This week Tim talks the cult obsession over Tesla and Elon Musk, nearly getting sucked into a New York apartment scam, and goes off on people who can't stop talking about how they beat the virus. Bonus Episodes every week:▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshowOFFICIAL MERCHANDISE▶▶ https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-tim-dillon-show/▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: 🩳 UNDERWEAR:Order with PROMO CODE Tim30 to save 30%▶▶ https://www.sheathunderwear.com/🔒 VPN:Get three months free▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon🥣 CEREAL:Use code TimDillon for free shipping!▶▶ https://magicspoon.com/timdillon🔵 BLUE CHEW :Use promo TD▶▶ https://bluechew.com/🤖 MANSCAPED:Use code TIMD▶▶ https://www.manscaped.com/👨🦱 HAIR LOSS:▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon📦 SHIPPING:Enter code TIMDILLON▶▶ https://www.shipstation.com/🎧 HEADPHONES:For 15% off!▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim🤳 COLOGNE AND SKINCARE:Use code TIM▶▶ https://hawthorne.co/🛏️ BEDS:▶▶ https://helixsleep.com/timdillon🚗 INSURANCE:▶▶ https://gabi.com/timdillon🚬 QUIT SMOKING:Use code TIM:▶▶ https://lucy.co⚓ NICK DAVIS'S PODCAST (BELOW DECK)▶▶ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/another-below-deck-podcast/id1216741721💆THERAPY▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD📦 BOX OF AWESOME▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃:📸 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/🐦 Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!:http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows📹 Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbgListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahonbenavery33@gmail.comhttps://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬#TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
Banned From Airbnb00:13:00
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show.
So much to cover this week.
As many of you know, I have been banned from Airbnb.
I am no longer allowed to conduct business using the app Air BNB.
I cannot rent property using Airbnb.
I cannot take a property to market with Airbnb.
I received a notification from Airbnb that said, and we will read it for you right now, that I believe that I was in violation of one of their safety practices, all stemming from an event where I rented a property in Joshua Tree.
And you didn't delete it, did you?
I probably did.
I think you did.
I did delete it.
Let me check your Instagram.
I deleted it there too.
It's a tough week on social media to be pushing buttons.
This is not the week on social media to be testing the waters, as they say.
Big tech is ready to paint with a broad brush.
They are ready.
So I might put something up for a minute and then it might be gone.
And you might go, why is he doing that?
Why is he being a pussy?
I'm being a pussy so that we can all have nice things for a while.
And we want to have an Instagram page.
We want a Twitter account.
We want all of these things.
For as long as we can have them, we would like them.
Thank you.
So sometimes we have to put something up for a minute and go, you see?
And then yank it and get it out of there.
So that's what I had to do, unfortunately.
These are the times we're living in.
But let's go through the facts here because the fact, and I don't want any harm to come to these two women, I don't like that they are liars.
I don't like people that misrepresent the facts and do so in a way that I cannot defend myself because there was no process on Airbnb for me to do that.
They just unilaterally removed me from their service.
And this is unfortunate because for the inauguration, I wanted to rent a bunch of houses in Washington, D.C. Because a lot of my friends wanted to go down there and congratulate Joe Biden.
And we were trying to get a bunch of homes down there in the surrounding area in what was what some of my friends were calling the blast zone.
But they just wanted these, they wanted to get in.
And I, so that's sad, right?
Amazing.
But we rented an Airbnb and Joshua Tree.
It was very expensive, but we got a good deal on it.
See, so much out there, people speculate as to what's really going on.
They don't have any of the facts.
And I understand.
That's what they have to do, right?
But Airbnb is if you book them a few hours before they stop accepting bookings for that period, you usually get a good deal.
So we got this Airbnb for less than half of what it was.
Okay.
I went in there with Ben, with Ray, and with Lucy, Ray's girlfriend.
We were there at one night to just, they had never seen the desert.
They're simple people.
I just wanted to show them the desert.
We found an Airbnb that I thought was pretty cool.
I had contacted the hosts.
They were very aggressive at getting me in there.
They said, well, we're getting another offer for tonight, which was a lie.
They were lying.
They needed the money.
They need the money.
This is the reality.
We stayed there.
We made a meal.
We've covered that at nauseum.
If you want, you can go back to the last episode and go through what we cooked.
And we left dishes in the sink.
That's all we did.
And now on Joe Rogan, by the way, when Yannis Papas went on Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan's like, who I love, but is like kind of saying, well, you should have cleaned the dishes because that what?
What's that?
What's that about?
That's not punk rock.
First of all, you pay a $400 cleaning fee, which I assumed was for cleaning.
You see, that's why I paid the fee.
All you had to do was wash dishes.
A $400 should really give me license to like fuck up the whole house.
Not permanently, but I should be able to have pillow fights and throw comforters off beds.
And it's $400 for that.
And then there's like, well, it's really for COVID cleaning.
Okay.
It's like, yeah, we know that's scam.
It should.
COVID cleaning and cleaning.
It's the same cleaning, by the way.
You're cleaning.
You're disinfecting.
Nothing's happening in a regular cleaning and a COVID cleaning.
What are you doing?
So I had paid that money.
Now, after the Airbnb transaction is over, before the different parties, the renters and the people who've rented write reviews, there's supposed to be no contact.
There's not supposed to be contact.
These two witches, one of them texted me and said, hope you had a great time.
Our cleaning crew had a little bit of a stroke.
LOL.
LOL.
Please give us a five-star review so we can stay on Airbnb.
I was going to do that anyway because I'm not a rat, even though I wasn't in love with the accommodations.
I don't, I've stayed in Airbnbs that were dumps.
I never, ever give anyone really less than five stars.
I don't think I've ever done it.
Truly, you can look at my Airbnb.
I haven't.
Everything I give is five stars.
I never want to fuck up anyone's business with my own whatever.
Let people figure it out the way I figured out this place was a dump.
I don't owe you anything out there.
I don't like to, that's why I hate all this crowdsourced, you know, reviewing and Yelp and this, that, and the other things.
None of it matters.
I don't trust you on yet.
I don't trust the masses.
I don't trust the public to give something five stars.
And then I walk in and go, oh, this sucks.
You know, what else has the public made popular that sucked?
Everything.
So I don't trust them.
So I just say, five stars, keep going on with your business.
Let somebody else figure out that this place is a dump.
The way I did.
I don't care.
So I give them a five-star review.
They trash me.
They trash me.
Say I was a bad guest.
And then they start lying.
They said I broke their stools.
They have these modern stools with concrete slabs that are connected.
I put some of these photos up on Instagram.
These are, before I deleted them, these are not.
This is not furniture that you can even break because it's not furniture.
Number one, these are art pieces scattered throughout a house.
It's more of a gallery than a house.
They said that I broke a cactus.
When we walked in, the cactus was all falling all over the floor.
How do you break a cactus?
What do you think I'm doing?
Taking the cactus with the spikes and snapping it while my hands bleed?
You dumb cunts.
What do you even imagine I am doing?
How do you even break a cactus?
What do you think I'm doing?
Trying to sit on it?
Maybe that was it.
Maybe I thought it was one of your chairs.
So they're lying about what happened.
They're saying I destroyed their property.
Then I texted them because I was upset.
I was not, I was upset.
And I texted them that I texted them that kind of that I was going to burn their house down.
I said, I hope nothing happens to your property, which was that, but I do hope that nothing happens.
I was being nice to them.
I was saying, I hope nothing happens.
And then she said, are you threatening me?
And then I said, we'll see what happens because I'm not threatening you, but we'll see what happens.
And then I sent her a GIF or a GIF, how they call it, with The Simpsons house burning.
You know, The Simpsons house burns.
This is all good fun.
We're having fun.
I'm a joker and we're having a good time.
And these women probably reported this to Airbnb and they got me kicked off of Airbnb.
These two women.
They broke a contract, a social contract that I had with them.
They asked me to do something.
I didn't.
Okay.
I did not ask them to give me a high rating.
Maybe I should have, but they gave me not only a low rating, they trashed me and lied about what happened.
And now I'm no longer allowed to use Airbnb.
I'm not, I don't have any dealings with these women.
I don't care about these women, Jonah and Mila.
I just, those are your names.
You trashed me on a public forum.
So I came on my podcast, which is listened to by hundreds of thousands of people.
And some of them maybe, I don't know what happened.
I don't know what happened.
Maybe they sent you a few little messages, having a good time.
What you did was you dishonest and wrong and you're hurting my ability to conduct business.
And I have to speak publicly about this because I have a platform.
It's not my fault that you two don't have a platform.
You know what I mean?
Maybe spend less time eating each other's pussies, drinking out of your tea collection and passionately supporting Elizabeth Warren.
I don't know what you're doing, but all I'm trying to say is this.
You can't get me for being homophobic because I'm also gay.
You should have a faggot like me walk through it and let you people know how wrong you are about every design choice you've made in your home.
It is an uncomfortable, sterile, doctor's office-like environment that is only fit for weird, sexless dykes to sit around and fucking drink chamomile tea and talk about how much they want to munch Elizabeth Warren's box.
That's all that house is for.
And I'm sorry that I came in there with love and light and I infused your home with a little character.
And I'm sorry that you are shitting on me.
Now I can't use Airbnb.
But that's it.
We're leaving it here.
That's it.
We're just going to leave it here.
Will people rent the house and will I go back in it?
Yes.
Will I do a live podcast from it?
Absolutely.
Can you legally do anything about that?
Probably not.
I can go as a guest and do a live podcast from your home and I probably will.
I don't know when.
It's not going to be soon.
It'll be when you think this is all forgotten.
And I'll just upload photos of myself shitting on your toilet.
Because as long as you keep renting out your house, people are going to find their way in it, honey.
So again, that's all I'm saying here.
And that's my little disclaimer.
I want no harm to come to these women or their business.
I am the bigger person, literally and figuratively.
They look like weird fucking, I don't know, but I've just had enough.
She then texts me, do you want me to get the review removed?
She was probably trying to do some wheel or dealer shit.
No, So now I can't use Airbnb.
Airbnb has deplatformed me.
Okay.
And some people are rejoicing in that.
That's fine.
can clearly use other people's Airbnbs, use VRBO, set up a fake account being a fake person.
Listen, what?
We'll figure it out.
None of it matters to me anyway.
But I just wanted to clear the air there and just kind of bring people up to speed that were maybe confused as to why is he putting this stuff on Instagram and taking it down?
Because there are people out there that now are trying to, my ability to defend myself publicly is unfortunate.
Now people are trying to take that ability away from me.
So I just want to relax for a minute because these social media tech companies have gotten rid of the president of the United States.
They will clearly get rid of Tim Dylan, a young patriot who is just trying to conduct business appropriately.
So that is my two cents about that.
That's what I have to say about the Airbnb.
Don't harass these women.
Don't pay them any mind.
If you rent their home, invite me.
I will come.
We'll do a podcast from their home.
That's all.
And again, nothing.
We won't destroy it.
We'll actually document how lovely we're treating it while we live stream from their house.
But these are people who are detestable people because of the way they've acted.
And I made a joke to them over a text message about burning down their house as a joke.
I was sending, first of all, I'm sending the gif for the Simpsons house burning because wildfires are a problem in California.
Shut Up About ALS00:11:31
It is a huge problem.
So for me to not tell them that that's a concern for them is crazy.
So these are women that just don't know how to have friends.
And all I'm trying to be is their friend.
Speaking of friends, I was out the other night.
This is a new thing now when people, I was at a socially distanced backyard in Los Angeles, which we all know is burning down with COVID.
We all know that.
And COVID is real.
Disclaimer.
It's real.
It can be devastating.
It's fucked up.
Several people I know.
Those are all true things.
And as apparently everyone in Los Angeles has COVID, even if you don't have any symptoms and if you've tested negative for COVID, you still probably have COVID.
That is the message from the government.
If you don't have symptoms and you've tested negative, you're not out of the woods.
So by the way, that's fun for the anxiety.
Hopefully nobody has anxiety.
One in three LA residents have been infected by coronavirus.
It's a new estimate.
It's a Nielsen rating.
We think this amount of people are watching Jersey Shore.
We don't know.
But if you have anxiety, this has been great.
Hasn't the last year been nice for you?
Remember when we all cared about mental health?
All of a sudden that went out the window when the media every other day is going, do you feel good?
Guess what?
Did you test negative?
Guess what?
You got it, bitch.
It's real and it sucks.
But here's the other thing.
And this is a little message for the people that have survived it because I've had enough.
I really have had enough now with, I was in a yard yesterday.
Two people in the yard had had COVID.
They hijacked the entire event, which was not really an event.
It was just a hang.
They hijacked it to discuss how they both beat COVID, how bad it was, and how no one in the history of the world will ever understand the struggles that they went through.
Not AIDS, not cancer, not those pussies with ALS.
Nobody will understand how hard it is to beat COVID.
I go, I haven't had it.
I said, I've been being relatively careful.
I said, I got very sick in March.
I had all of the symptoms.
I had tightness of the chest.
I had chills.
I woke up in the middle of the night.
I couldn't really leave the bed.
I was exhausted.
I couldn't make it from my bed to my couch.
Maybe I lost smell.
I don't really know, but I know that taste was all fucked up.
I could barely eat.
It took me three and a half weeks to get my things back.
And then they look at you and they go, no, you didn't have it.
You would know if you had it.
This doesn't even feel organic.
It's a bioweapon that you do battle with.
And they're literally doing like Cobra Khan moves in the yard about how COVID.
They're like, you think you're good and then it hits you from the side?
And then you double over and then you have to kick and you have to hit you again.
And I'm like, what?
And then I'm like, well, other people get really sick.
You know, my friend's mother had pancreatic cancer.
She fought that for 10 years.
And they're like, fuck that bitch.
I had COVID.
You don't understand.
It's a bioweapon.
They act like they defeated the Chinese military with this.
You can't even get a word in edge-wise with these people.
You can't say that other people get sick.
People die of cancer.
Is cancer not a thing anymore?
What about AIDS with these fucking people?
Lesions all over the world.
How about Ebola?
I mean, these fucking cunts will go to Africa, be people bleeding out of their eyes.
There's lepros on the thing.
And they go, you don't know about COVID.
I couldn't taste my hot dog.
You don't know about COVID.
It's just a bioweapon.
Ebola is just one of those cute diseases that comes from the nature.
It's not a weapon.
I beat a weapon.
So it just gets a little, it gets a little frustrating.
Is that it?
Frustrating.
Frustrating.
Doesn't it sound better as frustrate?
I do like that.
It's quicker.
This whole thing, we know how bad COVID is.
We know how much it fucks people up.
I've had friends tell me how bad it has been for them, both physically and mentally.
I understand that.
Dan Carney, for example, my opener who's had it, is now occasionally tired.
So I get it.
I get it.
I don't know why I haven't had it.
They're saying people that smoke are getting it less frequently.
That's true.
This is wild.
Man, if the only thing that cured COVID was butts, cigarettes, I mean, what a fucking...
I'm finding that 45% people are less likely to be current smokers.
Hospitalized COVID patients were 45% less likely to be current smokers.
The science is not here on this.
I'm not trying to peddle junk science because then we're going to be kicked off YouTube and everything else.
All I'm saying is this.
These are curious findings.
We don't know.
I don't know why I haven't gotten it.
I'm not trying to get it.
I'm not saying that I'm superhuman or anything.
I don't have any.
I'm taking the vitamins that Joe Rogan tells me to take, but every now and then he calls me and he goes, you know what cures COVID, freshly fallen snow and maple syrup.
And I'm like, I don't think so, but I'll do it, right?
Because he's healthier than me and I trust him.
So it is what it is.
He gets info from doctors and different types of people and people that are kind of doctors and kind of are doctors a little.
And I respect Joe.
So anything he tells me to do, I listen to him.
The point is, I don't know why I haven't gotten this, but here's what I will tell you.
I know that it's really bad and vicious when people get it in a bad and vicious way.
But is one of the symptoms that you have to discuss it for seven months afterwards?
Is there any let up here?
Because truly, when you bring up any other disease, they look at you like you don't get it.
And I'm like, well, what about ALS where you get diagnosed and you literally become a puddle and then die within two years?
They go, they go, nah, still no, not a bioweapon.
They go, you don't get, they go, you don't get it.
This is made in a lab and I beat it.
And then they tell you, they're like, this is how I beat it.
I sat in a room and I just went, I'm going to beat it.
I'm going to beat it.
I'm going to beat it.
And they're like, you don't even understand what you go through, the mental fitness you have to have.
And I'm like, yeah, okay.
But again, my friend's mother fought a death sentence, pancreatic cancer, for 10 years.
It's unheard of.
The woman was out doing marches.
She was raising money.
There are people that overcome horrible conditions.
There are people born with horrible conditions, okay?
Okay.
So this idea that the only thing in the world that anyone, the mark of a man is that he beat COVID.
The mark of a man, the mark of the soldier.
They're acting, and I know it's bad, but the way that they're talking and acting makes me feel so much less sympathetic for them because it's getting obnoxious.
It's obnoxious to tell a group of people that somehow they're less than because they didn't beat what they're calling a Chinese bioweapon.
These are the people, by the way, that have had it.
They're like, China tried to take Hong Kong with this bioweapon.
I beat it, but it's tough.
Like, yeah, my friend's mother has brain cancer.
She doesn't know.
She walks in a wall.
She can't see anything.
She's losing her sight in one eye.
This is like nothing that's ever been.
I'm like, okay, but what about?
I just keep throwing out diseases.
How about leprosy?
Leashmanis.
Go to the symptoms of leprosy, please.
See if we could get the symptoms of leprosy up.
Can we get leprosy, please?
Because this is the stuff I was bringing up.
Growths around the skin, thick, stiff, or dry skin, ulcers on the sores of feet, swelling or lumps on the face or earlobes, loss of eyebrows or eyelashes, discolored patches of skin, usually flat that maybe numb or look faded.
You know, that ain't fun.
Right?
That's very painful.
Yeah.
Pain areas in the joints, blisters, loss of color, rashes, ulcers, redness, reduced sensation of touch, pins and needles, loss of temperature sensation, nerve injury or weight loss.
How about ALS?
Get ALS up.
That's a walk in the park, apparently, because we got COVID.
Let's get ALS up.
Muscle cramps, tight and stiff muscles, slurred and nasal speech, difficulty chewing or swallowing, which ends up no chewing or swallowing, okay?
Literally what it does is it immobilizes you.
And it's insane how bad it is.
Okay?
Difficulty swallowing, drooling, lack of restraint, mild cognitive impairment, severe constipation, unintentional weight loss, shortness of breath, difficulty raising your foot.
So you bring this up to these people and they go, dude, you don't even get it.
You don't even fucking get it, dude.
This is like lab made.
It's something else, something different.
It's just annoying.
It's just annoying.
And it's got to stop.
I know it's bad, but it's got to stop.
Life is a Pandora's box of horror.
Okay.
People have all kinds of problems.
Some people's problems are greater than others.
Some people have to go through horrible things.
Okay.
I understand that this can be an insane life-changing event for people.
It could be a horrible thing.
It could kill them.
It could kill me.
I've been open and honest about that.
But what we don't want to do is annoy people to death as well by pretending that you are the only thing that matters and that the things that you've gone through are the only things that anyone should ever take seriously.
That everybody else in this country that's suffering because we have an opioid epidemic or because their jobs have evaporated or because they don't have health insurance, okay?
Or that they work all week for shit wages and nobody cares about them and they have to fucking navigate this world without any help from anybody.
Those people should all shut the fuck up because you had it, got sick.
That is not the way to interface with the world.
People do not want to tolerate that.
They just do not like that.
So what you have to do is you have to have some perspective and see things with proportion.
And I know this is a bad disease and I know it's affected people.
People have died.
Families have been ruined, and I'm not making light of any of that.
What I am saying is, please, if you've gotten through it, confide in some close friends about how tough it was, but otherwise, shut the fuck up because there are people that are dropping dead every fucking day that have diseases that make this look like a walk in the fucking park.
There's people that have brain tumors that are like you can't even fucking operate inoperable brain tumors that destroy their entire lives.
People here every day, you got to get your affairs in order.
So, let's just put a pin in it for a minute when you're in the yard with people and they're trying to relate to you.
I'm trying to relate to you.
I'm trying to go, yeah, man.
I was a little sick in March.
You're like, no, no, no, you don't, you know, with all due respect, with all due respect, you don't understand what this is.
I fought the Chinese.
I fought the Chinese and won.
Your friend's mother with the pancreatic cancer.
That's a walk in, let's be honest, that's a walk in the park.
Okay, it's a walk in the park.
ALS wheelchair can't move.
Stop.
Stop.
Land Lease Scam00:09:33
I had COVID.
Okay?
I don't want to hear about your hemorrhagic fever, your Ebola.
Bro.
Have luft gone a bit out of there?
Prøv Stratos, da vel!
The lufty milk-sokolade that's going to get out of the gled.
We'll break the sending.
No, wait, it's been a mistake.
Sending is actually the whole thing we have.
ProFrakt is to ensure that the company has access to Norges' lead-in-the-frakt-of-tales.
So, technically, we don't break the sending.
We'll break the sending.
You know, back to sending.
And remember, ProFrakt, da.
Nå får du et stort utvalg påskefavoritter til ekstra lave priser hos oss i Kiwi.
Vi i Kiwi har alt til påske- og hverdagsmiddagen.
Har du tenkt å grille?
Hva med 2x600 gram grillpølser av kylling og kalkun fra prior til 69,90?
3x600 gram grillpølser fra gilde til 95?
Og 3 pakk Leiv-Vidar kyllingpølser til 24,90 per pakke.
Og husk at du alltid finner sunnere alternativ billigere hos oss i Kiwi.
I'm just saying, you know, and by the way, smokers in Jersey are getting the COVID vaccine, which is odd because they're saying they've identified it as a high risk.
It almost seems the other way, that somehow they're.
But maybe if you get it as a smoker, it's a quicker descent.
I don't know, but you can now get vaccinated.
Smokers in Jersey are eligible for a vaccine.
No proof needed.
New Jersey is one of only two states that has included smoking among the high-risk medical conditions that make me can I just get on a plane and get the vax with the butt hanging out of my mouth.
They opened the floodgates of vaccine eligibility on Thursday to about 4.5 million additional residents, those 65 and older, younger people with underlying health problems, including cancer.
But I mean, we all know cancer, fuck that uh.
Heart conditions and diabetes diseases that can lead to severe complications, with COVID as part of the explanation.
New Jersey also became only the second state in the country to open vaccinations to another high-risk group, smokers.
Wow.
You don't have to document an underlying health condition, just say I'm a smoker.
What's the other state to do that?
Can you find the other state?
Yeah, let's see what it is.
They're saying one of them's Jersey.
I'm wondering if one of them's closer, I could just roll up with the butt.
And how do they prove you're a smoker?
You just roll up smoking ciggies.
I go here.
Look at my podcast on YouTube.
You see I'm smoking cigarettes.
States play smoking.
New Jersey and Mississippi, dude.
We got to go get vaccinated in Mississippi.
They're doing vaccines at a buffet.
We got to go down and eat some hush puppies and some fried shrimp and get vaccinated while smoking butts.
Would there be anything more American than getting vaccinated in Mississippi while smoking a pack of SIGs and taking down a few hush puppies and a basket of fried shrimp?
Can you imagine that?
Like nobody else has been vaccinated yet and you're just like, I'm staying safe.
They just give you the vaccine instead of teachers.
Fuck these teachers and nurses.
Let me get the vaccine so I could go to this shaky's pizza parlor, this pizza buffet.
So this is very interesting.
I don't know that the tier, CAA called me.
They're like, we can get you into tier three because you travel.
Tier three?
Yeah, or tiers, you know, well, because I travel and there's like, you know, because I travel for a job and I'm going to need to have a vaccine to go around and do my job.
I mean, whether I love it or not, and I don't love it, and I've been very open about my concerns about it.
At the end of the day, I'm going to have a choice between probably doing my job, traveling and leaving this country to do my job and doing it all around the country or getting this vaccine.
Probably going to have to eventually get it.
That's what it seems like.
I don't know.
Ben's wife got it.
She's fine.
Yeah, she felt weird, though.
Yeah, no, listen, it's going to make you feel weird, you know?
But this, apparently, in Jersey, you could just kind of show up smoking butts and you get the vaccine.
You have to be a resident of Jersey.
So I can't, I mean, California is such a goddamn mess.
God only knows how they're going to dole out the vaccine here.
I mean, God only knows how they're going to fuck that up.
I mean, California tears will make no sense.
They'll just be like, all right, first, we're giving it to TikTokers.
Second, surfers.
You know, third, people with an eye twitch, which would be me.
I have an eye twitch.
So I don't know how they're going to rationalize who gets it, when and where they get it.
A lot of people don't want it.
I don't love it.
But at the end of the day, I don't think I'll be able to get on a plane to go do comedy in London or, you know, Australia or any of these places without this vaccine.
This is what I'm imagining.
I don't know.
Supposedly they're coming up with an immunity passport.
These are things that are being bandied about.
And I do want to leave my fucking home eventually.
I mean, it is time, isn't it?
In the next few months, I think eventually after all these, you know, now we have the mutant strain and there's 15 more strains and the Andromeda strain is coming.
I mean, it's never going to end here.
But eventually people are going to need to leave their houses because my friends are losing their mind.
My friend called me the other day and goes, I want 250 grand cash, which I don't have.
She goes, I want 250 grand cash.
She goes, I want it so we can start investing in properties together.
I'm like, what are you saying?
What are you talking about?
She goes, just give me a quarter million.
We would start investing in properties.
What are you doing?
Me and him, I almost got taken in a land lease scam in New York.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So now here's the deal.
I saw this condo in Manhattan for $215,000.
I love New York.
I'm like, I'd like to own a condo in New York and it would go up in value.
And I'm like, how bad is New York got?
And I'm like, $215,000 for Midtown Manhattan.
What the fuck's going on over there?
I knew there was an exodus, but Christ, right?
How bad could it be?
What are you just getting stabbed on the way into the building?
215,000?
Benjamin, explain to them.
I almost got taken.
And by the way, if you look at me, I am the guy they hope buys this.
Because when I walk into an office, this is the pitch that they make to me.
This land lease scam that Ben understands even a little better than I do.
So it was a, first of all, very important.
It has to be cash only, all up front.
Cash only because banks, and this is a red flag, will not finance this type of transaction.
Now, me, I'm an idiot.
So I see that and I go, fuck, cash only.
They want the big rollers.
I'm in.
Like they're like, they want a certain type of people.
I think I even said to him, I'm like, I think they want a certain type of people.
I'm already putting my foot in the door to get robbed.
Do you see what an idiot I am?
Do you see what an idiot I am?
Because I'm a salesman and salesmen are easily sold.
If you were a salesman out there, you're easily sold.
Yeah.
It's true.
So the land lease is essentially the building does not own the land that it sits on.
So you can never technically own the apartment.
It can go up in price at any point.
The homeowner's dues, which are monthly, can double, triple, double, quadruple.
It doesn't matter.
And it gets reassessed every five to 10 years.
Yeah.
So interestingly enough, in the 60s and 70s, Trump Plaza made a deal with the land that the building was on to only pay $1.9 million for the land over the course of 40 years.
And in the 70s?
Yeah, in the 70s.
Wow.
When that expired, they owed $190 million to own the land that they had.
Because land costs in Manhattan always go up.
New York land costs go up.
So they raise the money.
Everyone in the building raises the money.
Everyone in the building, all the criminals living in Trump Plaza raised the money.
Because otherwise you could lose the unit completely.
Yeah, completely.
All the land gets forfeited back to whoever owns it and you're fucked.
But the people in Trump Plaza were able to raise $109 million.
$190.
$190 million so that they were square.
Correct.
Well, we're not going to be doing that over at the fucking...
What was this place called again?
It's Carnegie House.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they have all these, and it's on Billionaire's Row.
It's on 57th Street, Billionaire's Row.
And I'm an idiot because I'm like, I'm telling Ben, I'm like, you see, I said a lot of people are just not on Zillow trying to get these deals, but I'm on it because I'm smart.
That's the great article right there.
Which one is it?
Right there.
The $99,000 one bedrooms on Billionaire's Row.
Yeah, this was it.
Carnegie House.
$100,000 studios on Billionaire's Row, highly desirable apartments that people are racing to unload.
Why?
And then they explain to you.
In the case of Carnegie House, it turns out it's straightforward.
It's a land lease building, meaning the building doesn't own the ground beneath its foundation.
The arrangement is fairly rare.
There are only 100 land lease buildings in the city and means that the building's owners have to pay rent to the developers, which in a co-op building, of course, means that the shareholding residents who pay ground rent in addition to their typical monthly maintenance fees, real estate tax, and any operational costs.
So if the ground lease expires and is renewed at a much higher rate, the monthlies can double or triple.
Land leases can reset as often as every 5, 10, 15 years as the building and the property underneath is reappraised when they do.
So this is what is, I almost got robbed because I'm an idiot.
Now, they would have explained this to me, but I'm such a moron that I was actually looking at this as like a good investment.
And I'm the type of guy that they dream of because when I walk in to the real estate thing and I go, listen, I found a good deal.
I know how this works.
I pay attention.
I got my ear to the ground.
215, you know, I'll go in there.
Maybe we do a cash deal.
You know, who knows?
White Power Binary00:03:05
Like they look at me and they go, right.
They go, okay, so it's, you know, it's a land lease and that means that, you know, like, man, whatever.
In a couple of years, they reset the monthlies.
It can go up and anything can go up, right?
They go, hey, 15 years, 20 years, who cares?
Right.
They go, this guy, get him another steak.
Get him another steak.
You want to light?
Light up a cigarette.
Get him a steak.
He doesn't care about what happens in 20 years.
You don't care what happens in five years.
It doesn't matter.
You're happy in the moment.
Buy it.
You're a big dog.
You're living on Billionaire's Row.
Lie about how much it costs.
I mean, there's so many ways to try to sucker me into that deal.
Thank God Ben was here and smart and able to.
See, I just said white power.
I didn't even mean to.
I just went like this.
I was trying to make a point.
But this is white power now.
They will screenshot that and they'll see how I was trying to do white power.
All my enemies, of which there's like two enemies I have that write about me, that make like $8,000 a year to write about my podcast every day.
It's like, great.
The true threat to America, the Tim Dylan show, the alt-right podcast that has never ever talked about anything remotely alt-right.
It's amazing.
But again, it must be so comforting to just live in a reality that bears no resemblance to the one on this planet.
And that's what many people have been doing.
And they've made Luis Gomez a political figure.
They've made Luis Gomez into like a divisive political agitator.
And hey, man, whatever works, whatever makes you that $85,000, $9,000 a year that you earn writing about comedy as if it's the most important thing when we all know that it's pretty unimportant.
Anna from Red Scare was very interesting.
I want to get her on the show because she made a great point about Me Too and that like the unquestioning nature of Me Too.
Not that there wasn't a lot of real shit happening, clearly, but the unquestioning nature of it was really like lays the groundwork for this sort of like social compliance.
That everybody, like the highest virtue in America will just be compliance.
People going, yes, that person is bad.
This person is good.
Whatever the body politic, whatever like, you know, whatever feelings and thoughts and ideas and opinions we all may have, we're going to subjugate them.
And we're always going to take instructions from this tech, media, industrial complex now that will feed us our beliefs.
They will feed us our thoughts.
And we will regurgitate them because we all live in fear of being on the outside of that mainstream, acceptable.
And that's now, obviously, the other side of that is like, let's not storm the Capitol with horns and let's not, you know, burn down federal courthouses in Portland or Seattle.
But the intellectual response to all of this has been pretty frightening.
The people whose job is to think have shut their minds off.
Pretty terrifying.
Stop Talking Cars00:14:52
And they've fallen on both sides of a binary.
And everything they do just reinforces that binary to the point where the only thing that will happen is some type of violent clash.
There is no other option.
When nuance, people like me, the purveyors of nuance in a funny way, are attacked.
People don't like it.
They get angry when you're nuanced.
But if you fall on either side of a binary, they actually like you.
The left kind of loves the right and the right kind of loves the left because they give each other oxygen and a reason to exist.
They give each other an enemy.
When somebody comes in the middle and goes, hey, I'm kind of nuanced and I'm not like a total loser, even though I did just almost get fucking bilked in a land lease scam in New York pretty fucking easily off Zillow.
I am an idiot, but I'm not a complete loser and I have a little nuanced point of view.
I become the threat.
The threat becomes, are you fucking up the binary?
The powers that be love the binary.
And the people on either sides of the binary love it.
So when you fuck it up a little bit and go, yeah, I agree with them, but then I also agree with them.
And maybe we shouldn't do this, but maybe we shouldn't also do that.
People go, oh, fuck, you actually are putting out, putting a way forward of like, this could be a new way to think about things.
You're the real problem, you know?
But I haven't had COVID.
So I haven't really gone through the necessary things.
Another thing they're talking about last night is Teslas.
Everyone that gets a Tesla thinks they're part of the development team at SpaceX.
I've never seen a product like this where you buy the product and you become also a spokesman for the product.
It's not enough that you own a Tesla.
Everyone around you needs to know about the Tesla, what it can do, what Elon Musk is up to, what the Starlink satellite system is to.
It's a fucking car.
Yes, it's electric.
Maybe it's the future, but who gives a fuck?
Why are you going and ruining my night, never shutting up?
Oh, the Cybertruck's coming out.
And you know what?
No one, no.
Shut up.
It's a $37,000 car, okay?
A public school teacher could afford it.
It's not impressive.
It is what it is.
It's just a fucking car.
I get it.
You drive an iPhone around.
It's got all the bells and whistles.
It's self-driving.
I like driving.
All these idiots are like, well, you don't even have to drive.
You just sit in your car.
And what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Working on a hedge fund?
Drive.
You have nothing else to do.
Well, you could self-drive.
Yeah, we know why, you drunk.
We know what you want to do, you drug addict.
Yeah, you could self-drive.
You could cut lines of coke on a fucking CD case or whatever or whatever you have.
Yeah, that's, you know, that's a reference from a long time ago, but I bet those people still have those fucking, I used to do it on a gym blossom CD.
But that's my point.
I don't have problems with Tesla owners, but everybody thinks that they start talking about Elon Musk.
They start talking about the stock price, the stock price?
You think I ever bought a car and I'm like, well, Ford is actually up because of, you're not part of it.
You own a car.
You're not part of the thing.
It's really frustrating when people with Teslas don't understand that you're just buying a fucking car.
It's a weird cult that you need to convert everybody else into.
Everybody needs to know how cool Teslas are.
Like, you know, somebody I know has when they just looked at me, they're like, they're the future.
Like very seriously, they're the future.
It's like, hey, why don't you shut up about the future?
Okay.
It's a cool electric car.
Other companies will come out with cars that compete with Tesla.
JAG's doing it.
Ford's doing it.
A lot of people will do it.
Tesla's will still probably be always maybe the coolest or not.
I don't know.
But Elon Musk is a little annoying and I'm sick of him doing his Starlink satellites.
I don't even know what the fuck they do, but they make me think it's a UFO.
I think the planet's being invaded.
I know we're all going to get colonized and raped.
And I get so excited.
And then when I find out it's just this motherfucker goofing off, I get upset.
So if you own a Tesla, congrats.
But please just pipe down.
It becomes like the COVID thing.
You're like, you don't understand.
Yeah, I understand.
No, I know it's no, the car drives itself.
You put on self-driving.
It drives itself.
And soon in a year, it'll have full self-driving.
Well, why even get in the car?
Why doesn't the car just go to fucking Ralph's for you?
Why doesn't the car fuck your wife?
Why do you have to even be in the car?
Why doesn't the car go to the meeting and say the bullshit things you're going to say?
Well, it drives itself.
I just sit in it.
I'm just a passenger.
Okay, we get it.
We understand that it's fascinating and great.
And I'm happy about everyone that owns a Tesla.
I'm very happy about it.
And I'm not shitting on them.
I have a nice car.
I don't talk about it because it's boring.
No one cares about cars.
I don't care about cars.
I have a nice car.
It's a decent car.
It's a fine car.
There's better cars than mine.
There's cooler cars than mine.
It is what it is.
It's not a big deal.
Okay.
My car is also not, mine's a gas-guzzling truck.
So it's not cool.
I don't get to talk about the charger.
Talk about the Tesla charger all the time.
And we're, well, there's going to, they're actually going to have supercharged stations where if you pull up at charges, I hope you start getting shot in the head at the supercharged Tesla station.
Why don't we start doing that?
Why don't people start shooting people in the head and taking their money outside the supercharge?
Just an idea.
Wink.
Free idea.
I'm just a little sick of it.
I'm not hating on the Tesla people.
I was in Rogan's Tesla.
It's very cool.
It goes very fast.
Well, the ludicrous mode is very fast.
I understand that.
But where are you going?
Where are you going?
You don't have anywhere to go.
You're going fast to what?
What exactly are you doing?
Are you in a chase?
Are you using that car to chase down a man who has just thrown a girl into a van?
Is that why you need ludicrous mode?
So you can go so fast and then find that van and then fucking beat that guy up and then free that girl.
Is that what you're doing?
Or are you going to like, I don't know, fucking Dairy Queen?
You know, I mean, it's like enough for Rennie.
I'm just a little sick.
Do you understand my frustration with these people?
Of course.
It's a weird brainwashed cult of people.
Well, but it's people that just want to talk about, you have a Tesla.
You want to talk about that?
Yeah, yeah.
You have a Tesla and all you talk about is your Tesla.
That's not true.
But that's not, I wasn't really going at you.
I was going at a lot of people because he has a Tesla.
No, that's a weird cult of people.
Giannis has one.
Michael has one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My friend Michael has it.
They go, you'll never go back.
What does that mean?
I'm already looking at the lucid air.
It's a better EV.
It's coming out in like two years.
You know, there's other things.
Here's the thing with the you'll never go back.
You'll, you'll go back.
This is this whole thing is like, you'll go back.
It's like, you go black.
You never go back.
It's like, maybe that's the case.
But with Tesla, I mean, let's stop acting like you've done something.
People that have a Tesla act like they've really done something.
They act like they've really done, like they've accomplished something.
Now you've accomplished something because you used to be too drunk to even get in a car.
And now you've been sober and you're doing all this.
That's great.
But it's like, I have a Range Rover.
Who cares?
It doesn't matter.
I don't talk about it because it's not interesting.
The fucking British monsters that own Range Rover are not trying to help the world, by the way.
The car burns a lot of gas.
We like to sell it to rappers.
We ought to sell it to housewives and rappers.
That's who drives Range Rovers.
Housewives and rappers.
And I'm half of each.
And that's who drives it.
But enough with the Tesla shit.
Like enough with it.
I mean, you're starting to get better about it, but you love talking about it.
At the beginning, I was a little annoying about it.
Well, you just love talking to people about it.
You know, and it's like there's other things.
You're a fascinating guy.
There's other things that you can talk about besides your car.
Your Tesla.
Yeah, whatever.
But it's just, you know?
See what I do when I walk in a room?
I always give people sort of a dissertation.
And I don't say like, oh, the cool thing about the rent is that the sunroof.
I don't do that.
I tell people when I walk in a room, I tell people why they are, why they are where they are in life.
And that's what I feel is nice.
And I feel like it's the ultimate act of charity to walk into a room and look at someone and identify their weakness and magnify it in front of others.
But I am getting a little sick of houses.
I'll tell you this.
I'm getting a little sick of houses.
We're in this house right now, which is great.
It's a regular house.
You wouldn't look at it and go, wow, it's a mansion.
It's not.
It's a perfectly regular suburban California house.
It costs a little too much money because California costs too much money.
But I don't need more space than this.
It's great.
The reason we got this house was there's a large carpeted room that has a studio.
And carpet's important for what?
The sound?
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
So we found this room.
And most houses do not have old school carpet like this, but it's an old house.
It's like an old house.
And the things in it, you know, The handles fall off the doors and the dishwasher doesn't work.
And then you call the landlords who are sweet and you go, Hey, can we fix a dishwasher?
And they go, Well, it's a melee dishwasher, which means that we need a melee technician to come in and otherwise it would void the warranty.
And because of COVID, we can't get one of the technicians in and it's been broke for a month.
And now that what happened with the Wi-Fi?
The wife, there's a cord in the wall somewhere that's disconnected or under the house or something.
We can't get anyone out here for two weeks.
You know what happened, my wife?
Let me tell you.
Let me tell you something.
My wife came in one day.
She goes, The Wi-Fi doesn't work.
You know what I did?
What I did to my wife?
I killed my wife.
I killed my wife.
And I buried her in the fucking ground.
And I pissed on her corpse.
But now they're now they're coming.
When?
When are they coming, these people?
Two weeks.
And for anyone wondering, we're doing a hotspot off my phone.
That's why we're pulling stuff up.
But we don't have internet.
So two weeks.
Two weeks.
I mean, people that are working from home would die.
That's what I told them.
I said, if I work from home, I'll lose my job.
What do they say?
They started with the COVID.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We can't get anyone out.
That's a bio-wet.
They tell you.
They go, you don't understand.
You tell them, we need the Wi-Fi because I'm dying.
I have terminal cancer.
They go, it doesn't matter.
You don't know.
It's, it's, it's bananas that we have to like, we have to keep tiptoing around.
But now I'm looking at, you know, I don't, I also don't have a life to fill the suburbs.
Let's be very honest.
He has a wife and a Tesla and they have a, you know, it's a life, two dogs.
I'm just a lone ranger here.
So I live in an area where everyone has families and, you know, they've all have lives.
I just, I'm a person.
So I think my next move is going to be like a nice apartment building.
Get like a one or two bedroom apartment.
I want modern.
Like I always hated modern.
Now I want ultra modern.
I want everything to be modern.
I want no problem with the Wi-Fi.
I want a lap pool to swim every day.
I want like a fitness set because I think after COVID, which there will be an after COVID, I know people are like, no, there will be.
No, people who work from home forever, how are they going to get their dick sucked?
They're going to get fucked by meeting people at their jobs.
People have not like, you can't just run everything out of your fucking basement.
You're going to have to go back out there eventually.
And like there's going to be, I think that, you know, people are going to realize in a few years, if you don't have a life to really fill the suburbs, you know, or fill your house up with electricity.
Like you go and you get just a nice apartment.
Some of these buildings are really high-end buildings that have everything that you could ever want.
They've got maid service.
They've got all these cool things that are kind of baked into it.
Some of them are furnished.
I furnish this house.
I don't want to, I don't want to do any of that.
Some people love having a house, tinkering around, doing this, doing that.
To me, it's never been exciting.
I just want to be funny.
My job's difficult enough to stay funny and whatever, stay sane.
That I don't want to, I don't need to like walk around the house and be like, what's wrong today?
This is a fun project.
It's not a fun project.
You know what I mean?
A fun project for me is trying to figure out, you know, who I know in the business is next going to end up on a cover of the LA Times.
That's enough of a project.
I don't need to be tinkering around with door handles.
Okay.
So that's my point.
My point is that I think after this year lease is up, I'm done with these old houses.
I'm done with the charm.
I might be done with the suburbs.
And I head, and LA's all suburbs, but like head into more of an area of like a modern building with some amenities and just kind of go into that space age type of, you know, I don't know, blink your eyes and the curtain goes down or something.
Some of that shit is cool.
Some of this old fucking like charm is really what you say about something when it's just dated.
And I like dated stuff, but charm and dated go hand in hand.
Like this shit just, the house I'm living in was probably the shit 20 years ago, or maybe not even, but whatever.
It's a cool house.
I'm not complaining about it.
There's people that are facing evictions and shit like that.
I'm not trying to be like, oh, going, oh, hey, I don't know, whoa.
But it's just annoying when you're living in a place that is, you know, you just can't have Wi-Fi, can't have things because there's problems in the walls.
It's probably a bunch of brown recluse.
Spiders that are allies of the Airbnb cunts just chewing on the wires and the walls, trying to fuck me up.
That's probably what's going on right now.
I don't know.
Or some fucking MAGA black widows that are upset with me because I suggested.
And by the way, I'm sorry for going woke last week on Twitter and suggesting that you not bludgeon a cop to death with a fire extinguisher.
I do realize that is Hollywood elitism and I'll try not to exhibit that behavior again.
Although it's hard to get tempted, you know, so many of my friends have pools and you start to think like a Hollywood elite and I go, what would a Hollywood elite say?
You go, hey, don't attack a cop with a fire extinguisher and bludgeon him to death.
Now, by the way, three months ago, that was a position that would put me squarely at odds with the left.
Now people on the right are angry with me because you don't have to find the tweet.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's just what it is.
People on the right are angry with me because I've suggested that we not harm the Capitol police with fire extinguishers.
And they're angry with me.
And they're like, stupid.
They're like, yeah, well, it's a revolution.
They're like, everyone wants a revolution until it's here.
Fear Driven Supporters00:07:07
It's like, what?
You think this is a revolution?
How much of a loser are you that you think hitting a cop in the face with a fire extinguisher is an actual revolution that's actually going to happen?
You've dedicated your lives to following around a billionaire who lives in a castle in Florida.
And you think he's fighting some underground war to free the children that are being eaten by other politicians whom he was friends with up until three years ago?
You've dedicated your entire life to that.
And if I say something like, that's probably not the best, huh?
You go, shut up.
You don't understand.
Just a country of cults.
Country of cults out there, I guess.
I just, I'm trying to avoid the cults.
I'm trying to just, you know, it's like a slalom in skiing.
You just got to like zip past the cults.
Like zip past this, zip past QAnon, zip past Russia gates, zip past coronavirus, zip past this, zip past COVID, this, that, that, that, lockdown.
It's like anti-mask.
Are you like, ooh, I almost became an anti-masker.
And then I'm like, well, that's kind of stupid.
Some people are saying it helps.
And I'm not saying you have to have it on all the fucking time.
But like, why am I, why is my identity becoming like telling people not to wear a mask?
What is that about?
Like, I uploaded a photo the other day in Santa Monica.
I have a mask on because it's the law here.
And I have a mask on.
And I just, and by the way, I usually put it around my chin so I can breathe and still suck people off on the beach, but I have it in my chin.
And then sometimes I put it up when like I'm walking by like an old person or somebody who's like, gives me a look like it's meant.
And then people are like, you're a pussy.
You have the fucking mask on.
I'm like, your entire identity has become about telling me to not put a mask on.
Like that's your, your entire brain, that small shriveled up brain in your head.
You're funneling all the energy at just getting mad at someone who's wearing a mask because it's literally the law of the place that they live.
And they're trying to be considerate of other people.
They're like, there's no scientific proof it works.
I'm like, whatever the scientific studies are, whenever we find out what the fuck works and doesn't work, it's going to be probably years from now.
And guess what?
It's not going to be because some scumbag on Twitter told me it did or didn't work.
There's people that actually have degrees that are trying to figure this shit out.
And don't spam.
I don't even care, but like, just know that your 15 paragraph YouTube comment about masks will be lost on me.
I don't love masks.
I hate them.
I hate wearing them.
I feel like you can't breathe.
I don't like them.
I get creeped out when I see like kids with them when they jog in school.
I'm all, you know, I don't like, I'm not, I'm the wrong one, but when I go out in the public, it seems like the right thing to do to wear a mask.
But again, it's Hollywood elitism.
Don't smash the cop with the thing.
Hollywood elitism.
Hollywood elitism, by the way.
The only down-to-earth person left in this country is Donald J. Trump.
He's the only one that's somehow, he's the only one that's somehow down to earth.
And I mean, it's a good run.
He's had four years and big tech is, they're not acting up, right?
And the wall's built and everyone's happy.
The kids are all freed.
You know, there's parades every day of kids that were victims of human trafficking and they're just like walking up and down the streets.
I'm not saying everything Trump did was bad, but I do think it was a little bit of a mixed bag, you know?
Even his supporters, a lot of them that are intelligent, that have brains.
But now he's like deluding his supporters to like the real hardcore supporters, like the real hardcore, like the people, the Tesla cult.
It's like you have just a cult of people that just want to talk about how wronged Trump has been and, you know, how he's just never had the opportunities to do the things he didn't want to do.
And you'll just never understand.
It's just like COVID people, you know, everybody, you'll never understand.
So everybody now just, you have to sit there and just go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because they want to talk, they talk at you.
And you just sit there and you go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
My Aunt Donna texts me every day that everyone has Corona and is dying because that's what she wants to live in that universe.
She wants to live in a universe where it's like terror and fear and fear and terror because the boomers, the boomers need to be under attack.
They need to be under attack.
So it's either it's MS-13, it's COVID, like something's coming to take everything that they deserve.
And I get it.
I love my Aunt Donna, but it's like this is not uncommon to her generation where it's like, these are people that are in love with fear.
They love fear.
And wherever they can get it, and they're not, they don't discriminate either.
Well, they do discriminate, but they don't discriminate about what kind of fear they want.
They'll take it from anywhere.
Give it to them from Fox News, MSNBC, the local bulletin, a fucking something on a pizza place wall, wherever they get it.
They don't care.
They just want to be afraid and they want to be aggrieved.
I mean, people are trying to kill us.
Everybody's trying to kill us.
And somebody out there is to blame.
And this is what.
This is the dynamic that they love living in.
That's just what it is.
That's the boomer dynamic.
It's just we love fear.
They have really attached themselves to fear.
They've had it the easiest of maybe any generation to have ever lived ever.
And they still somehow find things to complain about.
It's kind of impressive.
It's just damn fucking impressive when you could talk to people that all of, a lot of them have inherited houses, gotten great jobs, were able to go to colleges very cheaply, made it.
If they weren't in Vietnam, they kind of skated by without any serious military commitments in their lives, unless they were voluntary.
Yes, there was boom and bust cycle in the economy.
And of course, they went through periods of economic hardship, but that's everybody.
I mean, there was nothing like the Great Depression.
And I don't think there was too much like the financial crisis in 2008.
I mean, the early 70s were bad in the 80s, you know, parts of that sucks for different people.
But the people I'm talking about kind of skated by.
They kind of did really well through all of these things.
And again, they either idolize Trump or hate him.
He is the center of their universe in a good or a bad way.
And because again, they want, it's either Rachel Maddow or Tucker Carlson.
It is fear-based kind of end of life.
We don't know what else to do.
We've done it all.
All the hippie bullshit never was realized.
Any of that stuff never really happened.
We all became yuppies.
And then we all bought houses in the suburbs.
And then we are all now, you know, huddled in these houses in the suburbs and angry and just looking outside the windows.
There are people coming to kill us and we got to defend our, you know.
So I get it, but I mean, it's just like, that's part of why I like the suburbs.
I like living in this house, but I wonder if, I wonder if I could live in like a modern apartment because my goal would be to kind of live in that modern apartment and still keep that fear and that anger. from the suburbs and bring it into the city.
Keep that fear, that sense of being aggrieved, that sense of perpetual victimhood, that sense of just churning angry, violent, nasty entitlement and bring it into this kind of modern communal living situation and one by one poison everybody that lives there, one by one, you know?
But listen, folks, here's the reality.
Fake COVID Stories00:00:58
You shouldn't talk if you haven't had COVID.
Everything's about you should just have COVID.
And if you don't have it, make it up that you had it.
Because I know people now that are almost provably doing that.
They're provably making up that they had COVID and they're medicating COVID with things like Percocet, which is not a prescribed thing.
And then they're saying things that have nothing to do with COVID.
Like they're saying, yeah, I had a physical fight with, I beat up my boyfriend, COVID.
I beat up my girlfriend.
Hey, I threw my wife down the stairs.
You know how it goes, COVID.
So that's where we're at now.
If you haven't had COVID, invent that you've had COVID because no one's going to take you seriously.
So as of right now, I'm going to let everyone know last week I beat COVID.
I punched my mother in the face.
I robbed the bank.
I bought a bunch of guns.
I went to the Capitol and I stormed in and I went and I put a fucking pen and I held Nancy Pelosi and I held the pen to her neck.