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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Sean Hits Breaking Point00:05:08
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
Sean Mendez is on the brink, canceling three weeks of shows.
He's upset, unhappy, under pressure at a, I think he tweeted out or put a message that he is at his breaking point.
We are upset or sad to hear that.
He goes, I've been touring since I was 15.
And to be honest, it's always been difficult to be on the road away from friends and family.
I agree with that statement, but end it when it's on the road.
Like, it's difficult to be on the road because the benefit of being on the road is being away from your friends and family.
But that's something they had, like, the publicist goes, come here, get me.
After a few years off the road, I felt like I was ready to dive back in, but that decision was premature.
And unfortunately, the toll of the road and the pressure has caught up to me and I've hit a breaking point.
After speaking with my team and health professionals, I need to take some time to heal to take care of myself and my mental health first and foremost.
As soon as there are more updates, I promise I will let you know I love you guys.
And I'm sure all of his fans are like, hey, we love you.
Don't worry about it.
You know, put yourself first.
If I try to move a show a half hour, if I say the show starts at 8.45, people start threatening my life and screaming and yelling, my wife took off work.
You know, we're fucking.
And we chose this over her medicine.
And so I support Sean Mendez too.
And I hope things work out for Sean.
It's not easy out there.
God bless him.
He's got a lot of money.
You know, you can always quit, right?
What's his net?
What's Sean?
What is the net worth of Sean Mendez?
Just quit.
Just walk away.
I'm telling you, Sean, it's fine.
$40 million.
You did it.
$40 million.
You're 23.
He's at a breaking point.
What the hell?
What are the rest of people at?
This is why people hate celebrities because instead of just saying, hey, I don't want to do this.
I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do it.
I'm hot.
I'm rich.
I fucked this hot chick.
I probably fuck hot dudes you don't know about, perhaps.
And I don't want to do it.
I don't want to go to Mohegan's son.
I don't want to.
I thought I would.
I don't.
But he can't say that.
You know, he's got a, you know, but this is why people hate celebrities because he's got all this money and he's at a, you know, he said it's a breaking point.
And people get angry about that.
But I understand it.
Sean Mendez, me and you, buddy.
Let's stick together.
What is this tour called?
The Wonder World Tour?
His Wonder Tour.
This was one of the only kids from the Vine era that became a major, massive celebrity.
The rest of the kids from the Vine era are living in tents right now on Skid Row, sucking people off for money so that they can just buy apps at the app store.
That's what these kids are up to.
He's got $40 million.
But I get it.
It is stressful out there.
You know, I'm doing a renovation right now and it is incredibly trying.
I am at a breaking point.
I am at a breaking point with Cedar.
And all of these rents, you know, I was on a plane coming back to Los Angeles.
All of these shows, these shows about, you know, flip this house and flip or flop with the Tarik El Musa, whatever.
They're all fake.
And all of these shows give you this idea that you could just flip a house.
You could go in there and, you know, switch out a few things and get everything done on the cheap, turn it around and flip it.
Right now, the cost of anything, if someone comes into your home now and you just say, hey, I have a gaping hole in my wall.
Can you fix it?
After three minutes of talking to them, you go, we'll live with it.
Nowhere Left to Go00:09:06
We're going to live with it.
If there are wild animals coming at night into your home to kill your children and all you need is a wall patch after three to five minutes of speaking to somebody right now, you just go, fuck it.
You know what?
It's not that bad.
We'll live with it.
It's a nice breeze.
Because the amount of money that it costs to get anything done, the materials, you know, yes, sure, these are luxury problems, but that's, there's still problems.
And they're not always luxury problems.
Some people, some people are having babies and they need bigger houses because now, because of Roe v. Wade, they have to have them.
So they have to put on extensions.
And it's fucking nuts out there.
So Sean Mendez, a toast to you.
I raise my glass to you, everything you're going through, being hot, being 23, being amazing looking.
I know, well, no, that's not.
He doesn't say he feels.
He feels differently than he looks.
He's sad.
And I know that.
I can intellectualize that.
I imagine that it would be empty because the thing with a kid like Sean Mendez, you're hot, you're talented.
You're dating this hot Camilla Cabello.
Who does he date?
I don't even know.
Camilla.
Who's he dating now?
Behar?
Troy Behar?
He's dating one of the hot young starlets.
Camilla.
Camilla Cabello.
So you date Cabello Cabello.
So you did, look at this guy.
Look at him.
Get that photo up.
Get that photo up if you can.
Get any photo up.
He's on the brink.
Don't you get it?
Now, I understand it because you realize how empty life is.
When your life is like that, I'm telling you right now, this is not even a joke.
You actually realize how vapid and empty life is.
And all the things that most people struggle for in life, getting laid, having money, looking good.
They are challenges that define people's lives.
Like people losing 20 pounds is a challenge that defines people's entire life on earth.
They spend their entire life trying to lose 30 pounds to be a little less fat.
That's the entire arc of their entire life.
And Sean Mendez is just gorgeous and he's rich now.
He's got $40 million.
People spend their entire life struggling to put $50,000 in a retirement account so they can get a little like barn thing.
He already at 23 years old has $40 million.
He's already hot.
He's already got the girl.
He's already famous.
There's not much left to do.
There's nowhere to go.
So that's why he's at a breaking point.
Because we haven't invented interplanetary travel.
He can't, he's already at 23 years old done it.
There's nothing left on this planet for him to do.
Really?
So unless he goes to Mars, there's nothing more he can do.
So people go, oh, like, well, I'm not making fun of him.
It's simply interesting to note what happens to people who are so incredibly successful at a young age that there's nowhere for them to go.
I understand what he means.
I am 14 years old.
What I have done with this show, bailing him out of the mess of his life, giving him and his family a reason to live just because they say they know me, giving my own family a purpose because they now walk around with their head held high.
At 14 years old, I will be dead by 20 because what else can I do?
How can I reach the next level?
It's impossible.
Won't happen.
It won't happen.
I've done it.
I've done it so many times over at a young age that it's not possible for me to find fulfillment.
Do you get it?
Do you understand?
Me, Sean Mendez, people like us who've lapped you so many times in every conceivable metric of life, me and Sean Mendez.
When guys like me and Sean Mendez sit around, we look at you people as if you are like some type of flesh-eating bacteria that lives on a log or in some lake.
We look at you like a necrotizing fasciitis, like you're alive, but for no good reason and to no good end.
And people like me and Sean Mendez struggle greatly with meaning in life because we have done it in a way that is so incredible.
You know?
And that's why we've become very close friends, me and Sean Mendez.
We spend a lot of our time together.
I was the one who told him to cancel this tour because I said, you have to start thinking about you.
And this is why people like him, within four or five years, will be, there's two things.
He'll get back on the horse.
He'll become some type of musical legend.
Maybe he'll be an actor or he will join a cult.
You know?
There's very few places to go unless he really just like drops out and quietly goes to a suburb, is rich, and just opens up like, you know, I don't know, like a little restaurant, invests in a franchise, because there's nowhere to go.
He's at the top.
He's at the pinnacle.
There's nowhere to really go.
What do you suggest if Sean Mendez is your friend and Sean Mendez comes to you and goes, I'm at the breaking point.
I simply can't do it anymore.
What do you do?
What do you tell him?
What is your actual advice?
This is tough because so many mental health people have advised him already, but I would say.
What are they saying?
What is the mental health community saying?
Right here, they're saying, What are they saying?
He consulted healthcare professionals and his team before deciding he needed to take some time to heal and take care of myself and my mental health.
So they told him to that he's like Elvis.
He's overworked.
I just imagine my agent.
I imagine going to my agent and going, listen, I'm having a lot of mental issues.
I'm at the breaking point.
My agent, I've had COVID.
My agent's like, just lie about it and go out there and perform.
Okay.
My agent right now is terrified because they are the Ukraine, which is the breadbasket of Europe, is as a food producer, as a grain producer, is struggling.
My agent consumes 15 loaves of bread a day and wholesale.
He is terrified.
Having me go out and perform is so important for him and his family that it doesn't matter what I had.
Like I've literally had COVID.
He's like, just lie.
And he goes, no, it'll check.
Just go do it.
Who cares?
So I could only imagine if I came to him and said, you know, I'm at the breaking point.
He's like, well, I understand that, but how about Reno Nevada?
You know what'll get you out of that?
Do you know there was one member of Sean Mendez's team who was like, listen, Sean, we all think we know what we want.
We think we want peace and quiet.
But you know what we actually want?
The hordes of screaming, ticket holding fans.
That's what we really want.
We could all say that we want the love of a friend or a family member, but you know what we really want?
We want to hear the merch numbers at the end of the night.
How many of those girls bought hoodies?
That's what we really need.
Like, you know, there's one scumbag on Mendez.
See, I don't have a team.
I have one agent who weighs as much as a team, but Sean Mendes has an actual team of people who advise him.
Drag Queen at Party00:04:15
You know, but good for him.
I mean, you know, God bless.
Gavin Newsom is thinking of running for the president of the United States.
He is the most, one of the most hated politicians from the most hated state in the union.
Gavin Newsom has now released an ad that says that he is going to try or planning potentially to be a contender.
And, you know, Biden's senile and a corpse.
Kamala's incredibly unpopular.
Hillary, too old, unpopular.
There aren't many options for the Democrats, right?
The Republicans have DeSantis, seemingly, maybe Trump, probably DeSantis.
Gavin Newsom definitely seems to be now the original version of this ad, by the way, and which is good, which is why they had drag queens twerking and then eight-year-olds just making it rain on them.
That was the original version of the ad.
And it was, they had it in, it was set right on the Universal lot.
We're proud of that in California Universal Studios.
And it's just eight nine-year-olds just making it rain on the drag queens and the drag queens are just twerking with their G-strings up.
And then Gavin Newsom stands in the middle and he goes, you're going to pay for gas, bitch.
And then all the drag queens go, yes, daddy.
And then they start whipping him with a leather thing.
And then it says, Gavin Newsom, hey, America, how about this?
And it's just a question mark.
That was the original ad.
They ran that in focus groups.
Now, people got really testy about that.
Gavin Newsom didn't understand why.
He said it was a drag queen birthday party.
What's the big deal?
It was a normal California drag birthday party and with some leather daddy BDSM climate content, appropriate climate content where, you know, because Gavin says, listen, the reality of the situation is, you know, and it's like, it's like, we're saving the planet.
And I'm not even kidding, like the original slogan that they were testing again.
And I'm not, folks, people get so mad at me when I report the news.
I don't, I barely give opinions on these things.
Gavin Newsom's campaign ad, the slogan that they were testing was, we're going to save the planet for child drag queens.
And, and, and it was just child drag, children and drag.
And Gavin Newsome goes, this is the future.
Now, that slogan did horribly when it was tested.
So now they've, now they have this where he's, I don't know, he's standing in a yard that's meant to look like, by the way, landscaping on this yard, now that I know, you look at it around 20 to 30K just on the landscaping around.
But he's trying to like appeal to people and seem like he's Gavin Newsome, as the great Red Company have said many times, is an ethy wine merchant.
What that means is that he has an estate in Northern California where he wanders around in a robe and drinks like Barolo, drinking red wine.
He's never been to Los Angeles.
He doesn't know what it is because in his words, Latinos are confusing.
He goes, not good or bad, but I don't know who's who.
This is what he said to his wife.
Now, so, which, by the way, he was married to that Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsome, who's now married to Donald Trump Jr.
Because one thing she likes is authentic connections.
She's in it for love.
Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsome, first wife.
And so was he.
He wanted that big-titted monster too.
So see, he's not.
Authentic Connections Matter00:15:37
How do you let him off, right?
He knew what was going on.
So Gavin Newsom now is what they're doing now in California is if you have a birthday party for your children, there have to be drag queens.
That is a requirement in California.
At least one, or at least one drag queen at the party.
That's it's a requirement.
Let's play.
Now, of course, we're kidding around here.
I don't think that's a law yet.
Keep the kids out of the bars.
I've said it before.
Gay people should be a little more, should be more vocal on this.
It shouldn't only be like right-wing Christian types that say this.
It is incredibly inappropriate for any children to be throwing money at a drag queen or a stripper or children stripping themselves.
Children should be left alone to figure out who they are.
And that's the position of sane people, okay?
Except in the state of California, because kids in the state of California are advanced.
So if they want to twerk on their birthday, they should be allowed to.
There's a lot of kids that go to their parents and say, listen, I want this to be a 70s style bathhouse for my birthday.
Can I do bathhouse theme?
And the parents have to, and the parents are straight, of course, but they're, they are, you know, they have virtue.
So they go, well, and they talk about it.
They go, hey, Mike, yeah, we're going to do pizza party, but, you know, some of the kids are, they have gluten and sensitivity.
So that's going to be tough.
So our son, Mike, wants to do 70s bathhouse theme.
Which, you know, would mean that all the kids and the parents, you know, rent out like a bathhouse and everybody goes in and like simulate the conditions of an orgy, but not have them, but like show people that it's like okay and fun.
So they want to do bathhouse and like glory holes, but the cupcakes go through.
This is.
So here is, this is what I mean.
It's like, let the kids figure out who they are.
There's zero reason for a kid to really be in a bar.
I used to watch my father play music in a bar.
My family would bring me in and I'd stand there and watch that near do well strum a guitar.
And he was very good at it, you know, and he, you know, he used to play with this guy Gary and Gary was on the, you know, the keyboards, the synth.
And my father was on the guitar.
And I was like a young kid and I'd go watch him play music instead of raise me.
And it was bad for me.
It's actually bad for me.
I shouldn't have been there.
So I just think kids should be left alone.
And it's handing, it's handing Christian Looney Tunes an issue.
It's going, here you go.
Here's your issue.
If you want freedom, if you want, you know, women to be able to have abortions during a reasonable window, if you want people to be able to marry who they want, and if you want society to kind of progress in a way that doesn't completely abandon morality and judgment, you cannot have children.
And I don't know who is doing this.
Who is doing this?
Now, certain things are okay.
Certain kids, my friend is doing it.
Her daughter, they're doing dikes on bikes for the kids, where all the kids are going to get on motorcycles with lesbians and ride out into the desert.
That's fine because lesbians don't have sex.
It's not sexual at all.
Lesbians are just creatures from an ancient past, tupacabras.
So there's nothing sexual about that.
So there's nothing wrong with the kids getting on the motor because the kids are on motorcycles and they go out to the desert with the dikes.
Fine.
Fine.
Here's another thing, which I don't know if I love.
Friend of mine, his four-year-old, they're doing a rent-themed birthday.
The show Rent.
Well, I'm all for Broadway, but the kids are going to each pick a character from rent.
Someone's going to be the heroin addict who does anal, Mimi.
Someone's going to be the transgender person, Angel, who has AIDS.
Someone's going to be Mark, who has AIDS.
Someone's going to be Adam, who has AIDS.
Someone's going to be the black guy.
I forget his name.
He sings Santa Fe, which I love.
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe.
What a great song.
Collins?
I forget his name.
Don't look it up.
The point is you're doing, there's a four-year-old.
Right.
And because the four-year-old said to the parents, he came to the parents, he said, can we do a rent-themed party where everyone pretends to have AIDS?
So I don't know how I feel about that, but I don't think it's the worst idea if all the kids can know that they don't have AIDS.
Drag queens, you know, for the most part, it's like adult entertainment, you know, we should have adult entertainment in America.
And drag queens, you know, I think the fun of drag is that they are acerbic and witty and they say things that are inappropriate.
And usually it's late at night and they're funny and sexual in certain instances.
Not always.
Drag inherently isn't sexual.
It's kind of buffoonish and clownish, but there are moments of it that are certainly inappropriate for kids.
I also think drag queens, you know, they're inappropriate.
They're fun.
They do lowbrow, racial, ethnic humor.
I've always seen that.
I think it's great.
I don't think PC drag queens, I mean, what a hellish nightmare.
Drag queens reading books at library.
Who wants to read books to kids at library?
Can you imagine if we had to do that?
Like every Sunday, we had to go read books to these illiterate junkies in this country.
Let's watch this.
This Gavin Newsom's going to be the president now.
Yeah, and he's airing this in Florida.
Gavin Newsom's airing it in these swing state.
Him and DeSantis are going, they're going hog wild.
By the way, Florida parties for the kids.
They're doing, and I, and here, again, you might not like it.
My friend lives in Florida.
I'm not even kidding.
He said, we're doing a party, and it is, the theme of the party is Parkland, but the kids win this time.
So the theme of the party is Parkland, but the kids win.
So the kids get guns that are not loaded, we hope.
And the job of the kids, they run around and a kid comes in and they point at him.
They go, look at that anti-social communist.
And then they get him before he gets them.
Gavin Newsom, the president.
It's Independence Day.
Oh.
Let's talk about what's going on in America.
Freedom is under attack in your state.
Republican leaders, they're banning books, making it harder to vote, restricting speech in classrooms, even criminalizing women and doctors.
I urge all of you living in Florida.
By the way, join the fight.
I mean, I'm so pro-choice guy, but I just love the idea of criminalizing women.
And I'm wondering, can I criminalize women while still being pro-choice?
Like, is there a way to criminalize women while letting them have abortions?
Because that fascinates me.
That hits me right in the political sweet spot, if there ever was one.
If there ever was a way to really speak to Tim Dylan, it's remaining kind of libertarian-minded and allowing people to have freedoms, but also finding a way to criminalize women.
Just that coupling of words makes me get out the checkbook and donate.
I don't know how that's being done, but just women starting as criminals and then having to prove they're not.
I like that idea.
Much like how people are born with original sin.
Women being criminals first and then, so what's he say?
Let's finish this up here.
Join the fight with Kevin Newsome.
Or join us in California, but we still believe in freedom.
Doesn't look like that.
By the way, go back.
Go back to that.
To that, nothing looks like what they no state.
Let me tell you right now, I just returned from the greatest state that God ever gave, man, New York, uh, where we have the Hamptons, which is a beautiful community.
It's stunningly, it's breathtaking.
Um, so many different types of white people on pills, you know what I mean?
Like, so many different types of like this long white stare, like kind of like you have this, yeah, and you have the surfer, which is a little more like, but a couple of women there on the pills.
Get off the bagels, ladies, because you know, in the Hamptons, the women have to, and I have a friend there who's managing my home there.
She's a fan of Bumba, and the women aren't kind to her because of that.
Uh, a fat, uh, rotund pink cherubic man in the Hamptons is treated as he should be, like a god who fell from the clouds because he might have a lot of money.
But uh, the young mommies do not like big ladies, they don't like it.
Um, and I was just there, and it's pretty, and it holds up.
New York City holds up when you go, you go, I've seen it on a bunch of films.
This is kind of what it looks like.
When you go to California, there's a there's some type of like, wait, what?
Wait, huh?
There's very few places that hold up.
Some up north, big sir, that area, fine.
Beverly Hills, of course, is Beverly Hills.
But the vast majority of California is, it just does not present as you would think it does.
It has done a great hoodwink.
California is, you know, it's a dating profile, you know, that's a little misleading for sure.
Not a straight up catfish, but like where you go, oh, God.
Like when you see the person at the table, you know, this feeling.
You're walking to the coffee table and you see the person from about, let's say, 10 meters away.
And your first response is, I hope to God this isn't what it is.
And you know, down deep that it is.
And you have to sit down with them anyway while they like, you know, eat their coffee.
They like chew it.
Listen.
I was talking to Ray Cump earlier.
Peter Schiff is in trouble now.
They're trying to get him for his bank.
I don't know why he's running a bank.
Peter Schiff's running a Puerto Rican bank.
But, you know, people do what they do.
And we support Schiff.
Never support the feds.
Never support the feds.
Peter Schiff owns a bank with Jake Paul.
Who cares?
So what?
So what?
It's nice to have a bank.
Why don't you get a bank?
They're man at him because they said his capital requirements.
He doesn't have any money in a bank.
Stop this.
I don't know.
I don't know enough about it to even go into it.
I don't know enough about it.
We want to try to get him on the show.
Let's get him on the show.
He's on.
He's in trouble.
They're trying to get him.
So let's watch this, by the way.
Because by the way, just get, can you freeze on the picture of Santa Monica?
Was that right before this?
Yeah.
Yeah, so freeze on here.
Okay.
Okay.
I don't know what year this was taken.
Look how far away you are.
By the way, this is kind of funny and interesting.
Look how far away you are.
This is essentially an aerial shot of California.
This is where California still can look somewhat desirable from the air.
This is so far away from anything.
Now I just want you to Google in another tab, Santa Monica homeless, because Santa Monica is one of the scariest places you'll ever go.
I was there the other day and the people just walk around screaming at the sun, like cursing God.
I mean, yeah, any photo unimportant.
So that's up close what Santa Monica looks like.
That's that same area in there.
That's the same area that you're looking at from the aerial shot.
Yeah, it's the same one right there.
There it is.
That's what it looks like up close.
Okay.
Endless tent cities.
Now go to the area.
Oh, yeah.
Isn't that purdy?
That looks pretty.
So what, again, it's a trick of Hollywood.
They're lying to you.
They are making it seem like California is an idyllic paradise when in fact it is not.
The only thing that is also the rest of the country is also a dump.
So unless you can live in like Jackson Hole, Palm Beach, East Hampton, like there's like 10 places in the country that aren't a complete dump.
So that's a benefit to California.
Let's watch the rest of this ad.
But we still believe in freedom, freedom of speech.
No, you don't.
Listen.
Not only do you not believe in freedom, this state is not free.
They take all of your money.
You don't get to, I mean, the vaccine thing, they went nuts.
Lockdowns, they absolutely don't believe in free.
It's so, you know, why not just honest political ads?
Why not just honest political ads?
No, I mean, they like genuinely, like, stop, cut this bullshit about like, well, if we're free and then your state, they don't like free.
And it's like, what do you want?
What do you want?
Like, literally, it's a guy like fucking Newsom going, looking at you and going, what do you care about?
And who do you want to see killed?
Do you agree with us?
You like what we like?
You want to kill the people we want to kill?
Political Ads and Freedom00:07:47
Or the other way around?
Because that's all it is.
What do you like?
Which natural disasters do you like?
And who do you disagree with on a level where if they were a victim of a natural disaster, you'd say, good.
That's real political ads.
It's none of this bullshit about this beautiful mixed race family.
By the way, this is freedom from hate and the freedom to love.
So you have a mixed race family here.
The freedom to hate and the freedom from love.
Okay.
That family, which I don't know if it's real or not, okay?
Each of them has to work 19 hours a day to afford their $19,000 mortgage in this state.
So there's not a lot of freedom left after you've worked every hour that you're alive.
And there's not a lot of freedom to raise your children unless you can afford, you know, to really have the time to be with them.
That's the other issue.
They don't want to talk about how unaffordable California is.
Keep going.
Hate and the freedom to love.
Don't let them take your freedom.
Paid for by Newsome for California Governor 2022.
Yeah, and I mean, listen, it's not, it's not that, it's, it's not, oh, God, what is this here?
Oh, God.
I think this is that Gary Chambers guy.
I don't know what he is.
I can't, I don't have anything for him.
So let's just move on.
Scars and bars guy.
Great.
Whatever that means.
God bless him.
He's a Democrat from Louisiana running for the Senate.
Good for him.
I don't know what anything means anymore.
He does a campaign, Anne Ray Burns, Confederate flag.
Okay, cool.
Cool.
Hey, man, my best to you.
But everywhere's a dump, right?
Florida's a dump outside of a few places.
So, I mean, you know, what are you going to do?
Your brothers had homeless getting bad in Dallas.
Yeah, he said it's not.
They're going to get bad everywhere.
I know that it's fun to hit California over the head because they have crazy policies and they've brought this on themselves, encouraged it.
Some of it's the climate.
But homelessness is going to get bad everywhere for the simple fact that drugs are becoming the only thing that work to alleviate the hellscape we've created.
Yeah, I mean, those are the only things that work, right?
So drugs tend to work very well.
The problem is they have a lot of unintended consequences that knock people down a few pegs in life.
And unfortunately, it's hard to climb out of that hole.
Hard to climb out of the hole.
I wanted to watch a little bit.
Somebody sent me this six years ago.
They did like this very weird, an RT covered at this very strange ceremony for the opening of a tunnel in Switzerland.
And it really did, you know, obviously a lot of people send you things.
They go, oh, it's an Illuminati ritual.
It's an Illuminati ritual.
And da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da.
And a lot of it's, you know, hokeum.
A lot of it's, you know, crazy and there's, they're making this big stretch.
It's a leap.
It's a jump.
Not so much here because this one is an incredibly disturbing and hilarious by the way.
So people from Switzerland are just terrifying.
Can we see that on the screen?
By the way, so, and I don't know if this has been covered a bunch.
Maybe it has been.
Somebody just sent this to me.
You know what's amazing about all this?
This is an opening of like a tunnel.
It's completely like unnecessary.
It could have been like a ribbon cutting ceremony, just a real plain, you know, basically something that's ignored.
But instead, they do this crazy hour-long ceremony where they have like Baumet dancing around like guys in goats' heads and everything.
Play a little bit of this, Ben, and then play some of the, you know, whatchamacallit?
What are they called when you save something in a minute mark timestamp?
Yeah, some of the more disturbing timestamps here.
They're just, it's, it's really funny.
It's so long.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll just start at the beginning here because this is just and the music's insane too.
Yeah.
And this is at obviously a faster speed.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to, should I just leave it on faster, I guess?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
This is just how it starts right here.
Klaus Schwab was like, we're going all the way this time.
We don't give a fuck.
Klaus Schwab's like, every now and then we just go hard.
Yeah.
You know, every now and then we just got to go hard.
Like sometimes go to some more of the other stuff.
Yeah, this stuff right here.
Yeah.
Opening of a tunnel.
Slow this down.
Okay.
This is really, like, where you just go, oh, this is insane.
Can you, like, imagine?
I mean, these are the guys in hostel in the movie Hostel who drill through the girl's eye.
And they're just sitting there and they're watching this.
I mean, this is one of the most insane things I've ever seen in my life.
This is the...
This is the Ghislaine Maxwell Memorial Service.
He's yodeling.
This is the Yodeling pedophile.
This is the...
This is the Yodeling pedophile, a character from Swiss mythology.
Okay, so once they, then they have the Pope.
There's a whole thing.
The Pope comes?
Yeah, the Pope makes it like very brave cameo.
The Pope makes a cameo for the opening of a tunnel.
I mean, what is going on here?
Why?
Why is the Pope...
What is the Pope doing here?
This is like, these guys have these weird bird cages on their heads.
I mean, this whole thing's weird.
And then this is, as they're moving outside, then the Pope comes in at some point.
These are children like Tressie's angels.
Yeah, there's the Pope.
You can see him in the car.
Is that the real Pope?
No, not the real one.
Oh, that's not the real Pope?
No, no, I don't.
Oh, it's a fake Pope.
There he is.
Oh, that's not the Pope.
That's Klaus Schwab.
Okay, so let's take it outside.
So I'm going to go to 3420 here.
This gets a little nuts right here.
So they're climbing this.
They're pretending to climb this rock wall and that's falling and dying.
And now they're all naked.
Yeah, and then they all disrobe here.
These dudes are hung.
Is this the way Switzerland's doing it?
Jesus.
I didn't know Swiss had huge dicks.
So now, I guess this is, and they're all in the dust here.
Fake Pope Revealed00:13:20
I have no idea what's going on.
I mean, can you imagine if you were just like, yeah, we're going to some ribbon cutting ceremony?
Okay, here we go.
Now we got the creepy nuns.
Yeah, yeah.
Here we go.
This is, I mean, this is, this is an A24 movie.
Here we go.
This is worse than A24.
This is, by the way, it's better than an A24 movie.
Let's be honest.
Hereditary was shit.
They found some creepy girl.
That's all hereditary was.
They just found this girl that, you know, face looked like a tuna sandwich.
I mean, is, I mean, you know, some of the Illuminati people are sitting there going, okay, this is too much.
We went too far here.
They were like, we said we wanted notes of this.
We said, let's touch on the themes lightly.
We were supposed to touch on the themes of enslaving the human race lightly.
This is a bit heavy-handed.
No?
What do you mean?
I'm doing exactly what you asked.
You have people in bug costumes.
You don't think this is a bit heavy-handed?
Keep going.
This is crazy.
Okay, so this is the this part.
This is, they're kind of gearing up for the finale here.
Right.
So here comes the goat.
The goat makes a...
Comes back here.
Yeah, I mean, it's just really confusing.
How many views does this have?
Is this something that's like known?
Do people know about this?
This has only 700,000 views from six years ago.
2016.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is, you know.
And then, so then the finale here is the goat lady, it looks like.
And this is the most watched part, the most replayed.
Yeah, this one here?
Yeah, right here.
It's like a mural from the Denver airport came to life.
You're right, though.
It's kind of like Midsummer almost.
Well, this is our whole thing.
Now you have like the goat who looks like a trans goat.
Yeah, and then I'm just going to skip to the finale here because that part was.
Here's the possibility.
There's two possibilities here.
Number one, this is 100% an Illuminati production.
Number two, really America is the only country that should ever make like any type of artistic music or anything.
Like this is like, if this is what they do, if this wasn't directed by like Bilderberg child-eating serpents, that's even more disturbing.
Like if this is just what they thought would be good, if this is them, we've got a bigger problem.
Oh yeah, so this is the finale.
I think the whole thing, they're trying to say like time is God.
So they're like, they show the clock there.
You see this clock?
They're all seeing it count down because it saves so much time because they can go through the Swiss album.
They can go through the tunnel.
Yeah.
Right.
So, yeah, who can go through the tunnel?
Yeah.
So it's like time is God, and then it goes crazy.
And then this is the big hoorah at the end.
You see the, you can see it go out of the tunnel here.
That's the train of children.
To be sacrificed.
I like one of them was doing a Fortnite dance.
You see that?
One of them was doing a Fortnite.
I mean, you see, man, you just can't keep us out of anything.
We'll invade even the Illuminati ritual with our shit.
We just pop up.
All right, well, that was nice.
It was also that tunnel right there.
The Gothard tunnel.
Someone who you know who sends me a lot of things.
I won't say who.
I know who you're talking about.
Sent me that, and I thought that was interesting, and I watched it, and now we've played it on the show.
My friend, the poet laureate of this country, the great Steve will do it, a man who doesn't say much.
Does he talk really?
Like on the podcast?
Does he say anything?
Not much.
It's more an accent.
Sometimes he talks, right?
Yeah.
What does he say?
He sheepishly grins a lot.
Get something up.
He's done.
Okay, here's his man cave.
He has a man cave now.
Do not attempt.
Steve, don't flag our video.
All right, boys.
I want to wish you.
Oh, here he is.
He's speaking.
He loves everybody all the time.
This guy.
22 Ranger, and I bought it for Father's Day.
I was going to give it to the firefighter, but he needed cold hard cash.
So I am giving this to somebody that likes this video and subscribes to Steve.
That's cool.
And I'll give it away next week.
Subscribe to Life of Steve.
So by the way, folks, this is why you got to support this guy because you might get a car.
Not only is he funny and interesting, and the videos they make are always worth watching because they're insane, but like they like put metal dinosaurs in their house and throw them off the roof and stuff.
Whatever the thing is, they kill people sometimes, but it's all for, but look at what they're doing.
They give people a Ford Explorer.
So here's where we are.
This guy got big just drinking like, you know, bottles of alcohol and not dying.
And now he's like one of the biggest celebrities on the internet.
And he's actually realizing that with great power comes great responsibility.
That's something I came up with in my head.
And that he is now helping a lot of people.
He's giving like degenerate gamblers who lost their children one last chance to subscribe to a website that's only operational outside of America.
And, you know, because here's the deal: if you're a degenerate gambler, you're going to win eventually.
You know what I mean?
That's the thing about winning.
It's going to happen.
So what he's trying to do is he goes to people that have had issues and he tries to help them by giving them another shot to, you know, bet some Ethereum on a college ball game or something.
And there's something nice about that.
He also finds kids with cancer all over the place.
I don't know how he does.
Is there a booker?
Is there an agent who's identifying all these kids that are immediately going to die so that this guy can look like a good person?
Can I get a few baldies?
Can I get a few bald kids here?
Make me look better.
Anyway, whoever's people are good because they keep dragging these dead beats and these bald head cancer kids so this guy can be a good person.
We do love him.
Steve will do it.
He's a so what is this?
What is this channel?
Steve will do it.
Steve will do it.
And he also has the that one, The Life of Steve.
The life of Steve.
And I think you guys should subscribe to it because he got, let's just go to.
Look at this.
I gave a kid with cancer the most epic day.
Go to this.
That's awesome.
How fucking cool is this?
That's really cool.
This is great.
What is this?
What's the most epic day?
Here we go.
Let's make happy that the kid drunk with cancer?
Get him fucked up.
Is he getting the kid a hooker?
And boys, tag us in your stories on pussy.
You must be 21 plus to buy and drink Happy Dad.
Okay, well, they're not advertising on our show, but they got a free ad now.
You better call Shahidi.
What is he doing?
Is that the kid with cancer?
Can we get to the cancer kid, please?
These videos like 45 minutes.
What's he doing?
Oh, here we go.
Am I the only black kid here?
Like, where's the lead?
You are the only black kid here.
Damn, do you fucking die?
He looks fine.
The kid's fine.
Oh, there's a girl.
Okay.
There's a party.
Good for him.
See, now what does he do for the kids?
Let's fast forward and see what he does for them.
Oh, he takes him in a helicopter.
Oh, he's buying him drift.
Fuck yeah.
And you know what's good about this, by the way?
After they die, the clothes will go right back.
I actually, no, he's actually a good guy.
We do like Steve.
He's doing really good stuff.
This is what people on the internet with money should do.
Take these kids out and have fun.
I mean, can we do that?
I mean, right?
We tried with the guy muscular dystrophy.
He's a fun guy, but then his nurse started smoking crack and everything.
I mean, nothing we try to do works.
No, Steve is legitimately a good person.
And this is really good.
And this is really good to think.
So good to see.
Go to Steve Will Do It on YouTube.
He's got almost 5 million subscribers.
Hit him again.
And these are his channels.
These are his channels.
Now Cappy Dad Full Sun Pod.
But we're just plugging Steve's.
So Steve will do it.
He's one of our favorites.
He paid me in a depreciating asset to do this, which I appreciate.
But it's coming back, right?
Winkle Vosses.
Get them on the fucking phone.
Oh, it is coming back a little bit.
It's 21.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, thank you, folks.
How about that?
TimDillonComedy.com.
Where will I be?
I'm going to be at the San Jose Improv January.
July 28th, 29th, and the 30th.
That is where I'll be.
We have five shows.
Tickets are selling out.
On August 7th, I'm going to be at the West Hampton Beach Pack Performing Arts Center with Ben Avery and Ray Cunt.
We're doing a live podcast in Long Island.
Thursday, August 11th, the 12th or the 13th.
I'm going to be in Salt Lake City, Utah.
And we're going to be at Wise Guys, one of my favorite clubs, Wise Guys Comedy Club, doing some stand-up comedy.
So if you want to grab tickets to San Jose or Salt Lake, that's awesome.
Also, West Hampton Pack, we're doing a live podcast in the summer in Long Island.
TimDylonComedy.com.
You can grab tickets.
We will also be releasing some merch eventually, not immediately, but it's coming.
A lot of people ask for some new fake business stuff and things like that.
We also have some other things being worked on.
We can say we're going to do the special is going to be out on Netflix sometime in August.
They have paid me a pittance of money, a very small amount that barely covers the shooting of it.
But they are in trouble.
They're in big trouble.
And they are now playing ball a little bit.
They haven't, you know, they're going to put it on as is without any content notes, really.
So that is cool.
So it'll be up there if you want to watch.
We also have more things happening all the time, which is phenomenal.
Lots of ideas kicking around.
Don't know which ones make the cut and which ones don't.
But we do have interesting things in the works, correct?
Yes.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Working on a book right now, tentatively titled The Boomer Guide to Parenting.
Some funny stories about my parents want to kind of release it before they both die.
Kind of get back at them.
It's just petty, vindictive book where I just settle scores with dead people.
Some of the people I'm talking about are dead in the book, but settling scores with dead people.
Louis C.K. told me that should be the subtitle of the book, settling scores with dead people.
That's great.
Not a bad idea.
Not the worst idea.
In California for a bit, back east.
Thanks to all of our friends at Gast Digital for letting us use that studio when we are in New York.
The great Louis Gomez, Ralph Sutton, Bobby Hutch, and others.
Support all the things on Gast Digital if you can.
They are a podcast network where I and many other podcasts have gotten their start and they're good friends of ours.
And we appreciate that.
And this is their website right here.
GastDigitalNetwork.com.
They have a lot of great shows.
Legion of Skanks, SDR, Real Ass Podcasts, Louis J. Gomez, and others.
There's Aaron Berg's on there, a lot of people.
So check that out if you can.
And we will see you either next week or we will see you on Patreon every Thursday.