]  So I was like, you know what?
[00:25:21]  It's sort of manifested in, oh, I'm not going to get you anything.
[00:25:24]  I've never, that's the biggest lie you've ever told, I think, on the podcast.
[00:25:28]  Wait, you don't personally place a lot of stake in material goods?
[00:25:31]  I mean, personally, I just don't really find.
[00:25:35]  You're wearing a Gucci key chain key necklace and a $500 cashmere sweater that you got as a gift.
[00:25:46]  While, you know, we know what your footprint looks like.
[00:25:52]  You do love luxury goods and services.
[00:25:56]  My point is, I just think when it comes to gifting luxury goods and services, I've never been like, oh, so you're saying you like receiving them.
[00:26:04]  You're just not very good at gifting.
[00:26:05]  But I usually buy them for myself.
[00:26:07]  My point is, I need to be better about gifting.
[00:26:10]  I was when I was growing up, my parents are the same way.
[00:26:12]  They give me a gift card every year.
[00:26:13]  That's kind of the way I was like, you know, which is fine.
[00:26:16]  Like, I'm okay with it.
[00:26:16]  But like, I've always been more about experiences.
[00:26:19]  Let's go to dinner, you know, and everything.
[00:26:21]  So what has taught me this podcast is I need to be a better gift giver.
[00:26:24]  So I really want to put in effort and think about every time I'm getting something, what could they use this for?
[00:26:29]  Also, you guys are really, we're all kind of really hard to shop for because everything we want, we could buy.
[00:26:35]  I had a really easy time.
[00:26:36]  What did you get for March?
[00:26:37]  Oh, well, March, why don't you open up the gift?
[00:26:40]  I did get you something.
[00:26:41]  It's where is it?
[00:26:43]  It's on this.
[00:26:44]  It's this one, right?
[00:26:45]  It's right here.
[00:26:46]  Of course, I got you something.
[00:26:47]  Marsh, come on, please.
[00:26:49]  Now, Marsh, every time you have a gift.
[00:26:51]  You don't deserve it.
[00:26:51]  I bought them something.
[00:26:52]  I don't feel bad.
[00:26:54]  I was in a.
[00:26:56]  Marsh, is the camera on you right now?
[00:26:58]  I hope it is.
[00:26:58]  Okay.
[00:26:59]  You don't fucking deserve it, but you got one anyway, even though you got us.
[00:27:03]  Dave, cut all this out.
[00:27:04]  No, no, no.
[00:27:06]  We're keeping all this shit in.
[00:27:08]  You know, and Marsh, I just want to remind you that I too traveled here by plane, if that was an excuse that you were going to make.
[00:27:14]  I traveled here by plane.
[00:27:15]  In fact, and you actually made it to the previous.
[00:27:18]  I arranged my flight to, I arranged my flight so that I could be here early enough to go shopping.
[00:27:23]  You didn't get like a medical incident or anything like that.
[00:27:25]  So like I got a flight that landed in amount of time.
[00:27:28]  Now, Marsh, what I thought, I was like, you know what?
[00:27:30]  This looks very emo and depressing.
[00:27:34]  Oh my God, that's so cute.
[00:27:35]  That is very you.
[00:27:37]  I was in Nordstrom and I said, we saw this as we were checking.
[00:27:40]  That's cute.
[00:27:41]  I'm not going to lie to you.
[00:27:43]  I'm not going to lie to you.
[00:27:44]  This is a like gift you gave me versus him.
[00:27:47]  That matches his vibes better than the one you got me.
[00:27:50]  Are you fucking kidding me?
[00:27:51]  Are you complaining about it?
[00:27:52]  I got him a jersey.
[00:27:53]  I'm sorry.
[00:27:54]  I'm sorry.
[00:27:54]  I think I gotta be truthful.
[00:27:55]  I think you really knocked it out.
[00:27:56]  I don't know why I was complaining.
[00:27:57]  I don't know why you're complaining about my gift.
[00:27:59]  What you got for me was great.
[00:28:01]  You make it hard to give to.
[00:28:03]  You really knocked it out of the park.
[00:28:04]  What do you?
[00:28:05]  Thank you.
[00:28:08]  I wish I had them.
[00:28:10]  Now I feel like no, that is a combo.
[00:28:12]  It's not a competition.
[00:28:14]  Okay, okay, you are really good at it.
[00:28:17]  So, Will is also very good.
[00:28:19]  Will also got gifts for both March and also Cutie.
[00:28:23]  Wait, so what is Cinderella?
[00:28:24]  So you got Austin that sweater.
[00:28:27]  And what did we did?
[00:28:28]  On what Will got you?
[00:28:29]  Yeah.
[00:28:29]  Will got me a Vivian Westwood chain.
[00:28:32]  He got me a Vivian Westwood bolo tie.
[00:28:35]  I don't know if what this could be, QT.
[00:28:37]  For some more context, I believe.
[00:28:38]  Yeah, he also got his name.
[00:28:40]  For more context, I believe.
[00:28:41]  Did you get Will?
[00:28:42]  I believe he.
[00:28:43]  March, what did you get, Will?
[00:28:45]  Shut up.
[00:28:45]  Shut up.
[00:28:46]  Oh, nothing.
[00:28:47]  Oh, you got nothing.
[00:28:48]  I wasn't supposed to be here.
[00:28:50]  Yeah, you were too busy flying around.
[00:28:53]  He's becoming an extra.
[00:28:55]  I was buying their presents while I went to Anaphylic Shop.
[00:28:58]  Yeah.
[00:28:59]  And I was buying presents while she was going into me listening to her going to Anaphylactic Shop.
[00:29:04]  Same.
[00:29:04]  So, like, we were all kind of like.
[00:29:08]  Marsh was in New York City, fucking in the Rockefeller Center, fucking looking at the tree lighting ceremony, whatever the fuck they do in New York.
[00:29:16]  Ice skating, right?
[00:29:16]  Ice skating, rocks, spitting on people.
[00:29:19]  Yeah, spitting on people, going to the Lego store.
[00:29:22]  I'll just kill myself.
[00:29:24]  What do they do in New York, right?
[00:29:26]  Fuck out.
[00:29:26]  You're becoming me.
[00:29:28]  No, don't kill yourself.
[00:29:29]  Just wait.
[00:29:30]  But I'm pretty sure Will picked these up.
[00:29:32]  I don't know if he told you, but I'm pretty sure he will pick these up at the Vivian in Tokyo when we were in Tokyo together after China.
[00:29:38]  Unbelievable.
[00:29:40]  I'm sure we would like you guys to know that because he didn't tell us that.
[00:29:44]  Open it up.
[00:29:45]  There we go.
[00:29:46]  A bow.
[00:29:47]  It's a bow.
[00:29:50]  What if it was just like an improvised explosive device?
[00:29:54]  That'd be kind of crazy.
[00:29:55]  Yeah.
[00:29:56]  But kind of in like the funnest way.
[00:29:58]  Like from Will.
[00:30:00]  Yeah, just an IED that just.
[00:30:02]  It would be very shocking.
[00:30:04]  I'm noticing a theme here.
[00:30:06]  Oh my God.
[00:30:07]  That's so cute.
[00:30:08]  So I have a gold one.
[00:30:10]  And we have matching ones.
[00:30:12]  Oh, you got skeletons.
[00:30:13]  I got a skeleton.
[00:30:14]  Oh, cute.
[00:30:14]  That's sick.
[00:30:16]  I'm noticing.
[00:30:17]  You guys had this image of me.
[00:30:19]  Yeah, like a frail ass.
[00:30:21]  That's so funny.
[00:30:24]  Because I got an extra similar.
[00:30:28]  It's kind of funny.
[00:30:28]  We'll open them.
[00:30:29]  We'll open them.
[00:30:30]  I'm really fucking good, too.
[00:30:35]  We can tell.
[00:30:36]  You're fucking down on it.
[00:30:37]  I've eaten that.
[00:30:37]  Please keep eating them.
[00:30:38]  That'd be cool.
[00:30:39]  Oh my gosh.
[00:30:40]  Okay.
[00:30:41]  All right.
[00:30:43]  All right.
[00:30:44]  This one is for March, and this is for QT Cinderella.
[00:30:49]  Here you go, QT.
[00:30:50]  It's right in front of you.
[00:30:51]  This is from me to you.
[00:30:52]  You want me to help you open it?
[00:30:54]  And there is a political significance to the gift that I got from Cinderella.
[00:30:59]  It's a pipeline.
[00:31:00]  It's a statement.
[00:31:01]  It's almost a statement that I'm making.
[00:31:03]  Waiting for her to open it, and then you'll open it afterwards, and we'll do it one by one.
[00:31:07]  But there is a...
[00:31:10]  My stupid nails.
[00:31:11]  Yeah.
[00:31:17]  Damn.
[00:31:17]  It's a statement about ice skates.
[00:31:20]  Oh my God, it's returning.
[00:31:21]  It's a statement about returning.
[00:31:22]  No, no, the gift itself.
[00:31:28]  The box that it comes in has nothing to do with the actual gift.
[00:31:31]  It will not give you clues.

=== Political Significance of Gifts (15:47) ===

[00:31:32]  Yeah, that's an awesome.
[00:31:33]  My nails will not survive that.
[00:31:34]  I did not wrap these up for the record before people think that I did this.
[00:31:38]  I did not do this.
[00:31:39]  Oh, my goodness.
[00:31:41]  What if.
[00:31:42]  Pain in the ass.
[00:31:43]  Paint.
[00:31:45]  For many, many years you have said that you would like to return.
[00:31:51]  Candles.
[00:31:52]  Return.
[00:31:53]  What?
[00:31:54]  Return to the ancestral homeland of Mormons.
[00:31:58]  And much like Austin, I thought to myself, you know, maybe you can bring some tools with you and make a full return to the tradition.
[00:32:07]  Artisanal goods that might accompany you in your journey.
[00:32:12]  Wow.
[00:32:14]  And also some supplies.
[00:32:16]  Talk with hazelnut flavoring.
[00:32:18]  In the kitchen.
[00:32:18]  Oh, look at you.
[00:32:20]  You got me flour.
[00:32:21]  Wow.
[00:32:22]  Artisanal.
[00:32:24]  How traditional is it?
[00:32:26]  Artisan bread mix.
[00:32:27]  Artisan bread mix.
[00:32:28]  Especially.
[00:32:29]  I don't eat mix.
[00:32:31]  Cutie said, Merry Christmas.
[00:32:32]  Get the fuck back in the kitchen.
[00:32:36]  I don't have a pizza dough.
[00:32:38]  Wow.
[00:32:38]  With anyone else, normally this would be seen as a diss.
[00:32:41]  But with Cutie Cinderella, I will actually use these things.
[00:32:44]  She does actually use them and also does want to get back to the kitchen.
[00:32:46]  So that's why.
[00:32:47]  Yeah, actually, she wants to return to this.
[00:32:50]  That's a really nice one.
[00:32:51]  Wow.
[00:32:51]  Wow.
[00:32:52]  That's a really nice one.
[00:32:53]  That's very nice.
[00:32:54]  I don't have one though.
[00:32:55]  That's nice.
[00:32:55]  Oh, my God.
[00:32:57]  It's so you won't cut yourself.
[00:32:58]  Oh, my God.
[00:32:59]  That's a good one.
[00:33:01]  Wow, that's incredible.
[00:33:04]  My freaking fingernails.
[00:33:05]  Look at that.
[00:33:06]  Oh, that's good vanilla bean paste.
[00:33:08]  I actually just finished my bottle.
[00:33:10]  There you go.
[00:33:11]  Yeah.
[00:33:11]  Wow.
[00:33:12]  Pastry bags.
[00:33:13]  I've got those.
[00:33:13]  Are you kidding?
[00:33:14]  But I don't have compostable ones, so that's a level up.
[00:33:17]  How good?
[00:33:17]  How woke.
[00:33:19]  Okay.
[00:33:22]  This is a nicer brand than the one I have, unironically.
[00:33:25]  So that's kind of, that's very nice.
[00:33:28]  And then more in there.
[00:33:29]  There's the hits keep coming.
[00:33:31]  They do keep coming.
[00:33:32]  You did spend like freaking 300 bucks, if I had to guess.
[00:33:37]  Wow.
[00:33:38]  Maybe a little more than that.
[00:33:39]  Cyanide.
[00:33:39]  What the fuck is going on?
[00:33:41]  Maybe a little bit more than that.
[00:33:44]  Oh, my God.
[00:33:45]  You definitely spent more than Austin.
[00:33:46]  That's so cute.
[00:33:47]  A little gingerbread house.
[00:33:48]  I think this is probably a little cheaper than that.
[00:33:51]  William Sonoma is insane, but that's okay.
[00:33:53]  $12 for this?
[00:33:54]  Yeah, it's crazy.
[00:33:56]  Each of these are like $12 these days.
[00:33:57]  Oh, my God.
[00:33:58]  Well, you know, with inflation and everything.
[00:34:00]  And like in comparison to wage.
[00:34:02]  In comparison to like a beanie.
[00:34:03]  Yeah.
[00:34:04]  I think this is probably a little bit hobbyist.
[00:34:06]  Wow.
[00:34:06]  That's so sweet.
[00:34:07]  I'm so spoiled.
[00:34:08]  He probably stole it.
[00:34:09]  Eggnog flavor.
[00:34:11]  Pistachio flavor.
[00:34:13]  You're taking the tags off.
[00:34:14]  Sparkling wine flavor.
[00:34:16]  That's so fun.
[00:34:16]  I'll be honest.
[00:34:17]  He can't.
[00:34:17]  I don't even know where he got this.
[00:34:19]  I thought it was William Sonoma.
[00:34:21]  I think it's who's that?
[00:34:22]  It's like the nicest cooking brand, actually.
[00:34:24]  Oh, really?
[00:34:25]  Well, I mean, what he just got you supplies.
[00:34:28]  There's nothing.
[00:34:29]  I could have gotten this at the grocery store.
[00:34:32]  Well, it is branded with William Sonoma, but maybe.
[00:34:35]  Yeah.
[00:34:35]  Yeah, yeah, no, definitely.
[00:34:36]  Wow.
[00:34:37]  That is so thoughtful.
[00:34:38]  She's really trying to be impressed.
[00:34:39]  I'm not.
[00:34:41]  She's trying to undermine.
[00:34:42]  Thank you so much.
[00:34:43]  Well, I'm not.
[00:34:44]  Thought out.
[00:34:44]  I know.
[00:34:44]  But you know what?
[00:34:45]  Look, thank God I got her a beanie because she'd freeze to death.
[00:34:48]  I'd freeze to death while baking all this.
[00:34:49]  You'd never be able to bake all these things.
[00:34:51]  And put her to work.
[00:34:52]  My God, you know what?
[00:34:52]  She's just like, women can do more things than just cook a sanyuji.
[00:34:56]  Yeah, I was thinking that.
[00:34:57]  This woman wants to do this.
[00:34:59]  I do.
[00:34:59]  This is my favorite hobby.
[00:35:00]  I mean, very thoughtful, but also misogynistic.
[00:35:02]  Yeah, I thought it was a twofer.
[00:35:04]  Yeah, no, it was a two.
[00:35:06]  It's a double.
[00:35:06]  It is a double.
[00:35:07]  Very thoughtful.
[00:35:07]  You know what?
[00:35:08]  He said, he said, Merry Christmas.
[00:35:09]  Now cook for me.
[00:35:10]  I can't believe it.
[00:35:11]  How about something for you?
[00:35:12]  I mean, I didn't say for me, but it would be nice if I can bring a loaf of bread.
[00:35:15]  Nothing.
[00:35:16]  See, when I thought about your gift, I thought about the tender love and warmth of a woman.
[00:35:20]  And so that's why I gave you warm and warm the woman.
[00:35:26]  What?
[00:35:27]  With the socks and the beanie.
[00:35:29]  Huh.
[00:35:29]  That's right.
[00:35:30]  Okay.
[00:35:31]  Well, I love.
[00:35:33]  Merry Christmas.
[00:35:34]  What are you doing?
[00:35:34]  Don't throw the trash in there.
[00:35:36]  Thank you.
[00:35:37]  I got to get a trash.
[00:35:38]  Merry Christmas.
[00:35:39]  All right, Mark.
[00:35:40]  Thank you.
[00:35:41]  Crack it open, big dog.
[00:35:44]  What is it?
[00:35:44]  You got another.
[00:35:45]  What is it?
[00:35:47]  I can't carry that.
[00:35:48]  I feel like Austin's gonna steal your gift.
[00:35:50]  He might, but he can't fly with it.
[00:35:52]  No, no, no.
[00:35:53]  But my nails are really messed up right now.
[00:35:55]  I got 10 D thingies.
[00:35:57]  Is that from the Streamer Wards or this?
[00:35:58]  Yeah, they can't get them off.
[00:35:59]  Open it up.
[00:36:00]  And they're at the point where they're long, so they hurt.
[00:36:02]  Oh.
[00:36:03]  Yeah.
[00:36:03]  Can you cut laser?
[00:36:06]  You can cut them, but then your fingers are sore for a day.
[00:36:08]  So you have to decide.
[00:36:13]  The gillie suit.
[00:36:16]  Odd Snyder.
[00:36:20]  Wow.
[00:36:22]  Whoa, is that a smoker's jacket?
[00:36:24]  We got our emo boy already for his first day of school.
[00:36:28]  What a beautiful.
[00:36:30]  That's a banger.
[00:36:30]  What a beautiful head.
[00:36:32]  Let's be real.
[00:36:32]  But there's more to it.
[00:36:34]  Look.
[00:36:46]  Whoa, cool.
[00:36:49]  It's real.
[00:36:50]  It works.
[00:36:51]  It's not a death weight.
[00:36:52]  You got me a film camera?
[00:36:54]  Yeah.
[00:36:56]  What compelled you to get this?
[00:36:58]  The power of Christ compelled me to get it.
[00:37:00]  Just like I told Cutie to get back to the kitchen.
[00:37:03]  I'm telling you to get back to work.
[00:37:06]  And you got me filmed, too.
[00:37:07]  You just get back to your fucking job.
[00:37:10]  That's so thoughtful.
[00:37:12]  When we go out, when we go out on journeys.
[00:37:15]  They got me filmed for you.
[00:37:16]  This is not snapping good pics.
[00:37:18]  I'll get some fire.
[00:37:19]  That's how you know.
[00:37:20]  That's the gift I'll give you.
[00:37:22]  I promise you.
[00:37:22]  Oh, that's the gift you're going to give me.
[00:37:24]  Beautiful, beautiful film shots of you.
[00:37:26]  Yeah, really?
[00:37:27]  Think about it.
[00:37:28]  It's an investment.
[00:37:29]  Oh, okay.
[00:37:30]  No, thank you.
[00:37:31]  No, I would like a gift that's fine.
[00:37:32]  This is fire.
[00:37:33]  Thank you so much.
[00:37:34]  Not what you're suggesting.
[00:37:36]  That's so nice.
[00:37:38]  Thank you guys.
[00:37:39]  All right.
[00:37:39]  I got a text will picture of my necklace.
[00:37:42]  We could call him.
[00:37:44]  Yeah, we could call him.
[00:37:47]  I'm going to show you.
[00:37:47]  Let me call him real quick.
[00:37:50]  So I just.
[00:37:51]  Open those.
[00:37:52]  What's open those?
[00:37:54]  Okay, but isn't there a way to open this?
[00:37:56]  Like, I don't know how to.
[00:37:56]  I'm going to try.
[00:37:57]  Let's crack in there.
[00:37:58]  If you see something shiny at the back, let me know.
[00:38:01]  Mega Evolution fans.
[00:38:03]  We're looking for charge claims.
[00:38:05]  Oh, okay.
[00:38:07]  So I went shopping today.
[00:38:10]  Oh.
[00:38:11]  I did shop some shopping.
[00:38:12]  Okay.
[00:38:13]  And something interesting happened to me.
[00:38:17]  What happened?
[00:38:18]  Hasan, pay attention to me.
[00:38:20]  Oh, you pay attention.
[00:38:21]  I'm listening, but I'm also cracking them.
[00:38:23]  All right.
[00:38:24]  You are.
[00:38:25]  You have some mannish hands.
[00:38:27]  You're really slamming them around there.
[00:38:28]  Okay.
[00:38:30]  Give him a little love.
[00:38:30]  Treat him like a lady.
[00:38:32]  Okay.
[00:38:34]  Well, I mean, can they even see from here?
[00:38:37]  Wait, this one's kind of shiny.
[00:38:38]  This is that not a thing.
[00:38:41]  Austin is genuinely disappointed that I'm not listening to him and opening Pokemon cards now.
[00:38:46]  Okay, we're coming to the end here.
[00:38:49]  Oh, no.
[00:38:49]  Wait, what the fuck?
[00:38:51]  Basic energy was the end one and then the redeem code.
[00:38:54]  That's yeah.
[00:38:54]  You got one more.
[00:38:55]  You got one more.
[00:38:56]  Oh, Villa.
[00:38:57]  Sorry, what happened?
[00:38:58]  Sorry, bro.
[00:38:59]  Oh, are you done?
[00:39:00]  That's on.
[00:39:00]  Well, he's got one more.
[00:39:01]  Okay.
[00:39:02]  So I was at the second pack.
[00:39:04]  No, I'm just kidding.
[00:39:05]  Go.
[00:39:05]  Go, go.
[00:39:07]  I was at the mall.
[00:39:08]  Yeah.
[00:39:08]  And I don't usually do this.
[00:39:11]  I usually am very kind to people.
[00:39:14]  Oh.
[00:39:14]  But some guy.
[00:39:16]  Some old lady just.
[00:39:17]  No, no, no.
[00:39:18]  Some guy came up to me and he's like, sir, do you know where the restroom is?
[00:39:23]  And I go, no, I don't.
[00:39:25]  And so he said, he left.
[00:39:27]  And then some guy came up to me and he was like, I need help.
[00:39:32]  Nobody is helping me.
[00:39:34]  And I look at him and I go, do you think I fucking work here?
[00:39:39]  Were you wearing this sweater?
[00:39:40]  No, I was wearing a full Levi sweatsuit.
[00:39:44]  But I was at Levi's.
[00:39:45]  But I was in Nordstrom.
[00:39:46]  I was in Nordstrom.
[00:39:47]  And I said, Do you think that I work here?
[00:39:50]  And you know what I thought?
[00:39:51]  I was like, you know what?
[00:39:52]  You have free will.
[00:39:53]  I was in the, I was like, you know what?
[00:39:55]  I have free will.
[00:39:56]  And at the time, I was like, you know what?
[00:39:58]  How, how unique of a position to be in where I had an opportunity to fucking snap.
[00:40:05]  Because you know how often I see people that are rude to service workers?
[00:40:08]  Yeah.
[00:40:08]  I had an opportunity to take one back without the risk of getting fired.
[00:40:13]  That's right.
[00:40:13]  And I said, do I fucking look like I work here?
[00:40:17]  And he just, he's like, yeah, you do.
[00:40:19]  And I said, well, wait, wait, okay.
[00:40:23]  Okay, you, you buried the lead on that.
[00:40:25]  No, he got the last laugh.
[00:40:26]  No, I said, yeah, you do.
[00:40:28]  And I said, he said, well, you're behind the counter.
[00:40:30]  And I said, look harder.
[00:40:32]  I'm in front of the counter.
[00:40:33]  Because it was like one of those kiosks that was like back.
[00:40:37]  Like one was on one side and one was on the other.
[00:40:39]  He's like, well, you're behind the counter.
[00:40:41]  I said, just, no, I'm in front of it.
[00:40:43]  And he went, Austin, why do you keep revealing new details of this story that make it so much funnier?
[00:40:49]  What?
[00:40:50]  Like, of course he thought he worked there.
[00:40:51]  You were behind the fucking counter.
[00:40:53]  In front of the counter.
[00:40:54]  That wasn't behind the counter.
[00:40:55]  So he was behind the counter.
[00:40:57]  I was lightly using the cash register.
[00:40:59]  No, I wasn't.
[00:41:00]  Anyway, that was just my quick little thing.
[00:41:02]  And I got into a fight today, too.
[00:41:04]  You did?
[00:41:04]  But I didn't know I was in a fight.
[00:41:06]  Wait, what?
[00:41:06]  I was on the elliptical this morning because I was on hold for two hours with American to get Farley's updated, what is it, service animal stuff done.
[00:41:17]  Yeah.
[00:41:18]  It was a holiday, so it took a long time.
[00:41:20]  So I started on hold during my morning routine.
[00:41:22]  And I was like, I'll just stay on hold while I'm at the gym.
[00:41:24]  So I'm just, and the call went through while I was on the, and I was like, hi, yes, my name is Will Neff.
[00:41:29]  This is my confirmation number.
[00:41:30]  But apparently, there was a woman like three ellipticals down who like started yelling at me, but I have noise canceling headphones on.
[00:41:39]  Oh my God.
[00:41:40]  So apparently she just kept escalating the situation.
[00:41:43]  Was she like jumping from elliptical to elliptical?
[00:41:46]  She finally came up and touched me.
[00:41:48]  Why?
[00:41:49]  I guess she was really angry.
[00:41:51]  I took this call.
[00:41:53]  I was on the call for maybe 30 seconds, like talking to the person and maybe said like two things, but she was like yelling and like came over and talked to me.
[00:42:01]  And I'm at the gym every day.
[00:42:02]  So the gym employees are like my friends.
[00:42:05]  And one of the gym employees was like, she was yelling at you for like a full minute before you noticed at all.
[00:42:12]  That's crazy.
[00:42:14]  Yeah.
[00:42:14]  I mean, look, I think I won that fight, though.
[00:42:16]  I think you did.
[00:42:17]  Yeah.
[00:42:18]  Here's the deal.
[00:42:18]  I, I, I am also, I understand.
[00:42:21]  I don't think it's, I don't think you should be on the phone in public, but when you are on the phone with an airline, you have to keep that spot.
[00:42:28]  I also maybe said two things, and there were maybe two people in the gym other than me.
[00:42:34]  Yeah.
[00:42:34]  And she also had her headphones on.
[00:42:36]  Yeah.
[00:42:37]  And I was like far away from her.
[00:42:39]  She needs to knock it off.
[00:42:40]  I really think that I know when someone's being obnoxious on the phone, but literally my volume was like, hi, yes, this is William Neff.
[00:42:47]  This is my confirm number.
[00:42:48]  Okay, I'll wait.
[00:42:49]  Like, that's all I saw.
[00:42:50]  Also, I always talk on the phone on the cardio machine.
[00:42:53]  Yeah, it's good.
[00:42:54]  It's good, efficient.
[00:42:55]  I know it's, I know it's, but I usually if it's like packed, I don't do that.
[00:42:58]  Yeah, no, no.
[00:42:59]  If there's a bunch of people around, I don't do it.
[00:43:00]  But if I'm alone in my corner, that's, it's Christmas.
[00:43:05]  You don't believe me?
[00:43:06]  I think you still do it.
[00:43:07]  I think you're more obnoxious in public than you can.
[00:43:09]  Open your packs.
[00:43:09]  I will.
[00:43:10]  Hold on, no, let's go.
[00:43:11]  Explain why.
[00:43:12]  You don't, you don't have any self-awareness.
[00:43:15]  I do.
[00:43:15]  Explain why.
[00:43:16]  What do I do that could be?
[00:43:18]  Burl through places.
[00:43:20]  Burl.
[00:43:20]  So I'm just a big person.
[00:43:22]  What is Burl?
[00:43:23]  He just mows through the crowds and everything.
[00:43:26]  And I just mowed crap.
[00:43:30]  So I just, I'm just a big guy.
[00:43:32]  That's what you're saying.
[00:43:33]  Physically, you are very broad.
[00:43:35]  Nothing came out of that.
[00:43:36]  You are a very broad man.
[00:43:38]  Let me get these fucking packs out of the way if I can get the.
[00:43:42]  Oh my god.
[00:43:43]  Oh my god, oh my god.
[00:43:47]  There's a valuable card.
[00:43:48]  Here, I'll help.
[00:43:49]  There's a valuable card in there.
[00:43:50]  It's gone.
[00:43:52]  All right.
[00:43:53]  Yeah, it was a PSA 10 until Austin fucked it up.
[00:43:56]  Oh my god.
[00:43:57]  Oh my god.
[00:43:58]  All right, the last one's the most significant one.
[00:44:01]  Oh my god.
[00:44:02]  Basic energy.
[00:44:03]  It's a flop.
[00:44:04]  No, no, no.
[00:44:04]  The one very fucking crucial thing.
[00:44:06]  No, the one before.
[00:44:08]  I never understood this shit.
[00:44:09]  I'll open this.
[00:44:10]  So I can tell.
[00:44:10]  I'll open this.
[00:44:12]  We still don't know if he.
[00:44:14]  Uh-uh.
[00:44:16]  Risharam?
[00:44:17]  No.
[00:44:19]  Genesect?
[00:44:21]  No.
[00:44:22]  All right.
[00:44:23]  What did he do?
[00:44:25]  What did he do?
[00:44:26]  Disneying Valley.
[00:44:27]  I've never seen someone hate opening cards so much.
[00:44:31]  All right.
[00:44:32]  Thank you.
[00:44:32]  Thank you.
[00:44:34]  That was.
[00:44:34]  Thank you.
[00:44:35]  Thank you for your gift, Hassan.
[00:44:36]  I appreciate it.
[00:44:37]  Now let's move on.
[00:44:40]  What?
[00:44:42]  You know, I.
[00:44:43]  Oh, no.
[00:44:43]  Wait, what kind of card am I going to get?
[00:44:45]  I wanted to talk about something.
[00:44:47]  What's that?
[00:44:47]  Okay.
[00:44:48]  I'm not on TikTok often.
[00:44:51]  Okay.
[00:44:51]  But every time I am, I feel confused.
[00:44:55]  And I saw a trend that you have to tell me if you guys have seen it.
[00:44:59]  It's man on the street interview.
[00:45:01]  Right.
[00:45:01]  And they'll go up to people and they'll ask a question.
[00:45:03]  Yeah.
[00:45:04]  And the question they were at was ask.
[00:45:06]  The question they were asking was: if you got $100,000 a back shot, how many back shots would you receive?
[00:45:16]  Unlimited.
[00:45:17]  Hold on, Like people coming on your back?
[00:45:21]  No, like single pumps.
[00:45:23]  Yeah.
[00:45:23]  Wait, wait, like just like are we talking like fucking someone butt fucking you.
[00:45:28]  How do you not know what a back shot?
[00:45:29]  Every thrust is $100,000.
[00:45:31]  I know what a back shot is, but it's such a copy diversity.
[00:45:34]  200.
[00:45:35]  No, 300.
[00:45:36]  Oh, 400.
[00:45:37]  Oh, I thought, I don't know why.
[00:45:39]  I always thought that back shots were coming on the back.
[00:45:42]  No, that's a come shot.
[00:45:45]  Oh, my God.
[00:45:46]  See, you're never too old to learn.
[00:45:51]  I thought for the longest getting back shots, I thought, man, you just kept getting back shots.
[00:45:58]  I thought it was just coming on the back.
[00:45:59]  Where are you shooting?
[00:46:00]  Multiple loads.
[00:46:01]  That's what I thought.
[00:46:02]  Wow, who are all these guys?
[00:46:04]  Christian!
[00:46:05]  Get a load of this.
[00:46:06]  No pun intended.
[00:46:07]  Christian!
[00:46:09]  He's gone.
[00:46:09]  Fuck, he's not even there.
[00:46:10]  Let me call him.
[00:46:13]  Hold on.
[00:46:14]  Hold on.
[00:46:14]  Let me just call him real quick.
[00:46:17]  Anyway, back shots.
[00:46:19]  So boom, boom, boom.
[00:46:20]  Like one, two, three.
[00:46:22]  Unlimited.
[00:46:22]  Wow.
[00:46:23]  That's fuck.
[00:46:24]  Hey, Christian.
[00:46:25]  Yeah.
[00:46:26]  It's Austin's show from the fear.
[00:46:27]  They're asking if he knows what a back shot is.
[00:46:28]  Hold on.
[00:46:30]  Put me on speakerphone.
[00:46:31]  Is Liam there?
[00:46:32]  Yeah, Liam's here.
[00:46:33]  Okay.
[00:46:36]  What is a back shot?
[00:46:39]  Like getting round from the back.
[00:46:42]  Thank you.
[00:46:42]  Okay, but I thought it was a come shot.
[00:46:45]  No.
[00:46:46]  No, a back shot is like when you're like, like, the tops POV, like, they're getting like back shot.
[00:46:52]  Okay, you got it.
[00:46:53]  Okay, just want to make sure.
[00:46:54]  Thank you so much.
[00:46:54]  We'll talk to you later.
[00:46:55]  Love you.
[00:46:56]  Bye.
[00:46:56]  Okay, love you.
[00:46:57]  Bye.
[00:46:59]  Why did you think Christian was not going to know what a backshot is?
[00:47:01]  I don't know.
[00:47:01]  I don't know.
[00:47:03]  I thought he was.
[00:47:04]  I was baffled by this trend because Hassan quickly and correctly answered the question.
[00:47:10]  Unlimited.
[00:47:10]  Unlimited is the correct answer.
[00:47:12]  Of course.
[00:47:13]  And all these guys, like, two back shots so I could pay for my debt.
[00:47:18]  Yeah.
[00:47:18]  No.

=== Backshots and Time Sharing (16:00) ===

[00:47:19]  Once the dick is in one time, you might as well.
[00:47:22]  Thank you.
[00:47:23]  You might as well get a fucking time sharing.
[00:47:25]  I'm taking unlimited back shots round the clock.
[00:47:28]  I am going to get enough funds to surgically enlarge my asshole so I can receive more back shots.
[00:47:36]  I am going to pay genetically small men with tiny penises to fit more dicks in 10 dicks after about a year of that unlimited back shots.
[00:47:48]  I'm collapsing global governments.
[00:47:50]  I'm buying islands.
[00:47:52]  I'm making a fucking arc to go to Mars and start a new society with my back shot money.
[00:47:59]  I'm looking at these young straight men and I'm going, you don't want it enough.
[00:48:05]  The lion doesn't worry about how many dicks he takes in the butt.
[00:48:09]  Alexander wept for there were no more back shots to take.
[00:48:13]  It would be like a black hole sucking dick in and piling money up.
[00:48:18]  And that's the correct answer.
[00:48:20]  I agree.
[00:48:20]  I don't understand.
[00:48:22]  I don't understand why people go.
[00:48:23]  Because like, if you're already taking one back shot, like you might as well take a million.
[00:48:28]  Thank you.
[00:48:29]  You know?
[00:48:29]  That's what I had a hundred thousand a back shot?
[00:48:32]  Because like because the way I think about it is like by like the 50th, you're already enjoying it.
[00:48:38]  Like you've learned.
[00:48:39]  And if there's any toxic masculine man out there being like, dude, I wouldn't take one back shot.
[00:48:43]  No, no, no, no.
[00:48:43]  After a year of me taking back shots, I'm hiring your mother to feed me with a hamster tube while I receive the back shots.
[00:48:52]  She's my full-time fucking nurse.
[00:48:55]  She can milk you under the table while you're getting a back shot.
[00:48:57]  Thankful for the position.
[00:48:59]  Here's the deal.
[00:48:59]  Straight men do this thing where they have, they can't say that because they're so insecure that people will perceive them to be gay.
[00:49:09]  No.
[00:49:09]  So they have to like find this balance between, well, it's a lot of money, but I ain't that gay.
[00:49:14]  100,000?
[00:49:15]  I'm so straight.
[00:49:16]  I'm so straight that there's not a price you could put on my heterosexuality.
[00:49:22]  Ridiculous.
[00:49:22]  That's what they think.
[00:49:24]  And I remember this because at one point I was a straight man and we used to do this thing.
[00:49:29]  Well, all right?
[00:49:35]  But that's not how it works, Austin.
[00:49:37]  You didn't just, you weren't straight at that point.
[00:49:40]  Hold on.
[00:49:41]  He would have been one of those guys on the street.
[00:49:44]  Oh, I wouldn't take a single back shot.
[00:49:46]  I'm too much of it.
[00:49:48]  I touched a titty or two.
[00:49:50]  No, but like, for years.
[00:49:51]  Sally's killing my comics.
[00:49:54]  You can kill my cards, Believe.
[00:49:57]  But when I was in high school, we would do this thing.
[00:50:00]  How much would it take for you to suck a dick?
[00:50:04]  Yeah.
[00:50:04]  Right?
[00:50:05]  We would do that.
[00:50:06]  And then the guys would be like, oh, $5 million.
[00:50:08]  I wouldn't suck a dick for nothing.
[00:50:10]  You couldn't pay me.
[00:50:12]  Right?
[00:50:12]  And my way of first coming out was I started to drop the price.
[00:50:17]  Started to undercut yourself.
[00:50:18]  Yeah, so I started to be like, I'll give you a shot.
[00:50:20]  At first, I was like, 10 grand, you know?
[00:50:22]  And then I was like, you know what?
[00:50:24]  Maybe like $100.
[00:50:25]  And then, and I was like, you know what?
[00:50:27]  After taxes, though, that's only like $50.
[00:50:29]  Yeah, so I would kind of negotiate down.
[00:50:31]  Eventually, I was just like, you know, it kind of depends on the day.
[00:50:34]  You're like, I'll pay you.
[00:50:35]  Once you got your life bail.
[00:50:36]  Yeah, so I get it.
[00:50:38]  It's a way for men to feel like they're protecting their heterosexuality, which is so it's so crazy to me because the most masculine man, I'm looking like Baron Harkinen.
[00:50:49]  I'm in a floating apparatus with just a team of men delivering back shots.
[00:50:54]  Yes.
[00:50:54]  So, and then I'm using that money to clone Anade Armis into an army of Valkyries.
[00:50:59]  Yes.
[00:51:00]  That's the most masculine thing you could collapse world governments with your butt money.
[00:51:04]  I'm gonna, I'll be honest.
[00:51:06]  I'm gonna, I'm gonna start doing these street interviews and then making fun of people.
[00:51:10]  They don't say anything.
[00:51:11]  Yes.
[00:51:11]  How many backshot?
[00:51:13]  No, I could be paid to do that.
[00:51:15]  Fucking f ⁇ .
[00:51:21]  I don't know why.
[00:51:22]  We came to a resolution.
[00:51:23]  You know what I mean?
[00:51:25]  Take it.
[00:51:26]  The problem is, I think between us, Austin is the worst at receiving back shots.
[00:51:31]  He's tried Moody Bootcamp and failed.
[00:51:33]  We'd fucking we'd outfuck you under the table.
[00:51:36]  You think you could take it more with our buttons?
[00:51:39]  I mean, I feel like Will would probably out bottom.
[00:51:42]  I think he could take it more.
[00:51:47]  At least debate a little bit.
[00:51:49]  A little playful back.
[00:51:51]  Instafold.
[00:51:51]  He's like, no, you got it.
[00:51:52]  I'll be honest.
[00:51:53]  I think Will would like it.
[00:51:55]  You probably got a fuck machine or something in your closet.
[00:51:57]  Bro, I'm telling you, it's just after a certain point, the dicks are going to get better.
[00:52:02]  They're going to know how to hit the G spot.
[00:52:04]  You know, you're going to be enjoying the show.
[00:52:07]  I agree.
[00:52:08]  Yeah.
[00:52:08]  I agree.
[00:52:09]  I think I'm ready.
[00:52:10]  I think 2026, that's my New Year's resolution.
[00:52:13]  What?
[00:52:13]  That you're going to finish.
[00:52:15]  You're going to bottom?
[00:52:16]  Wow.
[00:52:17]  In 2026.
[00:52:18]  Wow.
[00:52:18]  Christian's going to top you.
[00:52:19]  No.
[00:52:20]  God, no.
[00:52:21]  Are you kidding me?
[00:52:22]  I think that f ⁇ ing time.
[00:52:25]  Wait, okay.
[00:52:26]  You say this, but.
[00:52:27]  It's the Christmas episode.
[00:52:30]  Also, he's adamant about being verse.
[00:52:32]  Like, he's adamant that he can do both.
[00:52:33]  Yeah, verse bottom, mostly.
[00:52:35]  There is a top shortage.
[00:52:37]  Yeah.
[00:52:37]  It's affecting everyone.
[00:52:38]  It is.
[00:52:38]  It is.
[00:52:39]  It's incredible.
[00:52:41]  What a great topic.
[00:52:42]  Yeah.
[00:52:43]  Thank you.
[00:52:43]  I came loaded for buck shots.
[00:52:45]  You did.
[00:52:45]  Butt shots, but back shots, butt shots.
[00:52:48]  No, I said loaded for buck shot.
[00:52:50]  It's just an expression.
[00:52:51]  I'm loaded for butt shots too.
[00:52:54]  I know you're looking at me.
[00:52:55]  I know you're looking at me like, you're giving me the face of, what do you got to bring today for this week?
[00:53:01]  I do have something.
[00:53:02]  Oh.
[00:53:03]  It is also a TikTok trend.
[00:53:04]  Uh-oh.
[00:53:05]  And I want all of us to try and do it.
[00:53:09]  I'm going to send it to Gabriel quick.
[00:53:11]  Wow, okay.
[00:53:13]  Okay.
[00:53:14]  And I think I'm not cute anymore.
[00:53:18]  I think it's the voice thing.
[00:53:21]  The voice thing?
[00:53:22]  It is a voice thing.
[00:53:27]  Yeah.
[00:53:27]  Yeah.
[00:53:27]  Oh, wait.
[00:53:28]  You just pull it up then if you have it.
[00:53:32]  Well, there's like a cuss one, but I don't think we can do that one because it's like hard to, that would have been hard to censor.
[00:53:37]  I can't fucking reach the charcuterie board and I'm just going to get so angry.
[00:53:39]  I got you.
[00:53:40]  Give him the whole thing.
[00:53:41]  Give him the whole shebang.
[00:53:42]  Fuck yeah.
[00:53:43]  Coming your way.
[00:53:48]  Come to daddy.
[00:53:50]  Okay.
[00:53:52]  Yeah, just like a YouTube video probably would be better.
[00:53:55]  So there's a new TikTok challenge called Say the Word on the Beat Challenge.
[00:54:00]  And since Austin is Mr. Kwando and he's probably preparing for the Sunday Christmas especially.
[00:54:08]  Are you singing?
[00:54:09]  No.
[00:54:10]  I was also not even asked to sing.
[00:54:13]  You're in the events thing.
[00:54:14]  We have to.
[00:54:16]  You just didn't see it.
[00:54:17]  Oh, where is the events thing?
[00:54:19]  In the Discord.
[00:54:19]  You're in the Discord.
[00:54:20]  I didn't realize that there was a Discord for that.
[00:54:22]  Okay.
[00:54:23]  Anyway, there's a new TikTok trend.
[00:54:25]  And considering that Austin is...
[00:54:28]  Staying on that topic.
[00:54:29]  What?
[00:54:29]  Are there any festive Ramadan songs?
[00:54:32]  No.
[00:54:33]  In Islam, there's no...
[00:54:34]  No, actually, in Islam, there's no singing.
[00:54:38]  Yes, depending on how, like, you know.
[00:54:41]  The Mola can sing.
[00:54:42]  No, the Azan is a call to prayer.
[00:54:44]  That's not actually a song.
[00:54:46]  You should do that.
[00:54:48]  There is Islamic Nasheeds, however, like the most famous one that you've probably heard is the trap version of it.
[00:54:54]  Yeah, we heard the techno remix.
[00:54:56]  That was fucking badass.
[00:54:58]  You should do that at QD's Christmas concert.
[00:55:00]  I mean, I don't know the lyrics, unfortunately.
[00:55:02]  You could, you learned Red Sun in the sky.
[00:55:04]  That's true.
[00:55:05]  But El Koblu Koblu Sawadim is actually an Islamic Nasheed.
[00:55:08]  And normally, that's what you have.
[00:55:11]  You have like battle cries or stories such as that one, but it's not actually a song.
[00:55:15]  Would that be okay to sing that at a cutie concert?
[00:55:18]  Maybe.
[00:55:18]  I think I could do it.
[00:55:19]  No, no, I actually kind of like that.
[00:55:21]  All right.
[00:55:22]  So this is say the word on the beat, level one through three.
[00:55:27]  So this has been all over my TikTok for you, Paige.
[00:55:29]  It's a very normy trend that's blowing up right now.
[00:55:32]  And it's pretty easy to understand.
[00:55:34]  So let's just play it and you show it off.
[00:55:37]  This is awesome.
[00:55:38]  We got this.
[00:55:38]  Okay.
[00:55:39]  Now, first, we're going to let Will go until he fails.
[00:55:42]  Sure.
[00:55:43]  And then we'll let Austin go.
[00:55:45]  Okay, does it show me what the words are?
[00:55:48]  Yeah.
[00:55:48]  Okay.
[00:55:49]  Go ahead.
[00:55:50]  Yeah.
[00:55:51]  Those are the words?
[00:55:52]  You'll see it.
[00:55:54]  Am I going or is Will going?
[00:55:55]  I'm going.
[00:55:59]  What's the word?
[00:56:02]  What's the word?
[00:56:02]  Sheep.
[00:56:05]  No, it's not.
[00:56:06]  Sheep, sheep, sheep, cheap, sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep.
[00:56:11]  Bed, bed, bed, bed, crisp, crisp, crisp, crisp.
[00:56:15]  I think it's chip.
[00:56:16]  Cheap, sheep, sheep, sheep, chip, chip, sleep, sleep.
[00:56:21]  Chip, sleep, sheep, chip.
[00:56:24]  Oh, God.
[00:56:25]  Okay, so you get it?
[00:56:26]  I wish they would tell you what the words were.
[00:56:29]  No, that's the whole point.
[00:56:30]  It's like spoon.
[00:56:31]  What are you bringing?
[00:56:32]  Crisp?
[00:56:33]  I don't know.
[00:56:33]  It's coming at me fast.
[00:56:35]  Yeah.
[00:56:36]  All right.
[00:56:36]  Now, now, Austin, it's your turn.
[00:56:39]  So you went into level five.
[00:56:41]  No, no, no.
[00:56:42]  It was level one, but it was like the fifth one on level one.
[00:56:46]  Because it gets way more difficult.
[00:56:48]  Really?
[00:56:48]  Yeah, the words get crazy.
[00:56:50]  All right, go ahead, Austin.
[00:56:53]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:56:54]  Now you.
[00:56:55]  I have a feeling that Austin might not do well at that.
[00:56:58]  Yeah, we'll see.
[00:57:00]  Easy.
[00:57:00]  He's not great on Propter.
[00:57:02]  Isn't he?
[00:57:06]  Sheep, sheep, sheep, Bed, bed, bed, bed.
[00:57:19]  Oh my god.
[00:57:21]  Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, chip, chip, sleep, sleep.
[00:57:27]  Chip, sleep, sheep, sheep.
[00:57:28]  Yeah!
[00:57:29]  Oh, you fucked it at the same time.
[00:57:32]  All right, wait, let me try it.
[00:57:33]  Let me try it.
[00:57:33]  All right, I'm gonna fuck it up in the first try.
[00:57:35]  Are you ready?
[00:57:36]  I'm gonna be.
[00:57:37]  He kind of goes crazy about it.
[00:57:38]  Yeah, I know, I know.
[00:57:39]  Right?
[00:57:39]  Yeah.
[00:57:42]  That's why it's like so popping.
[00:57:44]  Sheep, I used to have to get afraid.
[00:57:49]  Sheep, Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, crisp, crisp, crisp, crisp.
[00:58:00]  Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, crisp, crisp, sleep, sleep.
[00:58:05]  Cheap, sleep, sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep.
[00:58:07]  Oh, did I fuck it up?
[00:58:10]  Oh, fuck.
[00:58:10]  I went from crisp to cheap.
[00:58:12]  It's okay.
[00:58:12]  Damn.
[00:58:13]  It's tough.
[00:58:14]  Yeah, it's a chip.
[00:58:16]  All right.
[00:58:16]  Not a cheap.
[00:58:18]  Cheap.
[00:58:18]  A cheap.
[00:58:19]  Okay, I'm Turkish.
[00:58:20]  ESL, ESL.
[00:58:21]  You did.
[00:58:23]  Turkish that shit up.
[00:58:24]  I need to know if I was being too much.
[00:58:28]  About what?
[00:58:31]  I talked to our travel agent this weekend.
[00:58:33]  Uh-oh.
[00:58:34]  And I was.
[00:58:37]  I was just like, traveling for the holidays is just so awful.
[00:58:43]  Oh, is it?
[00:58:44]  I just don't like to travel for the holidays.
[00:58:45]  You know how they say there's no place like home for the holidays.
[00:58:54]  No matter how far away you roam.
[00:58:56]  If you don't sing your pussy off at this fucking event, I'm going to kill you with the mic stand.
[00:59:02]  I'm going to sing my pussy off.
[00:59:03]  Continue.
[00:59:04]  Why were you going to travel?
[00:59:05]  So I said to our travel agent, I said, look, could you find me a hotel that would decorate my room for Christmas?
[00:59:14]  Stop!
[00:59:15]  Are you fucking kidding me?
[00:59:17]  Where are you going to be?
[00:59:19]  In West Hollywood.
[00:59:22]  And guess what?
[00:59:23]  He found a hotel that is going to decorate my room.
[00:59:28]  So in the next hour after this podcast, I'm going to go check in.
[00:59:32]  And the thing is, what I found out, you're being extra.
[00:59:36]  What I found out is that he had to get decorations because the hotel didn't have any.
[00:59:45]  And he's preparing a nice Christmas holiday surprise for me.
[00:59:48]  And they're decorating my room for Christmas.
[00:59:51]  And you know where I got the idea?
[00:59:53]  Not really a surprise.
[00:59:55]  Wait, is it for my Ireland streams when you saw Hassan's hotel room in Ireland and I said, they do that?
[01:00:02]  And so I called him and I said, I said, Joe, can you find me a hotel room in West Hollywood?
[01:00:08]  Ireland is a very Catholic country.
[01:00:10]  Well, yes, but you know what?
[01:00:11]  I think we could use a little bit more holiday cheer.
[01:00:15]  That's the only I've never experienced that in my entire life.
[01:00:18]  There's not an expectation that I have.
[01:00:20]  I said, if you can't do it, don't worry about it.
[01:00:23]  No, that's a that's beautiful.
[01:00:25]  But and he said, you know, there was a tradition at a place that I used to be for Christmas, a hotel, where they would decorate the main room, not the individual rooms.
[01:00:35]  But everyone got to take one of the ornaments off the main tree for Christmas.
[01:00:39]  Oh, see, see, that's so beautiful.
[01:00:41]  Are you going to take any of the ornaments?
[01:00:42]  No, I'm not going to take any of the decoration.
[01:00:44]  You're just going to throw it.
[01:00:46]  No.
[01:00:48]  What do you think?
[01:00:48]  You know what?
[01:00:49]  What do you think is going to happen?
[01:00:50]  You know what I'm going to do for the Patreon?
[01:00:51]  Because everybody's going to love it.
[01:00:54]  No, no.
[01:00:54]  Everybody's love my hotel reviews.
[01:00:56]  Yes.
[01:00:57]  I will be doing a review of the hotel I'm staying at in West Hollywood.
[01:01:00]  I'll just say what hotel I'm staying at.
[01:01:02]  It'll be the, I'm staying at the West Hollywood London Hotel.
[01:01:05]  Oh, wow.
[01:01:06]  Right.
[01:01:06]  I'm going to stay at the London Hotel.
[01:01:08]  We had some good times there.
[01:01:10]  Wait, wait, what?
[01:01:11]  What'd you guys do at the London?
[01:01:12]  It's gay sex.
[01:01:13]  Gay sex.
[01:01:13]  Crazy YouTube.
[01:01:14]  Unlimited bag shop.
[01:01:15]  No.
[01:01:16]  So I'm going to stay at the London Hotel.
[01:01:18]  They were so nice and amazing to decorate my room for Christmas.
[01:01:21]  You don't think that's too much, do you?
[01:01:22]  You keep saying they, but it's just our traveling.
[01:01:26]  I think they combined.
[01:01:28]  I think they combined.
[01:01:29]  Well, he wasn't there to decorate them.
[01:01:31]  Somebody, he, the, the folks.
[01:01:36]  Some poor Jewish bellhop.
[01:01:40]  Has to decorate your room up.
[01:01:42]  I am in awe of the way you live your life.
[01:01:45]  I like it.
[01:01:46]  You think it's.
[01:01:47]  This is why we say you would be a dictator.
[01:01:50]  Okay.
[01:01:51]  Like, this is some Uday and Kusay who say shit.
[01:01:54]  It's like he calls in, I'm visiting America.
[01:01:57]  Is it possible for me to have blowjob?
[01:02:01]  Yeah.
[01:02:02]  Like, it's just possible for me to have blowjob in it's so crazy.
[01:02:09]  You're playing.
[01:02:12]  Call Delta.
[01:02:15]  I don't like like you take American service in the hospitality field to its maximalist position.
[01:02:25]  I think this is actually a win for the working class.
[01:02:29]  Oh, do tell the working class.
[01:02:34]  You ain't been working class for a damn minute.
[01:02:38]  You know what?
[01:02:39]  I didn't think through that statement.
[01:02:41]  I didn't think through that statement.
[01:02:42]  I was going to try to say corporation, the corporation of the OTC.
[01:02:46]  That's the blue collar guys staying at the London for Christmas.
[01:02:52]  I got out of my long haul truck and I pulled up to the London holiday in West Hollywood.
[01:03:02]  I was just saying.
[01:03:03]  When the Guatemalan migrant worker is putting together your Christmas decoration and specific nativity scene over here, he's going to say.
[01:03:14]  Stop for a second and go, Dios Mio, this is a victory for the working class.

=== Corporate Holiday Decorations (02:00) ===

[01:03:20]  No, this is what this is what I'm...
[01:03:22]  But what I'm doing, what I'm doing is the corporation itself has to pay for the decoration.
[01:03:28]  That's right.
[01:03:29]  Truly.
[01:03:29]  That's right.
[01:03:30]  They can't even put a price on it.
[01:03:31]  No, they can't even put a price on it.
[01:03:33]  No, the corporation's not paying for it.
[01:03:35]  Our travel agent is paying for it.
[01:03:37]  I actually don't know how much he's paying for.
[01:03:39]  It's definitely him.
[01:03:40]  He may seem like it was like a collaborative project.
[01:03:43]  Who knows?
[01:03:43]  Who knows?
[01:03:45]  He asked me how big my tree is.
[01:03:47]  You know what?
[01:03:47]  Balance it out.
[01:03:49]  What?
[01:03:50]  Pay it forward.
[01:03:51]  Well, I always got to hit a toy drive.
[01:03:54]  Yeah, I will.
[01:03:55]  Got good.
[01:03:56]  And I'll donate all the decorations to the post-Christmas.
[01:04:01]  Coals, whatever.
[01:04:03]  A department store.
[01:04:04]  I'm pretty sure.
[01:04:05]  Yeah, somewhere where they sell toys, Austin.
[01:04:06]  I'll do that and I'll film it on the Patreon.
[01:04:09]  Actually, maybe I should.
[01:04:11]  Just get some toys for me.
[01:04:12]  I'll do that.
[01:04:12]  Just get some toys.
[01:04:13]  Okay, I won't.
[01:04:14]  I won't.
[01:04:14]  I won't.
[01:04:14]  Make some kids happy.
[01:04:15]  All right, look.
[01:04:17]  You know, I always.
[01:04:18]  But the reason before you talk, I want to say, for those of you wondering, our travel agent has been wonderful.
[01:04:26]  And every single time I know somebody that needs to go somewhere, I refer.
[01:04:30]  I'm constantly referring business to our travel agent constantly.
[01:04:34]  Dumping business.
[01:04:35]  Business.
[01:04:36]  Just rocketing business.
[01:04:37]  And that's how you get the Christmas tree.
[01:04:39]  And the next thing you know, I get a Christmas tree.
[01:04:42]  I actually don't know if I have a Christmas tree in the room.
[01:04:46]  You're going to voice your disappointment, I'm sure.
[01:04:48]  No, I would never do that.
[01:04:49]  Yeah.
[01:04:50]  Complain.
[01:04:53]  I really appreciate what you did, but I noticed there was no stockings.
[01:04:58]  With my initials and Christians, we're staying in the hotel room together.
[01:05:03]  Hold on.
[01:05:04]  There's no initial for the twink that we also ordered.
[01:05:08]  Now, for those of you who are watching and I should like to have.
[01:05:12]  Dude, I'm telling you.
[01:05:13]  Udayk Hussein.
[01:05:14]  Uve and Kuse Hussein.
[01:05:16]  I would never.
[01:05:17]  If you are to not make me happy for Christmas.

=== No Stockings for the Twink (03:44) ===

[01:05:20]  I would never assist.
[01:05:22]  It would be most unfortunate.
[01:05:24]  If it was in the realm of possibility, you would.
[01:05:27]  Now, like, I'm saying, like, if you had that level of phone with Joe, I don't feel very festive, Joe.
[01:05:34]  No, you know what?
[01:05:34]  What I realized is everybody thinks I'm a diva, so I might as well just fucking own it.
[01:05:38]  Hell yeah.
[01:05:40]  You know what I mean?
[01:05:41]  Like you weren't, like you weren't being a diva before people.
[01:05:43]  Well, no, I used to hide it.
[01:05:45]  No.
[01:05:45]  Oh, okay.
[01:05:46]  Let your freak flag fly.
[01:05:47]  I was a diva in the closet.
[01:05:49]  Now I'm out.
[01:05:50]  Let your fucking free flag fly.
[01:05:52]  I do like the new meta, though, where you just say, oh, I have free will, which somehow gives you free roam.
[01:05:59]  I just want to let everybody know that I will never be a rude diva.
[01:06:03]  I will always treat everybody with respect and dignity.
[01:06:06]  Yeah.
[01:06:07]  Goddamn right.
[01:06:08]  Except for the managers.
[01:06:09]  No.
[01:06:09]  Once you do get to the manager, then you really lean into.
[01:06:12]  I'll be honest, I'm going to say it right now.
[01:06:14]  I bet when a waiter waits on a table between Hassan and I, I bet they leave that table.
[01:06:20]  Why don't you incorporate Will into this equation?
[01:06:23]  Well, Will is very good, too.
[01:06:26]  But Will and I are on equal footing.
[01:06:28]  We are tremendous.
[01:06:29]  Oh, but I'm bad.
[01:06:31]  You're not as good as we are.
[01:06:32]  I give way more tip than you do.
[01:06:35]  Oh.
[01:06:38]  Do you?
[01:06:39]  Not even a quiet.
[01:06:41]  Yes.
[01:06:41]  Oh, yeah?
[01:06:42]  Yeah.
[01:06:42]  And it's not even like, I'm not even saying like you don't give.
[01:06:45]  On three, we're going to talk about the percentage that we give.
[01:06:48]  Okay.
[01:06:48]  Ready?
[01:06:49]  One, two, three, 20.
[01:06:50]  50.
[01:06:53]  50?
[01:06:54]  That's crazy.
[01:06:55]  Well, yeah.
[01:06:56]  Look, part of as much money as he does, but minimum 20%.
[01:07:00]  I don't.
[01:07:01]  I don't give tips off of, I don't give tips off of like performance in general.
[01:07:06]  I don't do that.
[01:07:07]  I don't either.
[01:07:08]  And I always tip 20%.
[01:07:10]  Even if the service is bad, I say, you know what?
[01:07:12]  It's probably because the corporation is exploiting their labor.
[01:07:16]  And this corporation...
[01:07:17]  When I, I'm dead serious.
[01:07:19]  I'm not even being silly here.
[01:07:20]  When I see somebody that's cranky at work, I see that as a direct reflection of the company that they work for, not their own.
[01:07:27]  I'm not going to lie.
[01:07:28]  I know some motherfuckers recently that have lost their tip.
[01:07:32]  Really?
[01:07:33]  Yeah, bro.
[01:07:34]  Like the Uber Eats delivery driver from last week.
[01:07:37]  That shit was correct.
[01:07:39]  Did that make the episode?
[01:07:40]  Yeah, I think so.
[01:07:41]  That shit was crazy.
[01:07:43]  Oh, it's animated.
[01:07:44]  This person literally was just like, I can't find your home.
[01:07:46]  I give up.
[01:07:47]  I'm leaving.
[01:07:48]  Yeah.
[01:07:49]  But then, but then she actually drove back to the wrong house.
[01:07:52]  Which is crazy.
[01:07:53]  She drove back to the wrong house that she delivered it at, and it wasn't even her fault.
[01:07:58]  They literally received the delivery.
[01:08:01]  I did.
[01:08:02]  They heard it.
[01:08:02]  They did it.
[01:08:03]  And they ate it in my face.
[01:08:06]  They ate it in my face.
[01:08:07]  I went all the way over there, walked all the way over there.
[01:08:11]  Listen, here's my thing.
[01:08:12]  I rarely, if ever, haven't tipped at like a middle-of-the-road restaurant.
[01:08:18]  It's always the fucking high-end LA places where the servers are like so.
[01:08:26]  Oh, you have a shellfish allergy that may kill you?
[01:08:30]  Okay.
[01:08:31]  They're just rude.
[01:08:32]  Yeah.
[01:08:33]  And I still tip them, but you know what I'm talking about.
[01:08:36]  Some of these restaurants, you can get servers who are just like.
[01:08:39]  I don't care.
[01:08:40]  I will always mean to you.
[01:08:41]  I always.
[01:08:42]  You gotta be nice to me.
[01:08:44]  Listen, God forbid.
[01:08:45]  God forbid a Hasanabe head weighs my table and I don't fucking dump a fat tip on him.
[01:08:50]  Oh, they're gonna be like, this guy's a real fucking piece of shit.
[01:08:53]  Yeah, but a Hasanabi head would never be like rude to you.
[01:08:57]  That's true.
[01:08:58]  And most waiters are not.
[01:08:59]  So I don't know.
[01:09:01]  Most are not.
[01:09:02]  I will say, when I said, when I told that guy, do I look like I fucking work here?

=== Fat Tips at Restaurants (09:29) ===

[01:09:05]  Somebody went, hey, Austin.
[01:09:06]  I was like, fucking shh.
[01:09:09]  You know what I mean?
[01:09:10]  Yeah.
[01:09:12]  Yeah, he works here.
[01:09:14]  Yeah, it's my buddy Austin.
[01:09:15]  We both work here, actually.
[01:09:17]  You know, that would have been fun.
[01:09:18]  We all have our moments, but I chat up everybody.
[01:09:21]  Yeah, you do.
[01:09:22]  Every time I get on a plane, you know I had to talk with Flanden?
[01:09:24]  First trip of the day?
[01:09:25]  Yeah, you get in too deep sometimes.
[01:09:26]  You think so?
[01:09:27]  With strangers.
[01:09:27]  Oh, yeah.
[01:09:28]  You think so?
[01:09:28]  You have a lot of block numbers on your phone that were one-time acquaintances.
[01:09:31]  I know that.
[01:09:32]  That's true.
[01:09:33]  Wait, really?
[01:09:35]  If I look up my phone, he'll get too deep and he'll be like, tell me out yourself.
[01:09:41]  I'm going to type Delta.
[01:09:43]  I've got Colin, Delta Flight, Mac, Delta Flight, Terry, Delta Flight.
[01:09:50]  These are just random numbers that I've collected.
[01:09:52]  Let me look up Alaska Airlines.
[01:09:53]  It's too deep.
[01:09:54]  Oh, no, no, Alaska Airlines number.
[01:09:55]  It gets too deep.
[01:09:56]  Well, yeah, that was the time when I like, I got so nervous.
[01:09:59]  There was this girl on the po.
[01:10:01]  Yeah.
[01:10:02]  Well, guys.
[01:10:02]  Yeah, let's, let's.
[01:10:04]  It's Christmas.
[01:10:05]  Let's go home for the holidays.
[01:10:06]  It's the end of the episode.
[01:10:07]  I'm going to, I am home.
[01:10:08]  And with you, with all of you at home listening to us, you are home with us.
[01:10:14]  Yes.
[01:10:14]  And also behind the paywall at patreon.com/slash fear end.
[01:10:17]  Guys, listen, I'd like to wrap things up by giving a little thanks.
[01:10:21]  When we started this pod all those years ago, and I was paid in shoes.
[01:10:26]  Austin wasn't there.
[01:10:27]  Never did I think that one day our pod would be one of our most defining pieces of content.
[01:10:33]  And that's not just because you are fantastic.
[01:10:36]  It's because you are fantastic, fear end heads.
[01:10:40]  Thank you so much for tuning in every week, every year, for now, over 100 episodes.
[01:10:46]  We appreciate you.
[01:10:48]  Happy holidays.
[01:10:51]  And if anybody is paying $100,000 a back shot, you know where to find me.
[01:10:58]  Nice.
[01:10:58]  We'll see you on the Patreon.
[01:10:59]  And QD will be on this episode too.
[01:11:01]  Yeah.
[01:11:02]  We'll do a double out.
[01:11:04]  Let me give this to you.
[01:11:05]  Oh, no.
[01:11:06]  Don't phase me out of reality.
[01:11:12]  All right.
[01:11:12]  Give her her gift.
[01:11:13]  Thank you, Will, for the gift.
[01:11:14]  We really appreciate it.
[01:11:15]  Thank you, Austin.
[01:11:16]  Thank you, Cutie, for your future gift that I know.
[01:11:19]  It's going to be great.
[01:11:20]  I'll watch the episode when you guys open it.
[01:11:22]  I'm very excited.
[01:11:23]  I'm very excited.
[01:11:24]  They're very cute.
[01:11:25]  Very ready to open the gift.
[01:11:27]  Each of them have a heartfelt note.
[01:11:29]  You wrote a note?
[01:11:30]  Yeah, because I don't say my feelings out loud very often.
[01:11:32]  Oh my God.
[01:11:32]  Wait.
[01:11:33]  Oh, my God.
[01:11:33]  I know.
[01:11:34]  I'm going to cry.
[01:11:34]  I thought you guys would like that the most.
[01:11:36]  Can we read them on the stream?
[01:11:37]  No.
[01:11:37]  I actually put don't read this.
[01:11:39]  Oh, my God.
[01:11:39]  That's so sweet of you.
[01:11:41]  Are you serious?
[01:11:42]  You'll get them in a month.
[01:11:43]  Oh, my God.
[01:11:43]  In a month?
[01:11:44]  No, you'll get them in two weeks.
[01:11:45]  Why don't we?
[01:11:45]  I want to read it in front of you.
[01:11:46]  So you have to confront it.
[01:11:48]  That would make me kill myself.
[01:11:49]  No.
[01:11:50]  No, we can do it together.
[01:11:52]  Not kill ourselves.
[01:11:53]  Thank you for the necklace.
[01:11:57]  I don't want to kill it.
[01:11:59]  I don't want to kill ourselves.
[01:12:00]  You know what?
[01:12:00]  What's the last thing?
[01:12:01]  Nobody has to worry about us killing ourselves.
[01:12:02]  Yeah, that's true.
[01:12:03]  Because we don't want to die.
[01:12:06]  I know.
[01:12:06]  Well, we do.
[01:12:07]  We don't.
[01:12:08]  It's so much work.
[01:12:09]  It's scary.
[01:12:10]  We don't want that.
[01:12:11]  If I knew what it was, maybe.
[01:12:13]  Do you believe in God?
[01:12:15]  I don't think so.
[01:12:17]  What if there was?
[01:12:18]  I know, but don't you think, like, my mom was low-key obsessed with me?
[01:12:22]  If she could be a ghost and come hang out with me, she would.
[01:12:24]  And she, like, hasn't.
[01:12:25]  But she passed to the other side?
[01:12:27]  Yeah.
[01:12:27]  The good side.
[01:12:28]  Well, yeah, but you could still come hang out.
[01:12:30]  I know, but like, ghosts, ghosts, ghosts, as I understand, spirits are people that haven't crossed over yet.
[01:12:35]  Dude, but my mom, she gets the biggest FOMO.
[01:12:37]  She wouldn't cross over.
[01:12:38]  She'd try to hang out.
[01:12:39]  You think so?
[01:12:40]  Yeah.
[01:12:40]  She'd be like, well, fuck you guys.
[01:12:42]  Yeah, she'd be like, she don't have any homies over there.
[01:12:45]  Like, her parents are still alive.
[01:12:47]  Yeah.
[01:12:47]  Who's she hanging out with?
[01:12:48]  I know.
[01:12:49]  Well, I mean, she's probably got.
[01:12:50]  I'm sure she's a fucking badass great grandparent or something up there.
[01:12:53]  She's waiting on the.
[01:12:55]  I don't think so.
[01:12:56]  You don't think so?
[01:12:56]  She's waiting on your dad to get to the celestial kingdom?
[01:13:01]  The celestial kingdom.
[01:13:02]  Yeah.
[01:13:04]  Can I ask a very existential question beyond any of your wildest imaginations?
[01:13:11]  I probably have the answer.
[01:13:13]  If heaven is such a wonderful place and we are so eager to go there, why are we praying for people to live?
[01:13:23]  To live.
[01:13:23]  Honor.
[01:13:24]  Because if you don't, because that's a great question.
[01:13:26]  In the Bible or in Mormonism, I guess, wherever I fucking got this, I taught this somewhere.
[01:13:31]  That if you don't finish your mission on earth, then that's a failure too.
[01:13:36]  So God gave you this body to learn and to commit sins and then learn from those sins and repent and become a better soul.
[01:13:44]  And so you want people to experience that for as long as possible so they learn as much as possible.
[01:13:48]  But also God is everything and all-knowing and everything is in his power.
[01:13:53]  So why are we- Why are we praying?
[01:13:54]  Because we can't change it anyway.
[01:13:55]  I don't know anyway.
[01:13:56]  Like we're like, God, have mercy.
[01:13:58]  And God's like, no, God's plan.
[01:14:01]  Right?
[01:14:01]  He's like, Drake.
[01:14:02]  He's like Drake.
[01:14:03]  He's like, no, this is God's plan.
[01:14:04]  And we're like, no, God.
[01:14:05]  We know better than you.
[01:14:06]  Yeah.
[01:14:06]  If you think of two 17-year-olds around.
[01:14:09]  Yeah.
[01:14:09]  Because God has a plan.
[01:14:11]  But we're like, God, please change the fucking plan.
[01:14:13]  Like, this guy is like.
[01:14:14]  Which is really hard to change even like my small plans.
[01:14:17]  I can only imagine how hard it is to change his plan.
[01:14:19]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:14:20]  Like, that affects a lot of people.
[01:14:21]  It does.
[01:14:21]  Like, there's a chain reaction.
[01:14:23]  Yeah.
[01:14:23]  Like, there's future generations of children.
[01:14:25]  Like, if my mom was still alive, like, I could be a baddie right now.
[01:14:27]  We don't know.
[01:14:28]  You don't know.
[01:14:29]  I don't know.
[01:14:29]  Or maybe she would have had more children.
[01:14:30]  I could have had the mental capacity to have like a BBL.
[01:14:33]  Yeah.
[01:14:34]  And yeah.
[01:14:35]  Yeah.
[01:14:35]  Theoretically, it could change the trajectory.
[01:14:36]  We don't know.
[01:14:37]  My grandfather could have been killed in the Battle of the Bulge in World War II, and I wouldn't be sitting here next to you right now.
[01:14:41]  That would be freaking sad.
[01:14:42]  That'd be very sad.
[01:14:43]  And I wouldn't have a Lego set.
[01:14:46]  Show that you do not need a BBL.
[01:14:48]  Kill yourself.
[01:14:49]  Don't tell me what I need.
[01:14:50]  I think you have a fat ass.
[01:14:51]  I was trying to say you're thick.
[01:14:53]  No, we're mad at him for talking about my body.
[01:14:55]  Yeah, fuck you.
[01:14:56]  Okay, well, okay, you're not thick.
[01:15:00]  What?
[01:15:00]  She's very thick.
[01:15:01]  I'm thick.
[01:15:03]  You can't acknowledge that.
[01:15:04]  I'm skinny thick.
[01:15:04]  Quit acknowledging that.
[01:15:05]  She's getting mixed signals from.
[01:15:07]  You don't have the pass to do that.
[01:15:09]  Yeah.
[01:15:10]  You can't tell her she has a fantastic ass like I can.
[01:15:13]  I'm skinny thick.
[01:15:14]  I was on the verge of saying those words.
[01:15:16]  She's got a honky-tonk donka-donk.
[01:15:18]  I would hate to see her go, but love to watch it.
[01:15:20]  I could have been Hawk 2 if I would have been stopped at the right time and had funny enough thing to say at that moment.
[01:15:25]  Yeah.
[01:15:26]  Yeah.
[01:15:26]  But I don't go outside.
[01:15:27]  I don't know.
[01:15:27]  But if my mom was alive and I had that BBL, maybe I'd want to go outside.
[01:15:30]  Then 9-11.
[01:15:31]  And I could have hopped hid my freaking life.
[01:15:33]  Then 9-11 would have been a million dollars.
[01:15:34]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:15:35]  And 9-11 wouldn't have happened.
[01:15:36]  I'm struggling because I want God to be real.
[01:15:38]  Didn't your mom die after 9-11?
[01:15:41]  Yeah, but who knows?
[01:15:42]  And not during, for the record.
[01:15:43]  What if she would have done 9-11?
[01:15:46]  I don't think so.
[01:15:47]  Okay.
[01:15:47]  You don't think she was in the plane?
[01:15:49]  There was no...
[01:15:50]  No, and it was before she worked for...
[01:15:51]  She did work for an airline.
[01:15:52]  Oh, see, that's why maybe she was on the inside.
[01:15:55]  I know.
[01:15:55]  She had great conspiracy theories.
[01:15:57]  Cutie Cinderella Swiss.
[01:15:58]  My mom.
[01:16:00]  Architect.
[01:16:00]  Architect of 9-11.
[01:16:02]  I watched the documentary.
[01:16:03]  It wasn't even him.
[01:16:04]  It was that other guy.
[01:16:05]  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:16:06]  So he's still in Guantanamo Bay.
[01:16:08]  Which is crazy because Osama Bin Laden got all the credit for that.
[01:16:11]  Yeah, he got all the heat.
[01:16:12]  Like, imagine that.
[01:16:13]  Do you think he was proud of that?
[01:16:15]  Yeah.
[01:16:16]  You know?
[01:16:16]  Yeah.
[01:16:17]  Yeah.
[01:16:18]  He was.
[01:16:18]  Pretty, pretty significant global event, I think.
[01:16:21]  Yeah, he probably was.
[01:16:23]  Probably led to the acceleration of America's demise, if we're being real, given the response that we had to.
[01:16:31]  I think the world stopped turning that day and we responded with power.
[01:16:34]  If we want to be crazy, you know what?
[01:16:37]  So my cousin enlisted after 9-11 and then he died in Afghanistan.
[01:16:43]  And at his funeral, my mom was sad.
[01:16:45]  And maybe the stress from my mom's funeral or my mom's, okay, the stress of my mom at my cousin's funeral is what caused her to have a thyroid tumor.
[01:16:54]  And so then years later, when she had to have her thyroid removed, which then led to all of her other health problems, so maybe 9-11.
[01:17:01]  It's a shame.
[01:17:02]  Maybe 9-11 did kill my mother.
[01:17:03]  Maybe your mom died in 9-11.
[01:17:05]  Yeah.
[01:17:05]  For anyone who's actually offended by this, it is satire.
[01:17:08]  Yeah, it is satire.
[01:17:09]  Besides, my cousin did actually die.
[01:17:11]  And we...
[01:17:11]  On 9-11?
[01:17:12]  No, but he signed up for the military after 9-11.
[01:17:15]  Yeah.
[01:17:15]  And then died in 5-11.
[01:17:16]  And we, we here on the Fearan.
[01:17:17]  Unfortunately.
[01:17:18]  We want to make a very clear statement.
[01:17:19]  We here on the Fearan podcast will never forget.
[01:17:23]  Yes.
[01:17:25]  Right?
[01:17:25]  We will never forget.
[01:17:27]  They say 20 years after a tragedy is when you can start making jokes about it.
[01:17:30]  Really?
[01:17:30]  Well, I did.
[01:17:32]  2019.
[01:17:33]  You were early.
[01:17:34]  2019.
[01:17:35]  So you mean, are you by a couple years?
[01:17:37]  Are you saying that if you would have been like America deserved Pearl Harbor, that it would have gone over a little better?
[01:17:44]  Yeah.
[01:17:44]  Maybe a little better.
[01:17:46]  Yeah.
[01:17:46]  Do you think America deserved Pearl Harbor?
[01:17:48]  Nobody's ever asked me that question.
[01:17:49]  In some ways, when you think about it, if it wasn't for Pearl Harbor, I think FDR would have probably had a much harder time justifying American intervention in World War II.
[01:17:57]  There were a lot of isolates at play.
[01:18:00]  There were a lot of factors at play.
[01:18:01]  There was the American Bund movement that was Nazi affiliated, Nazi aligned, didn't want to actually join the war, or if they wanted to join, they wanted to join on the bad guy's side.
[01:18:12]  And America already had industrial connections to Germany as well, Nazi Germany as well.
[01:18:17]  There was a lot of people making money off that process.
[01:18:19]  So there were definitely a lot of people that were super restrained about American intervention.
[01:18:29]  Do you know this?
[01:18:30]  And I think FDR, on the other hand, definitely...
[01:18:33]  Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

=== Pearl Harbor and Isolationism (02:38) ===

[01:18:34]  Yeah.
[01:18:34]  FDR, on the other hand, definitely wanted to.
[01:18:37]  He couldn't walk.
[01:18:37]  He had polio.
[01:18:38]  He recognized.
[01:18:39]  My grandma.
[01:18:40]  He recognized the danger.
[01:18:42]  That's insane.
[01:18:43]  Imagine if my grandma would have never had polio.
[01:18:46]  Maybe you could polio.
[01:18:47]  Maybe I'd be a freaking baddie.
[01:18:48]  Did 9-11 kill your grandmother too?
[01:18:50]  No, my grandma's still alive, actually.
[01:18:51]  Really?
[01:18:52]  Which is crazy.
[01:18:53]  What?
[01:18:54]  Does she still have polio?
[01:18:55]  Respectfully, she's got fucked up fingers.
[01:18:56]  Oh, my God.
[01:18:57]  From Poland.
[01:18:57]  From polio.
[01:18:58]  How old are you?
[01:18:58]  They're cursive.
[01:18:58]  Her fingers are cursive.
[01:18:59]  How old is she?
[01:19:00]  She's like 85.
[01:19:02]  Is she still Mormon?
[01:19:04]  Yeah.
[01:19:04]  God, good for her.
[01:19:05]  Yeah.
[01:19:06]  For just being, that's resilience right there.
[01:19:08]  Believe in everything still.
[01:19:09]  Yeah.
[01:19:10]  I feel like once you hit like 70 and you were believing it, the last 13 years, you're probably going to keep going, right?
[01:19:16]  Yeah, you got to just be.
[01:19:17]  It would be fun to just try heroin, though, at that point.
[01:19:19]  I agree.
[01:19:19]  Yeah.
[01:19:20]  I think it would be great at that point.
[01:19:22]  I agree.
[01:19:22]  Like, God forgives you.
[01:19:23]  So she's a God.
[01:19:24]  She's a God-loving woman.
[01:19:26]  Yeah, she'll say it.
[01:19:27]  She is a god-loving.
[01:19:28]  Yeah, if there's any place that, if there's anybody, dude, she, my mom snuck out when she was uh 16 or something like that, 17 or 16 to go see Greece, the musical.
[01:19:40]  Yeah, um, because my grandparents said it was porn.
[01:19:44]  Oh, yeah, yeah, it was a little risky.
[01:19:47]  Oh, so your mom was like, oh, I'm gonna go watch some porn.
[01:19:49]  Yeah, so my mom feeds.
[01:19:50]  No, They like just didn't allow her.
[01:19:52]  She, my mom was like, it's not porn, you know, whatever.
[01:19:54]  But then later in life, um, when the proposal came out with Sandra Bullock, which has that little dog in it, so cute, little fluffy dog, Betty White's in it.
[01:20:03]  Um, Betty White, she does, she's iconic.
[01:20:05]  Rest in peace.
[01:20:05]  Um, uh, so the proposal, my mom loves that show.
[01:20:11]  My grandparents are in town, they're staying with us, and my mom thinks it's the best show.
[01:20:14]  My mom was a big Sandra Bullock fan.
[01:20:16]  Mom thinks it's the best show ever.
[01:20:18]  She's like, she'd always make homemade ice cream for my grandpa.
[01:20:20]  So we have like homemade ice cream.
[01:20:21]  We're downstairs.
[01:20:22]  It's movie time.
[01:20:23]  She plays a proposal.
[01:20:25]  They ripped her a new asshole.
[01:20:27]  They said it was porn.
[01:20:29]  Oh my god.
[01:20:29]  They said it was like crazy.
[01:20:31]  Oh my gosh.
[01:20:32]  My poor mom is like, at this point, she's like 40-something, right?
[01:20:35]  Just like so excited.
[01:20:36]  Yeah.
[01:20:37]  And she's kidding.
[01:20:39]  Parents never stop parents.
[01:20:40]  This is so funny.
[01:20:41]  And it's like, it's, I think it's rated PG-13.
[01:20:44]  Like, it just, I think you see Ryan Reynolds, but I don't even know if it's Ryan Reynolds or Ryan.
[01:20:49]  It's Ryan Reynolds.
[01:20:50]  Yeah.
[01:20:50]  That's in that one.
[01:20:51]  So funny.
[01:20:52]  Yeah.
[01:20:53]  You know, parents, especially from that generation, are so like.
[01:20:56]  Yeah.
[01:20:57]  My grandfather, my mom was in her 30s and he lived in Las Vegas and she showed up in a dress that was a little too short.
[01:21:04]  And he drove her.
[01:21:05]  He drove her.
[01:21:06]  She said, You have to change.
[01:21:07]  You have to go home and change.
[01:21:08]  My mom was like 35 years old.
[01:21:10]  And that's so funny.
[01:21:11]  And she's like, no, honey, you have to go home and change.

=== Gluing Stuff Together (02:35) ===

[01:21:13]  I'm not letting my daughter go out in like that.
[01:21:15]  In sixth grade, I wore a tank top to a family.
[01:21:19]  Our family was playing soccer.
[01:21:20]  Like we were like family reunion in the field playing soccer.
[01:21:23]  And I showed up in a tank top, which is not okay, Mormon-wise, but I forget why I had to wear the tank top.
[01:21:28]  Usually, I had tank tops to go under my shirts, but all my clothes were dirty, like all of them, because I was a freak.
[01:21:34]  And so I only had my undershirts.
[01:21:36]  And so my mom was like, we got to go.
[01:21:38]  So I wore an undershirt and I was like, I'm a bit of a bad girl.
[01:21:40]  But then I showed up, and my grandpa was so you wore a tank top.
[01:21:44]  You're showing skin.
[01:21:45]  So I couldn't play soccer.
[01:21:46]  I had to go home.
[01:21:46]  Did he call you a whore?
[01:21:48]  Harlot.
[01:21:48]  Harlot.
[01:21:49]  Yes.
[01:21:50]  That's my favorite.
[01:21:51]  Yeah.
[01:21:51]  Is that like old school?
[01:21:52]  Hussy or harlot?
[01:21:54]  Lip hungry.
[01:21:55]  Why is your daughter dressed like a harlot?
[01:21:57]  Oh, I love that.
[01:21:58]  Why is your daughter dressed like a harlot?
[01:22:00]  I was 12.
[01:22:02]  You were kind of a harlot.
[01:22:02]  I was a little bit of a.
[01:22:03]  Yeah, you were a hoe.
[01:22:04]  Honestly, I had gotten around by then.
[01:22:06]  Yeah, no.
[01:22:07]  Not conceptually, but it was crazy shit.
[01:22:10]  No, I'm Merry Christmas.
[01:22:12]  Yeah, Merry Christmas.
[01:22:13]  But on that, I think we should probably.
[01:22:19]  We're just fucking.
[01:22:20]  Oh, you're gluing stuff together?
[01:22:21]  We're going to glue stuff together.
[01:22:22]  I wasn't sure what you're doing.
[01:22:23]  Yeah, we're gluing stuff together.
[01:22:24]  Okay.
[01:22:24]  Okay.
[01:22:24]  All right.
[01:22:24]  This is going to be a fun patchwork.
[01:22:26]  We're going to do like an intro to the Patreon, though, at least.
[01:22:28]  All right.
[01:22:28]  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the main episode of the Fear Ann podcast.
[01:22:32]  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Patreon episode of the Fear Ann podcast.
[01:22:36]  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Fear Ann podcast.
[01:22:38]  Honestly, that last little bit was so flowy.
[01:22:41]  I don't know if you'll be able to glue it.
[01:22:42]  You'll probably just have to make the Christmas episode long.
[01:22:44]  That'll be fine.
[01:22:45]  Okay.
[01:22:45]  We can just do an hour now.
[01:22:46]  Yeah.
[01:22:47]  Okay.
[01:22:47]  Perfect.
[01:22:56]  Someone pulled a mic away from me.
[01:22:57]  That was the first time I was bullied.
[01:22:59]  Wait, did somebody pull the mic away?
[01:23:02]  I didn't move by itself.
[01:23:04]  Wait, you got to rewind that a little bit.
[01:23:08]  No, no, let's move past it.
[01:23:12]  The joy of Christmas.
[01:23:16]  Oh!
[01:23:22]  It's like you're going in and out of singing.
[01:23:24]  I know.
[01:23:25]  I don't know what happened there.
[01:23:34]  Those poor parents.
[01:23:34]  Yeah.
[01:23:35]  Yeah, you can, yeah.
[01:23:37]  No, there's not much.
[01:23:38]  I thought it was beautiful.
[01:23:39]  Thank you.
[01:23:40]  That's...
[01:23:42]  Thank you guys.
[01:23:42]  Well, you're going to kill it today.
[01:23:44]  Well, I don't think we're going to hit the charity goal.
[01:23:45]  So that one's a good one.
[01:23:48]  Will you practice this