Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer - San Francisco Sucks |  Part 1
Aired: 2019-07-03
Duration: 13:23


=== Pride Inspired Moments (05:20) ===

[00:00:00]  Mars is planned Vegeta!
[00:00:01]  Oh, Zuckerberg is a la Akba!
[00:00:03]  Mars is playing Vegeta!
[00:00:05]  Let me think, Saiyan Aryan, Uzi, it's scumbags!
[00:00:08]  Police, they all say an Aryan school, Uzian, Aryan rat pigs!
[00:00:12]  All the police are rat pigs!
[00:00:13]  I got light band!
[00:00:14]  I got light band from the Goku kid event.
[00:00:16]  Remember, Google Goku Kid?
[00:00:17]  Go-Go, our Google, go, Google girls, right?
[00:00:20]  Five-year-old sucking d  ⁇ .
[00:00:21]  Hey guys!
[00:00:22]  It's me, Elijah Schaefer, your favorite gay black woman here in San Francisco at Pride.
[00:00:27]  Yes, I do fly and I get around from place to place.
[00:00:30]  We are reporting on everything that you want to know about the end of the month celebration.
[00:00:35]  We're going to talk to people and see.
[00:00:36]  Oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, come on, come on, come on, ah, yes!
[00:00:41]  Oh, the energy, the excitement, you guys.
[00:00:44]  Make sure you like, share, subscribe.
[00:00:45]  Just so you know, we are constantly and consistently getting basically just shut down by YouTube and they've put a complete halt on our viewership.
[00:00:54]  So please make sure you continue to subscribe.
[00:00:56]  Always check out the links below to keep independent media and journalism alive.
[00:00:59]  We hope you enjoy the show.
[00:01:01]  Like being a horse?
[00:01:26]  And tell me, is there better as a human?
[00:01:29]  Say yes.
[00:01:30]  No.
[00:01:30]  It's better as a horse.
[00:01:32]  And this is your handler here?
[00:01:33]  He's a good handler.
[00:01:34]  You do good?
[00:01:36]  Absolutely.
[00:01:37]  I love it, guys.
[00:01:38]  Keep it up.
[00:01:38]  Gotta get the leather unitard.
[00:01:40]  That is next level kink right there.
[00:01:43]  Free dad and mom hugs?
[00:01:44]  What are free dad and mom hugs?
[00:01:45]  What is this?
[00:01:46]  I do this.
[00:01:47]  It's a free mom hug?
[00:01:48]  Thank you.
[00:01:49]  My mom's down south.
[00:01:50]  Free dad hugs.
[00:01:51]  Thank you.
[00:01:53]  Free mom hugs?
[00:01:53]  Oh, thank you.
[00:01:55]  What I'm wearing today is my time traveling space wizard costume because I'm a time traveling space wizard.
[00:02:00]  So that's what inspired it was being a time traveling space wizard.
[00:02:03]  All I gotta say is we support faggots.
[00:02:06]  All right.
[00:02:07]  Hey, I am a f  ⁇ got.
[00:02:09]  I love gay people.
[00:02:10]  Wow.
[00:02:11]  That's a lot.
[00:02:12]  That is a lot.
[00:02:14]  Wow.
[00:02:15]  Back to slightly offensive.
[00:02:17]  San Francisco doesn't have that bad of a meth problem.
[00:02:21]  But it's got something.
[00:02:22]  It's got a meth problem.
[00:02:23]  It's getting a little out of hand.
[00:02:25]  I just want to say thank you for coming out here.
[00:02:27]  It genuinely means a lot to have people out here supporting the LGBT community.
[00:02:33]  I love you all.
[00:02:34]  I genuinely love you all.
[00:02:36]  Do you know about Fairy Freedom Village?
[00:02:38]  Do you know what I'm doing here?
[00:02:39]  So this is our 20th year at Pride.
[00:02:42]  We've been holding down this community space for the past 20 years consecutively.
[00:02:46]  It's the only place really on the Pride grounds where there's nothing for sale.
[00:02:49]  So community conversation, picnic, performances all day.
[00:02:52]  The way Pride probably was meant to be.
[00:02:54]  I mean, well, Pride was a riot.
[00:02:55]  Let's be real clear.
[00:02:56]  Pride was a very dangerous riot.
[00:02:57]  So when did you become a time traveler?
[00:02:58]  I'm interested.
[00:02:59]  This is, this is, I mean, how do I answer the question, when did I become a time traveler?
[00:03:03]  Let's think for a second.
[00:03:04]  Later?
[00:03:06]  Before?
[00:03:07]  Tell me what inspired us while you're doing this.
[00:03:09]  Someone want to share?
[00:03:10]  I like this little one right here.
[00:03:13]  Yeah.
[00:03:13]  How did she inspire it?
[00:03:15]  She came out this year as transgender, and I am just here to support and love her.
[00:03:20]  And I want to do that for every kid that doesn't get that from their parents.
[00:03:24]  Just give out the hugs to everyone.
[00:03:26]  Any shout out to parents who don't know with kids coming out transgender, don't know what they think about it.
[00:03:30]  What do you have to say to them?
[00:03:32]  Everyone has the right to be their authentic self.
[00:03:35]  Just love them.
[00:03:36]  So you guys just enjoying the day or what?
[00:03:38]  Yeah, we're just enjoying the day.
[00:03:39]  Trying to.
[00:03:40]  We're doing some crazy dudes.
[00:03:41]  You see, you see all the cs, the double they're just like, what do you think about that?
[00:03:45]  They're pretty insecure.
[00:03:47]  It's just like the only time that they're willing to show that unless it's like, you know, by theirselves.
[00:03:52]  It's real, a real talk, right?
[00:03:53]  I mean, it's, and there's kids here.
[00:03:55]  That's what's scary.
[00:03:56]  Yeah, and there was this one, there was this one guy in his d out, and the kids were walking by, like, brushing up against a man's d  ⁇ .
[00:04:01]  Are you real?
[00:04:02]  That's absolutely.
[00:04:03]  I tried to, like, turn away, and then he seemed like offended, and I was like, you're the one to talk, man.
[00:04:08]  We're just trying to avoid looking at him because I'm like, I don't know what to do.
[00:04:10]  It's interesting, right?
[00:04:11]  Just to be here and see us all.
[00:04:13]  Yeah.
[00:04:13]  It's interesting, yeah.
[00:04:15]  We got the king.
[00:04:15]  Is it the king?
[00:04:16]  The king or the queen?
[00:04:17]  The queen.
[00:04:18]  It's a king.
[00:04:19]  Okay, the king.
[00:04:19]  The king.
[00:04:20]  All right, so what inspired this outfit?
[00:04:22]  And what are you proud of today?
[00:04:24]  Proud of being who you are.
[00:04:27]  You gotta represent what you really are, you know?
[00:04:31]  Like, no fear, there's no fear.
[00:04:33]  This is 2020.
[00:04:34]  So we should all be happy and spread love.
[00:04:38]  It's good to know that it's out there, but it's just kind of terrifying.
[00:04:41]  Definitely for adults, though.
[00:04:42]  Would you agree?
[00:04:42]  Yeah, no, you should not bring your kids here.
[00:04:44]  I don't know.
[00:04:44]  You definitely can't be a kid here.
[00:04:46]  And if you're basically, if you're a parent and you bring your kid here, you're probably a pretty crappy parent.
[00:04:50]  It's a very bad thing.
[00:04:52]  You're exposing them to stuff way too early.
[00:04:55]  She was like, oh, you know, they might not be in all the places around, but then we just got off bar and there's just a guy with his.
[00:04:59]  There's like no family-friendly spaces.
[00:05:01]  I gotta get this on camera, please.
[00:05:03]  All right.
[00:05:04]  Like, what inspired naked pins?

=== Pride Weed Glory Hole (03:46) ===

[00:05:07]  Like, this is like, and they're hairy, too.
[00:05:09]  Where do we get this idea?
[00:05:10]  Alright, it's a collector's item.
[00:05:12]  People like to collect enamel pins and they're anatomically, you know, accurate.
[00:05:16]  We have the shaved ones.
[00:05:18]  We've got, well, they're not.
[00:05:19]  Some people are naturally smooth.
[00:05:21]  And then we've got, you know, hairy butt representing, and then we got different colors representing all the squirting uncut cut because we have to represent everyone, right?
[00:05:34]  Glory, a take-a-peek glory hole?
[00:05:36]  Yeah, it closes on the dark end here.
[00:05:37]  Take a peek, sir.
[00:05:42]  Oh, wow.
[00:05:43]  There's a lot of glory in that hole.
[00:05:46]  That reminds me of a sign that goes, Glory, glory, holler.
[00:05:50]  Good one.
[00:05:51]  Bye, bye.
[00:05:52]  That's like sacrilegious.
[00:05:53]  And there's, to put it in the term sack religious about a glory hole.
[00:05:57]  Join Pride?
[00:05:58]  Yeah, hell yeah.
[00:05:59]  No, Pride is good.
[00:06:00]  We should be focusing more on other countries because I think America deals well with gay people and stuff.
[00:06:04]  But, you know, we should, yeah, focus on like Iraq or whatever.
[00:06:07]  You know, we're not even in it.
[00:06:08]  Countries where gay people are still throwing off buildings and like beheaded, like Saudi Arabia, where people are still murdering people just for being gay.
[00:06:15]  Passing out weed here.
[00:06:17]  No, it's salmon.
[00:06:18]  For sale?
[00:06:20]  All right.
[00:06:21]  Is this the best weed in California?
[00:06:22]  One of the best weeds.
[00:06:23]  One of the best weeds.
[00:06:24]  Called Gelato Rust.
[00:06:25]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:06:25]  One of the best.
[00:06:26]  Good customers here?
[00:06:27]  A lot of good customers.
[00:06:28]  A lot of good customers.
[00:06:29]  And I appreciate them too.
[00:06:30]  Yeah, you appreciate the customers, right?
[00:06:31]  It doesn't matter.
[00:06:31]  It's like that.
[00:06:32]  You guys like Pride?
[00:06:33]  You guys are big Pride supporters?
[00:06:34]  Yes, yes, very good Pride supporters.
[00:06:36]  Happy Pride to everybody.
[00:06:37]  Happy Pride.
[00:06:38]  Everything you need to do to sell the weed, right?
[00:06:39]  Pride weed, Pride Weed, Gelato Rust, Pride Weed, Pride Weed.
[00:06:42]  I like it, brother.
[00:06:43]  Hey, gotta be a good salesman, man.
[00:06:45]  Keep it real, bro.
[00:06:46]  Basically, the Pride Parade started with people holding signs against the police, which is understandable, actually, because I know that there was a lot of issues, even with policing in the gay community back when Pride sort of started.
[00:06:57]  But then you have a lot of anti-Trump signs.
[00:06:59]  Impeach the FN moron Ice Hole in Chief.
[00:07:02]  I don't assume you're a big fan of this guy, right?
[00:07:05]  Lock him up.
[00:07:06]  You're not a big fan of Trump?
[00:07:09]  No, pathological liar.
[00:07:11]  A Groper in Chief.
[00:07:13]  You name it.
[00:07:14]  He's done it.
[00:07:16]  Let's name him.
[00:07:17]  Name him.
[00:07:18]  Rapist.
[00:07:18]  Okay.
[00:07:20]  Liar.
[00:07:21]  Pathological.
[00:07:23]  What are your thoughts?
[00:07:24]  What do you do with that guy?
[00:07:25]  You don't deal with who?
[00:07:27]  You think about Trump?
[00:07:28]  You think about he's about to be the next president?
[00:07:30]  You think?
[00:07:31]  Well, he already is.
[00:07:33]  I don't think so.
[00:07:34]  He is the president.
[00:07:35]  I know, but I don't think he'll be running for another governor.
[00:07:38]  He's not the governor.
[00:07:39]  No, I don't think he'll run again.
[00:07:42]  He will.
[00:07:42]  He's doing it.
[00:07:43]  You think so?
[00:07:44]  I know so.
[00:07:46]  Okay, good luck.
[00:07:47]  Racist?
[00:07:48]  Impeach the racist.
[00:07:50]  Okay, here's the worst one.
[00:07:51]  You ready for an R-rated one?
[00:07:52]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:53]  Oh, yeah.
[00:07:55]  Are we next?
[00:07:56]  Be aware.
[00:07:57]  We have to censor that one because the fascists at Google don't even let people show that sign anymore.
[00:08:03]  They've never seen this sign.
[00:08:04]  No, they don't let people do that one, that thing.
[00:08:07]  But that's the truth right there.
[00:08:09]  It's basically just like a political parade.
[00:08:11]  But I mean, I understand.
[00:08:13]  This is kind of a political slash sexual slash mature event.
[00:08:24]  I understand, like, the idea of, like, I like having a piece and I like using it, but I don't see what the attraction is in public of letting it out.
[00:08:32]  There's a kid right here, look right here.
[00:08:34]  So there's a children right here.
[00:08:36]  And then there's a man's just on a c ring just hanging out.

=== Pride Is Inspiring (04:45) ===

[00:08:39]  What do you think about the f  ⁇ es?
[00:08:40]  I saw a guy with his f  ⁇  out here.
[00:08:42]  There's kids.
[00:08:44]  Kids and there's out.
[00:08:45]  Yeah, I don't like it, but I don't mind it.
[00:08:47]  Yeah, with the kids too.
[00:08:48]  This is a mature event, you know?
[00:08:51]  What inspired this outfit today?
[00:08:53]  So I went to private school when I was a kid and like I was like pride is my number one favorite thing.
[00:08:59]  It's my biggest event of the year because you know pride is mainly for the people that can't like come out.
[00:09:05]  Like it's mainly for the people like knowing that you have this whole community.
[00:09:10]  It is it's inspiring.
[00:09:11]  Every time I come here I feel like just complete joy and happiness.
[00:09:15]  It's literally just a bunch of people being as weird as possible all together.
[00:09:19]  You're just horsing around.
[00:09:20]  You're horsing around?
[00:09:22]  Oh you can only you can only do yes or no questions right?
[00:09:25]  And you're just dancing naked out in the sun, right?
[00:09:28]  Chilling and relaxing all cool.
[00:09:30]  And you enjoy being a naked horse?
[00:09:33]  No.
[00:09:34]  It's a destiny.
[00:09:36]  Guys, what inspired this outfit?
[00:09:38]  The matching, what inspired it?
[00:09:39]  The emojis, the two gay emojis, but we forgot the tails.
[00:09:43]  Oh, you got that with the bunny hairs.
[00:09:46]  These are the gay emojis.
[00:09:47]  We did.
[00:09:47]  They have time.
[00:09:48]  Those are girls.
[00:09:49]  Or gay emojis.
[00:09:50]  There's both.
[00:09:50]  There's both girls and guys, but we're like the fabulosity.
[00:09:54]  Are you straight though yourself?
[00:09:55]  No, I am super pan.
[00:09:57]  I'm open to anybody.
[00:09:58]  What is so?
[00:09:58]  Okay, so pan.
[00:09:59]  I mean, I know what it is in theory, but realistically, I mean, because that could go in a lot of directions.
[00:10:04]  What does pan mean to you?
[00:10:05]  So, um, the difference between bi and pan, I recently learned this about myself, pan includes transgenders and, like, Have you looked up with a transgender before?
[00:10:14]  Oh, yeah.
[00:10:15]  You have?
[00:10:15]  Was a guy to girl or girl to guy?
[00:10:17]  I prefer not to say, because I know they would prefer me not to say.
[00:10:21]  Okay, but like, okay, can I say it's a transgender man or a transgender woman?
[00:10:24]  Um, man.
[00:10:25]  And it was amazing.
[00:10:26]  Yeah, it was amazing.
[00:10:27]  And you loved it.
[00:10:28]  I loved it.
[00:10:28]  I've never experienced anything like that, and a lot of people have it.
[00:10:31]  Would you recommend that for people?
[00:10:32]  Entirely.
[00:10:33]  I thought I was bi my whole life, so it was kind of like best of both worlds.
[00:10:36]  This is proud to be a fag.
[00:10:37]  Oh, yeah.
[00:10:38]  It does.
[00:10:39]  Are you guys retaking the word?
[00:10:41]  Is the word f  ⁇  being retaken?
[00:10:42]  Yes!
[00:10:43]  Yes, we love it.
[00:10:45]  I wrote his name, man.
[00:10:49]  Motherfuckers.
[00:10:50]  Damn it.
[00:10:51]  Go!
[00:10:53]  Go ahead.
[00:10:54]  Just do it.
[00:10:56]  Go away.
[00:10:58]  Go away, dude.
[00:10:59]  There's women, man, both, and neithers.
[00:11:03]  You know what I mean?
[00:11:04]  Asexuals?
[00:11:05]  Yeah, like you, like, you look at them and you have no idea.
[00:11:07]  Those are my favorite people.
[00:11:08]  Do you identify as a gay man?
[00:11:09]  Absolutely.
[00:11:10]  A Marine as well.
[00:11:12]  A Marine veteran.
[00:11:13]  Never forget, man.
[00:11:14]  Absolutely.
[00:11:14]  I woke up needing to do poetry.
[00:11:17]  And so he just sat next to me, totally clicked.
[00:11:20]  His crew isn't like as fun either.
[00:11:23]  So we're just like freaking life.
[00:11:26]  Living life naked on the street.
[00:11:27]  Literally, it's the way to do it.
[00:11:28]  Keep it real.
[00:11:29]  Keep it fresh.
[00:11:29]  Have a good pride.
[00:11:30]  What was your name?
[00:11:31]  Elijah.
[00:11:32]  Beautiful.
[00:11:32]  Nice to meet you.
[00:11:33]  Nice to meet you.
[00:11:33]  Have a good one.
[00:11:34]  What's your name?
[00:11:35]  Bailey.
[00:11:35]  Bailey, have a good one, Bailey.
[00:11:36]  Keep it real.
[00:11:37]  Were you guys looking at someone's breasts right there?
[00:11:38]  I was not.
[00:11:39]  No, he told me to look somewhere.
[00:11:40]  I was just turning around to look.
[00:11:42]  Because you guys aren't here for the guys, I'm not imagining.
[00:11:44]  Oh, we're here to have a good time.
[00:11:45]  But you did to see that woman's breasts work clearly out.
[00:11:47]  I did not see anything.
[00:11:48]  You saw it.
[00:11:49]  You saw it.
[00:11:50]  You told him to look.
[00:11:51]  Bro, are you really just coming around here just to f with people?
[00:11:54]  No?
[00:11:54]  We're trying to have a good time.
[00:11:55]  We have a real show.
[00:11:56]  We're a television show.
[00:11:57]  I'm sorry.
[00:11:57]  You just laughed because you were looking at her breasts.
[00:11:59]  I didn't.
[00:11:59]  I didn't see anything.
[00:12:00]  You told me to turn around.
[00:12:01]  Hey, it's cool, man.
[00:12:02]  It's a free country, bro.
[00:12:04]  I'm not dogging ya.
[00:12:06]  You're obviously kind of honored.
[00:12:07]  Well, if you got offended, that's it.
[00:12:09]  There's nothing gay about looking at a woman's breasts.
[00:12:11]  That kid got caught.
[00:12:12]  He's like, my mom going to see this?
[00:12:14]  He's like, hey, if you're his mom, your kid was looking at a woman's breasts on the street.
[00:12:20]  Capitalism.
[00:12:21]  Companies have completely overtaken pride.
[00:12:24]  It's just companies with branding, advertising a company.
[00:12:28]  Yes, here we go.
[00:12:29]  Equality.
[00:12:30]  Get your home loan from equality.
[00:12:32]  They support the gays, so get into a 30-year fixed loan at 6.5% APR financing today because they love gay people.
[00:12:38]  Verizon, connecting the world one butt at a time.
[00:12:42]  By Amazon, because we love the gays.
[00:12:46]  Oh, good.
[00:12:46]  Guys, it's Facebook.
[00:12:49]  We are Facebook.
[00:12:50]  We support freedom of sexuality, but not freedom of speech.
[00:12:56]  I have breasts.
[00:12:58]  I figured I'm very proud of them.
[00:13:00]  If you watch any of the rest of Steven Crowder's content, you can't not win where he stands on this.
[00:13:04]  Facebook is actually against free speech.
[00:13:06]  Yeah.
[00:13:06]  And they censor any ideas they don't like.
[00:13:08]  I was walking by.
[00:13:10]  Fish will win.
[00:13:11]  Love will win.
[00:13:12]  Hate has no place in our world.
[00:13:15]  Want to make sure that everybody stays safe.
[00:13:17]  Nobody gets attacked by neo-Nazis or cops.
[00:13:20]  Thumbs up or thumbs down to Donald Trump as a naked horse.
[00:13:22]  Thumbs up or thumbs down.