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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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China's Transgender Presenter Fame00:15:01
My tripletex, I think.
Tripletex pedric, but you can't get away from the children.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show here.
It is Thanksgiving weekend.
We are pre-recording this show quite a few days before the actual holiday.
We have many, many things to do.
We've got a real special guest coming up that'll come out on Monday.
Yeah.
Next week.
Next week.
And then we're taking a little holiday.
So you've got, you're going to have two episodes to binge, and then we'll see you in December, probably, or late November.
However, that works.
And I'm very excited about this guest.
Noah Tishby coming back on.
Why am I?
Why would I stop?
Why would I ever stop?
I'll never stop trying to get Noah to come back on this show and tank it further in views.
That episode tanked so badly that I should have Hezbollah on every day for a week because that thing ate it.
What are you going to do?
Timothy Chalamet.
What's going on over here in Japan?
Or I think he's promoting the Wonka film.
I just don't love this.
Let's just take a look at this here.
I don't, I mean, that is that.
Are they in the film?
No, no.
So they're just making it.
It feels like those children have been, they've had to do that and food has been withheld from them until they did it just like that.
Like, I feel like I don't, even he seems like he's like, oh, whoa, what's going on?
Wow.
One more time here.
It's just uncomfortable.
Are they children or are they like, do they have a disease where they're like 30?
Like the Derby girl.
Like, I am, I will never, I am a huge fan right now of is it Zhaozhao and Wu Long?
Get up, Zhaozhao and Wu Long.
Zhaozhao is a 36-year-old.
Yeah, this one.
Go to the third one down there.
This is a good one.
She is from a province in China and she's big on Chinese TikTok.
And her friend Wu Long is kind of a hunchback, and Zhaozhou has her own issues.
But and this transgender presenter in China, China seems kind of fun.
Like, I know that we're all supposed to be afraid of China, but if this is what's going on in China, count me in.
They've got this transgender presenter who's very polished and put together, who looks very good.
She's like going the full, you know, she's really, she's going the full, you know, whatever it is, you know, doing it.
I don't want to say right, but doing it well.
It's nice.
You know, I'm going to get in trouble for saying this and I, and people are going to get angry with me.
And I don't know.
I'm just saying sometimes it's nice to see a transgender person really try.
Do you understand what I mean?
Because I like effort in every part of life.
Do you understand?
It's not, I'm only, I'm not simply requiring it of someone who's transitioning or changing genders.
I want it all over the place.
But I do like it when I see someone who is transgender really commit to it and really try to the best of their own financial ability.
Mark Norman used to have a great joke about that where he was like, people say this one's brave.
She's just rich or whatever, you know.
But I like to see somebody try, which this host in China is doing.
And this is kind of like, I guess, a Chinese American idol in a way.
I don't know if that's what it is, but let's give everyone a taste of this.
If you don't know who these people are, this will be cultural prediction here.
This will be more common.
We are going to find people that are deformed because this is kind of the final phase of society where it's really the barbarism is coming.
Every week I try not to do this, by the way.
Like every week I go, I drive here and I go, you know, I know why I'm not as big as like other people.
It's just because it's like, how much can you take of this, right?
Like even me, like even me sometimes, right?
I'm like, how much can I take?
Like I want to do other things.
Like I had a nice friend's giving.
I talk about that.
I could talk about entertaining.
I like, I like throwing, you know, parties and seeing people get together.
Who cares, right?
But I get it.
Like, like I was like, today on the way here, I was like, I'm not going to do the whole, it's all the empire is falling.
I'm not going to do it.
But I really, sometimes I don't want to do it.
But it's just, it's now what is there.
It's so if it's, you know, there's, it's, it's hard to infer anything else from the news is my point.
It's difficult.
I try to to infer.
We're going to go later.
Fox News literally has an article that's like, here's how you can have a Thanksgiving without killing people that you know because they're so used to the people that watch Fox News as being like, I guess, like monsters that they literally every line is like, well, you know, you don't, you know, don't keep a loaded gun at the table.
Like it's such a crazy article.
But what I mean here about Zhao Zhao and Wulang and I think why they're an important, you know, I know that, I mean, even as I say this, it seems insane.
But what's important about Zhao Zhao and Wu Lang is that I believe what's coming is a real fascination with deformed people, kind of freaks.
It's going back to the 1920s as it was in the beginning, as it shall be in the end.
I believe we are going back to the kind of tent era depression tent era carnival sideshow circus.
This is what I believe.
This is kind of the final form of a lot of the trends that we've seen on the internet.
These people are probably being abused.
They're being used, but they're getting their fame.
And, you know, people are going to say this is a good thing.
You know, people, people debate this.
They go, these people are being abused.
And then other people go, no, they're not.
They love it.
And no one knows what's going on because no one lives in this crazy province of China.
But I think her family's probably like, we're making a little bit of money here.
People like to, she's an oddity.
She's an oddity.
And this was the thinking behind the freak show, right?
This person is an oddity, but why not pay money to see them?
Because, so this is what a lot of TikTok has become.
We are putting humans on display and human oddities.
And we are marveling at them.
We're gawking.
And the latest manifestation of this is Zhao Zhao and Wu Long, who, by the way, I feel an affection for both of them and I enjoy what they're doing.
Zhao Zhao is kicks and hits because she's often angry at others, which I often feel very enraged.
And I feel kind of envious of her, of her ability to kind of just kind of Wu Long, her friend, who only I've read about them for several hours.
And Wu Long, I'm at a party.
It's funny, you know, I had this Friendsgiving, and I, I, you know, you talk, what I like about it is you don't talk to anyone for that long.
You do your little thing with everybody.
You go over to Caitlin Jenner.
How are you?
She's talking about patriotism.
Love it.
Go over to Barry Weiss.
What's your deal?
The Jews?
Good.
Moving on.
We go over to Tana Mongeau.
Like her.
What's going on with the pussy?
You're just quick, quick in and out.
Bobby Lee, lovely to meet your girl.
This one, that one, that one.
You know, Santino, a bunch of people came.
But for a lot of the party, I was reading about Zhaozhao and Wu Long because I was transfixed.
And they said this all started because Zhaozhao, they were doing some type of benefit for Zhaozha.
They brought her out.
She sang a song or people liked it.
Supposedly Wu Long only spoke one word before she started doing social media.
These are the Chinese D'Amilios.
You know how we have Charlie D'Amilio and Dixie D'Amilio?
This is what they have.
And I take these two over the D'Amilios any day of the week.
Without further ado, if you don't know them, you will.
They're going to be household names.
Is this show part of the problem or part of the solution?
I don't know.
I don't know if there's a real difference.
Xiao, Xiao, and Mulan.
Now, if that's what Wonka was, I'd watch it.
Zhaozhou and Wulong, find them, support them on other channels.
Wu Long doesn't sing often.
She's chill, but she does sing sometimes.
You know, this is what's happening.
This is where life is going.
Fox News just ran an article.
Fox News likes to run articles occasionally where they're basically like, listen, Occasionally, you're going to go into the world and, you know, a friend of mine lives down in Florida, just opened a QAnon store.
This is true.
She opened a QAnon boutique in like a, in a old motel.
In Florida, they just let you transact business, which I like.
So they have these old motels.
And we'll talk about the commercial real estate crash in a little bit too.
But she opened this kind of, it's just a QAnon store.
It just looks like a hoarder's house.
She's got like games from the 90s that kids can buy in like fun Trump sweatshirts.
It's just a QAnon boutique in Florida for people that are older, that are in the area and want to go to the QAnon store, you know?
And so what Fox News has to do every now and then is run an article where they're basically like, hey, you're going to have relatives that don't shop at your QAnon store and you're going to have to eat turkey with them.
How do you do it?
How do you do it if someone, it's very funny because the whole premise of the whole thing is like, someone's coming to your house.
They don't agree with you.
How can you do it?
How to handle combative relatives during the holidays.
Welcome to attend with conditions.
And this is on the Fox News website because Fox News, by the way, for years has been promoting all manner of crazy things like a lot of news organizations do.
MSNBC, any of them, their job, if you watch the primetime lineup, is not to inform you.
The job is to wind you up and send you out into the world like a whirling dervish where you are just anywhere you can go spread the gospel.
But now they're right, every now and then they'll throw out an article where they're like, hey, it's Thanksgiving.
So, okay, there might be people that show up at your house that do not, they're not, they don't get it like you get it.
They're not in the program like you're in the program.
They don't know about the underground tunnels.
You do.
So you're going to have to just make a choice.
You're going to have to ban them from speaking or you're going to have to set boundaries because it's your house and you get to decide what's real and what's not in your house.
This is your reality.
They're stepping into your reality.
So whatever you've decided is the truth, they got to subscribe to that.
Holiday Family Boundary Battles00:15:28
Quote, if you're worried about the possibility of fights or quarrels or over any number of topics during the holiday season, mental health experts, which by the way, what a great term and God only knows.
Mental health experts shared strategies and insights for how to diffuse arguments and how to speak to relatives about your concerns.
Don't buy into the belief that you have a perfect family or that the holiday will be perfect, said Jonathan Alpert, a psychotherapist and executive performance coach.
Right.
Right.
Always, right?
Right?
Go back up.
executive performance coach.
It's always something else when these experts weigh in.
It's never like just some type of doctor.
It's like doctor and con artist, like psychotherapist and con artist and, you know, Primerica executive.
It's a psychotherapist.
and Sal's Mary Kay cosmetics.
This person has practices in Manhattan and Washington, D.C. and author of the book, Be Fearless, Change Your Life in 28 Days, which, you know, I'm sure has a lot of valuable information on being fearless and changing your life in 28 days, if you'd want to.
By adjusting your expectations, you're less likely to be disappointed and stressed should something not go according to plan, and you'll be able to take the pressure off yourself.
If you know in advance there's bad blood between relatives, what can you do?
Talk to people ahead of time.
Hold a conversation with them separately about your expectations of their behavior, said Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do.
So Fox just tells you, if you will plug your books, just weigh in.
Weigh into this article about how people can behave.
We got to give advice to our regular viewers about how they can behave like people for two hours out of the year.
Weigh in here and we'll plug your book about 13 things mentally strong people don't do.
Hint number 13, look at the poor.
They don't do it because they're mentally strong.
Make it clear that they're welcome to attend, but that arguing or rude behavior won't be tolerated.
After all, you have others to think about, including your loved ones and possibly your children and many other people you care about deeply.
Refuse to take sides.
Reconsider serving alcohol.
Can you ever just pick one relative over another?
Yes.
You can certainly just pick one relative over the other.
Sometimes family rifts stem from serious issues like childhood abuse, crime, or substance abuse.
You don't have to invite people to your home just because they are related to you.
Right.
So if someone in your family raped everyone in the family, Fox News is telling you you don't have to invite them.
But what if they agree with me?
Well, that's tough.
That's hard.
If the rapist is on your side politically, it becomes different, you know?
You're a neutral party who wants to invite everyone and you aren't interested in listening to complaints about the other person.
You might decide to pick one relative because you want them to feel emotionally safe or because you want them to attend the gathering and they wouldn't if the other person was there.
Do you warn both people to be on their best behavior ahead of time?
Who is this for?
Who is this?
Who is this for?
What person is sitting at home going, God, I just, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know how to do it.
Look at this.
What if the relative isn't at odds with a particular guest, but just has a combative personality?
Fox is they're basically like, what if this person is going to come there and say something you're uncomfortable with?
What do you do?
What can you do?
How do you turn your Thanksgiving table into a fascist dictatorship of which you are the dictator?
That's really what it comes down to.
That's the whole article.
The whole article is like, because they bury it in the mental health crap, which they don't care about at all.
And they're basically like, yeah, how can you avoid disagreement?
How could you avoid disagreement?
Now, several people have the benefit of armies or intelligence services that will disappear people that disagree with them.
Now, you may not have the financial wherewithal to do that, or you may live in a type of place where murdering is outright illegal.
So what you have to do is find different ways to shut down anyone that would disagree with you about anything.
Because we're here at Fox.
We know what you want to do.
We know what you want to do.
You've hosted the event and you've hosted the event because you want to basically get everyone around the table and yell and scream about the Guatemalans.
Now, that's fine, but someone might ruin this by going, hey, they're people, kinda, right?
Like the softest defense, they might provide like the thinnest defense of, for example, like somebody at the kitchen table might be like, you know, it feels like 12,000 people is a lot of people to kill in Gaza.
They'd be like, you're out of line.
You're turning this holiday upside down, you sick fuck.
Fox News, how do you turn your Thanksgiving into a fascist dictatorship where everyone is afraid to have a different opinion?
Look at this.
I love this.
How do you keep hot topics out of the conversation?
Fox goes, this is very difficult to do as we cannot control other people.
By the way, this is not, there's no idea here.
Like, so we're supposed to believe that the person who's reading this on foxnews.com is just an innocent wallflower who's terrified.
This is the Fox Newswatcher.
They're terrified about people coming to their house and starting up.
It's very difficult to do as we cannot control other people.
However, if and when hot topics come up, you can set a boundary by saying something like, let's not get into XYZ.
It can be controversial and we're all having a good time.
Why don't we talk about ABC instead?
Can you say to a relative, I can't have this in my home again.
I can't have this in my home again like last year.
And by it, I mean your mixed race child.
I think it would be better if you visited another day.
As challenging as it may be to tell a relative not to come to a holiday, it might be what it is.
It's just the premise of this is hilarious.
The idea that like a Fox News watcher is like, well, we just like to have a Thanksgiving that's uncomplicated, but then people come in with all their ideas, all their ideas.
And me and my husband just sit there and we're just sitting there and serving everybody turkey and reading Mein Kampf.
But then these kids come in with their ideas.
Think about what is in the best interest of the group.
How Orwellian is all this?
That's it, yeah.
So Orwellian.
A conversation like this can lead to hard feelings, but having a relative come over who does not get along with other relatives can also lead to hard feelings.
What is it?
Like, what world are we living in where there's articles being written about like, hey, man, someone might come to your house and you might have a disagreement.
Here's a 10-point plan to make sure that doesn't happen.
I mean, how crazy is that?
And then everybody's like, well, everybody's in a bubble.
Everyone's in a, why is everyone in such a bubble?
Everyone's in a feedback loop.
Nobody's, yeah, because you have articles telling people the mildest disagreement.
Like, make sure, draw the lines, draw the battle lines before they get there.
Let them know.
It's like, guys, let shit fly.
Let it fucking happen.
It's Thanksgiving.
That's what it's supposed to be.
People are supposed to disagree and fight.
It's supposed to be uncomfortable.
People are supposed to sit on a couch, you know, in that triptophan haze, you know, in a coma from the turkey.
And they're supposed to just, you know, start fighting, you know, about nonsense.
That's the whole point of the holiday.
They're supposed to argue.
Everybody is so ill-informed at a holiday party.
It's great.
And then they're all tired and drunk and they don't really know what they're talking about.
And that's when you get real raw, fun collisions of bad ideas that both parties have.
And that's what we should do.
Why are we trying to avoid that?
It's the literal point of the holiday.
It's the point of the holiday.
You don't care about seeing your cousin for the most part.
It's fun to watch stuff pop off.
When my father and his wife brought their dogs to my grandmother's house and my uncle flipped out and screamed about it, and he was in the right, by the way.
You just stop bringing your dogs places if they're not invited.
It's just what it is.
I love my father and his wife, but I'm just saying in this particular instance, I thought my uncle had a point there.
You know, I think that's good.
Why avoid that?
You know, I grew up in an Irish family where people fought a lot, sometimes physically.
There was a lot of, you know, a lot of loud people, a lot of opinions, a lot of hostility being expressed.
I think that's incredibly healthy.
I don't think avoiding all of that is good.
I think it's part of the fun.
Part of the fun of a Thanksgiving is to get it going.
Like if you're a young person, tell them you're in Hamas at Thanksgiving.
Go, I am in Hamas.
Show up in a hijab.
Give your grandmother a stroke and then just go, I'm kidding.
Tell them you converted to Islam in the car on the way over.
Have fun.
You only live what these are the memory.
You're making memories.
I mean, what's the point?
Everything that has any value is a controversial topic for the most part.
So, I mean, I guess you could just talk about yourselves like a bunch of narcissists, but immediately get it, immediately get into the Middle East.
It's why they're fighting over there so we can talk about it at our Thanksgiving table.
That's why it's happening.
What do you think?
Hamas did it with a bunch of power guy.
You think they did it for nothing?
They did it so that you could talk about it while you stuff marshmallows in your face.
That's the benefit of living in America up until the point everybody nukes us, which is coming.
But the benefit of living in America is being able to discuss things that have real consequences for other people.
And you get to discuss them quite flippantly and casually.
You get to discuss life and death decisions pretty casually with no information.
It's all like kind of game of thronesy with the goblets of wine and eating their turkey.
Well, you get better.
You got to kill them.
You got to kill them.
Well, they have to do it because they're under the hospital.
That's why you don't know because they're in schools, those people.
So the kids are at the school, but you got to kill the people under the school.
That's where it is.
That's what you have to do.
This is the benefit of being an American.
The benefit of being an American is that you get to engage quite casually in discussions and topics that they have real consequences for people all over the world.
And you get to just sound off on them.
From the minute you can talk, you're allowed to do this.
And there's no better time to do it than the holidays.
There's no better time.
There's a captive audience.
Everybody's eating and drinking.
You don't see these people a lot.
It's good to see what they're into and about.
Why not?
Why avoid it?
What are you going to fucking talk about?
It's so boring if you're, if you're going to, like, I like a little bit of, and you know, we were pretty, we would fight about personal things, my family, more, more so than political.
But I don't think there's anything wrong with having a knockdown drag out by two ill-informed people on either side of an issue that don't really have any facts and are arguing to mask the emotional problems that they are having that don't have anything to do with this issue that they don't really care that much about.
I don't think there's anything wrong with masking the emotional pit of despair you were in because you're in a loveless marriage by screaming about Gaza.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
I think it's as American as apple pie.
If apple pie is American, going to Thanksgiving with your loveless wife, your loveless marriage, your wife who hates you and you hate her and you just, you know, you're just doing it.
Mattress Deal and Sportsbook Promo00:05:10
You're doing it because you've been doing it for a while.
But you know it's coming to an end.
And you know, dating after 40 ain't great.
And, you know, there's going to be a lot of lonely nights and you're going to have to get back on the horse.
And you know, your wife, you know, is basically, she's going to rebound a lot quicker than you and that bothers you too.
And you know, you know this.
You know it.
And as you drive your moderately expensive SUV to your brother's house, you always had more money than you.
He was always a little better looking than you.
His family's a little better than yours.
He cheats on his wife.
She doesn't really mind.
Or maybe she doesn't even know.
She's dumb.
She's from the South.
You should have married a Southern woman, but you didn't.
You married a New Yorker and she was smart.
She went to Vassar.
She was smarter than you.
She pretended she didn't want or care about money, but you know down deep she did.
And you know down deep she looks at your brother's house and his car and things like that.
All the things that she pretended not to care about.
Well, it turns out she was a fucking liar because she makes a lot of passive aggressive comments about your income level and it bothers you.
And you don't find her attractive and you haven't had sex in eight months.
And eight months ago, it was, you could barely get hard for her.
You're just not into it anymore.
But you can't go into that at Thanksgiving.
So you have to scream and yell about Gaza or trans kids or I don't know what's guns because you're in a pit of emotional pain and despair.
And it can only be solved one way.
And that way is by coming in with talking points and getting on a high horse and feeling morally superior.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
That's the point of the holiday is to mask your pain.
I think it's a beautiful thing.
And you can know when you are at your Thanksgiving, this has come out after Thanksgiving, but you can tell somebody's getting really into something.
Go, this isn't really about, this isn't about, you know, immigration, is it?
This is about something else.
You have other issues.
But listen, there's nothing wrong with the passionate exchange of ideas and information.
It's what America is about.
It's what America's about.
At nauseum, I keep repeating this.
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I go, yeah.
I'm telling you right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders and free sleep bundle for our listeners in honor of Black Friday.
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Go to helixleep.com slash Tim D.
This is actually really smart and a good thing to do.
They are the best beds I have.
Everybody loves them.
Shopping for a mattress is insane.
This salespeople are all like emotionally disturbed.
By the way, if you ever go to like a mattress salesman, it's like, you've got a tempurpedic in there and the people there are like sick.
Tim D is the code.
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You can take a quiz and the midnight deluxe is where it's at, but you can still take a quiz and they'll basically tell you what's the perfect mattress for you because maybe the mattresses my friends love and family are not the ones that your friends and family will love.
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And I got to read this whole thing, right?
Italics, yeah.
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The Need for Physical Offices00:03:56
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The commercial real estate crisis is deepening.
And it's something that suggests a reckoning is coming.
After COVID, people did not return to work.
They didn't.
Vacancy rates are high.
What's the big one that just went out of business?
We work.
WeWork was like Airbnb for companies.
They would just have these office spaces, thousands, tens of thousands of square feet for people that needed to work.
Now, everybody's working from home.
People don't go into offices as much.
People do not, you know, have those communities that they used to have.
I mean, offices are huge.
There are workplace comedies in America.
There was a hit show called The Office, right?
You're amputating a major part of American culture if you just send everybody into their house.
The office is where people meet their friends.
It's where people meet people they're going to marry.
It's where, you know, they have a lot of the formative experiences as a younger intern or as somebody.
You're looking at these old people in your office and you're going, fuck, I don't want to end up like that guy.
Or, God, you know, what I wouldn't give to end up like that guy.
And I worked in tons of them and I know exactly that that is what's happening.
And I worked with them as a young guy having those things.
When you it's very interesting to look at the evolution of a physical society into a digital one, which is what's happening, where the new office is a Zoom meeting.
It's a Microsoft meetup or whatever it's called, Google Hangout, whatever these things are called.
And that's the new office.
And people are not going into a physical structure and they are staying home and they are, you know, more isolated than they've been.
And they don't know their coworkers as well as they would have if they sat next to them or went to lunch with them.
When you are face to face with somebody, the relationship you build is different than the one that you build digitally.
This is just Mark Zuckerberg might, he might not want to hear that.
The people that are making billions of dollars shutting everybody into their homes and hooking them up to a computer like an IV don't want to hear that it is significant to be in someone's physical presence, sitting there, talking to them, hearing them.
Instead, diminishing everything to online is, I think, going to be quite a negative for people.
I don't think it's good for people to work number one.
I don't think it's good for people's marriages and this we saw this during the pandemic.
I think people have to get out, get out of their house.
You know I have lots of friends that work from home and some of them it works out.
But but some of them it's not working out.
Commercial Real Estate Foreclosures00:02:57
It's it's.
It's it's putting a strain on the marriage to be in the same house every minute of every day and they're, they don't have this social you know community that they had.
But commercial real estate is going to is probably going to collapse.
Uh, people cannot get loans.
The way the commercial mortgages work is that people are constantly refinancing them, they're constantly modifying them and if they can't get new loans, those things are hard to do and they head into foreclosure.
Um, this is from the post.
The commercial real estate market is headed for a severe collapse due to, in large part, sky-high interest rates and declining property values.
Nobody wants these properties anymore because they know it's not boom times.
They know they're not going to get the rents that they would want.
They know that a lot of these properties going to sit vacant.
When asked when they believe the price of office properties will hit bottom, 44 said they expected that to happen in the second half of next year, while 22 said it will be in the final six months of 2024.
Just six percent of the 919 respondents said that prices would bottom out this year.
So people think this is a long slide.
30 of people are saying it won't bounce back till 2025 or beyond.
The FED has raised rates aggressively over and over again and there is just less, which is why.
You know it's like you know my friend who's got a little Q Annon boutique in Florida.
You know it's in an old motel and it's kind of clever what they're doing there, because they have this old motel where you can set up a boutique of the MAGA SHIT and the Q?
Annon Memorabilia Regalia, why not?
Why not?
You know, i'm telling you right now some 270 billion in commercial real estate loans held by banks are set to mature in 2023 according to TREP.
Over the next four years, commercial real estate properties must pay off debt maturities that will peak at 550 billion.
According to analysts and Morgan Stanley, vacancy rates are at 30-year highs in many American cities.
Q1 of 2023.
New York City, vacancy rate, 22.2 percent.
That is the most dynamic city in the world, the largest central business district in the world.
New York wow.
Meaningless Work and Office Bonds00:14:46
San Francisco, I mean forget it.
The vacancy rate in San Francisco is, I don't know exactly what it is, but I imagine it's very high.
Oh, yeah.
And this is, this is a, this is a bigger story, I think, that people realize, because what it signifies is the collapse of a way of life for many people for a very long time.
It doesn't mean that it's going to be 33.9% vacancy rate, San Francisco, 34% vacant space, office buildings just sitting there, nobody working.
They go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good.
I'll do it from home.
Yeah, Donna came into work yesterday.
She got slashed.
What?
You know, Donna.
Well, Donna came into the office.
She got slashed across her face.
Yeah.
So listen, Tris, if you're going to come in, be careful.
Yeah, I think I'll just work from home.
That's fine, too.
But if you're going to just come in, like we're telling everyone to use the Market Street entrance because, you know, Donna used the kind of main entrance and somebody just came up to her and slashed her.
Thank God it was, you know, it wasn't a knife.
It was a pen.
But she has ink poisoning and they just kind of jabbed at her with a pen a few times.
But, you know, Donna, she's not a small woman and she fought back.
So, I mean, they're saying it's not nearly as bad as it should have been.
Well, anyway, get me that report when you can't.
Like, it's not a good time in San Francisco to get people into the office.
But I don't know where it is.
Like, I don't know where it, where people are, you know, obviously there's certain jobs you have to be in an office, but there's a lot of jobs.
People are doing them on the fly.
They're not, they're going to, they're like, fuck it, dude.
I'll work from Starbucks.
I don't give a shit.
I don't care.
It's going to be a thing of the past to go there, sit there, you have an office.
People used to take pride in their office.
They used to sit all day and they'd fuck their backup and they'd order big lunches and they'd do nothing really.
I mean, they would work for an hour or two and then, but this was people's life.
This is a big part of the Americana.
Going to the office, the crazy secretary, the boss who's riding you, your buddy Steve, the fantasy football group, crazy secretary Doreen.
You know, this is what Americana, we're losing Americana.
The hot receptionist you think you got a shot with, but you don't.
All of these things are being traded in for the sterile, horrible Zoom culture where a bunch of disheveled people from their disgusting homes log on to a hellscape.
It's really depressing to me.
I was a, you know, I'm a big proponent of work and I think offices are great.
You know, a lot of people don't like that.
My socialist comrades hate this because they envision that work has no meaning and life would be better if no one had to work.
Just like during the pandemic when no one had a job.
Remember how peaceful that was?
Remember how peaceful and ideal that was when nobody worked?
But I love offices.
I love them.
I like being in them.
I like being in them now.
And I know it's a terribly unpopular thing to say.
People hate them.
They're miserable.
I've been miserable in them too.
You got to plot your way out or your way up or something.
But they're not nearly as bad as it could be.
When you look at the way.
You know, there's a hell of a lot of people in developed countries, even countries like Russia as a developed country.
A lot of those people would love to go do data entry in a Long Island office and drink a cup of coffee with French vanilla creamer in it and sit their fat ass in a chair and just click.
I mean, listen, is it particularly inspiring?
No.
But when you look at the realities of lots of people's lives, it gives you a purpose.
We had this guy, George, used to deliver mail.
He was like deformed, or he had cancer, like melanomas on him.
But he came every day.
He was so happy to deliver the mail to the office.
He wasn't some schmuck delivering mail on the street.
Those people are pedophiles.
He was delivering it to the office.
And sometimes the big guy would come out and go, hey, George, and they remembered his name.
And like, where do people like that go?
Where do people like that?
Fat Natalia, she was so big, but she waddled in and sat her, and she was good at what she did.
Where do these people go?
Where do people go who derive a sense of purpose and belonging from their job?
Which is, again, something that a lot of people don't understand because they live in a fantasy world that everybody's going to have a Disney adventure on the planet and get absolutely everything they want.
And they have all of these passions that they just, they're like, this job's keeping me from my passion, man.
I got to go out there and show the world how special I am.
But like a lot of people actually derive a certain amount of fulfillment and meaning from their job in an office doing nothing.
It's not that important what they're doing.
They're just not sitting in their kitchen.
It's forced social interaction for a lot of these people.
And it worries me because I think if you get rid of these spaces and you just send people back, you know, back to their kitchen tables and companies hire less people, you just end up with a lot of disaffected, unemployed people that are even more isolated than they were before.
And that bothers me.
It's not a bad world, the corporate world, in the sense that it's miserable in the way, like I have friends in it, and all they do is complain how much they hate it.
But if you measure their lives against people's lives all over the place, they have superior lives.
They have superior lives to a lot of, not everybody, but a lot of people.
And I know it's the coolest thing in the world to be like, fuck the corporate world.
It sucks.
Everything sucks.
You have a fucking elevator.
Fucking lose.
This guy's on my back.
He wants this report or that.
But you know, listen, compared to what, what's the alternative?
What's the alternative?
I don't know.
Sitting in your home, sitting in the office you've made in your den?
I don't know, dude.
That just seems, I know people with a lot of freedom, and sometimes too much freedom is a bad thing.
I would love, even though I do what I do here, I would love to.
I would love to work a couple of days a week at a Geico.
I would love that.
I would absolutely love for a couple of days a week to just work at either a car insurance or something to just kind of have a, to have that feeling of like getting in there, you get your cup of coffee, sit down, you open folders, you open a couple of files, you get on the computer.
Here comes the emails.
We're all rolling each other.
We're all rolling eyes, looking at each other like, can you fucking believe?
Can you believe this?
Can you believe this cunt?
You know, you go out, you smoke a cigarette with somebody, you talk about the company, talk about the business.
It's nothing better than that.
There's nothing better than being in a dead-end job with other losers.
I'm telling you, all I'm around right now is successful, wealthy people.
It's terrible.
It's miserable and horrible.
Horrible.
They all just want to take ayahuasca.
So all these people want to do is, they're all so goddamn rich.
All they want to do is take ayahuasca and open their third eye and fourth eye and fifth eye.
They want to all keep just taking different forms of DMT until the aliens get so sick of them in hyperspace.
They keep going, you again?
These aliens are in the other dimension going, will you go to work?
Get a job.
All these people are just every need, you know, every like every need has been removed from their lives.
So they're just like endlessly trying to explore their inner child.
They're like fingering their inner child all the time.
It's like, it's so annoying.
Like you can barely have a real conversation with any of them because they're up their own ass so far that they're like, it's crazy.
So there's nothing better than being in a dead end job with broke losers who have given up because then you're going to actually have the best conversations.
Some of the deepest, realest conversations I've ever had with anybody have certainly not at my friends giving, but the deepest, realest conversation I've had with anybody have been outside of like a call center or a mortgage office or whatever, smoking a cigarette in an empty parking lot, going, what the fuck are we going to do?
How are, how does this, you become like war buddies in a shitty job where people aren't going anywhere, you actually have, it becomes fun.
Now, yes, there's negatives to that.
I'm not an idiot.
But what I am saying is like, you close down all the offices, you throw away all the French vanilla creamer, you throw away all the Keurigs.
What do you think happens?
What do you think happens to people when you send them back to their domiciles and tell them to work from home?
We would have fundraisers and stuff.
You know, this is now people hate it.
People hate it.
It's roundly criticized as being a meaningless way to spend your life.
What a meaningless way to spend your life in a corporate America.
It's meaningless.
It is so mean to provide for your wife and kids.
God, it's meaningless.
Didn't you ever want to paint?
And this idea that everybody is just shoving all their dreams down deep into them and then going, and there's some of that for sure.
But also, we're running a society here.
Someone's got to work.
Not everyone can fuck around all the time.
Not everyone's going to be a millionaire because they invented a sock company.
People are going to need to work.
Someone's got to be a cog in a machine.
Someone's got to be that guy.
Someone's got to be the guy that walks into the office.
You go, oh, God, it's him.
Someone's got to be that.
Someone's got to be the mail guy.
George, who's happy to give you the mail.
Where do these people go?
Everybody's not going to, this whole ethos of like online hustler culture that we think that like everybody is just one crap psychology book away from being the CEO of their own empire has got to stop.
It's got to go.
A convention is nice.
Going to a corporate convention with other losers is nice.
Trying to get laid in a corporate convention in Cleveland, Ohio is a good life.
You're not going to be a Kardashian.
It's just not happening.
It's not going to happen.
Things that are good.
The most fun you're going to have is at a bar in Cleveland, Ohio, at the convention for paralegals.
I don't know what people do, but the point is this is a good thing.
I'm telling you that the demise of commercial real estate is bad.
I worry about it.
Nothing would make me happier than for a day or two to just be part of a corporate culture again.
To go in and get an email, get an email, turn around on my buddy, like, hey, man, he goes, you were out yesterday.
Oof, Deb was on a tear.
Deb was on a tear.
Dude, Deb was on a fucking tear.
Missing Corporate Culture Days00:14:49
Maybe trouble at home or something, but that bitch is sick.
Sick.
Like those conversations, it never happens.
You're not allowed.
It's like when you work in those jobs, you're allowed to hate.
It's encouraged.
You're allowed to hate.
You're allowed to be bitter, resentful.
And then, you know, how are you going to do that at home?
That'll ruin your marriage.
Your wife doesn't care about your job.
She doesn't want to hear about how much I hate everybody.
That's why you have an office.
You have friends.
You have buddies.
You get a cocktail after work.
I mean, that's got to go somewhere.
That resentment, that ball of anger you have inside of you, it's got to go somewhere.
It's got to go to your buddies, to the left, to the right.
What's wrong with Deb?
She's a sick bitch.
Deb's a sick fuck.
She's sick.
A couple of weeks ago, she thought she was having a stroke.
That's how fucking wound up she gets.
One day she is going to have a stroke because she's sick, man.
That has to go somewhere.
You can't say that to your wife at your house.
Remember, Deb?
Deb, she's an underwriter.
Well, she's sick.
No, not, not, no, not physically.
She says something she's something's wrong with her.
I hate her.
I hate her.
Will you talk to me about how much I hate?
It'll never work.
It'll never, you'll be on the street.
Your wife will leave.
Your wife will say something like, maybe she's going through something.
And you're like, oh, God.
Oh, God.
Well, what's this?
I'm telling you, people go, oh, it's just a commercial real estate crisis.
It is amputating an essential part of American society and civilization.
That'll only be replaced, by the way, by further entering the dark Hamas tunnel of the internet, which is not good.
We're at 55 already?
God.
So much else I want to talk about.
But does anything I'm saying make sense?
It does.
This is a great defense here of dead-end jobs.
But they are important.
They are really important.
And I know that you don't agree with anything I say because you drink the Kool-Aid.
What do you mean?
Meaning that people at your generation has been, everything I'm saying about the embrace of the dead-end job, the embrace of the sterile corporate culture is antithetical to everything that you have been told and everything that I have been told too, which is to follow your dream and the rest of all that horseshit.
Right.
We're supposed to aspire, yeah.
Right.
But don't you, but don't you agree with me?
Yeah, I mean, there's got to be pawns too.
I mean, we all heard that phrase.
It's not even about pawns.
It's the happiest you'll ever be in your life, Deb Trot telling you.
Well, does anyone listen to me?
The happiest you'll ever be in your life is at a dead-end job.
You go, you know, Deb, I hope Deb gets shot in the head.
I would love to see her shot in the head.
Everyone's laughing.
Nothing's better than a laugh at work.
A laugh at work.
Your buddies go, Chuck's hilarious.
He did this whole thing.
He acted out Deb getting raped.
But I'm just telling you.
I'm telling you right now.
I wish to God I wasn't rich and I didn't live in this goddamn mansion.
I wish to God I worked at Geico.
What do you mean, stop?
There's no way.
I'm serious.
What do you mean there's no way?
You don't understand anything about human nature and the complexities of it.
You want to go back is what you're saying.
If I could just work in a core, in a corporate environment, you know?
I'm just saying for a day or a day or two.
And I would, no, you know?
But I'm saying it's fun.
I would love to get a fun laugh.
And it's corporate.
It's a corporate if we're all in there.
This fucking company, not what it was.
We're all sitting there.
We go, it's not what it was, this company, huh?
Used to work here, used to be treated differently.
They don't treat us well anymore.
Just to be with a bunch of bitter losers, bitter, resentful losers again, getting mad at a company they barely understand, being angry, eating big sandwiches and being angry with people hating.
Fuck that person.
Fuck him.
How did he get that deal?
Well, his father is, of course.
God damn it, of course.
You know, it's great.
I've ruined my goddamn life.
I want to go back.
I want to work for a shady financial comp, not like really bad, but just kind of like, you know, just have those moments again.
The corporate moment.
Your lunch has arrived.
Chicken cutlet, honey, pesto, mayo, roasted red peppers on Chabada, a little side of macaroni salad or tomato salad and hatred.
hatred and anger and pomposity to be pompous and to know better.
And when the young guys come in, you go, you don't really know how it works.
I'll tell you how it works.
You seem like a good kid.
Like the paramilitary structure of it all, it's beautiful.
It's fucking, it's actually, it's actually beautiful compared to Hamas, compared to the other options, you know?
Sex trafficking in Thailand or whatever.
Yeah, I'm telling you.
In certain countries, they put their own children in sex trafficking.
I think it's better to work at IBM.
I know it crushes your dreams.
I know you want to be Fiona Apple.
And everybody wants to be Fiona Apple out there.
And everybody just wants to go to Fiona Apple and be deep.
I know.
Or Phoebe Bridger.
I'd respect Phoebe Bridgers more if she worked at IBM, personally.
If she had all the talent she did, but still, like she worked at, she would never, like she wouldn't quit.
And she worked at American Express.
Like Phoebe Bridgers, and she sold American Express cards at her concerts.
Like all these people, you know, wandered in and they're all sad.
And she's got great music, but she's making them sadder with that, you know, Sullivan or whatever she sings, that street song about the street.
It is very good.
It's like a nice, sad Christmas song.
She's got a bunch of them.
And she's like, after that, and then she goes, and then she goes, now you all know, also know that I work at American Express.
And everyone's.
And she goes, I want to tell you about a few of the benefits of this card.
And then she like, you know, starts doing interest rates and points and everything.
And why do you have to, why do you have to choose one or the other?
Why do you have to choose one or the other?
Kevin Hart's not.
He's Chase.
He's got a card out now.
He's got a card.
God, I'd love a card.
What about the Dylan card?
Chase wouldn't do it.
Who would do it?
Amex.
No, we'd have to go.
We got to go.
We got to go low.
We got to find like a teacher, like a teacher's credit union for like, you know, I mean, we got to find like some real scumbag arrangement.
I'm just telling you, like this was a very, the depth of this episode is going to escape people because people don't know how lucky they are.
This is my point.
My point is this, and it's pretty, it's a pretty salient point.
People do not know how lucky they are when they're this this mundane life that you've created is actually great.
This life of nothing is actually good.
This life of like, ooh, someone brought doughnuts is actually good.
It's actually peak civilization.
How about that?
How about that?
It's actually peak civilization to just get up, roll out of bed, head into some office with a bunch of clowns, eat a donut, and then just email somebody that they've been denied for a new liver or whatever, whatever the, whatever the work is.
It doesn't even matter what the work is.
You just email someone and you go, we're not paying for that operation.
Figure it out.
And then you have lunch with the guys.
This is peak.
It's peak.
And we're past peak.
Not to be the bearer of bad news, but that's peak.
Peak civilization is like, I'm bored at work.
Don't you think the people in Gaza want to be bored at work?
Don't you think they want to be choosing which coffee creamer to use?
You know, it really is.
Sometimes I think I'm too smart to communicate with others and that I should just sit kind of like the giver.
Remember him to even speak?
No, he just took it all in.
And that's where I think sometimes I am because I keep trying to communicate with others and I'm at a loss because who would defend American Express?
Who would defend Geico?
Who would say that that's the meaning of life?
But it is.
All these people write about the meaning of life.
It really is to work at Geico.
That's the meaning of life.
Like the meaning of life.
Not, not, you know, you know, there's a lot of meanings of life, but one of the meanings of life is to figure it out.
To figure out how to just have food and shelter.
You need, you have basic needs that need to get met.
And sometimes you meet, like no matter what you end up doing, there's going to be periods of your life that you're going to work at places you don't like.
You know, this is what's going to happen.
Everybody's not going to be, I don't know, the people on Stranger Things, those kids.
And they're going to pay late.
They're going to pay later.
They're going to pay later.
And everyone pays.
You don't get out without paying, you know?
So what I'm saying, and a lot of people might disagree with me, is that a dead end corporate gig where you're not too low and you're not too high and you're just kind of riding in the middle and you're going, you got a couple of free tickets of the game.
You're taking some client.
He's a real schmuck.
But, you know, he might re-up with you.
You realize that's it.
That is Everett.
You did it.
You did it.
Because the world is war and hell and famine and chaos.
And, you know, or people take an ayahuasca in there, Rolls-Royce, try to figure out how deep is it?
How do I need to actualize?
But that's what it comes down to.
So when you look at the state of chaos, it's all over the world.
The idea that you have some boring, dead-end corporate job is actually quite an accomplishment, not only of you, but of the people around you, yes or yes.
Be happy with those things.
Fight for them.
Fight for the office.
We're going back.
We're going back.
Where's that energy?
It's all for Israel and the Palestine.
Where's the energy to go back into the office, to crawl back into it?
Crawl into it.
We're going back.
We're going back.
Protest.
Get your fat ass back in the office because Deb is a sick bitch.
And you want to tell someone about it.
I'm telling you, life will not get better.
Fight for this.
No one's going to listen to me.
God, they'll play this years from now.
Years from now after the people in this town have had me killed.
Years from now, someone will hear this and they'll go, God, he was fucking right.
God, he was right.
We should have fought for the shitty little deli in the basement of the building.
We should have fought for our office.
We should have fought for the break room.
We should have fought for it, for civilization.
We should have fought.
When we had the chance, we didn't.
Because we were all pompous and we all thought we were better than that.
And we didn't need it.
We didn't need to see each other in the flesh or talk to each other.
That life was a series of gigs or schemes.
Jobs were for losers.
Schemes were better.
Gigs were better.
Even though they only enriched the fucking apps on our phones and kept us on a perpetual wheel, offered us nothing in the way of cohesive social environments.
We all became lonely freaks in our cars, our houses, our apartments, our messenger bikes, task rabbits, showing up, installing a TV and then leaving.
All of this stuff.
We didn't fight for the great American office, the great dead end job, the great middle-class, mediocre, God, I wish I had fucking applied myself in college and I wouldn't be in this dump.
The great backyard beer with your neighbor.
Fuck this place.
30 years.
They tell you to fuck off at the end.
I'm telling you, you didn't fight for it when you had the chance.
The biggest regret of my life is that I don't work in an insurance company in Ohio.
The privilege.
The privilege.
Monthly Box Regrets and Dreams00:06:49
You think I like driving this Bentley?
It ruins every other car.
I'm in a rental right now.
It's insane.
It's an Infinity.
It's insane.
I don't even know how it even happens.
This Infinity Truck is horrible.
My greatest regret in my life is that I do not work in insurance in Ohio.
Be smart.
Fight for these things.
I'm telling you.
So many of you are not smart enough to understand this episode.
It's very hard.
It's very hard for me.
How do I have a career at all?
Rob.
You're right because now I was killed in a tunnel by MR6 and the Mossade.
All right.
All right.
You keep doing this all the time.
But you're wrong.
I actually believe that the happiest I've ever been is not when I was going to Africa pretending to care about the babies.
The happiest I've ever been was when I was in a bank with my girlfriends and we was all talking about who had bigger dicks.
Or the bankers.
Which banker had the biggest dick?
That was really fun.
I didn't like Africa.
It was depressing.
That's Princess Diana saying what we all know.
Well, I hope, do you understand what I'm saying?
You've shook your head multiple times, but it's so hard, I think, to fully grasp if you're not a full genius.
I'm not as enlightened as you, but I do see where you're coming from.
I do see, you know, how the mundanity can be enjoyable.
It is.
It is.
Not only is it enjoyable, it is it.
That is it.
That is it.
Enjoy that.
There's a few great moments and a few terrible ones, but in that, in what you do every day, is what your life is.
People don't realize that.
And they don't realize the purpose it serves.
They're always looking for something else.
It's very American to do that, by the way.
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Give the gift that keeps on giving all year round with Box of Awesome from Bespoke Post.
Every month, the Box of Awesome is filled with carefully chosen gear from the best small brands around the world.
Let's see what I got this month.
My box this month had really cool stuff in it.
I had this little mini candle that was really cool, like a little candle, like a fall with a fall fall scent.
And it was really beautiful to have it and I enjoyed it.
And it also had, I had a pack of nuts, like mixed nuts, you know, with the way they do them with fall, kind of fall smoke, it was smoky and sweet, the flavors.
And I had a lot of stuff in there.
I'm trying to remember what the other third thing I had.
White, white phosphorus.
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This is great.
You got people moving, different place, going to college, whatever it is.
This is like you send this to somebody, and every month they're reminded of how cool you are and what a good person you are.
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30% of all fatal accidents occur between 6 p.m. and midnight.
People age 25 to 34 have the highest amount of drivers involved in car crashes.
People age 15 to 24 had the highest rate of emergency room visits due to car accidents of all age groups.
Folks, you got to watch out.
You got to protect yourself.
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It was fun, but it just hit me.
We were talking just about air.
Air?
I hear chocolate at home, like Ysteratos.
The airy milk chocolate, which bubbles of joy.
Because I can't get another job, although I'd love to, I would like you to go to timdilloncomedy.com and see the shows on the rest of the tour.
Detroit, Toronto, Austin, Brea at New Year's.
Columbus, Ohio, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C., Northfield, Ohio, San Antonio, Texas, Dallas, Texas, Atlanta, Georgia, St. Louis, Missouri, Indianapolis, Indiana, Boston, Massachusetts, and Foxwoods in Connecticut.
We've also waited Schomburg Improv in the Dania Improv in Florida.
They should be on sale, I believe.
Schaumburg's in Chicago.
Dania Beach is in Florida.
I sincerely hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving, and I sincerely hope everybody found ways to navigate the social climate at your parties.
We have, we're recording an episode with our special guest, surprise guests.
Hopefully it will make some people happy and some people won't be happy.
And these are, this is the thing, right?
Thanksgiving Social Climate Navigation00:02:33
Isn't that the thing?
And I'm going to sign off now, but I wish, I wish, let me tell you what I wish I was doing.
What I wish I was doing.
I wish I was logging out of my computer, pushing back.
I'd still have a similar chair.
I have a very similar chair to my office.
Pushing back from my desk, getting up.
You know, someone's look at me.
They go, oh, quitting time, huh?
I go, yeah.
They go, yeah, you're in late tonight.
You know, it's 6.15.
They're being a wise ass.
Oh, you're late tonight.
I'm burning the midnight oil.
I go, yeah, you know, we're just a couple of guys who got to go get a drink.
Go, yep.
You walk out, you stand in that parking lot, that kind of empty parking lot.
You get in your car.
It's not the nicest, but it's not the worst.
You turn on the radio and your song's on, and one of the songs that you like is on that you really enjoy.
And you listen to classic rock and you drive out of the little industrial park.
And it's a pretty good day.
It's a pretty good day because you're living your dream and you don't even realize it.
You don't even realize that you're living your dream.
That's actually the only dreams you can live are the ones you don't realize.
And you drive in your car and you're happy.
And this is not going to end with you getting killed on the highway, which is every story I tell Endsworth.
Like, oh, you're sideswiped on the highway.
But you get to the bar and there's a couple of the guys at the bar and you're sitting there and you have a cocktail and you have a drink.
And, you know, you're sitting there and you're just joking around about nothing.
And you're like, it's all nothing.
Everything we do is nothing.
And the breeze hits you in a certain way.
And you put your phone down for a minute and you're just kind of watching the game or having drinks with a few people.
And maybe you got a couple of kids, maybe not.
Maybe you got a wife, maybe not.
Maybe this, maybe you're a single guy and you're young.
You're starting your thing out.
Maybe you're in between people or whatever.
But for the moment, things are fine.
You're there.
You're alive and you need nothing else on the planet.
That's all you need.
And all we have done is told people that they need much, much more than that.