Tim discusses billionaire Les Wexner alleging he was “conned” by longtime friend Jeffrey Epstein, Mexican trans furries, the US potentially going to war with Iran, the Winter Olympics, and Kash Patel appearing on Dan Bongino’s podcast to say nothing of value.American Royalty Tour🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillonSPONSORS: Dose Go To https://dosedaily.co/TIM for 35% OFF Your First Month Subscription! ARMRAGo To https://armra.com/TIM Or Enter “TIM” To Get 30% OFF Your First Subscription OrderStashGo To https://get.stash.com/TIM To See How You Can Receive $25 Toward Your First Stock Purchase! EthosProtect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/TIM Application times may vary. Rates may vary.▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1Instagram:https://instagram.com/timjdillon/X:https://twitter.com/TimJDillonFB:https://www.facebook.com/TimDillonComedyTik Tok:https://www.tiktok.com/@timdListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBack
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Snowstrippers Concert Surprise00:04:04
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
I apologize that I am late.
The episode is late.
I went to a show last night in LA.
I went to the Snowstrippers concert.
I don't know anything about the Snowstrippers.
A friend of mine is a manager in the rap world, the underground rap world, the like young people.
And he was like, the snowstrippers are a thing.
Have you heard of the snowstrippers?
So you have.
Okay.
And it was people were messaging me.
You're the Snowstrippers guy.
First of all, yeah.
Yeah, I am.
So what?
But I didn't know who they were.
And a lot of their fans seem to be very lovely people.
They were kind of furries and kind of goth, Mexican furries, trans and great.
Love it.
Go to the concert.
Stop with the shooting.
But yeah, I mean, like, you know, that's the thing.
Trans furries just go to the concert.
You know what I mean?
Like the shooting, if that's what happened, and that's a whole nother thing, but we're getting, we're getting sidelined.
We're getting sidelined because frankly, let's be honest, a lot of us don't, including me.
I don't think it was that.
But whatever, whatever.
Moving on.
But a lot of their fans, and I had trans furries coming up to me, which was nice saying, thank you for your work, literally.
And there was a few trans furries that took photos with me and said, thank you for what you do.
And I think the trans furry kind of Mexican goth community in small parts, in small numbers, it wasn't a million people, but in small numbers, I think are starting to warm to me.
You will come to me eventually, no matter what segment you're in.
You will find the program eventually, no matter what segment you're in.
I will start to make sense as you go through life.
It doesn't matter that you have the fox hat on or whatever that woman who came over to me last night had.
Could have been a cat.
Doesn't matter.
Again, we're off track.
I will start making sense to you at a certain point in your life.
You can't fight it.
I know many people want to fight it and they fought it for decades.
I bump into people and they make faces and they're fighting it.
And they're like, that guy, ugh.
But eventually I will wear you down with logic and charisma.
There's nothing you can do.
There's nothing you can do.
And I realized that last night with the lovely Snowstrippers fans.
I thought fake Mink was going to be there.
And I didn't know who that was until four days ago.
And I started listening to Fake.
Do you know who Fake Mink is?
See, I got you.
Well, he's from the UK.
And I thought Fake Mink was going to be there, but Fake Mink wasn't there.
And then one of the other people was like, yeah, Fake Mink's not on this.
But it's every now and then I'll go every now and then I'll go to an underground rap show in LA or not even underground, but like, I don't know, a weird thing.
And people are shocked.
Like you'll see people look at me and do a double take.
It's like crazy to see me in that environment because I'm dressed kind of like the way I'm dressed, but I dress insane anyway.
So I kind of dress like I might be there because like you, these young people see me.
And I think the word is unknown.
That's the parlance.
And they see me like, what is that?
Now, some of them don't know who I am.
A lot of them, most of them.
But then occasionally you will see someone there.
And then there's people there that are like older than me who are clearly just trying to kidnap people.
That's an interesting segment.
White Black Guy Drama00:15:04
I'm there because I was invited by some guy who's a manager that I'm friends with now.
But I then look at people that are like older than me, like straight up dad energy, but creepy dad, who are in a button-up shirt and glasses like a serial killer.
And then it's just a bunch of Mexican transferries.
And I'm like, well, he's trying to scoop one of them up and bring him to the car.
There's no, but I guess that's the way it is.
That's the way it is.
There was a few people, and I was kidding around with my manager friend, who's a new friend, but I like him because he's, you know, he's like, oh, he's a fun.
I like, if you get a good white black guy, it's great.
Like that archetype of guy.
But the white, by the way, I've been having a lot of issues with the white black guy recently only because it's so over the top.
I was in Vegas.
I was having lunch at True Food Kitchen.
This white guy approaches the table and you know what it's going to be immediately.
You know, it's a white black guy, but not in a way that you can, like, he's like, what up, plur?
Like he's made player.
Maybe it's southern white black guy that's really bothering me, but whatever he was doing, it was so over the top and he was very happy.
And he was like, what up, purr?
What up, plur?
And I was like, oh, God, this is, we're doing this.
It was one of those things where he's like, like you would order the lunch and then he'd be like, bro, I couldn't forget this order.
I finna get you ketchup, but it's fully a white, fully white guy.
Finna get you ketchup.
What up, plur.
It was just too much.
It was awkward and it was too much.
But if it's tastefully done, and this, this guy tastefully done white black guy, I think it's an attractive quality if it's tastefully done.
If the white black guy is done in a tasteful way, where it's not so over the top and silly, where it's like insane.
What true food kitchen, by the way, worst restaurant in America, disgusting, tasteless crap, sue me.
Oh, it's it's so good for you.
It's not and it's terrible.
Have you been there?
It's a restaurant dedicated to like, and everything's in an air fryer, but it's not good.
And they pretend it's like American restaurants should just not even attempt to be healthy.
They don't even know how to do it.
They should just try to kill you.
If you're going to be healthy, buy the food, cook it.
If you go out to eat in this country, you should go out knowing that the restaurants are actively trying to kill you.
And any restaurant that goes, we're actually only trying to wound you, they're also trying to kill you.
They're trying to, so this true food kitchen that hired this sweet guy, probably two months out of prison, rehab, whatever.
And it was just a white black guy energy I couldn't get with because it was so over the top.
I'm finna get you ketchup and I ain't trying to get you charged for this ketchup.
I ain't trying to get you charged for this ketchup plur.
And I was like, can we just, yo, I heard you from New York.
I got people there.
And I was like, he's like, I'll be around there sometimes.
That's what he said.
He goes, yo, you from New York?
I'll be around there sometimes.
I go, hey, man, I just, I just, I mean, I just want the baked chicken finger here.
But this white black guy that I'm now friends with is it's, it's classy.
It's done well.
I think it's important that it's just done well.
Now, if it, if it starts to go overboard, I'll have to, like, I'll have to, like, I'll have to detach.
But I'm very excited because right now, this white black guy, who I didn't think I would like because my, another mutual friend brought him to my studio.
I was like, this guy's cool.
And I'm like, oh, because I, most people, I really, I really, truly, this is what happens at 41.
Most people, it's tedious to even talk to them or be near them or around them.
And I don't want to sound like I'm an antisocial hermit.
I'm not.
I force myself to suffer through this.
The people in my life, agents, managers, business managers, assistants, personal friends, family, it gets harder and harder.
The yoke that binds you together, it just isn't as much of a connective tissue as you get older.
People in your life, some of them, and now maybe you don't have this experience and bless you.
I know I was accused the other day of being so negative on this show.
Love and light to everyone who doesn't have this experience.
God bless you.
Love it, love it.
But as you get older, it is harder to tolerate people, especially new people, at least with old people.
You go, I know what I hate about you.
And you know what you hate about me.
And we overlook that.
And we get to the things that we like about each other.
Or there's certain friends you have that you just like talking to about certain things.
I have friends where I just talk to them about certain real estate markets in certain cities.
And it's been in its decade-long friendship where I will just talk to certain people about what's going.
Certain people will call me.
See, Austin's getting fucked.
I go, I know.
And it's 25 minutes on the phone, once a month, once every two months.
And that's okay.
And so I don't like meeting a lot of new people.
Like when you're young, you're like, I really want to meet a lot of people.
I love meeting interesting people.
By the way, that's a crazy, anyone who says that's a crazy person.
Anyone who says they like meeting interesting people is ill, mentally ill, is a mentally ill person.
I'm telling you, because it doesn't happen that frequently that anyone can even like it.
It's someone who is imagining what it would be like if it happened.
I meet interesting people all the time.
It's terrible.
It's actually terrible.
I meet interesting people all the time.
It's it's actually not that interesting.
It's I've met people where it's so insane, it gets boring.
Like they're so interesting.
You will meet people in the world that are so interesting.
It's actually not that interesting.
It's actually a weird, like it's like goes full circle.
So now my game is I'd like to meet people that are moderately interesting or not that interesting and pull out of them something that is interesting.
Oh, your mother faked her own death and disappeared for a year and then came back.
That I like.
I don't want to meet people who are like, I built a company from the ground up.
Like already I'm sick when I hear that.
Already at a dinner, when I hear I built this from the ground up, I'm physically ill and I want to kill myself.
I built this from the ground up and in the beginning, nobody really believed.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Come with a gun.
Shoot me in the face now.
And like my boys believed in me, but like not even they did.
And like it took a while.
And the first seed round, oh my God, get a noose tied around my neck.
Make sure it's strong enough and lift me to the rafters and let me go see God because I can't, but I like this new person, this new white black guy.
It's done well.
It has class.
There's charisma.
It's not over the top.
It's not like that waiter.
And it reminds me of an archetype from my childhood.
We had a lot of white black guys in Long Island that were that some went overboard.
Some are dead.
You know, they got too into it.
But I mean, you play the role to get too into it and you start being stupid, you know?
But this one is, and he's got a white black guy name and it's a cool ass name.
I'm not going to say it, but I a white black guy's got to have a cool ass name.
And that's, that's all I'll say.
But I can't do any more at lunch.
What up, purr?
I'll get the, I'm sitting to get that ketchup.
I can't do it.
It's awkward.
It's disrespectful to the contribution that black people have made in our country.
Really it.
It's like wrong on every level.
I don't know why it's not called out.
Whatever.
I'm moving on from it, but whatever.
I don't know why that's okay.
It's like crazy.
If I decided to be a Dominican woman for a year, people would say that's like not good, right?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm just saying.
But the good, good job on the snowstrippers.
She's a Russian woman.
She's attractive.
Not really to me biologically.
I don't care, but she's an attractive lady and she's up there singing for the transfer of goth Mexicans.
And a few serial killers want to scoop them up, put them in the trunk and myself and the white black guy who's not my best friend.
And then you, in the beginning of it, they couldn't get the, I don't know, they couldn't get the, they couldn't get the tech right.
So they had to keep leaving the stage and apologizing.
And all the transfer Mexican goths were deflated by this.
And they're sad anyway, I think.
So, I mean, they have a lot of emotional things.
No one's happy ever, by the way, in our country.
I was talking to Lucy Kaye about that.
No one's happy in America.
I don't know why, but no one looks at it.
Like they're all at a concert, but they're all kind of have that glazed look.
They're all raised in a phone and whatever.
But so they only get happy when this Russian woman gets on the stage.
And then immediately there's like a problem and they apologize and they go, we're so sorry that we had to do this to you.
And then the transferring Mexican goth kids get sad.
And then some of them came over to me and they were like, yo, can I get a picture?
And I was like, of course you can.
Little troop of Cobras.
And then, so these troopacabras are sad.
And these little trans troopacabras then go nuts when the snow, that Russian chick comes right on again.
And they all start going nuts.
And it was lovely.
It was a lovely event.
And it was nice to go, nice to go.
It was enjoyable because, you know, we're maybe on the verge of war with Iran and we don't know.
And I don't want to be negative about that.
Somebody sent me a clip where these guys were discussing me and they were like, we're fans of him, but he always tells people that there's no hope.
And I go, I'm not saying there's no hope.
He's telling people they can't have a good life.
I said, I've never said that.
I've never said that.
If you look at the news right now and you're overwhelmed with a sense of hope, I don't know what to tell you.
I mean, like, honestly, if you read the news right now and hope is the first word that comes into your mind, I'm confused.
That's all I would say.
I'm not trying to spread negativity here.
The show is literally me reacting to what's going on in the world.
And if you think what's going on in the world, like I get it, we're run by a cabal of satanic pedophiles.
There's tremendous wealth and equality.
We have a technocracy that's built autonomous drone armies, but you can still have a good life.
I get it.
I'm not telling you you can't have a good life.
Go have a good life.
What I'm saying is when you look at the trends happening, you have to sit with that for a minute and go, oh yeah, this might shape up to be bad.
It might.
It might work out well.
It might all work out well.
The seven people that all have all the money and have all the autonomous robotic drone armies, they might be benevolent rulers in our kingdom.
So I'm not saying you can't go get a sticky bun or take a jog with the dog on Sunday morning.
I'm saying the news is you get a little deflated if you read the news.
And they're like, why is Tim Dylan mad?
He has a nice car.
Hey, man, I'm lucky I have a silly car that I've wanted since a little kid that I can drive.
But I don't know that that invalidates the larger trends of what's happening.
And the country's not doing great.
I know that in some areas it feels like it's doing great, but it's not doing great.
Like we're in $40 trillion worth of debt.
That's number one, a big problem.
We're on the verge of a, you know, potentially a major war with Iran.
That's not good.
The average age of a homeowner is 39 years old.
People are less likely to go out and hook up and get married and have children.
So society looks a lot differently than it did when I grew up.
And I'm responding to all of that.
It's not to depress anyone or tell anyone you can't have a good life.
I have a good life.
As people bring up when you criticize anything, they go, you have a Rolls-Royce.
Shut up.
Why would you point something out that's glaringly obvious to literally anyone?
There's a contingent of people that want you to say, things are great.
Things are great.
That Sean Hannity crew, Ben Shapiro's in there, but it's a big Murdoch kind of Fox news crew.
And then also there's people on the left that are more the mainstream Democrats.
And also their instinct is always to go, things are good if, you know, people just were to listen to women.
Like we'd be better.
That's our only real issue.
Things would be good if we had a trans Spider-Man.
The real issue is the lack of representation on the shows that nobody watches anyway.
If minorities got more work in the shows that no one watched anyway, no one would need health care.
Everything would be fine.
That's an impulse.
I get it.
It's an impulse to have to just tell everyone to shut up.
Things are good.
Well, Tim Dylan's not going to work in, and these were nice guys.
They weren't like, they weren't like, they weren't like, they disagreed with me on things.
They were like, one of them goes, Tim Dylan's, well, he's not going to do another movie because you trashed that director.
Number one, number one.
How many movies was I in before that?
Was I a movie star and I just didn't know it?
Number two, did you see that movie?
Fired By Saudi Arabia00:02:44
What was I supposed to say?
What was I supposed to say?
It was a cinematic achievement.
And that director is a great director and he's directed lots of other projects that have been classic.
He's a legendary comedy director and he'll direct a lot more shit that's great that I won't be in.
And whatever, you know, side note, I did look at a condo on, and I'll say his name, Todd Phillips, whatever.
People know who it is.
And I looked at the condo and this building in LA called the Sierra Towers and the realtor said it was a really nice condo.
It was a little while ago.
And the realtor said, you know, Todd Phillips, the big director, he owns two units on this floor.
And he goes, maybe you'll bump into him in the elevator.
Like, cause you're a comedian.
That would be pretty cool.
And I was like, oh, and I just took my realtor.
I go, let's go.
Let's go now.
But listen, I get fired all the time.
I was fired by the kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
Do you understand that?
I was the only comedian fired by the kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
I'll be fired again, and I never blame anyone for my firing.
It's usually my fault.
It's almost always my fault.
Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot stop talking about dose.
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That mindset makes you weak and dependent.
And dependence is exactly how those big corporations make their money.
But when the health system fails you, it's on you to get ahead of it.
That's why I don't buy into harsh traditional medical therapies.
I self-manage my health as you should, especially when it comes to your body's core systems like cholesterol.
Cholesterol, a lot of the time, is out of people's hands.
It's one of those things that's hard to control.
Sometimes it's even fully out of your control.
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Dose for cholesterol is a clinically bad cholesterol support supplement that targets triglycerides, LDL, HDL, and total cholesterol.
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Talk about, I mean, you know, talk about how hard it is out there, folks, amongst yourselves.
Just sit there and go, it's hard.
Let's talk to each other about it.
Your cholesterol, you got to get that under control, right?
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Olympics And Iran War00:15:38
And I think these two guys, to their, you know, their credit, they were fans of the show, but they thought that I, I have, I believe that Israel has too much influence in American foreign policy.
You know, this is something that I believe.
It's a crazy, wacky belief that I've attained over the last couple of years.
I believe that Israel has too much.
I don't believe that the Jews are a shadowy cabal, keeping people from things.
I believe the country of Israel has too much influence with American foreign policy.
And when the leader of Israel visits Washington seven times to try to get us into a war with Iran that is not in our interest, really.
I mean, it's just not.
No one's afraid of Iran.
I've grown up my whole life.
All you've ever heard of it was Iran, like Iran's this like behemoth that's going to come kill everyone while you're out at the mall.
Iran's just going to start firing nuclear missiles, ballistic, intercontinental ballistic missiles.
You're going to, this is what these, these boomers fantasize that like one day you're going to wake up, you're going to open your door and it's just, I mean, chaos.
I mean, it's people are driving their cars into each other.
It's the scene from a disaster movie, right?
And you go, what, what's happening?
And your neighbor is going to go, Bob, it's Iran.
And you're going to go, I knew it.
I knew it.
One day you just open your door and the world is falling apart.
There are explosions and people are running full speed, grabbing their kids, going, we got to get out of here.
And you go, what's going on?
And your wife's like, I bet it's Iran.
And so that's what they're selling.
That's the sales pitch is that our country, which is separated by water, and we have a massive military and a nuclear arsenal.
And any attack on America, remember, would sign the death warrant of the Iranian regime.
So they would have to be suicidal and crazy to attack America, but supposedly they are.
And they've been planning this big attack on America where then we would destroy their civilization like in a matter of minutes.
But supposedly they're trying to do like that's their MO and they want to do that.
And I don't believe that's the case.
I think it's a war that primarily would benefit Israel because Iran is the biggest regional threat to Israel, whatever.
So there's people that disagree with that analysis.
You're allowed to disagree with that analysis.
I would say you're wrong.
I would say that I'm right.
Trump barely talked about Iran.
Iran was not an issue.
Was Obama, was it a big issue?
I mean, I know he made that deal and people fault him for that deal and whatever.
And is their nuclear program really peaceful?
Is it really peaceful?
I don't know.
I'm sure Iran would like a nuke.
I'm sure a lot of countries would like nukes.
But supposedly Iran's like five minutes away from a nuclear weapon and they, and we, and it's not enough to attack the missile sites, which we did.
We have to go in and engage in a regime change war, which would be like a real war.
Obviously, we would win with the United States, but it would be like a big war and people would die and oil prices would spike and the global economy would suffer.
And Iran gets, is going to get weaponry from China and Russia and they already have.
And that's intensified over the last few weeks.
And we're going to spend a lot of money to replace the Iranian regime with what?
I mean, it's a country of 90 million people.
And supposedly we're going to put somebody in there who they all love.
I don't know who it is.
I don't know what the plan is.
The plan is to send the Shah's son, this guy who's been living in Bethesda, Maryland, and having brunch with the CIA every week for the last 30 years.
We're going to stuff him in there and he's going to show up there and everything's going to work.
Well, I hope it does, by the way.
So these guys are criticizing me for kind of whatever, losing the plot.
And that's okay.
I don't think I've lost the plot, but it's people's, it's completely understandable for people to say they think that I'm wrong about something.
And that's okay.
I don't think I'm wrong about it, but it might be fun.
Here's the other thing.
Maybe the Iran war is actually a fucking blast.
Maybe it's a blast.
And I'm not ruling that out.
Like, it's fun as fuck.
And we're all into it more than the Olympics.
And I'm going to play something I did for the Olympics.
And I like, and it's nice and funny.
And it's a nice little commercial I did for J. Crew.
And it's not a commercial.
It's a short film.
And the guy who directed it was lovely.
And I have nothing good to say about it.
I have nothing bad to say about any of it.
But I will say this about the Olympics in general.
I think the Iran war will be more fun than the Olympics if we have it.
I don't like the Olympics.
I used to love it as a kid.
I don't know what it is.
People keep trying to make it a thing.
It's an embarrassment.
I hate it.
If you talk about the Olympics, I automatically assume something is wrong with you.
I have no time to hear about the Olympics.
I cannot imagine the mental state someone has to be in to go home and watch the Olympic.
It is a huge predictor of whether me and you are going to be friends if you choose to reference something that happened at the Olympics.
I'm telling you, I don't care about any of it.
I don't care that you thought the opening ceremony was satanic.
I don't care that you got really invested in the bob sledding.
I don't want to hear.
Anything.
I don't care that the skier broke her leg and now she's her career's over.
None of this matters anymore.
It's like Hollywood's dying.
We're not going to care about the Olympics.
Folks, when I grew up, Olympians were stars.
They had backstories you cared about.
Then it got really sad and I've talked about it on the show before where they're like, he lived in a car for a year.
His mother shot herself in the face and now he's going for gold.
And you're like, well, this is a little dark because people's lives have gotten so dark that the backstory used to be, his father got him up every morning and they went down to the frozen lake and his father was like, you're going to be a figure skater because you're gay.
And that was nice.
That was a nice thing.
And he's like, you can suck all the cock that you want when you win gold or something like that.
And that was fine.
That was fine.
But then it became like really dark where it was like his mother bought lottery tickets every day and she would sit there smoking cigs and scratching her scratch offs.
And he looked at her and he said, the only way I'm going to get us out of here is if I do the pole vault or whatever.
It's just weird.
And now it's like nothing.
Can you get up anything about this skier who lost her career?
Am I even remembering this right?
Didn't a woman look, didn't a woman have an injury and now she can't ski anymore?
And who cares?
No offense.
Who's this for?
Lindsay Vaughn, a 41-year-old five-time Olympian.
It's enough for any then.
Suffered a complex, severe left tibia fracture after a high-speed crash during the February 8th Olympic downhill in Milan, Cortina, following a horror crash.
She underwent multiple surgeries for her leg in pieces with recent updates indicating that she's recovering and back on U.S. soil.
Now, listen, can we let's watch this?
Because again, obviously, it's sad that she got hurt, but I just don't care about this.
Yeah, well, she messed up.
Hold on, show that again.
That's not what you're supposed to do in that sport.
She crashed just seconds into her downhill.
Yeah, she, here's the thing.
She goes airborne and then goes in a weird turn.
Play that again.
That's not what you're supposed to do.
I don't even ski and I know that.
Play this again.
This is not right.
She loses control.
It's over.
Here's the thing, folks.
You know, that doesn't make me feel anything.
And it doesn't make you feel anything.
And stop lying.
All right, get her out of here.
I don't want to see this again.
But it's not real anymore.
If Hollywood celebrities aren't real, we're certainly not going to care.
I hope her leg is better, but this is nothing.
The Olympics aren't a thing.
And they haven't been for years.
And this, no one's what, what, what generic regular, like, what conversation starts with like, did you see the Olympic?
The people that are watching the Olympics, it's like these little cute influencers in New York that are all getting paid.
And they're all like, and they send them all to the Olympics.
And they're all trying to distract you from all the stuff that's going on, which as they should be.
But like, they're all like, whoa, I can't, I cannot believe I'm here at the Olympics.
It's such an honor.
Let me tell you right now, these people invite the J. Crew people who I did this short film for, it was about Olympic skiing and like how skiing became a sport.
And it was, it was lovely.
And the kids on set were very nice.
One of the, we got in a fight with one of them.
One of them, I called him young Sheldon.
He said, big back.
I get it.
The whole fat thing.
He called me Tim Cheese.
Then it became, me and him.
He was like a nine-year-old kid.
We just started fighting about whether countries should have borders, who has sovereignty, whatever.
It just degenerated.
But, you know, and they should.
Whatever.
It doesn't matter.
The point is, it was a lovely experience.
We'll play it a minute.
But they invited me.
They go, you could actually come to the Olympics.
And I go, yeah, but why?
They go, but you'd be at the Olympic.
It would be cool.
It's like you'd be at the Olympics in Milan.
I go, yeah, but you know, I just don't, I don't, if I was at the Olympics, I'm telling you, I would just walk around and go, why are we still doing this?
Can you get up Jake Paul and JD Vance talking at the Olympics?
Look at Vance, look at his wife and look at Jake Paul.
I mean, that was the Olympics.
This is the Olympics.
Get that photo up.
I mean, this is the Olympics.
I mean, it's like, I like Jake Paul.
I really, I don't hate JD Vance.
I think they're making a big mess of it up there.
But I'm going to fly 10 hours for this because I would have been in that row.
I'm in that row.
It's Jake Paul, JD Vance, and then me.
And I'm eating a pastry.
I'm in that row.
That's the row I'm in, most likely.
Or I'm like, even more shamefully, I'm like behind them.
You know what I mean?
I'm like somewhere like seated like behind them, but that's the crew.
Who do you think they're putting me with?
Where do you think I'm going?
Where do you think I'm going to go?
You think I'm going with the young Han influencers?
I'm going right next to Vance, the wife, and Paul.
And I'm sitting here eating a teramasu, disinterested, watching this bitch break her leg.
Can you I turn to JD Vance and go, ooh.
And I would have made him laugh.
I would have went, kind of Pam Bondi, huh?
It's the way Pam Bondi's handling everything.
And he would have went, haha.
Well, the thing about Pam, but, you know, I mean, that's where I'd be.
I'd be in that row, getting, getting destroyed.
So I didn't go to the Olympics.
Let's play a little bit of this.
J. Crew, short film.
And I play a ski instructor talking to the children.
What are you even learning here?
I mean, what the hell kind of school even is this?
Gravitas is honor and dignity.
Honor and dignity are truth.
Truth is God.
God is the mountain.
Okay?
Are you getting that through your little heads?
That was the kid I said.
Some of your heads aren't that little.
Some of you have abnormally heads.
Go back to that kid for a minute.
Where was he?
And some of your heads aren't that little.
Some of you have abnormally large heads.
Unnatural.
And it's something you'll have to deal with, but not today.
That little.
The mountain.
Where is he?
Okay.
They're him, him.
Truth is God.
Try to freeze on him.
He started a chant, Tim Cheese, which is like a some type of video game or something.
Honor and dignity are true.
He started this.
It's hard to say.
Truth is God.
God.
It's quick.
Gravitas is honor and dignity.
Honor and dignity are true.
Truth is God.
God is the mountain.
And then I responded.
By calling him young, Him.
So he starts this chant no, literally he starts a chant, tim cheese, tim cheese.
And then he goes big back, he goes and he makes his, he's blowing his um, he's going, and then I go, okay, shut up, young Sheldon.
And then I burned him, I like cooked him, and then the, the kids responded to that and he was genuinely deflated.
But then he came back at me with more chance and it became it be they were, it was, they were being very vicious, and then they were six, seven and stuff they're, they're sick, the young people, and you're nihilists.
But all right, let's watch the rest of it.
Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt.
Are you getting that through your little heads?
And some of your heads aren't that little.
Some of you have abnormally large heads unnatural, and it's something you'll have to deal with, but not today.
So have you ever heard of us ski and snowboard?
Those are the elite of the elite, those are our Eagles.
But it didn't start out that way.
It started out a long time ago when people were just trying to figure out how to get down that mountain.
Let me show you all right, there it is, and here's the thing we will.
Okay, there's some left, we'll post a link to watch this, all right, and then this is it goes, this game.
We'll post a link to watch this.
You can give it a look.
JAY CREW, obviously a clothing company that has a winter ski line, and uh, Kevin Allrich, the director of this, who's really great guy and very nice, and uh allowed me to be a part of it, which was very nice of him and i'm.
I don't hold him accountable obviously, for the bully that should, the bullying that I experienced on set from the children, which is something I could.
It is legally actionable, but whatever, i'm not going to do anything about it because i'm a team player.
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Money Working Hard Now00:05:44
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I wanted to talk about this hazing incident here because, again, I think we're overreacting to it.
I just don't care.
If college kids want to kill each other, folks, it's really the least of our problems.
I wasn't in a frat.
I dropped out of community college.
I was in the real fraternity, which was the Brotherhood of Subprime Mortgage Salesmen on Long Island.
And we didn't need to haze each other.
We understood that we stood against a common enemy, which was the FBI.
And that creates a bond as well.
You know what creates a bond more than like putting ketchup on each other shirtless?
Crime.
Doing crime.
I'm kidding.
We weren't even doing crime.
It was literally illegal.
And most people were happy in those homes for a few years.
And that's all you get in life.
Well, you know, what are we doing?
So play this video because there's a bunch of shirtless, pretty hot young college guys in a basement.
And this is some hazing ritual where, you know, you're trying to get into a frat and they put a bunch of mayonnaise on you or catch up or something.
And everyone's like horrified by this.
And listen, whatever.
It's childish.
It's silly.
It's whatever.
I don't know.
I feel like, you know, I and everyone's like, everyone makes the point where they're like, listen, these guys are going to be the future leaders of America.
Hey, maybe not.
They're like, they're going to be the future leaders of America.
Yeah, maybe?
Maybe not.
The future leaders of America are going to be maybe robots.
So this is, this looks like something I've paid $50,000 to come home to, by the way.
It wouldn't cost 50, but maybe 10.
What is, so now this is a bunch of young college guys in a basement.
They're all being hazed.
And I guess it's people are squirting stuff.
All right, let's see the video, a little bit of it.
We're not going to watch the whole thing.
Anyone want to be forced coming on what's going on?
Hey, this stops here, guys.
This is a police department.
This stops here.
The cops should have fucked all of them.
Who's in charge?
The cops should have fucked every single one of them.
How hot would it have been if the cops went in?
I'm cleaning this up.
Everyone and said, now let's do it for real.
And shut the door and fucked all of them and cracked all of them open.
Let me tell you right now.
You want to talk about camaraderie?
You want to talk about a knight that bonds you forever?
By the way, you know how people used to bond when they had terrible lives.
This is how me and all my friends used to bond, by the way.
You'd be smoking a cigarette.
You'd go, I have nothing.
And someone would go, yeah, me too.
And you just start laughing.
That's the way people used to bond.
You'd be smoking a blunt and you'd go, I really don't have any money.
I have nothing going on.
And quite frankly, nothing excites me and I don't care about anything.
And someone would go, we have a quiz today.
And you just start laughing.
You go, dude, I am so fucked for that.
That was bonding for the lower middle class.
But I get it.
This is Greek life.
These are the frats.
You do all this stuff and you're supposed to like, ooh, we're shirtless and we're getting ketchup on us.
And supposedly this is supposed to make bond us.
No, no, no.
Not enough for me.
Imagine this story.
How did you guys become such good friends?
Well, we were in the same frat.
We were being hazed in the basement and we would just stand there in some gym shorts and they would just throw ketchup and mayonnaise at us and stuff and make Russian dressing on our chest.
And they would yell at us.
They would get in our face.
And then the cops came and the cops closed the door and fucked all of us.
Like hardcore, raw, punishing sex.
Like no lube, no poppers, no prep, no eating yogurt the night before.
Just messy, dirty prison gang sex.
And some of us cried, some of us liked it.
Some of us were frankly in the middle.
And that's, and that's why we're so, that's why we're such good friends.
Then somebody will go, that's a crazy story.
Did you see the Olympics?
You see that girl broke her leg on the Olympics?
She can't ski anymore.
This girl we've never heard of can't ski now.
But that would have done it for me.
I mean, I think it's a little overreactive.
Like people are like, I can't believe what they're, but do you know what I've been through in my life?
You know how much harder it is than that?
You know how much more difficult it is to go through what I've been through than to stand for a night or two or a week, whatever, in a basement and get ketchup thrown at you?
Jeffrey Epstein Billionaire Scam00:12:46
Do you understand?
You understand what it's like to be at Thanksgiving and you have to defend your friendship with RFK Jr.
You want to talk about hazing?
I say, I think he's a, I think he's nice.
I think him and his wife are nice.
You know, I don't know.
I don't think it's such a big deal, the hazing, but maybe it's because I'm cis hat.
Well, I'm not hat.
I'm cis gay.
What do you call me?
What do I call me?
I'm not hat.
Cis.
Cis gay.
Rich.
Cis rich, cis rich, white bitch, cis rich, white bitch.
By the way, those shirts are coming.
Let's talk a little bit about Les Wexner here, friend of the show.
Les Wexner is a entrepreneur.
He's an American success story.
He's a legend.
He created Victoria's Secret, and he was swindled by Jeffrey Epstein.
I don't know if you've heard of this guy.
Jeffrey Epstein was a very dishonest man.
And Les Wexter, billionaire entrepreneur, was taken in and swindled by Jeffrey Epstein because Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexter hired Jeffrey Epstein to manage all of his money, his billions of dollars of money.
Also, he gave him the largest private residence in Manhattan.
And Les Wexner, I believe at one point, gave Jeffrey Epstein power of attorney.
But he was really swindled.
Like I imagine this is how it went down.
Now, Les Wexner, again, legendary entrepreneur, billionaire, you'd think maybe a guy that wouldn't be able to be swindled, but this is how it went down because I know this.
I know how easy it is to cold call if you're good.
So Jeffrey Epstein probably, yeah, Les Wexner tells U.S. lawmakers he was naive and conned.
So I want you to imagine Les Wexner, billionaire entrepreneur, the limited brands, all of that.
Les Wexter is sitting at home and he gets a phone call and he probably answers his phone in Ohio.
He's on a lead sheet.
So when you sit down to cold call, there's lead sheets.
Okay?
So Jeffrey Epstein's really nervous.
He gets the lead sheet.
He goes, ooh, Les Wexner.
This is the big whale.
Let's call him.
Hello?
Hello?
Now I'm going to, here's the thing.
People are going to say to me, oh, you're doing a Jewish voice for this?
And it's anti-Semitic.
But here's the reality.
Epstein had this weird, creepy, childlike voice.
It's not, I'm not trying to do anything here.
I just going to, I have to go through the bet without you telling me that it's whatever.
Hello?
Hello?
It's Jeff, Jeff Epstein.
Is this Les Wexner?
Yes.
Well, Les, I just wanted to give you a call.
Are you happy with the people that are managing your money?
Well, yes, I am.
Thank you very much.
I think I'll be going.
Well, hold on.
Hold on.
Are you getting the, are you getting the returns you think you should get?
Well, you could always get more returns.
Yes, that's what I think.
I'm Jeffrey Epstein.
And we want to take your money and make your money work for you.
We want to make your money work for you.
You work for your money.
Now, why doesn't your money work for you?
That's a good point.
What would I have to do?
You give me all your money.
Give me all your money.
Give me a house.
Let me have power of attorney and buy me a house in Manhattan.
Well, that sounds reasonable.
I'm a billionaire, but you seem like a nice gentleman.
Now I'm doing a black voice for Les Wexner.
I don't know what happens.
I don't mean to, it's just hard.
It's like I'm drifting into like a black voice.
Here's what I'm trying to say.
Imagine the insanity of believing that Jeffrey Epstein has somehow conned this billionaire entrepreneur into giving him all of his money.
Does anyone believe that?
Does anyone believe that Les Wexner, who has an army of lawyers and accountants except the one that they shot?
You can Google that.
That is true.
Get up, Les Wexner accountant shot.
I mean, it's true.
And I'm sure he, I'm sure it was an accident.
I'm sure it was an accident.
Don't kill me.
Yeah, there's, yeah, there was a, yeah, someone put a bullet in Arthur Shapiro's head.
He was the lawyer of Victoria's secret billionaire Les Wexner.
Now, I imagine that this is a coincidence.
It happened many years ago and people get shot in the head.
And I'm sure this was a coincidence.
And it was a mafia-style slaying.
It's never been solved.
And I'm sure they tried hard.
But, and I think he was about to testify.
Go see if we can get a little bit more info on this because I believe that this guy, right, here we go.
Arthur Shapiro was in trouble.
The shy secretive lawyer, a partner in the Columbus, Ohio law firm of Schwartz, Shapiro, Kalman Warren, was under investigation by the IRS for failing to file income tax returns for seven years and for possible investments in shady tax shelters.
In March, 1985, Shapiro was due to testify before a grand jury over his dodging and whether anyone had helped him hide the money.
What he might reveal, no one knew, but he and his firm and several high-profile clients had a long history in Columbus.
But Arthur Shapiro never made it to the stand.
A day before his scheduled testimony, somebody fired two bullets point blank into his head as he fled from a secretive breakfast meeting held in his red BMW at a Columbus cemetery.
The mob saw murder has never been solved.
Shapiro reportedly personally oversaw the account for The Limited, the clothing company owned by billionaire Les Wexner, whose empire also included popular brands like Lane Bryant, which is the clothing store for female fatty bunbattis, where when I sometimes dress up like a Barry Weiss or a Megan McCain or whatever, any of our ladies, I will head into Lane Bryant and still would like to, by the way.
Shout out to Les and the whole fam Express and of course Victoria's Seek, but neither Wexner or his communications team, they've declined to comment, blah, blah, blah.
So anyway, so Les Wexner, who's surrounded by an army of lawyers and accountants, minus this guy who took one to the face, one to the head.
And who knows why, life's random and weird.
So this guy takes one to the head.
It is.
Can you predict life?
You cannot.
That's life.
You think that's what he thought when he got banged in the head?
That's life.
You're riding high in April, shot down in May.
But sometimes you're going to change your tune when you get shot in your face in June.
Anyway, so Les Wexer is conned by Jeffrey.
Jeffrey Epstein calls him up or I guess gets to him some way and goes, by the way, give me everything and I'll handle it.
And then now Les Wexter is going, now this guy's a crook.
And he preyed on people.
I think that's so wrong to prey on people.
So our heart goes out to Les Wexner, by the way, who is a victim, Les Wexner, a friend of the show, victim of Jeffrey Epstein, another victim.
I think we're going to find out that all of these billionaires are victims of Jeffrey Epstein.
I think that's the turn we're about to make here.
There's a lot of victims of Jeffrey, not only these women, but I think a lot of these billionaires and children, by the way, I think a lot of these billionaires were conned by Jeffrey Epstein into visiting this island or giving him a power of attorney.
He's conned a lot of these people.
You got to give it to somebody like Jeffrey Epstein.
He's just a smooth talk.
There was nothing.
There's no other reason that those two would be in business.
What other reason could you think about that Les Wexner and a Jeffrey Epstein might find each other's company enjoyable?
What other reason would one think?
It's not that they were engaged in illicit activities like money laundering or sex trafficking or, you know, weapons trafficking and narco-traffic.
It's none of that is true.
Let's just rule that out.
Let's rule that out immediately and imagine that it's just Jeffrey Epstein's got a great pitch.
He cold called him.
He called him cold.
Would you like your muddy to work for you?
Well, yes, I would.
Yes, I would.
Now, play the lawyer going, I will fucking kill you if you say one more thing.
Now, by the way, Yashar Ali, who I think occasionally listens to the show, is kind of an interesting, I don't know, he's a reporter of some kind.
He makes these kind of interesting points.
Some of them are weird and I don't know if any, like some of them are good and some of them are like, I don't, nobody says why he's saying it.
But whatever, that's the way I'm sure people feel about me.
So Yashur Ali was basically like, well, yeah, this is just something lawyers say, which is probably true.
Like I've had a lot of traffic problems.
You know, my friend was never a human trafficker, but I like drove the suspended license.
And like my lawyer would be like, just say, just say the minimum.
Just say the minimum.
So now here's Les Wexner talking about, I believe, Jeffrey Epstein working for the Rothschild family and Bill Gates or Google, the heads of Google.
Right.
So we're going to play this for you.
Here's victim, Leslie Wexner, victim, also a good friend of the show, but victim, victim in this, in Jeffrey Epstein's tangled web of lies.
Here's Les Wexner, full victim in Jeffrey Epstein's tangled web of lies.
And I feel for Les Wexner because he's now dealing with the fact that his friend wasn't who he thought.
That's the real.
You gotta, you gotta appreciate for a minute, you gotta just step back and think about how stupid they think you are.
The contempt they have for you.
The utter contempt they have for you as a human being and your intellectual ability, your gut instincts, your humanity.
Like the contempt they have for you is funny.
It is funny.
Maybe some of you listening to this are parents.
Probably a lot of you are.
And when your children or your teenagers lie to you, as long as they're not lying about something crazy, but when they lie to you, when they're late for their curfew and they lie to you and you kind of laugh because you go, oh, they, number one, they think I wasn't a kid.
They don't understand that I can see right through them.
They're not really good at this.
They're not pulling one over on us.
And you and your wife giggle about it.
That to me is what we're watching.
Now, it's like we're seeing some of the worst lies ever.
Like, do you realize how much better the Iraq war was in terms of lies?
And those lies were bad.
Like those lies were bad.
These lies are so incredibly insane.
Iran is going to blow up your cat.
Like Iran's going to blow up your favorite coffee shop.
Iran's taken out the diner.
You get cheese fries in after the ball.
It's such, the lies are so incredible.
Insane Lies About 9-1100:07:00
There's zero effort going into the lies.
This guy's out here going, I got conned by my best friend, by the guy I worked with for decades.
So I had no idea what he was up to.
I had no idea.
And the Trump administration's going out and going, hey, everyone's innocent in the thing that never happened that there's millions of files on that are incredibly disturbing and heinous.
Also, there's files we won't release and we won't do any investigations into any of these allegations because they happened a long time ago.
And what would we even really do?
And that's the current White House position is, well, now you know, now you know.
There's no investigations.
There's been no accountability.
There's nothing happening.
So the White House goes, you just wanted to know, you know.
So now you know.
Now you know.
You feel better now?
That's like kind of their attitude.
They're like, you feel better now?
Yep.
They're all fucking cans and killing them.
You feel better?
Now you know.
So here's, let's go back to Leslie Wexner, who's wrestling with this deep betrayal from Jeffrey Epstein.
I mean, this is a real human drama here because this guy hired Jeffrey Epstein to just manage his money, gave him power of attorney, which by the way, I don't know if you know what power of attorney means, but it means that Jeffrey Epstein controls everything.
You know, like in the event of like Les Wexner is incapacitated or whatever.
Jeffrey Epstein, if he has a stroke, whatever happens, Epstein controls like all of it because maybe Epstein knows where the bodies are buried, metaphorically, I'm saying.
So Les Wexner has this incredibly close business relationship with this man, and I imagine a personal relationship as well.
And this guy, Jeffrey Epstein, turns out to be a money laundering human trafficker.
And Les Wexner is completely caught off guard and he's blown away by this.
He's blown away by this.
And it's shocking.
And Epstein has intelligence connections to the CIA and to the Mossad and probably other intelligence agencies.
And so he's like living in this weird world.
He's like a spook.
He's a money launderer.
He's like, he's connected to all these different powerful people.
And he's running an operation that's a multifaceted operation that involves trafficking children, that involves, you know, making large sums of money disappear, that involves back channeling with world leaders at the behest of current and former government employees, other world leaders, prime ministers, presidents.
Ghislaine Maxwell's invited onto a 9-11 commission.
All the files around 9-11 are blacked out.
Like they haven't released any of the files that are anywhere near 9-11 that involve Jeffrey Epstein, any of these Epstein files.
They literally say that there's certain files they don't want out because national security sources and methods.
And the scam there is basically saying, well, if we put out these files, other countries will know how we get information, who our sources were and the methods we used.
And so we can't have that because then we'd be completely now.
Number one, mind you, we rely much less now on human intelligence.
We rely a lot on satellite intelligence and tech and everything like that.
That's why Thiel and Palmer Lucky and all these guys are getting huge contracts with the government.
It's because the future of warfare and intelligence gathering, like the future of all things, is very tech centric.
So the idea of like the spy sitting in Morocco having coffee, that's still a thing.
There's still human intelligence, but it's a very interesting sell to go.
So these sources and methods that we used 20, 30 years ago, you know, a lot of them were, so when we compiled these files, we don't want to let them out because then people would know how we, you know, and it's a big lie.
Sources and methods is a lie.
You can release stuff without sources and methods.
It's a lie.
It's again, it's just saying we don't want to put it out because you're going to start talking about what the hell, what was 9-11?
Because no one even knows what it was, by the way.
No one knows what it was.
There's a belief that Osama bin Laden, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Al-Qaeda, which was, you know, this kind of, it was a group that ran weapons to a lot of, you know, other, you know, dissident groups and stuff like that.
And that they had hatched this plot and they had hatched it at a meeting in Kuala Lumpur, which was, by the way, heavily surveilled by a lot of intelligence services.
And we should have known about this plot at some point.
And then, you know, Khalid Amindar and Al-Hazmi and all these hijackers that were allowed into America and they were being surveilled, but the FBI never told the CIA about that because there was a wall between the FBI and the CIA, which did exist, but, you know, it does seem like an important piece of information.
So, and some of these people were trained in American flight schools.
And then some of these people were victims of mistaken identity.
And it turns out that some of the hijackers we thought were hijackers weren't exactly hijackers.
And no one knows why Building 7 fell.
And nobody knows why there's a tiny hole in the wall of the Pentagon.
And again, you have to just dance around with logic.
You just have to dance around and go, well, you know, this is the way things happen.
And, you know, technically a plane could fly at that rate of speed, very low to the ground for a long time and not clip any light poles or not clip anything and have nobody really see it.
And then go into the Pentagon and then go through four solid walls of steel and then punch out a little hole, whatever.
And Building 7, actually, there were fires in Building 7 that were burning all day because of debris from the other falling buildings.
Whatever.
And, you know, there's a lot of people that think that it's bunk, to be honest.
They think there's something there.
There's something wrong.
There's something weird about it.
But all of the Epstein files around 9-11 are blacked out.
Now, of course, I don't know what happened on 9-11.
Nobody knows what happened on 9-11.
We haven't read any of the files.
We just, there's a lot of people, including myself, who doubt that the official story is what we're being told.
And people tried to find more out about this.
There was a Senator Graham, Phil Graham, Florida.
I believe his name is Phil Graham.
Yeah.
And I think Senator Graham might have been Bob Graham.
Get up, Senator Florida, 9-11 Graham.
I just don't want to say it was the wrong Graham.
And this guy was trying to find out.
Yeah, Senator Bob Graham.
So this guy was trying to find out more about 9-11, the Saudi connection, whatever.
He was trying to dig deeper into 9-11 and he kept getting shut down and he kept getting threatened by the FBI.
Doubting The Official Story00:07:42
They were like, hey, hey, buddy, hey, Bob.
Bob?
I love that name because that's exactly how they called him.
They're like, Bob.
Bob.
What are you doing?
Because he didn't understand.
He was like, I'm just trying to get information here.
And they kept shutting him down.
They would harass him, harass his family, and stop him at the airport.
All this shit, right?
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So there's a lot in these files and it's fucking weird.
And anyone who says it's not weird, I don't know.
It's crazy.
So here's Les Wexner again, victim of Jeffrey Epstein, caught in a tangled web of lies, phased to confront the fact that his best friend, business partner was some type of con artist, human trafficker, money launderer.
Here it is, Les Wexner.
Answer the question.
Let's see a little bit of more of what he says here.
Give you a long answer, but to understand in context, because if I just say yes or no, you won't understand it.
Right.
I really want this whole group to understand it.
And I never would have guessed I was being conned.
Right.
Never ever.
Right.
The deceit was so subtle.
Yes.
Yes.
It's sad.
This is sad.
We all appreciate the stories.
We're just trying to answer.
Right.
Don't tell too many stories.
That's very helpful.
Thank you.
Stop with the stories.
Could I ask you, I think you said in the last hour, it was your understanding that Mr. Epstein, while he was working for you, also had other clients.
Is that right?
Yes.
So would that mean that his work for you, you understood it to be part-time?
Right.
Think, think, think, think.
Don't say he's full-time.
Don't say he's full-time.
I wouldn't describe it that way.
Right.
Don't describe it.
It's part-time.
I knew it wasn't full-time.
I thought it was in full-time.
That's right.
Good.
That's right.
It's not full-time you.
That's right.
Substance.
As a listener, it sounds like a lot of demands that you described.
We all got caught.
Of course, are one of the wealthiest people in the country managing all of your personal affairs.
What does that mean?
I can't get conned?
Pause that.
Just because I'm one of the wealthiest people in the country, I can't have my friend let me down in a major way.
My friend let me down in a major way.
Like, wait, just because I'm rich, I shouldn't, I am not allowed to have my friend let me down in a major way.
I'm not allowed to be sad that my accountant got shot in the face randomly.
I'm not allowed to be sad that my accountant got shot in the head.
I'm not allowed to be sad that my best friend turned out to be a human trafficker and it was stealing money just because I'm rich.
That, folks, is classism and it's wrong.
Rich people bleed.
Rich people hurt.
Truly, it's not right.
I'm going to put my foot down here.
I actually am.
The abuse of this billionaire in front of us, making him have this realization in front of everyone that he's been so taken advantage of by his best friend, Jeffrey Epstein.
This guy is so befuddled and hurt.
He doesn't even know whether Epstein worked for him full-time.
He doesn't think it was full-time.
He wouldn't characterize it as that.
But that's how hurt this man is.
Because emotions are odd things.
You know, I saw my parents get divorced.
And of course, it's different because they shared a child.
I don't think these men shared a child.
They might have shared several.
Here's the thing.
That's comedy, folks.
But, you know, what I'm saying here, and it's horrible, obviously, in jail, jail, killing, death, guillotine, whatever, you know, when we find this stuff out, but not for him, because he strikes me as innocent.
I could be a poor judge of character, but just his face here.
He's so, number one, he's very, I like how forthcoming he is going, I'm gonna, I want you to understand the answers, but my lawyer's telling me not to answer the questions.
So I have to answer them in like five words or less or yes or no, because this is a legal thing.
I want to tell you stories and kind of like get into the nitty-gritty here, but my lawyer has advised me to just answer yes or no.
And then really we're going to leave here and really think about what we're doing.
But I desperately want to tell you more about this betrayal.
Let's hear a little bit more here about this betrayal.
And with, sounds like that was an issue with the guy before Epstein.
How was he able to do that job, but also do work for other clients at the same time?
Well, I think Peg does the work now.
I think you could supervise the work, overview it.
Right.
Which isn't the work that I do.
Right.
And say you could do really thorough work if you were doing it three or four days a month, certainly a week or a day or any day a month, just focusing on these things because there were accountants and tax lawyers and other people.
And then which in setting up as an example, I wouldn't, I didn't have the idea to inventory furniture or value.
Look at the lawyer.
By the way, the lawyer, the lawyer, stop it for a minute.
The lawyer, the lawyer is looking at him and the lawyer is saying, I'm telling you right now, stop talking.
The lawyer is like, less, you can't talk because the more you talk, the more obvious it's going to be that you're incredibly guilty here.
Yale Waitress Gut Instincts00:02:42
So don't don't talk because on its face, the idea that this guy was just swindled by Jeffrey Ebenezer has no idea what's going on is completely insane.
It's completely insane.
And everyone with any, any, an IQ above 12 knows this, okay?
The dumbest people in the world know this.
In fact, dumb people get this stuff actually sometimes better than smart people.
It's very interesting.
If you talk to someone who went to Yale about this case, and I'm not, and by the way, I'm not saying that like working class people are dumb because I was going to use the example, like if you go to a diner and talk to a diner waitress, and I'm not saying she's dumb, but like the people that we've decided are smart versus the people that we, and I'm sure that the people at Yale obviously have, you know, high IQ people, they're whatever, they're, you know, they're really good at test taking and their whole lives have, you know, they've been bred for Yale.
But if you went to a diner in Wisconsin and you told a diner waitress this story, she would be more correct than someone who went to Yale.
Because someone who went to Yale would be focusing usually on a lot of the wrong things.
And somebody who went to Yale would have a very tough time with any of the elements of this that seemed conspiratorial.
They'd have a real hard time.
They'd go, I just don't think things work that way.
I just don't think it happens that way.
I just don't think it works that way.
I just think that that's a little convenient.
I just think.
And a diner waitress in Wisconsin would go, yeah, no, they're in cahoots.
She'd go, they're in cahoots.
It's obvious they're in cahoots.
That's all she'd have to say.
She'd be cracked because she, your gut instincts can be destroyed sometimes by a, like, overly, like an overly cerebral approach to things.
can sometimes destroy your gut instincts.
You might feel a certain way, but you might have to, when you're analyzing it, you might be considering all of these different options and then giving weight in your head to options that you know in your gut are either less likely to be true or are not true.
Level Eleven Decisions00:12:50
So when I've talked about this stuff with people, the people on the upper echelon of society that have gone to these schools and have been in the circles of supposedly the smart set, the chattering class, the people that are intelligent, they're looking at this in a cerebral way going, well, it's actually not the thing that's right in front of your face.
It could be 10 things.
They don't discount that it could be the thing that's right in front of your face, but they go, but it also could be those other nine things.
And you go, could it?
Could it?
Maybe.
Let's watch the rest of this.
Les Wexner.
Solar wearing your house.
They didn't count forks and spoons.
Right.
Jeff said people could be walking out with forks and spoons.
Right.
Now, stop that.
Stop that.
Here's folks, The CEO of Victoria's Secret just said that Les Wexner said that Jeffrey Epstein was telling him to inventory furniture and forks and spoons because people might be leaving Les Wexner's house with forks and spoons.
He just said this.
He just said this.
He said, you know, Jeffrey was, I want you to play this again to go back a few seconds.
This is something that's truly remarkable.
I want you to hear this again.
This is the CEO of Victoria's Secret claiming that Epstein, who he hired to manage all of his money, had alerted him to the danger that if you didn't inventory forks and spoons, because Les Wexner said, I don't count forks.
By the way, neither do I, Les.
We have something in common.
It's your boy.
We have something in common because I've never counted fork.
And you could come to my house and steal forks.
And I would never know.
Just putting it out there, thiefs.
I want you to hear this again because at first glance, it seems insane.
But think about it.
It makes a lot of sense.
A guy like Les Wexner has to protect himself from fork theft.
Understand?
So that's where Jeffrey Epstein came in.
Even as lawyers looking at him like, well, this is an odd example.
Even as lawyers like, this is why we got to keep it to five, les, five words or less, because now we're like, you're talking about forks and knives and spoons.
Les Wexner on what Jeffrey Epstein did for him.
Let's go.
How could you have all silverware in your house?
They didn't count forks and spoons.
And it's like, Jeff said, people could be walking out with forks and spoons.
Gee, that's a good idea.
We ought to have an inventory.
I hired a lady to be like the house manager who had run the U.S. embassy in Rome.
And she said, yeah, I know how to do this.
Hold on, hold on a minute.
Hold on a minute.
I have a house manager.
This guy just said he hired a house manager who ran the U.S. Embassy in Rome.
What is going on in your house?
My house manager is from Queens.
She screams at me and we fight about tile.
She buys lamps I don't like and I make her take them back.
We have a party every summer in the Hamptons and we get in fights with local caterers and we hire a Carvel truck to come.
This man, who does have a nicer home than me, for sure, this guy, this guy just said he hired a house manager who managed the U.S. Embassy in Rome.
I feel that she might be overqualified.
But again, we can get rid of him.
I do appreciate his him, him.
I do appreciate him being honest because I feel that that really is what we need more of in this story.
We need more of honesty.
And when a man like that is swindled, it's very simple.
He hired Jeffrey Epstein.
Epstein's like, we got to start inventorying the furniture, the knives and forks.
People could be stealing your silverware.
And Les Wexer is like, well, that's what a good thought.
I never thought that.
Here's all of my money.
Let me give you power of attorney over literally all of my assets because you came up with this.
What a brilliant.
I had never thought that billionaires face that kind of silverware threat, but they do.
But do you see why the lawyer's like, we can't even talk?
You can't even say anything that's more than five words.
The lawyer knows how crazy the lies are.
Les Wexner has not had the lie in a long time.
His lies are crazy.
He's like, well, Jeff said, you know, how many spoons do you have?
I don't know how many spoons I have.
People are walking out with spoons.
And these are silver spoons.
They're heavy.
When you put them on the teacup, you hear the clink.
This is real silver.
And Jeff came to me and said, what about the forks?
Les, what about the forks?
And I went, right, right.
And he said, why don't you hire the woman who ran the U.S. Embassy in Rome to manage the silverware?
And I said, this is a great idea.
For this tip, I'm going to give you all of my money now.
And then he purchased Jeffrey Epsy, the largest private residence in Manhattan.
And you know why?
Because forks are a lot of fucking money.
And Jeff saved him money and forks and spoons.
Jeff saved him a lot of forks and spoons.
Before we leave, this has been a very fun episode.
And I'm sorry it's late, but before we leave, we have to get up.
My other new best friend, not my new white black guy, who I love, but my other new best friend is my Indian friend, Kash Patel.
And I love Kash Patel, number one, because of his character, but number two, because of his commitment to justice.
Dan Bongino and Kash Patel.
It's from the very great Shadows of Ezra account here.
Kash Patel and Dan Bongino have decided to have a podcast.
Like they're going to do, they're doing a podcast because Dan Bongino left the FBI and is now doing a podcast again.
And Kash Patel is back on his podcast.
And here we go.
Let's just let it speak for itself.
I don't know if you can even set this up.
Dan Bongino, Kash Patel, friends of the show, here describing how difficult it is to cover up a pedophile rig.
Metzka.
Everything's a level 10 decision, Cash.
A level 10, meaning there's a, pardon the language, but a shitty decision and a shittier one.
Because if there was a good decision to be made, someone else made it.
And then when those decisions, that's every day.
I know you know this because I would knock on your door and you'd be like, what now?
And I'd be like, here we go again.
Like something else will come up.
But I just want to put into perspective for folks out there, when that decision can't even be made by me, it goes to you.
When it doesn't go to you, it goes like to the president's desk.
He's dealing with like level 11 decisions.
And that's the thing in D.C. is that's why the batting average isn't always going to be a thousand.
There's no good call to be made or someone else would have made it.
There's just really tough decisions where, you know, there's a shit call and a shittier call.
And listen, that's what we signed up for.
That's how it rolls.
Look, yeah, these are difficult decisions, Dan.
That's why you volunteered to jump back in.
It wasn't just going to be, hey, we're going to do this job.
It's going to be super easy.
We're not going to have to make any hard decisions.
And we're not going to have to combat a press corps that has largely been biased and full of inaccurate reporting.
But we made those decisions collectively in the best interest of the nation.
And if we hadn't, then none of this would be true.
None of this would be possible.
If President Trump had made the hard decisions to allow us and give us the resources that we need and to back the blue and law enforcement to prioritize working with state and local authorities, then we wouldn't be able to do what we did.
But you're right.
We had a lot of hard decisions.
That comes with the territory of the job.
But once you look outside of the cauldron of Washington, D.C., and this is one of the things that, you know, I'm trying to remind myself of every day.
Outside of here, there is a different America than the one that lives in the national capital region.
And I try to remind myself every day when making those difficult decisions that you talked about that we make our face.
Stop it for a.
What the fuck are these people talking about?
What in God's name are these two people talking about?
Can anyone even venture a guess at this point?
They make Les Wexner look like an open book.
What are these two ghouls talking about?
What in the fuck are they talking about?
Resources, decisions.
Outside of D.C., there's people that live outside of D.C.
Yeah.
That's what he learned.
Two years running, a year running the FBI, he learned that people live outside of the state of Virginia.
This is what he learned?
Did he learn that there's a population outside of the District of Columbia?
That's all he learned.
I mean, this is like the craziest thing I've ever heard.
I realize that there were people that live outside of the capital city.
Yeah, actually, this is going to shock him.
Most people.
And they also hate him.
Does he think he's beloved when he gets out of DC?
I mean, this guy's out of his mind.
Does this guy think the problem's geography?
Does he think when he leaves D.C., people think this has gone well?
Does he think the problem's a zip code issue?
Does he think confidence in his leadership builds once he's outside of the beltway?
What are these people speaking of?
TimBillonComedy.com.
You have shows on sale in Long Island and Jersey.
Three shows sold out of the Paramount.
I believe close to sold out.
There are some tickets left.
Mother's Day weekend.
Bring your mothers out.
Long Island women really deserve a break.
You know, they work so damn hard.
They work so damn hard drinking and complaining.
Also, a couple of shows in Jersey, Atlantic City and Bergen or something.
Maybe we're going to announce something too for South by Southwest.
It might be fun.
Go down there to Austin, Texas, greatest city in the country, actually.
Why not spend a weekend there in Austin?
Spend a night there, night or two.
Nothing crazy.
We always appreciate you listening.
We're sorry it's late.
I think it's worth it.
And let's all really remember that let's take a lesson from Les Wex.
Our friends may let us down.
They may let us down.
And I would just, as an audience, I would just like to thank you for giving me the resources to make the tough decisions.
Every decision we make here on the Tim Dillon show is a nine.
And some of them are an 11.
Some of them are a 911.
Redacted.
We don't know.
Three months.
No emails.
But I just want to let you know that you give me the authority to make the hard decisions and you give me the resource.
Because if I didn't have the resources to make the decisions, then someone might be walking out of my house with forks.