Tim talks about Obama’s dreams, young Hollywood being too grateful, a mushroom poisoning down under and how ice cream can be a tragedy.American Royalty Tour🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/Pre-Order ‘Death By Boomers’ By Tim Dillon👉 https://rb.gy/gafn4SPONSORS:Nutrafol:Head to Nutrafol.com/men & Use Promo Code 'TIM'Blue Chew:BlueChew.com & Use Code: 'TD'Morgan & Morgan:For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo...Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillonListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo...#TheTimDillonShowMerch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBack
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Obama's Daily Imagination00:04:31
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
So why is that a big deal that he came out?
I think it's right.
The little twink from Stranger Things came out and then they're honoring him.
We'll get to that later.
What's the big deal?
You don't know everything about these people and it's kind of nice to learn things about them as you go.
I mean, I think that's kind of cool to like, you know, you don't know everything about all these relationships.
They're, you know, they're mysterious.
And Barack Obama wrote to an ex in a letter, I make love to men daily, but in the imagination.
Yeah, I mean, is that such a big deal that he's having gay sex fantasies in his imagination and yet none in real life ever?
Even if you're the president, you can't arrange a tryst with a guy that you might then later drown.
What's wrong with it?
What's the big deal?
The more than 40-year-old letter to an ex-girlfriend recently resurfaced after Obama biographer David Garrow gave a long and winding interview on the one-time commander-in-chief.
In regard to homosexuality, I must say that I believe this is an attempt to remove oneself from the present.
A refusal, perhaps, to perpetuate the endless farce of earthly life.
You see, I make love to men daily, but in the imagination, Obama 21 wrote to Alex McNear in November of 1982.
That's when he was Barry.
He further wrote, My mind is androgynous to a great extent, and I hope to make it more so until I can think in terms of people, not women as opposed to men, but in returning to the body.
This is what, if you want to have fun, you drive through a Del Taco, and when they say, Are you ready?
You just read this letter and you go, I see that I have been made a man, and physically in life, I choose to accept that contingency.
He added, McNear, who dated Obama during his year at Occidental College in LA, later redacted the salacious paragraphs which the Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Garrow hunted down and included in his tom, Rising Star.
Well, I don't know.
I don't know what any of that is.
It's a guy who's trying to impress a girl by telling her he's trying to be conceptual and he's talking about the masculine and the feminine.
And he's also saying that he has sex with men or makes love to them in his imagination.
I don't know if that is coming out of the closet.
It's not not coming out of the closet, right?
It's something there.
I don't think he's addressed it.
I don't think he said anything about it.
It just, the text stands as is.
We support him.
We support him.
And that's really what it comes down to.
I have nothing but good things to say about his decision, which isn't his decision, but his biographer's decision to include this lovely note about his predilection for having homosexual fantasies, which a lot of people probably have.
But that's a thing.
Brett's Close-Up Vibe00:15:20
You don't know.
Like, for example, Bill Clinton cheated on his wife.
You know, remember?
He cheated Bill Clinton on his wife.
And I mean, she was a beautiful, lovely woman.
But he cheated on her.
President George H.W. Bush, like President Bush's wife, Laura Bush, killed someone with her car.
But we don't know much about that.
We barely talk about it because it's not that big of a deal.
You know, George W. Bush wasn't really like, the Bush family did a great job convincing you that they were like hard scrabble Texas ranchers, but they were preppy New England wasps.
But they felt that it would be a better sell if they were hard scrabble.
Like W is like a rancher.
He's in Crawford.
He's clearing brush.
You know, that was all fake.
And maybe Obama's gay.
We don't know.
We don't know a lot about these people.
They just rule us.
It's not our business all the time.
You know, they're mysterious.
His name was Barry.
Barry Sotero.
Now he's Barack Obama, right?
Isn't that his name?
That was his name.
So, you know, the one guy who became the president that we knew the much about, that we knew the most about, the one guy that we knew the most about, like he was in the news for 40 years before he became president was the game show host who said, I want to have sex with my daughter.
But that's the one we knew.
We vetted him.
That was Trump.
We vetted him.
We knew him.
He was a wrestling heel.
You know, he had feuds with fat people on the view.
We knew him.
The rest of these people, we don't know them.
We don't know them at all.
And then there, we retroactively get to know them because somehow, whenever they get into the public eye, there's like 12 biographies of them that are ready to go, just ready to drop.
And there's all of these biographies that they all supposedly, they had all this time to write these biographies and run for president and be a senator.
And then we get to know these people retroactively.
They reverse engineer who they are after they are already in our consciousness.
The only one we actually knew the whole time was Trump for all of his faults.
I mean, that's interesting, but he's the only one that we kind of knew.
Most of them, like Bill Clinton, they just kind of pop up.
He's the governor of a state that nobody thinks about.
No offense, Arkansas.
But I don't think I have any dates there coming up.
So, but it's true.
Nobody thought about Bill Clinton before he became the president.
And then he became the president.
And then we got to know him.
He likes a little on the side.
He likes a little on the side.
He likes a little puss.
That's what his deal was.
He wasn't doing this for his health.
Sure, you know, he liked the idea of, you know, people getting some health care and keeping crime low or whatever else he did in there, the Welfare Reform Act, but he liked pussy.
That's what he did.
And we don't know much about Barack Obama.
He's cool.
He played basketball.
He met his wife when they were both young in law school.
And that's all we know about them.
So when we find these things out, and maybe he's really not gay, maybe he's a little bi, or maybe he was just trying to sound smart in that letter by over intellectualizing the things he was saying.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But I'm not, I'm not mad at that.
Speaking of coming out, Variety had their power of young Hollywood summit, 2023, the power of young Hollywood.
Young people in Hollywood that have power and they're powerful.
The variety.
And it was a lovely day.
And the Stranger Things guy, who I respect, Noah Schnapp, which is nice that he came out.
I think he said he came out because his character was gay.
And he said, I think that's what he said, which is nice.
Anyway, you know, whatever.
All's well that ends well.
But go to his Instagram.
He keeps making this face, which we have to address.
And someone has to get this clip to him because this has to stop.
Go to the left, top left.
He's being honored at Variety, close up on the face.
What is this?
He's smoldering.
I don't know what he does with this all the time.
Be a human being for a minute.
Like he's always ready to launch into that face all of the time.
And it's almost like, is he getting work done?
He's 12 years old.
But we're honoring him for his long and storied career and how hard it's been for him coming out in 2023.
But we, we, you know, we, we, we just, we like him.
We just, this face has to stop because everything he does, he launches into this.
And it's, I know it's like the sexy face, but it's like, just smile a little bit.
Be a, you know?
This other guy was interesting.
There was this interview of a guy named Brett Gelman Rock, who I don't even understand sometimes now when young people are speaking.
And he's being interviewed on the, by this guy, Zach Singh, on the Variety red carpet.
And I don't know who all of these people are.
Some of these people were actors and actresses like Sidney Sweeney, like people that you would know.
And some of them were influencers, like this guy, Brett Gelman Rocker.
I think that's his name.
Brett Monrock.
Brett Monrock.
Brett Gelman is a comedian.
Who's Brett Gelman?
He's kind of like a character actor.
All right, whatever.
We don't need that.
So this guy, Brett Monrock, is a Filipino beauty influencer.
And he does this interview with this guy, Zach Sing.
For the life of me, I don't, I can't fully understand what is transpiring between both of them.
I imagine it's a conversation, but it's on the red carpet.
It's like the craziest thing I've ever heard.
Here it is.
There it is.
Now, listen to this.
Now, again, it's just, I'm trying to understand and decipher what is being said here.
Interview is you really killed it.
Oh, we ate that shit up.
Girl, I'm like, the whole world knows how I got circumcised now.
Thanks to you.
Girl.
That was supposed to be a book exclusive.
But it's all over Zach Sang's YouTube channel.
Tens of millions of views.
Yeah, with views.
And you had the nerves to put it on TikTok.
I'm like, girl, she wants the whole world to know.
See, here's, well, there's a longer interview.
Find that on YouTube.
But all that people do now when they're actually in real life is just talk about the internet and things that happen on TikTok.
And no one can have any type of conversation on one of these red carpets without, it's almost like people are nervous that they have to say something that isn't related to some TikTok they watched or some fucking video that's out there.
They just simply cannot have any conversation without mentioning an app.
It's constantly like they're constantly mentioning an app.
And so this is some more of this red carpet interview.
Yeah, this is a full thing.
Which again, I'm trying to decipher and understand what is happening.
At one point, this person starts talking about chickens here.
Just.
Hello, hello.
Hi, Brevin Rock.
Hi, Zach Sang.
I hear you want to, you know, you want to be on the movie screen.
I'm telling you, girl, my ass is too fat for the phone.
The first guy's interview questions, you want to be on the movie screen.
You want to be on the iMac.
I mean, this is like, this is the interviewer, and the first question is like, this guy looks like an embarrassed guy who just like showed up and they threw him out on the red carpet with a microphone.
But continue this because it is a fascinating look into, I just fully don't understand culture at the moment.
IMAX screen to fit in, honestly.
What do you want to do on the screens?
What do I want to do on the screens?
Just the Brett Monrock shenanigans, honestly, girl.
If me and my chickens could walk across that screen, actually, let me just pitch my shot right now.
Moana, I would love to be the chicken.
You're my favorite.
Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
You're my favorite.
You know, our last interview is, you really killed it.
Oh, we ate that shit up.
Girl, I'm like, the whole world knows how I got circumcised now.
Thanks to you.
This guy can't even keep his composure.
That was supposed to be a book exclusive.
But it's all over Zach Sang's YouTube channel.
Tens of millions of views.
Yeah, and with views.
And you had the nerves to put it on TikTok.
I'm like, girl, she wants the whole world to know.
You look, you're fully healed, though.
Thank you.
You know what I mean?
Don't I look like the love child of like Harley Quinn and the Joker?
Yes.
Their gay son, girl.
This is her.
Why tonight?
Why is this look right?
Why is this the vibe?
Girl, I just wear anything Brian Meller puts me in, my stylist.
So he said this is the vibe.
And then it's the vibe.
And it is the fucking vibe.
Yes.
Life is good for you?
Life is good.
Back home, not so much, you know, with everything going on in Maui.
Prayers to Maui.
Yeah, There's nothing better than just the obligatory, yes, prayers to Maui.
This no good.
Girl, if my chickens could get on the IMAX script, prayers to Maui.
And then he immediately changed, like, there's nothing better than the immediate reversal where the interviewer was like, no, I know.
That's bad.
It's fine.
My chickens are fine.
Thankfully, it's on a different island.
I'm in LA.
No, but real talk.
This is a real conversation that should happen.
And we're doubting that, but it is.
Thank you.
I have a bunch of donations and more information on my YouTube channel.
Not YouTube channel.
In my stories, not my YouTube channel.
Go, Brett Man Raw.
Please.
Again, we'll link it.
Pray for Maui.
Please.
I love you.
I love you.
I'll see you inside.
This is the Variety Young Hollywood Power Summit.
The power of young Hollywood.
Pray for Maui with that guy.
And part of the problem with the new generation of actors and actresses is like some of them are very talented.
But look at, get up that picture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Joe and Gwyneth Paltrow.
So here's the photo of Brad and Gwyneth.
And what I like about this is they're over it.
They kind of don't want to be there.
It's like a cool vibe of kind of like, fuck you.
It's a waste of our time, which is again, I like that.
You know, that's what like a Hollywood actor and actress who are in the prime of their career should be.
And then there's just the next photo here where everybody just seems a little too happy.
They're a little too hungry.
They want it a little too much, except the gentleman who's in the turtleneck pulled up over his face.
I do like that.
But it's just, they're too happy.
And all the people that went to it, I was seeing their Instagrams and they were all like, thank you, Variety.
Thank you.
I'm grateful.
Thank you for having me.
I am grateful for being here.
And it's like, that's not the energy.
That's not the vibe you should have.
The vibe is like, oh, that bullshit.
You know, that's cool.
Go back to Brad and Gwyneth again.
This is the vibe.
There it is.
Like, fuck you.
This is a waste of our fucking time.
Not like, thank you, Variety.
Thank you.
It means everything to me.
It's like, no, it's a fake award.
You got it because you're hot.
Just not care.
Be kind of cool a little bit.
You know, I was talking with a friend the other day and he said to me, he goes, I think I have to choose between better hair growth and my health.
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Like, the concept of fate is very interesting because there's people that are fatalists who believe that everything happened is preordained and they lack the ability to stop it.
But then there are people that understand that life is an adventure, a journey, and that you are in the driver's seat.
And in the chaos, you can carve out a path that is both meaningful and impactful.
And that's, I think, the best life, even though there is something nice to be said about fatalism because, you know, the Eastern religions and stuff.
But what I'm saying is that accepting things is also good too.
Fate vs The Driver Seat00:09:02
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I've been fascinated.
And by the way, Australia, I've been fascinated by a story coming out of Australia.
And I want to tell the Australian people in no uncertain terms that I am going to be in your land in October.
I'm going to Brisbane.
I'm going to Perth.
I'm going to Melbourne.
I'm going to Sydney.
I'm going to Adelaide.
I'm even hopping over to New Zealand and I'm going to Christchurch and I'm going to the other one, the other place.
Auckland.
Auckland.
So I'm telling you right now, you got to buy tickets for those at timdillandcomedy.com.
I have been fascinated by this story about a woman who potentially poisoned her guests at lunch with something called the death cap mushroom.
The death cap mushroom, I'm not even going to try to pronounce the scientific name, but it is native to Eurasia.
It was introduced to the United States.
It is the, sometimes they call it a destroying angel or something.
It is a mushroom that is the most highly toxic mushroom you can eat.
It causes liver failure, kidney failure, all kinds of problems within 12 to 48 hours.
Most people that have ingested this mushroom are dead or dying.
And this mushroom looks like other mushrooms.
Like it has, basically I was eating a wild mushroom omelette the other day.
It's part of my meal plan.
And I was going, well, I hope this thing's not in there, but these should never be like picked and they should have nothing to do with food.
Amanita phalais phalais phalariais phala.
I don't know how you would say it.
Amanita, whatever it is.
But the toxin in this mushroom is not killed by cooking it.
Boiling it.
It doesn't matter.
Whatever internal temperature that this mushroom reaches, it does not kill off any of these toxins.
Okay?
So here's the deal.
This woman in this town outside of Melbourne, Australia, about two hours south of Melbourne, Australia, and it's called Leongatha.
And I'm probably maybe not pronouncing that right.
Liangatha.
Leongatha.
Leongatha.
Leongatha, whatever it is.
She has a lunch.
Okay?
She's having a lunch.
She prepared a meal that led to gastrointestinal problems.
for Gail and Don Patterson, the 70-year-old parents of her ex-husband.
Gail's sister, Heather Wilkinson, 66, and her husband, Ian Wilkinson, a 68-year-old pastor in nearby Koromburu, were also struck down.
The Pattersons and Heather later died out of hospital while Wilkinson, the pastor, fights for his life at a Melbourne facility.
So what she did, and here she was crying, she was confronted by the press.
What she did, now a fifth person who attended the lunch was also sickened, but discharged a short time later, according to the Times of London.
Erin prepared the deadly dish, beef Wellington with mushrooms, but served a different meal to herself and her two young children who are also at the gathering.
She denies wrongdoing this week, telling reporters she cooked the meal for the best people in her life.
I can't believe that this happened.
And I'm sorry that they have lost their lives, Erin said outside her home.
I didn't do anything.
I love them.
I can't fathom what happened.
So she invites her ex-husband's family, the in-laws.
They all come over.
She makes a beef Wellington pie with death cat mushrooms.
The ex-husband invited does not come.
All of these people are either dead or dying.
She eats a different meal with her children.
We don't know where she got the mushroom.
She claimed she got them at a local spot.
We're unsure of where she procured these mushrooms.
She's kind of been, you know, maybe intentionally vague about that.
The press is hounding her, the international press who showed up because this is a very, number one, if she did it, and I'll tell you why I think she did it, but if she did it, this pudgy mom type from a small town outside of Australia.
This woman looks like my aunt.
The idea of cooking for people and killing them with a poison mushroom in your own home is so intimate.
It's so ghoulish.
It's so, you know, like just, it's out of a fairy tale, right?
This is like Hansel and Gretel where they fatten up the kids to throw them in the oven.
It's one of those things where we think of poison foods as like the poison apple.
It's a Grimm's fairy tale.
Sweeney Todd, you know, putting the people in the pies.
It is something that captures our imagination.
And I think that's why people are riveted by this.
Now, here's why I think she did it, because her ex-husband had a mysterious gastrointestinal problem.
Her ex-husband, Simon Patterson, reportedly spending 16 days in an induced coma with a mysterious gut illness last year after eating food served by her.
Simon suspected he had been poisoned by Erin, a source told the Herald's son.
There were times he had felt a bit off and it coincided with when he spent time with her.
I think she's getting off poisoning people.
And I got to be honest, I like it.
I like it because it's something we haven't seen.
This is a new type of villain.
We know about Munchhausen's by proxy, where the parents make their kids sick.
So the parents get all the attention.
They keep going to the doctor.
They keep making their children sick.
It's very heinous.
This is kind of interesting.
There's this chubby mom in rural Australia who's poisoning her husband.
Like she poisoned her husband.
And he stayed in a coma for 16 days.
And he somehow made it out.
And she might have just, she decided to poison her entire family with these mushrooms.
Kill them all.
Because she never got caught.
This is why.
She never got caught when she did it to the husband.
They said it was a mysterious gut illness.
He didn't die.
She might have been thinking to herself, maybe they'll all die, but maybe it won't be traced back to me.
Or maybe it'll all be some mysterious illness.
They'll write it off as a weird pathogen.
But they were able to identify the toxin, the mushroom.
But I think she thought you could just do this.
I think she thought you could do it and get away with it because she had gotten away with it with the husband.
I think she thought I can just poison people.
Poisonous Mushroom Tragedy00:14:58
I'll invite them to my home.
I'll make them a beef Wellington pie, which does sound good.
And they'll die.
And we'll just assume it was a great tragedy.
And we won't be able to link it to the ingredient that killed them.
She goes, no one will quite know how they died because she's probably kind of a simpleton.
Even though she's poisoning people, she's probably reading about these mushrooms online.
She probably doesn't know about the diagnostic tools that maybe the police would have in a situation like this or what the, even though there's DNA and there's all this stuff, you would think that she'd be smart enough to know.
And if she knew, she didn't care.
But I think maybe she thought she was going to get away with it.
Now she's crying.
Get up the video where she's crying.
She comes home.
The international press has descended on her home.
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It's a tragedy what's happening.
Can you tell us about the meal that you cooked?
She doesn't seem that upset.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, she this is.
Devastated by what's happened, my love.
Dawn is still in hospital.
Awesome.
Ian and Heather.
And Gail.
You know what this looks like?
You know what it reminds me of?
It's like a bad audition tape when somebody, and you're looking at self-tape and somebody's auditioning for, Donnie's still in hospital.
And heather.
I'm not, it's not being.
She's not selling it here.
And it's noticeable how not upset she is.
Some of the best people that I've ever met.
Gail is like...
Gail is the mum that I didn't have because my mum passed away four years ago.
And Gail's never been anything but good and kind to me.
She's wiping no tears from her eyes.
Some of the best people I've ever met.
They never did anything wrong to me.
And I'm so devastated about what's happened.
Can you tell us about that?
And they're lost to the community and to the families and to my own children who've lost their grandmother.
Can you tell us why you've poisoned them?
Can you tell us a bit more about the lunch?
We started with a salad.
What I can tell you.
I just can't fathom what has happened.
I just can't fathom.
What has happened?
Yeah, you can.
You can.
That Ian and Heather have lost their lives.
Oh.
And Gail has lost her life.
And Don is still in hospital.
And I pray.
I pray.
I pray that he pulls through.
But he won't.
Because my children love him.
Yeah.
Can you tell us about the lunch?
I can't fathom what happened.
I'm devastated.
I love them.
And I can't believe that this has happened.
And I'm so sorry that they have lost their lives.
I just can't believe it.
Just can't believe it.
She killed them.
She did it.
Gail Day.
That's where the mushrooms came from.
Goodbye.
When the subject of the mushrooms came, which by the way would have been my first question.
That would have been question number one.
While she's standing there giving this horrible performance about how much she cared about everybody, how about go, okay, thank you.
Put a pin in that.
The mushrooms.
Where did you get the mushrooms?
First question.
Only question.
But let's watch her now.
She runs into her house.
Or she gets in the car now.
Now she's getting in the car.
She's going to the grocery store.
She's got to get a lot more mushrooms for all the press.
She's got to get everybody mushrooms.
Wouldn't it be great if she came out with pies for everybody?
I've made pies.
Come here and have some pause.
I've made lunch.
So you're a suspect.
Do you have anything to say about that?
I say I didn't do anything.
I love them.
And I'm devastated that they're gone.
And I hope.
Come on in.
Let me show you how much I'll care.
I've made pudding and paws.
Come in.
She likes it, man.
She's got a dark inner life.
She's got a dark inner life where she's poisoning her family.
That's what she's about, this lady.
Unless I'm wrong, and then this is a horrible character assassination, but I doubt I am.
I doubt I am.
And you know it as well.
She doesn't care.
She's not that upset.
She walks away when they ask about the mushrooms.
She knows she poisoned these people.
I don't know why she did it, but there's something amazing about it.
They're all eating.
She's watching them eat.
She knows it's the end.
And she's just sitting there with her kids.
I understand why you'd serve the kids a separate meal.
There's fucking no reason in the world that she didn't try what she made.
She didn't even try it.
Those mushrooms are fatal, not even at high doses.
Now, obviously, some of the mushrooms are more toxic than others.
I was reading about that.
You know, the doses in them are not always consistent because there was a guy that ate them and then survived.
But this woman were to expect that she did not try the food she was eating.
There's no way.
She could now, why, though?
Why would you kill everybody?
Why would you kill?
That's the one thing that I'm hung up on here and I don't quite have an answer for.
I don't quite have an answer for why she would kill, but she wanted to get them all.
She had the ex-husband.
She wanted to kill everybody.
The ex-husband, his parents, and their in-laws.
She wanted to kill them all, poison everybody.
And I don't quite know why.
She might just get off on it.
She tried to kill the husband once.
We know that.
Wouldn't it be funny if it comes out tomorrow that like it was just a tainted batch of mushrooms from, you know, like the farm stand and fucking.
No, it's not.
These mushrooms don't accidentally end up.
This is something that 1,000% was a premeditated hit.
And she wanted everybody.
She wanted the husband.
And we talk about this thing on the Patreon where a guy shoots his wife.
It's not a true crime podcast right now, but it's the summer and people act up.
This is what happens.
In the summer, it gets hot out.
People act up.
People, this guy in Orange County shot his wife.
We talk about that on the Patreon.
This woman poisoned her family.
People start, when it gets hot out, people get wacky and people start doing crazy things.
I get it.
This is, it's such a fascinating story to me.
I want to know how they're going to prove it, if they're going to get like, if they're going to arrest her, if they're going to formally charge her, if they're going to be able to link this.
They got to figure out where she got these mushrooms.
But it is Australia.
So I don't exactly know the steps that would be different from had this happened in America.
But this sort of thing doesn't happen here, one Lee Angatha resident told the newspaper Monday.
But this wasn't the first time her cooking made someone sick.
And then they talk about the husband.
He wrote about the ailment on Facebook.
Listen to what this guy wrote.
I collapsed at home, then was in an induced coma for 16 days through which I had three emergency operations, mainly on my small intestine, plus an additional planned operation.
He reportedly wrote, my family were asked to come and say goodbye to me twice as I was not expected to live.
Can you imagine this chubby bitch going in there twice?
And then it still, and then he still comes back.
Patterson suspected his unforeseen illness had been linked to eating nightshades, a family of plants that includes tomatoes, potatoes, and peppers.
All nightshade vegetables contain alkaloids like solanine, a chemical that can be toxic in high concentrations.
But how much fucking eggplant are you eating?
There's no way she's doing this.
This is a new archetype of murderer, a kind of cuddly, you know, she looks like a koala bear and she's just poisoning people with natural poisons through food.
Because if you use an agent that's a chemical agent that's easily identifiable, you can get caught.
What she's doing, which is very interesting, is she is going out and finding things where they are highly toxic in the right dose and trying to get people.
And I just don't know what snapped in her head why she wanted to do everybody at once.
Why not one at a time?
But she might have figured, she might have said, I may get caught for this one.
I got to do them all.
I got to do them all.
I got to get my husband, his family.
And there's more to this story than what we're knowing.
There's something, there's something else going on here.
And it's been keeping me up at nights.
I want to talk to this woman.
I want her on my show.
By the way, Lizzo, they're not letting her.
They're taking her out of contention for the Super Bowl halftime show.
They're not letting her be.
And you know who's doing it now?
Dylan Mulvaney.
And she's doing, and this is what's really offensive.
She's doing Lizzo's songs with the fat black dancers.
So Dylan Mulvaney's going to get out and go, why a man great till he got to be great?
And with the fat black, that's not right.
But this woman in Australia, I want to talk to her.
The crocodile tears are fake.
She did this.
And I want to know why she wanted to get rid of it.
She's been fucking around for a while poisoning people.
It's got to be so interesting to make a meal and try to kill someone with it.
It really is kind of a ghoulish thing.
And is it wrong for me to say that I kind of like, I kind of am interested in this woman a little bit.
Like, I want to know about her.
She obviously has some real problems.
But to me, she's more interesting than anybody at the Variety Young Hollywood Power Summit.
She's not more attractive, but she is more interesting to me because people that deal in poisons like that and will kill a bunch of people with a pie, for example, are some of the most, they're just villainous in a way that's truly terrifying and suburban, you know?
All these suburban villains, the Gilgo Beach killer, this bitch, this is the summer of the suburbs.
You know, we all expected there to be a lot of crime in the cities this summer.
And I'm sure people getting thrown in front of trains and people getting beheaded, but I don't have the time to go on the NYPD blotter and look all the time.
But that always happens.
Gunshots always, you know, rise.
But this summer, the truly interesting cases have been of like kind of like suburban pool and patio types having these dark inner lives and killing people.
And it's very, very fascinating to me.
These are always the ones that get you.
It's the guy or the mom in their mid-size crossover hybrid SUV.
They go into a gas station.
They buy a fucking bottle of water.
You stand right next to them.
Maybe you work in the same building as them.
You see them online at the grocery store and you think nothing of it, but they can only get off by killing people or thinking about killing people.
She probably thought about this day in and day out until she actually made it happen.
And I want them to nab her.
Obviously, she did the wrong thing.
But I also want them to be like, I want this to unravel a little bit.
And I want to, because you know, she's probably tried this a bunch of times.
It probably didn't work.
She probably tried it with other things.
How great would it be if she tried to kill like Ray Comp, but his stomach was too strong?
He's like, this is good.
This is actually good.
Listen to me.
This is fine.
I enjoyed this.
It would be amazing if it didn't affect anyone, but it killed everyone.
So we're going to keep tabs on that story.
When I'm in Australia, if there was any way for me to meet this woman, not eat with her, but if there's any way for me to meet her, I'd love to meet her.
I'd love to talk with her.
I'd love to have her on my show.
I'm a sympathetic ear.
I do understand.
I love cooking.
I love hospitality.
I love dinner parties.
I understand things go left.
Morgan And Morgan Claims00:02:52
It's not always your fault.
I have a lot of empathy for her.
I've entertained and not everything is the way I'd want it to be.
So to someone like this, I say, like, I get it.
And I'm a sympathetic ear to you.
I want to know why you did it.
I want to hear about why you did it.
I love Morgan and Morgan.
It's a law firm, but they help.
And they only make money if you win.
I'll tell you about a car accident I was in.
And you'll tell me how awesome it was that I found Morgan and Morgan.
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You know, I was doing everything right.
I was sober.
I was driving my car, driving it down the road, listening to that song, I got money in the bank.
Shorty what you drank.
It's a long time ago.
And I was hit.
Not good.
As I was driving straight, a woman hit my car because she was not paying attention.
And I was like, I had an injury.
I had an injury.
And I was very, I was in a lot of pain.
And I was confused, disoriented, and angry, sad, scared, alone.
And I was feeling hopeless because I'm like, I wish there was a personal injury law firm that would take this case.
But I said, it's got to be so hard.
But then the reality was I found Morgan and Morgan and submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is so easy.
It's more like using an app than hiring a lawyer.
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Submitting a claim to Morgan and Morgan is as easy as pretending you don't see the 5 p.m. email from your boss.
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Submitting a claim to Morgan and Morgan is as easy as watching the planes flying in the towers and then accepting the official narrative and going to war in two countries for 20 years.
Insane Summer Ice Creams00:07:07
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So something that's going on this summer, which I do not support, is Salt and Straw, the ice cream place from Portland, which is partially owned by Dwayne The Rock Johnson, has lost their fucking mind.