Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer - Listen Up Boomers
Aired: 2020-04-14
Duration: 08:08


=== Women's Mask Struggles (05:55) ===

[00:00:00]  Now what do I, a clear, trusted professional, because I'm wearing one of these coats, and this fat teenage loser have in common?
[00:00:09]  You know what?
[00:00:10]  We're sick of all of your sh**.
[00:00:13]  I'm scared of the way everybody is responding to the coronavirus.
[00:00:22]  Coronavirus!
[00:00:24]  In fact, I'm losing my mind to the point that I am using a Donald Trump toilet brush as my pointer for today.
[00:00:34]  But you know what I'm sick of?
[00:00:35]  I'm gonna go through the list of the things that I'm upset about, but don't forget to subscribe and always click that bell and make sure you were unsubscribed.
[00:00:42]  Anyway, let's talk about number one.
[00:00:45]  Number one, I'm sick of these.
[00:00:48]  Yes, I'm not just talking about women.
[00:00:50]  Sometimes they bother me too, but I'm talking about the worst kind of women.
[00:00:54]  And it's women that are not submissive to men, but are suddenly submissive to the government.
[00:00:58]  What's gotten into women these days?
[00:01:00]  All of a sudden, the patriarchy matters.
[00:01:02]  Misogyny gets taken down, but when Uncle Sam, now don't call me daddy, call me Uncle Sam, tells you to wear a face mask, you roll over and you cry out for mercy.
[00:01:11]  That is it!
[00:01:12]  This is the final straw!
[00:01:15]  Now this woman here is following a mandatory rule or law inside of Los Angeles to where you have to wear a face mask.
[00:01:22]  In fact, I don't even think this is a face mask.
[00:01:24]  I think she cut his bra, or like that's like a piece of his shirt indented with the wet sweat stains of a foob.
[00:01:32]  And she wrapped it around her mask.
[00:01:34]  And this is what people are doing.
[00:01:35]  You know why they're doing this?
[00:01:36]  They say this.
[00:01:37]  Because, but I think it helps people.
[00:01:39]  Then it's good.
[00:01:39]  There's a mandatory mask wearing here in Los Angeles.
[00:01:43]  It's important that everybody does their part.
[00:01:45]  And so it's part of the deal for us all to get healthy.
[00:01:48]  I guess we just have to do what we have to do.
[00:01:50]  It feels very different and strange, but I think if it helps people, then it's good.
[00:01:56]  You wondered how the Holocaust happened?
[00:01:58]  It's because idiots, bra mouth women here are the ones who followed laws without questioning, not even looking at the science.
[00:02:06]  And one of you guys is going to complain, oh, Elijah, you don't want to wear face masks.
[00:02:10]  Well, you don't want to wear goggles.
[00:02:11]  So I'm a step ahead.
[00:02:12]  Look at this beautiful girl.
[00:02:14]  You like her?
[00:02:14]  She looks nice.
[00:02:15]  She probably has a bright future ahead of her.
[00:02:18]  Or maybe not, because, yeah, she killed herself.
[00:02:22]  That was your day.
[00:02:23]  We are all going to die.
[00:02:26]  Girl 15 kills herself after struggling to cope with the pressure of state home orders.
[00:02:30]  So this young woman right here killed herself because she had to stay home.
[00:02:36]  Do you remember all the state home orders where the people said, um, attention?
[00:02:40]  He thought, we just saved one life.
[00:02:42]  The stay-at-home orders would matter.
[00:02:44]  Well, first of all, since you made Planned Parenthood an essential business, you're actually still killing hundreds and hundreds and maybe even thousands of babies a day, you freaking hypocritical piece of morons.
[00:02:55]  But also, don't we care about black people?
[00:02:58]  How dare you?
[00:03:00]  Aren't we, don't all black lives matter?
[00:03:02]  Well, apparently this girl's didn't because staying home was more important to them than this girl's mental health.
[00:03:08]  Nobody gives a crap about the truth about whether stay-at-home orders actually work.
[00:03:12]  How we look at the science of whether states that had less stay-at-home orders had less or more cases, we don't know.
[00:03:18]  But now this girl, we'll never know because at 15, she was told to stay indoors.
[00:03:23]  But you know what?
[00:03:24]  Maybe you want to go on a walk.
[00:03:25]  This woman here, okay, obeying the law, good woman, slightly overweight, but still cute, like the host of the show.
[00:03:33]  Police in Beverly in the north of the city have mandated that locals who are walking opposite directions along bustling Loft Street must now use separate sidewalks.
[00:03:42]  So this woman, this woman, and these people are now told they can only walk one direction on the sidewalk.
[00:03:49]  You also have to be careful.
[00:03:50]  That's why I always try to pack a gun.
[00:03:54]  We've gotten so out of control with the social distancing laws that we've interrupted boomers' evening walks.
[00:04:01]  Never get in the way of a boomer in their evening walk.
[00:04:04]  In most parts of the world, due to lockdown, most of the transmission that's actually happening in many countries now is happening in the household at family level.
[00:04:14]  In some senses, transmission has been taken off the streets and pushed back into family units.
[00:04:20]  Now we need to go and look in families to find those people who may be sick and remove them and isolate them in a safe and dignified manner.
[00:04:32]  Just so you know, we're coming to your house, seizing your children, and quote, isolating them in a safe and dignified manner.
[00:04:40]  What the hell is wrong with these people?
[00:04:43]  They don't even know what they're stopping.
[00:04:46]  It's literally like the most ridiculous and absurd thing.
[00:04:48]  Now that's why I posted this.
[00:04:50]  I said, World Health Organization says we're going to have to remove your children from your house if you get sick.
[00:04:55]  My children?
[00:04:56]  And then people were like, oh, look at, I know my kid would have finger discipline.
[00:05:01]  You put up a picture with your kid's fingers on the trigger.
[00:05:04]  Yeah, dude, because the World Health Organization is about to come in.
[00:05:07]  He's not practicing finger discipline.
[00:05:10]  He's about to light some mother effing globalists up.
[00:05:16]  He knows how to defend himself.
[00:05:17]  Because my son's not a loser.
[00:05:19]  Yeah, he is kind of gay because he takes stock photos at nine years old, which automatically puts him in the category of being made fun of at school.
[00:05:26]  But it was worth it because guess who's ready for war?
[00:05:28]  My son, Jedediah, whatever the hell your future name is.
[00:05:32]  And you know what?
[00:05:32]  I'm happy about this.
[00:05:34]  I'm happy that I let the world know that my family doesn't mess around.
[00:05:37]  I shot through a hamper day this car and it was a full metal jacket bullet.

=== Government Praises? (02:27) ===

[00:05:43]  I went straight to the bagging him and I was like, oh, and he started crying like old baby.
[00:05:49]  And I'm getting so sick of this shit.
[00:05:50]  Like I said in the beginning, I'm losing my hair and my mind and even all of my glasses.
[00:05:56]  With all of this being said and done, the same people who ruined the country, the very people who said that this, that put these laws into place, that made it impossible to go outside, that are complicating the economy, are now getting the praises of the people.
[00:06:11]  Right here, people are talking about, oh, but the government helped us.
[00:06:13]  It's like the government crashed the economy and then they're giving you a $1,200 check.
[00:06:18]  Whoop Diddy freaking do?
[00:06:20]  Hey, look, I wanted to give you a sympathy card for when I killed your wife.
[00:06:25]  You're not a real Republican unless you refuse a $1,200 handout.
[00:06:28]  Because when the going gets tough, you shouldn't have to rely on big government to save you.
[00:06:32]  You just got yourself into this mess.
[00:06:34]  And if you just work harder and be healthier, you wouldn't be living off vomit or something.
[00:06:40]  So socialism.
[00:06:41]  What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.
[00:06:46]  Well, first of all, Seth degrees.
[00:06:49]  I got a degree for you.
[00:06:51]  It's not a handout.
[00:06:54]  These aren't handouts.
[00:06:55]  The government doesn't have free money.
[00:06:57]  It's my money they're giving back to me, mine.
[00:06:59]  Okay, you freaking moron.
[00:07:02]  And it says here, it's a taxpayer rebate, not a citizen bailout.
[00:07:06]  Many of us pay 20K plus a year in income tax alone, not to mention payroll tax for small business owners, sales tax on local goods for day-to-day consumers, gas tax on fuel, property tax on our homes, electronics, purchases tax, car registration, et cetera.
[00:07:20]  This isn't the government giving us free money.
[00:07:22]  It's a thief giving us back the money that he stole from us.
[00:07:24]  And this person responded, they said, oh, here's a rich white guy who probably lives in a three-bedroom house in Kentucky or Virginia.
[00:07:30]  And I said, well, first of all, you moron, Kentucky and Virginia are Democrat states.
[00:07:34]  So when you're trying to make a point about a Republican, why would you choose states that are run by Democrats?
[00:07:39]  Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep talking.
[00:07:43]  You big piece, wasteful sack of flesh that you call your life.
[00:07:48]  Literally, just the worst people.
[00:07:51]  And I come in here and I make a valid point.
[00:07:52]  And then they're like, oh, well, you probably, I said, you know what?
[00:07:54]  I do pay the amount of a home to live in a crappy apartment in a neighborhood that is overrun by illegal immigrants.
[00:08:00]  And while everyone mocks me and says that I'm stupid for always downplaying, I think you're all full of shit for upplaying.