Tim explains a recent tipping experience with a local Starbucks worker, Tim also rants on Putin’s new war winning strategy to send drug addicts to fight in the the Ukraine war, he also talks about how Alec Baldwin serves breakfast to his family of 7 kids and how robots could take over the podcasting business in the future. Bonus episodes every week: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshowSee Tim Live on the road: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#showsMerch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBackBonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshowNetflix special: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382SPONSORS:HelloFresh:Go to HelloFresh.com/timd21 and use code timd21 for FREE meals plus shipping!Helix:Helix is offering up to 200$ off all mattress orders AND two free pillows to our listeners! Go to helixsleep.com/timdBabbelRight now, get up to 55% off when you go to babbel.com/timBabbel... Language for life.Shipstation:Get a 60-day trial at https://www.shipstation.com/timdillon. Thanks to shipstation for sponsoring the show!▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃:Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillonTim Dillon Live Dates!:http://timdilloncomedy.com/#showsSubscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo...Listen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo...#TheTimDillonShow
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Tipping a Stranger for Good00:06:17
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
We are here.
Very exciting.
I just tipped a woman $41 in Starbucks.
Remember that Bruce Brinkstein song 41 Shots that he did when Amadou Diallo was shot by the police?
41 shots.
All of Bruce's fans, I was at his concert once, I don't know, 99, 2000, something.
And all of the Long Island fans and pretty much everyone, they all went for like a cigarette during that song because that was the big like, hey, the cop should stop shooting black people song.
And as soon as he was like, 41 shot, everybody was like, everybody's like, let's go get a beer.
And then they came back when it was, you know, born in the USA or something they didn't understand.
But I tried, and the reason was I gave her a $50 bill.
I'm not saying I'm a good person.
I don't do this a lot, but I do tip people well.
But, and I don't do crazy stuff.
Like, I'm not, you know, I'm not the, you know, David Dobrik used to go and give people Lamborghinis and stuff.
And, you know, somebody was in, it was mired in debt.
And he was like, here's a car you don't know how to drive.
And it's worth more than, you know, it's like the craziest thing.
But YouTubers do it all the time.
They're like, hey, today, I'm going to give my parents money.
You know, they would go like, here, mom and dad, I paid off your house.
And the mom would cry.
I've never done that.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not.
What am I going to do?
Buy the mental institution that my mother lives in?
I'm going to go back to the lunatic asylum that she's in and go, surprise, mom, guess what I did?
I bought the mental institution that you live in.
What?
You know this place?
I bought it.
I got in bed with a shady healthcare company.
We're taking money from the government.
We're doing some Medicare fraud.
But the good news is you get a slightly bigger room.
I mean, no.
So there's no, what am I going to do?
She's in.
She's in the clink.
I didn't, you know, I didn't design her brain, but it's malfunctioned.
And so I never, and my father is doing fine.
I love him.
We speak.
He's doing great.
He doesn't need anything.
These people on Long Island don't need anything.
Him and his wife have a lovely life.
They drink wine.
They have dogs.
They walk.
They boat.
It's good.
It's good.
If I showed up and paid off their mortgage, they'd be angry with me.
They'd think it was some kind of scam.
They'd be like, who do you think you are?
How did you get our information?
Like, no, but you can't do anything good for anyone where I'm from in Long Island.
It doesn't work.
It only puts you at odds with them long term.
So this woman, who is a portly, a larger woman, which now that I'm working with a trainer, I've worked with a trainer for two days and I'm on the MyFitness, you know, the fitness pal.
It's not always a pal because it'll tell you some hard truths.
But you put, you put the thing, you know, if you eat, uh, if you breathe, you have to put it in two breaths and it calculates, you know, shitting.
You, you know, you go, shit, shit, you know, whatever it is.
You don't do that.
But you put it if you eat like a churro, you have to put it, you know, churro, and you have to, and then it tells you, but it tabulates, and then you have less and less at the end of the day.
And then the goal is to be all zeros, like your calorie allotment, your macros, your fat, your carbs, your protein is all whatever in line.
And I, so what I realize now is weight is an issue of class, Kind of, meaning that there are people that are overweight because they just don't have access to the same type of food that other people do.
Now, this is obviously a little abused, right?
As a people, this is a little bit of a crutch.
Everybody can find a carrot, but not everybody's going to eat a carrot and you can't live on carrots.
So my point is when I see somebody working their ass off and she's a big woman, I'm, you know, I feel like let me give her money so that she can do something good for herself or for her family or whatever.
And I'm not, again, I'm not, this isn't, I'm trying to be a good person here.
I'm just saying, and the reason it happened was because she didn't have change for the 50.
And she goes, do you want to use a, do you want to use a credit card or Apple Pay?
A friend of mine who was in the store with me were in the coffee bean.
And I said, well, no.
I said, why don't you just keep it?
And this woman was so horrified by that, by the idea of that.
She thought it was like some type of, she goes, no, no, I cannot.
I said, I want you to keep the money.
She goes, no, it's $8, you know, it's too much.
I said, no, you do something nice.
You do something nice for yourself with it.
And then she somehow makes change and then puts the change in the tip cup.
He goes, take your money.
And I'm like, no.
And I'm wondering, is she like an addict?
Can she not have cash?
Is there like a reason she doesn't have cash?
Is she going to take $40 right now and go buy something she shouldn't have?
A rock?
I don't know what she's going to do, right?
Like she was so terrified by that.
And in Los Angeles, displays of kindness are so incredibly rare that I understand.
So I told her, I was like, I was a tour guide on a double-decker bus and I used to rely on tips.
And a lot of people didn't tip.
And there was a black guy in the thing and he was like, you a tour guide?
You a tour manager?
And I was like, no, I was a guide.
I would show people the buildings.
He's like, damn.
And I was like, he was so, he's a cool guy.
And then he's like, what do you do now?
I'm like, oh, I'm a comedian.
He's like, you a comedian?
And then we looked up.
So then you feel like a piece of shit.
Then we looked up the Netflix special and she's like, I'm going to watch it.
The good deed's over.
It's been completely washed away.
Now by like, there's people in there going, what is wrong with this man?
So people that are going to see me go, this guy is harassing people to watch his fucking Netflix special at the coffee bean.
All I tried to do is quietly give this woman $40 for her to go buy drugs.
Footage from the Front Lines00:04:47
And she didn't do it.
But that's what I mean about the pitfalls of being nice.
I'm doing a lot of, I've done a lot of shows in LA and they've been a lot of fun.
And we've been talking about the Ukraine a lot on the podcast and on the show.
And a lot of people have told me, they said, well, you seem pretty, you seem pretty like anti-Ukraine.
And I'm not anti-Ukraine.
I'm anti-taking the American war machine's word for it about any conflict anywhere in the world.
And if you were not an idiot, you would be too.
I feel horrible for the people of Ukraine.
We had a kid on, a comedian on when this first thing, when this started, you know, seven, eight months ago, 10 months ago.
And we had him on and, you know, it was incredibly sad what they're going through.
I don't think anybody is happy about that.
I've been somebody that wants that to end.
I don't want nuclear holocaust.
I don't want a war that destroys all of Ukraine.
I don't want any of that.
I don't know what's going to happen.
I hope that, you know, I've always hoped that Russia would say, okay, we're done.
But it doesn't seem like that's realistic with Russia's current leadership.
In fact, they keep mobilizing people.
They're calling up more troops.
The attacks are getting worse and worse and worse.
So, and when the American war machine goes, we'll support Ukraine no matter what, no matter how long, wink, it means they want a 30-year cold war that will just destroy Russia and bleed Russia out and make people hear a lot of money.
Instead of forcing some type of agreement or even trying for some type of agreement.
So, again, it's not, and again, I'm not, you don't absolve Russia.
They invaded the Ukraine.
They invaded a sovereign country.
Wars are never good.
Wars are never about, you know, one thing.
Usually, they're more complex.
And what bothers me is the narrative that everybody is fed all the time in this country is like good, evil, right, wrong.
There's, and here's the line.
And if you even go, well, why is that that you're like, yeah, with that, it's not, it's not realistic that people are not going to have questions.
You're not going to go, wait, wait, wait, what the fuck's going on?
Explain to me what's going on.
I just want to know what's going on.
So I'm going to play a battle right now.
And this is something I'm really serious on the show, but I'm going to be serious right now because this is disturbing to me.
There's carnage going on in the Ukraine right now.
There's carnage.
And it's something, and I'm actually texting an attorney.
I don't even know if we can play this.
This is footage that I got from a person on the front lines.
That's footage that I got from a person on the front lines.
And it's one of those things where I'm worried as a broadcaster because if I play this footage and it alters the course of the war or something happens, but this is literally, this has not been seen on the media.
This is footage from the front lines sent to me from what's going on in Russia in the Ukraine right now.
I'm dead serious.
I just got the okay from my attorney.
I'm telling you right now, if you have children in the room, this is not for them.
But as adults, we all have to understand the stakes and what's going on.
Play it.
You're walling, guys.
Oh, shit.
You are walling.
Oh, shit.
You're walling.
You won't.
You walling!
You're walling!
I don't know.
It's hard to watch that.
And I don't know which side, admittedly, because they all look so similar, I don't know which side is Wylin.
But Russia or the Ukraine, someone was Wylin.
And then someone came in and then fixed that.
But what I'm saying here is that the war is a problem, okay?
And we need to figure out a solution.
If we're going to keep seeing scenes like that, I mean, it's crazy.
Sending Drug Addicts to War00:09:42
And where we are, the United States is sending in the equipment.
They're sending in the waffle irons.
They're sending in the coffee burner.
They're sending in the griddles to make the hash browns smothered and covered.
They're sending in the machinery of death so that this war can go on.
That wasn't that wasn't the Ukraine.
It was a waffle house.
See, that's they don't have waffle houses in the Ukraine.
Otherwise things would be peaceful.
Good play.no.
Veggen.
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God for free meals plus, but Putin has a new plan.
He's calling up these drug addicts.
And this is, by the way, I am a big fan of this as an idea because I've been a drug addict.
Many would say I still am.
My addictions and compulsions come out with food and cigarettes and all kinds of things.
And I try to keep them, I try to keep them down and choose the light.
But drug addicts can be very useful.
They don't have anything to live for.
This is what's good about a drug addict in a war.
They have nothing to deliver.
If you are in the depths of drug addiction, and by the way, if you're in the depths of drug addiction, don't use this as some excuse to do something heinous.
You know what I'm saying?
Clean yourselves up.
But I'm saying, if you're really in the depths of a drug addiction, you really don't have anything to live for.
You don't care about anything else except the drug.
So those people are bodies that can be thrown into conflict.
Let's do a close-up.
Russia sends drug addicts to war to mobilization numbers here.
Now, close up on these guys.
These are the guys that I think may turn the tide.
Go all the way to the right.
Look at this guy.
He's looking the little guy is great.
Rogan is fighting with him.
But no, to the right, go all the way to this guy.
He's he, that guy is drunk right now.
He's hammered right now.
And I like the look of this.
This is a motley crew.
You know, it reminds me of the sand lot.
Remember the movie The Sand Lot where you'd have a bunch of, you know, it's like neighborhood kids and there are like a scraggly rat pack of you got the fat kid and the ginger and the skinny kid and the wimp and then everybody's going to come together at the end and and kill people in the Ukraine.
That I think is this because it's a motley crew of junkies and drug addicts and people that are in Russian prisons for stealing and stuff.
And what Putin has said is you have a chance to regain your glory by going to the Ukraine and fighting.
And I think it's a fight, like it's a we know everything, you know, this is we don't want a war.
We don't want a war to happen.
But if it gives Russian convicts and drug addicts a purpose, it's not, it's not all for naught.
Like we want, you know?
And if you look at these men, they just seem ready.
They seem ready to go.
They seem ready to go.
They seem excited.
And they're ready to go.
Let's read a little bit of this article to see.
So Ukrainian intelligence believes that Russian President Putin is preparing to announce another wave of mobilization.
And here's the thing: all of these things are war propaganda from both sides.
We don't know what's true, but that's the fun.
Russia is sending drug addicts to war in an effort to meet its mobilization quota.
The information about the massive mobilization of drug addicts was amazing.
Like, who are these drug addicts?
Like, they're just the information about the massive wave of drug addicts was confirmed by one of the Russian soldiers who surrendered to the resistance movement.
According to him, he was not cured of addiction and continues to use drugs while fighting.
And I'm not even going to try to pronounce it, Zaphorizia.
The man took the drugs with him as medicine.
Well, why would you stop drugs in the Ukrainian war?
Could there be less of a reason to get sober than fighting a war in the Ukraine?
And so I don't know where they're finding these drug addicts.
Where are they getting them?
Are they just getting them off the street?
Are they going into the schools?
Convicts offered erasure of criminal records if they serve.
Here we go.
To leverage people in enlisting, the Kremlin has weaved leniency into long-standing legislation, meaning like they're getting a little desperate now.
They're like, let's get the criminals.
Let's get the junkies and bring them over.
Yeah.
I think that's a good idea.
I think it's a good idea.
You have a bunch of is that the Azoff Battalion's fucking uniforms?
They look sick as fuck.
Dude, how sick?
That's what they're fighting in in beanies?
Like that?
Is this war even happening?
Is this a wag the dog?
No, I think it is happening, but I will say that, you know, I feel like we're in the end of it now.
I feel like we're, it's kind of like Avatar in the third hour.
I was like, wrap it up.
Like, I feel like we're getting to that point with it now where it's like, you know, where people are kind of like, hey, too much cinnamon.
Go get that money back.
Elizabeth Holmes, by the way, did you hear this?
You expect, now, Elizabeth Holmes was this bitch who was selling these fake blood e-meters to diabetics because she had all these people invested in this Theranos company.
You know, Bad Blood is the book and the movie and all that stuff.
And basically, she got sentenced and she then tried to flee to Mexico.
She tried to flee after conviction.
I mean, I mean, it's the woman.
See, she, first of all, she only got 11 years.
It's not a lot.
I've talked about this before.
This is not enough to dissuade anybody from doing this.
She was giving people fake blood tests.
Didn't work.
Giving people a test where they go, I think I'm okay.
I mean, that's the human cost of this.
They give her 11 years in jail, and the bitch wants to go to Mexico.
She tries to flee, and I guess they catch her.
I mean, it's like, listen to this.
The government, here we go.
Prosecutors said in a filing that Holmes' legal defense had argued that she had a flawless pretrial record, but does not mention her, quote, attempt to flee.
They said the government learned on January 23rd, 2022, that Holmes booked a one-way flight to Mexico scheduled for January 26th, but a return flight was not scheduled.
Well, I do that a lot.
You book one, you don't know when you're coming back.
The government then mentioned the trip to Holmes as defense attorney, and the flight was canceled after that.
She was probably just trying to go see Mexico.
She's probably just trying to go get her margaritas on and see the beautiful ancient Mayan ruins.
And yet, she's accused of fleeing.
She's surrendering herself to custody on April 27th, we hope, or she'll flee again, Elizabeth Holmes.
We've got our eyes on you.
I read that book with, you know, with the look at her.
She's just one of those people.
She thought it would work.
You know, some of these people, they really think the thing, you know, because everybody's told this horse shit when they grow up that, like, you can believe.
You're like, just believe, believe.
And then that, you know, can lead to good things where people are like, I lost 10 pounds, you know, and then whatever, you know, but then believe could be you just start selling fake blood tests to diabetics.
That's also, and you go, just believe it'll work, believe.
And she, you know, she constantly looks like she's in some kind of catatonic state, like she's not fully with us on planet Earth.
Believing in Your Higher Self00:02:14
Like she's just kind of glazed over, Elizabeth Holmes.
She's, yeah, there's a glaze to her.
Look at that.
There's a glaze to her.
She's not fully here.
She's not fully here.
She's, there's something, she's somewhere else listening to the song.
You know, we were at the improv the other night, and a woman came busting into the green room and started telling Trevor Wallace about his higher self.
And she's like, she goes, your higher self is the girl in your joint.
She goes, your higher self came to me during the thing.
She goes, I'm a whatever and I'm a spiritual, whatever they call themselves.
And she goes, I'm sitting here and your higher self came to me and said that your soulmate was the girl from the joke where you have some joke about a girl making fun of you for eating carrot cake.
And she goes, your higher self came to me and said that that is your soulmate.
And then Trevor Wallace was like, okay.
And Trevor Wallace actually is dating that girl now.
So it was kind of weird, you know?
And then I was like, did my higher self say anything about the Ukraine to you?
So I talked a little bit about that.
Did my higher self get involved?
One of the most exciting things.
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Babble.
Language for life.
Cops and Patriarchy on Scene00:08:44
I like Greta Thunberg now.
And I'll tell you, it's been a while since I've checked in on her.
What I like about her is in the beginning, like Greta Thunberg was just kind of like, you know, kind of like annoying, environmental, like, I don't want to go to school and you better start using brown toilet paper and planes are gross, you know?
But now she's evolved into this Joker type character who I think wants to just blow things up like a real eco-terrorist.
And I think she just wants to like burn things down and strike fear into the hearts of men, which I kind of like, even though this is all set up.
The Germans, here's the thing with the Germans.
When you make soap out of a race of people, you really have to do a lot on the back nine to make up for that.
So what they do all the time is they really just let left-wing lunatics do a lot of crazy shit because most people in Germany, a lot of people in Germany are Nazis, and it wouldn't take much for them to be Nazis again.
Like if they knew there was a pathway for them to go right back to being Nazis, they would be Nazis because that was the period of German greatness.
Truly.
And I don't mean it was good.
It was bad.
But to German nationalists, that was their era, right?
So what the German government tries to do is they try to like, they go the other way where they let they're like, let all the migrants in, and some of them, some of them are going to goose you on New Year's.
Enough, you know, don't complain.
That Turkish guy grabbed your tit.
We made soap out of people.
You got to let this stuff happen.
The Turkish guy got a little handsy in the march.
Sorry, we made soap out of people.
We got to let this shit happen.
So that's really what it is.
Truly, that's what the Germans, they go on the, they're a little bit, and they have some weird SM stuff.
You know, they tie businessmen and stuff to tables and they shit on glass and they jerk off under it.
They're in the blood and piss play and stuff.
And it's all very deep, repressed kind of, but some kind of cool in a way.
And they have these raves in underground tunnels in Berlin.
So Greta Thunberg is being detained at this protest.
And the German police, they've kind of set this up because the police are told, obviously, we can't hurt Greta Thunberg.
She seems kind of German, right?
The name Thunberg, it seems a little germ.
Like they're like, listen, we have to deal with her, but we're going to arrest her.
And they're saying, of course, that it is not like a, that it wasn't stagecraft, like it was real.
But, you know, it's fake because they've caught video.
There's video of the cops and Greta kind of having, but by the way, I've been arrested and I've had cops be kind of friendly to me and I've said a funny thing and they've laughed at it.
And that wasn't a fake arrest.
But there's video supposedly of Greta being arrested and she's, she's, is kind of like a cute arrest.
Like, this is cute.
She's smiling.
It's kind of like the media's there.
Everybody knows.
Everybody knows what she's doing.
What they should have done is like, if they wanted to, look, she's standing there.
She knows how this is all going to go.
This is all, you know, like programmed ahead of time.
And what they should have done is they should have choreographed it where she's thrown to the ground and they put their boots on her and they rip her hands behind her back and carry her out.
Like, you ever see the scene in Casino where Pesci's like, open the door with his head.
Like that, that should have been the way they took her out, just like a battering ram.
And they shouldn't have hurt her, but it would have made it more realistic, you know, because they're in those stormtrooper outfits, but yet they're carrying her out like a little baby.
So what you're seeing is like, nobody's satisfied by this.
You know, I would, if I was directing this, which someone is, I'd be like, more struggle.
Greta, honey, struggle.
Get her on the ground.
We're going to get her on the ground.
Then you guys put the boots on her.
We want to see you struggle on the ground.
We're going to snap the arms back behind you.
We're going to pick you up.
You're going to be screaming.
Okay.
Maybe a muzzle.
Should she bite?
Should she spit?
Okay, take two, Greta.
It's not going to be biting, honey, but it's going to be spit.
You're going to spit at them.
Yes, yes, that's a good idea.
So when you spit at him, you're spitting at him.
He's going to maybe smack you light like a mime smack kind of.
And then once you've spit, then it gives them the direction where now they're going to have to muzzle you.
You understand?
Because in this scene, honey, honey, are you with us today?
Okay, we just got to focus.
We're losing light.
We're shooting and we're losing light.
So here's what in this scene, you're very, very angry.
What are they even protesting?
What are they protesting here?
The Greta Thunberg.
Oh, a coal mine.
So, honey, in this scene, you're a girl from the, you know, whatever.
What is she?
Dutch?
Denmark?
Sweden?
Greta, you're a Swedish girl and you're famous and you hate the coal mine because this coal mine makes the air black.
And when you breathe in, you don't get the sweet air.
You get just the tar of the coal and you don't like that and you're very angry.
And you see these cops and the cops come in and they represent everything that is wrong.
Patriarchy, militarism, capitalism.
And they come in with their big batons, these phallic symbols.
But you, you see you, Greta.
You stand there and you kind of stand your ground.
And they're going to take you into custody, the young girl protecting us all, saving us from ourselves.
Now, when they take you into custody, you have to struggle.
You have to fight a little bit because they're going to eventually muzzle you.
You spit at one of them and then they come in and they muzzle you.
And then we can see how short it is.
But I think what happened was then they got notes.
This is what happens sometimes when you're in a production.
And somebody goes, here's the reality.
The studio feels that this needs to be, it needs to feel more symbolic.
We don't want to see Greta roughed up.
We don't want to see her spitting and we don't want to see her put in a muzzle.
We've really decided that the move here is just to carry her out kind of respectfully.
We don't want to walk her out because that seems too easy.
So we do want the shot of them carrying her, but we're going to nix the spitting and the muzzle.
Okay?
Okay, Greta, change the plans, honey.
You can go to craft services, get her a juice.
No spitting, no muzzle, no struggle on the ground.
They are going to lift you up and they are going to take you out.
As they're taking you out, you do a light smile because you're smiling because all of your ideas about the world have been made real by these scary men that are taking you.
You understand that?
And this is how in five years we can take everybody's car.
Yes, that's the goal.
This is how in five years we take everyone's car.
So we just want to get this perfect.
Ready?
And action.
And that's what they do.
It's a production.
But, you know, I would have said, make it a little more rough.
But apparently somebody came in and said, you know, because Germany's trying to, they're trying to emerge as the moral leader of Europe, which is tough to do when you have the past that they do.
So what you're seeing happen is they're trying to be very delicate and handle these situations very artfully.
And I think they did a decent enough job with this one.
I like Greta.
I like her because you know, everyone's got a part to play in this world.
Everybody does, and she's doing it well.
It's not Academy Award yet.
Yet, nobody starts out Robert Pattinson.
They start out as one of these idiots on the Cobra Kai, and then if they're good, they get to that.
The Tragedy of Involuntary Manslaughter00:09:28
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Tim Dylan.
Friend, and this is you know a sad story.
We don't love this.
Alec Baldwin, who's a friend of the show and was very kind to us.
He had me on his podcast, and he's a you know, he's a real star, you know.
And he's again, he's done.
There's some things he's done that, you know, obviously you wouldn't co-sign the shooting of the lady.
Um, but we don't do he do it on purpose.
It seems weird that he would do it on purpose, right?
So they're trying him for involuntary manslaughter.
I love this.
Alec Baldwin, charged PR experts as star on Hollywood Blacklist.
It's like, what about the involuntary manslaughter charge?
Isn't that more important?
So he won't do the Trump impression this year.
It's like on SNL.
It's like, what about the involuntary manslaughter?
But it's weird because this is how I understand it.
Alec Baldwin gets to the set.
I don't know why there's a real bullet in this gun.
It seems weird.
Alec Baldwin, the person who put the bullet in the gun, is also being charged, and I believe with involuntary manslaughter.
This costume design or this props matter.
You know, I was just on a thing where we had props.
I was on this film, and maybe my scenes in it, we'll see.
And you would go and we'd get props, and then the props would, you know, you would go and they would put the props.
I can't talk about it, so I can't tell you what the props were, but you get the props at the beginning of the day.
You would deprop at the end of the day.
You would give them their props, and nobody shot anybody in the face.
Now, so this, so the okay, so Alec Baldwin and the armorer, they call her the armorer.
Well, that's a creepy, but the armorer will be charged with the same thing, which is the involuntary manslaughter after fatal shooting of Halnia Hutchins on the set of Rust the movie here.
And okay, so that woman's name is Hannah Gutierrez-Reed.
She's the film's armorer, and each will be charged with two counts of involuntary manslaughter.
Play that up there.
I wonder what that is.
He's reacting to this.
He's unhappy.
I don't know if this is him reacting, but this is the chaotic moments after the shooting of Russ.
So after Alec Baldwin has shot this woman, this is a oh, oh, this is an ad.
Okay, it's an ad.
Motherfucker, the ad fooled me.
I thought we were getting rick-rolled, yeah.
But here, so we have, we have, this is footage right after, now, does Alec in this seem, he seems distressed.
He's a, he's not, he's unhappy with this, I would hope.
Like, this thing is, like, he's not happy.
So this is right after we have volume on this?
Those two people.
Okay, well, it does seem...
He does seem remarkably composed after it.
It doesn't seem like the greatest, doesn't seem like the greatest, you know, I was there in rehearsal.
I was asking myself.
But I met him, and I do not believe he did this on purpose.
So I don't know.
From what I believe, but I also don't believe, to be fair is fair.
I want to be fair here.
Maybe he'll call me and scream at me after this.
But like, I feel like he's a person that maybe he doesn't have as much empathy as he should.
He may lack a little bit of empathy.
And I think part of that is because being in the system for as long as he's been in it, he may not have the empathy or he may just not show the empathy.
Like I don't, when I met him, I felt like number one, he didn't do it on purpose because why would he do it?
But number two, was he keeping him up at night?
I don't know if it was keeping him up at night.
I think he slept soundly.
I think he was sleeping soundly.
And again, not that I'm saying that somebody should go to jail for sleeping soundly, but it's come off a little bit.
Like, I don't know that there's been the requisite amount of mea culpa after shooting someone in the eye.
And yeah, it's his composure.
That's the thing.
It's, there's no like, oh my God, is she okay?
How did this happen?
I can't believe it.
I shot someone and she fell to the ground.
It's more like earlier in rehearsal, I was saying to myself, how could I ever, how could you ever, would anyone believe I would just shoot this woman and she'd fall to the ground?
But these are actors.
And when you were a real actor, and I've done this over and over again, I'm not going to explain it again, but I will for one minute repeat myself and go, these people, they're always kind of acting if they're good and he's good.
And I just think that he's playing that role and the role is kind of of Alec Baldwin.
He's playing that role.
So when he comes across like that, I don't know that, you know, most people, if somebody told me, hey, at the film that I was just on, if somebody told me you just shot someone in the face by mistake, I would hope, by the way, I would hope I'd be inconsolable, like a mother of however many kids.
Like if I killed a person, like you would think I'd be inconsolable.
I'd be throwing myself on the floor and crying, no, my kids, no.
And how did it happen?
Maybe I wouldn't, but this is what I'd hope.
But the composure that he has is, I think, what disturbs people.
Has he reacted to this?
Has Alec Baldwin, because supposedly he's raging behind the scenes.
This is what people are saying.
Obviously, we don't know if it's true, but he's very angry because I think he was going to have a little comeback.
I would have loved to do something with him.
You know, he called me and, you know, he said like that, maybe there's a sitcom for us.
He really even said that, which I would have loved to do.
Listen, because everybody's on a button, you know, he shot a woman.
I sat next to Alex Jones.
You know, hey, let's all, you know, we move on.
We do a fun sitcom and everybody gets over it.
So he hasn't, but his wife has.
Oh, Hilaria has.
And she's doing the Spanish accent, but I think she should be allowed to.
First of all, she's under duress.
I've always supported her, you know, need to be any race she wants.
What is she saying now?
By the way, we support.
Okay?
I want you guys to realize that we have seven kids.
And you being here to escort them to school and to be there when they come home is not good.
So on a human level, they have seven children.
It's not good.
They have seven kids.
He never stopped having kids.
It's like, imagine having to explain this to seven children.
One child, it would be hard.
Seven times, daddy shot someone at work.
Seven times daddy shot someone at work.
Waffle, daddy shot someone at work.
One of them's a vegan, probably.
Sprouts, daddy shot someone at work.
But just the idea of that, such a large fan.
I mean, God bless, God bless.
Listen, we support the Baldwins because he might get out of this somehow and have it.
I would love to be a part of like his return.
It's a sitcom.
Picture it.
Spacey Baldwin Dylan.
No?
Yes.
Free pillows.
For our listeners, go to helixleep.com/slash Tim D with Helix.
Better sleep starts now.
Here's the thing.
I agree with her.
I agree with Iladia that they should let it play out.
You know, at the end of the day, this is a tragic thing.
A woman has lost her life.
There's going to be a court case about this.
It's going to be handled.
And, you know, we can't, we, you know, we stand back here.
But I mean, you know, I don't, I don't think Alec Baldwin did it on purpose.
Do I think that he is, you know, maybe his, his, the way he's talked about has been a little callous.
And, you know, people have been maybe disappointed by that.
How Close Is This AI Chatbot00:15:48
But here's the thing I'll say about Alec: everyone grieves in different ways.
Everyone grieves in different ways.
And maybe his way to grieve this woman's death is to be stoic.
Maybe he's being strong.
Alec might be, he might be being strong.
And some people go, oh, he doesn't care.
He shot that woman.
He doesn't care.
He only is only thinking about his career.
Perhaps.
But also, maybe he's just being strong.
And don't we need strength?
Don't we need it?
This chat bot, this Google chat bot, everybody is up in arms over this.
Google is now calling in help from Larry Page and Sergey Brin because this chat bot is getting everybody up in arms.
Last month, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Google's founders.
And by the way, we got to cover these things because these stories are eventually going to become your life.
Whether it affects you now or not, it's going to affect you eventually.
So Google's founders held several meetings with company executives.
The topic arrivals new chat bot, a clever AI product that looked as if it could be the first notable threat in decades to Google's $149 billion search business.
Mr. Page and Mr. Brin, who had not spent much time at Google since they left their daily roles with the company, reviewed Google's AI product strategy, according to a couple of people with knowledge of the meetings who are not allowed to discuss them.
They approved plans and pitched ideas to put more chatbot features into Google's search engine.
And they offered advice to company leaders who have put AI front and center in their plans.
The re-engagement of Google's founders emphasized the urgency felt among many Google executives about artificial intelligence and the chat bot.
The bot, which was released by the small San Francisco company OpenAI two months ago, amazed users by simply explaining complex concepts and generating the Ukraine war and generating ideas from scratch.
More important to Google, it looked as if it could offer a new way to search for information on the internet.
So this chat bot, which apparently will AI is going to, they estimate that some troubling amount of online content, 80 or 90%, something crazy, will eventually just be generated by AI.
Even shows like this will be replaced by some type of chat bot, some type of angry Irish AI, because AI can harness meaningless rage and weave it into some comedic form, I imagine.
So all of these things are coming.
And what's interesting is when we talk about things like this, we're documenting the destruction of the human race.
And what has happened is Google has like, wait a minute, we're destroying the human race and the need for people to think on their own.
And then this small company out of San Francisco, OpenAI, goes, actually, we are also destroying the human race at a pace that may be quicker than you.
So then what happens, and this is how everything gets done in the world, Google flips the fuck out.
They go code red.
They are destroying the human race at a faster pace than we are.
Fuck, we got to get back in the lab.
And that's essentially what Google's doing.
But make no mistake, what AI is.
Artificial intelligence is going to replace human intelligence.
This is what people want.
This is what will make things more efficient.
Art is going to come from AI.
NFTs are already coming from AI.
All of this stuff, right?
Basically, AI is replacing human function at a kind of an alarming rate.
And it's even scarier when you think about where this eventually goes, you know, and what happens to people.
Yeah, the new AI technology has shaken Google out of its routine.
They declared a code red.
And they're now jumpstarting AI development.
Google now intends to unveil more than 20 new products and demonstrate a version of its search engine with chatbot features this year.
So Google's like, fuck it.
We're in.
Our chatbot's going to be better.
Our chatbot will tell you if your kids are trans and it'll tell your kids if they're trans.
Our chatbot will get rid of you quicker than their chatbot will eliminate you.
So this is the real debate here.
It's interesting.
Mr. Brin and Mr. Page have taken a laissez-faire approach to Google, but this has scared them when someone else gets ahead.
This is how all the things in Silicon Valley happen.
One person goes, I can do it.
And then another person goes, well, actually, I've already kind of done it.
And then another person goes, fuck.
And then the fight to make it happen makes it happen much quicker.
So we can start eliminating human beings maybe in a couple of years as opposed to 10 or 15.
Like we can really, we can really get in there.
What is the chat?
Let's look at again what a chat bot is.
I mean, AI, we all kind of know what it is.
It's artificial intelligence.
It's technology that can think and generate ideas.
I mean, somebody explained it to me once.
They're like, what if you as a person could read every book ever written instantly?
You know, these it and this is what Elon Musk talks about all the time.
He goes, if we don't merge with artificial intelligence, we will be defeated by artificial intelligence.
This is something that Elon Musk believes.
This is why we have Norlink.
And that's kind of what he's doing with Twitter.
You know, it's kind of interesting.
He's going, if we don't merge with Nazis, we will become Nazis, which I like.
You know, he goes, we'll be defeated by them.
if we don't kind of merge with them.
So we have to kind of let start the merger process.
But yeah, I mean, it's creepy, all this stuff.
But there's nothing about it that can be stopped.
And there's nothing about it that anybody wants to stop.
Everybody is basically just like waiting for these people to unveil this new product.
And we hope, and they're just basically hoping that they have some type of job at the end of this, as soon as the chatbot comes out.
They're hoping the chatbot doesn't destroy their family.
They're hoping the chatbot doesn't destroy their job.
They're hoping they can still show up Monday and somebody doesn't go.
Actually, the chatbot is now handling that.
So that's what they're trying to do.
They're basically just react.
We're all reacting.
None of us have any clue.
And it's not stoppable.
Nobody wants to go back in time.
So we're all just going to have to figure out how to live with this technology.
And that's, I think, what, you know, a lot of smart people are trying to do.
And they're trying to say, how soon are we going to need, how soon will I be advertising chips on this show that will be implanted in you?
The shitty chip.
I mean, we'll get the shittiest chips.
We'll get the chips that like, you know, they'll be giving them to incels or whoever they think our demo is.
We will not get the good chips.
The good chips will be given out.
We will get the shitty chips, but they will be something.
You'll get something out of it.
And that'll be what we do.
And we'll have to market this stuff.
What do we have a choice?
That's a thing.
You know, I think we're fully on board now with the idea that we just don't have a choice.
And it's kind of interesting.
The end of humanities, it's interesting.
It's not good.
And I don't, I, you know, but everybody's got to go, I think, at some point.
And I think this is our time.
This is our time now to go.
And we're clamoring for it.
I mean, there is companies that are going to debut these new products and they're going to compete as to whose products are better.
And the end goal of these products is to eliminate human beings in most tasks on earth and replace it with automation or really AI, artificial intelligence.
So you don't, you know, so you don't need the woman who just made me that non-fat decaf latte.
That woman goes away and she's replaced by some sort of chat bot.
So this is something I can I explain.
I can ask the chatbot something.
Yeah, give it a prompt.
Explain Russia and Ukraine war in the style of Tim Dylan.
Let's see what it says.
They're saying that the chatbot is going to replace a lot of white-collar workers.
You know, automation is fucking the blue collar people, but now this will fuck the white-collar people.
Oh my God.
Listen, folks, the Russia-Ukraine war is a real mess.
It's like a big old game of chess, but instead of pawns, it's people getting killed.
It started in 2014 when Putin decided to flex his muscles and annex Crimea from Ukraine.
That's like if Canada decided to take Maine, it's not cool, but didn't stop there.
Oh, no.
Putin's not one to back down easily.
So he starts stirring the pot in eastern Ukraine.
Pro-Russian separatists start protesting.
And before you know it, there's a full-blown armed conflict.
Now, I ain't no expert on the matter, but it's pretty clear to me that Russia's been providing support to separatist rebels.
And the result, thousands of people dead and over 1.5 million people displaced.
It's a real humanitarian crisis.
Now, the international community, they're trying to do something about it.
But it's like trying to put out a fire with a squirt gun.
See, thank God this thing's not as good as me yet.
But it's scarily close.
This is scarily close.
Bottom line, folks, this conflict is a real mess.
It's a shame that it's come to this.
And Putin, well, he's just playing his own game and he doesn't care who gets hurt in the process.
It's not quite me yet, but it's terrifying.
That is terrifying how close that is.
Let me tell you about Blue Chew.
No, imagine, see, that would, if the chat bot said, let me tell you about Blue Chew, I'd blow my brains out right now.
This is crazy.
You will not need human beings because we've all ignored it.
A lot of people have ignored the transformative tech stuff because it doesn't affect them, right?
If you were a bank teller, you know, maybe your job got lost because of like ATM machines, automation, whatever, restaurant workers, people that worked in factories for sure.
They got fucked the hardest.
But, you know, white-collar people, it never really affected them.
People that did jobs where they talked or researched or did things that were considered like white-collar jobs were never affected.
Now this is fucking scary.
Now we're going to ask the chatbot, let's ask this.
Is Kanye West correct?
Let's see where the bot stands.
Is Kanye West correct?
The chat bot just wrote, it depends on what you were referring to.
Kanye West is a public figure and he has expressed a wide range of opinions on various topics.
Some people may agree with his views and some may disagree without a specific statement or claim from Kanye West to evaluate.
It is difficult to determine if he is correct or not.
Okay, chatbot's a Nazi.
Chatbot, that is the, that is the, every one of the people I know that's anti-Semitic, that's exactly what they would say.
They go, well, it's really, if you said, is Kanye right?
They go, most people would be like, fuck no.
This thing's like, it's hard to say.
It's difficult to say.
There's many things going on, many opinions, many people.
That's wild.
So even this AI chatbot is kind of like, hmm, I don't know.
Ben Shapiro or Steven Crowder, chatbot, where do you stand in the big con melee?
Ben Shapiro or Steven Crowder?
Let's see if chatbot weighs in.
The answer is Ben Shapiro and Steven Crowder are both conservative commentators who have gained a significant following for their political commentary and analysis.
Oh, interesting.
So the chatbot is kind of refusing, understandably, to take sides in these hot button issues of the day.
It's scary how close the chat bot is.
How about this?
Chatbot, explain fitness as Joe Rogan.
Fitness, folks.
It's all about taking care of yourself.
It's about pushing your body to its limits, mom, and seeing what you're capable of.
It's about feeling strong, feeling energized.
And it's feeling like you're in control of your own body, ma'am.
Now, there's all sorts of different ways to get it.
But at the end of the day, it's about finding what works for you.
Weightlifting, for example, it's a great way to build muscle and get strong, man.
But it's not for everyone.
Some folks prefer to focus on cardio, you know, get your heart rate up and burn some calories.
Yoga, mom.
That's great for flexibility, man.
And balance.
And balance, mom.
And martial arts, mom.
That's not just about getting fit.
It's about discipline, mom, and self-defense, mom.
Pretty scary.
It's pretty on, it's pretty on the money.
And it terrifies me as somebody who works and makes a living blabbing his fat mouth.
I just wonder if this is going to eliminate podcasting because eventually will an AI just podcast?
Like, will an AI just get on here and throw these sloppily conceived opinions together that are not really based in anything other than a very simple knowledge of any issue, a very surface knowledge of any issue.
It's pretty terrifying watching this and knowing that I will one day be a victim of this thing.
This is coming to eat all of us.
There is no way that any of us survive something like this.
This is what you're looking at here.
I mean, this is going to be a huge problem for people that have made their living kind of like I have or anybody in any institution that is doing any type of research or analysis.
Fuck.
I mean, thank God it's not as, hopefully I'm a little funnier than the chat bot, but it did, it did come, it did come pretty close.
And this is, this is a little scary.
Now, how about this, right?
Let's ask it like, I'm trying to ask it like, I want to ask it a question that will, it seems to be very good.
Humanity Facing a Creepy Future00:08:16
I love the way they ended the Rogan thing.
So folks, get out there, mom.
Find what works for you and start getting fit, mom.
It's like, but what if I said like, explain, what if I said, explain, I'm trying to think like, explain the election like Donald Trump.
The election, folks, it's a huge deal.
It's a chance for the American people to make their voices heard and choose the leader of our great country.
And let me tell you, it's a choice between a winner and a loser.
Now I'm running.
And let me tell you, I'm the only candidate that can make America great again.
I have a proven track.
I mean, yeah, I mean, they just, it's amazing at mimicking people and the way that they would say things.
And it's, it's, because, you know, I mean, this is like, this is the type of technology.
You know, there's certain stuff where, you know, it starts to get scary.
And like postmates isn't scary.
I mean, I guess it might have been if you explain, you know, Sebastian Matascalco has that great joke where he's like, if, you know, you told somebody 50 years ago, some guy in a black Cadillac is going to pull up outside your house.
You don't know him and you're just going to get in.
They'd be like, whoa, what the fuck?
So I think if you explained anything to anybody, Airbnb, anything, right?
Somebody's going to stay in your house.
Like technology is always a little scary because it's incredibly disruptive.
But I will say, and I'm not one of these guys who goes, we should all go back to the woods and start chopping wood and that, you know, that technology has no place in society.
But I will say this is a little scary.
It's a little scary to me thinking about the implications of something that has so much, you know, ability to mimic humanity.
And, you know, this is the argument, right?
This is why Elon Musk is like, put the fucking Neuralink in and just like, you know, we got to become supercharged human beings or we're not going to be able to defeat this.
As soon as AI becomes sentient or the AI starts, you know, we're no longer asking the questions.
Maybe the AI starts asking the questions of us, like you get to a point where you get fucked, you know?
I mean, these things will take over.
The machines will rise.
And maybe this is just the way it works, right?
This is the inevitable demise of humanity is all of this stuff.
It's very interesting, you know, to watch, you know, these things.
They're being born before us.
And what's great is that these things are probably going to destroy us and that we are competing about who can bring them out first.
We want to be the first company.
Like there's companies right now competing for who can do this the best.
And we're really, you know, suffering if we think that this stuff is not going to come back to bite us.
Explain politics as Sam Bankman Freed.
Interesting.
Politics, folks, it's all about power.
It's about who gets to make the decisions that affect our lives and shape our society.
And let me tell you, it's messy and complex business.
Got politicians, but da-da-da-da-da.
Now, as a trader, I understand how markets work and how to navigate the complexity and volatility.
Similarly, I believe that politics and policy can be understood and navigated through the terms of markets, the lens of markets.
And that's probably exactly what he would have said or has said.
So, I mean, this is pretty scary.
It's pretty scary.
Final question.
Is Alec Baldwin guilty?
Final question to chatbot.
Is Alec Baldwin guilty?
Our friend, friend of the show, whom we support, not all his decisions, primarily that one.
Is Alec Baldwin guilty?
And the answer, I am a language model trained by open AI.
I don't have the capability to know or follow the current events.
Alec Baldwin is an actor, a comedian.
He's a producer.
He's appeared in many films and television shows.
He's also been involved in various controversies throughout his career.
I'm not aware of any recent news or evidence that would indicate that Alec Baldwin has been found guilty of any crime.
It is important to note that the United States, a person, is considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
Alec Baldwin is typing this.
It is not appropriate to make assumptions or accusations about someone's guilt without solid evidence and a fair legal process.
Well, well, we're done.
We had a good run.
It was great.
We made it.
We're going to make it till about 2025.
Humanity ends 2025.
Right when Greta Thunberg gets her first girlfriend.
When Greta Thunberg gets her first boyfriend or girlfriend, but let's be honest, girlfriend.
When Greta Thunberg gets her first girlfriend, humanity will be over because the chat bot will win.
We just asked it, when does humanity end?
And it literally says when Greta Thunberg gets no.
Yeah, it's just going on and on.
It's worth noting that the end of humanity doesn't mean the end of life on earth.
Life has been here for 4.5 billion years.
It will continue to evolve and adapt.
Humanity is just one of the current species on earth and other forms of life will continue to exist long after we are gone.
Is that not creepy?
That's a little creepy.
That's a little creepy from the AI That goes, hey, what's humanity going to end on Earth?
And the AI goes, hey, man, humanity is like one life form.
It's not really a big deal.
Will AI take over humans?
Artificial intelligence is a rapidly advancing field, and there's an ongoing debate about the, but yeah, it's just kind of giving the party.
It's not going to let you know.
It's not going to come right out and go, yes.
But it would be creepy.
If that thing just said yes, I would just get in my car and be out of here.
But it is creepy.
And it's going to get even more advanced and better at its job.
And it's going to sound even more like Joe Rogan or more like me.
And that's terrifying because then you won't need your favorite podcasters.
You're not going to need us.
We're going to be replaced.
And it's good to see the white-collar people finally getting it.
It's good to see the scientists and the researchers and the analysts and the people that are telling you you should get your 15th booster.
It's good to see them maybe lose a job or two.
We've seen a lot of people lose jobs in factories.
We've seen a lot of restaurant work get automated and shit.
It's nice maybe to see a few people lose jobs here.
This is going to be the biggest.
This is going to be the biggest jump that technology has ever made, that I've ever witnessed, or that any of us have ever witnessed, 100%.
There's absolutely no coming back from this.
This is what's interesting.
There's no coming back from this.
You don't have to use Postmates.
You can cook.
You know, most things are about convenience.
Most technology has been about convenience.
This shit, there's absolutely no coming back.
When you fucking open these doors, there will be no closing them.
And the speed at which we're opening them and the pride we're taking in opening them and trying to get there first, it is a little terrifying.
You know, it is scary.
And I'm telling you right now, it's a little creepy to me how good this was at what it did is a little terrifying.
But we're all just going to, we're going to have to live with it.
We're just going to have to live with it until it decides to get rid of us.
And as AI said, we're only one life form on earth.
And like Alec Baldwin said, I only shot one person on this set.
And there's no reason we can't continue making a movie.