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Jan. 18, 2024 - Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer
01:46:48
THE END? Klaus Schwab REVEALS his OnlyPlans for WORLD DESTRUCTION | Guests: Chrissie Mayr, Lila Hart

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Participants
Main voices
c
chrissie mayr
13:44
e
elijah schaffer
57:06
k
keanu thompson
14:48
| Copy link to current segment

Speaker Time Text
elijah schaffer
It's that time of the year.
Hemorrhoids are back.
You're spending time indoors and you're learning that maybe you don't like your spouse that much as you try to escape the cold.
But my favorite event has kicked off the World Economic Forum.
And as the Iowa caucus ended, and as I mentioned, everyone begins to take their caucuses out of their asses and realize we've got a country to save.
I decided to lighten up the show today and I wanted to do something funny.
So I spoke to my producer.
I said, please book me some comedians.
And unfortunately, he's probably going to have to get fired because instead he booked three women.
So it's not looking good, folks.
It's not looking good.
I'd like to introduce those people today.
As they say, trans passing, we'll call them comedian passing individuals today.
The one, the only Chrissy Mayer of the Chrissy Mayer show, as well as Wet Spot Entermed.
Welcome back to Slightly Offensive.
Chrissy, how's the hell are you doing?
And I know you have a show coming up.
chrissie mayr
I miss you so much.
Oh my God.
I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.
I'm excited to be here.
I'm going to be in Texas next week, Thursday, January 25th, back headlining hyenas at Dallas with my two funny friends that you'll be meeting shortly.
And it's just so great to be here.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, it is.
And by the way, I went before and I pretended to laugh at your jokes.
And so if you want to pretend to laugh, you want to have a good time, even if you just want a place to get drunk, she needs your support.
So you got to go support her.
Remember, this is the perfect show to come on because people pretend to enjoy this show.
They pretend that I'm funny.
And so this is a great group of supportive people who will put in the work.
I really appreciate it.
Also, since we're talking about Klaus Schwab and we're talking about retards, but I'm the only one allowed to be on here with a mental handicap, a handicap person I know and love.
Lila Hart.
Welcome back to Slightly Offensive.
We have 2.5 women on the show today, and it's good to have you on.
unidentified
Yeah, it's so good to be on.
elijah schaffer
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
It's been a while since I've seen you.
I know you got a show coming up too.
You got a lot happening and you look healthy.
You look good.
You look nice in the red dress.
That's all color coordinated.
chrissie mayr
We didn't plan this.
unidentified
No, we're just on the same wavelength.
You know, I'm just feeling a lot of heat.
Saving the world one joke at a time.
That's what we're doing.
elijah schaffer
Absolutely.
And by the way, I met Lila Hart inside of a Toys R Us.
She was on the shelves with Barbies.
She was part of the Diversity Coalition.
And then Geppetto ended up, I met a man named Geppetto at a bar one night.
We were slammed on a couple lines of Coke and some drinks, breathed life into her.
Her strings fell off.
Now she's a walking, talking human.
Lila, it's so good to have you on planet Earth.
Also, for the first time on Slightly Offensive, I'd like to welcome the show Keanu from Keanu Cast.
Klaus Schwab has his only plans for the destruction of the world.
Keanu's comedian also has an only fans.
Controversial.
Keanu, so glad to have you here.
Thanks for making us late for the show.
How the hell are you doing?
keanu thompson
I really do apologize.
I am so elated to be here.
You know us only fans whores.
chrissie mayr
Takes a while to put away your snatch at the end.
keanu thompson
Yes, I was.
I was finishing up Keanu Cast, not taking pictures of my butthole or anything.
But I do apologize for being so untoward.
elijah schaffer
No, it's totally fine.
That's what I was doing.
And I want to start by giving a huge shout out to particularly not to taking pictures of my butthole, but also to my meat.
I want to show you some pictures of my meat.
I'm talking about particularly here, the piltong, which is the Wagu of Beacherkey.
Now, girls, honestly, let's just be honest here.
Nobody wants to be a fat person, right?
I mean, you guys know if you're a guy or you're a girl.
You don't want to be fat guys.
You want muscle girls.
You don't want the fat on your body, and so what you're going to want is you're going to want a high protein diet.
You're going to want a moderate to low carb diet.
This is basic truth.
But, as you know, you could go around.
People are walking around starving themselves.
They're they're, they're have their new year's.
They're not eating.
Look, don't starve yourself.
The key to health and wealth is investing in food that is perfect for your body, has the nutrients and is low in calories, so that you actually drop that weight.
There's no secrets.
You don't have to buy some thing.
You need to eat healthy food.
This is why i'm talking about beef jerky.
Now, if you're like, why are you selling beef jerky?
They sell it at the store.
Don't buy that beef jerky that is full of nitrates and sugars.
That stuff will make you bloated.
You might feel skinnier, you might lose weight, but you still feel puffy.
This is grass fed.
This is gmo free.
This is antibiotic free.
This is the meat.
These knees believe it or not, they don't even have knees, but if they did this would be it.
It is.
It is not just not chewy, it is buttery, it melts in your mouth.
This company supports your rights to free speech.
They support your uh ability to to be out in the public and, most importantly, all these companies are like we're patriot.
Water, okay.
Well, you can buy water down the street.
This is actually the organic type of food that you need.
They have different versions, different flavors.
You can go down as well and you can get um, I love, where is it actually?
You can get it's, you can get the, the bison beef, but down here it's um.
I think they have a few different flavors.
You can get the 12 pack.
You can also get tallow.
They have other products as well as these beef bit long slabs uh, which are essentially like a uh, uh dried steak you can just cut and eat.
So yeah, i'm into this.
Get 20 off right now at Farmerbillsprovisions.com, f-a-r-m-e-r b-i-l-l-sp-r-o-v-i-s-i-o-n-s.com, promo code Elijah20.
That's farmerbillsprovisions.com.
Elijah20.
All right.
I'm joined live from the United States.
I am broadcasting in Australia.
We have Chrissy Mayer.
We have Keanu from Keanu Cast and Lila Hart.
And I don't know if you guys saw this, but like, I know things start to cycle and you're all girls.
So you're very familiar with what it's like to be on a cycle.
chrissie mayr
We're all syncing up right now.
We're getting you on our cycle, Elijah.
keanu thompson
But we all have red on.
chrissie mayr
I know you're a married man, Elijah, but after that commercial, I am craving your meat.
I'm craving Elijah's meat.
keanu thompson
Why is it?
elijah schaffer
But I don't know if you guys saw this.
It's freaking blowing my mind.
There's so much shit going on.
And this is how crazy the year started is like we casually forgot that the World Economic Forum is currently going on in Davos where they're planning the end of the world.
Like this year is so crazy.
The people, the evil lords and people who meet to plan the end of the world is not even news.
It's like we forgot this is even going on.
Did you guys even know this was happening?
keanu thompson
I always know because we also forgot that like aliens are here, apparently.
Like no one cares, right?
So, no, I mean, I can imagine that we forgot about this, but go ahead, Chrissy.
chrissie mayr
Also, a lot of the high-end toots flock to Davos.
It's a big, it's a big destination for escorting for this convention because they get a lot of business every year.
They go out there.
elijah schaffer
$2,500 a night.
Actually, I was thinking about putting a, you know, a pair of tits on and just putting on a dress, but I don't work for Louder for Crowder.
So I don't think we do that on the show.
But I will say that it's like, I thought about doing that.
And I'm like, because they're getting $2,500 a night.
Apparently all escort services are sold out.
The nice thing about the escorts there is age doesn't even matter.
If you're looking for like a 21-year-old, a 12-year-old, a nine-year-old, I mean, they're all available to offer.
And that's kind of the one of the perks of being a celebrity is like, you not only get to rule the world, but you can also fulfill your evil destiny by molesting children.
And it's like, you know, it's not even that expensive.
It's $2,500 to be a child predator.
That's a, that's not that bad.
unidentified
It's a bargain.
elijah schaffer
Lila, you can uh you could pose.
Uh, you could be posing as a nine-year-old as a nine-year-old.
unidentified
We'll go undercover with a camera and we'll catch up on Elijah.
chrissie mayr
He can really trick people from the back.
Oh, for sure.
elijah schaffer
Like, hey, it's like Lila, it's me and Davos.
chrissie mayr
Okay, anyway, uh, we got team up with Chris Hansen.
unidentified
I think they would start off with a bang here.
keanu thompson
I love it.
elijah schaffer
All right, we're going into this.
chrissie mayr
All right, an underage bang.
elijah schaffer
Yes, we got to talk about this because these people are gay, they are retarded, they are not funny.
Uh, video will go straight to Keanu and we'll talk about this.
Uh, but one of the most important things is that, um, with Davos, with what's been happening, you know, they always start out with this weird, uh, strange uh oh, this thing, yeah, Brian.
Can we not have it that small?
Can you figure this out, Brian?
chrissie mayr
Where I don't know why anything for these people to replace like actual uh religion, actual God.
Uh, they will put anything up on a pedestal that is not regular old Christianity.
unidentified
Check it out. I can translate.
chrissie mayr
I think she's saying something about regretting going down on a woman on her period.
Giving signs.
unidentified
I concur who is holding a straight face through this.
keanu thompson
She should really be wearing a mask.
chrissie mayr
It's like communion if you forgot the crackers and much.
elijah schaffer
Okay, I've tried to.
I was laughing.
Somebody, you haven't been on my show before, and I had somebody describe it perfectly.
They said, It's weird.
You come across with a chaotic energy of like you're on some sort of a news program with a time schedule, and you have to hit all your points in in like a closed amount of time.
That's because I worked in network television for a long time, and we literally were on seconds to make our points.
But then they're like, But then at the same time, you show me some Native American fucktard that's blowing people on stage.
And I gotta say, I have seen videos of people blowing people before on camera.
This has got to be the least arousing public blowing session I've probably ever participated in.
And it's just bizarre because it's like, why can't, why is it that the evil people in the world, though, and I always say this, why do they have to be so fucking stereotypical?
Why can't, like, why is Klaus Schwab look like somebody if I told you Chat GPT or like, you know, Mid Journey to show me what an evil lord looks like, it would be Klaus Schwab or like show me some weird shit they get down with, and it would be an Indian blowing people on stage.
I mean, obviously, it's not sexual because there's no kids involved here.
It's going to be a lot of pedo jokes tonight.
But the truth is, it's like, what is going on?
I don't like, I don't know what to make of this because I feel like we're living in a fucking, I feel like we're in a movie and maybe movies were just to gaslight us to show us what's really going on behind the scenes.
unidentified
But I don't know what you make about this.
keanu thompson
I just love that every white person sitting there was like, this is completely normal.
This is fine.
Let this woman blow on us all she wants.
And like, we will sit here silently and not and pretend that we're not uncomfortable.
That's all I saw from that clip.
If you'd like to compare it to, I think you said it was a lot of, it was, it was sort of A run-on sentence of a question, if that's what you were asking, compared to blowing people, that would be far more entertaining.
I would, I would assume, thanks.
That was uncomfortable.
chrissie mayr
It definitely makes Native Americans look like they're just a lot of hot air, you know.
keanu thompson
And they're not, it's, they act like they're not all sitting there going like, What the fuck is this bullshit?
unidentified
I'm gonna let this like fucking lady blow in my face.
keanu thompson
Are you serious?
But then they're like, No, that's her culture.
Great, wonderful.
That's what I gather from that.
unidentified
Uh, did they give an explanation as to what this was?
keanu thompson
Um, there is none, there's just none.
elijah schaffer
No, it's it reminds me.
So, like, what I think is funny is we're supposed to be advanced, right?
Everybody, like, this is kind of esoteric, but everybody always says we're more advanced.
That's if you believe in evolution.
Uh, but if you believe in evolution, then black people are less valuable than white people because straight up, it's like they look closer to monkeys.
chrissie mayr
And so, you know, if you run faster, correct, and they dance better and they make better chicken.
elijah schaffer
So, but I'm saying evolution is a dumb ideology.
It's not true because if you say we evolve from monkeys, then people with darker skin are less evolved.
And I don't like any of that.
I think we actually devolved.
I think we're in devolution.
I think we're going backwards, right?
I think God created everyone in His image.
I think that we are all equal in God's sight.
But I think that this shit reminds me of like some fat, gay guy.
And it's clear to be fat because being a gay guy, whatever, but being fat and gay, you've messed up being gay, right?
unidentified
The only reason why you're called bears.
If this is the stuff that they let us see on camera, imagine what they're doing behind the scenes.
Because this is, we think this is all weird as hell, right?
And this is what they're showing us.
So, that's what they do.
Well, we're not seeing Lila.
keanu thompson
That's a good point.
Like, isn't this like if some these two white dudes are erect, first of all, when anybody touches them?
But number two, Lila, it's a great point.
Like, if this were somebody else, that would be like concerningly ritualistic, wouldn't you think?
And then, like, blowing kisses on a bunch of people and all of that weirdness.
I don't know.
unidentified
I don't know.
chrissie mayr
It's too much diversity.
I'm done.
unidentified
I'm done with the I'm over it.
This is a distraction from the weirder, their weirder shit that they act.
chrissie mayr
They're all into rituals.
They're all into they drink shit they shouldn't be drinking.
They're doing shit they shouldn't be doing.
They're all praying to somebody.
Okay.
And I'm just not.
unidentified
And it ain't God.
I'll tell you that.
It ain't Jesus.
elijah schaffer
No, it's okay.
It's not.
And we need to look at this because before we look at this disease X, I want to remind you guys, I've been tracking the WEF for like six years now, closely on air.
We've been tracking it for about seven years.
Now, I know this is weird since we're just shitting on this.
I have yet to be wrong about a global event.
Like, I want to say this, like before they even did lockdowns, I had already shut down my studio in LA and moved to Texas because I knew where this was headed.
Like COVID, I've known that the, you know, the war Ukraine was a PSYOP, that it was, that it was, you know, avoidable.
I told you, I mean, I mean, even at my old network, they pulled my episode because I was explaining right when it happened that this was just not realistically a aggression by Putin.
This was an aggression by the West.
And then, you know, years down, people start agreeing with you.
And the weird thing about the World Economic Forum was just six years ago, you know, people like Shapiro and stuff would say that we were crazy for thinking these people had any, you know, say-so.
And then they started doing like Event 201.
These people started talking about shutting down the world, a great reset.
And then now it's like the idea, it used to be three, four years ago, you will own nothing and you will be happy.
Was this like, are you serious?
And now you can rent clothes from HM and we don't actually own anything.
In fact, we don't even have our own dignity anymore.
That is actually true.
That's only one of us here with the OnlyFans.
So we'll get to that.
But I want to say.
chrissie mayr
Check out rentmydignity.com.
Use the promo code.
unidentified
All right.
keanu thompson
I don't have to rent my clothes maybe because I have an OnlyFans.
unidentified
How about that?
elijah schaffer
Better than me.
I make $9 a year.
So maybe I'll start selling my Bill Tong pictures behind a paywall.
I will tell you, my meat is worth more than an ad read.
But I do want to bring this up.
So obviously, women are insane.
Women that won't admit that are the most insane ones.
So stay away from those boys.
But I really feel like WEF has become sort of fun now.
It used to be scary, but it sort of reminds me of like what would happen if you like mixed together a gay man, a radical feminist, and a overt dark Sith Lord from Star Wars's wet dreams together and created a conference.
And, you know, like we know this, right?
When there's a lot of weird men out there, 100%.
But there's something particularly interesting about our modern age with females just doing this.
This woman has said that it is inhumane to farm and to fish.
Like we've got to just stop making food.
Like just straight up.
Like she's she's gone.
She's called it eco side.
We need to like stop digging dirt and planting shit and killing fish because like we don't need food.
chrissie mayr
And there is hell but she's going to say based on the scarf alone, but I'm excited to hear this.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, this is this is eco side.
Okay.
And again, this is slightly offensive.
So if people are easily offended by digs and comments, the only thing we don't do on the show is Chrissy knows, we do not do personal drama on the show.
And we also do not do mean-hearted or mean-spirited digs.
But you can be funny to people and you can be nice, but you're allowed to be mean to people who deserve it.
So anyone who's promoting bad shit, you can fucking rip up a new one.
Okay.
So we're going to rip this bitch.
Let's go.
Fuck her.
unidentified
I mean, ecocide as a word is becoming more, it's becoming better known around the world.
And the concept is generally mass damage and destruction of nature.
But legally speaking, what our organization and other collaborators aim to do is to have this recognized legally as a serious crime.
Because one of the issues that sort of pervades all of this discussion is that we have a kind of cultural, very ingrained habit of not taking damage to nature as seriously as we take damage to people and property.
And that, I mean, you know, if you're campaigning for human rights, at least you know, mass murder, torture, all of these things are serious crimes.
But there's no equivalent in the environmental space.
And so, and you know, unlike an international crime like genocide that involves a specific intent, with ecocide, what we see is actually what people are trying to do, what businesses are trying to do, is make money, is, you know, is farm, is fish, is do all of these things that are producing energy and so on as well.
But what's missing is the awareness and the conscience around the side effects, around the collateral damage that happens with that.
All right.
elijah schaffer
So I don't know, girls.
I kind of want to just go through particularly here, but I like that's a new one, right?
We got, I remember we got like pronouns in 2017, 2018.
We got monkeypox in 2021.
We're always getting something, we're learning something new.
Now we got ecocide, which is killing the environment so that we can eat.
I mean, I know bitches are self-conscious.
Sorry, women are self-conscious.
And we all are.
But like the cure to being fat, because this isn't, she's a little bit, you know, she's not looking her best there, is probably just to you yourself, restrict how much you eat, not starve out the world population so that people can't eat.
I would say you should start with the diet before you force the world to be on a permanent one.
chrissie mayr
Her points are all sort of classic eco-feminist points, and that is business bad, patriarchy bad, capitalism bad.
And since men have been typically in charge of these things, we have to take it all down and be on the side of Mother Earth or whatever bullshit.
I just think this woman is a couple of cosmos and a couple of orgasms away from having a completely different mindset.
So I really, I hope that for her.
I wish that for her.
She needs a gay best friend to take her to the store.
She needs makeover.
She's just saying a lot of shit that like sounds academic and smart, but in practice makes no fucking sense and isn't good for anybody.
keanu thompson
You have nothing to say, I can't concentrate on anything she's saying because she just looks like a dustier Professor McGonagall with a euphoria necklace.
Like it's just very confusing to me.
Her outfit, it was just so concerning.
Aesthetically, I heard no words she said, basically.
Her essence is just terrible.
That's all.
unidentified
We care more about these plants and these, well, what she said, plants and animals.
We should care about people.
People first.
Okay.
The plants can go.
The animals can go.
The bugs can go.
Let's care about the people.
keanu thompson
Especially the bugs can go.
chrissie mayr
Oh, yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
chrissie mayr
I was getting the bugs out first.
elijah schaffer
What do they say?
Who was taking out?
Someone text me and I didn't get the joke.
It took me like two or three minutes.
And I asked my wife, I was like, what does this mean?
unidentified
I was selling a parasite killer called Purge Suddenly.
elijah schaffer
And somebody had sent in a super chat.
I didn't read it because they're like, who was better at clearing parasites?
Purge Suddenly or Hitler?
And I was like, what?
And I didn't get, I didn't get it.
But what I think is ironic about, I think is ironic about that joke is like people love talking about the Holocaust all the time.
And they love talking about how like, you know, Hitler wanted to get rid of the Jews.
Dude, there are people in Davos today who want you to die.
Like you can care about the past all you want.
Like there are people that tell you that if Lila was, if you found out Lila's disability, you should murder her in the world.
There are people telling you that if they found out that I have an extra chromosome, they should have murdered me too, which I probably already know.
But I'm saying, like, genuinely speaking, like, there are people that are telling you to murder your kids now.
There's someone on the show that they want you to murder if you had the chance.
And I know it's not funny because it's not.
And I do like making any jokes at anyone's expense because it's fun.
But it's also genuinely concerning that it's like, while they get us focused on the past, you know, like, don't make a Hitler joke.
Don't make a Jew joke.
Don't make a Holocaust joke.
Okay, fine.
Well, I will make jokes about whatever you tell me.
I can't.
So if you want me to stop, stop telling me to stop.
But on the flip side, it's like, dude, these people literally are saying about like reducing farming.
And there's protests going on in Germany.
There's protests going on in the Netherlands.
Like right now, they're trying to cut off the food supply and create a famine.
To me, that's more concerning than a Holocaust.
But hey, you do you.
chrissie mayr
Yeah, they are very much suppressing that news about the German farmers.
And many other farmers from neighboring countries have joined in on that.
And just to your point, Elijah, about, well, I don't know if you weren't making a point about abortions, but like I learned this because I'm pregnant in New York.
You can terminate a pregnancy at 23 weeks.
Okay, so I'm at 26 right now.
unidentified
Sorry to like give you kidding me, but it's like, it's it's like there.
chrissie mayr
You know what I mean?
It's like, I'm pretty, I'm pretty much there.
And three weeks ago, I could have 86 it, which is like so insane to me.
And I'm like, well, that's New York for you.
It just, you always, I always knew the abortion rules were kind of lax in New York and, of course, California.
But when you're actually going through the process and you see ultrasounds and you're like, wait, there's like this much baby and you could still turn around.
keanu thompson
It's crazy.
Without some sort of like reason, like without like, you can, without you, like being in like grave danger or something.
chrissie mayr
You could, you know, yeah, I should have asked you, like, what are the, what are the reasons?
You can test for over 200 genetic disorders.
And my doctor, and I love this fact, Wade, because I'm in New York.
And she said, we test for that many here in New York because there's a high, you're going to like this light.
There's a high Ashkenazi Jewish population.
And there's a lot of inbreeding in that group.
And I guess they're more prone to genetic disorders because of all the inbreeding.
unidentified
So why would I?
chrissie mayr
I know it's a fun fact because you're dad.
keanu thompson
I don't know.
unidentified
Okay.
elijah schaffer
By the way, guys, I know that my mic kind of fucks up when everybody talks.
That's a software problem.
I want to say that.
We will fix that.
It's just really fucking hard when my director is in Alabama and I'm on the Gold Coast in Australia, but I am coming back stateside and I just signed two more contracts for to-do shows on to-do networks.
So we're fucking way back.
And by the way, doing, I've never been doing better.
So yes, I do understand there's some shit, but also we will solve it and it's not his fault.
So give Brian some slack if there's some tech issues.
It's definitely my fault.
Since I'm currently using a satellite to get internet, because if anyone doesn't know this, Australia is not a first world country.
They have internet.
They use copper, not fiber in most places.
And the average internet speed is six megabits per second.
So that's why you don't see a lot of fucking streamers in Australia because it's impossible.
So I've used a satellite and paid a shit ton of money to be able to speak to you guys, but it's worth it because now you guys saw Chrissy Mayer pregnant.
So some of your fetishes just came true.
unidentified
Yes.
Yay.
That's true.
And check this.
chrissie mayr
Oh, is he going to bring out a pet koala?
keanu thompson
I love Agaija.
unidentified
Agaija, get me on the show.
chrissie mayr
Oh, I remember this doll.
You had this.
elijah schaffer
But the Down syndrome doll was from Australia that I had in America.
unidentified
And this is Greta Downberg because it looks like a new one.
Look.
chrissie mayr
Yes.
Do you know that Greta Thunberg has $10 million in inheritance?
So it doesn't really matter if she's in a climate or not.
keanu thompson
Was that doll made to have downsize?
chrissie mayr
We've died on that.
keanu thompson
Or was it just like a, like a, a flaw?
chrissie mayr
It's a special, it's a special doll.
elijah schaffer
No, it's, it's 100%.
No, it's, it's 100% Down syndrome because this place is so woke.
Like there's like, there's like a couple percent of the population is aboriginal.
We don't have real blacks, but like every country, like half the ads here are just like a bunch of like homies.
And I want to give a shout out to that, but I want to take, I want to take a huge shout out to remind you guys something really important.
We're going to talk a little bit about disease X that they're going to start.
They're saying they're going to release.
And this is very that you do realize there is great potential for the entire country to destabilize.
I told you I was on the phone the other day with some big network executives.
Look, I'm very connected in.
I work.
I'm open with you guys.
We talked about that.
I was being paid to attack Nikki Haley.
I'm always transparent with that, but I do it for free.
I work with the GOP.
Look, you can try to destroy me, but I'm my connections.
I'm a little bit like a lot of people, right?
My tentacles are a little bit deep on the world.
So we got this, but I do know from insider information that everything is on the table and anything is possible.
So number one, you're going to want to be prepared.
And I want you to go to my screen here, Brian.
You've got to check out these emergency kits from the wellness company.
And the reason why I bring these up, go buy your band-aids at Costco.
Go buy a band-aids.
unidentified
Go do that.
elijah schaffer
This is not an emergency kit with gauze.
This is literally all the medication you need to pretty much fight off any bacterial and viral infection.
And they don't want me to mention this, but I was genuinely saying this, honestly, from STDs to COVID.
This has everything that you need.
So what you do is you click here, you order your kit at the TWC.health slash offensive.
You get 10% off.
But in this kit, what's really great, you get a moxicillin, oxycycline, I forgot to pronounce it.
We get ivermectin, fluconazole, etc.
And you also get a guidebook helping you to administer these.
Now, what's really important about this is you also get to join the community.
You have even Dr. Drew Pinski as a part of this to offer like popular advice.
Dr. Makala, this is their organization.
A bunch of doctors came together to create a community of people who don't trust the medical industrial complex.
So they provide kits, products.
You don't have to pay the copay.
Even if you have insurance, you go to emergency room, you're hundreds of dollars.
It's insane.
So buy the emergency kit.
Have it ready.
It actually is important.
I do recommend these are basic antibiotics and things that are difficult to get from most places.
So get it right now at TWC.health slash offensive.
10% off.
This is one of the only products I know that my guests have regularly bought.
So people are on the show and they go, oh, I should probably have all the drugs I need because, well, it honestly is, they don't want me to mention this, but I just want to safely say this, honestly, that it can help with diabetic foot infection, hookworm, lice, Lyme disease.
It treats all this, scabies, but it also does strut throat, typhus.
It can help with anthrax, chlamydia, pharyngitis.
It's like, look, dude, I'm just saying, the world's freaking a dirty place.
You might ride a subway in New York and you might end up with one of these diseases.
I'm not lying.
Even bronchitis.
So we're in winter.
Pick this up, TWC.health and use this today.
Links in the description.
All right.
I got my guests on here today.
We have Keanu from the Keanu Cast.
We have Chrissy Mayer from the Chrissy Mayer podcast and Lila Hart.
Lila, you're just everywhere, right?
That's just you.
Yeah.
chrissie mayr
We should really, I'm going to buy some of these packs and hand them out at our show next week.
Like, honestly, Elijah, if you're telling me there's a few plan B's in this emergency medical kit, I'm sold.
elijah schaffer
No abortion.
All right, we got to play this.
Hold up.
I need to play with you.
So unelected WHO terrorist Dr. Tedros states that disease X can mean a number of things.
They talk about this new disease that may be coming out.
It's called a pandemic predictor at the World Economic Forum.
This is the head of the WHO talking about a new disease.
keanu thompson
And they're rolling out a new disease.
elijah schaffer
Literally, it's called disease X. We've got variables.
It was COVID-19.
Now we're just giving, we're not giving a number.
It might even be underage.
It might be COVID underage.
So let's check.
It could be COVID-17, right?
Let's check this out.
keanu thompson
Oh, cool.
Great.
chrissie mayr
Oh, we can't hear him.
keanu thompson
Can you hear that?
chrissie mayr
No, we can't hear him.
Maybe he's a low talker.
keanu thompson
He's a, is a, yeah, or like a symptom of disease.
chrissie mayr
I can't imagine what he's saying.
Hello, everyone.
My name is Adam.
That is my name.
unidentified
It is definitely not hubby binajab.
And we will be rolling out a new disease immediately, if not sooner.
If this Mr. Trump does not go to jail.
keanu thompson
When does the lady come out and blow the audience?
Is what I'm wondering.
unidentified
Please leave me a five-star Uber rating.
elijah schaffer
So I don't know.
I don't know how to, if he's not playing, basically what he says is that there's this disease X and we're seeing predictors.
There's a deadly measles outbreak and that like what they're doing today, and I want to break this down for the audience.
This is really important because much of the show is a ton of fun.
The reason why I've already made even a few OnlyFans jokes, by the way, is because I have a brand new, I have a brand new censored TV special that's going on right now.
Brian, if you can bring it back on the screen, I went out and I just interviewed people randomly on the street to find out if they paid for OnlyFans or had an OnlyFans here in Australia.
And like a lot of video didn't make it in because originally I wasn't going to make it because I thought it was going to be a joke.
So I went out with a shitty camera and my phone.
Well, like 70% of people I spoke to had an OnlyFans, which was like crazy because Australia has the highest body count per capita.
I think we're going up to something like an average is 80 by 29 for girls.
And by the time they're 18, they're above 15.
So because the age of consent here is really low.
So if you're a pedophile, Australia is a great country for you because I think it's 16 is like the age of consent here or something like that.
But they so they start really young and they don't get married here.
So they just they love OnlyFans and they love being prostitutes also here.
It's like very popular.
It's like the Netherlands.
So I made a video.
It's only on censored.tv.
You can also watch it on locals.
It'll come out on Rumble and everywhere tomorrow.
But it's pretty interesting.
I was really nice to people.
There's no setups.
There's no catching or breaking.
It's just a really cool thing.
But Brian, I think from Alabama, it might be laggy, but I think he's able to bring the video up so we can hear it.
Brian, if you want to play it, let's see if they can hear the video.
unidentified
So DisneyX is a placeholder for unknown disease.
I just wanted to start by clarifying that because there is already a lot of attention.
If I may, although COVID came immediately, we were preparing for COVID-like disease.
You may even call COVID as the first disease X and it may happen again.
So it doesn't happen again.
keanu thompson
I'm really spot on Chrissy.
Accent.
elijah schaffer
Crazy that, like, I mean, this is what I want people to understand the seriousness.
And this is the point I wanted to make here: is you know, Australia is talking about preparing for a war.
The UK just told their people to prepare for a war.
Sweden told people to prepare for a war.
Is there going to be a war?
I don't know.
They're telling you to prepare for a pandemic.
Is there going to be a pandemic?
I don't know.
I just watched seven news stations in the last three weeks talk about how there might be a solar flare shortly before the U.S. election that wipes out the internet.
Will they run an EMP or claim a solar flare knocked out the internet to stop an election?
I don't know.
What I do know is they're telling us one thing.
When somebody tells you they're toxic and that everything is on the table and they have no morals and there's no line they won't cross, you should fucking believe them if you lived in 2020.
Holy shit, people, can you just fucking think for like five seconds and realize that there is nothing they will not do to stop us from gaining power or a voice in the world?
They have their plan.
They have control.
They will fucking kill you, shoot you twice in the back of the head and claim it was a suicide.
Like, I just wanted to make sure that's it.
That's my only point.
Please take this seriously, as funny as it is.
Please realize that they're going to do something again and don't fall for it because I don't want to hear another one of my fucking audience members or people that watch the show or anybody ever just tell me, you should have put on a mask.
You should get a vaccine.
No, I shouldn't have.
Fuck you.
Anyway, Chrissy.
chrissie mayr
Remember in Office Space, the restaurant that Jennifer Aniston worked at?
I think it was called Flappers or something like that.
Chachis, thank you, sir.
And you had to have a certain number of pieces of flare.
Maybe solar flare are the certain number of like little jangles that you that astronauts need to have on them before they go into space so that they can maybe have tokens to give to the aliens when they get up there.
Way that crows.
If they like you, we'll bring back something shiny like a button or a paperclip if they've taken a liking to you.
elijah schaffer
I don't want to speak over you guys, but I want to...
I want to ask you this.
I wanted to.
I, speaking of that you guys were making making fun of him for uh, for being Indian.
I don't know if you guys saw this.
Um, let me look this up real fast.
This is from uh the Babylon BE.
You know, I feel like people like the Babylon BE isn't, isn't funny that often.
Um, it's not always the funniest website because uh, quite frankly, there's just a lot of liberals that that work there, although the ceo is pretty cool, but people were really offended over the weekend because of a joke they made, uh yeah yeah yeah, with Vivek dropping out uh, so let's bring this up, Brian.
They went ahead and said, on the Babylon BE, I don't know, maybe Brian's internet went out.
Let's just bring that back up.
Uh here, there you go.
Trump promises Vivek an administration position and it has.
chrissie mayr
Laugh at this.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, I mean, it's a comedian.
So I want to know this because if you read the comments like, even Tim Young, who's a comedian right, he doesn't like perform.
Okay yeah, but he's like so.
Is the joke that Trump values him so poorly that he only sees him as a clerk of 7-eleven, or that you think he's a clerk at 7-Eleven because of a tired stereotype of Indian people?
chrissie mayr
The second one, it's all good.
unidentified
The second one because he's Indian.
Duh, they all work at 7-Eleven.
Have you been to a 7-Eleven lately?
It's run by the Indians.
Get over it.
chrissie mayr
You girls have both heard my set, 7-Eleven.
I have jokes in my set about Vivek, about literally his ethnicity, and it's just.
Sometimes the easiest, simplest joke is the one that the audience wants to hear and laughs at, and there's nothing wrong with that doesn't mean he didn't run a great campaign.
It didn't mean that Vivek didn't garner a lot of passionate supporters and he's not saying a lot of the right things.
We can still make fun of him for being brown.
Lighten up everybody.
keanu thompson
It's not only 7-Eleven, it's Dunkin' Donuts too.
And uh, right in my neighborhood Upper East Side, I go and I get a coffee from Nurse Rat or Emu every day and those are their actual names.
I did not make it up, I read them.
I'm like hello, nurse rat, they're like, get away from me, or Emu and I.
This is just what it is, and then they, they don't want to talk to me either.
But you know, this is just how it is 7-Eleven business like.
unidentified
I don't understand how we're even like talking about 2024, when 2020 was obviously stolen and we should be putting President Trump in the White House and we just we're just gonna bypass that and just go on to this next election and act like everything's hunky-dory.
It's not.
It was stolen, it was rigged, and I don't really have high hopes about this next election being fair and square.
It's not going to be so.
keanu thompson
No, they're gonna say Biden is still alive.
I truly don't know.
Is he?
chrissie mayr
He's tied up to a different system of police.
keanu thompson
What's keeping his body animated?
unidentified
That's why information.
elijah schaffer
Inside information.
unidentified
Obama.
elijah schaffer
Obama's wife actually visits Biden in the morning, bends him over and gives him the backdoor treatment every single morning.
You know, Mike is a great example.
Mike is the one behind the country.
They say it's Obama.
They say it's Obama, but who's behind Obama?
Literally?
chrissie mayr
Big Mike.
Oh.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
Big Mike.
That's true.
I thought about this, this, this comedian stuff, like you said, because I want to look at a, I want to look at something else from this, from the World Economic Forum that I thought was kind of interesting.
Let me go to the state here of modern women.
And I was realizing, you said the election was stolen, but I kind of realized why they could steal it.
A lot of people say we talk about problems and we don't discuss the reasons why.
And I don't care if you guys disagree with me on this.
Just so you guys know, don't forget we will be watching a bit of the street content from the new video that's out.
We will be watching a preview of it on the show.
You should check it out on censored TV.
And a lot of street videos are coming.
We're on a slightly offensive renaissance.
Everything is amazing.
But girls, I'm being honest.
The reason why they're able to do what they do is because people's lives are so broken.
And when people's lives are broken, when they're broken, they are so self-centered and so self-focused that they honestly are easily controllable.
And that's why you say, well, why do they want to break people down?
Why do they want you to be fat, unhealthy, depressed?
And it's simply because they know that if you are depressed or you are unhappy, that you are going to be focused on fixing your problems.
And then when they take away truth and there's no truth to believe in, then your problems never get fixed.
You go to therapy, which is gay, and I hold that true.
You go to therapist, use that as an excuse for your shitty behavior.
You never change.
And the truth of the matter is the world remains this whole self-saw story.
And I saw this video of this podcaster.
And this is literally almost every millennial.
You guys are in New York.
So you know exactly you've met this person yesterday.
Actually, this is, yeah, I don't know if you saw this.
Yeah, check this out.
It's kind of like Keanu.
unidentified
What a mouth.
chrissie mayr
It's quite a mouth.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, she's uglier though.
So don't worry, but it's, but it's, but it's, she's still like.
chrissie mayr
Reminds me of a bass my father caught on a on a fishing trip many years ago.
elijah schaffer
Hey, that's the best thing.
Always put up like, I'm not doing that to you girls today, but sometimes you could put up like the ugliest person and be like, hey, I saw this person.
It kind of looked like you.
And then like, don't say anything.
And then the guest is like, huh?
And it's like some like fucked up person on the screen.
unidentified
Okay.
elijah schaffer
Anyway, I have a bad sense.
unidentified
It did.
keanu thompson
It was like a kick in the stomach when you said that, but I love my composure.
unidentified
But I'm not fashion nagging.
elijah schaffer
You missed the beginning.
I said, I said, we're going to just poke, poke fun here.
keanu thompson
I'm teasing you.
I'm just, I'm just teasing.
It's fine.
unidentified
I don't have to pay for that.
elijah schaffer
It's not $9.99 a month to get teased by you.
By the way, we're all, I was going to say this.
Somebody was like, I remember I watched this podcast where he's like, imagine charging people $9.99 for people to access your personal life like that on OnlyFans.
I'm like, brother, you have a locals.
Like, you literally charge people $10 to access your personal life.
So I want to say this.
This woman, though, got a hard bite on this.
I do want to talk about this because this is the state of women today.
And also, I want to remind guys, every time you say the state of women, which is 100 fucking percent true, remember why women are like this.
Remember who gave them their rights?
unidentified
Remember who's, remember who built, who, who let society get like this?
chrissie mayr
They did, suckers.
elijah schaffer
So remember, and just remember that because it wasn't women who got themselves into this position.
I trust me.
I trust me.
It's not true.
chrissie mayr
I don't know if I should complain that I can't hear him because she's maybe probably more delightful muted.
elijah schaffer
I think he's muted my scotch.
Why he has my screen muted.
There you go.
Now it's good.
unidentified
All right.
elijah schaffer
One more time.
unidentified
I am 30 years old.
I'm unemployed.
chrissie mayr
Yes.
unidentified
I am living off the very end of my savings.
I switched jobs three times in the past two years.
I got dropped by the last podcast network that I was with.
I have no 401k.
I have a very small Roth IRA.
I have no desire to get married or have kids for the foreseeable future.
And the worst part is with all of this dysfunction, I'm not even famous.
I'm not even considered an it girl by New York magazine.
And more often than not, my algorithm makes me feel like I am completely irrelevant.
And I guess all that is to say that I am so not where I thought I would be at 30 years old or where I thought I should be at 30.
You know, when my life was a confusing mess at 25, as it is for so many people, I always thought to myself, just make it to 30, make it to adulthood, and you will be fine.
You will have it all figured out.
And guess what?
I'm here and I wake up most mornings going, bro, what the girl.
chrissie mayr
30 is not even that old.
This is like, we've all, everyone who's been successful at one point has been in a position like that.
No savings broke, unemployed.
Like, I can understand not wanting to have kids or get married if you're completely broke.
She's only 30.
She really could turn it around in a couple of years.
She's doing like a woe is me victim bitch struggle satch.
It's like, okay, stop complaining.
Like, just start getting your fucking life.
Go get a job.
Like, so many places are complaining.
Well, we can't find enough people to work.
We can't.
Nobody wants to work.
I don't know.
I think she's kind of like doing something that we see a lot in comedy, which is folks that kind of revel in their poverty and they kind of glamorize their struggle, which you really don't need to.
Like, she seems competent enough.
I literally, I've been doing comedy 13 years.
I have had a day job, literally, or at least two jobs up until just the last, just two years ago, was I fired for not taking the vaccine.
So I have had a full-time job and maybe another side gig on top of doing comedy and pursuing that side hustle the whole time.
There's really no excuse.
Like you can perform your, you can pursue your dreams and have some other kind of job.
So I don't have a ton of sympathy for this woman because like we all, we all did it.
And again, no one's, no one's making you pursue podcasting or get famous or whatever the fuck it is she wants to do.
And it's like, sorry, like, then, then drop out.
It's not for everybody.
unidentified
You know what, Chrissy?
I agree with you.
I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for this bitch.
Does she look like she's got, she looks like she got a straight back?
She looks like she got a strong.
She looks like she can work and live some shit.
So I don't feel bad.
And she said, oh, and I'm not even famous.
Well, congratulations.
You're on Elijah Schaefer's show.
Slightly offensive.
You're famous now.
chrissie mayr
You made it, bitch.
unidentified
You're out there and you do something with your life.
I don't feel bad for her.
And Chrissy, it's yeah, that's a perfect point.
She does.
If she really, she could get it together in a couple of years.
And that's the power of being an attractive woman.
She's not bad looking.
She's an attractive woman.
She looks like she takes care of herself.
And like I said, she looks like she's got a strong back.
So she'll be fine if she could just get it together.
And maybe this is the wake-up call she needs.
All of us just calling her out a little bit.
keanu thompson
I also have to say, when you had her frozen, she is younger than me and far prettier than me.
unidentified
So I feel probably more successful, longer hair.
keanu thompson
Like I take back what I said, but she said all of that with a big smile on her face.
She obviously has some sort of charm.
unidentified
So you'll be fine, young girl.
chrissie mayr
She's not living out of her car yet.
You know what I mean?
Like you can tell when someone's desperate.
She's not desperate yet.
She's got a few tricks up her sleeve.
elijah schaffer
I played for Kez last night and I was like, this could be you, but you have a husband who's a sexist, misogynist, racist, and he paid for all your shit.
And it was kind of the only joke was that I was trying to be funny, but I'm being serious, though.
I talked to these girls last night.
I want to bring this up.
Okay.
And this is not, Kiana, this is not a dig on you or anything because I want to play the video.
keanu thompson
Listen, I am, I am unoffendable.
You do not have to worry about me.
elijah schaffer
I don't like, I don't like it when people are being speaked.
This is genuinely the video I made.
It just so happens you're on.
And I wanted to bring this up.
This girl, she was interested in doing OnlyFans.
And I said, and I just said, okay, like I would ask people if they paid or did it.
And then the next I'd asked them like, okay, like, do you think it's a good thing?
Do you think it's like, it's just an alternative job?
Do you, why do you, and then I asked, why do you think girls do it?
And obviously, it's, I'm not a dumbass.
The reason why people said was obviously for the money.
And it's kind of fun to get the attention.
keanu thompson
I have a different, I have a different reason if you want to ask.
We'll get to it later.
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Before we get, before we get into it, no, no, no, it's really fine.
Before we get into it, I'm saying with the, with the OnlyFans thing with what we're talking about is like, I was telling them, each of the girls, that the reason why I believe OnlyFans is mostly popular.
And I would get them to ask is it's, they see that a lot of these girls are making money and it's easier than what they're doing.
Now, I'm not saying it's actually easy, but they would all admit that at the end, well, I want to do it.
It seems like an easy way to make money.
Now, that's a joke because I'm sure it actually takes a lot of work.
And also, like, it's like podcasting and stuff.
It's actually a hell of a lot of work to create a company and a brand.
But I will say, I would ask them, well, would we, would it, would maybe if girls make less on average and the best way that they can make money is through sexual agency, even if they're podcasting, they got to show some titty.
Even if they are comedians, they got to make some sex jokes.
Girls know that.
They use it to their advantage.
Then wouldn't the easiest way to use your sexual advantage be being a prostitute to your husband, having a wealthy husband, reducing the workforce by restricting immigration, taking women out of the workforce so wages go up, not shipping our jobs overseas, and then going back to a one-income household.
And all of them said, no, we don't want that.
We want the world the way it is, but we're also going to complain that women don't make enough money.
And I'm like, yeah, because that's how the fucking world is.
So you want, you want the world to be the way it was in terms of where you're taken care of and it's easy to be taken care of, but you also want the modern freedom.
It seemed like women today don't know what the fuck they want, but it shocked me.
It's just shocking to me that literally 70% of the people I randomly spoke to had an OnlyFans or had made OnlyFans content.
I didn't know it was that popular.
So that's why I want to jump to you, Keanu, because I feel like maybe I'm just out of the fucking touch.
unidentified
It's way on my boots.
keanu thompson
Yeah, I have a lot to comment on this.
First and foremost, well, okay, I'm in an I won't say I'm an anomaly.
I'm a different kind of OnlyFans gal.
I'm first and foremost comic, but I, when comedy was over for a while for me, because I just didn't know, I didn't know what the fuck to do.
I wasn't gonna, I wasn't sure what to do.
And I, my OnlyFans is very mild.
Do I, I don't recommend it for like young girls that are like, that seems easy.
I put very little effort into my OnlyFans.
If you like the chick that you see on the, on this show or the podcast or on stage or whatever, and you want to see slightly sexier pics than you see on my Instagram, then subscribe to my OnlyFans.
Where I get a little wonky with it is girls ask me all the time, like, should I start an OnlyFans?
And I say no, because it's not easy money.
I'm on there as Keanu Thompson because I already had like people that followed me, like as Keanu.
It's not like I'm just like, okay, it's me fucking somebody on there.
I don't, I don't recommend that, especially if you don't know what you're getting into.
Leave the porn to the real porn people.
unidentified
You shouldn't be walking down the street in Australia.
keanu thompson
And one and every person is like, well, yes, I have an OnlyFans and I'm just, well, I just like bone somebody.
I don't, I don't think that's the best idea.
Mine is, it's a different thing.
But again, maybe every other person that you ran into Australia into on your like little walk along, maybe they were doing something else on OnlyFans.
You never know.
You can put whatever you want on there.
But no, it's not, it's, it would be much easier, yes, to just go and like find a rich husband if you were, if you're pretty, but, but, but I, there's, there's ups and downs to it.
I, I don't mind sex work, but not you got to really be, you got to really know what you're doing, I think.
chrissie mayr
Um, I think these women are this way because even if you get a rich husband, like unfortunately, there's no guarantee that he will stick around.
So what might feel like security and you're being like set for life and you're being taken care of, I don't know if it's just the effects of modern feminism or just social media or people have the more successful a man is, the more options he's going to have.
So I think a lot of women, even if they find or marry a rich guy and they think, oh, I'm set for life, like there's always the chance like he could upgrade to a new model.
And then you're out on your ass and you're like, fuck, I wish I had some sort of income all these years or some skill set instead of having like, now I have this huge lapse in my resume where I was a stay-at-home mom and wife.
And, but now I'm screwed, you know, for when the inevitable cheating or divorce happens.
I know that's very black pilled, but I think a lot of women, not that they want it both ways, but they're a lot of women are afraid.
And you feel like you have to prepare for the worst case scenario, which is you have to provide for yourself.
Like no one's really going to rescue you.
The whole being scooped up by a rich guy is only something that I think is available to a small percentage of women.
I think the average woman is not like either good looking or in a position enough to like meet a guy that could make enough money so that she wouldn't have to work.
keanu thompson
And I think too, yeah, I mean, it's just not, it's not for, it's just, it's not for every single person.
There's something invigorating and like freeing about having an OnlyFans or whatever, but it's just the same thing as Instagram for some people.
Post.
How many Instagram influencers post like sexy pictures of their asses all the time?
There's nothing wrong with it.
You may as well get like paid for it if you want to, but don't do it as a means to like, I have to do this so I can like support myself.
unidentified
I think I would add to your point, Keanu.
Every woman on the internet, okay, every single woman on the internet, you are an OnlyFans worker, okay?
There is a guy right now jacking off to this right here.
You can have an OnlyFans or you can have an OnlyFan called a husband who will provide for you.
So it's your choice, ladies.
And also, I think women, we need to realize that we are the prize.
So you should start acting like it, you know, and value yourself.
And like, you know, it's like, if that's something you want to do, then go ahead and do it.
But at the end of the day, if you're on the internet, you're somebody's jacking off to this.
keanu thompson
Lila, exactly.
chrissie mayr
I hope they are.
Exactly.
unidentified
Somebody's jacking off.
chrissie mayr
Wildheart, you're ableist.
keanu thompson
I was saying, no, no, no, exactly.
But there's a, I've said it once, I'll say it again.
I don't care if you're reading the Bible on the internet.
The people that are reading along with you, there are some of them, their pages are stuck together because they are dudes and they're, they are looking at you.
If you're an attractive, if somebody is attractive to anybody, if you're on the internet, it doesn't matter what the fuck you're doing.
It does not matter.
So if I'm a comic and I'm putting, you know, sexier pictures on an OnlyFans and people are giving me money for it, that to me is fine.
I'm engaged.
I have like a, I have like a, I'm going to be married.
He doesn't care.
If he doesn't care, I don't care.
Will I walk down the aisle with an OnlyFans?
Probably not, but it's okay for now.
Just as long as you're comfortable with whatever you're doing.
elijah schaffer
Oh, man.
This conversation wants me to makes me want to fucking kill myself.
Oh, I do not know.
I do not know if you know how you guys sounded.
That was the most female.
chrissie mayr
Ask what we thought.
unidentified
Yeah, I know.
That's the beauty of it, Elijah.
elijah schaffer
Hey, it's like big birth mistake, asking females their opinion.
Second mistake.
No, I actually find that was brain bleed, but I get what you're saying, though, too, because I was joking with someone.
Someone said, what's your worldview?
And I said, my, my worldview is something called liberal fascism.
So like, I'm not a conservative.
I'm like a fascist, but I'm also have a liberal personality in terms of I'm actually in terms of like, you know, you can do what you want behind the privacy of your closed doors, but if you take it outside of the closed doors, we'll execute you.
So I'm like severe and I'm like severely gracious, but severe at the same time, where I think that in a society, like my wife thinks everything should be illegal.
Like Kez just says homosexuality should be illegal and we should execute gay people.
And that's where what Kez believes.
And I think it's great because she's very, very protective of our son and she's really, really a good mom.
And Chrissy, if you don't become that way, every man, you should probably want to execute the tries to get near your kids.
You know what I mean?
Like it's a very motherly thing.
I happen to just be from Los Angeles and I don't play to my audience.
So I don't like pretend to be more conservative than I am and like try to win points.
So I'm accustomed to living around people that think differently.
I've always mentioned Andy know as a journalist.
He's gay.
It doesn't cause any weirdness between our friendship or our working relationship.
chrissie mayr
He's gay.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, because he's not a faggot.
That's what I mean.
He's not.
Well, he's gay, but he's not like, he's not.
chrissie mayr
Wow.
He's hiding so well.
elijah schaffer
Correct, but he's open about it.
So I'm not like outing him or anything.
I mean, he's open about it.
I just think that like we've like, if we, if we enforce, like, I like what I really like what Qatari, Royal, Royal Prince said when he was on the media.
And I share a lot of views with the Qatari fundamental leadership.
Cause, you know, those guys, as much as they claim they're like Islamic fundamentalists, you know, they're fucking wild, right?
unidentified
I mean, you see.
chrissie mayr
ever play Katar Hero?
It's there's not as many good songs on it.
unidentified
There are a lot of ethnic sounding, but you had gay people with your with your with your blade, but it's like Katar Hero.
elijah schaffer
No, I was gonna say, I liked what he said when the artist was like, oh, so you guys would, you know, put a jailman, jail men for making out with each other in public.
And he's like, we would jail a man and a woman for making out in public too.
We have decency laws and we enforce the decency.
keanu thompson
What about a woman and a woman?
elijah schaffer
Yeah, they would publicly.
keanu thompson
You put them up on a pedestal and you jerk off around them.
All men around the world would, please.
elijah schaffer
No, I'm saying, I'm saying genuinely, genuinely about that their laws, like public decency laws are important.
And if you think about this, like half the gay shit people are mad about in our country is because they're just not enforcing decency laws.
Like you have laws against being nude in front of children.
And if you just enforce those fucking laws, then those products would be illegal.
So like I, you know, if people in California, if they behind closed doors, I'm not going to go raid their home.
I don't know what they're doing.
I don't think that's a good use of resources.
But if you're going to go pull your cock out in front of kids, then yeah, I think you should be fucking executed for being a fucking, you know, for being a predator on a child.
And so like, I just have a weird worldview on that.
But I also mean in general, like, I know the world is a different place.
I know the world is a weird place.
I know the world is a hard place to survive.
And sometimes people survive by getting people hard.
So, you know, it's the profession in the book and I get it.
So I leave it at that.
I want to give a shout out to our last sponsor of today before we go into this because I don't mind us disagreeing on this.
Let's talk about Undertak boxers.
Speaking of this, Undertak is an amazing company because of number one, they make the best boxers in America, which are made with Modal, which is like cotton and steroids.
It's perfectly breathable.
Guys, let's just be honest.
Like if a girl sleeps in your bed, you don't wash your sheets.
If another guy sleeps in your bed, hopefully you do wash your sheets and hopefully there's a good reason why he was in your bed.
But I want to say one of the main reasons is because we have testosterone.
We sweat, right?
We smell.
And one of the embarrassing things is odor and wetness.
And someone like me, like I just sweat a lot and I'm just open about it.
So I need boxers who are going to aerate my family jewels because actually heat is really bad to keep in your balls.
It your sperm count.
This is really true.
Lower your sperm count.
So you need breathable underwear or wear no underwear.
So I even rotate and half the days I don't even wear underwear and half the days I wear my undertacks.
Now, they don't ride up, which is really important.
I don't like wearing them since they don't ride up.
I don't like the waistband is nice because I go up and down like probably like the girls on the show.
I'm always going up and down five or 10 pounds, depending on what life brought at me.
So I don't like when the elasticity, you know, gets loose when you're fatter and it doesn't shrink with you.
Plus, they are battle forces tested.
And as I mentioned, someone messaged me.
They had been using them in the field for like a year and a half in the literal military.
It got a hole and they were like, I thought these were battle forces tested.
And I was like, how long have you been wearing?
And they're like, over a year all the time.
I was like, so you've been wearing these for over a year in the battlefield and they barely started to wear down.
That's pretty fucking good because I've had mine for years and I haven't worn them in war yet.
And so they haven't worn down at all.
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So make sure that you stick around and you check out the new copy and get your pair stay while you can 20% off.
They're more than a third less than the competition and better quality undertack.com.
All right, I'm joined in the studio by my guests today.
You've got to check out their show that's coming up in Dallas.
I'll let them plug it.
We have Chrissy Mayer, Lila Hart, and Keanu.
We were just talking about, you know, as typical on the show, only fans, masturbation and the Qatari government beheading days.
Very, very culture, uh.
By the way, I think uh Lila, you guys, are you guys all on the show together or what's what's going on?
Yes, please plug that now, because people got to go to that.
It is funny that the club is good, the drinks are flowing and you guys should support, support your girls, go out there, support the fun.
And also, if you're kind of a low-key uh person just looking to meet friends, They will tell you right here that you can meet a lot of cool fellow people who aren't offended easily and who don't, you know, fucking, you know, you don't have to use their pronouns.
unidentified
These people like to make jokes.
elijah schaffer
So Lila, how can they, how can they support you guys there this next week?
unidentified
We'll be at Hyenas in Dallas, January 25th.
Chrissy will be headlighting and me and Tiani will be featuring.
Come out, get your tickets at chrissymayer.com.
Can't wait to see y'all.
All right.
elijah schaffer
And Kenny, you're going to be there too.
Who's the opener?
Are you guys, is it just all three of you guys are the opener or who's the, what's the, what's the one?
chrissie mayr
Figure that out.
We like usually alternate some like sometimes Keanu will host and Lila will feature.
Sometimes Lila hosts and Keanu features.
It's really like all about the same time-wise, but it's a hoot.
And Hyenas Dallas is where we had our kind of viral heckler moment back in May with the land whales and the Dylan Mulvaney comments that the Daily Mail ran with and Newsweek and New York Post.
So we're hoping to have another viral moment.
Hopefully, who knows?
Maybe I'm going to, I'm going to book my flight soon and I'm just going to, I hope it could be like an Uber where you can like, you know, you can check off.
It says like, I don't, I want it cool temperature and no talking.
I think when we book flights, we should be allowed to be like, can I have a white pilot, please?
The oldest, whitest, straightest pilot you can find.
That would be nice.
So we'll just, we're just going to try to make it there in one piece.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, one piece.
I do want to remind you guys too, on a good note, you can now see super chats.
Brian just set that up.
We put the links in the chat now.
You can see super chats.
Believe it or not, the show's been demonetized for a long time.
And I think we're one of the only shows that has survived demonetization and grown despite being demonetized.
So I appreciate your guys' support.
We are just talking about the world and we're allowed to disagree.
I don't like things being mean-spirited, but I want to watch a couple more videos that we can all agree on here, something that we can kind of come together on instead of coming on each other, which is not what I'm trying to do now.
Now, one of the things that I want to talk about, if I can get my thing to load, is the idea of DIY and a lot of the things going on here with women pilots and women.
Now, we were talking about sex, so I'm going to transition to that with a clip that was put out on a podcast and we're going to play it.
And I just want to get your girls' opinions on this.
Because this is a show where you can speak your mind.
Do you think that this is normal?
Do you think this is pretty standard?
I'm from LA.
This is how women are.
Trust me.
This is really how they are in LA.
New York too.
This is a weird video.
All right.
Let's watch it.
And then we'll go to Keanu and we'll just give our opinions on this one right here.
unidentified
One time I went and had an Uber pick me up.
He was super hot.
So I was like, hey, like, do you want to have sex?
And he pulled over and he's like, totally, right?
So he sucked, right?
He sucked.
He was scared.
So I got out of the vehicle and then I complained and was like, so I wouldn't have to pay.
So then this other Uber driver pulls up and then I tell him about the experience.
And I'm like, I just fucked my last Uber driver and he was so shitty.
You know, I had to cancel.
I had to say like some bullshit happened, you know, so I didn't have to pay.
And this guy's like, okay, cool.
Like, well, do you want to like give me a blowjob?
And I was like, okay, sure, why not?
And then I give him a blowjob all the way from LA to Huntington Beach.
It was a really fucking long time.
Like an hour for a long time.
Yeah, it was a long blowjob.
It was a long blowjob.
And then I got out of the car and he's like, don't worry, I won't charge you.
And then the motherfucking charged me.
No.
That was the last time I fucked an Uber driver.
I was like, y'all fuckers.
What ruined it?
What were you getting?
All right.
elijah schaffer
So I think we're there.
Girls, like, this was the idea.
This is a podcast.
I don't think everyone should be podcasting.
This is pretty sad, actually.
But they're just saying, like, the state of things.
These girls are just giving sex and blowjobs to people for free rides.
Like, an Uber is like $60.
unidentified
Maybe I'm wrong.
elijah schaffer
Maybe it's $80 now.
Is really, is your, is this normal?
Am I, am I out of time?
keanu thompson
No, that was incredibly untoward.
And that was a lot.
Yeah.
I don't.
chrissie mayr
It's possible that they were making it up, but yeah, these women don't seem particularly clever or funny or improvisationally inclined.
Yeah, the whole time I'm just thinking, like, she is way too pretty to be just blowing.
I don't think I've ever had an attractive Uber driver.
unidentified
So she didn't say he was attractive.
She didn't even describe the way this man looked.
And also, she got charged.
She was charged to do that.
She paid to do that.
She paid him for that.
Right.
And this is this is deeply disturbing.
keanu thompson
Exactly.
unidentified
This ain't quite disturbing.
chrissie mayr
Paid to blow an Uber driver.
unidentified
And then pay for the Uber.
And then pay for the Uber.
That's like an hour-long ride.
How long was she down there?
keanu thompson
First of all, it's not safe.
Number one.
Number two.
unidentified
Yeah.
chrissie mayr
Was he an XL or was he a regular Uber?
Do you know what I mean?
Like, what is he working with down there?
unidentified
See, this is why we're, this is why we're messed up as society because we have women out here doing this shit.
Okay.
And then it doesn't make any sense because it's like, we need to not be doing this stuff for free.
It's, it's, it's making things off balance.
chrissie mayr
Right.
Because men watch that.
They see this really beautiful woman, like, wow, I can get a beautiful woman to blow me for free or like blow me in an Uber.
And it's like, that's not a good expectation to set for the rest of us who at least want a large buy a large Greek salad first.
And I'll think about it.
keanu thompson
Well, I hope she didn't leave a tip.
My God.
chrissie mayr
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
I want to play this real fast.
Let me see if I can get this to play.
It might be a little bit lower quality than I'd like, but let's go ahead and excited about us.
I want to play this here.
Let me see if I can get this up.
I want to play a little bit of this video, the new street video of people in Australia.
We'll play about half of it.
We can watch it.
This is my new video on CensoreTV.
You can check it out in the corner there: censored.tv promo code offensive.
You can watch this video.
I want us to play this.
We're all sit here.
If girls, if you need to take a bathroom break or whatever, this would be your time on the stream because we'll play it for about five or six minutes and then we'll come back.
So, girls, you got five minutes on the clock.
Let's watch this.
chrissie mayr
I've already peed twice
unidentified
I've already peed twice Like for shadow pussy, then I get it.
I've made about four grand in a month.
The cameraman is so old!
My parents are lesbians.
How do you do dinner?
Early fans?
If you got a big pair of tits, shake them for that money.
I'd be fucking doing it if I was a shell.
That's all I've got to say.
Catch your light off.
Catch you later.
And that's you heard it a wonderful lossy gentleman with a good mind.
Sorry, my name is Elijah Schaefer, and this is another episode, slightly offensive.
elijah schaffer
We're here on the streets of Fortitude Valley.
unidentified
We got the drunks, the punks, the homeless, and everybody who's out there.
elijah schaffer
We're talking to people today about OnlyFans.
unidentified
My name's Aurora Osnick, and I'm just out here to have a good time.
elijah schaffer
Have you ever made content for OnlyFans or ever paid for it?
unidentified
I've made content, yes.
I have made it only yet, but I deleted it for two weeks.
But I have paid for an OnlyFans.
Have you ever paid for OnlyFans or have you ever made content for OnlyFans?
Never.
Yes, and yes.
I make content.
elijah schaffer
Is that your main source of income?
unidentified
No.
I'm a teacher.
elijah schaffer
Have you ever paid for any access to OnlyFans?
Or have you ever made any content on OnlyFans?
unidentified
No.
elijah schaffer
What kind of pictures or videos did you put up?
unidentified
Not my full ass, like, noobs, but just like shit you actually see on Instagram.
elijah schaffer
Did people pay for it?
unidentified
Yes, yes.
We made money.
elijah schaffer
What's the most you made in a month?
unidentified
I've made about four grand in a month.
Really?
elijah schaffer
And is that average or what's the lowest you made?
unidentified
So that's about average.
How much have you spent on OnlyFans?
Oh, I think it translated to like $20 a week.
How much money did you make?
Like $600 in like two days.
I made $2,000 in two weeks.
elijah schaffer
Is that good money for you?
unidentified
Yes.
I realize, yes.
Did you say that's good money for you?
elijah schaffer
No.
unidentified
So what's the most money in a month from doing OnlyFans?
Oh.
I think only a grand so far.
I don't feel the need to make an OnlyFans.
Not only like, I guess, personal insecurities, but like, I mean, and I don't feel the need to like OnlyFans is a summer guy I'd be interested in buying.
I don't do it anymore.
I don't do it anymore.
I subscribe.
It's a really good way to, what is it?
Make like daily content.
So just like whatever you want, but then also make your extra money doing on demand.
Okay, so I've got this one regular guy who likes to like he likes to call me for 45 minutes, no, 45 seconds.
And he's like, tell me I have a small dick.
That's all I do.
And he just gives me like 40 bucks.
elijah schaffer
What's your pronouns?
unidentified
They, them.
I'm he, him.
Anything you want, darling.
I do kind of regret it, but at the same time, I don't give a fuck.
elijah schaffer
What if your dad saw that?
unidentified
I don't actually know my dad.
I don't even know his name.
So if he paid for it, he's just paying child support.
I still have a relationship with my mother, but not really my father.
I was raised in a queer environment.
My parents are lesbians.
And so.
All right.
elijah schaffer
I'm going to leave it there on that one.
But it was interesting.
It turns out none of them had relationships with their fathers.
And that was the real thing.
I asked everybody who did porn what their relationships were with their dads or had pronouns or anything.
But the girls who didn't do it did know their dads.
And then that one, the one girl says that her dad supports, one of the girls said her dad supports her.
And I said, that's weird and kind of sad.
I just make it.
Why does he support porn?
You should just keep that from him.
Don't tell him that.
But it was weird because to me, like, people have to know this about me.
I'm not this, I don't run a trad conservative show.
I'm not conservative.
I do run in those circles because I just have worked for a conservative network.
But I'm also, like I said, I'm born and raised in LA.
I'm from Hollywood.
You know, this is my life.
And so, and now it's like, what?
I'm in Australia, which is like the most liberal, godless society ever.
But I still understand truth.
And I also know that life's confusing, right?
And if you don't completely fuck up your life a few times or go down a couple of regrettable paths, you probably aren't trying to live because you're trying to figure out what is truth.
What is the best path for you?
But what kind of made me made me sad about this, again, you can watch the rest of this at censored.tv, use my promo code offensive for 20% off.
But the sad part, girls, is like, I kind of want, that's what I wanted to bring up.
Kiano, this might be super personal and you don't have to answer this.
But like, but I, but I, but I, okay, but I was, I was kind of wondering, you know, in your personal opinions, they didn't go first for porn in our culture.
They didn't go first for, you know, feminism.
They first went for the family, right?
And they've been going for the family for a long time.
And what it seems like is that a lot of people that are doing these things or have strange aspects to their life that are obscure, we can mock them, but it seems like they come back from broken families.
At this point, their families were broken as well.
And it looks like a lot of issues in our society or things that people think are bad directions we're going with.
The only common denominator I can find, you could say it's, oh, God is not into it or Jews.
Maybe those are both true, but also it's like, look, I think more practically speaking, it's probably these broken families.
And yeah, you can connect that with abandoning God.
You can connect that with Zionist subversion.
You can say whatever you want.
I don't really care.
But all I know is I knew a lot of porn people I still do.
And a lot of them don't have good relationships with their dad.
Is that a thing?
Do you see that in the media world?
Is that a real thing with women who are out there working or selling their bodies?
Like, I don't know.
And you guys might know.
keanu thompson
Elijah, I tend to agree with you.
I myself am an anomaly.
Okay.
I completely, and when I look at the people that we just saw in this video, you have to realize too, number one, my OnlyFans is very mild.
You could go on OnlyFans and do a cooking stream if you wanted to.
I don't do that on my OnlyFans.
I do on my YouTube, but like mine is very mild.
Number two, I'm an anomaly again.
My parents don't care at all.
I am best friends with my parents.
I grew up nothing of that sort.
I am so close with my family.
They think like, whatever you want to do is cool with us.
And it's just another thing.
I'm a comedian first.
Then this is just an added thing that I don't do as often as you would think that I do.
I don't make as I'm not like one of the influencer people.
When I see what you just, what we just witnessed there, broken families, the porn industry, like a lot of women getting into it when they shouldn't.
I find that terrible.
That's awful.
You should never do anything like OnlyFans or porn because you have to, in my opinion.
If that's the case, then if that's the case, then yeah, something is broken with your family or in you or whatever.
And we need to maybe reach out and help.
But that's, I'm, again, an anomaly.
And I, everybody needs to just either be, you really need to know what you're getting into.
I don't knock sex workers or, you know, people in the porn industry or anything like that.
But it tends to come with a lot of, it comes with like a bad past or a mental illness or a broken family.
Or if you're not that way when you start, then you could get that way when it's all said and done.
So I tend to agree with you.
unidentified
I find it interesting how everybody was just like so openly talking about it.
Also, Elijah, it was super funny when the girl was like, you asked her, like, was that a lot of money for you?
And she's like, yeah, isn't that a lot of money for you?
And you're like, not so much.
That was funny.
But I find it fascinating how in our culture now, people are just so open with talking about this.
Like it's shifted so much.
Like, do you guys remember in high school?
I remember when I was in high school, a girl's like nude picture got like sent around and it was like this huge big deal.
And it was like, oh my God, this like shocking thing.
And now I just feel like it's become sort so normalized, which is, it's a, it's a very interesting shift in the culture.
keanu thompson
But and see, like that for me, like, cause I have like big assholes, like, you know, just send naked pictures of me all the time that are stolen or just, just to be a jerk.
You know what I mean?
unidentified
But that's stolen content for me now.
keanu thompson
What's up?
But is that like they stole that content from well, the way, and this is, this is when I first started OnlyFans too.
Like I, I had to kind of learn like what I like wanted to do and I just was kind of just going with it.
But I've always said my mom and dad don't care.
Everybody has the same stuff.
To me, do I care?
Is that nice?
No.
But am I, I, am I being railed by somebody on OnlyFans?
No.
I suppose if somebody, if I were and that got out, but if you see like a slight bit of nipple from six years ago, I, I, I'm like, whatever.
You've seen Kate Winslet's tits too.
Okay.
Like, I don't give a fuck, but we're desensitized to it.
But again, I have a very supportive family.
I have a very like, I know who I am.
unidentified
Well, you're a stand-up comedian first.
And I think that's kind of what makes you angry.
Right.
keanu thompson
I don't make a fuck ton of money from OnlyFans.
If you look at these women, just because I was like, whatever.
chrissie mayr
Look at the women.
Women in the vase in this video that we all just watched.
Like, you can tell they're, they're, it's like a paper route.
They're just doing it because it's easy.
It's easier than sending out resumes.
It's easier than fitting into a blazer.
It's easier than like practicing your elevator speech.
It's easier than going back and getting finishing a degree or getting a bachelor's or getting a fucking master's.
Like they're always saying it's money.
Whereas Keanu is different.
She, it's just an accessory to her, to her comedy career, basically, at this point.
It's, it's not the end all be all for her.
keanu thompson
It truly is.
unidentified
Yeah.
keanu thompson
It's just like something.
And like, again, I'm engaged.
And if he doesn't mind, then I'm okay with it.
But again, like, no, am I going to walk down the aisle with an OnlyFans?
Probably not.
elijah schaffer
Real fast, girl.
I can't.
Normally, if we were in the studio, I'd be speaking a little differently.
I apologize.
It's even hard for me to still get used to doing online interviews because, again, my mic cuts out when you guys talk.
So I try to hold myself there.
I mean this is a genuinely from my heart here.
Cause I know people get really concerned on both sides of this topic, right?
A lot of people become very pro and a lot of people become very anti.
But I want to come from a human perspective and I want to come from a Christian perspective here.
Like I am no saint, right?
And I, you know, and I've been a degenerate a lot, a lot of time in my life.
And I am in no position to ever be, you know, condemning anyone for their choices because, you know, I know God condemns.
I know the Bible does say we can judge.
So it's not that we can't judge, but I also understand the total confusion, right?
I mean, like that guy that we listened to in the video says he was raised in a queer household by lesbian parents.
Regardless of what anybody thinks, objectively, you are going to have a fucked up life probably in terms of morality or Christian morality if you're raised that way.
And it's going to be tough to get out.
That's really confusing when you essentially have lived in a dogmatic life towards LGBTQ and queerness.
Now, the same thing goes when you're molested, right?
I always tell people in LA, I have more friends who are molested than were not.
So a lot, a lot of people, you know, like cities like LA that get molested a lot, that's also really hard too, to work through that.
And it's hard to develop a balanced sexuality when you were raped as a child.
And so you have to understand the human level of why people are the way they are and know that like, yeah, maybe a girl becomes a lesbian and hates men because she was raped by her uncle when she was a child.
Maybe a guy becomes gay because he was molested and it confused him.
Like, so I'm not just coming out and condemning people and going, oh, you're all just trying to be evil and you're trying to do wrong and you're intentionally trying, you know, you're selling your pussy because you want to screw people over.
But because I've been degenerate and because I always say that I have a conservative mind and a liberal personality, I also recognize truth.
And there's a lot of things I would want to do.
Like I would want to go out and party.
I actually don't want to do this stuff anymore.
unidentified
I'll be completely honest.
elijah schaffer
One of the key things is you stop wanting to do this stuff.
But it's really easy for me to go rail lines of Coke.
Okay.
That's like super easy for me to do.
We could be, I could throw a couple.
unidentified
You haven't?
elijah schaffer
Of course I've ripped lines.
unidentified
I didn't even.
chrissie mayr
I'm doing one every time I'm off camera.
unidentified
I know.
What do you mean?
elijah schaffer
I haven't done drugs in a long time.
But I'm saying, like, I'm not weird about this.
I'm not a moral high person where I'm like, oh, I'm better than everyone.
I mean, I'm saying this.
I've slammed tons of lines in my life.
I'm from, again, from LA.
We fucking slam lines.
But so my point is that, but the difference is, is I know objectively that the lines are not good for me.
I know that it's not good to do Coke.
I've never had a Coke habit.
I'm already high on life, but I know Coke isn't good.
And I'm definitely not going to promote people to do it.
And there's a good difference between not condemning or not understanding if your friend has a Coke habit or someone does drugs, you get it, but you never try to normalize it or cope with it.
And a lot of times I see people on podcasts trying to, what they're saying to me is, I know what I'm doing isn't good or the best for me, but it's my fucking life and I don't know how to change or I can't undo what I've done.
And I have to carry this for my life.
So I'm going to try to normalize this.
And it's like a fat person making fat jokes about themselves so that, so nobody else makes fun of them first and they get control of their own shame.
To me, I got rid of the shame rather than normalizing things in my life.
I just came to a conclusion.
Look, I'm kind of fucked up.
And a lot of people might identify at this.
I'm kind of fucked up.
I'm not, I'm far from perfect.
I've made a lot of mistakes.
Things happened to me when I was a kid.
I've suffered through issues of abuse, different things in my life.
It's made me in a way a bit of a free spirit and whatever.
But at the same time, I read the Bible.
I start learning truth.
I start seeing society.
I start studying history, Western civilization.
I go, I cannot be, I cannot bleach my hair.
So I stop bleaching my hair.
I take out my nose ring.
I take out my plugs.
I stop buying clothes that are too tight.
Stop buying.
keanu thompson
You definitely did Coke back in the day for sure.
unidentified
Those are just.
chrissie mayr
But it's now you get so much done.
unidentified
Wait, okay.
keanu thompson
And so when you say you're a degenerate, was it just the Coke thing or?
elijah schaffer
I fucked around.
I almost got into porn.
I almost started making porn, actually.
I didn't start filming porn.
I actually started filming porn like three times because I'm not going to say who, but two.
My first producer was a porn producer and also produced my show.
And then several of my friends were in porn and or produced porn in LA because it's North LA.
And that's what it was.
This was straight porn.
But it's legitimately, well, I mean, somebody even say the gay porn people are straight too, because they're all.
keanu thompson
The gay ones, I think they make more money, the straight men and gay porn.
I'm just wondering.
elijah schaffer
I'm saying, so I'm not, I'm just going to end with this.
I cannot, I would not condemn someone because I grew up in confusion and I know what it's like to be in an area and to be confused.
And I know what it's like to go down paths and not like now I look back and when you realize the severity of the decisions you've made, it could be easy for me to just be like, well, it's socially acceptable.
So I'm going to accept it.
But instead, I'm like hard on myself to try to reach standards that I know are more difficult for me.
Even than an atheist, there's atheists who just have personalities to just do what's kind of good and right.
So for someone like me who's made the mistakes, who's been down the path, who's done this, it's fucking hard to do what's right and transform.
But that's why I have God, because then I cast my shame and guilt and burdens upon him.
I don't have to carry the pain and the guilt of my decisions.
I have responsibility for them still.
And I still know I have the consequences.
I can't shake those off.
I hate when people do that.
Well, I'm safe now.
unidentified
No, you cats went down.
elijah schaffer
But at the same time, it gives me a free spirit.
And so I was saying, I just get nervous on podcasts like that girl.
I hear her coping that like she obviously knows it's kind of fucked up what she did.
And instead of just being like, hey, actually, I've been pretty fucked up sexually.
And here's a story.
It's like everyone's got to laugh and act like it's normal because they're fucked up too.
And we all start trying to like normalize fucked up shit because we feel guilty about ourselves.
keanu thompson
And I'll just say that an insanely fucked up video, that woman with the Uber driver.
That wasn't Amy Schumer comedy, like, I finger, I got fingered by an Uber driver.
She was like, no, I blew him for a free ride and he didn't give me one.
Not cute, not funny.
unidentified
No.
I think the part that makes that video the most fucked up is the fact that it seems like this is how she's continuing to live her life and thinks that it's completely normal.
And the girls around her are also laughing like, yeah, this is just what we do.
And it's, it's normal.
And there's not really like a story of what Elijah's talking about of like, hey, this is what I went through.
It was fucked up.
And I've made a change.
You know, I think we kind of all want that hero's journey.
But I will say, Elijah, I really love the way that you interview these people.
I thought you were super respectful.
I like the super tall woman that you talked to.
That was very fascinating.
Maybe because I'm 4'6 and I'm like, oh, I would love to be that tall.
But I thought it was very interesting to see how.
chrissie mayr
That was Larry Bird, Lila.
unidentified
It was interesting to see how the people had different answers for it and different kind of personalities.
For the very tall woman, I felt like, you know, the way that she came off with it, it was a little bit more respectable, you know, whereas the other women that was like, ah, it sounded like drunk and they're just, you know, doing it to do it.
It came off bizarre.
And then, of course, you had the three A thems who had the family issues.
But yeah, you know, we live in a very messed up world and we're all just doing the best that we can with the traumas that we have and the fucked up childhoods that we all have.
And, you know, I think just like you said, Elijah, you have to take a look, look at yourself and your own life and like, okay, what can I do to better myself so I can put out this good positive energy in the world?
Am I drinking too much?
Am I doing too many drugs?
Like, do I need to cut this out of my life completely so that I can be the best version of me?
And you can only learn that through going through this fucked up stuff.
And, you know, it's through having conversations like this, where we're being able to speak our minds and speak freely and not being judgmental that we can actually make change in the world.
chrissie mayr
I enjoyed the three them sketchers.
unidentified
Oh, there's so much more to there's you know what?
elijah schaffer
Actually, one of my goals is when I get back to the U.S., like, you know how podcasts, which I can totally, I'm going to pull this off too.
Um, by the way, it might even be in New York when I do it.
So maybe you girls can come around because I, my goal is, is to create a podcast like that, like street style stuff, but bring in people after street interviews, get their numbers, kind of like whatever, fresh and fit, but not like not do it men versus women, doing it just more like conservative versus woke, and that it's like going to the streets and asking the reasonable people and the unreasonable people, the confusing onto like a table and like kind of just having a discussion, like live discussion in person.
Because obviously on the internet, it's not fun, but in person, it's fun.
Plus blood sports.
And then if there's a disagreement, perhaps having a ring set up.
And in the end, if people start fighting, you give them a chance if they want to fight it out and the winner gets 500 bucks.
So you have actual fist fights on the show.
It'd be so fun.
It's like, hey, you want to beat this out?
Winner gets 500 bucks and have people beat the shit out of each other over dumb stuff.
unidentified
Anyway, to the death.
elijah schaffer
I just wanted to bring that round about just because it's definitely, it's definitely my heart doesn't come from a place of condemnation.
Someone like Chrissy, who I've known for a very long time or Lila, know, I mean, as much as I'm crass or vulgar or whatever, and I have a fucked up sense of humor.
It's like, the reality is, is we all fall, we all sin and we all fall short of the glory of God, Romans 723.
But it is by grace that we are saved, right?
It's by faith.
And that faith in God obviously does inspire works, but you do get confused and you do sometimes go down bad paths.
People die in your family.
Sometimes you get an accident.
You could be doing great today.
You have a fiancé and your fiancé dies.
You yourself could die.
keanu thompson
Well, he is 24 years older than me.
So I'm banking on that.
elijah schaffer
So that's my point is like, is like, that's why I don't want to take the human element out.
And I know there's people on Twitter that are just like, be Catholic, or just like, shut up, whore.
And I think, go ahead, keep saying that.
It's funny.
But also, also, also at the same time, on a real level, when the fact that I know people and I've seen people, and I got to say this, I've watched a lot of people in this industry start out as dirty STD whores.
I've had friends who are porn producers and I've watched people.
keanu thompson
I never had an SCD, by the way.
Anybody?
unidentified
No, we started from the bottom.
Now we're here.
keanu thompson
Now we're stores.
elijah schaffer
That's, yeah, that's not, that's even worse.
But all I was going to say is I've seen people's lives transform.
And the reality is, is a lot of the, a lot of times when you see people's lives transform, it reminds you to like when Jesus went with the prostitutes or the tax collectors.
A lot of times it's easy to condemn people who are fucked up.
But when you really talk to them, they don't want to be.
They don't like it.
And you, I'm going to be serious here.
This is, this is speaking to some of you guys in here that are hardcore that I love, but I want to warn you not to be a Pharisee and not to be the person that Jesus condemned as well.
It's like, there are evil people who are in the world, but a lot of people don't attribute, as they say, to malice, what's ignorance.
A lot of people, like, like we talked about, are important because they had a fucked up life and they're trying to survive and they get sucked in.
People don't usually get onto drugs because they're happy.
People don't become alcoholics.
They end there because they're sad.
And if you talk to any alcoholic, they want out.
They don't know how to get out.
So part of our job to just tell people, shut up, you fucking sinner.
Shut up, you alcoholic.
Shut up, you whore.
It's like, hey, do you know there's a way out of this?
Do you know that you don't have to live like this?
And do you know that there's a path?
And I'm not perfect, but I'm on that journey.
Do you want to join me?
And like, don't forget to like preach Jesus and preach healing and preach redemption and preach forgiveness because a lot of the internet is just condemnation and there's no way out and it's not helping.
keanu thompson
I agree with you there.
What my parents taught me was, and I take this to my grave.
If you're whatever, whoever you are, whatever religion, black, white, religion, if you believe, don't believe, you take people one-on-one because we're all shades of gray.
So I agree that there is a lot of that with what you're saying.
Yes, just come with me.
But it's not always that.
And I hate when women are in porn and they don't want to be and they feel like it is a necessity.
So I agree with you.
And then I go like, well, it's not always the case with everybody.
unidentified
That's all.
keanu thompson
And you can do a line every now and again.
elijah schaffer
I don't need it, dude.
unidentified
I should.
elijah schaffer
Coke calms me down, actually.
chrissie mayr
No, you're right.
There is a ton of shame going on online and these insanely high standards.
And I tend to find time and time again, the people who shame the most, the people who virtue signal the most, it becomes known that they don't have the squeakiest, cleanest past.
And that's why I kind of just prefer the company of people who don't pretend to be perfect.
unidentified
Yeah.
chrissie mayr
Because that's who's real.
keanu thompson
Or that they, yeah, if you had like, you know, if you made some missteps one way, then you can't like go like zoom the other way.
We need a little bit of balance in life, right?
We all make mistakes.
chrissie mayr
Life is about experiences.
unidentified
Life is about experiences.
chrissie mayr
Like, like seeing us in Dallas next Thursday.
elijah schaffer
I want you guys to do super chats.
We don't have a lot because we just implemented super chats today, but we have a few, like three or maybe like six.
Remember, there's a few ways.
And if you are watching on censored, they're fixing some of the back end stuff for me.
And by the way, I'm going to be fixing some of the stuff on the app.
But like I mentioned, we're live on locals.
We're live on censored.
This is an audio podcast, Spotify, Google Play.
We don't really stream that much on YouTube anymore.
We are on YouTube.
That's not really where we focus our time.
We focus it mostly on censored.
We also secondly focus on Rumble.
YouTube's like fifth.
So make sure you're following us on Rumble.
Make sure you're following us on Censored.
Make sure you're watching live.
We are live in as many places as possible.
But to the girls, can you let's start with Keanu.
Go ahead and plug your ads.
They're in the description so people can find them and follow them.
Let us know how we can follow you on social media, how we can interact with you.
And most importantly, we can make sure to just encourage people to go see your girl show.
They can support you live in Dallas.
I think you said it was.
So go ahead and we'll go through to Lila.
Then Chrissy.
keanu thompson
Yes.
So Dallas, obviously, Hyenas, the 25th.
Keanu C. Thompson everywhere.
Twitter, Instagram.
If OnlyFans is for you, you may follow me there, but you might not see much.
And Keanu Cast Live is it's Tuesday, Wednesdays, and Thursdays on YouTube.
unidentified
So just Keanu C. Thompson there.
And you guys can follow me, follow me at love Lila Heart, L-O-V-E, L-I-L-A-H-A-R-T on all platforms.
And also go to my website, LilaHart.com.
This has been so much fun.
Thanks for having me on the show.
And always remember that God rewards bravery.
So keep speaking truth.
chrissie mayr
Sorry, I was just fixing my boobs.
Come see us in Dallas next Thursday, the 25th at Hyenas.
Come see me in Morris Plains, New Jersey at the Dojo of Comedy Tiffs Alehouse, February 24th.
And then they won't let me fly anymore because apparently none of the stewardesses want to clean up placenta from the aisle.
ChrissyMayer.com for tickets.
Watch me on my YouTube channel.
Interviews all the time.
Simcast on Sundays, 9 p.m. Eastern, Fridays on Friday Night Tights on Nerd Rotics YouTube channel.
And yeah, subscribe to everybody.
This was fun, guys.
elijah schaffer
Thank you guys.
And I like how someone said.
I'm an exad.
Quit talking about Coke.
It's not fun games.
I didn't say it was fun games.
We're not going to go into the depth, but that moment at 6 a.m. when the birds are chirping and you're on a come down is and you feel like you're all alone.
God doesn't exist and you regret all of your life decisions and you can't even get your dick hard, but you want to feel something.
Yeah, it's not fun.
Yeah, really, it's not fun.
I do want to read a few super chats here.
We got one from Streamlabs.
I guess we're going to start doing this regular Stream Labs.
Alyssa B said, thanks for having the ladies on.
Love your show, Elijah.
So ladies, thank you for coming on.
We have a few as well here from Rumble.
We can bring this up here.
Sean A Fong said, this is why TGTFO is so important.
When women invade male spaces, there must be a toll.
All right.
So guys, we had one more here too.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Ice Mexican said, this woman's physiogamy is chosen Jew.
Who is that?
unidentified
Who's the Jew?
Who's Jewish?
elijah schaffer
Who's Jewish?
chrissie mayr
I don't know.
Nobody on this show.
elijah schaffer
I was asking who's a Jew.
Well, I'm asking the chat, who's the Jewish one?
I don't think someone in the chat also, I wanted to bring it up who's like, I don't want to hear a Jewish man lecture me about Christianity.
Christianity.
chrissie mayr
I think he's just doing that to troll.
elijah schaffer
No, but also, I think I say so many.
I think I, I think so many people, at times I've just said I'm Jewish online because we hit a lot of topics, maybe.
chrissie mayr
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
I don't know.
Someone said Elijah's Jewish by proxy.
I don't know what that is.
unidentified
Just kidding, you're successful.
elijah schaffer
We got some ones from StreamYard.
I mean, from locals as well.
Fantastic.
Iconic Turner had said, love seeing you here, Chrissy.
He's back.
I coherently says, what's up?
Proof Chrissy is right about their chicken making abilities.
unidentified
Holy.
Wow.
I love you guys.
chrissie mayr
Is that AI art?
Yeah.
keanu thompson
No, that's a real person.
unidentified
So no critical.
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
We have Debs have said this is the masterpiece.
It's me and Lila as midgets dancing.
chrissie mayr
You could have just taken Lila's actual body.
unidentified
Someone said, Elijah, I saved Kez from being a childless 30-year-old.
elijah schaffer
Also, Elijah.
There's me as Greta Thunberg.
And then at the gay parade and the trans flag outfit.
It's fantastic.
I am that I'm the most fabulous married man.
That's a good way to describe me.
It's very good.
It's a very good way.
You know what's funny, though, too, guys?
I really want to remind you guys something to the people watching the SOBs.
Don't take yourself, don't take yourself too seriously.
And also, there's a prayer called the Serenity Prayer, which a lot of people pray.
In 12-step programs, you'll pray.
unidentified
Serenity now.
elijah schaffer
But in church and people pray in moments of lack of faith, it's very common.
And it talks about God granting me the serenity, you know, to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
There's some things in life you will not be able to change.
And there are some things in life you need to change that are going to be hard to change.
And the key thing to ask God is the wisdom to know the difference because you might be wasting your time trying to change things about yourself.
And a lot of guys, I call it male-to-male transsexuality on the show.
We talk about it a lot.
A lot of men want to become more of a man.
So like I, let's say, as an example, I can change my hair color.
I can change my piercings.
I was this metrosexual, you know, kid from LA and maybe I still am.
but I'm not going to be able to change my voice and I'm not going to be able to change my mannerisms and I don't care.
And men will always tell me, oh, I don't want to hear about you about being a man and stuff.
And I don't tell you guys that.
But what I do point you to is truth.
I do point you to God.
I do point you to the real, the real people out there.
And I think with the world, you know, physical appearance, that's real easy.
You can hear a voice.
You can see mannerisms, but you can see hair color.
But a lot of stuff in our hearts, you cannot see.
And so, you know, I think the reason why a lot of people are so judgmental and spend a lot of time on the internet is because it's real easy to be a fucking twat to people that you don't know, to condemn people who you've never met, and to judge people for sins you've never been tempted to struggle with than it is to sit and reflect before God and ask him, Lord, try me, search me, know me, see if there be any wicked way in me.
And to look at yourself and say, God, I want to have the courage to approach you.
And a lot of people don't have courage to approach God because he's perfect and they feel shame.
But let God take the shame.
He is perfect.
You should feel guilt, but he will take that burden of guilt and shame.
And you can actually have forgiveness, which is crazy.
Cast their burdens and cares upon the Lord.
It says because he cares for you and you can be freed of the bondage of sin and death.
So just to remind you guys, you know, life, all the red pill, everything's but the physical stuff.
Make money, get cars, get bitches, fuck that whore, you know, whatever.
But reality of life is those people are miserable.
They really are.
I know a lot of them.
They're not happy.
And you want to be at peace.
And as the, I'll leave you with the basic philosophy, as it's always said, the true success of a man is being content with who you are when you're alone with your own thoughts.
And so, you know, if you are, if you, if you want to be there and you want to be happy and at peace alone by yourself, you don't want to need substances or dopamine or relationships or social media to fill that void.
You need God and you need God's love.
And yeah, I hope I always am a good example of someone who is imperfect, but believes in a perfect God.
And I'll never be a good example of myself because I have nothing to boast of in my own works, but I can boast in how much God has done in my life over the last five years.
I'm grateful and how much he's done over the last year.
Anyway, girls, I'll give you the last words.
Chrissy, Lila, and then Keanu, let's close out and then we'll go ahead and we'll go ahead and close out the show.
chrissie mayr
Elijah, it was really great to see your meet earlier in the show.
And then your underpants and then your box of pills, which I am about to check out and buy right now.
Yeah, Elijah, you're one of my favorite people.
I'm so happy we've been able to stay friends over the years.
And I think you're awesome.
You're one of the good ones.
And just excited to see what the rest of this year holds to everybody.
Come see us in Dallas next Thursday.
unidentified
Get your tickets before I give birth.
And yeah, that's all.
I had so much fun.
And thank you for what you said.
Elijah, are you proud of me that I didn't cry on the show?
First time I was on your show, you called me a cry median and I didn't cry at all today.
So I'm feeling very good about that.
elijah schaffer
I will say this.
I was actually like, I was wondering, I was like, I wonder how Lila's really doing.
And I literally went, I'm going to see if she cries.
And if she doesn't cry, then she's done a lot of work and like stabilized.
And I got to say, you should be proud of yourself.
Not that it's bad to cry, but like the fact that you held your shit together on the show has shown matured a lot emotionally.
And I feel like that's a, that's, you should feel proud of yourself.
unidentified
Thank you.
Thank you.
keanu thompson
Thank you so much.
This, Elijah, so nice meeting you for the first time.
This was a bachanal.
Thank you so much.
I accept the fact that I cannot change, that you are just an incomparable human being.
And this was just too much fun.
And you're so damn handsome.
And go do a line if you feel like it.
unidentified
I'm just in Dallas.
keanu thompson
Okay.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, I'll see you.
I'll see you all in New York when I go to do some work at Central TV later this year.
Anyway, thank you.
Thanks so much again for supporting.
Watch my live street video.
It's going to be everywhere on Rubble.
You can watch the whole thing or watch it tonight if you're bored at censor.tv, promo code offensive for 20% off.
It's the best way to support the show.
I've been so happy that you guys have been getting your memberships and then you guys sent me your complaints and we're working on them for the rest of you guys.
Have a great rest of the week.
As always, and may God bless the United States of America.
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