Lil Xan talks his new sober life, remembering Mac Miller and XXXTentacion, his go to order at Del Taco, dropping out of high school freshman year, and living in motels as a kid.Lil Xan's Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo5i-URBk7YYFvU0BR6wzPwFollow Lil Xan here:https://www.instagram.com/xanxiety/https://twitter.com/lilxanfuhyobih Bonus Episodes every week:▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE▶▶ https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-tim-dillon-show/ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: 👛 WALLETS:get 10% off a ridge wallet▶▶ https://www.ridge.com/tim🩳 UNDERWEAR:Order with PROMO CODE Tim to get 20% off your first order▶▶ https://www.sheathunderwear.com/⌚ WATCHES:Get 20% OFF and FREE SHIPPING▶▶ https://www.vincerowatches.com/Tim🔒 VPN:Get three months free▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon🥣 CEREAL:Use code TimDillon for free shipping!▶▶ https://magicspoon.com/timdillon🔵 BLUE CHEW :Use promo TD▶▶ https://bluechew.com/💊 HEALTH:Use code TIM for 20% off sitewide▶▶ https://omaxhealth.com/🤖 MANSCAPED:Use code TIMD▶▶ https://www.manscaped.com/👨🦱 HAIR LOSS:▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon💎 JEWELERY :Use promo TIM▶▶ https://www.anvilrings.com/📦 SHIPPING:Enter code TIMDILLON▶▶ https://www.shipstation.com/🎧 HEADPHONES:For 15% off!▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim🤳 COLOGNE AND SKINCARE:Use code TIM▶▶ https://hawthorne.co/🧉 HYDRATE:▶▶ https://www.drinkhydrant.com/TIM👚 CLOTHING:▶▶ https://fuct.com/🛏️ BEDS:▶▶ https://helixsleep.com/timdillon🥇 GOLD:▶▶ Text TIM to 474747🚗 INSURANCE:▶▶ https://gabi.com/timdillon🚬 QUIT SMOKING:Use code TIM:▶▶ https://lucy.co🎹 MUSIC▶▶ https://www.natebergmansings.com/⚓ NICK DAVIS'S PODCAST (BELOW DECK)▶▶ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/another-below-deck-podcast/id1216741721🏀 FANTASY SPORTS▶▶ https://www.draftkings.com/ use code DILLON💆THERAPY▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD💊 NO DAYS WASTED▶▶ https://nodayswasted.co/TIM use code TIM ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!:http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbg ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahonbenavery33@gmail.comhttps://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬#TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Weird Times for Music00:14:37
Welcome to the Tim Dylan show, everybody.
Special episode today.
We rarely do guests, but we're having this guy on.
Yeah, thank you so much.
Yeah, no, it's fucking great to have you here.
We're an odd pair, me and you.
I know, people wouldn't think, really.
People wouldn't think.
People look at me and look at you.
It looks like it's like a big brother program where I'm like trying to like mentor me and show me the right path.
Trying to help you out.
You have so much more money than I do and more fame, you know?
Probably not.
Yeah, I'm like, you should go this way.
And you're like, naturally, you should relax and do what I do.
You should get a face tattoo, Tim.
Yeah, you should.
How many?
I'm thinking about getting a tat for the first time in my life.
Oh, you don't have any tattoos?
I don't have any tattoos.
Oh, wow.
What are you going to get?
I don't know.
We're because we're doing this crazy tour.
Me and my opener, Dan, and we're all over the.
It's a weird time to do comedy because it's a weird time to do anything.
I feel a weird time to do anything.
And like, we're thinking about, you know, maybe getting something to just commemorate this crazy fucking little tour that we're doing.
And then, like, because we do it, we end in mid-November.
So we have like, we go through the run-up to the election, the election, and then a few weeks after the election, we just fucking don't know what it's going to be like to get up in front of a room full of drunk people.
Oh, man.
When shit's wild.
Yeah.
I wonder what is what is that like?
I mean, you have a lot of experience.
You've probably already done that.
Yeah, I've never done it.
Like, I've been doing it the last couple of weeks, and people are tense.
Are they tense right now?
They're tense right now because they haven't left their houses.
Yeah.
And they're fucking out to the comedy.
Come out to the comedy club.
But this is like they're just going out again, and everybody's got real strong feelings about the election.
My audience is really divided.
So I got people that are like, Trump's got to win again.
And then I got people that are like, Trump's the devil.
And then I put them in a room and then I pour alcohol on them.
Oh my God.
And then I try to make them all laugh for an hour and then get away with my life.
Is there any like crazier cities that you've been to more than others?
I think Phoenix, Arizona was drunk.
They were drunk as hell.
They were drunk and they were partying and they all don't think COVID's real at all.
So no mask wearing.
They don't fucking.
They were coming afterwards, trying to do like a meet and greets after the show.
And I'm like, dude, it looks bad.
You're just trying to make like a meet and greet?
They were trying to just grab me and they're like, come on.
And I'm like, and it was fun, but I mean, it's like, it looks bad.
Yeah.
God forbid I get sick or they get sick.
Then I the internet will go.
The internet tries to cancel you if you aren't safe with anything.
Yeah.
You've gone through that a lot.
You've gone through people.
Why do you think you're so controversial?
People, uh, well, I think the most part, my name, uh, Lil Zan, just coming onto this scene, it was just already what is the name?
Is that what explain the name?
Well, uh, back in Austin, Texas, what year was that?
Like 2000, 2016, I was just crazy off Xanax.
I was trying to be a photographer.
My camera had just gotten stolen.
And I remember we were on like Main Street or something.
I just walked into the liquor store and my friend was like, man, you're always high off Xanax.
Like, I'm gonna call you Lil Zan.
I didn't think anything of it.
I was like, that's stupid, but funny.
Right, that's a fun.
It's just a fun development.
Yeah, right.
And then from there on, I wasn't even thinking about making music, but all my friends made music.
So I got back to thinking about Xanax.
Yeah, I'm like, only Xanax, you know what I mean?
And then, yeah, I got back to LA and I was like, well, just all my friends make music.
Let's see what happens.
And just from there on, the controversy followed.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you feel like a lot of young people follow you?
Definitely.
A lot of young female audience for the most part.
Yeah, that is not this demo of this show.
I'll tell you right now.
That's what makes it.
Yeah, this is not.
This is not a 19-year-old girl show.
The women who come to my live shows have all been to prison.
Like that's the type of woman that really can listen to this voice for hours on end.
They love you though.
Yeah, they do like me.
They do like me.
So do you feel like your responsibility to live a certain way?
Because you're like all these people.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
More and less recently, I had a little hospital scare about like five, six months ago.
I was sent to the hospital.
I was trying to just quit everything cold turkey, OxyContin and Xanax mainly.
But I had five seizures and in one day, five seizures.
And it put me in the hospital for a couple of weeks.
And I got out and I just stayed clean because I was like, bro, this is going to kill me.
You know what I mean?
And I've been trying to, I've always tried to be a good role model against an advocate for not taking drugs.
Like I was never like, yo, y'all got to be like me.
And I was just letting people know that, you know, we go through this struggle.
You're not alone.
And I just recently come off it and this is the best I felt in my whole life.
Yeah, you look great.
Oh, thank you.
You look like you're, you know, you feel like you're in your living fucking life.
It's like its own type of high, actually.
Just be this coherent.
You know what I mean?
If we would have done this podcast like a year, a year and a half ago, I would.
You would have been sleeping.
I would have been asleep.
I would have been yelling and you would have just been asleep.
Yeah.
But now, what do you feel like, is that better for creativity to be sober?
I'm not going to argue against drugs.
They do help some sort of aspect of creativity, but you could be just as creative without drugs.
You know what I mean?
You just got to find inspiration and find like a good balance and you could be just as creative.
Why are there, like, I don't sure I know the answer because comedy, there was so many drugs and now there's not as many because so many people died, you know, like Greg Geraldo and, you know, all these people that died.
I mean, you could, you go back and there's, there's a litany of people that have died from drugs and being unhealthy and stuff.
What do you think like a lot of the tragic deaths, whether it's Lil Peep or Mac Miller, do you think they're making people really kind of think about how they're living?
Because these guys are so talented.
Yeah.
So much potential.
Is this making people think about stuff?
I think it's definitely showing people, you know, the repercussions and what, what, you know, what can happen.
You know, it's a shame that we lost Mac and Peep and all them.
Such talented like fucking artists, dude.
And young kids.
And young too.
You know what I mean?
Just so much potential.
Yeah, I think it's definitely, but if you go back in time, this is always people, young people have always been dying of drugs.
You know what I mean?
Like in the limelight is what I'm saying.
I think it is making people a little more aware.
But man, when you fall down that rabbit hole of addicted to drugs and stuff, it's hard to get out.
It's tough.
I mean, I was an addict for 10 years.
So I started doing Coke at 13.
Oh, shit.
So yeah, I was, yeah, it was bad.
It was bad from 13 to 25.
Okay.
And on and off cocaine.
How did you manage to get off of it?
I started doing stand-up when I was 25.
I bought a house when I was like 22, cooked out of my skull.
I got a subprime mortgage.
I bought a $600,000 house.
The house was worth maybe $350,000.
And I mortgaged $600,000 because it was back in the days when you could do that.
And I was just, every night, I was just drinking every night, Coke, drowning in debt.
But I would tell people about it and they'd be laughing.
And I'd be like, I'm saying the worst stuff.
And they would just laugh.
Like, this is really funny.
And I'm like, I'm literally going to die.
And they were like, this is really funny.
And then I just was like, oh, I want to maybe start making people laugh.
And then I just started doing that at 25 and I sobered up.
And I've been sober.
I'm 35 now.
It's about a decade.
So how was the sobering up?
It was tough, but I did transfer addictions, right?
So like from drugs to comedy.
Like I did transfer it.
So instead of doing drugs, I would do comedy three to four times a night.
Like that was what some people transfer.
Yeah, it took your mind off of it.
It took my mind.
Some people, like I had a friend got sober, went into fitness.
Yeah, that's right.
I did not do that, but he did that.
He went another way.
I went into stand-up and I was just like, you know, I just got to stay, you know, I plugged my head into another world.
Yeah, that's a, that's actually good that you're talking about that because people, that is a big thing of if you want to get help with addiction, you got to find something else to occupy, you know, your mind and stuff.
And that's like probably the best advice you maybe can give somebody is just find something else to something else to occupy your time.
Yeah.
And even if something you love or you're passionate about, it makes a big difference.
I've seen a lot of people, like you said, go into fitness.
That seems that's a natural high.
Natural high.
You treat your body the right way.
Like my opener is like majoring a fitness and that, which I didn't even know is a major, but you can major in exercise in school.
I should have gone to college.
I had no idea.
And he's great to have around because he's like, you know, every now and then he's like, you know, he's like, you gotta, you gotta rein it in a little bit, you know, which I don't always respond to.
Well, like, we were at the store yesterday and I got mad at him because he was like, I was like, we should get all this ice cream.
Maybe little Zan will want ice cream.
He's like, is that just an excuse for you to have more?
Can you get ice cream?
Yeah.
And I was like, do you like ice cream though?
Yeah.
See?
See?
Yeah.
We have cookies and cream.
Oh, yeah.
But so now, what, what are you, you're 24.
Are there people from your life?
Because you were not a guy that when you were growing up, like me, I think people were probably like, this guy's not going to succeed.
Oh, I was the same way.
They're the same way, dude.
If you saw me in my early 20s, I was drunk, coked out, driving a car with no insurance.
No, I mean, just bad, like, no, like, and my license has been suspended.
It's still suspended.
Like, yeah, I mean, I was just working in a subprime mortgage office, barely selling those.
Fucking for me, it was, I dropped out a freshman year after attending three months of high school.
I was like, three months of high school.
Yeah.
Wow.
Crazy.
Three months of high school.
Yeah, I couldn't do it.
You gave it till Halloween.
Yeah, I did.
And then I was around.
I was like, fuck that shit.
Whoa.
Yo, the problem was the people.
I felt like I was trying too hard to fit in, you know, be the cool kid.
Yeah.
And I was like, man, I could tell that I was becoming like something I wasn't.
Right.
And I was just like, I can't do this.
I like to play video games.
So I dropped out, spent probably the majority of what would have been my high school experience playing video games, not talking to girls.
I was a fucking, you know, were your parents like cool with that?
Oh, man.
I mean, they weren't cool with it at first, but I think they realized pretty soon that they were like, oh, we can't tell him what to do.
Right, right, right.
They're good parents, good, supportive parents.
But they would have liked it if I probably would have, you know, went to school.
But finished ninth grade.
Finished ninth grade, at least, right?
They were as supportive as it could be.
Yeah, supportive as like, all right, he gave it till Thanksgiving.
Let's let him play some games.
And then I didn't really know what I wanted to be.
You know, I just knew that I just didn't need school for what I was going to do.
You just knew you weren't going to conventional.
Yeah, I wasn't going to conventional.
I knew that too.
And I don't tell people.
I don't encourage people to go that route.
Yeah, we're not encouraging anyone.
Yeah.
Just in case our advertisers are wondering, we're not encouraging anybody to drop out.
Yeah.
When you were playing video games, you just love rap, you love music.
Oh, I've loved.
I had me and my dad used to just bump records on like vinyl and all that.
Who are the people that you love?
Because I know that there's been much made of like you saying that like certain rap didn't speak to you.
Where it's like, you, you know, you respect guys like Tupac, but you were like, those were my favorite guys.
You know?
Yeah, I have so much respect for all that.
Like I grew up on old school.
You know, I grew up on like tribe called Quest, Day Lost Soul, Big L, a lot of different things, you know.
Yeah.
Mad respect for that.
I dated Foxy Brown for many years.
You did?
I'm kidding.
I was about to say, oh my God.
That's so cool.
Tell us about it.
Right after she got out of the firm.
No.
So you were like into rap, though.
Who are your guys where you like, when you heard that, you're like, I want to do this?
Because for me, it was like guys like Patrice O'Neill and Bill Hicks or George Carlin or even like a Joan Rivers.
Like when I heard people say shit, I was like, fuck, I cannot believe they're saying that.
I can't believe it's so funny.
Who are your people in rap?
Where you're like, these are my fucking people.
It's so crazy because I didn't really know I wanted to pursue music until very far into actually, but I just always love music.
And it's not necessarily just rap.
I grew up on alternative rock, like Grunge, Smashing Pumpkins, all that stuff, Nirvana.
But I think around the time when I started to make music, I started to really appreciate the craft and all that.
And I was like, oh, this is something really special.
And my love for music transitioned into, you know, a cool little career off of music.
It was just super sick.
What was the first time in your career that you knew things were going in a good direction?
Like, you were like, fuck, I'm actually.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably like around, that's hard, man.
Was there like one show?
Was there one thing where you got out there and you're like, fuck, like, this is, I can do this for a living?
Well, I was, I was like a supporting act for my friends and a lot of other different artists.
Who were they?
Like, who are those people?
My friend Stephen Cannon, who's still, he's on the rise and just people like really that aren't really known.
Right.
It was kind of just, I just love performing.
It was like for like 10 people.
You know, it wasn't that crazy.
So I think the first time in my career was when I dropped my record betrayed on Cole Bennett, Cole Bennett's lyrical lemonade platform, great platform.
And then it hit like a million plays.
And I wasn't used to any million, anything on YouTube.
I don't even think Spotify was really popping off.
Like it was a thing, but it wasn't like really popping off yet.
Yeah.
And then it hit a million views in like an hour.
And I was like, what the fuck is that?
Wow.
Yeah.
That's huge.
I'll never forget that feeling.
It was like magic.
You know what I mean?
It's crazy, man.
Just, yeah.
That was probably the first time.
What about are there other people that you came up with where you're like, I owe that person a lot.
That person kind of put me on that.
Oh, we've definitely, I would say, no, you ever heard of like the No Jumper people?
Yeah, they were early, early adopters of what I was doing.
Like they were like, oh my God, there's a rapper named Lil Zan and stuff.
And then I think we made like we made some t-shirts.
And they probably sold like 13 of those t-shirts.
But it was the first start and it got me linked with Cole Bennett.
And from there, it just went crazy.
Are you like you, when you were, you were young, you were on the internet.
Did you, you, do, you labeled up kind of quick or were you like somebody who went indie for a while?
I was probably independent for a pretty good time in the beginning.
But I had originally signed like Columbia Records.
Like right after the record went crazy, betrayed.
It was around the time I, you know, Columbia.
I feel like I was going to a label meeting like every week.
And I landed on Columbia, but we had like some differences.
What do you think about in general, people that are making music now?
Is it better to just stay indie?
No, man, we were just having that conversation.
It's a weird time for music in general.
Like the people that are, like, shout out to anybody who's just blowing up right now, like Ian Dior, Kid Leroy, man, they're going crazy.
It's just a weird time because you can't do shows.
Labels, Dreams, and Money00:09:24
So, you know what I mean?
It's weird because their Spotify numbers are going crazy, but it's like you can't take a video of a sold out show and you can't really understand the full grasp of what somebody's doing right now because we're limited to what we can do.
But it, yeah, it's just a weird time.
So is it, is it, do you think it's good?
Like, do the labels, are there good labels that help you?
And then there are this.
Oh, yeah.
The music industry, you need like a, if you want a certain thing, yeah, labels are definitely the way.
I'm not against labels in any way.
And I'm also not against like the independent route.
Right.
Um, because you can make a lot of money independently.
Yeah.
But with what the labels bring to the table is they bring resources.
And resources are probably the single-handedly most important thing that you need.
Like if you want editorial playlists on Spotify, you want to be on that big Spotify playlist.
A label will get you that like nothing.
You don't even have to be a popping rapper or artist in general.
You just have to have the label.
Are there people from your life that are like, fuck?
Like, they look at you or wrote you off, and now you're like, kind of.
Oh, yeah.
Are there people like, Jesus Christ?
Are there kids that their parents were like, don't hang out with Zan?
And now, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That had, right?
Yeah, even still.
Probably some of them.
Yeah.
Well, they're still like, now that I say, yeah, we mean it.
Yeah, it's definitely people that wrote me off pretty early on.
And, but, you know, once you get a little bit of fame, a little bit of money, it's like they all come back.
But there's still a pretty good amount of them that are still like, oh, fuck this kid.
Right.
Right.
Because, like, if you come from like a small town like I did, you don't want to see nobody do well.
You know, it's kind of fucked up, but it's like, I don't know.
People hate on like that type of success.
Yeah.
I mean, and I think you did it too in a way that like, you know, a lot of people are probably like, you dropped out of school.
You started your music.
Like, that's the story of a lot of people.
A lot of people don't succeed like that.
Yeah.
If it's, if you don't want to go the more conventional route, as long as you, you know, chase what you want, like maybe a dream or, you know, like Steve Jobs, he dropped out.
I think Bill Gates dropped out.
Yes.
I think of you, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates in the same sense.
Right a child.
Steve.
I usually, I usually group you guys together.
Bill Gates.
As three people that took an alternative route.
When did the tats, when did you start going wild with the tats?
Oh, 18.
I got my mom's name, Candy, it's had it on my amazing.
And there was no type of success.
Because now they're pretty common, the face tattoos.
But back then, it was nobody.
Back then, it was just a very select amount of people that were making SoundCloud rap.
You know, Lil Pete, XXX, me.
And it wasn't like trendy yet.
But I saw it and I was like, oh, that's, it looks cool.
I thought it looked cool.
It looks cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I was like, what can I get that my parents aren't going to freak out?
I'll just get my mom's name tattooed.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that was the first one.
Yeah, it was candy.
And people, they thought I got it because like eye candy.
And I was like, no, I didn't even think of that.
Yeah, it's kind of good, though.
Yeah.
But I got it so she wouldn't be that mad.
She's still really fucking pissed.
Yeah, I was about to say.
Yeah, guarantee she was still very still pissed.
And she's like, well, now you have to do something crazy.
It almost put you in that box where you had to fucking pop some other way.
Something actually walk into a job interview with candy on your cheek and have a guy go, yeah, let's get him involved.
Yeah, he should be the regional manager.
Yeah, he should be the regional manager.
Is it wild now when you look back at that kid who wanted to be a photographer and you're like, like that kid was just had no idea what was about to happen?
No, no fucking idea was about to happen.
Because like I said, I did music because I thought it was cool.
All my friends did music.
And then it actually started working out.
I was like, oh man, this is crazy.
Like this actually happens.
Like nobody talks about that.
Like this actually can happen.
You know, people always think about dreams and stuff and it's just so far-fetched.
It's a dream.
Yeah.
You know, but for many people, it is far-fetched.
I mean, you're talented.
I mean, you forget.
And I appreciate how inspirational you are.
Oh, thank you, man.
That's not what I do.
But I tell everyone, take that dream and shut now.
Because I know a lot of people who are just, they're not, I mean, they're literal dreams where they're waking up and not asking me for money or asking their parents.
But you have a fucking talent.
You're good.
You work.
You write shit.
I mean, that's a different story.
It just becomes.
Yeah, it is work now.
But it just becomes so, it just becomes easier and easier as you get.
I guess, yeah, you're getting better at it.
Right.
But I just, I never think about it like that.
Are there people you don't keep in your life now because you're like, these are people who are not, you know, good for me?
They're not good, you know, in terms of drugs or in terms of partying.
Oh, definitely.
Are there a lot of hangers on and stuff?
When it first started off, it was crazy.
Everybody wanted to come back in my life, or even family, like a lot of family members, like outer family members, like not my mom or dad.
And it was just like outside.
Yeah, like all the crazy people.
I keep them away with a stick, right?
All the people I used to go to Christmas parties with, they're like, oh, yo, Diego, Diego, come over.
And I'm like, man, I was a black sheep of the family.
Right.
Even like before everything.
So I was like, oh, you guys are fucking assholes.
Like now that, because I came up like really poor and stuff.
So it was like, so you, that's what I wanted to ask you about too.
You grew up in Redlands.
In Redlands, California, which is like, it's not Riverside.
It's like right next to Riverside, right next to San Merdina.
And you grew up, you were poor.
You didn't have growing up, I was all right, but then we hit a time.
You know, it just hit the fucking.
Everybody's sitting at time.
Yeah.
And what was that like?
That was horrible.
I was my grandma had just passed and she was like 99, so she was fucking old.
And then we were relying on that.
That 99.
That's like a Mexican legend.
Right?
99.
It's crazy.
She was trying to hit 100, but the movie Coco is about her.
What is the, but we were, what's that thing when you caretaker, caretaker checks?
We were relying on that to pay the rent.
And when she passed away, unfortunately, you know, we couldn't get those checks anymore.
Yo, rest in peace, Graham.
I love you.
And then we had to, we were living in motels.
Like it got that bad, like super eights and stuff, man.
Going back.
And you know, it's Cali still?
Yeah, in Cali, like Ucaiba right above.
And that shit is.
How old were you at that point?
I probably had just turned like 18 around 19.
So you're living in like in a one-bedroom with your oh, yeah.
It was so in cockroaches, cockroach infested.
It was terrible.
And that shit can get pretty expensive too, of course.
You pay weekly.
It's expensive to be poor in America.
A lot of people don't realize that.
It's a lot of money, man, to not have credit or to not have a lot of money.
And then you're in and out of these hotels and it's fucking.
It got really bad.
But one thing I would.
You got brothers or sisters or just you?
Oh, just me.
Oh, no, not just me.
I have a half sister and a half brother.
Okay.
I see my sister occasionally, but my brother is actually in prison for attempted murder.
Okay.
Yeah, but he gets out next year, crazy.
Hey, he can try it again and hopefully this time.
That's what I told you.
That's what I told him.
I was like, hey, listen, you can attempt it.
You get right out.
You don't get it right the first time.
You get right back on the horse.
That's what I say.
Now, you did.
Was he just mixed up in some bad stuff?
Oh, yeah.
He's a great, great person.
Just makes drugs.
And I'd like to believe he's changed now.
Yeah.
But you know, you never know when you get.
Was he in jail when you were blown up?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
He's amazing watching your little brother become a fucking star.
Yeah, he probably pissed him off too because he's like in there and he's like, oh, fuck, I want to be out there.
Do you visit him?
He's so far away.
I haven't seen him in a long time.
Next year.
Next year, yeah, when he gets out, I got a good situation for him.
Yeah.
She thunderwear.
I wear it all the time.
I wear it in the pool.
This is an underwear that functions as a bathing suit.
It is perfect.
I love it.
We all wear it.
Ben wears it.
Dan wears it.
Everybody I know wears it.
I put it on for both of them in the morning.
It's part of the job.
It's part of the job description.
No one's upset about it.
Hollywood's a fun place.
Du har en ny beskjed.
Hey Lars, Daniel fra Joka Buland der.
Du sa at du ventet et lass med barnebarn i Porsche.
Tror derfor du vil synes at det passer med et lass med ukes joker, som er et utvalgt følelse fra Gilde, Friord, Pinsbrotten og Leiv Vidal til minus 40%.
Vi snakkes.
Joker, den gode naboen.
So you're living in Yucaipa and you're in and out of these motels and stuff.
Are you...
Are you getting depressed?
Are you getting like, fucking shit, my life sucks, and I don't know what to do?
Crazy because I wasn't too much depressed about the situation I was in at the time, but I was really just trying to chase my dream.
I knew that somebody in the family had to do something to change the situation.
Yeah.
But I didn't know what was going to happen.
So at that time, I did have my camera and I was going out to shows.
That's how I met all these guys.
I've known them for the whole majority of my career.
And I was just taking pictures.
I was like a super fan.
Yeah.
Like of these guys.
And they just gave me the opportunity to fly one day out to Austin, Texas.
And that's where I got the name, Lil Zan.
And it just, yeah, it worked out.
It's crazy.
Yeah, it's crazy.
From Fan to Photographer00:15:15
And now you look, you know, back on that stuff.
And it's like, maybe that in a crazy way was good.
Oh, I've thought about that too.
Like, maybe all that bad shit that happened was for the better.
And it was for the better.
Cause if I was born fucking rich with rich parents, maybe I wouldn't have tried so hard to do something.
Yeah, I know.
Maybe you just wouldn't have been able to make the music that resonates with people.
You talk about a lot of pain in your music.
What kind of rap would you say you do?
There's a bunch of names for it.
Oh, there's so many names.
I don't really like to label it, but people probably call it like cloud rap, mumble rap.
Right.
Just a whole like little SoundCloud kind of era.
Soundcloud kind of era.
Yeah.
But you talk about a lot of pain, addiction.
Oh, emo.
Yeah.
Shit like that.
Sad.
Yeah, like sad, sad rap.
Sad rap, emo rap.
That's definitely what a lot of us fall into.
I love that.
We use that song, Slingshot.
Oh, you're in Telling me.
Yeah.
We use that.
Pull up that video where at the end of the video, we use that slingshot.
Slingshot was the song that we always used.
And you never suit us.
We appreciate that.
We love that.
So I listened to that song before I go on stage a lot.
It was a good pump over there.
The other one, Betrayed afterwards, I kill myself.
But the Slingshot one gets me.
Yeah, that one's a little different.
Betrayed, I started listening.
I'm like, yeah, I've been fucked over my life.
You know, I slow me things.
But Slingshot, I just, where did you do that video, by the way?
That's it.
Oh, right.
Forest Falls.
It's like an hour.
It's on the way here.
Yeah, but at the end, just pull up that, like, and the last few seconds of this video.
But we used to, and then when I would do tour date announcements, we would do this fucking.
It looks like it looks like, I love that.
We love.
We love that video.
Yeah.
We love that.
It's my ass crack.
And then that song.
We loved it.
But yeah, man, it's like, what do you, what do you like?
What do you think of LA and Hollywood?
Is it, do you love it?
Because it's crazy.
Are you a guy that goes out to these places?
Like, well, there's Boa Steakhouse or any of these guys, Saddle Ranch.
Are you one of these dudes?
Like, because you would get, you know, when you walk in, everybody turns their head.
Everybody knows who you are.
When I walk in, it's the same thing.
People often are like, oh, Amy Schumer's here.
And I appreciate that.
What do you think about the LA?
Trendy, trendy spots.
The trendy shit.
Are you into that shit?
Is it fun to you?
Or are you like, ah, it's fucking annoying?
I mean, I love going to good restaurants and having good, you know, good food.
Your boy Diablo goes to Boa all the time.
He goes to Silo too.
I see him all the time.
He fucking loves steak or whatever.
He's out there all the time.
I wouldn't say I'm super into the trendiness of like.
Do you eat food?
Are you like an eater?
Yeah.
Oh, this year, especially during the pandemic, I just, that's all I do is that's how I discovered Saddle and stuff.
Because you like Taco Bell.
I love Taco Bell.
Yeah, and Del Taco.
And Del Taco.
Now, interesting now.
Yeah.
This is the way I think of both of them.
I think Del Taco might have actually better food, but I think Taco Bell might have better food.
No, I think Del Taco is better.
Oh, Del Taco does have better food.
Yeah, but I think Taco Bell has more transcendent moments and they're just better at like branding and it's just those iconic kind of flavors.
You could tell that they're better at branding.
It's definitely a bigger chain than Del Taco.
You had an incident at Taco Bell.
Do you remember what happened?
What happened at Taco Bell?
Did you throw it?
You had like a fit or something?
I've had many.
By the way, I've had many.
No, no, I probably did.
I'm not.
I've had many incidents.
If I if, if I had near your level of notoriety I, I at your age, I would be in jail.
But oh, the food yeah the, the Food Court.
What happened?
The Food Court, do you remember?
I okay, I was, I had, I was with this girl she's, she was beautiful and of course you're taking her to the nice place.
I taken her to a food court where she'd take a beautiful girl too, and uh it's, that's a crazy story.
Uh some, some dude who worked at the, the food court, like at a Wetzel Pretzel, I don't even know.
He's all, he's all dressed up in his uh uniform, and he comes up and at this time everybody's trying to take a picture at the mall.
Um he, he's like, yo, can I, can I take a picture?
And i'm like yeah, you know, i'm cool with that.
And he's like no, not of you, I want a picture with your girl.
Yeah, that's up.
Yeah, I know that's up.
And I, it's ridiculous yeah, I was like what, the like?
It took me a minute to put.
I was like no, get the out of here, go back.
He's literally in like a little wetzel pretzel, like yeah yeah yeah yeah, little apron.
And then I yo, I couldn't, I couldn't let.
Is that him?
Is that the Wetzel?
Yeah I, I couldn't let.
I couldn't let him go out like that.
Uh, I couldn't let myself go out like that so.
So he went back to his little stand.
After a little altercation, I had a slushy in my hand right.
So and i've done this many times in life, I don't know why, I don't know why I always have a slushy in my hand, and so I walked over there and just chucked it at him, hit him perfectly, and then he jumped up on the table and at that time my security is like already blocking everything.
Right, it was funny.
Yeah, who does that, though it's fucked up to do like props, you're taking a girl out on a date.
Yeah, the Food Court court, and you expect people to be classy.
He came up to me and, like 10 of my friends and like had the balls to just say that you roll deep.
You always have an entourage.
Oh yeah, I like that.
Yeah just, there's people, as you can see on the internet, that I just have Ben, I would take Ben, I would take a guy's better looking than me, everybody.
And then he gets in first and then i'm screaming and I I i'm i'm I let into a service entrance.
Yeah um yeah, but that's crazy, but you get, you get.
And what happened with the hot cheetos?
Because oh, that was and people always asked me if that was real or fake, and because that was as real as it gets, I think I made a joke.
I think I was on stage at the comedy store one night and I was like little Zan said he went to the hospital.
So hot cheetos.
Yeah, what happened was I ate a, I ate a couple bags, and i've looked this up.
Uh, this could just happen, this happens, this can happen.
I ate a couple bags and I started puking and there was a little, a little bit of blood in there and I was like well, maybe that's just the hot cheetos.
No, blood looks like a certain way.
Yeah, and I freaked out a little bit, went to the hospital.
No big deal.
They're like, just stop eating cheetos.
It's just because of your, your background, people are probably skeptical.
Yeah, it's like when I say i'm on a keto diet and I go to Dairy Queen and I say I thought they were giving covet tests there and I just end up with a blizzard by mistake.
Yeah, it feels like when you say hot cheetos.
A lot of people think yeah, and just all the media outlets picked it up and thought it was.
I don't even know if I said overdose in the video, but there's like he overdosed on some of my cheetos and I was like fuck, it's just wrong with it, they just roll it.
Do you hate them?
Do you hate the media?
Are you like?
Oh no there's, there's certain outlets that it's how they make their money right yeah, there's certain outlets.
I can't hate on anybody just doing what they do to make money.
You know right, I like TMZ and I like uh, a lot of the media outlets, some more favorable than others.
But yeah, have you ever had people reach out to you that really like your music, that are that you would be shocked or surprised like, is there anybody so many people?
Yeah, I think it's always shocking, right?
Yeah, who would you say?
You probably have a certain demo of fan, right?
Yeah.
It's like when you were like, oh, I think you're funny.
I was like, that's really awesome and very surprising.
But that was great.
Not super surprising, but I think it's that surprising.
It's not that surprising.
But do you ever have somebody come up to you like just a 75-year-old woman?
He's like, Leonardo, there's always old.
I love you.
It's always old women.
Old women.
Everywhere I go, it's like, it's fucking weird.
I'll have meet and greets and maybe it's just like the moms of daughters.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, they're always, it blows my mind because they'll travel like 14 hours in a car to come and see me like at a spot.
In Vegas, we had that happen.
I was like, oh, you guys, I love it.
I love it.
It's just, it blows my mind.
And then the band Corn, right?
Yeah, Corn invited us, me and my friend, out to a show.
And I was like surprised.
It's dope.
Corn is fucking dope.
And Marilyn Manson was there.
It's crazy.
It was crazy.
Because you do kind of straddle that thing where it's like, it's kind of like rap, but you're also like...
Like in the alternative.
The alternative people would like you and rockers would like you and stuff like that.
Which is so cool because I grew up on Marilyn Manson and corn.
So it's just, that's what blows my mind away.
It's like, wow, like this is.
Do you think Hollywood's a lot of fake friends, a lot of people that have a friend?
I think Hollywood's a lot of fake people in general.
You know what I mean?
You can't escape that.
There's real people everywhere, but more or less, yeah, Hollywood is going to be.
What do you think about the country right now?
The election and all the craziness going on.
Are you worried?
Are you scared of COVID?
I think I was really scared of COVID when we didn't know.
Don't get me wrong.
It's horrible.
It's a horrible.
It is a scary fucking thing.
But I was more scared when it was like unknown.
You know what I mean?
When it was just like a little virus coming out of Wuhan and people didn't know.
It's fucking scary.
I don't know anybody personally that's passed away, but I know a lot of people that do know people that have passed away.
Yeah.
And, you know, I try to be safe around my family.
My mom's old.
My mom's like 62.
So I always wear a mask when I go over there and try to social distance.
But I think the country, this is a horrible year.
It's a tough year, man.
It's a weird.
It's a fucking year.
It's one for the history books.
Yeah, it certainly is.
What do you think is who do you think will win the election, you know?
Oh, man.
I think it's a crazy election.
That's always a hard topic.
I don't think your fans are huge Trump people.
I'm not a big Trump of sounds.
I got to be very careful.
There's a lot of Orange County boat guys that love what I do.
I would say I grew up.
I don't want to offend them.
I grew up very blue, you know.
Of course.
I would say I'm more like independent.
I like to just think of, you know, just whatever I think.
Yeah, that's what I consider myself.
Like independent.
I'm independent.
I'm all over the place.
I think Trump winning again would be no good.
I think it'd be bad just because we need something.
Something's got to change.
We're just headed towards a fucking destruction.
We're heading towards like this.
We're heading towards destruction.
I just don't know what else.
I mean, it's just, but I mean, he might win again.
If he wins again, it is what it is.
I wake up, do what I do.
I don't care.
It's just, it's a crazy time.
And especially this election, they said it's going to be like the craziest election that we've ever had, too.
Yeah.
Nobody knows.
Are you a conspiracy dude at all?
Friends getting into conspiracy.
When it's like a good conspiracy, it's not like some fucking weird fart out there, but like good conspiracies.
There's a lot of rap dudes, independent rap dudes that love the conspiracies.
A lot of followers.
What's your favorite conspiracy?
So one of my favorites currently is that JFK Jr., who's John F. Kennedy's son, they said is not dead, that he's been kept alive and he's going to replace Mike Pence as Donald Trump Jr.'s Donald Trump's running mate.
That's what that favorites.
Yeah.
This is what I'm talking about.
JFK Jr.'s come back on the 4th of July.
That shit.
That's just fun.
I like that.
And then he's going to come back, Princess Diana, and a bunch of...
I like when people come back.
That's a fun one.
It's a good fucking conspiracy.
They come back.
We were just talking about the Princess Diana one.
I believe in I believe that she was killed.
I believe she was probably killed too.
She was definitely killed.
She was probably killed too.
She's dating this guy, Dodeo Fiance.
She's going to marry him.
Maybe the royal family didn't like that.
Very strange stuff like that.
And then the Epstein episode.
Yeah, I've seen that.
Fucked up.
Yeah.
What do you think?
Have you ever been around people in Hollywood where you're like, that they're shady?
I don't want to be around them.
All the time.
Yeah.
All the time.
Like, people want something.
If you can benefit somebody else, they want it.
You know what I mean?
Like it.
And fortunately, I can benefit a lot of people in some way.
So you just got it.
It's about finding who's real and who's not.
But that's a weird, blurred line right there.
Do you look at young artists and go, I want to help that person?
I think that person's great.
Of course.
If I like the music, or even if I just like them as a person and I can help them, you know, develop their sound.
Yeah, I'm into that.
That's great.
Do you take them on the road or how do you do it?
Yeah, we've taken people on tours.
Like, shout out this girl artist named Femme.
Super, super cool.
We took her on tour.
She's killing it now on her own.
Who else are we like taking?
We've taken like Steve, my homie Steve.
But it's just crazy because we've been around other successful people before they were successful.
Right.
Like who?
Like Lil Mosey.
Shout out to Lil Mosey.
He's killing it right now, doing so good.
I think we might have been one of the first people to like.
How many?
And this is a serious question.
How many Lil's are there?
There's like a lot of.
It's like a huge thing now.
It's the Lil Mosey.
Yeah, I think it's always been, it's always been a thing.
It's probably bigger now than it is.
And that was a dude that you knew back before he was.
Yeah, this was like Seattle.
Yeah, Seattle, like three, four, two, three years ago.
And now he's just killing it.
And I'm not saying we did anything, you know, for his success.
I'm just saying we've just been around.
Like, I was around XXX and Tossian.
I stayed in Airbnb.
I picked him up from the airport way back in the day.
And it was just so cool.
Another insanely talented dude.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
So fucking talented.
Him and Ski Mask.
And it just, I think there's something about, I think all artists, like if you surround yourself, what's what I'm trying to say?
Like, like I was around XXX when they were just blowing up, and I wasn't shit.
You know what I mean?
But I think that rubs off on people a little bit.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You gotta be around people that are doing what you're doing.
If you surround yourself with like successful, talented, good people, I think that's where everybody comes from.
You know what I mean?
And I was lucky enough to be to surround myself.
What separates those dudes?
There's a lot of guys that get into that, try to do it.
What separates those guys, do you think?
Is it work ethic?
Is it just from unsuccessful?
Yeah, from the people that just don't figure out a way to put it together.
There's something, this might sound crazy, but I think there's something just really divine about it.
Because again, speaking about X, there was just something insanely cool.
He just gave off this energy that I've never even felt like before.
Same with Juice World.
Like when I was around Juice World a couple of times, they just gave off this great divine energy that you know, you know, they're going to be superstars and just kill it.
And I feel like it sucks that their lives, you know, were taken so early.
But there's just something so divine about them as people.
So that little peep and all those Mac Miller too.
Mac, yeah.
And that'll, did you know Mac well?
We were, I would say we're friends, maybe more acquaintance as friends, but we had we had uh hung out uh a few times, yeah.
Um, like public settings and stuff.
He was, he was so cool, man.
He was, he's one of my favorite artists.
Yeah.
Do you think that like addiction for some for whatever reason, like a lot of people that are addicts or have that mentality end up being being great artists?
Unfortunately, I think it seems to always kind of steer that way where I do think that drugs can provide you and not like a specific drug, just drugs in general can provide you with like a different look on life.
It could help the music.
It could hurt the music.
But like I said, you could find that inspiration sober.
I just think a lot of people sometimes get in this habit of thinking that they can't be creative without drugs or some sort of stimulant.
Right.
And that's where people is it tough to date girls now that you're successful when you don't know who's going to fucking likes you for who.
I've definitely dated some women that were just in it for clout or money or whatever.
But I'm with a girl right now that I love her.
I'm in love.
Like I've never been in love before.
Is that good for creativity?
Oh, yeah.
Drugs vs. Creative Inspiration00:04:15
You just make a bunch of love songs.
Just make a bunch of love songs.
But you know what else is good for creativity is going through a hobby.
Getting left.
Yeah, getting your life.
Yeah, the Costco.
Having the love of you.
You just have a real, that real love like OJ and Nicole Simpson has.
So this kind of real LA love.
Glove, love.
Glove, love.
Which just, you know, really results in something, you know.
Are you like, what's the next step?
What are you trying to do next?
Do you ever see yourself as like, you know, you're a funny guy.
You're on social media a lot.
Do you ever see yourself getting into other shit?
You're like, I love music.
I want to do, would you ever do a TV show?
Would you ever do more content on YouTube?
Would you ever do anything like that?
That's the future of Xanarchy, my brand.
I want to take this.
I just want to brand it everywhere.
By the way, Xan has acquired this show.
Xanarchy has just bought the Tim Dylan show.
Very cheap.
It was a pack of cigarettes.
He bought it.
It was very cheap.
And I signed.
It was very cheap.
And now that's our brand.
Yeah, I would love to do something like this, like a podcast.
Obviously, podcasts are the new cool thing and stuff.
But I've always thought they were just, you know, you could learn more about the person.
That's what I really fuck with is I want more people to think of me in like a less ignorant kind of way.
Because I know a lot of people look at me and they instantly just write me off because they're like, oh, he's stupid.
Look at him.
I think a lot of people are like, he's just wild.
Yeah.
Like they see you and they hear some of the stories and they're like, he's just like.
The media definitely doesn't help that.
The media doesn't help it.
And they're just like, you're a whirling dervish.
Yeah.
They're like, this guy's off his shit.
Yeah.
And I don't disagree because you're also growing up.
Yeah.
You're fucking, what, 24?
24.
I just turned 24.
Dude, you're a young fucking kid still.
And I'm doing drugs, though.
The reason I had all these like these wild incidents, I can almost guarantee 80% of it is because I was fucking high off my mind off Xanax.
And let me tell you, Xanax is a hell of a fucking jug.
What is, I never got into it.
I was Coke.
I love smoking weed.
I like Percocet.
You know what I mean?
I'm a little classy.
Polo shirt.
Thank you.
Xanis or Zani bars were like, I don't know.
People were getting into it.
It became trendy recently.
It became trendy recently.
I sobered up about 10 years ago.
I love the Percocet.
You know, I took an 80 milligram Oxie once.
Oh.
And not once, but 70 or 80 times.
But I remember me and my friend were just, we're laying.
He was on a couch.
I was on a couch.
You're like staring at you.
We're just scratching.
It was too much for me.
Oh, yes.
Too much.
It can be overwhelming.
Same with the Xan.
So what is the Xani bars?
What do they do?
They just, because I know they're anti-anxiety, they numb you out.
They give you like the craziest, like sense of false confidence.
Interesting.
False confidence.
Like it will make you think that you are like the shit if you are.
And a lot of these rappers, I don't know what the Xanax scene is like in rap, but I know when I first came on the scene, I was a little Xan because it was fucking everywhere.
Right.
And it just gave you this crazy sense of like, you could do, you're invincible.
You could do this.
You could do that.
And that can work in your favor sometimes, but people would just start to think you're fucking obnoxious all the time.
Like, I can't tell you how many people I've been around, like, oh, God.
What about there's all kinds of other shit now?
There's like lean and there's all kinds of homemade concoctions.
What is that for people that don't know what that is?
Lean is a cough syrup.
Different brands have different types, like Walk Hard and Activists is discontinued.
But Lean's been around for a minute, and it just falls into the rap drug category.
If there was like a rap starter pack, it'd be like Percocet Zans, Lean.
Lean.
Cocaine probably.
Face tattoo, get some.
Face tattoos.
Just to get started.
Skinny jeans.
Just to get started.
When you said the thing about Tupac, would you think that was the most, were you mischaracterized?
Was that the most mischaracterized thing?
Oh, it was definitely the most mischievous.
You started like a huge thing where you were just like...
I didn't realize what it would be.
And I was, again, high off my mind.
I was sleepy.
I was pissed.
I didn't want to be there.
I was almost just, I was really mad at the interviewer before anything.
I just didn't want to be there.
So I was kind of in like a fucking shitty mood.
Yeah.
I don't dislike Tupac in any way.
You said.
You're a fucking legend.
Right.
And you said it was like boring or something quick.
Addiction and Rehab Struggles00:08:41
And you were kind of like...
It was like, I was trying to write off every question so quick because it was just like fuck it.
If you watch that interview, you can see me.
I'm just in the chair like rocking back.
I'm like, I don't want to be there.
I didn't think anything of it.
Nobody thought anything of it.
But yeah, I think that was.
Have you ever had beefs with bigger rappers?
And are they squashed?
Which is, I believe, the terminology.
You Google it, right?
Squashed.
Thank you.
I don't have anything against anybody.
And I know that's crazy for probably people to hear because I've been involved in a lot of stuff.
Like, I remember when, yeah, the Tupac stuff, T.I. was on Twitter talking, you know, shit.
And Waka Flocka was trying to ban me from hip-hop.
And I was just like, that was like, I get where they're coming from.
But you're a kid.
You're a young kid.
Yeah, I was, I was understanding.
That guy's a, you know, there's a God.
And he says a crazy thing.
But you didn't mean it.
I did not mean that.
But it was a catalyst for hate.
And a lot of people, you know, tried to just like blackball me and do this.
And it's just wild because I, as in, like, the most adult I've probably ever been in my life at this point, sober, I'd have nothing against anybody.
You know, and I see where they're coming from.
Right.
I was a little ignorant kid saying some stupid shit.
So, but I just want everybody.
No, I'm cool with everybody.
You have a new conversation.
Hey Lars, Daniel from Joka Buland there.
You said you waited a last with children in Porsche.
I think that's why you think it's a last with Joka's Joka, which is a choice for Gilde, Frior, Pinsbrodden and Leif Vidal to minus 40%.
We're talking about Joka, the good neighbor.
Do you, do you, in terms of sobriety, how are you managing that?
Are you going to meetings?
You're talking to friends and family?
It's crazy.
Because I...
How long are you sober now?
I've been sober since May 22nd.
May 22nd.
Okay, great.
And I didn't go to rehab.
I didn't do that.
Was there an event where you were just like, I'm not.
The seizures.
I had, did we talk about that on here?
Yeah, you said we did like five seizures in a day.
I had five seizures in one day.
And I was trying to just quit everything cold turkey.
And the doctors were like, you, you can't do that.
Like, that's bad.
You could die.
But I, you know, I just wanted to quit it cold turkey.
And Sean, excuse me.
I'm talking to little Zan.
Lose my number.
I hate my family.
Jesus Christ.
My fucking family.
He's opening up about seizures and I got these idiots who want free tickets.
So you have five.
I need some free tickets.
You get all the free tickets you want.
Dan's Dan.
We're going to Tampa.
Dan's requesting about 45 free tickets for everyone he knows in fucking Tampa to come.
How am I going to make it money?
All the girls and stuff.
All this hoes.
I was going to say that.
Fuck Dan Carney, please, if you're on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook.
Snapchat.
Let's go.
LinkedIn.
Yeah, we just had like a few seizures in one day.
It was crazy with seizures.
It was fucking crazy, dude.
You don't even remember anything.
What is it?
Because I've never had one and I've seen people have it.
It's one of the most disturbing things to watch.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
My girl at the time saw it and she just cries every time.
Like I talk about it.
And I'm like, fuck, I must have looked crazy.
It's just like you're there one minute.
You kind of start hallucinating a little bit, but you don't realize you're hallucinating.
And you think like you're asleep.
And then you just like wake up and you're fucking scared.
So you don't even feel it happening.
No, like you don't.
You just wake up.
Like you just black that wake up.
But you're terribly scared.
You just don't know.
Like you're having trouble breathing.
Your anxiety is going crazy.
I remember I woke up from it.
I was like screaming like, you know, like fucking bloody murders.
I don't know what I was screaming.
And all my families around me just looking at me like, what the hell is up with you?
So then it was like, we got to go to the hospital.
Yeah, we went to the hospital.
You know, they got to run the CAT scans and stuff.
Thank God I was fine.
But I knew at that point that I really just had to stay sober.
And was the seizure caused by the drugs?
It was caused from Xanax withdrawal.
Not even Perkins.
Not even Perkins, it's just straight Xanax withdrawal.
Jesus Christ.
That's how you know that drug is wild.
But your brain needs it.
Yeah, your serotonin receptors.
So the doctors were like, you can't cold turkey this.
Yeah.
And at that point, I'd already had the seizures and I was just really, they put me on anti-sease medication.
So I was just like, maybe this, you know, will prevent seizures.
I could just quit.
And everybody was telling me to go to rehab because I needed professional help.
And I'm so like, you know, I'm just like, I could do this.
And it was hard.
It was really hard.
I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't eat.
I lost a lot of weight.
But a month after, I came out, you know, stronger than I've ever been.
Yeah.
And you're, and you're fucking, you're doing good now.
And this is, this is the future.
The future for you is just clean.
Yeah.
I just want to help other people.
You know, I think I sent you a message on Twitter.
I was just like, got to stay sober.
Yeah.
I just said a message.
I was just like, this kid, talented dude.
And I didn't even know you, but I was just like, this guy's, you know, you see young people sometimes.
And like, I remember being, what being an addict is like.
And I, and it's horrible.
And I remember like, you know, also being, being somebody that wants to create shit and make shit and like how all those worlds fuse together in a very fucking negative way.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
It's also horrible for, you know, it's not just horrible for you.
It's horrible for everybody involved.
Everybody around you.
Your family, everybody around you, your girl, man.
Everybody.
Everybody's worried.
They're just thinking, oh, one day he's not going to wake up.
Yeah.
And that's just, you know, it's the scariest thing ever.
Are you excited about when quarantine ends?
You could kind of come off, come out of quarantine, you come start doing live shows again.
Yeah.
Do you miss that?
Do you miss the adrenaline and getting on stage?
There's no better feeling than being on stage performing for like, you know, sold out shows.
It's like, it's the best feeling.
The adrenaline is pumping.
It's just amazing that people like that you can do something where, you know, thousands of people will come out just to see you.
Like, I'm so grateful for that.
Yeah.
It's a blessing.
It's amazing to me because I'm going out, you know, and these people coming out in the pandemic and it's like they're just like, I saw that shit you posted.
It was packed.
I mean, we're selling it all over to people who're just really happy to be out and we're just having fun because people need to laugh right now.
Yeah, shit is so fucked up.
That's so important right now.
Is the comedy store in Hollywood open yet?
It's not open yet.
Not yet.
We're hoping.
We don't know.
You know, I think it's just going to be, we're going to be down for the winter.
I think spring is going to be spring.
I think that's just what's going to happen.
I think we're just going to head through the holidays.
That's going to happen quickly.
Do you ever think this is going to become like a new norm?
I hope not, but I do think there's a possibility of that.
I just think that people want freedom too much in the sense that they don't want real freedom, but they want to go out.
Yeah.
So I do.
You find any excuse to go out.
Yeah, I do think that come spring after we've made it through maybe a second wave of this.
I think people are just going to say to themselves, like, fuck it.
I want to be.
They're going to get tired of it.
They're going to get tired of this shit, man.
They're already getting, people are already getting tired of it.
People are getting tired of this shit.
People are like, fuck it.
If I'm going to die, I'm going to die, but I just can't sit in my room anymore.
Yeah.
And I also, another thing about this pandemic is like, when I was in the hospital for the seizures, it was like the beginning of it kind of.
And you can't have guests, you know what I mean?
Like in around.
So this is a horrible time to just die.
Yeah, you got to die.
You got to die alone in the hospital.
You can't have loved ones around you.
It's a horrible time to have a kid.
It's crazy.
My friend just had a kid.
It's so hard.
Nobody can be in the delivery room.
Wow, that is so crazy.
And then, and, and if you're in a hospital dying now, you cannot see your family at all.
Like, which to me sounds doesn't that?
But I do understand that many people have a problem with that.
It is tough, man, when you see these people FaceTime view.
It's fucking horrible.
And that's why I do comedy because I try to laugh at horrible shit because I don't know what else to do with it.
I think you try to make music and that's how you deal with it.
Yeah.
That's how we deal with how fucked up the world is.
But yeah, the comedy, that's so people need that.
People need that, man.
I just, you know, I don't know what else to do.
I look at this world and it's so fucked up and there's so much injustice.
And I think that like people should go out and make whatever change they can make.
But also in your own life, like treat people well and everything, which I try to do.
What's that saying?
It's treat people how you want to be treated.
Yeah, I like being treated poorly.
So that's a horrible quote for me.
I truly enjoy being treated very, like when I go to a restaurant, they treat me like shit.
I'm like, yeah, I like that.
I like to know where I'm at.
Finding Joy on TikTok00:04:20
Like I went to Nobu the other day and they were just, I didn't have a reservation.
I was like, what?
You know, I was just like, I'll wait.
Sushi in my fucking car.
They were like, we have a table in four and a half hours.
They did not.
They said four and a half hours.
It was some crazy wait time.
I was just like, just put it in a fucking box.
And just send me online.
Of course, TikTokers, there's like 15-year-olds being shot to tables.
They're like, hello.
What you said about Saddle Ranch and it's just a bunch of TikTokers eating chicken thing.
Yeah, it's funny.
I mean, it's silly.
LA, I come from New York, which is a real city.
And I mean, with all due respect to everyone here, LA, I love LA, but LA is a little ridiculous.
But I think that's what makes LA fun.
Yeah.
That's what gives LA its charm is that it's a little wacky.
LA is very ridiculous.
It's a little wacky to see paparazzi climbing over hedges to interview a child.
And then they're interviewing a child and then the child says what a child would say.
They'll be like, Addison, what's going on?
And some girl will be like, I just got a car.
And they're like, yeah, good for you.
And I'm like, this girl's just having a normal 17-year-old experience.
And you're chasing them through the streets.
Do you deal with a lot of paparazzi?
Do you deal with people just trying to find you?
Yeah, when we go out, if they're there, they definitely come ask some questions.
But I do agree.
It is wild that.
Because I appreciate what TikTok is.
Sure.
Yeah.
A lot of shit is good for music.
And if you can make money off TikTok and you can get a notoriety, that's epic.
I love it.
I love that for you.
I'm not as tapped in.
I do do TikTok.
I don't dance on TikTok.
But I try to make.
You jump around on stage, though.
Yeah.
That's like the same thing.
Just translate that.
But I like, I'm not really tapped into much.
I'm trying to get more tapped into the TikTok community.
We make TikToks and, but they're just funny.
They're funny.
You know what I mean?
They're random, funny.
They're not like the dances.
But I'm not that tapped in.
So when they ask like Naparazi like Hollywood fix or something, I always watch those videos and it's like they're asking some crazy, what's happening in the TikTok world of beef drama.
And I'm, I'm so, I'm getting older.
You're getting older.
Yeah, like that's getting older.
Because it's definitely a young person.
Really personal game.
And so, so you're somebody who you're actually creating a thing.
So, a lot of people on TikTok are, it's a very transient style of fame where they're a lot of those guys, the smart ones, are now doing finance advice podcasts, like Bryce Hall and these guys.
And they're like smart, they're like smart guys because they realize they're like, I'm not going to dance forever, but I'm going to, I'm going to become like an angel investor and try to.
It's evolving.
I mean, they're evolving into like that thing, but those guys aren't artists.
You know what I mean?
That's a different thing, I think.
I don't think they would say they're artists.
I don't think somebody with their shirt off on TikTok that's just dancing would say I'm thinking so uncomfortable.
The little TikTok e-boys.
Yeah, I would, that's not art.
That's not making a song.
That's not writing a book.
It's kind of like.
I mean, it can't be art.
If that's art, we're in trouble.
I don't hate it.
I'm like, good and make your money.
Yeah, make your money.
But what those people are talking about, Mac Miller did, that's very different.
Very different.
And I think they know that.
The smart TikTokers know that, which is why they're like, here's an energy drink.
Like, they get like the bang energies.
Yeah, they get it.
I think they all have investors.
And believe me, I love TikTokers.
I'm not on here.
I love TikTok.
Me too.
To make that clear.
You know what I mean?
But I respect it.
It's different.
Like you said, the energy drinks, I always see the bang energy.
Well, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's branding and marketing.
It's smart.
This is what I'm saying.
They all have investors.
Right.
Like, that's crazy.
That's the craziest shit to me.
But you, you, you didn't get famous for being famous.
You got famous because you were a musician.
You're a rapper.
Yeah.
And you made music.
Yeah.
And you were in that scene.
But I think that's how it started off.
But I think what happened was the Lil Zan persona became just its own thing online.
You know, like, I love making music and I have a lot of fans that love me for my music.
But I feel like a lot of people just joined in.
And it was just like, I just want to see what the fuck Lil Zan does next.
Do you see kids that emulate you?
Like, do you ever go out and see a Littler Zan?
Littler Zan.
That should be a rapper.
Lil Zero Zan.
Littler Zan.
Littler Zan.
Yo, shout out.
There's actually a dope artist named Emotional Zan.
Emotional Zan.
Becoming Famous Through Music00:05:05
And you're cool with that.
No lawsuits.
Yeah.
Emotional Zan.
If you can make it work with the name like that, it's epic.
Yeah.
What are you?
Yeah, Emotional Zan.
Look, it's crazy.
Oh, my God.
This guy's no joke.
Do you know him?
Oh, we've talked before.
Just like a little, oh, we got Zan in our name.
No one with Zan in the name can ever have a normal appearance.
Like, it's got to be wild.
It's got to be out there.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Look at that.
Shout out Emotional Zan.
He's killing it.
I love that.
I love that so much.
That's great.
Emotional Zan holding a gun.
Very good.
Everyone holds all of the Zan family loves the website.
Yeah, we all get together and talk.
We're in a group chat.
I love that.
What are you?
What's the, if you could have one, if you could do one thing in terms of a goal, is it you want to put out an album that's the killer, most killer thing?
What's the one thing you want to do?
A world tour?
Yeah, we're definitely working on the second album.
Just trying to find.
Is it harder, a second album?
It's a little, I think making the album in general is a little tricky because you just music's always evolving.
So you always are trying to get ahead of it so you can find out what the next this is and next.
Like what MGK, Machine Gonkelly's doing, he nailed it.
He's evolved.
Yeah, he's evolved from smart rap to the pop.
It's good.
It's good.
Don't Valentine's good songs.
Oh, it's so good.
All this.
So we were just listening to his album.
It's amazing that the way he transitioned and he just had a number one album doing that pop-punk stuff, which proves where music's going.
They like that alternative rock.
There's no borders anymore.
You can do whatever.
Like I'm having a conversation with you.
That's crazy.
You're crossing the borders.
This is a crazy thing.
Yeah.
Machine Gonkelly can do alternative stuff.
You can do whatever you want.
Anybody can do that.
Donald Trump can be the president.
I mean, it's really wild.
Wow.
It's wild.
I mean, there's no limits to anything.
Yeah.
So if anybody's ever telling you like you can't do that, well, you can fucking do it.
Yeah.
You know, there's, there's nothing you can't do at this point.
2020 proved that.
2020 proves it.
I'm excited for 2021.
Hopefully it's worse.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So now, so you're, so we're, we're excited that you're so this is the new sober Zen.
This is the first like sober.
No more.
So if you ever throw a fit now at Taco Bell, you're doing it sober.
I do it sober.
I get angry sober, and you can too.
At this point, if I, yeah, if I throw a fit somewhere.
You don't have to be on drugs.
What is your order at Taco Bell or Del Taco?
Just out of carrying out.
Taco, just, we used to call it the Stoner burrito, but they used to get pissed.
It's just the burrito with the fries in it.
Oh, yeah, California burrito.
That's not called the Stoner Burrito.
Yeah, yeah.
We used to order it and be like, yo, can we get the stoner burrito?
They're like, we don't know what that is.
Please order the right way.
Sounds like, can I have the Ox i guacamole?
Can you just use the menu?
Can you use the menu, please?
Can I get the Zan?
Oh, man.
Can I get the stoner burrito?
Yeah, that's what he's a colour.
You're just hanging out of a G-Wagon.
Yeah.
At that time, I was in a beat-up Nissan Versa.
Now you're in the G?
Now I'm in the G-Wagon.
It's tight inside a little bit.
Yeah, you know, I wish I knew more about the car before I got it.
Right.
It's like a boat.
You know, it drives itself.
Like, you want to go left, it goes fucking right.
I love it, but it is.
You know, when you make money and you're making money now, what are the things?
Are you a clothes guy?
You like cars?
What's the thing where you, everybody has a vice?
Yeah, I was more of a clothes guy.
I like shellfish.
Everyone has like a thing.
You have a big shellfish.
I love like shrimp.
You ever have a shellfish tower, like a restaurant with like shrimp and lobster?
Seafood is my favorite.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Clothes in the beginning, I was like, it has to be Louie.
It has to be Gucci.
But it doesn't, like a hoodie and a beanie and skinny jeans.
Right.
I do the polo.
I like polo.
Polo's.
I just do it because it's just like, I just started wearing it and that's now just what I wear.
And it's just easy.
It's like a uniform.
And I just.
Yeah.
And that's kind of like a uniform too because everybody, it's like, oh, like, what do you expect?
Each other on Halloween.
Looks little Zan.
Yeah, just for my face stats.
They'll be like, you're fat, little Zan.
I'm like, I'm little Zan.
Fat Zan.
Fat Zan.
Well, dude, I fucking appreciate an hour went by like nothing.
Oh, you're thankful.
Dude, it's wild to have you on.
Yo, so great.
A lot of my fans would be like very interested in this conversation.
I'm like thrilled you're a fan of the show.
Oh, I love it.
I'm thrilled you fucking like some of the shit we do.
So sick.
I love that fucking, that slingshot song.
That's like an unofficial song of our career.
I love a lot of the other stuff you do.
I thought you were Billie Eilish for many years.
And now that I've finally realized, I finally realized that you're not.
But dude, fucking, you're so fucking talented.
You're so fucking good.
Thank you for having me.
Stay fucking sober, dude.
Keep making music.
And we'll head up to Saddle Ranch and we'll eat some chicken fingers.
It's all TikTokers.
All right, brother.
Thank you for coming on, dude.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate that.
Thank you, man.
Tell everyone where they can find you if they don't know.
They know.
Instagram at Zanziety.
Just put an X in front of the word anxiety and basically that's it.