The Tim Dillon Show - 333 - Mike Recine Aired: 2023-01-29 Duration: 01:03:50 === Dating Age Gaps and Creeps (09:41) === [00:00:30] Mike seen one of my oldest friends at comedy. [00:00:33] We just looked at an article here. [00:00:34] It says, I'm dating a 23-year-old woman who looks like an eight-year-old. [00:00:38] I'm not a creep. [00:00:39] Yeah, nobody thought that. [00:00:40] Show this article sometimes. [00:00:47] Old to catch a predator clips will come up on my TikTok. [00:00:49] Yeah. [00:00:50] And it's really funny. [00:00:50] I mean, you like you forget that how wild that show was. [00:00:53] It was so fun. [00:00:54] But they all thought they were going to get to go home afterwards. [00:00:57] Yeah. [00:00:58] Well, they thought it was like a warning. [00:01:00] Yeah. [00:01:00] Yeah. [00:01:00] Like they were like, I get it. [00:01:02] Yeah. [00:01:02] You're right. [00:01:03] I'm sorry. [00:01:04] No, I won't. [00:01:04] I won't tell an eight-year-old boy I want to suck his cock ever again. [00:01:08] I'm wrong here. [00:01:09] Yeah. [00:01:10] Never happened again. [00:01:11] Thank you. [00:01:11] Yeah. [00:01:12] Now, this guy's dating. [00:01:13] He's 23 and he's date. [00:01:15] Wait, the woman's 23. [00:01:16] Yeah. [00:01:16] But she looks eight. [00:01:18] It's not really a story. [00:01:19] I mean, what's the big deal? [00:01:21] Yeah. [00:01:21] She looks like this. [00:01:22] This is the thing. [00:01:24] She literally looks like she looks like a ventriloquist. [00:01:27] Yeah. [00:01:27] She's a and TLC, of course, has done a show about her because why wouldn't TLC? [00:01:33] And her name is Shauna Ray. [00:01:35] And there's something wrong with her, clearly. [00:01:40] People don't understand that I am an adult. [00:01:43] She's from Long Island. [00:01:45] She's from Long Island. [00:01:48] It's a second season of cancer. [00:01:50] Oh, yeah. [00:01:51] The second season of the show premieres and follows Ray as she looks for love and considers whether she wants to pursue a college degree. [00:01:59] Looks for love. [00:02:00] So it's just to catch a predator. [00:02:02] Yeah. [00:02:03] Now the show is just called my eight-year-old girlfriend. [00:02:06] Yeah, my eight-year-old bride. [00:02:08] My child bride. [00:02:10] I mean, this is not. [00:02:12] Can you imagine if you brought her? [00:02:17] She does look like a child. [00:02:18] Can you imagine if you brought her to your parents and you said, This is my girlfriend, Shauna Ray? [00:02:25] Yeah. [00:02:26] If you look at me, you see an eight-year-old, she told the post. [00:02:29] But if you took the time to look at the details of my face, my hands, the maturity of my body, if you take the time to actually talk to me, you really understand that I'm a 20-year. [00:02:36] But I'll tell you what, I have tits and my pussy gets wet. [00:02:39] Okay. [00:02:40] What is the dude? [00:02:42] Like, what's his story? [00:02:43] She's kind of attractive, though. [00:02:44] She's not bad looking. [00:02:45] Yeah, I mean, what's the problem here? [00:02:47] I mean, uh, well, look at this photo. [00:02:51] Look at that photo. [00:02:53] It's just the way she's dressing. [00:02:54] She's got to dress a little older. [00:02:56] I mean, he's a pedophile. [00:02:57] Yeah. [00:02:58] You know, right? [00:03:00] Yeah, but that's the best way to be a pedophile, don't you think? [00:03:02] It's the best. [00:03:02] Look at him. [00:03:03] Look how happy he is. [00:03:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:03:04] He found it. [00:03:06] He found it. [00:03:08] Like, look how thrilled he is. [00:03:10] He's like, wait a minute. [00:03:13] He's like, God. [00:03:15] She's like, I have this condition. [00:03:17] I'm actually 23. [00:03:18] He's like, thank you, Jesus. [00:03:20] He goes to the chat room. [00:03:21] He goes, guys, I found a 23-year-old. [00:03:22] She looks like she's eight. [00:03:23] And the guy's like, Nan, I just molest kids in my neighborhood. [00:03:26] He's like, writing, he goes, listen, guys, the thing that we all want does exist. [00:03:30] Yeah. [00:03:30] Yeah. [00:03:31] You can have your cake and eat it too. [00:03:33] Yeah. [00:03:34] I do a bit about like the day you realize that you're not a pedophile. [00:03:37] That's not a great day in your life. [00:03:38] Right. [00:03:39] You know, this is it's it's weird to see. [00:03:43] Yeah. [00:03:44] And uh, it's unfortunate that, but she deserves probably gets carded a lot. [00:03:50] She guesses her. [00:03:51] Carted. [00:03:52] She's not allowed in the thing. [00:03:53] They'll go, this is a fake ID. [00:03:54] She'll go, it's a government-issued ID. [00:03:56] They'll go, get the fuck out. [00:03:57] Yeah. [00:03:58] It is not. [00:03:59] I mean, at the end of the day, I think that she deserves love. [00:04:03] Yeah. [00:04:04] Yeah. [00:04:04] Does she have a condition or something? [00:04:08] She has a condition. [00:04:10] I mean, she has to. [00:04:11] Yeah. [00:04:13] Right? [00:04:13] The condition is called eight-year-old pussy syndrome. [00:04:18] And they met. [00:04:19] They met. [00:04:19] I mean, let's see, hear what he says. [00:04:22] The way me and Shauna met was, I saw the first season of the show. [00:04:25] I was really inspired by her emotional strength. [00:04:28] The way me and Shauna met was, I went to Thailand and I said, hey, are there any eight-year-olds in this hotel where I can get some action? [00:04:36] Oh, yo, it's just subtitles. [00:04:38] No. [00:04:39] Yeah, I mean, like, it's sad because this is a girl who deserves companionship. [00:04:44] She's 23 years old. [00:04:46] Yeah. [00:04:46] The problem is you're inherently suspect of the guy that wants to take her out. [00:04:51] Well, you just can't like kiss her in public. [00:04:53] I mean, it's every single restaurant. [00:04:55] Is this your daughter? [00:04:56] Yeah. [00:04:56] Is this your daughter? [00:04:57] Yeah. [00:04:58] You know? [00:04:59] Right. [00:04:59] Imagine. [00:05:00] You'll take her to no boo. [00:05:01] If you go to the honeymoon suite with her, the police will be called. [00:05:06] They will call the police. [00:05:07] So it's difficult. [00:05:09] Yeah. [00:05:09] Now she's 23. [00:05:11] She needs to find somebody that has her condition. [00:05:13] Sure. [00:05:14] But they probably don't look good. [00:05:16] Or just like another eight-year-old boy. [00:05:18] Or she needs to start dating an age. [00:05:19] Very nice and horny. [00:05:20] But they can't dick her down. [00:05:22] Yeah. [00:05:23] She wants to get dicked down. [00:05:25] Yeah. [00:05:25] Right. [00:05:26] And this guy is willing to dick her down. [00:05:27] When do you start getting boners like around like third, like probably 12 or something? [00:05:32] I don't know. [00:05:32] Yeah. [00:05:33] I imagine, but still, she wants a man. [00:05:35] She's fully formed 23-year-old in her brain. [00:05:39] Right, right. [00:05:39] So she's looking for a guy. [00:05:41] Yeah. [00:05:41] And the problem is, look, go up, go up, go up for a second. [00:05:45] Look at this. [00:05:45] Look at this. [00:05:46] Hold on. [00:05:46] He looks so young. [00:05:48] Oh, who's that guy? [00:05:49] I don't know. [00:05:50] Shauna's blind date with a firefighter. [00:05:52] Yeah, let's watch this. [00:05:53] So they have like the same condition, I guess. [00:05:55] I'm a little nervous. [00:05:56] What the fuck? [00:05:59] I meet someone who's gone through some of the things. [00:06:01] By the way, by the way, by the way. [00:06:05] What? [00:06:06] Like, my just date other kids. [00:06:08] Can you imagine your parents and coming home and saying, this is my girlfriend, Shauna Ray? [00:06:15] Yeah. [00:06:15] Look. [00:06:19] Nice to meet you John Tom. [00:06:20] Nice to meet you. [00:06:20] Nice to meet you. [00:06:21] By the way, stop this for a second. [00:06:23] What the fuck is TLC doing? [00:06:27] Can we arrest the people that work at TLC? [00:06:31] Can we arrest the executives that work at TLC? [00:06:35] Like, some people think I'm eight, but you know, this mouth ain't eight years old. [00:06:38] This mouth does things that only a 47-year-old woman knows how to do. [00:06:45] Don't worry about me. [00:06:47] My mouth knows exactly what to do. [00:06:51] I'm no eight-year-old. [00:06:53] Let's get you in my pussy. [00:06:55] Let's watch this. [00:06:56] Sure. [00:06:57] Beautiful. [00:06:57] Come on. [00:06:58] It's just right. [00:06:58] But what? [00:06:59] This isn't even like... [00:07:02] I was like, oh, he's taller. [00:07:04] There's already a foot difference. [00:07:05] I was like, we'll see how the similarities are there. [00:07:08] People who watch this are so are just sick. [00:07:10] You know? [00:07:12] My wife said, I mean, my wife likes to send me Instagram reels. [00:07:15] She sent me one the other day. [00:07:16] It was like, it started off. [00:07:17] It goes, this child's eyes were glued shut. [00:07:19] Women like to watch, like, we watch like beheading videos, you know, and people shitting or whatever. [00:07:24] But the stuff that women watch is actually way more sick. [00:07:27] It's sick. [00:07:28] You know? [00:07:28] They want to, well, the whole... [00:07:30] Disability kids, disabled kids. [00:07:33] Well, the thing, there's shows on TikTok that show the most deformed people that are all in like relationships. [00:07:39] And it really makes you feel sad if you're not in a relationship because you see people who are like truly like, it'll just be a head with seeds. [00:07:46] And they'll be like, this person is in a relationship. [00:07:50] You'll be some guy in India who's like a snake. [00:07:53] It's the body of a snake. [00:07:54] And then his wife's a mongoose. [00:07:55] Yeah. [00:07:55] And then they go, and this is his wife. [00:07:57] And she's like a normal-looking person. [00:08:00] So, this is the boyfriend meeting the parents. [00:08:02] Oh, yeah, this is great. [00:08:04] Sean, now it doesn't help that her bedroom is decorated like an eight-year-old. [00:08:08] Yeah, and what do y'all plan on doing? [00:08:13] Make sushi. [00:08:14] I've been talking to this guy named Dan recently, and we've been talking for a bit. [00:08:18] He's actually visited once before. [00:08:20] What are you supposed to feel watching this? [00:08:22] What is the audience? [00:08:23] What is like, what do they want you to get out of this? [00:08:26] You know, I mean, how do we know she's not an eight-year-old? [00:08:34] By the way, what if it comes out she's eight? [00:08:38] Yeah, yeah. [00:08:41] The whole thing about her 23, that was a lie. [00:08:44] That's the season finale. [00:08:45] That's the season finale. [00:08:46] They're like, we're kidding around. [00:08:48] Yeah. [00:08:48] You are a better TLC. [00:08:54] Dan, remember how Shauna always needed Lude and she would cry after you came inside of her? [00:09:01] She would just. [00:09:03] Yeah, that's because she was a kid. [00:09:05] You're a TLC. [00:09:06] It's Nathan for you. [00:09:07] It's a new Nathan for you. [00:09:08] It's a new season of Nathan for you. [00:09:10] Let's watch a little bit more of this. [00:09:16] So, how often do you guys talk? [00:09:21] Every day, but then why are the parents like vetting him like he like they're like a Muslim family? [00:09:25] You know what it is? [00:09:26] The parents know that whoever walks through that door is a problem. [00:09:30] Is a problem. [00:09:31] They know whoever walks through that door is a normal male is not dating her. [00:09:36] Yeah. [00:09:37] Sorry. [00:09:37] Yeah. [00:09:37] Shauna. [00:09:38] Yeah. [00:09:38] A normal male who doesn't have any problems is not going to date a girl who appears to be eight. [00:09:45] Oh, so you guys are going to Chile tonight? [00:09:46] Can I just see your browsing history really quickly? [00:09:48] Yeah, yeah. [00:09:50] Tell us about your last relationship. [00:09:52] Yeah. [00:09:53] Last relationship. [00:09:57] I'm not really irritated by my family when they bring up those future questions. [00:10:01] I haven't talked about it with Dan. [00:10:03] I'm kind of letting it go as it may. [00:10:07] But it's nice to kind of try to see if he can answer it. === Parents Vetting Future Partners (02:07) === [00:10:11] Why do we have to label anything? [00:10:13] So it's a question mark. [00:10:15] Or now, what are you going to do in 30 years when she looks like she's 12? [00:10:19] Yeah, I just don't understand. [00:10:22] Number one, is this girl going to live? [00:10:24] Yeah, right. [00:10:25] That's a question, right? [00:10:26] Sure, that is. [00:10:26] How long is she going to live? [00:10:29] Like, I don't know. [00:10:31] She has some type of condition and it may be fatal. [00:10:38] That's kind of weird. [00:10:39] They're making sushi. [00:10:41] Okay. [00:10:42] That's kind of a red flag. [00:10:44] Odd. [00:10:44] Just go get it. [00:10:45] Just go get it. [00:10:47] Just go support the Asian community. [00:10:49] Why would you make sushi? [00:10:50] Well, you know why? [00:10:52] He doesn't want the embarrassment of sitting down at a table with her and having every Japanese person. [00:11:01] Yeah. [00:11:02] Whatever. [00:11:03] You might get your head cut off with a samurai because they're really into honor over there. [00:11:06] Well, they'll think it's the daughter and they'll be like, happy birthday. [00:11:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:11:42] Hei, du har kommet til Aschim, gjenferd og åndutrivelse. [00:11:45] Vi tar spøk på alvor. [00:11:47] Hei, jeg tror vi har blitt hjemmesøkt. [00:11:49] Altså, det er noen som prøver å komme seg ut av veggen her. [00:11:51] Er det noen som vet å ha det, hva? [00:11:53] Nei, ikke som jeg vet. [00:11:54] Ja, men da er Bridget Jones, da. [00:11:57] Hæ? [00:11:57] Ja, eller, du vet ikke. [00:11:59] Altså, serier, filmer, dokumentarer, sånne ting, da. [00:12:03] Å ja. [00:12:03] Alt for mange vet ikke at de har TV2Play i veggen. [00:12:06] Eller i TV-pakken, da. [00:12:07] Sjekk selv på TV2Play.no, veggen. [00:12:11] All right. [00:12:12] I mean, let's just a little bit more, because this is fascinating. [00:12:15] Okay. [00:12:15] I definitely think all those questions scared Dan just a little bit. === Pitching Restaurants in Norway (04:59) === [00:12:19] Like, I feel like he tensed up just slightly when my mom walked in. [00:12:22] Just cut. [00:12:24] You think that at some point you might settle down and kind of base yourself in one place and then travel when you other than I'll see? [00:12:32] I think traveling will always be a big part of my life. [00:12:34] So I'll always be going somewhere. [00:12:36] I really like going. [00:12:37] Yeah, I'm out running the police. [00:12:40] You know, I just really like places like Indonesia, Thailand. [00:12:44] You know, a lot traveling because sometimes I get a knock on the door and it's a bunch of men and they want to see my computer. [00:12:54] So, you know, a lot to get around. [00:12:56] Afghanistan's really fun this time of year. [00:12:58] I got a friend who's a warlord. [00:12:59] Yeah, he's got a beautiful house in Kabul. [00:13:03] This is not, is this her sister? [00:13:05] I think so. [00:13:05] I think questions. [00:13:07] I'm tired now. [00:13:10] I'm like, they're just rapid-firing questions at you. [00:13:13] Well, I guess what would be, yeah, I'm gonna ask another question. [00:13:18] What would be the expectation if you and Shauna one daughter looks like she's at the other voter for Hillary Clinton? [00:13:25] Get along, get along. [00:13:27] If something buds, yes, something buds is the expectation like for her to travel with you or the one thing I'd love to give to Shauna is the ability to see the world in different cultures. [00:13:40] The planes are tall and very small, and the hotel rooms are very, also very small. [00:13:44] And they have rules in those countries about who you can travel with. [00:13:48] You know, they don't really have the attitude like to do here. [00:13:51] I don't get the kind of looks. [00:13:54] I'm trying to take your daughter out for a nice meal. [00:13:57] It's mostly business. [00:13:59] Tall and they treat people like human beings. [00:14:01] They're not fucking nosy about everything. [00:14:06] I'd love to show us somewhere amazing around the world. [00:14:12] I think Dan would be a really good match for Shauna because he's very smart, adventurous. [00:14:17] Shauna's smart, not very adventurous. [00:14:20] I think that he could pull her out of the comfort zone, but still make her feel safe. [00:14:27] Jesus Christ. [00:14:28] Look at this lineup of the people. [00:14:32] Look at this lineup of freaks on TLC. [00:14:38] What the fuck is are they conjoining? [00:14:42] Are they gonna bring out the Indian doctor for my 600-pound wife? [00:14:45] Yeah, you are a pedophile, my friend. [00:14:48] You want to fuck children. [00:14:50] This is very bad, my friend. [00:14:52] No, I'll tell them actually. [00:14:54] She's 23. [00:14:55] Yeah, nobody should look like she's a stop. [00:14:57] Cut the bullshit. [00:14:58] Stop with the bullshit. [00:15:02] But I would love to just go into a development meeting at TLC. [00:15:07] Yeah. [00:15:07] Would there be anything off-limits? [00:15:09] Can we do that? [00:15:09] Can we do that while I'm extending my trip? [00:15:12] Yeah, tell Deb. [00:15:12] Dad, me and Tim are pitching. [00:15:15] Yeah. [00:15:15] It's like, is there anything off-limits? [00:15:17] Apparently, not. [00:15:18] I don't think so. [00:15:19] Is there anything you could pitch these people that would give them pause? [00:15:22] I don't know. [00:15:23] Let's find out. [00:15:24] I mean, it's like the crazy thing. [00:15:25] Pitching people on the phone. [00:15:28] I am Shauna Ray. [00:15:31] This is the story of two Down syndrome twins who are in love. [00:15:34] Right. [00:15:34] No, nothing, nothing makes these people stop. [00:15:37] Yeah. [00:15:38] There's not one thing that would make them go, oh, I don't know. [00:15:41] Yeah. [00:15:41] You know, they're conjoined twins. [00:15:43] Yeah. [00:15:44] And one of them's got to go. [00:15:45] Yeah. [00:15:46] TLC. [00:15:47] It's like the craziest fucking thing. [00:15:49] I guess it's fun to watch train wrecks like that. [00:15:51] I mean, I watch a lot of like kitchen nightmares, and that's fun watching people with these horrible restaurants just run their restaurants into the ground, then get yelled at. [00:16:00] Oh, it's great. [00:16:01] That's fun, but um, brain cancer left her with dwarfism. [00:16:05] That's what it is. [00:16:39] She's got tattoos trying to look older. [00:16:43] Oh my god, they just think it's a temporary tattoo. [00:16:46] It doesn't help that she's dressing like a kid, too. [00:16:48] She should go to Ann Taylor Loft to get some sensible, you know, some sensible world. [00:16:54] I'm sorry, that photo is the craziest thing about this. [00:16:58] So, you teaching your daughter how to paddleboard? [00:17:02] She's more love. [00:17:04] Something like that, something like that. [00:17:08] She's more lava. [00:17:10] Like, one day he just has enough, and he just looks at the guy. [00:17:13] He's like, She's more lova. === Splash Mountain's Racist Stereotypes (03:38) === [00:17:19] Oh, my God, I am Shawn Array. [00:17:22] God help us. [00:17:25] Have you heard they closed down Splash Mountain? [00:17:28] No, this is a big thing. [00:17:30] Splash Mountain was very a racist ride, I think. [00:17:33] Because it's Song of the South. [00:17:35] Song of the South. [00:17:36] Yeah. [00:17:36] And you'd go through it, and it was like separate water fountains. [00:17:44] All good. [00:17:46] It was like Briar Rabbit. [00:17:49] Now, apparently, that's like the most racist Disney movie. [00:17:51] Like, they won't even. [00:17:52] Because all the Disney movies, because I watch a lot of Disney Plus, all the Disney movies go, they give you warnings in the front. [00:17:58] Every single one. [00:17:58] It'll be like 101 Dalmatians. [00:18:01] They go, We're sorry for the racism in this movie. [00:18:03] Right. [00:18:04] But they don't play. [00:18:06] Song of the South has been like wiped from existence. [00:18:10] They won't even let it anywhere anywhere. [00:18:13] Anywhere. [00:18:13] Now, when did that come out? [00:18:14] Like this 1970s? [00:18:16] Look up Song of the South. [00:18:17] Because I thought it was like the 50s or something, but I think it was. [00:18:20] I think it was. [00:18:21] I think it's just the stereotype of like a southern portrayal the black community very well. [00:18:32] No, I think it's just kind of like outdated stereotypes. [00:18:38] He's like, zippity doo da, zippity. [00:18:40] That's a great song, though. [00:18:41] I really miss being a slave. [00:18:44] I didn't have to zippity dooda. [00:18:46] Oh, 1946. [00:18:47] Okay. [00:18:48] Yeah. [00:18:48] Oh, why did I say that? [00:18:50] Zippity. [00:18:53] And the guy's the CEO's, his name is Bob Iger. [00:18:56] That's two letters off from the N-word. [00:18:58] Yeah, Bob Iger. [00:18:59] Maybe they should think about that. [00:19:01] That's a real problem. [00:19:02] Yeah. [00:19:02] So Song of the South is see if you can get something up from Song of the South. [00:19:06] Let's see how bad it is. [00:19:07] There's got to be somebody on YouTube. [00:19:10] Has to probably have a now. [00:19:14] That's like the best ride of Disney World, though. [00:19:16] It was the best ride. [00:19:18] Yeah. [00:19:18] And you would go through this Song of the South village. [00:19:21] Yeah. [00:19:22] And they would play like zippity doo-dot. [00:19:25] And then it was a log flume. [00:19:26] A log flume. [00:19:27] Right. [00:19:27] That's all it was. [00:19:28] That's all it was. [00:19:29] What will it be now? [00:19:30] Just like an like, is it going to be like an explanation of how the projects were built as you're going through it? [00:19:37] Yeah, probably. [00:19:38] You'd be like, Robert Moses. [00:19:39] Like, you'd be sitting there and they'd be like, Robert Moses made the overpass. [00:19:42] It's going to be the Alex English ride. [00:19:44] Yeah. [00:19:45] Robert Moses made it. [00:19:46] The overpass is too short for buses to go out to Long Island, bringing African Americans to their new homes in the suburbs. [00:19:54] And you're like sitting there like, oh, God, this is. [00:19:56] Hmm. [00:20:28] It is the truth. [00:20:29] Nothing offensive. [00:20:31] I mean, nothing wrong. [00:20:32] It doesn't seem crazy. [00:20:33] Like, here's the thing. [00:20:34] I know it's racist. [00:20:35] Yeah. [00:20:36] But first look. [00:20:37] No, I bet if you watch the whole movie, though. [00:20:39] I'm sure it's horrible. [00:20:40] I'm sure it's horrible. [00:20:40] But this is the same thing. [00:20:41] First look is like a charming guy singing and animation. [00:20:46] It must be really bad for Disney to wipe it. [00:20:49] It must be horrible for Disney to wipe it. [00:20:51] Or it's a lot of pressure. [00:20:53] I'm sure there's outdated stereotypes that are very bad. === Disney Wiping Song of the South (14:44) === [00:20:57] And they're kind of... [00:20:59] Let's see this maybe. [00:21:00] I don't know. [00:21:00] This seems a little. [00:21:02] He's like, General Sherman was a war criminal. [00:21:05] The place where he was born and raised? [00:21:07] Back up. [00:21:09] You mean leaving for good? [00:21:13] Now, see that? [00:21:14] That old bribe patch ain't brought me nothing but trouble. [00:21:17] Ow! [00:21:19] And more trouble. [00:21:22] This is where the trouble is, and this is the place I belonged away from. [00:21:25] Don't you know you can't run away from trouble? [00:21:29] Well, I'm glad there ain't gonna be no trouble. [00:21:31] There ain't no place that far. [00:21:33] Well, just the same. [00:21:35] I done made up my mind. [00:21:36] And I ain't never coming back. [00:21:38] Well, so long, Uncle Remus. [00:21:41] Sure, you know what you was doing. [00:21:44] Don't worry about me. [00:21:45] I can take care of myself. [00:21:46] Imagine it's like 1946. [00:21:47] You're like on a date, and she's like, So what do you do for a living? [00:21:50] And you're like, oh, I'm an actor. [00:21:51] And she's like, oh, yeah, have you done anything I've seen? [00:21:53] And you're like, yeah, it was in this movie called Song of the South where I played an illiterate rabbit. [00:21:58] Yeah, there was a movie that Disney did about the South. [00:22:02] She's like, really? [00:22:03] Yeah, I don't know. [00:22:04] You know, where can I see it? [00:22:05] Well, I don't know. [00:22:06] The dark web. [00:22:07] Where can you even get you can't get Song of the South? [00:22:10] Yeah, so here we go. [00:22:11] Why is it considered racist? [00:22:13] This is good. [00:22:13] Adults and children alike will be able to appreciate the magic of visiting a Walt Disney theme park. [00:22:18] You get to meet, you get to meet an iconocast of characters and enjoy thrilling rides, inspiring a sense of, okay, shut up. [00:22:27] The decision to replace the ride was made in 2020 in response to its theme. [00:22:30] Splash Mountain is based on a handful of sequences that feature 1946 Disney movie Song of the South. [00:22:36] While some may remember, okay, come on. [00:22:39] While some may remember seeing the film, you wouldn't find it on Disney. [00:22:44] Plus, with a number of people urging Disney to save Splash Mountain, it's worth contemplating why the closure of the ride has been decided. [00:22:51] So why is the Song of the South considered racist? [00:22:53] Okay, so let's find this out here. [00:22:55] Song of the South is considered racist by some adult audiences who argue it offers a romanticized and fabricated acceptance of life on a plantation from the perspective of African-American in post-Civil War South. [00:23:08] Ultimately, accusations of racism stem from the portrayal of central character Uncle Remus, portrayed by James Basket. [00:23:14] He's presented as a storyteller who essentially offers the film's gateway into the animated world of Briar Rabbit, which features in the Splash Mountain ride. [00:23:21] Although Uncle Remus is shown to be happy with life on the plantation, this is exactly what a number of audiences criticize. [00:23:26] Okay, so that's it. [00:23:27] He's on a planet. [00:23:28] We didn't realize that. [00:23:29] Oh, okay. [00:23:32] Yeah, I mean, we didn't realize that. [00:23:35] Yeah. [00:23:37] Yeah, okay. [00:23:40] Well, that's not good. [00:23:45] Yeah. [00:23:48] Remember when they said that Sleeping Beauty was rape culture because the guy kissed her? [00:23:54] That's something. [00:23:55] Yeah. [00:23:56] Sleeping Beauty is very boring. [00:23:59] Well, The Witch is good. [00:24:00] Yeah. [00:24:00] Maleficent. [00:24:01] Yeah. [00:24:01] It's great. [00:24:02] Yeah. [00:24:02] It's actually scary. [00:24:03] The scene where Maleficent first shows up. [00:24:06] Sleeping Beauty is actually, you're like, oh, God, for kids. [00:24:08] Like, some of the Disney movies, when you look back, were like actually very dark. [00:24:11] Yeah. [00:24:11] Pinocchio is like, is nuts. [00:24:13] Yeah. [00:24:14] Kids getting turned into donkeys and thrown in an island. [00:24:16] Yeah. [00:24:17] Some of the Disney shit is weird. [00:24:20] Yeah. [00:24:20] Some of it's odd. [00:24:21] Yeah, it's odd. [00:24:21] Some of you watch it back and you go, this is strange. [00:24:26] Yeah. [00:24:27] But a lot of those fables, like even the Grimm's fairy tales back in the day were very dark. [00:24:31] Sometimes they were just dark things where they were trying to teach you a lesson. [00:24:36] These kids got to learn. [00:24:38] So somebody tweeted, shout out to the Very Confused family from Chicago trying to navigate Magic Kingdom, asking literally anyone and everyone, what is going on? [00:24:48] Is it always like this? [00:24:51] This is the last ride of Splash Mountain. [00:24:55] So they had one more ride and now they're going to rebuild the ride and make it less racist. [00:24:59] Can't they just, but what are they going to do? [00:25:00] You can still call it Splash Mountain and have a, that was, I mean, that was the best ride at Disney World. [00:25:05] I think they may still call it Splash Mountain, but I think they're going to, the theme is going to be different. [00:25:09] I don't know what the new they're selling water from Splash Mountain. [00:25:14] I mean, people that are in the Disney are sick. [00:25:16] Yeah. [00:25:16] Yeah. [00:25:17] Anyone who buys water from the Splash Mountain ride is sick. [00:25:21] Yeah. [00:25:21] And I guess they're, they're changing the entire ride. [00:25:24] It's going to be LGBT themed. [00:25:25] Probably. [00:25:26] Splash Mountain. [00:25:27] The flume is a dick that goes right through someone's ass. [00:25:32] You can take pictures of yourself the moment that you hit, you go through the ass. [00:25:36] What if Disney did that? [00:25:37] They just peek you in a little penis boat and you have to go through and then the whole ride is in terms of the AIDS crisis. [00:25:44] And then you just go down the flume and you go right through an ass. [00:25:47] Yeah. [00:25:47] Fun ride. [00:25:48] Ben Japier's like, I went to Disney World. [00:25:50] I had to go through an ass. [00:25:51] I had no idea what was going on. [00:25:54] I sat in a penis boat and I went through an ass. [00:25:56] You know, he's like a Disney guy. [00:25:59] Really? [00:25:59] He's like a Disney adult. [00:26:00] Yeah. [00:26:01] Yeah. [00:26:01] He seems like it. [00:26:02] Yeah. [00:26:03] He seems like a little bit of a freak. [00:26:05] Yeah. [00:26:06] Remember he said he'd never, his wife's pussy was never wet? [00:26:08] Yeah. [00:26:09] He goes, it's not wet. [00:26:09] It's never been wet. [00:26:10] Yeah. [00:26:10] But he's wet now. [00:26:11] Yeah. [00:26:12] Like he seems like a guy that would get a little too into Disney World. [00:26:16] Where you go like, yeah, this is not great. [00:26:22] This is not great. [00:26:23] Yeah. [00:26:24] I had some friends where I grew up with where they were really into it. [00:26:29] Yeah, my cousin went on the Disney cruise for his honeymoon, which I think is, which was strange. [00:26:34] Not good. [00:26:35] Yeah. [00:26:35] Were you fucking on the... [00:26:36] It's kind of a problem. [00:26:37] You're supposed to fuck on your honeymoon. [00:26:39] There's something about going on a Disney cruise if you don't have kids. [00:26:45] I get it. [00:26:46] Get it with the kids. [00:26:47] Yeah. [00:26:47] I totally get it. [00:26:48] But without kids, odd. [00:26:50] Yeah. [00:26:51] I wonder if they're going to do a totally different ride. [00:26:54] Does it say anything? [00:26:55] Like, I wonder if they're going to destroy it and start over or if they're going to just. [00:27:00] Yeah. [00:27:00] Just as a new theme. [00:27:02] New theme. [00:27:04] What's the theme? [00:27:06] Like, I wonder what the theme's going to be. [00:27:08] Yeah. [00:27:08] What other Disney movies are like water related? [00:27:12] Do they do Avatar? [00:27:14] Maybe. [00:27:14] It's Avatar Disney. [00:27:15] It's Pixar. [00:27:17] Yeah. [00:27:17] No, it's. [00:27:18] No. [00:27:18] What about Princess and the Frog ride? [00:27:20] That's what it's going to be. [00:27:21] Yep. [00:27:22] Oh, New Orleans theme. [00:27:23] All right, that's fine. [00:27:24] Okay, that's good. [00:27:25] Yeah. [00:27:26] A bayou adventure. [00:27:27] They'll find a way to make that racist. [00:27:29] Yeah. [00:27:30] All right. [00:27:31] Look. [00:27:31] Okay. [00:27:32] Yeah. [00:27:32] I went a little far with that. [00:27:33] Yeah. [00:27:34] Yeah. [00:27:34] Guys, how about we not do any, like, just do something futuristic? [00:27:39] Yeah. [00:27:40] He's like, Show me the salad's done. [00:27:41] Like, what are you doing now? [00:27:42] We're going to the bayou. [00:27:43] It's narrated by Cat Williams. [00:27:44] Yeah, the new world they go into the buy, they're gonna call it like the Hurricane Katrina, you know? [00:27:51] They're gonna do something where people are gonna go, this is gonna be it's gonna be Paul Mooney's Splash Mountain. [00:27:56] They're just gonna play Paul Mooney clips. [00:28:03] Tiana's Bayou Adventure is set to open late 2024 at Disney World and Disney World's Magic Kingdom. [00:28:08] The company. [00:28:08] Yeah, I didn't see that movie. [00:28:10] Did you see that movie? [00:28:11] Not at all. [00:28:12] Yeah, I heard it was good. [00:28:15] Tiana's Bay You Adventure. [00:28:17] Did you watch the new Velma on HBO, the Mindy Kaling show? [00:28:21] No. [00:28:22] Did you see it, Hunter? [00:28:23] My friends did. [00:28:24] They said it sucked. [00:28:25] Yeah, it's bad. [00:28:25] It's like mentally ill. [00:28:27] Why is it bad? [00:28:28] It's just everything. [00:28:29] It's just bad. [00:28:30] Yes, everything's bad. [00:28:31] But what's the problem? [00:28:33] It's just like about her. [00:28:34] It's just like about her story, kind of, but she just using Scooby-Doo characters. [00:28:42] Who cares about Velma? [00:28:44] Yeah. [00:28:45] It's like they made a Lord of the Rings. [00:28:46] It's all about Galadriel, who's just like a cold elf princess. [00:28:50] It's like she's not supposed to be the fucking show. [00:28:52] Yeah, nobody watched that show, huh? [00:28:54] Nobody watched that. [00:28:55] It was about Galadriel. [00:28:56] Yeah. [00:28:58] That's not the focal point of the. [00:28:59] They're like, well, women should be centered. [00:29:01] Then write another one. [00:29:02] Don't write another thing. [00:29:04] Yeah. [00:29:05] You don't have to go back to an old world and grab a female character that wasn't central and make sure that she's going to be a child. [00:29:10] Her fucking origin story. [00:29:11] Didn't that thing cost a billion dollars to make? [00:29:13] And it's just like, long ago in a world far, far away. [00:29:21] You know what show doesn't do that? [00:29:22] Yeah. [00:29:23] Tulsa King on Paramount Plus. [00:29:24] You keep plugging Tulsa King. [00:29:27] Let's get the trailer for Tulsa King. [00:29:29] I don't know. [00:29:30] I think it might be retarded, but it might not be. [00:29:32] It might be retarded. [00:29:33] I don't know if I'm a smart guy or a dumb guy. [00:29:36] You know what's going to tell us? [00:29:37] The trailer of Tulsa King. [00:29:38] Okay. [00:29:39] Let's watch this. [00:29:44] You know, it's just like, I watch, I try to watch a little bit of everything. [00:29:49] Hold on. [00:29:50] I don't know what you're expecting now that you're back. [00:29:53] I'm expecting adequate compensation. [00:29:56] Tulsa. [00:29:57] What's Tulsa? [00:29:58] I want you to go there. [00:29:59] The horse race, the Springboard Mile. [00:30:01] There's nobody doing nothing. [00:30:02] You can do whatever you want. [00:30:04] Not exactly the welcome I was expecting. [00:30:10] Name's Tyson. [00:30:11] Welcome to Tulsa. [00:30:13] Two grand a week. [00:30:14] You drive from me now. [00:30:16] What crew runs this neighborhood? [00:30:18] No crew up in here. [00:30:19] We're in the middle of nowhere. [00:30:22] What'll it be? [00:30:23] I assume you don't have a Keyon there. [00:30:25] You assume correctly. [00:30:27] Taylor Sheridan's good. [00:30:28] He's good. [00:30:29] He's good. [00:30:30] I'll tell you what. [00:30:31] This is a show. [00:30:31] He rode Yellowstone. [00:30:32] He knows what he's doing. [00:30:33] So even though this does look a little dumb, I would watch this. [00:30:37] You know exactly what's happening the whole time. [00:30:39] That's right. [00:30:40] There's no, like, like I tried to watch Andor, that Disney Plus show. [00:30:43] Okay. [00:30:43] You go, like, oh, they're trying to say something about like colonialism. [00:30:47] And, you know, like, and they're doing Star Wars, but they're trying to make it about whatever. [00:30:51] And you go, all right, I guess I can kind of follow this. [00:30:53] It's very dense. [00:30:54] Right. [00:30:55] You miss a lot of the show. [00:30:56] Of course. [00:30:56] This is like, I know exactly what's happening. [00:30:58] He fucks this lady, and then she goes, and then he tells her that he's 75 and she leaves the hotel. [00:31:06] He's a mob guy. [00:31:07] Yeah. [00:31:07] Got out of jail. [00:31:08] He's going to Tulsa. [00:31:09] Yeah. [00:31:09] That's the people who are going to be. [00:31:09] He kept his mouth shut. [00:31:11] He kept his mouth shut. [00:31:12] Yeah. [00:31:12] He's being rewarded. [00:31:13] He's going to Tulsa. [00:31:14] And it's a boomer show, but it's very self-aware. [00:31:16] Like, he's very much like a loser in this show. [00:31:18] He's very much a guy who made bad decisions. [00:31:20] Right. [00:31:20] And he's trying to fix his life. [00:31:22] Yeah. [00:31:23] I mean, listen, I think that's probably not the worst show out there. [00:31:28] The best show. [00:31:29] Okay. [00:31:29] I'm willing to buy into that. [00:31:32] Yeah. [00:31:32] I'm willing to believe that. [00:31:33] No, if you need a show to watch, I mean, yeah, you would like it. [00:31:35] I really liked it. [00:31:36] Yeah. [00:31:37] Yeah. [00:31:38] I'm waiting for Euphoria to come back. [00:31:40] Never saw it. [00:31:41] I love it. [00:31:41] Yeah. [00:31:42] I think it's great. [00:31:43] It's just like hot teens. [00:31:45] They're not teens. [00:31:45] They're adults. [00:31:47] They're playing teens. [00:31:47] They're playing teens. [00:31:48] And they're not all hot. [00:31:49] Oh, no. [00:31:50] Okay. [00:31:50] Some of them are. [00:31:51] That's good. [00:31:51] But then the rest of them are gross. [00:31:53] There's like two hot ones. [00:31:53] There's Jacob Lordians and Daya. [00:31:56] And then maybe there's a couple, you know. [00:31:58] Oh, Sidney Sweeney is hot. [00:32:00] But yeah, they're all on junk and they're all fucked up. [00:32:03] I mean, it's the American teenage days. [00:32:06] But I thought they canceled Euphoria. [00:32:08] No. [00:32:09] HBO's biggest show. [00:32:10] Oh, one of them. [00:32:11] I thought they canceled it. [00:32:12] It's actually a really good show like there. [00:32:13] It's like the father comes out of his gay. [00:32:15] He's like, he's like, I suck up. [00:32:18] And like his kids are there and his wife's standing there. [00:32:20] And she's like, go to bed. [00:32:21] He's like, I fucked a lot of guys. [00:32:23] Like, it's a third, it's a dark show. [00:32:25] Yeah. [00:32:25] It's a dark show, but it's good. [00:32:27] Yeah. [00:32:28] There's not much out there right now that is good. [00:32:31] No, everything's kind of good. [00:32:32] You know, it's good Wednesday on Netflix. [00:32:34] It's silly and they copied Harry Potter. [00:32:36] Okay. [00:32:36] But it's actually, as a silly show goes, not bad. [00:32:40] Yeah. [00:32:41] If you're interested in like, why is it the biggest show? [00:32:43] Yeah. [00:32:44] Watch it. [00:32:45] The girl Jennifer Take is insanely good at it. [00:32:47] Nice. [00:32:48] The Trump years were bad for TV and the movement, you know, because nobody knew what to say. [00:32:52] Nobody knew what to do. [00:32:54] Yeah. [00:32:54] And everybody was trying to, you know, make things that are, I think things are coming back now. [00:33:01] Everyone had to use their platform to like fight fascism. [00:33:05] That's right. [00:33:05] You know, that's when we got some, well, we listen, we had, what did we have? [00:33:09] We had Game of Thrones. [00:33:11] There were some things during the Trump. [00:33:12] That was Obama. [00:33:13] That was Obama, though. [00:33:14] Didn't it come out in like 2011? [00:33:16] Yeah. [00:33:16] When did it end? [00:33:17] It ended in, it ended probably in like 20, I don't know, 2018, 2019. [00:33:22] Yeah. [00:33:22] Yeah. [00:33:23] I can't, I can't remember. [00:33:24] 2019, I want to say. [00:33:25] There was a few good things that came out during the Trump years. [00:33:28] What? [00:33:28] I don't, yeah. [00:33:30] In my head, I'm trying to think. [00:33:32] I'm trying to think. [00:33:33] Euphoria is one of them. [00:33:35] The movie, I guess Get Out came out in 2017. [00:33:37] Get Out. [00:33:38] It was good. [00:33:42] Uncut Gems. [00:33:43] Uncut Gems was fucking amazing. [00:33:45] We saw Sandler at Nobu today. [00:33:47] Yeah. [00:33:47] I didn't see him, but I noticed. [00:33:49] He was there. [00:33:50] He was a resident of Malibu. [00:33:58] So I'm excited about, I love a House of Cards new season. [00:34:09] Spacey. [00:34:10] Yeah. [00:34:10] Robin Wright. [00:34:11] Right. [00:34:12] He's back from the dead. [00:34:14] Yeah, no one's going to, I mean, he already killed that guy. [00:34:17] So no one's, I don't think he's going to be a problem again. [00:34:19] Nobody wants to get murdered. [00:34:21] He had a few accusers. [00:34:22] He killed two of them. [00:34:24] Let him back. [00:34:25] Let him back. [00:34:26] What's the problem? [00:34:27] Yeah. [00:34:27] He's not going to, you know, no one's going to come forward now. [00:34:30] No. [00:34:30] You'd have to be an idiot. [00:34:31] You'd have to be an idiot to molest and to blow the whistle on it. [00:34:36] No, you just have to just, you just, you just, you take it. [00:34:39] Yeah. [00:34:39] Well, you know, no one wants to take risks in Hollywood. [00:34:41] That's the problem with this town. [00:34:43] No one wants to. [00:34:44] You put a good, because that last season, a house of cards was an abortion. [00:34:47] It was an aberration. [00:34:48] It was horrible. [00:34:49] Yeah. [00:34:50] But if you just say, hey, we're doing it again and everybody's going back. [00:34:55] We're going to be okay. [00:34:56] What'd you think of Many Saints in Newark? [00:34:59] Hated it. [00:34:59] I mean, yeah, nobody liked it. [00:35:00] Hated it. [00:35:01] Yeah, I hated it. [00:35:01] Terrible. [00:35:02] Hated it. [00:35:03] But I hated the Irishman, too. [00:35:06] Yeah. [00:35:06] I'm just over that whole genre. [00:35:08] Some people like the Irishman. [00:35:10] I mean, there's one comic that said that things it's better than Goodfellow. [00:35:13] Renan Hirschberg thinks it's better than Goodfellas. [00:35:16] He's crazy. [00:35:16] That's crazy. [00:35:18] But I tried to. [00:35:18] No one thinks that. [00:35:19] Here's the thing. [00:35:20] When you have a take that no one thinks, it's bad. [00:35:22] It's bad, yeah. [00:35:23] This is the state. [00:35:24] You're not unique. [00:35:25] You're not. [00:35:25] Yeah. [00:35:26] It's not a contrarian take. [00:35:27] It's a bad take. [00:35:28] When no one feels that way except you, you're having a moment that's crazy. [00:35:35] He should be harassed online for that. [00:35:37] I mean, what's his justification for that? === Hating The Irishman Genre (02:01) === [00:35:41] I don't know. [00:35:42] It's an objectively bad film. [00:35:45] The Irishman. [00:35:46] The Irishman. [00:35:47] Yeah. [00:35:49] It took me like a week to watch it, to get through it. [00:35:51] I watched it. [00:35:52] And then recently I was like, maybe I should re-watch The Irishman because maybe it is a good movie. [00:35:56] Because I had Matt Christman on my old podcast, and we talked about it. [00:35:59] And he kind of like brought up some points about why it was actually good. [00:36:02] Because it's about the end of the genre. [00:36:04] So like the genre's over, the mob movie's over. [00:36:06] Okay, well, maybe if I looked at it as that, then I could reframe it. [00:36:11] But it's not, there's nothing fun about it. [00:36:14] And I started watching it and I was like, I start, and I was like, I don't know. [00:36:17] Why not look at Song of the South like that? [00:36:18] We go, racism's over. [00:36:20] Yeah. [00:36:20] It's the end of race. [00:36:22] It's the end of racism. [00:36:23] Right. [00:36:24] This ride is actually the end of racism. [00:36:26] Yeah. [00:36:27] They should screen it at MetroGraph, actually. [00:36:29] It's the end. [00:36:30] They should have Dasha do a QA. [00:36:31] Yeah. [00:36:32] Well, I find that. [00:36:34] That's fine. [00:36:37] Yeah, I just couldn't get into The Irishman. [00:36:39] I want Scorsese to like challenge himself and make movies about trans people and like and like drag queens. [00:36:44] I want the next Scorsese movie to be all drag. [00:36:47] What about an all-drag queen mafia movie? [00:36:50] Just call it Story Hour. [00:36:52] Story Hour. [00:36:53] And it's just drag queens with defending themselves against the Proud Boys. [00:36:58] Yeah. [00:36:59] That's fun. [00:37:01] Or you could do Tulsa King. [00:37:02] It is a little weird, people showing up with guns to the story hour. [00:37:06] It is very weird. [00:37:06] It feels like it's a bit much. [00:37:08] It feels a little excessive. [00:37:09] And I think story hours is like forced. [00:37:12] Yeah. [00:37:13] So I don't think anyone wants to read to kids. [00:37:15] It's boring. [00:37:15] Yeah. [00:37:16] You know? [00:37:16] Yeah. [00:37:17] But obviously, if you have a kid, it's important to read to them. [00:37:19] But nobody wants, like, nobody is like, oh, it's Wednesday. [00:37:22] Unless you're a lonely old woman. [00:37:24] That's who should do story hour, like lonely old women who are like, I have nothing. [00:37:31] I have nothing at all. [00:37:32] And then they're like, and every Wednesday, this old bitch looks forward to going to read to these kids. [00:37:37] Yeah, but COVID wiped them out. [00:37:38] So you got to go the next rung on the ladder, which is drag queens. [00:37:41] Drag queens. [00:37:42] Those are lonely old women. === Story Hours Feel Forced (15:36) === [00:37:43] And then what are those guys? [00:37:43] There's show up with guns. [00:37:44] It seems like a bit much. [00:37:46] Yeah, it is a bit much. [00:37:47] It seems a bit much. [00:37:47] Yeah. [00:37:48] But then you go like, well, what about the, you know, like, like, is it weird to take a kid to a drag show? [00:37:57] Maybe not. [00:37:57] I don't know. [00:37:58] It depends. [00:37:59] It depends. [00:37:59] Yeah. [00:38:00] It's a hot kid. [00:38:01] You have a kid. [00:38:02] I don't have a kid. [00:38:03] Yeah. [00:38:03] So I feel like kids would see drag queens like clowns. [00:38:07] Yeah. [00:38:08] Right? [00:38:08] Yeah. [00:38:09] Wouldn't they not even understand? [00:38:10] Like, unless it's like very sexualized, the show. [00:38:13] No, but the reaction to it, yeah, is much crazier. [00:38:16] Yeah. [00:38:16] I mean, I don't know. [00:38:17] I think, I don't think drag shows are appropriate for kids. [00:38:19] Like if they're like drag bought, you know? [00:38:22] But if a kid sees a drag queen do it like at a brunch or something, wouldn't they just be like, oh, it's a clown? [00:38:27] Yeah. [00:38:28] Like, because drag queens kind of look like clowns. [00:38:30] Yeah. [00:38:31] You know? [00:38:32] Yeah. [00:38:32] I don't know. [00:38:33] That seems to be what I would think. [00:38:39] But people get very, it's a cultural battleground. [00:38:43] Yeah. [00:38:44] I don't, I don't know. [00:38:45] I'm not as familiar with it. [00:38:46] Why do we still have libraries? [00:38:49] Yeah. [00:38:49] I don't know. [00:38:50] Why is there even a place to do this? [00:38:53] Why do we have, like, it's a good question. [00:38:55] Why are there libraries? [00:38:57] Yeah. [00:38:57] It's just a waste of money. [00:38:59] It's a waste of money. [00:38:59] That money could be going to war. [00:39:01] It's a waste of money. [00:39:02] It should be to go for the Ukraine. [00:39:04] Yeah. [00:39:04] Yeah. [00:39:05] We could. [00:39:05] Yeah. [00:39:05] Nobody goes to libraries. [00:39:07] Ukraine or Israel. [00:39:08] Israel deserves more. [00:39:09] Close the libraries and send the money to Israel. [00:39:12] How much money do they need to beat the Palestinians? [00:39:14] Palestinians have no weapon. [00:39:15] They have like nothing. [00:39:16] Yeah, but they have the rockets. [00:39:18] They have God on their side. [00:39:19] They have the rockets and Allah on their side. [00:39:22] Wow. [00:39:23] Do you think that's the way? [00:39:24] Do you think that's the way Israel presents it to the United States? [00:39:26] They're like, listen, I know they, the United States, like, how much money is going to be? [00:39:30] I know they live in mud. [00:39:31] Yeah. [00:39:31] But they do have the power of. [00:39:33] Yeah. [00:39:33] Yeah. [00:39:34] They have a la, they have God on their side. [00:39:36] And the United States is like, that's a good point. [00:39:39] Here's another 3 billion. [00:39:40] You have to remember, we are evil and no one likes us because we shoot children and journalists in the head. [00:39:46] Dude, Barry Weiss, the best thing ever. [00:39:47] She was on my podcast. [00:39:48] I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, yeah, but you shell schools with the kids in them. [00:39:53] She's like, we also have to shell hospitals. [00:39:55] I'm like, that's your defense. [00:39:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:39:58] I was like, that's the defense. [00:39:59] She's like, yeah, because that's where Hamas like fucking they use shields of children. [00:40:03] I'm like, oh, that's an odd defense. [00:40:05] She's kind of a ding-dong, huh? [00:40:07] Well, she's very into that nation. [00:40:10] Yeah. [00:40:10] She's smart. [00:40:11] Very smart. [00:40:12] Yeah. [00:40:13] But she's. [00:40:13] Well, that's the thing. [00:40:14] People who are into Israel, they really like it. [00:40:15] She's smart and she's clearly smart, but she's really relentlessly pro-Israel. [00:40:20] Like, if Ireland did half the things Israel did, I'd go, oh, fuck that. [00:40:24] Like, I'm not as deep in. [00:40:25] Sure. [00:40:26] But then you can make the argument if they're, if the children are, then they're, the children are not human shields if you're blowing them up. [00:40:32] Right? [00:40:33] Right. [00:40:33] That's a good point. [00:40:34] Yeah. [00:40:36] I heard it on chat. [00:40:37] Yeah. [00:40:37] She's in, she's in, she's into it. [00:40:40] She's into Israel. [00:40:42] That's her beat. [00:40:44] You know? [00:40:45] Yeah. [00:40:46] And she came on and she made some arguments. [00:40:48] I had Abby Morton on too. [00:40:49] I hadn't, and then, and then people yelled at me. [00:40:51] So I had Barry on. [00:40:52] And then people yelled at me. [00:40:53] And then I should have had nobody on. [00:40:55] Right. [00:40:55] Because what did we solve here? [00:40:57] Yeah. [00:40:57] It's the whole thing. [00:40:58] You have these people on. [00:40:59] Yeah. [00:40:59] One side goes nuts. [00:41:00] Yeah. [00:41:01] And you have the other person on the other side goes nuts. [00:41:03] And I'm like, oh, I'm an Irish guy from Long Island. [00:41:05] Why am I inserting myself into this? [00:41:07] But look at the power dynamics. [00:41:08] Centuries-long feud. [00:41:09] Yeah. [00:41:10] No, it's not centuries-long. [00:41:12] It's like decades long. [00:41:13] Well, isn't that they're beefing about biblical shit, kind of? [00:41:18] I don't think so. [00:41:19] Kind of. [00:41:20] I think people want you to believe that the conflict is like complicated. [00:41:24] Yeah. [00:41:24] So that you like stay out of it and you're anti-Semitic if you say anything about it. [00:41:29] You know, I am not that educated about it. [00:41:33] Otherwise, all that I all that I've always thought about it is that it seems weird that you keep building settlements and you keep pushing the borders and that seems very antagonistic. [00:41:48] Yeah. [00:41:49] But I don't, you know. [00:41:51] And they shot that journalist in the head. [00:41:53] Yeah. [00:41:55] I don't know. [00:41:56] You know, but the beef seems to go back. [00:41:58] Did you see that? [00:41:59] Abby Martin put out that documentary and she's interviewing people in Israel and they're like, she's like, well, so how do you think we solve the problem? [00:42:04] And they're like, you know, it's very difficult. [00:42:07] But I saw the documentary. [00:42:10] Like, maybe what you have to do is kill them all. [00:42:12] Yeah. [00:42:12] She came on my show. [00:42:13] We talked about the talk she made. [00:42:15] Yeah. [00:42:15] Gaza fights for free. [00:42:16] She's cool. [00:42:16] What's she like in real life? [00:42:18] Cool. [00:42:18] Yeah, she's cool. [00:42:19] Cool, you know? [00:42:20] Yeah. [00:42:21] I laid back. [00:42:23] But at the end of the day, what are you going to do about it? [00:42:25] What am I doing? [00:42:25] What are you going to do? [00:42:26] What am I going to do about that? [00:42:27] You know what I mean? [00:42:28] Are they buying tickets? [00:42:29] Yeah, right. [00:42:29] Palestinians really buying tickets. [00:42:31] You know what I mean? [00:42:32] Like, let's cut the shit. [00:42:33] It's like, you know, I mean, listen, I don't want anything to happen to them, but I have no control over what Israel does. [00:42:39] No. [00:42:40] So it's like, we could all talk. [00:42:42] And all these podcasts can talk endlessly about everything. [00:42:44] No one cares. [00:42:45] Yeah. [00:42:46] So just make your money. [00:42:47] Watch that eight-year-old again. [00:42:48] Yeah. [00:42:49] No, but that's better entertainment. [00:42:50] You know, it's like, that's the thing TLC realizes. [00:42:52] TLC gets it. [00:42:54] They get it a little bit. [00:42:55] They go, you know what? [00:42:56] Here's the reality. [00:42:57] We're just going to put a girl on who looks eight and see who will fuck her. [00:43:01] That's the reality. [00:43:02] Imagine a TLC show called Understanding the Middle East. [00:43:05] Right. [00:43:06] Right. [00:43:06] That's not doing numbers. [00:43:07] Sometimes you got to just shut your brains. [00:43:09] Now, I wonder what the percentage of people who watch these shows that have like PhDs and stuff, you know, interesting. [00:43:14] They just want to shut their brains off. [00:43:15] They want to shut their brains off and just watch something. [00:43:18] Somebody who's 60. [00:43:19] Watch a couple with Down syndrome who fucks the shit out of each other. [00:43:22] Yeah. [00:43:22] I mean, there's something nice about that. [00:43:24] Somebody goes, Seana Ray, I just love watching this show. [00:43:27] Sean is such a beautiful, sweet young lady and seeing how she handles the struggle she has in life is really inspiring. [00:43:31] I understand her nearly. [00:43:32] This is great. [00:43:33] It's half five-star reviews and half one-star reviews. [00:43:35] Yeah. [00:43:36] Yeah. [00:43:37] Some people love it. [00:43:38] You would go to a restaurant that had reviews like that. [00:43:40] Yeah, some people really like it. [00:43:42] My wife and I have fallen in love with this family. [00:43:45] Okay, the next one. [00:43:47] I was expecting more from TLC. [00:43:49] We all know reality TV is based upon editing and setting up particular scenarios to keep viewers coming back. [00:43:53] But this show literally places this young lady in a situation every episode where her age is put into question. [00:43:58] Being in a bar, amusement park ride, tattoo Paul or sex shop. [00:44:02] It's so cornballed. [00:44:03] You can almost see it coming a mile away. [00:44:04] They put her in a sex shop. [00:44:06] Today we're going to. [00:44:08] We're going to find me a tilde. [00:44:11] I'm getting a tildo today at a sex shop. [00:44:14] I'm really excited. [00:44:17] I'm really excited to go to the pleasure chest to get a tildo. [00:44:22] Try to find that episode of the sex shop on a ring. [00:44:26] I love how we see. [00:44:27] We did a five-minute Israel recap. [00:44:30] Yeah. [00:44:32] You immediately don't want to hear the Israel-Palestine stuff. [00:44:35] But you immediately start circling the drain with that, where you go, yeah, I don't. [00:44:41] It is unfair that the Palestinians live like that. [00:44:43] You know? [00:44:43] Yeah, it is. [00:44:45] Mike and Tim get real about Israel. [00:44:48] It's like, I don't think they should live like that. [00:44:52] And maybe they would be like, well, it's funny because, but the people, people that you meet, like that you meet in the world who are like into Israel are really into it. [00:45:01] They're almost like Disney adults where you go, oh, you okay, you really like this thing. [00:45:05] You know, like, you know how like Sam Morell, he loves the Knicks? [00:45:08] Yes. [00:45:08] You know, you go like, well, I don't want to like take that away from you love this thing so much. [00:45:12] A lot of Jewish people I know don't even care though. [00:45:15] Yeah. [00:45:15] But then some people care the most. [00:45:17] Some people care the most. [00:45:18] Yeah. [00:45:19] Well, that's because that's where they got fingered. [00:45:21] Right. [00:45:21] They went on everything. [00:45:23] That's fingered. [00:45:23] Yeah. [00:45:24] So now this is mind your business. [00:45:25] Now, is she from Long Island? [00:45:27] Yeah. [00:45:27] So that I know that sex shop expressions. [00:45:30] I've passed it a million times. [00:45:32] It's on, I think it's off Sunrise Highway. [00:45:34] Let's watch this scene. [00:45:36] Go back to the beginning. [00:45:36] Let's see this. [00:45:37] Shauna is in a sex show. [00:45:39] She tells the word. [00:45:42] Hey, sweetheart, where's your mom? [00:45:46] Hello, where are you, guys? [00:45:47] Jesus. [00:45:48] You guys looking for anything specific? [00:45:51] What about the kid working there? [00:45:52] He's like 15. [00:45:54] Gotcha. [00:45:55] Gotcha. [00:45:55] It's going to be over in that direction. [00:45:59] Eric got his first job. [00:46:00] Yeah. [00:46:01] He's smitten. [00:46:02] He's getting married, and we recently went bridesmaid dress shopping. [00:46:05] The boobs are too big. [00:46:07] Everything is too big. [00:46:09] It's not just the boobs. [00:46:11] Can I wear my combat boots? [00:46:13] No. [00:46:15] While she's been planning the wedding, we've been planning the bachelorette party. [00:46:20] So this afternoon, we're going shopping for some supplies. [00:46:23] What do you think would make her the most uncomfortable? [00:46:27] I am getting married to my fiancé, Jesse. [00:46:31] We're originally from the marriage. [00:46:32] Jesse Smaller. [00:46:33] So I thought Pittsburgh is the perfect place to celebrate me getting married. [00:46:38] And I still have friends there. [00:46:40] Banana ringtop. [00:46:42] Would you have to hold it? [00:46:45] No, you praise finger legs. [00:46:47] Yeah, and you have to hold it with your legs. [00:46:49] That's weird to grab the banana one. [00:46:52] I'm extremely nervous that Riley and Shauna are gonna surprise me with some raunchy stuff at this bachelorette party. [00:47:00] I do not want it to be gross. [00:47:03] I don't want it to be raunchy. [00:47:05] Why don't we grab a pack of each confetti so that we're gonna watch and make this crazy confetti? [00:47:12] Sure. [00:47:12] That's more annoying. [00:47:13] Hello. [00:47:14] Can I see some ID? [00:47:22] Do I need to take it out for you? [00:47:23] Or do you like? [00:47:24] Do you need to scan it? [00:47:25] No. [00:47:27] I'm 40. [00:47:31] Okay. [00:47:34] Gotcha. [00:47:35] Gotcha. [00:47:36] My first thought was, is that a kid? [00:47:40] I was a little shocked at first, but, you know, I was... [00:47:44] Are those hickeys all over his neck? [00:47:46] Once I found out that she was an adult, both of them were. [00:47:51] Apparently, some other customers in the store had the employee there come up to us and ask for RIDs. [00:47:58] When people want to verify my Qatar should just buy this network most of the time, it's not for the business. [00:48:04] It's not for people. [00:48:05] Okay, things are going to be a little different at the TLC network. [00:48:11] It's just funny. [00:48:11] It's like, you know, all these people on the right wing are like, America's just descending. [00:48:15] It's a moral collapse. [00:48:15] It's degeneracy. [00:48:16] It's everything. [00:48:17] And you're like, oh, there's a little extreme. [00:48:18] And then you're like. [00:48:23] An eight-year-old girl. [00:48:25] It's like, well, yeah, I mean, maybe they have a little bit of a point. [00:48:28] Antifa's not watching this show. [00:48:30] Yeah, who is watching this show? [00:48:42] Fuck out of here. [00:48:45] This is like... [00:48:48] One penis piñata, please. [00:48:50] To me, 23-year-old Shauna. [00:48:53] I'm not going for playing with. [00:48:55] I'm going to make her uncomfortable. [00:48:58] What penis pinata, please? [00:49:00] Okay, then we grabbed it. [00:49:02] But she doesn't even act like a 23-year-old. [00:49:04] No, dude, she's not 23. [00:49:09] No, but it is me. [00:49:11] Tara's definitely the most different between the three of us. [00:49:16] Yeah, she's the most conservative. [00:49:18] Shauna's the one that pushes like the ranchigambalo. [00:49:22] She's probably got a stage bomb, and she's like, Yeah, so this is my uh daughter, and she's uh 23 because she had uh uh brain cancer. [00:49:30] Yeah, that's what we're going with. [00:49:31] Can we give us a reality show? [00:49:33] Hey, we'd like a reality show. [00:49:34] My daughter will date adult men. [00:49:38] Okay, we can't call the show my eight-year-old daughter dates adult men, so we're gonna have to lie. [00:49:45] Listen, we're thinking about uh doing something here where my daughter's uh 23, but she looks eight. [00:49:56] Like, that's the pitch in the TLC room. [00:49:58] They go, Yeah, she's 23, but she looks eight. [00:50:01] And we're gonna do TLC. [00:50:01] All the executives go, oh, and they go, it's hard for her to find love. [00:50:05] And they go, well, of course. [00:50:07] And they go, yes, we're just gonna do a show where she gets kicked out of bars and sex shops. [00:50:13] It'll humiliate her, and then we'll attract maybe probably pedophiles to come have sex with her. [00:50:19] We'll put it on television. [00:50:21] We'll put it on TV. [00:50:25] What's the problemo? [00:50:27] The launchiness. [00:50:29] Yes, in like public or like with our family, like our parents, it's like she has something to prove. [00:50:35] Like, she is an adult and she is able to talk about this stuff. [00:50:39] Anything else? [00:50:41] Are you sure? [00:50:43] Because I could shop all day. [00:50:45] I know. [00:50:46] I'm dropping stuff. [00:50:49] Oh, come on. [00:50:49] You can put that on the camera, Shauna. [00:50:52] No, I really can't find him. [00:50:54] We ended up getting some party games. [00:50:57] We got confetti. [00:50:58] Vibrator. [00:50:59] She's gonna kill us. [00:51:00] She's gonna kill us. [00:51:04] She looks young, too. [00:51:09] I hope Tara's reaction will be good. [00:51:12] It depends on the mood Tara's in, of course, though. [00:51:14] If Tara's not in a good mood when we give her the gifts. [00:51:17] What are you doing? [00:51:18] Please stop. [00:51:18] Please do not make this show anymore. [00:51:20] Your people are bad. [00:51:22] You people are not going to go to heaven. [00:51:24] You understand that, yes? [00:51:27] Bring the Indian doctor up. [00:51:31] Thank you. [00:51:32] These are surprisingly heavy. [00:51:34] Okay, I can take you. [00:51:35] You're 23. [00:51:35] Let me see your pussy. [00:51:39] Hold on. [00:51:40] Let me. [00:51:40] I want to touch your pussy. [00:51:42] I will tell you if she's 23 for it. [00:51:44] I must do an inspection to see if you're 23. [00:51:49] Is your pussy 23 or not? [00:51:55] The doctor's great. [00:51:56] He's so over all the bullshit. [00:51:58] He's so tired of being lied to by 600-pound people. [00:52:02] No, I'm actually down. [00:52:03] You know, I'm actually only 550. [00:52:06] No, you're not. [00:52:08] Stop lying to my face. [00:52:10] Don't fuck with me anymore. [00:52:13] Don't fuck with me anymore. [00:52:16] All you do is eat. [00:52:18] Do you think I'm fucking? [00:52:19] Can he have? [00:52:19] Get this in the dog drop. [00:52:21] Do you think I'm fucking asshole, man? [00:52:23] Do you think I'm fucking stupid, man? [00:52:25] I want you to stop with the bullshit. [00:52:27] I know all you do, eat all day. [00:52:28] You sit, you eat. [00:52:30] This is an eight-year-old pussy. [00:52:35] You're eight-year-old pussy. [00:52:39] This is great. [00:52:40] After a bad way, and Lego said. [00:52:43] This is great. [00:52:44] This is awesome. [00:52:45] How y'all doing? [00:52:47] Ryan. [00:52:48] This guy's riding, huh? [00:52:50] Wait. [00:52:50] So is that why you missed your last appointment? [00:52:54] You just had your bypass about two months ago. [00:52:58] And when you left the hospital, you were down to 546. [00:53:03] So you lost only... [00:53:05] That's your car outside the Oscar Meyer Winnie Mobile. [00:53:07] That's what you drive. [00:53:08] She lost almost 50 pounds at the same time. [00:53:11] And she hasn't even had her bypass yet. [00:53:14] What in the world is going on? === Losing Fifty Pounds Fast (10:31) === [00:53:19] Watching people lie. [00:53:25] Go back. [00:53:26] I want to watch so funny. [00:53:30] I want to hear what she said. [00:53:33] This is amazing. [00:53:34] Hold on. [00:53:35] Nay has lost almost 50 pounds at the same time. [00:53:39] And she hasn't even had her bypass yet. [00:53:42] What in the world is going on with you? [00:53:47] You think it's funny? [00:53:49] You have a gastric bypass. [00:53:51] I had a gastric bypass. [00:53:53] To lose weight. [00:53:54] To lose weight. [00:53:55] And you're not losing weight. [00:53:57] I don't eat a third what I ate. [00:54:01] Okay. [00:54:02] You're asking me questions and I don't understand them more than you understand. [00:54:05] What are you talking about? [00:54:07] You're choosing to overeat and you think it's okay? [00:54:09] No, I don't think it's okay. [00:54:12] I'm sorry, my rad's here. [00:54:14] Now listen, if you die, they're going to do a show with an eight-year-old girl who is feeling 23. [00:54:21] Is that what you want? [00:54:23] Is that what you want? [00:54:25] You want an eight-year-old who's 23 go by? [00:54:29] She go by tildos. [00:54:31] They're going to see what's on the line. [00:54:33] Everyone at TLC, no one go to heaven. [00:54:37] They all go to hell. [00:54:40] This is the most moral show that is on the TLC. [00:54:44] The only show that I can sleep a little bit, knowing that I am a part of it. [00:54:51] If you die, they're going to bring in a girl to get guilt or she's a child. [00:54:56] A child. [00:54:57] They're going to buy. [00:54:58] Yeah, that show is actually the... [00:55:00] It's the only one. [00:55:01] It's the ghost of Christmas Future of TLC. [00:55:04] If they cancel this fucking show. [00:55:05] The evil of TLC is beyond human comprehension. [00:55:09] Yeah. [00:55:11] Yeah, let's watch a little bit more of this. [00:55:13] This guy's amazing. [00:55:15] I guess I'm not eating the right things. [00:55:17] I mean... [00:55:18] We gave you the instruction that you need to follow and you never follow. [00:55:22] You play your cards right until you got this. [00:55:25] It does not feel bad for you. [00:55:29] How in the world is somebody? [00:55:30] I don't know if I'm playing any game. [00:55:32] I throw up constantly. [00:55:34] I eat what I can keep down. [00:55:36] I have a Mexican man in my office. [00:55:37] He says, Somebody steal my hot talk cart. [00:55:40] He said he's looking for it. [00:55:41] That's how he feeds his family. [00:55:43] And I think it, I think you saw it because you come in here with a hot dog cart. [00:55:48] I say, What is that? [00:55:48] And you say, It's my wheelchair. [00:55:50] It's not a wheelchair. [00:55:52] That is that man's livelihood that you have with you. [00:55:59] You don't understand. [00:56:01] Next week, I inspect an eight-year-old girl pussy because you die because you eat too much shit. [00:56:16] Grow up constantly because the surgery forces you to when you overeat now. [00:56:22] I think my problem is I'm holding a lot of fluid. [00:56:25] I can't hardly pee. [00:56:26] Really? [00:56:27] I mean, I don't, I don't know what that man said. [00:56:30] You take all his cotton candy. [00:56:31] That's how he feeds his eight kids. [00:56:33] And you just steal his cotton candy. [00:56:35] You are a fucking evil. [00:56:38] When you feel full up, you have to stop. [00:56:42] When you feel full up in your stomach, you have to stop. [00:56:45] That is the end. [00:56:47] The end. [00:56:48] What's in that big golf? [00:56:49] Is that canola oil in your big golf cup? [00:56:51] You're just drinking canola oil. [00:56:53] And why you lied to me? [00:56:59] What do you mean you don't know? [00:57:03] I don't want you malnourished either. [00:57:05] Do you look like you're malnourished? [00:57:07] When you're overeating, and whatever you're overeating, you tone up. [00:57:12] It means the surgery is working to hold you back when you make bad choices. [00:57:17] And it's the only reason that I don't have to listen to this. [00:57:24] Do you not want me to eat at all? [00:57:26] You know, that's not what I'm saying at all. [00:57:28] You have been given a tool to help you change your life. [00:57:32] Now that you had the surgery, the physical drive to eat is gone. [00:57:36] So you have to deal with what is driving you to eat. [00:57:40] That's the hard part, and you don't want to do it. [00:57:44] And you're running from it and self-destructing. [00:57:47] I'm done with this conversation. [00:57:49] I'm done with this conversation. [00:57:50] No, no, no, we're gonna finish with you. [00:57:53] I might just waddle out of here right now. [00:57:55] If you insult me again, by the way, she's got him against the door. [00:57:59] No, I'm. [00:58:00] Wait, sit down. [00:58:02] Okay. [00:58:03] All right, this is completely unacceptable. [00:58:08] This man should be on every single reality TV show. [00:58:11] Yeah, every single one. [00:58:12] He should be on to catch a predator. [00:58:13] Yeah. [00:58:14] And what happened when you said, I want to suck your 14-year-old cock? [00:58:18] You thought that was okay? [00:58:19] He is the real housewife. [00:58:21] What's his name? [00:58:22] Doctor what? [00:58:23] Dr. Lee. [00:58:28] You, Don. [00:58:28] No, Zaradan. [00:58:33] Oh, it says a doctor for my 600% lives. [00:58:35] We should make an origin story about him. [00:58:38] You should write a movie. [00:58:39] It's his origin story. [00:58:40] I love him like he goes to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. [00:58:45] He's like, you're all rich cunts. [00:58:48] You sit and argue about dinner parties. [00:58:52] People in my country are drinking bad water and then die. [00:58:56] You stupid bitch. [00:58:58] You eat in Malibu, you argue with this other bitch. [00:59:02] He's on kitchen nightmares. [00:59:04] Why you would call this the taco pizza? [00:59:06] It's not taco, it's not pizza. [00:59:09] You keep doing Henry. [00:59:11] It's no good. [00:59:12] Intervention with doctor. [00:59:16] The computer duster is not for your brain. [00:59:19] It's bad for your brain. [00:59:20] You know that. [00:59:22] This is where he loses it with the pleasure. [00:59:28] Amazing. [00:59:30] Amazing. [00:59:32] Where are they now? [00:59:35] I don't have to listen to you. [00:59:36] I don't have to listen. [00:59:41] You piece of shit. [00:59:46] I love podcasting, baby. [00:59:49] This is so great. [00:59:51] I have an elementary school gym teacher. [00:59:53] He says, someone steal my parachute. [00:59:56] Are you wearing the parachute? [00:59:58] That's your clothing. [00:59:59] Like, they have to explain to him that the next show they're doing is about a child bribe. [01:00:04] He's just sitting there. [01:00:05] He goes, I have dealt with fat people. [01:00:07] I've dealt with dance in drum people. [01:00:09] This is now too much. [01:00:11] You said to me, we give you more money, but I want to go to heaven. [01:00:25] Now, don't you give me no chive. [01:00:29] Don't give me no chive. [01:00:33] I don't know what you told your homies, but you're not going to lie to me. [01:00:39] Okay, sister girl. [01:00:52] I don't know what Redman and Method Man say to you about your weight, but you are too fat. [01:00:59] You look like Patrice O'Neill. [01:01:05] She's not even that overweight. [01:01:06] What's she doing? [01:01:07] She's not big at all. [01:01:08] My 600. [01:01:11] I'm doing much better. [01:01:13] Well, I'm glad you're here, Doc, and you're down to 306 pounds. [01:01:17] Yes, sir. [01:01:19] But you are doing well and staying on track. [01:01:22] Okay. [01:01:23] They replace Simon Cowell with him on American Idol. [01:01:25] You dropped to losing only 16 pounds a month, and now you're down to blowing up. [01:01:31] Tim, I got a reality show. [01:01:32] We get this guy to judge like an open mic. [01:01:36] You're not funny at all. [01:01:38] I don't care that you're gay. [01:01:40] Yeah. [01:01:40] It does not matter to me. [01:01:42] All you people get in here. [01:01:43] You move to Brooklyn. [01:01:45] You come on the stage. [01:01:45] You say, I'm gay. [01:01:46] I'm gay. [01:01:47] You're bisexual. [01:01:48] You are bisexual. [01:01:49] You're all bisexual. [01:01:52] I don't care about your degenerate lifestyle. [01:01:56] Do you have any joke? [01:01:57] You have one joke in your degenerate lifestyle. [01:02:01] Oh, Vinny, you are brown. [01:02:02] That is so interesting. [01:02:04] Not good. [01:02:07] There are a billion brown people with more talent in the mouth of a tiger right now. [01:02:16] Microcine, anything to promote. [01:02:19] It's too much fun. [01:02:20] Yeah, I know. [01:02:21] I should move out of here. [01:02:22] We should put this out on YouTube. [01:02:24] This is a great episode. [01:02:24] And we should just put it out on YouTube and see what happens. [01:02:27] I mean, maybe we got just that segment. [01:02:28] People aren't going to. [01:02:29] No, we're going to put the whole hour out. [01:02:30] Okay, great. [01:02:31] The whole thing out on YouTube. [01:02:32] And you know what? [01:02:33] Amazing. [01:02:33] People get angry, and that's fine. [01:02:36] Who would get angry? [01:02:37] I don't. [01:02:37] I'm sorry. [01:02:37] Some fucking fat bitch. [01:02:40] That eight-year-old. [01:02:41] Some 800-pound whore who's going to be dead in a couple days. [01:02:44] Come on. [01:02:44] Who cares? [01:02:45] Microcene. [01:02:46] Comedy, baby. [01:02:47] I got a podcast called Alphor Smokes. [01:02:49] It's a lot of fun. [01:02:49] I do it with Sean McCarthy and Scott Chaplin. [01:02:52] I got some road dates, Baltimore, Boston, Denver, Cleveland. [01:02:55] And I'm taping a special in New York City at the end of February. [01:02:57] Fuck yeah. [01:02:58] February 26th at the stand. [01:03:00] I would love to get some people out at the show for that. [01:03:03] 100%. [01:03:05] Yeah. [01:03:07] I'm bringing the gun. [01:03:08] Follow me on Instagram if you can at Microcene Comedy. [01:03:11] All my dates are in my bio and everything. [01:03:12] You have Twitter. [01:03:13] Yeah, at Microscene on Twitter. [01:03:15] But yeah, Instagram is where later this week, I'm bringing a gun to the Beverly Wilshire Hotel to try to get something going over there. [01:03:22] No, TimDillacomedy.com for all the live shows. [01:03:27] I'm not going to go through them all. [01:03:28] We get it. [01:03:29] Go to TimDillacomedy.com and go to a bunch of play. [01:03:31] We just put Palm Beach up, and it's always fun over there. [01:03:34] A lot of reasonable people. [01:03:39] This is reasonable. [01:03:40] Reasonable people. [01:03:41] Mike Christine, one of my oldest friends at Comedy, thank you for coming on. [01:03:44] Thank you. [01:03:45] Beautiful wife and kid. [01:03:46] Thanks, buddy. [01:03:47] And thank this guy. [01:03:48] Thank you. [01:03:49] Thank you, my friend. [01:03:49] Thank you. [01:03:50] Goodbye.