Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer - Trump's Worst Nightmare
Aired: 2019-06-19
Duration: 12:49


=== Trump's Impact on Us (09:14) ===

[00:00:00]  Trump's a taekwondo.
[00:00:01]  Designo, does he even taxes them?
[00:00:05]  Here's a tax cut for his friends.
[00:00:07]  That's that is where his tax break ends.
[00:00:11]  Yeah, Trump's a fascist.
[00:00:13]  Yeah, Trump's a fascist.
[00:00:15]  Yeah, Trump's a taekwondo.
[00:00:19]  His big head tells him so.
[00:00:22]  Yeah, Trump's a racist.
[00:00:23]  Designo.
[00:00:25]  He fills people's lives with, whoa, immigrants to him more mice.
[00:00:30]  He's the cat that plays his ice.
[00:00:33]  Yeah, Trump's a fascist.
[00:00:40]  His big head tells me so.
[00:00:43]  Awesome.
[00:00:44]  Welcome back to our show, Slightly Offensive, with your favorite host, me, Elijah Schaefer.
[00:00:48]  We are here in front of the federal building in Los Angeles, California at the Impeach Trump protests.
[00:00:54]  Across from me, you have counter-protesters showing up, but the people here want to do what Rashida Talib famously said, impeach that motherfucker.
[00:01:03]  Trump is a fascist, Trump is a fascist.
[00:01:06]  Trump is a fascist.
[00:01:07]  He's big as Lee South Trump is a fascist.
[00:01:10]  Trump is a fascist.
[00:01:11]  Trump is a fascist.
[00:01:12]  He's big as Levy South.
[00:01:16]  So what inspired your outfit?
[00:01:18]  This was inspired by the Russian interference, not only with our election, but their ongoing influence on President Trump and Trump's policies that reflects a clearly Russia pro-Russia to a vast extent policy.
[00:01:32]  Which is a convoluted way of saying the Russians are dictating way too much policy in the United States.
[00:01:38]  We are from the law firm of Putin's Roll and Bolshitsky.
[00:01:42]  We are here to defend Conrad Trump.
[00:01:43]  Your house says anyone else.
[00:01:45]  Anyone else?
[00:01:46]  Anyone else?
[00:01:46]  Literally anyone, but who would you prefer over Donald Trump if you had to choose?
[00:01:50]  Any Democrat.
[00:01:52]  Anyone but Trump.
[00:01:53]  I mean, I'd go on Facebook and somebody will compare Trump to a can of biscuits.
[00:01:57]  And I'm like, I'd rather have the biscuits.
[00:01:59]  Anyone, any Democrat, even a few Republicans would be better.
[00:02:03]  Who in the Republican Party?
[00:02:04]  That's interesting.
[00:02:05]  You know what?
[00:02:06]  Nobody.
[00:02:06]  You're right.
[00:02:07]  I take it back.
[00:02:08]  I can't think of one.
[00:02:09]  They're horrible.
[00:02:10]  I'd rather have someone's dog.
[00:02:12]  This is Betto.
[00:02:13]  Betto.
[00:02:14]  His name's Betto.
[00:02:15]  Does he stand on tables and go like this with his little hands?
[00:02:17]  He says, he does.
[00:02:18]  He does what he does.
[00:02:19]  Any skateboards?
[00:02:20]  This would be cool.
[00:02:21]  Is that a real copy of the Mueller report?
[00:02:23]  This is a white Russian retro dress that I made.
[00:02:26]  Out of the Mueller report?
[00:02:27]  This is the Mueller report.
[00:02:30]  And it is 450 pages of crimes, Conrad.
[00:02:35]  Obviously, of all the pages that are blacked out with all the information.
[00:02:39]  And they didn't even, all these crimes, it's amazing.
[00:02:42]  The rallies, Facebook, Instagram, everything they did, posing as Americans, it's all right here.
[00:02:49]  And guess what?
[00:02:50]  The best parts they left out.
[00:02:52]  You're not the Trump people, are you?
[00:02:54]  We're not them, no.
[00:02:56]  We're in the middle.
[00:02:57]  I heard they were really bugging people.
[00:02:59]  People have given up.
[00:03:00]  They've lost hope.
[00:03:01]  They accept anything.
[00:03:03]  There is no moral compass.
[00:03:05]  A president can advocate breaking the law on a daily basis and people get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, and just go, I'm so horrified I can't react.
[00:03:15]  So I feel like there's a numbness that's happened and I think the longer we wait to impeach, the longer that numbness takes hold, the more anything can happen to us.
[00:03:25]  So I think impeachment is vital.
[00:03:27]  Number one, it's vital because it's not our job to say put him in jail or not.
[00:03:36]  I think it will absolutely unite people.
[00:03:38]  It will wake up more people that are asleep.
[00:03:41]  There are people I know that are so depressed they can't even look at the news.
[00:03:43]  They don't even want to see.
[00:03:44]  This is like from Trumping in office and everything.
[00:03:46]  It's taken away their joy.
[00:03:47]  Oh my God.
[00:03:49]  People have talked about depression.
[00:03:50]  People have gone.
[00:03:51]  Psychologists' visits have gone up, all sorts of things.
[00:03:54]  They call it TDS.
[00:03:54]  You know about that, right?
[00:03:55]  Trump derangements.
[00:03:57]  I didn't make that.
[00:03:58]  It's a psychological disorder.
[00:04:09]  So I don't have five cents, but I have five dollars.
[00:04:12]  What inspired you to do this, and what do you want to communicate through all this?
[00:04:15]  Well, Lucy inspired me and her little therapy booth.
[00:04:20]  I just, like you, I did stand up.
[00:04:23]  I always did political women on the street satire, like asking people crazy questions and talking to them about politics, but always funny.
[00:04:31]  I'm going crazy myself, and helping people helps.
[00:04:34]  Humor helps, and so I decided to do this.
[00:04:37]  And I take it all over LA, like the Valley, Santa Monica, a lot of farmers' markets.
[00:04:44]  Support?
[00:04:45]  A lot of support.
[00:04:46]  I get people to laugh and smile.
[00:04:47]  Maybe they weren't going to do it that day, or I don't know.
[00:04:50]  Maybe they were, but I always make people feel a little better.
[00:04:53]  Have you heard of TDS?
[00:04:55]  TDS?
[00:04:56]  It's a real, like, actually, so I thought this was a joke when I read it, right?
[00:04:59]  I literally did, because I go, this can't be real.
[00:05:02]  But I was reading an actual medical study.
[00:05:04]  I have a background in biology, right?
[00:05:05]  I used to work as a...
[00:05:06]  I think some guy told me about this yesterday.
[00:05:08]  What is that?
[00:05:08]  Trump derangement syndrome.
[00:05:09]  Like, it's an actual syndrome of the mind.
[00:05:11]  I'm trying to remember, yes, TDS.
[00:05:15]  And I know it sounds negative, but it isn't negative because it's literally people, like, I'm going to butcher this because I didn't, I'm not, this is the whole study.
[00:05:22]  But it was like people who genuinely have a state of either fear or anxiety of consistency due to Trump still being in office.
[00:05:30]  A guy just told me he has to go to his therapist for that, and he was diagnosed with that.
[00:05:36]  I needed some therapy, and I was looking for, there's certain places where you can get therapy with like sliding scale.
[00:05:44]  I called, there's a 64-week wait to even get in to get an intake.
[00:05:52]  And I said to the woman, Trump, and she goes, yep.
[00:05:54]  And he thinks he can do a better job in the White House.
[00:05:57]  Right, Mitchell?
[00:05:58]  He could.
[00:05:59]  I bet you, I mean, this is true.
[00:06:01]  This is a kind of pet metal.
[00:06:02]  Yeah, is that the time?
[00:06:03]  Hi, baby.
[00:06:04]  You tried to run for Senate.
[00:06:06]  Didn't turn out too well.
[00:06:07]  You know, dogs take on their owners' stress.
[00:06:09]  So there's a ton of dogs with Trump with Trump anxiety right now.
[00:06:14]  Yeah.
[00:06:14]  For real.
[00:06:15]  And this is not a joke.
[00:06:16]  For real.
[00:06:17]  It was on the news like two days ago or something.
[00:06:19]  So literally, Trump is causing dogs to be stressed out.
[00:06:22]  Yep.
[00:06:23]  This is our new mascot.
[00:06:25]  I really pet your dog in a weird way because I'm just trying not to get the Me Too movement.
[00:06:29]  I don't want to go, yeah, you touched the dog wrong.
[00:06:31]  It's like, really, when you think about it, then Trump's at the source of like everything.
[00:06:36]  Somewhere where you find a problem, you find Trump, it leads back to Trump.
[00:06:40]  Well, here's the thing.
[00:06:41]  You can tell Trump does not like animals.
[00:06:43]  I don't think he's ever had an animal, even as a kid.
[00:06:46]  So I think.
[00:06:46]  He likes bitches, though.
[00:06:50]  That's good.
[00:06:50]  I'm going to use that.
[00:06:53]  He, in his own way, he's screwing animals, too.
[00:06:57]  Did you see the new Constitution, Declaration of Independence?
[00:07:02]  No, I didn't, actually.
[00:07:04]  The Russia!
[00:07:07]  We made it easier to read.
[00:07:08]  The new Constitution.
[00:07:11]  We don't need all the words.
[00:07:12]  Too many words.
[00:07:13]  That's what, just redacted.
[00:07:15]  I actually have a theory, by the way.
[00:07:16]  I think that we win people over through a bit of comedy.
[00:07:19]  I think people come for the comedy, stay for the content.
[00:07:23]  I'm a big guy on mixing humor with truth, baiting people with humor, leaving them with the truth.
[00:07:28]  It's how pop culture works, how they get young kids to believe things.
[00:07:32]  So you laugh a little bit, dress up, it's silly, but it has a serious undertone and it communicates something on a deeper level.
[00:07:37]  I appreciate that.
[00:07:38]  Always appreciate that.
[00:07:40]  I think this is funny.
[00:07:40]  Oh, you think this is funny?
[00:07:41]  Why do you think this is funny?
[00:07:42]  No, I think that we're creative.
[00:07:44]  This is America.
[00:07:45]  They have the freedom to dislike Trump.
[00:07:46]  Is this a voodoo doll?
[00:07:49]  So my sister gave me this about five years ago.
[00:07:51]  I have anger issues, but it looks like Trump's here.
[00:07:54]  So I let people hit it on the stool and it helps their anxiety.
[00:07:58]  Can I do it?
[00:07:59]  So this is our Trump voodoo doll.
[00:08:02]  Can we get a good shot of this?
[00:08:04]  This is the Trump voodoo doll.
[00:08:06]  And what I really, really love about this guy, so what we're going to do is she was saying, you take it here and you hit him here, right?
[00:08:17]  But here's the deal.
[00:08:22]  This is good.
[00:08:23]  I have a sense of humor.
[00:08:24]  It's funny.
[00:08:25]  Deja vu.
[00:08:27]  She's not, you know, throwing punches at people.
[00:08:30]  This is democracy.
[00:08:31]  I mean, I'm a Trump guy.
[00:08:32]  This is my newest t-shirt design.
[00:08:35]  Every time I sit down and I try to make a list of all the bad stuff he's done, it's like historically bad.
[00:08:42]  Every morning I wake up and I'm like, what the hell is he going to do today?
[00:08:45]  What kind of f  ⁇ ed up thing is he going to do and try and piss Democrats off.
[00:08:49]  Trump is a narcissist and you know this America, Make America great again.
[00:08:54]  He doesn't even care about America.
[00:08:56]  He's just trying to make money.
[00:08:57]  He doesn't care.
[00:08:58]  If you even look at his opinions from 15 years ago, he was a Democrat.

=== Long Wait, Antifa's Future (03:49) ===

[00:09:02]  The minute he's not president anymore, everyone's going to be so happy that we're going to be dancing in the street and we're going to be drinking champagne and we'll be so happy.
[00:09:12]  but I hope that we don't forget that this could happen again.
[00:09:36]  You know when you're just trying to cross the street and then you're like accidentally show up next to Antifa and you go, ah, shoot.
[00:09:43]  It's a long wait guys.
[00:09:46]  It's a long wait.
[00:09:57]  All right, let's walk.
[00:09:59]  Seriously.
[00:10:04]  I'm leading Antifa into the future.
[00:10:06]  I am their leader.
[00:10:07]  I do have the best vision in mind.
[00:10:10]  I know what the future holds for all of us.
[00:10:12]  It's under attack.
[00:10:23]  What do we do?
[00:10:28]  Stand up, fight back.
[00:10:29]  When justice is under attack, what do we do?
[00:10:33]  When justice is under attack, what do we do?
[00:10:36]  Strike back.
[00:10:37]  You know what?
[00:10:37]  Today what we're seeing is a very peaceful demonstration of stand up fight back.
[00:10:43]  Thank you.
[00:10:44]  My wife says I get every song lyric wrong.
[00:10:46]  I do.
[00:10:46]  So, okay, okay, cool.
[00:10:48]  She's good.
[00:10:48]  I've been doing this long.
[00:10:49]  All right, I appreciate it.
[00:10:50]  Well, I'm not very good at the chance, but I will tell you what I am good at doing.
[00:10:55]  Talking to people.
[00:10:56]  What is your plan for the United States of America in three barks or less?
[00:10:59]  Because I love people.
[00:11:00]  I love people on the left.
[00:11:01]  I love people on the right.
[00:11:03]  And I just want to see the dialogue increase, the dialogue continue, and America change for the better.
[00:11:08]  Look, we don't agree on all things.
[00:11:10]  Actually, we fundamentally disagree on some of the most important fundamental aspects of our society.
[00:11:16]  But I do thoroughly and absolutely specifically believe that we actually desire the same things, which is we want to see the state of the union be strong.
[00:11:25]  We want to see the advancement of people, the sovereignty of our nation continue, and our United States of America remain the greatest country in the history of this world.
[00:11:34]  I'm Elijah Schaefer here for another episode of Slightly Offensive Out here at the Impeachment Trump Rally.
[00:11:39]  Always make sure that you like this video, comment, keep it up in the algorithms.
[00:11:43]  But hey, if you want to go a step further and you love what we do, check out the links below to find out how to get some merchandise.
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[00:12:01]  Super fantastic.
[00:12:02]  We love you guys.
[00:12:03]  We want to keep growing.
[00:12:04]  God bless the United States of America.
[00:12:06]  I'm signing out.
[00:12:10]  Trump is a fashion.
[00:12:11]  Trump is a fascist.
[00:12:12]  Trump is a fashion.
[00:12:13]  He's big and dumpy tow.
[00:12:15]  Trump is a fashion.
[00:12:18]  He's big and dumb.
[00:12:23]  Hold on.
[00:12:23]  Hold on.
[00:12:23]  Can you please?
[00:12:24]  No, don't walk away.
[00:12:26]  No, no, no.
[00:12:27]  We're out of your goodness.
[00:12:30]  I'm sorry.
[00:12:34]  I just I watch you like every single day oh my god hey give me a hug good evening good to meet you can I get a picture with you yeah of course I'm sorry, I'm not using this weird.
[00:12:46]  No, it's a picture, that's fine.
[00:12:47]  I'm gonna get me too'd right here.