The Tim Dillon Show - Tim Dillon vs The New York Post
Aired: 2022-05-25
Duration: 35:14


=== Defamed by the New York Post (07:37) ===

[00:00:20]  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a special edition of the Tim Dillon show.
[00:00:23]  I don't usually do this, but I have my attorney on Skype with me right now because this is a legal matter.
[00:00:31]  I am being defamed and slandered by the New York Post, my attorney, Ray Cump.
[00:00:37]  Please, because this is not a legal proceeding, but it's not a legal proceeding.
[00:00:42]  Please state your name and your law firm for the record.
[00:00:46]  This is Raymond Gerard Cump.
[00:00:49]  I represent Wolf Spool Legal Proceedings.
[00:00:56]  It's a firm out of Delaware.
[00:00:59]  And I want it to be known that we will be seeking every legal remedy in this heinous, egregious affront of the truth.
[00:01:10]  I am in contacts with the Hague, also private contractors.
[00:01:16]  This is an affront to your livelihood, to the basic tenets of.
[00:01:23]  I also, am I getting paid for this as a lawyer?
[00:01:27]  I need to get retained.
[00:01:29]  Here's the deal.
[00:01:30]  We want to catch everybody up to speed on this.
[00:01:32]  Ben, can you is your iPad going to lock up every five minutes?
[00:01:36]  Five seconds.
[00:01:39]  The New York Post just wrote an article about a house I bought in the Hamptons.
[00:01:42]  It is stemmed to Stern, completely all lies and fabrications.
[00:01:46]  Literally.
[00:01:47]  I mean, we're kidding.
[00:01:48]  Ray's not really a lawyer, but not yet.
[00:01:52]  That's true.
[00:01:54]  That being said, this article is all lies, Ray.
[00:01:59]  There's not almost not a single truth.
[00:02:02]  If you were trying to create this information, you wouldn't have this many lies in it.
[00:02:07]  I don't know what purpose it serves to lie.
[00:02:09]  I just hate lying like this.
[00:02:12]  It's stupid.
[00:02:13]  It says comedian Tim Dylan slaps down $4 million for a Hampton spread.
[00:02:18]  That is a headline of an article in the New York Post written by Jennifer Gould.
[00:02:22]  The house was listed for $2.6 million.
[00:02:26]  I bought the house for $2.55 million around there.
[00:02:32]  There is this huge change.
[00:02:35]  I did not slap.
[00:02:36]  No, it's a good amount of money, but I did not slap down $4 million.
[00:02:41]  That's a lie.
[00:02:42]  You know what they're doing there?
[00:02:44]  I don't know what they're doing.
[00:02:46]  They're alluding to your cock.
[00:02:47]  They're saying like you slapped it down like you're some fucking Me Too scumbag.
[00:02:52]  Did I have a four-inch cock I'm slapping around at the Hamptons?
[00:02:56]  But it's, by the way, this is the title of the article.
[00:02:59]  It's the headline.
[00:03:01]  The headline is comedian Tim Dillon slaps down $4 million.
[00:03:06]  So let's take this line by line.
[00:03:07]  Don't be surprised if you spot comedian podcast king, which again, stop.
[00:03:12]  There's only one podcast king.
[00:03:13]  We know who it is.
[00:03:16]  Mark Maron.
[00:03:17]  Now, kidding.
[00:03:19]  It's Adam Corolla.
[00:03:22]  Kidding again.
[00:03:24]  It's Ray.
[00:03:28]  This is gross.
[00:03:29]  They compare me heir to countercultural greats like George Carlin.
[00:03:32]  No one has ever said that.
[00:03:34]  The only thing is that I talk about society, so does he.
[00:03:37]  He's the greatest.
[00:03:39]  Well, I mean, George Carlin did on his deathbed kind of confer to you, like, you know, the responsibility for like a lot of people.
[00:03:46]  George Carlin would have loved houses in the Hamptons.
[00:03:48]  That was his whole big thing, right?
[00:03:49]  Real estate.
[00:03:52]  Recently closed on a $3.9 million Southampton home.
[00:03:55]  Lie down from his $4.5 million asking price.
[00:04:00]  Lie.
[00:04:02]  This is all lie.
[00:04:04]  It's insane to me.
[00:04:05]  The house is $2.5 million.
[00:04:08]  It's insane to lie about this.
[00:04:14]  They then say...
[00:04:15]  Also, Justin Tynes.
[00:04:19]  Yeah.
[00:04:19]  He goes, he owns homes in Beverly Hills in Austin, Texas.
[00:04:24]  I do not own a house in Beverly Hills.
[00:04:27]  That's crazy.
[00:04:28]  I don't own it.
[00:04:29]  I would love to.
[00:04:30]  I don't have $25 million.
[00:04:32]  That is a lie.
[00:04:33]  I do not own a home in Beverly Hills.
[00:04:35]  I do own a home in Austin.
[00:04:37]  Next on his list is Manhattan.
[00:04:39]  That is not true.
[00:04:40]  I have no plans to buy anything in Manhattan, probably ever.
[00:04:44]  You have told me on multiple occasions the method of which you would kill yourself before you lived in Manhattan.
[00:04:50]  Yes.
[00:04:50]  I'm not going back to Manhattan.
[00:04:54]  It also says that it's crazy.
[00:05:01]  They go.
[00:05:02]  He completed a World Wind comedy tour from France to Italy, all the major cities in Australia.
[00:05:08]  I have not ever performed comedy in France or Italy.
[00:05:15]  That was not on the tour at all.
[00:05:16]  Like that, it's completely untrue.
[00:05:20]  This article is basically mad lips.
[00:05:22]  It's mad lips.
[00:05:23]  It's just fill in the blank.
[00:05:26]  He's slapping four millions of dollars that I don't have.
[00:05:29]  He owns homes in Beverly Hill.
[00:05:31]  It's a complete lie.
[00:05:33]  It's trying to make me sound better, but it's all lies and fabrications.
[00:05:41]  Where is the part of it that says I started comedy in 2008?
[00:05:44]  Oh, and yeah.
[00:05:46]  Where is this?
[00:05:46]  Is that true?
[00:05:48]  Yeah, started doing comedy in 2008 following the economic crisis.
[00:05:50]  That's not true.
[00:05:52]  I started doing it in 2010, late 2010, almost 2011.
[00:05:56]  What I mean is that who, like, who does any of the fact-checking?
[00:06:01]  This is all fake.
[00:06:03]  This is more egregious than the Iraq war, like, you know, misinformation.
[00:06:09]  And more damaging.
[00:06:11]  Yeah.
[00:06:12]  But no, it's the, the idea here is that they just get a bunch of shit.
[00:06:17]  They don't fact-check it.
[00:06:18]  My realtor called me and said, do you mind if your information got leaked to the New York Post that you bought this house?
[00:06:27]  And I said, and she goes, I don't know how that happened.
[00:06:29]  And I wanted to say, well, I have a guess.
[00:06:31]  You called them and leaked it.
[00:06:33]  That's my guess.
[00:06:34]  Like every realtor ever leaks shit.
[00:06:37]  I'm not nearly famous enough where anyone would give a shit about where I live.
[00:06:42]  Who gives a fuck?
[00:06:43]  So I said to her, I don't think anyone will care if they got the info and they're printing a little dumb blurb.
[00:06:49]  I don't really give a shit.
[00:06:50]  Don't put my address in it, but I don't want a fucking article of lies.
[00:06:57]  This is, I mean, this isn't like a person who's trying to rebuild their career, right?
[00:07:02]  She's a realtor that was really hot back in the day and now is being displaced by the Instagram set of probably younger, more, you know, social media savvy set of realtors.
[00:07:21]  But she had a moment where she was number one.
[00:07:23]  She was the first really famous realtor out there, and she's got a great relationship with the press.
[00:07:30]  She's on TV all the time.
[00:07:32]  And, you know, she did a great job with the house.
[00:07:35]  But I don't know.
[00:07:36]  Is it her fault?
[00:07:37]  Is she feeding the post all this fake information?
[00:07:41]  I was the post getting this run.
[00:07:42]  She had a good run, too.
[00:07:43]  But, you know, what'd you say?
[00:07:45]  Fidel Castro had a good run also.
[00:07:47]  He had a great run.
[00:07:49]  That's different.
[00:07:51]  But, you know, look, is this her trying to spruce it up in her mind?
[00:07:55]  Like you know, like the all you know the fact.

=== The Fake Estate Scandal (06:21) ===

[00:07:58]  Oh, he was in France and Italy like some kind of like a, like some carnival barker yeah, it does kind of read like they're trying to dress me up.
[00:08:05]  They're like he slapped four million after a tour Alitalia of comedy.
[00:08:12]  He was in the Mediterranean doing comedy on boats, like it.
[00:08:16]  It's just so not researched and it's so weird and I don't know what role she had in it other than I imagine that's how they found out.
[00:08:27]  Which is everything she didn't like.
[00:08:29]  Say, you went, you like you have a house night.
[00:08:30]  Beat the.
[00:08:31]  Yeah, why not say that I spent 20 million dollars on a house in the Hamptons after uh, performing for the pope.
[00:08:41]  Like I had a private audience with the pope at Vatican City.
[00:08:45]  It's as true as this article this is.
[00:08:50]  They used the worst picture, the worst, and bet will put this picture up in a close-up.
[00:08:55]  It is the most disgusting photo i've ever taken.
[00:08:58]  It's almost like you'd want, if you don't hate me already.
[00:09:02]  You look at this photo and you go, I want him dead.
[00:09:04]  Yeah, which?
[00:09:05]  Which show is that from?
[00:09:07]  I I the Netflix thing I did maybe a couple of years ago.
[00:09:11]  I don't even know right, but they this shot.
[00:09:14]  You look like you look like you're like i'm drunk or something.
[00:09:16]  In this photo I look so disgusting, like you would hate.
[00:09:22]  And, by the way, they're showing a part of the Hamptons I don't live in.
[00:09:25]  I'm not near the beach, like it's all this.
[00:09:28]  You look like dad in family court, like look, I know I hit the kids.
[00:09:32]  I look like a dad in family court is realizing he doesn't really want visitation.
[00:09:36]  Right, what am I doing this all for?
[00:09:40]  But it's like I just don't know how they can get away with like lying like this.
[00:09:45]  Is that even is your?
[00:09:46]  Is your house even in that shot?
[00:09:47]  No, the shot is of like fucking estates.
[00:09:54]  Right, it's like rental lane.
[00:09:56]  That's Billionaire beach.
[00:09:58]  It's not at all what?
[00:10:00]  What is this?
[00:10:02]  What kind of game is this this?
[00:10:05]  This is uh, what do they call that?
[00:10:07]  The um hypernormalization.
[00:10:10]  This is them trying.
[00:10:11]  You know, trying.
[00:10:12]  It's like a Soviet level, you know, disinformation campaign just to create uh, you know, chaos about you should be.
[00:10:21]  Yeah, what if Adam Curtis started his next documentary with?
[00:10:24]  In 2022, a comedian bought a house in Southampton for 4.5 million dollars for 4.5 million dollars.
[00:10:35]  It wasn't immediately clear then, but a chain of events had taken place?
[00:10:39]  No, but I just don't know.
[00:10:41]  Do I have any recourse?
[00:10:42]  Can I sue anybody?
[00:10:43]  I mean, this is all.
[00:10:45]  This is complete insanity.
[00:10:47]  I mean look, you could definitely uh.
[00:10:49]  I mean look, I don't think defamation suits uh are typically ever won.
[00:10:54]  You're hard to win.
[00:10:55]  Dad may win one, he might get one, well right, but yeah, I mean, he's got a little different.
[00:11:01]  Uh yeah, I mean look, it would be nice if we got a six-week trial out of this.
[00:11:05]  Can we do that?
[00:11:06]  Will they cover it the same way as the Depp Hurd trial?
[00:11:09]  I don't think it's as exciting to people as Depp Heard.
[00:11:11]  That's real juicy and real entertaining.
[00:11:15]  What if I say she hit me?
[00:11:17]  The realtor?
[00:11:18]  Yeah.
[00:11:19]  I'll go on the stand.
[00:11:21]  I absolutely would love if you did that.
[00:11:25]  She put a cigarette out on my face.
[00:11:28]  She says, you're not allowed in this house.
[00:11:32]  She made me go to the toilet in the street.
[00:11:36]  I'm wondering how responsible is she for this and how responsible is the writer of the article?
[00:11:41]  Who should I be angry at?
[00:11:46]  There's no board of journalism, right?
[00:11:48]  Like there's no ethics committee.
[00:11:49]  There's no bar association, right?
[00:11:52]  Clearly not.
[00:11:52]  Clearly, you could just make shit up.
[00:11:55]  This is like worse than shattered glass, that movie where you're seeing Christensen.
[00:11:59]  This is like.
[00:12:01]  I just don't know why you just print the real shit.
[00:12:03]  Go, yeah, you bought a house for two and a half million bucks.
[00:12:05]  Don't they call you?
[00:12:07]  Why would they not, why would they lie and go, oh, it's, he's $4 million.
[00:12:11]  He's performing in France.
[00:12:12]  He owns a house in Beverly Hill.
[00:12:14]  None of this is true.
[00:12:15]  It's not accurate.
[00:12:17]  This isn't an expose.
[00:12:20]  My parents are calling me.
[00:12:21]  They're like, you own a house in Beverly Hills?
[00:12:23]  I'm like, no, it's fake.
[00:12:27]  I mean, it's like, I'm giving them more of a reason to hate me.
[00:12:30]  They're like worried because it's like, you know, during the mortgage days, I bought that house at foreclosed.
[00:12:35]  It's like these, all these articles are like, he owns 17 houses.
[00:12:39]  Everybody's like, he's going to go down.
[00:12:44]  They're like, oh, he's going to burn.
[00:12:45]  And it's like, yeah, it's untrue.
[00:12:47]  I own a house in Austin.
[00:12:48]  It's under a million bucks, cheap house.
[00:12:51]  And I bought this thing and that's it.
[00:12:53]  And then there's like this fucking insane idea that's going around that the one thing is I did dance the polka with snuffle up against on Sesame Street.
[00:13:03]  That's the one fucking thing they got right.
[00:13:06]  One thing they got right.
[00:13:08]  I mean, look, that's the do you even want that in the article?
[00:13:13]  I mean, like, one of the things in the article to actually even get right.
[00:13:15]  It's like, look, who cares?
[00:13:17]  But like, I mean, is this person like, are these things you told the realtor at some point?
[00:13:26]  No.
[00:13:27]  Like, oh, I was in France, like, you know, you know, for a visit.
[00:13:31]  And like, I don't think so.
[00:13:33]  This is like when you talk to a decrepit grandmother and it's like, you know, what are you doing?
[00:13:38]  Oh, yeah, you know, I've been doing, you know, you're the president of the company.
[00:13:43]  Like, no, I work in the mail room, grandma.
[00:13:45]  I mean, how does this work?
[00:13:46]  Like, be the writer from the post.
[00:13:48]  I'll be the realtor.
[00:13:50]  Hi.
[00:13:51]  Is this Tim Nillan?
[00:13:53]  No, this is his representative.
[00:13:55]  Hi, we'd like to ask, we have an article coming out about his house in the Hamptons, and we'd like to, you know, just fact check a few things.
[00:14:03]  Sure.
[00:14:04]  Did you know he's a billionaire?
[00:14:07]  We did not know.
[00:14:09]  Can we confirm, is he friends with Salaman al-Al Abdiz of Saudi Arabia?
[00:14:14]  Do you know?
[00:14:15]  Not only is he friends, do you know that he is in line to the throne of Saudi Arabia?

=== Burning the Realtor Like an Agent (07:36) ===

[00:14:20]  Very, very good.
[00:14:21]  It's Mohammed bin Salman and then him.
[00:14:25]  That's what it is.
[00:14:26]  I'm just, I'm kind of pissed off that it's lies.
[00:14:30]  I wanted to put out a video with you talking about it.
[00:14:33]  You think I should go real scorched earth on these people, which maybe I should.
[00:14:36]  I think, look, I'm saying the realtor, I would love to just tear into this person.
[00:14:42]  And, you know, this is the idea.
[00:14:44]  She thinks she's going to rebuild her career on the back on your back.
[00:14:48]  I don't know if she's rebuilding her career.
[00:14:50]  I think she has a fine career.
[00:14:52]  No, none of I have anything to say about it.
[00:14:58]  I think this is just the way they play the game.
[00:15:01]  They leak shit and it's lies.
[00:15:03]  It's all lies.
[00:15:04]  They just did it to Trevor Noah in L.A.
[00:15:06]  It's lies.
[00:15:08]  What do they say about him?
[00:15:09]  I don't know.
[00:15:10]  They lied about the price.
[00:15:11]  They lied about everything.
[00:15:13]  But they were right that he bites children, right?
[00:15:15]  That was true.
[00:15:17]  The thing about him biting children was a one-time thing where a mother brought her child and said, please bite him.
[00:15:25]  And Trevor Noah finally agreed to it for a picture.
[00:15:29]  But Trevor bit too hard and the kids started bleeding and screaming.
[00:15:34]  But the mother thought that was a better picture.
[00:15:37]  So she said, keep going, keep going.
[00:15:40]  It was in Penn Station outside of where they do the orange, Julius.
[00:15:43]  And Trevor got caught up in the moment.
[00:15:45]  They go, keep going, keep going.
[00:15:46]  So he kept biting and the kid was squirming and he was bleeding.
[00:15:49]  And they took a photo.
[00:15:50]  But again, it's not a big deal.
[00:15:52]  But I'm just mad about the lies.
[00:15:55]  No, you deserve better.
[00:15:57]  I mean, look, I know the New York Post is a little bit more.
[00:16:00]  Should we go to every open house this woman does with bombs strapped to ourselves?
[00:16:04]  No, I'm asking.
[00:16:06]  I'm asking if we should go to every open house with bombs strapped to ourselves.
[00:16:10]  I don't see how there's any other way.
[00:16:13]  So what about if two guys that look like us walk to every open house and go, we used to live here?
[00:16:18]  Because that might just kill every deal.
[00:16:20]  If me and you, let's say we stood outside every open house and said, we used to live here and we fucked in every room of this house.
[00:16:27]  Every inch of this house.
[00:16:29]  I walk up to like the woman and I'm like, hey, I used to live here.
[00:16:32]  I know it's a really good hiding place.
[00:16:37]  And you go like this.
[00:16:38]  You go like this.
[00:16:39]  You look at her and you go, property like this, listen.
[00:16:41]  You got property like this.
[00:16:43]  Really keep you safe.
[00:16:45]  Keep you safe and warm.
[00:16:47]  Because it's scary out there.
[00:16:50]  I still have the keys.
[00:16:54]  My keys always work in this lock.
[00:16:56]  Listen to me.
[00:16:58]  I don't know what we should do.
[00:16:59]  How to enact revenge.
[00:17:01]  I mean, showing up to the open houses with bombs strapped to ourselves, telling people we used to live in the house and fuck there.
[00:17:08]  I thought about making you into this really high net worth buyer and trying to fake documents and pre-approvals.
[00:17:16]  And then when the woman saw you, she would kill herself.
[00:17:20]  Like she flies like a private jet to you.
[00:17:23]  And then when you come out on the tarmac, she just decides none of it's worth it and she takes her own life.
[00:17:29]  I mean, I'm down because I'll try to embezzle the money out of the situation myself.
[00:17:33]  You're not going to get any money out of this situation.
[00:17:36]  It's just the satisfaction of a job well done.
[00:17:39]  No, I'm talking about embezzling.
[00:17:41]  I can screw the bank out of something.
[00:17:43]  Yes.
[00:17:45]  Here's my whole thing.
[00:17:46]  I'm just wondering how we can get back at these people.
[00:17:49]  I think we need to get away from it.
[00:17:50]  I think we can get a legal way.
[00:17:53]  Look, we got to name names and we have to document and go after her.
[00:17:57]  I mean, what was I telling you in the car when you were talking about burner?
[00:18:00]  We got to burn her like a foreign agent, you know?
[00:18:05]  She's got to come in from the cold.
[00:18:07]  What do they do to foreign agents?
[00:18:10]  I'm saying, you know, when we leave a country, you know, like in Vietnam, we had all the spies in Vietnam.
[00:18:17]  Like, you know, we burned all those agents.
[00:18:19]  They all got killed by the.
[00:18:20]  What about if you make a complaint with the real estate board in New York saying she called you the N-word?
[00:18:26]  Would you do that?
[00:18:27]  100%.
[00:18:28]  And take it full like you take it.
[00:18:29]  This did happen.
[00:18:30]  So why wouldn't it?
[00:18:32]  She did say it to you, didn't she?
[00:18:33]  No, she said to me multiple times.
[00:18:35]  She said, you fat.
[00:18:36]  N-word.
[00:18:37]  N-word.
[00:18:38]  Any open house.
[00:18:39]  Right.
[00:18:40]  And it was unprovoked.
[00:18:41]  She literally just walked up to you and said, you fat N-word.
[00:18:44]  In front of a very nice black family, which I was so embarrassed on the show.
[00:18:48]  They also started calling you the N-word.
[00:18:51]  It just became a commotion.
[00:18:53]  And the guy looked at you and he goes, it's about power.
[00:18:56]  And it was very interesting.
[00:18:58]  But how do we do it?
[00:18:59]  I mean, do we, I don't know.
[00:19:02]  I mean, I think we need to make a documentary about this situation, and we're going to get the guy from September 9-11 to September 11th to New Pearl Harbor to help us with this, perhaps.
[00:19:16]  Yeah, I mean, should we just start today, because it was a horrible tragedy where 14 school students, school students were killed.
[00:19:26]  Should we donate a bunch of money in her name to the NRA and start tweeting at her, the NRA loves this realtor?
[00:19:35]  That's golden.
[00:19:35]  Yeah.
[00:19:36]  That's not a fact.
[00:19:37]  Like just today, like the NRA loves Dolly today.
[00:19:40]  Should I start a Twitter handle and her, like, you know, as her and just start, you know, saying how can we impersonate?
[00:19:50]  Can we impersonate?
[00:19:51]  Yes.
[00:19:51]  Yes.
[00:19:52]  Tweet Zelensky's a coward from her.
[00:19:54]  But can we give her a fake Twitter handle where we tweet this, quote, I don't care what happened in Texas.
[00:20:01]  My rights are my rights.
[00:20:04]  And then just repeat, like keep tweeting that.
[00:20:06]  And then we'll tweet all her listings.
[00:20:08]  Like, can we tweet like one of her listings?
[00:20:11]  And then right after it, we'll tweet like QAnon stuff.
[00:20:14]  And then, you know, lovely three bedroom by Central Park.
[00:20:17]  You have to get this gun out of my cold, dead pussy.
[00:20:21]  Am I overreacting here?
[00:20:24]  No, I think you're underreacting.
[00:20:26]  I think this needs to go federal.
[00:20:28]  I think we need to, you know, international even.
[00:20:31]  I mean, look, this is a person who has their hooks into all sorts of, you know, little dirty pots.
[00:20:37]  And we need to explain.
[00:20:38]  By the way, what if we are both served with lawsuits like tomorrow morning?
[00:20:43]  She's like, you two fat fucks don't even know what you're doing.
[00:20:47]  You're out of your depth.
[00:20:49]  She goes, I'll kill both of you myself.
[00:20:54]  I sell condos to tyrants.
[00:21:01]  She goes, I text Vladimir Putin once a week.
[00:21:06]  I'll have you both killed.
[00:21:08]  That's very foreseeable.
[00:21:10]  It's not completely impossible.
[00:21:12]  Because what do they do?
[00:21:13]  Otherwise, what do they do except have that kind of poll where they have like Putin on speed dial?
[00:21:18]  That's the only reason you would be a specialist.
[00:21:20]  But you don't think they do this to the genocidal monster too?
[00:21:23]  You don't think there's some fucking guy in Saudi Arabia sitting around going, they say 80 million, I spent 65.
[00:21:31]  Oh, no, she burned Chavez, I'm sure.
[00:21:34]  Yeah, like I'm sure they leaked these people's information.
[00:21:38]  The oligarchs are not happy with these people.
[00:21:42]  I only killed three dozen people that day.
[00:21:47]  The lies.
[00:21:49]  I don't know, man.
[00:21:51]  I have makeup on because I just did a cool thing with Rick Rubin.
[00:21:53]  It'll be coming out.

=== Accusing Her of Selling Heroin (11:54) ===

[00:21:56]  But as my attorney, you know, I think the courts are probably not the right way to handle this.
[00:22:02]  There's got to be a way to handle it that allows us, you know, to get creative.
[00:22:12]  I think we, can we convince her to do like the cinnamon challenge?
[00:22:16]  Hear me out.
[00:22:17]  I tell her a friend of mine is dying of an incurable disease.
[00:22:23]  He has a few weeks left to live.
[00:22:26]  He just wants to see this listing you have on Central Park.
[00:22:31]  He's never looked out of a window on Central Park.
[00:22:35]  He just wants to look because maybe he used to live there and his family lost all their money.
[00:22:39]  Whatever.
[00:22:40]  It doesn't matter.
[00:22:40]  He just, for his dying wish, he just wants to look out this window one time and we get her to agree to it.
[00:22:45]  And then you get up in the apartment and you start shitting everywhere and rubbing your shirt on the walls.
[00:22:51]  I start acting like I'm going to like anaphylactic shock.
[00:22:57]  I just thought like a whirling dervish through this like you get in and you start going, hell Satan.
[00:23:06]  Yeah, I just don't like that everything about it's a lie.
[00:23:10]  And I have people, my friends, family calling me going, is this true?
[00:23:14]  Is this true?
[00:23:15]  And I go, it's wrong.
[00:23:15]  It's wrong.
[00:23:16]  It's wrong.
[00:23:16]  It's all wrong.
[00:23:18]  I mean, the one thing they're supposed to do is like a good salesman, like they remember the name of your kids.
[00:23:25]  Yeah.
[00:23:25]  And like, you know, what your wife does for a living.
[00:23:27]  I'm like, the stuff that makes you feel like whatever, like warm.
[00:23:32]  Like, oh, this person knows me.
[00:23:34]  Like those little, like the Dale Carnegie craft, right?
[00:23:37]  And like, she's just like blurting this stuff.
[00:23:39]  Yeah, I think he was in France.
[00:23:41]  Yeah.
[00:23:42]  He fucks Nephilophagus.
[00:23:44]  I don't know what it is.
[00:23:45]  I don't know if it's dementia.
[00:23:46]  I don't know if it's just a complete, utter no care for the truth.
[00:23:52]  Doubling the price of the house.
[00:23:54]  Like, what is this?
[00:23:57]  She's just, she's flexing.
[00:23:59]  I don't know, man.
[00:24:00]  It's a weird flex.
[00:24:01]  I'm not famous like that, and no one gives a shit what I do.
[00:24:05]  So it's such a weird fucking article.
[00:24:08]  Maybe they felt like.
[00:24:09]  She might not understand the internet.
[00:24:11]  Like, she thinks you're like Logan Paul famous.
[00:24:13]  I don't know what, maybe, but maybe they think that if they don't lie about me, no one will care.
[00:24:18]  So they just start lying.
[00:24:19]  They're like, he's the biggest comedian in France.
[00:24:23]  And he just spent $9 million on a boat in Southampton.
[00:24:26]  It's like all lies.
[00:24:29]  He owns the Beverly Center.
[00:24:33]  I mean, it's just complete lies.
[00:24:36]  It's unfortunate.
[00:24:37]  And I appreciate you being here to help me correct the record.
[00:24:41]  No, of course.
[00:24:42]  I mean, you know, this is an affront that will not be tolerated.
[00:24:45]  Will not be stood.
[00:24:46]  How long have we done, Ben here?
[00:24:47]  About 25.
[00:24:49]  Yeah, this is 25 minutes.
[00:24:50]  We're not going to go on too much longer.
[00:24:52]  I mean, the reality is we just wanted to correct the record.
[00:24:55]  We've got a great episode coming out this week, and I appreciate it.
[00:25:00]  We brainstorm some ways, and we'll figure out one of them that's appropriate.
[00:25:08]  Can you not hear me?
[00:25:10]  No, yeah.
[00:25:10]  I know it was a question.
[00:25:12]  Are you not going to respond at all?
[00:25:15]  You're not responding at all.
[00:25:17]  Well, no.
[00:25:18]  Okay.
[00:25:18]  No, look, you're staring at me.
[00:25:24]  You know what I want to do.
[00:25:26]  I want to get her hands dirty.
[00:25:29]  You want a war.
[00:25:31]  You want an Airbnb level lesbian Airbnb war.
[00:25:35]  Look, did they ever screw you over again?
[00:25:37]  No.
[00:25:38]  I'm off Airbnb.
[00:25:39]  Well, look, that's collateral damage.
[00:25:41]  I know.
[00:25:42]  But I'll tell you this.
[00:25:43]  I get what you're saying.
[00:25:45]  I'm unhappy.
[00:25:47]  Right.
[00:25:47]  I'm unhappy with this.
[00:25:50]  Sunlight is the greatest disinfectant.
[00:25:53]  That's right.
[00:25:54]  So I think we need to leave her out in the.
[00:25:57]  Never mind.
[00:26:01]  I didn't want to say that.
[00:26:03]  She's a very well-connected woman.
[00:26:05]  So I don't know what she had to do with this.
[00:26:08]  I am not.
[00:26:09]  I don't know that it's her fault.
[00:26:13]  You haven't talked to her yet, have you?
[00:26:15]  No, but I don't know if it's her fault.
[00:26:17]  Let's call her right now.
[00:26:18]  She's very good at her job.
[00:26:19]  That'll be a legal thing.
[00:26:22]  That'll be a legal.
[00:26:23]  I mean, right, Ben?
[00:26:25]  Yeah, that'll be an absolute legal thing.
[00:26:28]  You know, it'll be a legal thing for sure.
[00:26:32]  Look, I'm just saying that, you know, if I have my way, you're going to be having more than one house in the Hamptons sooner rather than later.
[00:26:41]  This is going to go, this is going to be very, very good for both of us.
[00:26:45]  Yeah, well, I don't even know what that means, but I want to go on record right now.
[00:26:54]  I have no idea what that means.
[00:26:56]  I just hate that my friends and family, the few of them I have, are calling me going, wait, what is all of this?
[00:27:03]  And I'm like, they're like, did you lie to us?
[00:27:04]  You said the price was this.
[00:27:05]  I'm like, no, I didn't lie to you.
[00:27:07]  They just make shit.
[00:27:07]  How do you lie to them?
[00:27:08]  Like, what are you doing?
[00:27:10]  Yeah, remember that Trump worked for Russia for two years and then reversed themselves on that.
[00:27:15]  Like, they lie.
[00:27:16]  They make shit up.
[00:27:17]  I don't know what's going on.
[00:27:18]  No, but I'm saying your family, like, is this an insane question?
[00:27:21]  It's just so funny.
[00:27:21]  Like, your family, hey, are you lying about how much you spend?
[00:27:24]  Like, what fuck you?
[00:27:25]  You just think I'm lying about everything.
[00:27:26]  You think I'm lying about everything?
[00:27:27]  We have an article come out in the New York Post.
[00:27:29]  People go, oh, yeah, he's lying.
[00:27:31]  Right.
[00:27:32]  He's a liar.
[00:27:33]  And it's a complete fabricated article other than the fact that I bought a house in the Hamptons.
[00:27:38]  But it's complete fabric.
[00:27:40]  Everything's complete fabrication.
[00:27:42]  I mean, I don't know how the New York Post.
[00:27:45]  This was a disaster, by the way, this whole entire process.
[00:27:48]  Like, she was very good at negotiating the deal.
[00:27:51]  You know, this woman, but I don't know what happened with this.
[00:27:55]  I'm not happy about this.
[00:27:57]  She's a great deal maker, but I'm really unhappy with this for sure.
[00:28:04]  And I'm the worst PR since the O.J. Simpson trial.
[00:28:07]  I mean, it's just, it's lies.
[00:28:08]  So lies are not good, right?
[00:28:10]  People lying about you to make you look better or make you look worse.
[00:28:14]  I don't know what this makes me look like.
[00:28:16]  Like, it looks like I'm a member of the Rama Rockefeller.
[00:28:19]  It's crazy.
[00:28:20]  This is the kind of thing that could bite you in the ass just because it's like it's public information.
[00:28:23]  It's like it was in the paper of record or whatever.
[00:28:26]  I'm like, yeah, now you're trying to like, you know, you're trying to get some kind of work visa for like, you know, whatever it is.
[00:28:33]  I mean, by the way, does the IRS or whoever not go?
[00:28:35]  Right.
[00:28:36]  Yeah.
[00:28:36]  Like, what the fuck?
[00:28:37]  You bought this house.
[00:28:38]  They go, oh, well, it says here you spend this.
[00:28:40]  I'm like, dude, it's two and a half million bucks.
[00:28:42]  It's not $4 million.
[00:28:45]  No, she's.
[00:28:45]  It's a house and it's nice, but it's not a spread.
[00:28:48]  This idea, oh, Planks, $4 million for Hampton spread.
[00:28:52]  It's crazy.
[00:28:53]  Is it possible that she's using you as some kind of money laundering scheme?
[00:29:02]  She's trying to, like, she on her end, she's saying $4.5 million.
[00:29:06]  She's got these, you know, bricks of heroin moving through your house.
[00:29:11]  You know, some, some kind of scheme like that.
[00:29:13]  I don't know if we should immediately go to accusing her of selling heroin.
[00:29:17]  Well, we didn't name names yet, so it's fine.
[00:29:23]  The reality is this: everybody in this world is litigious, Raymond.
[00:29:28]  You know that.
[00:29:29]  Like, I'm just speculating on what possibly could be.
[00:29:32]  Is it possible she's selling heroin?
[00:29:34]  Yes.
[00:29:35]  No, I don't think it's true.
[00:29:41]  Ray Cump, where do the people find you if they want to find you?
[00:29:44]  Please check out yourself.
[00:29:45]  If they want to find you.
[00:29:47]  The Cump podcast is available on YouTube and wherever you get podcasts.
[00:29:51]  It's hilarious.
[00:29:52]  You also check out my Patreon.
[00:29:53]  It's patreon.com slash Raycump.
[00:29:57]  You can get an extra episode every week for five bucks a week.
[00:29:59]  You want to have a cigarette?
[00:30:00]  No, five bucks a month.
[00:30:00]  Can you smoke in your house?
[00:30:02]  I cannot.
[00:30:03]  No.
[00:30:04]  It would be a problem.
[00:30:06]  What do you mean?
[00:30:06]  You live in a Brooklyn dump.
[00:30:08]  I mean, I guess I could.
[00:30:09]  I mean, there's like fire extinguishers in here.
[00:30:12]  Although one time I did.
[00:30:13]  They don't work.
[00:30:14]  Ray, they don't work.
[00:30:15]  That's for show.
[00:30:16]  They're not real.
[00:30:18]  One time, like I had a huge pot.
[00:30:21]  Yeah, we almost burned down the kitchen and it didn't go off.
[00:30:25]  So your apartment is what?
[00:30:27]  $20,000 a month?
[00:30:28]  That's nothing.
[00:30:32]  You live in the financial district.
[00:30:34]  You pay $20,000 a month and you earn that money coaching gymnastics.
[00:30:42]  That's the way.
[00:30:42]  No, this is the New York Post writer.
[00:30:48]  My foray into high society ended very quickly.
[00:30:53]  Yeah, I mean, this is a real, real rude awakening.
[00:30:58]  Can't they just be honest?
[00:31:01]  True.
[00:31:02]  This is why we need a disinformation board, right?
[00:31:08]  Perhaps.
[00:31:08]  I disbanded that.
[00:31:10]  Quick question while I finish the cigarette.
[00:31:12]  What do you think about the school shootings?
[00:31:15]  I'm against it.
[00:31:17]  I don't support it.
[00:31:18]  I think it's heinous.
[00:31:20]  It's a heinous crime.
[00:31:21]  It's horrible.
[00:31:26]  At this point, it's not even like what are we going to do about it?
[00:31:31]  Let's live.
[00:31:33]  That's that's look.
[00:31:35]  I mean, the reality is you'd like to say we're going to do something about it.
[00:31:38]  I see people tweeting and they're like, you know, we're going to do something.
[00:31:42]  And just be like, you know, it's just routine now, which is crazy.
[00:31:47]  I mean, I had, should we even report them anymore?
[00:31:50]  I was talking about this on my podcast last week.
[00:31:52]  I was spatty pampered.
[00:31:54]  That's a great joke.
[00:31:54]  He goes, there are so many shootings, they bore me.
[00:32:00]  But should we even talk?
[00:32:01]  Like, it's a bold idea.
[00:32:03]  But what if we just never reported them?
[00:32:06]  Would they get out of people's system?
[00:32:08]  That's the good point, Ray.
[00:32:10]  Thank you.
[00:32:11]  Because I feel like at some level, even if we don't, like, we don't, we don't name them a lot anymore, the people who do it, but like, it's still like you mug it into the zeitgeist.
[00:32:20]  We name them all.
[00:32:21]  You mean we name them a lot.
[00:32:22]  We name them all.
[00:32:24]  I thought we stopped.
[00:32:25]  I thought they stopped printing their names.
[00:32:27]  We name every one.
[00:32:28]  Well, we shouldn't.
[00:32:29]  We should pretend it didn't happen.
[00:32:31]  I know.
[00:32:31]  I don't know if you shot all those people in Texas.
[00:32:33]  I just followed him on TikTok.
[00:32:36]  Is he good?
[00:32:37]  He's not bad.
[00:32:39]  Follow him.
[00:32:40]  I need to get on TikTok more.
[00:32:42]  I'm kidding.
[00:32:42]  I didn't follow him on TikTok, everybody.
[00:32:46]  No, but like, I mean, the problem is.
[00:32:48]  What's the special thing?
[00:32:49]  It'll be out.
[00:32:50]  How long do you think it'll take Ben to put this at?
[00:32:51]  Seven, eight days to correct the record here?
[00:32:54]  Take him seven, eight days.
[00:32:56]  Well, the audio isn't really thanked that, man.
[00:32:59]  Yeah, Jamie.
[00:33:01]  He's like, Jamie and Joe.
[00:33:05]  Well, I don't know what to say anymore.
[00:33:07]  I'm just fed up with the lies.
[00:33:09]  Well, I'll start some prayers.
[00:33:10]  Go out to the families affected by this article.
[00:33:15]  Right.
[00:33:16]  That's right.
[00:33:17]  That's right.
[00:33:18]  I think it's the most pressing issue in the country today.
[00:33:20]  And that's why.
[00:33:24]  It would be interesting.
[00:33:25]  People are going to see like a special edition of Tim Dylan's show, and they're going to assume it's about one thing, but it's really about clearing up this real estate hurtle.
[00:33:35]  Yeah, no, it's not.
[00:33:37]  What am I going to do with the shootings?
[00:33:38]  I can't.
[00:33:40]  What am I going to do?
[00:33:42]  What am I going to do?
[00:33:43]  I got to get some shoes with realtors running their mouths.
[00:33:47]  I can't get involved with the weapons industry.

=== Clearing Up the Real Estate Hurtle (01:23) ===

[00:33:51]  Yeah, it's a little too much to chew off with the expression.
[00:33:55]  No, it isn't.
[00:33:56]  Ray Cump, everyone.
[00:33:57]  My attorney from, what was it?
[00:33:59]  Woolworth?
[00:34:00]  Where did you say you were from?
[00:34:01]  Woolworth?
[00:34:02]  In the beginning?
[00:34:03]  I think I said Wolfspool.
[00:34:05]  Wolfspool.
[00:34:08]  It's like a word you can't even say.
[00:34:10]  I'm from Wolf Spool.
[00:34:13]  It's like you're Amber Heard's third chair.
[00:34:16]  They're like, it's not going well.
[00:34:17]  Who we're bringing on?
[00:34:18]  They're like, we brought on this guy from Wolfspool.
[00:34:22]  Listen to me.
[00:34:23]  He's a dumb whore, but so is he.
[00:34:27]  Who are you, sir?
[00:34:28]  Raymond Cump Esquire, Wolfspool.
[00:34:32]  I worked with Wolf Spool legal.
[00:34:34]  The name was Wolf Spool Legal Proceedings.
[00:34:37]  It sounds like a part of a Primerica, which like literally they just exist to rob people in like bad areas.
[00:34:45]  They put these like fake financial centers with brochures.
[00:34:48]  And they're like, debt is good.
[00:34:49]  And like literally in the corner of their office, there's something that says wolf spool legal proceedings.
[00:34:56]  And you're just sitting sweating, eating a blimpy sandwich.
[00:34:59]  And someone walks in and they're like, I haven't seen my daughter in three years.
[00:35:03]  And you're like, I can change that, bunny.
[00:35:06]  Sit down.
[00:35:08]  Ray Kump, everyone.
[00:35:09]  Good luck, everyone.
[00:35:10]  Don't tell your realtor shit.
[00:35:13]  Good night.