Tim shares his thoughts on the historic bank collapse, speaks with a Silicon Valley Bank staffer before his exile to the midwest and explains why Marianne Williamson’s rage is the the most fun kind.Live Shows:http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBackBonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshowNetflix special: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382SPONSORS:Fum:TryFUM.com & use code 'TIM'Shipstation:https://www.shipstation.com/TimDillonMorgan & Morgan:ForThePeople.Com/TimRayconBUYRAYCON.com/TimGametime:Head to gametime.co & download the GAMETIME app & use code 'TIM'▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo...Listen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo...#TheTimDillonShow
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SVB Chaos and Hollow Vibe00:08:20
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show.
We have coming up later in the broadcast an insider from SVB, Silicon Valley Bank, who calls into the show and discusses the chaos that's happening.
They have been taken over by the federal government.
He said there's ads now for SVB saying Silicon Valley Bank is the safest place to put your money.
But we're looking at potentially, you know, they're trying to find a buyer for SVB.
They're trying to find a buyer.
It's a very woke bank.
And, you know, it's diverse and inclusive and fun and sexy.
And, you know, gender is a construct and everything.
It's a fun kind of Silicon Valley bank.
That's what they do.
And that's not the reason it collapsed.
I'm not going on some reactionary thing here.
I'm just saying it's part of the vibe.
It's a vibe.
Silicon Valley Bank was a vibe.
And they tried to get the Saudis to buy it.
And the Saudis have a little decidedly different vibe than that.
But I think nothing would make more sense than having the Saudis come in and whip Silicon Valley Bank into shape.
Watching an analyst at Silicon Valley Bank explain the concept of non-binary to Mohammed bin Salman is something I would like to see.
That's something I would like to see.
Members of the Saudi sovereign wealth fund sitting there with Silicon Valley Bank and going through just the office policies, you know, the human resources policies at the bank.
Who can say what to whom?
I think that's a great idea.
In fact, if this, if this whole bank collapse, which people are debating whether it's going to be a massive collapse, I'm reading things that say this is Lehman Brothers.
Credit Suisse is going down.
Even though they got a $52 billion loan from the Central Bank of Switzerland, they're still done.
They're looking at scenarios for the bank over the weekend.
People are going, this is a similar thing that happened to Lehman.
Monday is going to be Black Monday.
Credit Suisse is going to go.
First National is going to go.
Credit Suisse is a trillion.
First National, with all the regional banks that'll take down with it is a trillion.
We're looking at massive runs on the bank.
I believe a crazy amount of money was taken out of JP Morgan because these are bank runs.
People are going, we want our money.
And maybe Peter Thiel caused this run at SVB.
We don't know.
It's possible, but the bank's been insolvent for a while and Peter Thiel goes, I got to get my fucking money out of there.
And people start going, well, you know what?
Peter Thiel took his money out.
Maybe I'll take my money out.
But these are kind of these old-fashioned bank runs.
And people don't really know how bad they're going to get if this is going to be systemic and spread.
But what excites me potentially about this is seeing Middle Eastern dictatorships take over progressive Bay Area lenders in America just that because it's a fun sitcom.
It's an actual fun sitcom to see Saudi nationals going into Silicon Valley Bank and dealing with the people that work there.
It's an actual, if that's what comes out of this, where the Middle Eastern, you know, ultra conservative, religious, Saudi people have to go in and run this woke American Northern NorCal, Northern California company.
Is this not going to be a hoot?
That to me could be a lot of fun.
Now, obviously, people are saying that's best case because nobody wants to buy SVB.
The Saudis don't want to buy it because it's just, you know, it's got a bunch of shitty startup ideas and a bunch of people walking around with blue hair and the Saudis go, we're not into that.
We want live nation.
That makes the money.
We get it.
We understand it.
Put Billie Eilish on the stage.
She cuts herself.
The kids pay the money.
Not this fucking game of like, no, you have no idea how many great ideas we have.
Tell them about your idea.
Tell them about your idea.
That's what it is.
Silicon Bank gave every fucking guy at Stanford with a hoodie $400,000 to come up with anything they wanted.
And where is the new Uber?
Where are these things?
They don't exist.
Because tech, like everything else, is fake.
There's a few good ideas like movies or music.
There's a few good ideas.
Many of them happen by accident.
Most of the good ideas in tech are people that are like, I would like to fuck women.
I mean, this is what happened with Facebook.
Zuckerberg, the entire Facebook, all of meta, which is now a nightmare because people are leaving this horrible world he created on the metaverse.
I don't know who's left in the metaverse.
It's like pedophiles that are like, what is this?
Let's go back to the dark web.
This is horrible.
But all meta was was Mark Zuckerberg trying to get laid.
You know, a lot of these advancements in tech come because you have people that are brilliant, but maybe they're on the spectrum.
Maybe they're not the most socially capable people.
And they actually have these brilliant ideas.
And some of those ideas end up enriching our quality of life.
And many of them don't, right?
Many of them have made our quality of life kind of worse, more lonely, more isolating.
And, you know, but Silicon Valley Bank, they're the big startup bank.
They're the bank that hands money to all these motherfuckers and goes, just run with it.
Do what you, you know, do what you want to do.
And nobody's buying that right now.
Like nobody, they haven't found a buyer.
It's not to say that they won't, but they haven't found a buyer.
Because, you know, it's not, it's like, you know, people are going, that's not a sure thing.
It's the opposite of a sure thing.
You have all this entrepreneurial talent, supposedly.
You have all these great ideas for companies, maybe.
But what you don't have is a surefire thing.
It's what the Saudis come in and buy Live Nation, no problem.
In the middle of the pandemic, they're like, yeah, we know it.
Hey, as soon as the pandemic's over, people are going to go out.
They're going to go to concerts.
They're going to go to comedy shows like the ones I'm doing at the Chicago Theater on June 9th and the Masonic at San Francisco on June 21st.
TimDylanComedy.com.
Get all your tickets to everything.
I'm at Milwaukee at the Paps Theater.
Second show we edited at the Pantages Theater in Tacoma.
Whatever.
It's not a commercial for myself.
What I'm saying is that TimDylanComedy.com, what I'm saying is that Live Nation probably is a better, it was a better, it's a more, you can understand it.
The Saudis understand it.
They go, we like live things.
Usually it's, we get to hand, but we understand what a live thing is.
We understand live events.
Usually we're beheading women.
We're burning gay people at the stake, but it's live.
They like live.
They get it.
This shit is like, you know, they don't know what the fuck's going on.
So they understand, yes, we put a bunch of people in a room and we go and get the thieves and we cut the hand off the thief and everybody cheers.
And we go, oh, it's not quite like that.
It's more like Drake and I spice and a big field.
But the Saudis understand that they understand what live is.
I wouldn't buy Silicon Valley Bank.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know what's happening.
I don't know who you got.
Do you have the next Mark Zuckerberg?
Do you have the next Elizabeth Holmes?
We don't know.
But what we're excited about is tech now becoming the new manufacturing where it's taken over.
Other people do it in other countries.
And the tech people, we force them to live the same way that we have forced generations of people in manufacturing to live.
They live in Rust Belt states.
They live in the middle of the country.
We ship their jobs overseas and they get addicted to opioids.
We watch their lives hollow out.
We watch their faces hollow out like Ozempic.
You know, it gets, because the Ozempic gets really, you start to see it now in California.
It gets really hard and it's like a fish and they get really hard, kind of like that screen painting.
But we watch the faces because if you go to some of these places, you know, read Methland, which is a great book.
All of these people their, their faces hollow out and they have blue under their eyes and they live in these, these horrific uh conditions in these towns uh, with water that's not good and food deserts where they can't get this salad right.
We, we are, we are optimistic that many of the that hopefully, the tech people, will meet that same fate.
Austin's Grotesque Decline00:04:27
That it's only fair right, it's only fair that eventually tech people have to live in that.
I don't.
I don't want to say a place, because people are going to get offended by whatever I say.
Right, if i'm, i'm going to use a town as an example, or um uh, something that uh is grotesque and you know.
But but let's just say uh, let's just say a town uh somewhere uh, where it is not nice out.
Huh, it's not nice and maybe it's hot and sticky and there's, you know, there's just, it's a town that has seen better days.
May you know, will Austin one day look like Flint Michigan?
I mean, will Austin one day look?
You know, because we go, when I go on the road, I go, we drive through these things, we drive through Flint Michigan, we drive through these old, you know, rust belt or you know all of these different states that at one time were centers of manufacturing.
You know, up in I believe, I did a theater up in Rochester, New York, and you know there was a guy standing next to me.
I believe it was Rochester might have been Schenected, but I believe it was Rochester and I was staying.
Uh, the theater was by the Kodak, what used to be the Kodak factory.
People used to take photos and then the Kodak obviously was the film and this was big, up until digital cameras and phones.
And now the Kodak factory tests people's blood.
They do blood tests.
I think they test for drugs, or maybe they test for cancers, I don't know, but that's what it is.
Now the Kodak factory has become a blood testing facility, I believe, up there in Upstate New York.
So I go to places like this to perform and they were a great audience and and we, you know we were.
We're grateful to everyone that comes out to see comedy.
But it is, it is just my sincere hope.
It's a little thing that I I like, I love hope and to me, one day, if Austin Texas is, instead of a tech hub, just a thing where like, people walk around and the only thing that's left is the Mothership Comedy club, the JOE Rogan Comedy CLUB, and I somehow survived despite, you know, my smoking and the weight and everything.
I somehow survive and i'm in my 70s or 60s and i'm there and and and i'm like we have the busts of Ron, White and Roseanne that are long gone but we just we've stuffed them.
You know, we've done, we've done like uh, what do they call that taxidermy?
We've taxidermy, our favorite uh comedians and i'm up there being like Austin used to be a real tech hub.
Look at it now and it's just the tech.
People meet the same fate as the manufacturing sector.
There's something so great about because it's it's.
It's great now in Austin everybody's excited and everybody's in new glass buildings Buildings, and they're buying houses in the Westlake Hills that look just like LA, except, you know, it's, there's a, there's a disgusting vomit-colored river.
Whatever is fine.
I've gone, I've, I've, I've got, I've done that well repeatedly.
And, you know, whatever.
I, I actually like Austin a little more now than I did.
But just, it's a perfect example in San Francisco.
See, San Francisco, it's not even fun.
San Francisco is already a hellscape.
It's already what it's going to be.
There's something about this.
If the tech thing is so good for humanity, why is everywhere that the tech things going on looks like the apocalypse?
Why is that?
Why, if this tech thing is just such a universal good, is San Francisco, the area that tech has been concentrated in for years, literally an insane hellscape.
It's very interesting.
I was passing, I was in Austin for South Buy for the opening of Joe's Club, which is a lot of fun.
If you're down there, go grab tickets.
When I saw this little homeless encampment in Austin, and then there's something right next to it, there was a poster that says the rise of virtual communities.
And there was a poster, and there's this guy, you know, sitting there on a mattress in the middle of the sidewalk.
And on the Chainlink fence next to him, there is a poster that says the rise of virtual communities.
It's very interesting that this seems to go hand in hand.
The tech seems to go hand in hand with the decay of these urban centers because tech people usually set up shop on the outside.
They get all the real estate on the outside of these cities.
They prop it up.
Virtual Communities Rise00:09:52
It becomes very expensive.
But the cities themselves and maybe some of the poor suburbs on the outside of the cities don't do well.
So I am not saying that I want to see all of these tech people living like the old manufacturing people, oxycontin addicts sitting at a table eating store-brand ketchup on white bread while their children run around in the yard and play with the gun.
I'm not saying I want that.
I'm saying it might be fun.
It might be fun to see people who used to work in tech wearing flannel shirts, not ironically, because they have nothing else.
That might be good.
Seeing people that used to work in a fun tech environment where everybody's in hoodies and nobody had to wear suits and it was so comfortable to ruin the world, it might be fun to see those people deal with crippling generational poverty and addiction.
It may not be.
It might not.
I don't know.
I'm just saying it might be fun to see that, but I'm not, I don't like this.
I don't like this bank collapse because I have a little bit of money now.
So what I want the poor to do if this happens, behave, please.
Because I know the poor and they are good people, but they will start.
And what we're asking you to do, please, is just watch the Netflix.
If they won't let you get the money out of your account, just watch the goddamn Netflix.
Don't go out into the street and try to kill me when I'm in my Bentley, which is from 2018.
It's not even new.
It's not even new.
Don't pull me out of that and kill me because you have issues.
What you have to do is watch the Netflix if it all goes because they have, how many programs do they have on that?
It's unending.
How many programs they have on Netflix?
You will get food.
We will give you food.
Calm down.
You're going to get food.
It'll be bugs.
But bugs are good.
They're crunchy like cookies.
What's on Netflix?
There are 36,000 hours to go through.
Sit and watch Netflix.
Don't take to the streets.
Please behave.
Behave.
Please.
God, it's perfect weather for this too.
I wish this was the dead of summer.
I wish this was the dead of summer.
This is perfect springtime weather for a fight.
This is like the Arab Spring we could have it in America.
Please behave.
Just relax.
Don't kill me.
Kill the others.
They have more.
They have more.
I'm telling you they have more.
I'll show you where they live.
Behave.
Watch the Netflix.
Eat the can of pasta you get.
We will give you a can of pasta.
Eat it.
Share it with the children.
And pray.
Get God again.
Time for God.
Can of pasta plus God equals good life.
Killing me?
Not nice.
That's not right.
I'm in this Blenciago D, but we're over this, right?
We know they're rapists, but they make three acts.
Get someone else to make three acts.
I'll throw it out.
I'm telling you right now, just please behave.
Don't go nuts out there.
I know they're going to go nuts.
I can feel it.
This is what's going to happen.
They're going to, Monday, they're going to go to the ATM and this money's not going to come out.
And they are going to, it's going to be bad.
But I would like you at that moment when the money doesn't come out of the ATM, I want you to go, go back to your home because we are sending care packages.
They will be sent to you.
The government will provide for you.
You will get a can of pasta.
You will get a bag of cake.
A bag of sugar cake for the kids.
Now, this is my, this could be my last plea.
It might be my last brook.
I didn't know I'd be rich.
I'm 38 years old.
I had no money my whole life.
I was a fat failure my whole life from when I was fucking nine till now.
I only have a little bit of money now.
A little bit of money now.
And it's not even enough money.
It's enough money to take a 22-year-old out to dinner and go, here's salmon.
Ooh, there's a penis.
That's not even a lot of money.
It's a little bit of money.
Please don't kill me when you see me in Beverly Hills.
Stay out of Beverly Hills, please.
Please stay out of Beverly Hills.
It's not right.
I made money in a few years, years and years of nothing and no money.
And now I'm the enemy.
And I know you all hate me.
It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
These glasses are, these aren't worth maybe $800,000.
I'm kidding.
They were $1,100.
I know it's disgusting.
I know it's your rent.
I know it's your rent.
I don't know what to do for you.
I'm sorry.
I believe you should have health care.
I've always said that in a clinic that's separate from me, but they're like overcrowding.
I don't want to smell you and see your problems.
I'm just saying when this happens on Monday, and can you please relax a little bit and behave?
That's all I'm asking.
I'm just asking it because I just was money for the last couple of years.
That's it.
So long.
I was one of you at one point waiting for the can of pasta in my hovel, thinking of eating my fam.
I understand that.
But I don't, listen, I just, you know, I got a middle of money on the internet.
It's not a big deal.
So I just want everyone to behave and relax because I, God, I think it's coming and I just don't, it's not fair now.
Give me a couple of years, please.
Christ almighty enough.
Bring up some articles.
Is this even going to happen?
Maybe I'm overstating it.
God, I hope I am.
Why don't we come up with people to kill so that it's not me?
We can get people that really deserve people that have so much more money than me.
And I will help you.
How many people took their money out of Chase?
How many people took their money out of Chase?
That's always a good indicator because Chase is the, you know, Jamie Dimon says it's a vault.
And what he means by that is it's a vault of all the Epstein tapes, but it's still a vault.
And but people are saying, go to that guy, Guantanamo Bay on Twitter.
He's, he's great.
He just tweets about Marxism and 9-11 all day, but it's fun.
You know, I like someone that commits.
I like a theme.
And he really does.
He just does deep dives on CIA figures that were involved in 9-11.
But he's posting these really interesting articles about the banking class.
And Peter Schiff, I mean, God is Peter Schiff.
He's probably got a 24-hour erection.
He's been predicting this collapse for years.
And it's finally here.
The banks are going to evaporate.
It's a liquidity crisis.
The Fed cannot lower the interest rates to zero.
It's all over now.
And all I am asking on behalf of people that have made money in the last three years is that you remember that there are people that have had money for a very, long time.
Kill them.
That's what I'm asking.
If you, I will help you.
I will help you.
Do you want to start a podcast?
This is a good time to start a podcast.
You can do it.
I will help you.
So I'm just saying, don't kill me.
I know that it feels like the right thing to do.
And I in your shoes might kill me too.
But there's a lot of good things coming your way if you behave.
Can of pasta.
Open it.
Yummy time.
A bag of cake.
It won't be a cake.
It'll be cake bits.
We'll call them cakeums.
It's just easier to deliver.
And you could put your hand in it and it'll be like coffee crumbs from a crumb cake, but with funfetti sprinkles.
And you could just, you'd throw it at the kids and the kids are going nuts with the funfetti.
It's going to be fine.
It's going to be okay.
We're going to give you a smoothie.
You're going to get a smoothie for your bones, strong bone.
And you're going to be allowed out of the house for a good amount of time to get the exercise.
But what we can't have is violent mobs in the street asking for my Bentley from 2018.
It's not going to help you.
It's from 2018.
It's not even that good.
So that's my whole thing.
My whole thing is like, you know, I just want everyone to behave.
That's all.
That's all I'm asking for.
You can get mad at me.
You can get offended.
I'm just saying I've only had money for a couple of years.
I used to hang out in these really poor places where I would do drugs when I was a child and people would do crazy, heinous things.
And I, you know, that was the majority of my life.
I was a junkie from when I was 12 or 13 years old till 25, just drugs, alcohol, you know, and then from 25 to 35, it was basically just stand-up comedy and working.
And then from, you know, 35 to 38, which is what I am now, we've made a little bit of money.
But that's certainly, I am certainly not the person to kill in this situation.
There are people like Chelsea Handler.
Chelsea Handler has more money than me.
She has a lot more money than me.
I'm not saying kill her, but I'm saying if there's a, if there's a hierarchy.
Economic Collapse Looming00:04:25
Credit Suisse CFO teams to hold talks this weekend on scenarios for bank.
This is never good when you have a weekend meeting with people that are asking for the scenarios.
Credit Suisse will be holding meetings over the weekend to assess scenarios for the bank as it struggles to regain confidence from the market.
People with knowledge of the matter say.
And what this basically means is that you have the CFO and people like that and the CEO, and they're going through the numbers and they're trying to formulate scenarios that may reshape the future of the bank.
And they're not commenting on that, of course, but this looks a little similar to, and people have been tweeting and writing about this, to what happened to Lehman Brothers as well.
Now, we have, as a country, and I want you to think about this over the last year because this has been the policy of the United States of America.
The policy of this country, as I've talked about, has been basically national suicide with regard to the unwavering support of the Ukraine,
billions and billions, hundreds of billions of dollars to the Ukraine, doing nothing but increasing the resolve in terms of Russia, what they're willing to do to win the war, pushing Russia and China closer together, okay, trying to sanction Russia, Russia then going, fuck you, we're just going to sell natural gas to other places like India, ending up being kind of financially okay with regard to how Russia operates.
You know, Russia's the economy is much obviously much smaller than the United States, but they were able to be, they were pretty quickly were able to sure up their economy even after these sanctions, which did not have the devastating blow and impact that we thought.
We are now in a position where Poland is sending fighter jets to the Ukraine.
We have a much wider war potentially going to happen right now that the United States is not only engineering, it is supporting, and this is probably something we either want to happen or God are the people running this country stupid, not thinking it would happen.
I'm voting for the former, that this is something we actually want to see happen.
You also now have what looks pretty much like an economic collapse or the best case of Fed correction, but really what's an economic collapse at home, because we are not minding the store.
We had artificially low interest rates for well over a decade, for the longest period really in American history.
We enabled bubbles everywhere in real estate and tech and everything.
And now those chickens are coming home to roost.
There's bank runs.
550 million people have withdrawn money out of banks.
These bubbles are bursting.
The tech bubble, which has been the bubble that is probably the most obvious, the most reported on, is now bursting in front of your eyes, which is why Silicon Valley Bank, which is the startup bank, is collapsed.
It's now in custody of the feds.
And now we have other problems, Credit Suisse, First National Bank.
This could be very, very ugly.
All the while we are continuing to write checks to support a war in the Ukraine between a regional conflict between Russia and the Ukraine, which started out over a few regions in the Donbass area.
I think it's northern Ukraine.
I don't know.
And now with the rhetoric of the Ukrainian leader has become a all-out fight who's going to win Russia or Ukraine, which regime will get toppled first.
And the United States of America is participating in that.
We could not be in a worse position globally right now.
We have Russia and China kind of working together.
We have our economic power, the thing that we pride ourselves on.
We are going to be seeing a massive reduction right now in our economy, a huge contraction, best case, obviously.
And it's not like 2008.
The Fed can't do what it did then.
It cannot infuse capital the way it did.
It cannot go save the banks.
It cannot save the entire financial system.
We have spent years and years and years creating this problem.
Biden's Militarism Face00:03:18
Everybody, people that are a lot smarter than me, people will understand this in depth in the way that I do not have been warning that this day will come.
And it feels like this day is coming.
And I hope that's not the case.
And I only ask you to not kill me if you see me in the street.
I'll give you the glasses.
Don't kill me.
They're, you know, they're nice.
You got to keep cleaning them over and over and over to get a spray with the whole thing.
But I'm just saying that we have a president who has dementia.
He's in the cognitive decline.
He's not running the show.
The show is, this is to anyone who's, this is not political, but it's not a political idea.
I'm not like, well, it's obvious to anyone that Joe Biden is barely cognizant.
Like, you know, Joe Biden's family, you know, we talked about this on the Patreon, but Joe Biden's family had some meeting in Nantucket deciding whether he was going to run again.
And they all came to the conclusion that it was a good idea that he ran again.
It's like, what questions were asked at the meeting, at the family meeting?
Like, what topics of discussion were there to ascertain that Biden was good to run again?
Like, that's a little wild to me.
The idea that they're like, well, Pop seems good.
He seems good.
I mean, he's falling.
He's drooling.
He doesn't really know where he is or what he's doing.
But I think it seems like he we could.
So he's kind of, you know, they're stuffing him.
They're bringing him out.
They're giving him the best drugs, I guess, to just get him through these things.
But, you know, because he is the, he's the system, right?
He's the face of the way that we've been running this system forever for hundreds of years.
Joe Biden is now the face of it.
And what an appropriate face.
Could there be more of an appropriate phrase?
That hollowed out, gargoyle face of someone who knows where the bodies are buried, which is why he was elected, and is basically trying to put a face on American military policy, militarism, American empire building, and financial, you know, the dominance of large corporations in America as the arbiters of national policy.
That is what Joe Biden was elected to do and then give you little, you know, dangle little things like, oh, here's a year off community college and all these things that may, and oh, we have, look at this, a trans Batman, all these things that make you think there's actual progress happening.
But what he really is elected to do is doing what he does, right?
He's a symbol of national death.
And it's not that he's horrible either.
I mean, there could have been a lot worse, right?
They could have elected, you know, worse people.
Maybe at this stage of our empire's decline, having a dead president is better than having a live one.
I don't know.
That's a fair debate.
But what you're seeing now is you are seeing, you know, the real rubber meets the road reality of that our lifestyles.
And this is, you know, was said by Russ Baker on the show.
He goes, they've been artificially subsidized for a very long time.
The things that we take for granted, the way that we live, the homes that we live in, the gas we put in our cars, the credit that we charge, all of the things that we need, all of these things, we never really think about them.
Ridiculous Things We Swallow00:08:46
We always know that someone somewhere bails us out.
There's always somebody that bails the system out.
There is always somebody that comes from up above, some Illuminati meeting, some fucking a group of people chanting in the woods figures it out.
There's always somebody above us.
There's an adult.
There's mommy and daddy.
And yes, they're the Luciferian elite, but they kind of always come through at the end and they keep the Chick-fil-A pumping.
And that's all we really think about.
We think about at the end of the day, somebody always comes from some dark crevice or corner, from some smoke-filled room, from some dark, I don't know, a basement cellar of a mansion in Newport, Rhode Island.
Some, you know, humanoid figure comes out and saves the day.
There's always some backroom deal made that bails us out.
And it's really, it's a prayer that that happens now.
If it doesn't happen now, I don't know what will happen.
I don't know what will happen.
The thing that we have going for us is a massive military.
That's what the dollar is backed up by, right?
The power of the gun.
So we do have a massive military.
There's that.
But there's not too much else going for us.
And that's a little scary.
And I don't know how many backroom deals are going to save us right now.
It is something where even the menial understanding that I have of these things is that they are very bad and they are not good.
That's the, you know, that's the Kamala Harris explanation.
Russia is a bigger country than invaded Ukraine, which is a smaller country.
So I'll do the Kamala Harris explanation.
Banks, when they have money, are good.
Banks without money are bad.
But that's why they explain things to you like three-year-olds because they think you are a three-year-old.
I mean, that's really what we've seen.
I mean, this is idiocracy in real time.
We have seen the things you're supposed to swallow and accept get increasingly ridiculous over time, increasingly ridiculous over time.
So we're at a point now where the reason that you've been able to get people to accept all this gobbledygook is because you can still put food in their faces and they can still turn on their air conditioner and things haven't completely collapsed.
They have in other parts of the country that we ignore, but now it might be coming for all of us.
So the hope is that somewhere, some reptile figures, something out, this is, you know, this is time to basically hope that this is not a massive failure of all the banks.
This is not going to look good because it doesn't turn into a glorious Marxist revolution.
What it just turns into is a lot of fat people in the street sitting down.
There's going to be a lot of fat people sitting in the street.
It's not going to look good.
There's going to be a lot of large overweight people sitting in the street and you're going to have to walk around them and walk over them.
And it's going to be very, very difficult.
You know, it's basically, it's like a line at a ride for Disney World, but everybody's given up because they're like, we don't even know what's happening.
Is it broken?
The fat people yell as they sit on the line.
Is it broken?
It is.
It is broken.
Sam Hyde tweeted something or retweeted something that was really funny about that America was a carnival.
People in America are now becoming aware that they are on a carnival ride or on a carnival that is closing down.
And it was just these people like throwing things in like a Walmart or something.
But that is kind of analogous to what it does feel like a little bit.
It's like we've gone on all the rides, but now it is kind of, it is closing down.
And listen, I'm only asking for, I am only asking for your patience because whatever happens, there's going to be, there's going to be, we can, here's the good thing about our food supply.
It's chemicals.
This is the good thing.
The good thing about our food supply is it's chemicals.
It's not going anywhere.
Those same chemicals that spilled all over those people's yards in Palestine, Ohio.
Where's that in the news, by the way?
And I'm still trying to do the fucking benefit show.
It's hard to get avails from theaters around there.
Relax.
I'm going to do it with Matt Reif, who's the hot comedian with the six-pack.
It's going to be weird.
It's going to be like two guys on stage and the same person.
And half of the audience will be his fans, which is like hot chicks.
And half of the audience will be my fans, Jan 6.
But the point is, what we're doing is we're trying to figure that out.
But the same chemicals that are in those spills are used at the olive garden.
It's the olive garden.
It's the same chemicals.
There's no difference.
The good news is you've been eating chemicals for your entire life.
In Europe, people will die.
If someone from Europe ate at the Olive Garden, they would drop dead in the parking lot.
They would go, because your body wouldn't be able to handle it.
But you have been acclimated to chemicals your entire life.
So when we have to eat chemical sludge, because that's the only thing left, your system will go, tastes like a tour of Italy to me.
So that's a good thing.
Here's another great thing.
We have a lot of space in America.
Nobody talks about this.
We have acres and acres and acres and acres of land.
There's a lot of fucking land.
There's more than enough land for everybody to set up their own tiny house, live out of a van, whatever.
There's a lot of land.
It's a lot of land.
Not great land because the rich have taken all of that.
You know, the coasts and the waters and the rivers.
There's not a lot of that, but there's a lot of flat, hot, dusty land that is land that you can live on.
This isn't panic time by any stretch.
If you don't mind living in a car, living by your wits, you know, getting a weapon, learning how to skin a deer.
Watch Rogan.
They'll tell you about the backstrap, how to do it.
This is not a bad time.
This is an invigorating time.
I think it's an exciting time for people.
This is a time where I think people are going to actually start to connect with who they really are as people.
They go, well, I don't want to walk into that office.
Don't like your job?
Good news.
You don't have one anymore.
Don't like to commute to work?
Great news.
There's no work to commute to.
Get a tiny house or a van.
Live on the side of the highway.
There's a lot of land.
This is why this crazy bitch, Marianne Williamson, who was just, by the way, who I love and I'm going to support.
I don't know if she'll ever be my new Lori.
There'll never be another Lori.
June 9th, Chicago Theater, Tyndale and Comedy.com.
We will celebrate the life and legacy of the great Lori Lightfoot.
The life and legacy of Lori Lightfoot celebrated June 9th, Chicago Theater.
But Marianne Williamson is now being accused.
She's now being accused of abusive behavior to staff or something like that, which makes the maybe I'll support her.
It's turning into a definite.
And I don't know what people don't understand about these crystal bitches.
I'm going to call them.
Have you ever met these crystal bitches?
The crystal bitch will fly off the handle like no one else.
People that are Zen and go, it's all just, and Marianne Williamson's got that twang.
And she goes, the healthcare system in America, and it is not right.
There is a difference between health insurance and health care and health care, you know, and when she is, you know, she has that nice, soft voice and she's just trying to tell you about life because life is about energy and energy is all around us at all times.
And it's a choice.
It's making a choice.
And I'm a narcissist.
I think only of myself every minute of the day, but I actually talk about others.
But when I'm talking about other people, I'm thinking only of myself and my energy and how I'm feeling and what I need to do.
And other people are actually just ideas to me.
That's me.
I'm Marianne Williamson.
And by the way, that doesn't mean she can't do some good shit if she gets in there because a lot of people do good stuff by accident, most of them.
But Marianne Williams is a crystal bitch and these crystal bitches fly off the fucking handle.
You know, people say it would be foaming, spitting, uncontrollable rage, said a former staffer, who, like most people that spoke with Politico, was granted anonymity because of their concerns about being sued for breaking non-disclosure agreements.
It was traumatic, and the experience in the end was terrifying.
Because here's what makes Marion Williamson terrifying.
The rage is unexpected.
When you work for, you know, if you work for a Chris Christie, a big fat guy, you know he's going to blow up.
He's going to blow up.
Marion Williamson's Terrifying Rage00:06:18
Blood sugar is low.
But when you work for Marianne Williams, it all starts like this.
It starts like this.
We can do real good things together.
We can do real good things.
Now, did you get me my coffee?
You did?
Okay.
It's a little cold now.
This coffee's a little cold.
No, it's a little cold.
That's all.
No, it's not a big deal.
You know, the real problem in this country is, you know, people are living in food deserts and they don't have access to, you know, high-quality vegan meals.
You know what?
I got to be honest, this coffee is kind of bothering me a little more than I thought it would be, but it's fine.
I'm not going to, I'm not going to make.
Are you Mexican by any chance?
I love that.
I spent time in Santa Fe.
There was a writer's retreat.
I was a writer.
I am a writer.
I am a writer.
I wrote all of my, I don't do ghostwriters.
The people will tell you I actually wrote all of my books.
And I was in Santa Fe.
We did a writer's retreat.
And the Mexicans were actually, because so much of what we eat here that's Mexican food is very unhealthy, but that's not what they eat in Mexico.
They eat a lot of braises and meats and stews.
And there's actually a lot of vegetables.
And I learned that it's like I'm drinking iced coffee, actually.
It's really, it feels like I'm drinking ice here, which is not what I'm trying to do.
I'm trying to warm my soul.
But anyway, in Santa Fe at the writer's retreat, I'm a writer.
I was sitting there and these lovely abuelas, is that what you call them?
These abuelas, these Mexican grandmothers, oh man, they might have been 80, 90, 150 years old.
I don't know.
But these abuelas would come in every day with these blankets.
Now, I swear they'd knit these blankets overnight and they'd knit them with the spirit of their people.
It was beautiful.
And they would come in.
And, you know, every now and then they would swaddle me like a child and put me to sleep.
And the thing about when the coffee's cold, the thing about it is it hurts my throat.
And my throat gets cold.
That's the thing.
That's the only problem.
That's the only problem.
Honey, so what I'm saying is, and do you have an Abuela?
Oh, she's passed on into the other realm.
Well, I mean, peace to her.
But these Abuelas would, they would, they would, they would, they would swaddle me and they would just, they would tell me the tales of the, that they would tell the Mexican children.
And I just, and from that, it was just such a beautiful moment of transference of energy from one abuela to a young writer in Santa Fe, New Mexico at a retreat.
Did I ask for lemon bar?
I think I did.
Am I losing my mind?
Am I losing my mind or did I ask for lemon bar?
Okay, because we're trying to change the world here.
We're trying to change the fucking world, okay?
And I'm telling you right now, for the love of God, if you fuck with me here and I'm just trying to put it, I'm a little laid on the line.
I'm just going to lay it on the line.
My goal is to help other people.
But if you fuck with me here, I swear to God, I swear to God, I'll come back and I'll kill you from every life.
I'll kill you from every fucking lifetime that I've ever lived.
I'm drinking icy fucking coffee.
I'm the only person in America that went to the writer's retreat in Santa Fe and was swallowed by old Mexican Abuelas so that I could come here and communicate the truth from their ancient people.
And I'm telling you right now, I shouldn't be drinking cold coffee without a fucking lemon bar.
I'm just saying, honey, I'm not trying to fly off the handle.
I'm not trying to fly.
Are you gay?
My first husband was gay, and that was fine.
I knew that when I married him, it didn't matter because I believe in energy and energy is the purest form of love.
And it didn't matter to me that he had sex with man.
That didn't really bother me.
What bothered me was the lying.
Isn't it always the lying that bothers you?
That's what bothered me.
I would tell him, I would say, listen to me, Christopher.
Kind of a gay name, Christopher.
I'd say, Christopher, I know everything you're doing and with everybody.
And that's fine with me.
I just don't need you lying about it.
I don't need you lying about it.
And it's just like, you know, it's one of those things in life.
And, you know, we're great friends to this day.
I mean, we, of course, have the restraining order.
He has one on me.
So I cannot see him in the physical person, but we are always communicating through our dreams.
And I'm just telling you this.
I'm just telling you this right now.
If there's ever cold coffee on this fucking desk again, I'm going to fucking murder you.
You understand?
I'm going to kill you.
And then I will kill you as many times as I can.
I will chase you through these lives because we get many lifetimes.
But here's the thing.
In every lifetime, I've been a self-important cunt.
And I will always be a self-important white woman and a cunt.
Always.
You understand that?
Fucking dummy.
You understand that, you dumb fuck.
You're poor as fuck.
That's why you can't eat good food like I do.
You poor fat fuck.
America's a bunch of poor fat fucks because they can't eat stars like I do.
I eat the fucking Milky Way and the galaxy, not the fucking bar.
I eat raw energy, bitch.
I eat agave syrup and I put it in my pussy.
That's what I do.
I own a farm of agave cactuses and I rub my clit with them, the spiky ones.
That's what I do.
And then I offer the blood as a sacrifice to Odin.
If you ever fuck with my coffee again, I'll rip your fucking throat out.
I'll rip your fucking throat out, you dirty cunt.
Do you understand me?
You dirty, dirty, dirty, wetback cunt.
Get my fucking coffee right or I'll kill you!
But that's what happens to people like Marianne Williamson because, again, they are in a different vibrational plane.
They don't need a lot of the things that we need.
They're fed by energy.
But she's our favorite.
I hope she sticks with this.
I hope she doesn't leave.
I want to see her flip out more because you got to remember when you're a crystal bitch, everything's about you.
Everything's about you.
Everything's about you, right?
So whenever that apple cart is upset, even the slightest bit, it's a real nightmare.
But as always, we thank everybody for listening.
Tim DillonComedy.com.
We have live shows on sale in really cool places, Chicago and San Francisco, two of my favorite markets to do comedy.
We're also in Portland, Tacoma, North Charleston, Hershey, PA, Chicago, Illinois, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, ending it in San Francisco, and then we're kind of taking off the summer to just podcast.
First Republic Bank Run00:15:37
It is my sincere hope that we are not in an insane crisis, a financial crisis.
But if it is, I've already pleaded with you.
Spare my life.
I'll show you where the others are.
I get the, I'm friends with the chefs.
We'll put the gun to the chef.
We'll make them make all the good food for us.
Please, I'm with you.
Please.
But behave.
Behave if it gets bad because there's going to be a can of pasta and a bag of cake, cake and bits for the kids and for you.
And there will be coffee and there will be drugs and there will be Netflix.
And don't worry about it.
There's nothing better than eating a can of pasta and watching fucking Outer Banks.
How about that?
You eat a little bag of cake and you watch Little Wednesday and go, what's the difference between this and Harry Potter?
And you go, oh, shut up.
Who cares?
The country's collapsed.
Doesn't really matter.
TimDillonComedy.com.
Now we have an interview with an insider at Silicon Valley Bank who's calling us anonymously.
Here we go.
All right, we have an anonymous insider now from Silicon Valley Bank and we appreciate you calling us.
We're going to keep your identity secret because I think to my understanding, you still may be working there.
But we do, we checked you out and you are legit and we do appreciate you calling.
Are you still working in the bank in any capacity or what's going on?
Yeah, so we're being what used to be Silicon Valley Bank is being run by the Fed at the moment.
They actually disappointed their own CEO the other day, some greed guy.
I forgot his last name, Papadopoulos or something like that.
But the old company that used to be SBB, I think it's called SBB Financial, had just filed for bankruptcy today.
So they're a different entity than we are right now.
I think at the moment we're called Silicon Valley Bridge something or the other.
But yeah, we're being run by the Fed at the moment.
So I think that makes me a government employee.
Well, congrats.
And people are saying, and I know this is maybe outside of your range of expertise.
People are positing that you had Signature Bank collapse, Silicon Valley Bank.
People are now saying Credit Suisse obviously getting an infusion, I believe $52 billion from a central bank in maybe Switzerland, if I recall.
That's correct.
That's correct.
Right.
People are still saying they're bringing up the Lehman Brothers situation where they also had kind of this restructuring going on over the weekend, looking at different scenarios for the bank, and then it's still collapsed.
Nouriel Rubini has said a rate hike.
European Central Bank, I believe rate hike could, by even half a basis point, might collapse the bank.
And then you might also see, you know, just kind of this like Black Monday like you had in 2008 with Lehman Brothers, you know, but obviously being Credit Suisse.
And then a First National Bank taking a bunch of other small retail banks with it.
Credit Suisse being about a trillion, but of course, you know, untold more money as well.
And then, you know, I believe it's, is it Signature Bank?
I'm sorry, it's First National, right?
That's also.
I think there's First Republic Bank.
First Republic.
Yeah.
So First Republic.
And they have, you know, maybe 10 or 12 smaller regional banks.
Is it your estimation it could get that bad Monday?
Or you don't know?
I mean, I'm not here to, you know, like doom and gloom, but it definitely seems like, you know, everything that the Fed is trying to do at the moment seems to not be working the way that they intended it.
And, you know, banks are now, banks that were, you know, like First Republic Bank is a bank that is run well.
It's a great institution.
And they're failing because of a bank run.
You know, it's nothing, no fault of their own.
So it definitely seems like they just don't want to, it seems like they're trying to like just avoid bailing out the entire system altogether, but it seems that it's leading that way.
Like, you know, like you said, this isn't exactly my area of expertise, but, you know, the feeling that I get is that everyone is just on edge.
Things are changing hour by hour.
So, you know, I've just been constantly on standby this entire week, just waiting to see, you know, what next little bit of news that we get.
So how did Silicon Valley Bank is a bank run as well, right?
This is why Silicon Valley Bank failed.
Is this something that initially?
Yeah.
I, you know, I forgot the exact wordings for it, but yeah, it was the initial problems are caused by a bank run.
All these Silicon Valley tech companies keep like large amounts of cash with us and our financial dealings spooked them and they all just started taking their money out of the bank.
So yeah, that's what started all this back on last Thursday.
And is this people are blaming kind of Peter Thiel for this?
Is this something that you do you put any credence in that?
Like the idea that he was kind of running around telling people they're insolvent and taking all his money out?
Yeah.
You know, from what I've been told, yeah, Silicon Valley Bank was insolvent back in September.
And it just seems like they were just avoiding offloading all, you know, that dang capital that they had.
And, you know, when they, you know, when they finally did that, you know, that's when the bank runs started to happen.
But it, you know, it's all, you know, this, it's, it was an unfortunate situation just because, you know, the senior management at Silicon Valley Bank just made some really horrible, risky decisions and kind of ran their entire company into the ground and, you know, sold off all their stock, you know, in the process of it.
So tell me what risky decisions you think they made that ran, as you said, the company into the ground.
Well, I mean, for as small of a bank, you know, SUB isn't exactly like a, you know, it's not a small financial institution, but it's not a large one either.
And during the pandemic, things were going great for us.
We were expanding at a rate that seemed, you know, unsustainable, honestly, for a bank of our size.
And, you know, as soon as the economy started going south a little bit, then we were making layoffs.
And it just, it seemed like the decisions that were being made by our executives, they thought things were going to be, you know, great forever.
Interest rates are going to be low forever.
And then as soon as they started to increase, we were put in a very bad situation almost immediately.
What kind of place was it like to work?
It was, you know, it was a very, you know, inclusive like work environment.
You know, it was, it's a very hard place to get fired from.
You know what I mean?
Well, that's going to change.
That's about to change, huh?
Yeah, that's, but no, it was all, you know, they compensate their employees very well.
You know, that was the whole big thing news story as well.
Everyone in the company was getting their bonuses exactly at the time that the company ceased to exist, more or less.
So they treat their employees really well.
You know, we have very nice offices and it's, they definitely make you feel it's like, you know, diversity and inclusion and all that kind of stuff.
So, um, well, well, that's lovely, but that clearly didn't stop the nightmarish collapse.
No, yeah, exactly.
It's um, all the did they focus too much on that with the diversity and the inclusion and stuff like that?
Yeah, I wouldn't say that that's clearly not the reason that the bank of course it's not the reason they failed, but like but you know, it was I would definitely say it was more progressive than your average bank is, but um, you know, not overly so.
No, I didn't feel like it was.
Okay.
Okay.
Um, and and right now it's in the custody of the feds, they're running the bank and they they went to look for a buyer and they couldn't find one.
Yeah, I, you know, there are a bunch of names floated out like the Saudi Arabian sovereign fund.
They love diversity and inclusion, the Saudi Arabian Sovereign Fund.
That's what I've heard.
Yeah.
That's really, I'm sure they got really excited when they go, hey, we have a woke failing bank of non-binary people.
You want to come and get involved with this?
And the Saudis were like, of course, why wouldn't we?
By the way, the Saudis might be what's needed at Silicon Valley Bank.
They might whip it into shape.
They might come in, Muhammad MBS.
So wait a minute.
Why is nobody buying this bank in your estimation?
Why do you think it's so unattractive to people?
Is it like the balance sheet?
Is it just a mess in there?
If I'm buying this thing, is it like buying a house that's been foreclosed on and not taken care of?
It seems like this new CEO that the Fed appointed is trying to unwind all that mess at the moment.
So I think they're just trying to put the company in a position where it would be a more attractive entity to buy.
And I also think they're looking for the right buyer as well.
Silicon Valley Bank has a 50% market share with banking with venture capitalists, and they don't want that to be something that some foreign conglomerate can control or get their hands in.
So I think they want to make sure that whoever buys this company in the future has their best interest at heart too, I guess.
Because we don't want to give control over, I guess, a lot of potential new American companies to a sovereign wealth fund.
Yeah, I mean, it's really the only thing America's got going in Florida is the innovation part.
So yeah, we don't really want to outsource that to the highest bidder, I guess.
Right.
Right.
Well, I mean, it certainly seems like the golden era of tech is over.
That's in every article that you read now.
People are saying that's done and that, you know, you're, you're, this is kind of maybe the new normal of, you know, is that something that you are getting used to as a person?
I don't know if you work more in the banking sector or if you're, you know, in, you know, fintech or whatever you're in, but like, what are you preparing for a life, you know, kind of very much like the, when the manufacturing jobs went overseas and many of those people had to live horrible lives in the middle of the country and became addicted to opioids.
Do you, are you preparing?
Are you and your friends preparing for that?
Oh, but, you know, it definitely seems like, you know, things can't be, you know, it can't be the golden age forever.
So it definitely had to unlock eventually.
I think it's happening a little bit faster than most people expected it to.
And, you know, these are all, you know, like Silvergate, SCB, these are all companies that were doing business with FTX and in the cryptocurrency as well.
Do you do you think crypto hastened this collapse, the financial system getting in bed with crypto?
Did that hasten this?
It didn't help.
I'll say that for sure.
It definitely didn't help.
Why did financial institutions get so involved with such a speculative asset?
Now, obviously, we could ask this question with subprime mortgages, but in crypto, when you look, if you explain cryptocurrency, right, to a McDonald's employee that got to the country a month ago on a raft, they would maybe tell you they didn't feel safe investing in it.
Why did the CEOs of these banks who went to Ivy League institutions get in bed with this stuff?
Oh, but it's tough to tell if they were, you know, they fell for the same bit that everybody else fell for or if they knew and just felt like they can make some money in the short term off of it.
So it was probably money.
It was greed.
It was the idea that it was.
I mean, it's, I think it always comes down agreed with, especially when you get up to those like people that work in like the higher episode industry.
They definitely see an opportunity to make, you know, maybe they don't, you know, you figure they are smart people, so they might not have fallen for the whole like FTX like grift, but they definitely saw an opportunity to, you know, increase their personal wealth.
So, I mean, no, that's a little, yeah, I'm not an expert on cryptocurrency by any means.
What do you, can you talk about what you did at the bank?
I'm a security.
I was a security.
I just did IT.
What, can you talk a little bit about what you did?
Yeah, I work in like the, the payments department, doing like operations as an analyst.
Okay, so it's more on.
Oh, you know, we're all the people that do what people were talking about.
You know, on thursday and friday when people were trying to take all their money out of the bank.
You have a horrible connection.
Is there anywhere you can go to get a little bit of a better connection on your phone is?
Is Silicon Valley bank shutting off the phones?
I don't know.
I got yeah, I mean, can you hear me better now?
Yes okay um sorry, I forgot what we were talking about.
Um, the failure of your bank destroying the economy.
Um no uh, we were talking about what you did for the bank.
You said you worked in operations.
Yeah so yeah, right now it's a difficult time in operations, just because, as we get back online, we're trying to sort out what clients still need the money that they sent requests for last week.
Um, you know who took their business elsewhere.
Um, what needs to be redone.
What you know it's in operations.
It involves like, foreign currency as well, so we need to like reestablish connections with all the foreign banks that we used to work with that refused to work with us last week.
So um, it's been a whole process trying to like get that system back online.
And, you know, based on what i've been told, it should be better next week.
But um, you know, like I said, things change hour by hour, so I really don't know what to expect.
What do you think the future is of Silicon Valley BANK?
Does it have any shot?
Um, you know, from what i've been told by our new ceo, the plan at the moment is to run SCB as a company, like it normally was, until they, you know, find a potential buyer.
So I think that's the direction they would like to head.
You know, run it, get it back on its feet, make it look like, you know, something you would actually want to buy and then just, you know, try to.
So now, has it explained the bailout?
It has been bailed out it.
It has yeah, I mean it, it has been bailed out.
At this point it's being run by the government and all the you know, all the deposits are fully 100 back.
Actually, I saw an advertisement for SCV the other day saying it's the safest place to deposit your money at the moment.
So yeah, not on my show right now.
Yeah, the safest place to keep your money is Athletic Greens, not SVB.
Well listen, we appreciate taking the time to fill us in.
I think that like um, this is obviously something that's changing hour by hour, as you said, and you know, people are really thinking about monday as like a real, you know, like black monday situation, but maybe that's not true.
Phoenix to Middle Country00:02:55
Hopefully it's not true.
Um yeah, i'd still like to have a job.
That'd be nice.
What do you live up in the Bay area?
Um no, I live in uh, like Paradise Valley in uh, Phoenix.
Okay, and you, but you work for SVB from Phoenix.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, so we have uh yeah, one of the biggest offices is located in Tempe actually, I think the biggest I see the office is located in.
Okay well listen, we wish you well, we hope that you, you know, figure out, you know, a new career for yourself when this comes down.
Do you have any other skills?
Um no, I don't, but you know they, financial institutions love hiring white men with like under, you know that really don't have any skills.
Besides, like Microsoft, you know proficiency, so I think i'll be fine.
Did you go to a good school?
Um yeah, I yeah, I think I can't really say too much.
It's a it's, it was a really small uh school uh, it's like a small business school.
So I think yeah, i'd rather not say like Wharton no no, it wasn't that nice like an Aggu League, right?
Okay, i'm not, i'm no genius, we.
We believe you Well, thank you so much for calling in, and we really appreciate it.
We'll keep your identity secret, and we hope everything works out at SVB.
But let me tell you what will, I believe, happen to many of you people.
You will move to the middle of the country.
You will become addicted to drugs.
There will be generations of your families that will be destroyed.
You will be met with complete and utter contempt from the public, but really apathy.
Apathy is the main thing that you will deal with because people will not care about your communities.
We will dump chemical spills there and we will not care.
You will end up 10 to 15 years from now smoking cigarettes out of a narcotics anonymous meeting before a relapse at a small biker bar on the outskirts of town.
This is what will happen, and it deservedly so to everybody in tech or that has aided or abetted that in any way.
I'm not saying this is good or bad, or I'm not calling for this to happen.
I'm telling you what will happen.
This is from history.
This will happen.
You will eat at grocery stores where the meat isn't good, and there will be mold on even the frozen chicken that you will try to serve to your family.
It will be very difficult for you to hold on.
This is a hellscape that you will inherit.
But until that time, and even during that time, you know, the Tim Dylan show does nothing but wish you well.