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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Creepy $10,000 Pillow Search00:05:17
Welcome to the Tim Dylan show, everybody.
Summer in full swing here.
The kids are at camp.
No, they're not.
Camps are closed.
They're out overthrowing the government.
They're fine.
They're making their own fun.
They're making their own fun.
Get a Chardonnay and go by the pool.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.
Get some salt water, some fresh air, that salt sea air.
Take a nice deep breath.
Make some s'mores.
Throw a burger on that grill.
I left the desert today to come to Los Angeles to record.
And it's about a two-hour drive.
And in the time I had left the desert, when I got here, a viral human trafficking conspiracy was born.
Isn't that 2020 for you?
Isn't that 2020?
When I left the desert, Wayfair was just an overpriced, shitty, Boston-based, you know, online retailer.
Halfway through my drive, I found out they were potentially selling overpriced cabinets named after human trafficking victims.
About 72,000 people had tweeted about it on Twitter.
And Newsweek, it's prompting Newsweek and other media outlets to contact Wayfair and get a response.
Wayfair, of course, claims that these cabinets are not placeholders for missing children, but they are industrial storage cabinets that are priced accurately.
I mean, these cabinets are $13,000, $14,000, $15,000, but it is very creepy.
The names of the cabinets are missing girls.
Like it says Samaya 5, shelf, Yaritza, storage cabinet.
What is that?
But somebody on Twitter said these are placeholders.
They're priced very high because they're not supposed to be sold yet.
And that the names you could find almost any name because, similar to the way they sell keychains with everybody's name on it, they are trying to establish some type of database with names or something.
I don't understand online commerce that much, but it is a little creepy that you can find, you know, and they're doing it with pillows too, where you can find a pillow that's being sold for $10,000.
And then next to the pillow is the name of somebody who went missing.
That's strange.
Supposedly, if you put in the serial numbers to these ads, it goes to a Russian goes to Yandex, which is a Russian search engine, and you get pictures of children.
However, supposedly you can do that literally with any group of numbers.
We'll take you to Yandex and to pictures of children.
That's nice, isn't it?
Any group of numbers apparently leads you to inappropriate pictures of children on the Russian search engine Yandex.
So isn't that 2020 for you?
You leave the house, and you're in a viral human trafficking conspiracy on the way down to Los Angeles.
can't even take a summer drive without falling into a rabbit hole of human trafficking.
You just can't do it.
Don't even try to do it.
You won't be successful.
How are you supposed to enjoy the summer when everyone turns a human trafficking conspiracy?
And some of them are pretty fucking creepy and maybe they're weird.
I don't know what's going on.
I'm asking questions.
These are fucking creepy coincidences.
Now, somebody on Twitter was trying to explain it to me and maybe they're right.
I don't know.
I ask questions.
I withhold judgment because a lot of people on Twitter are wrong.
They are wrong about a lot of things.
I just asked a question.
I said, why is Wayfair selling $10,000 cabinets named after girls who've gone missing?
And why when they are questioned, are they removing all of those items from their online store?
And somebody responded, the cabinets have serial numbers that bring up suspect images of kids when plugged into sketchy Russian search engine.
But the same person said basically all of the names next to the cabinets, you could pretty much find any name because they're trying to build some database with names, direct marketing, whatever.
Who knows?
I just know it's summer.
And it's just, you got to just go out there and enjoy some fun summer activities.
Can't be cooped up with a human trafficking conspiracy for the entire summer.
Just can't do it.
No Right to Enjoy Your Job00:15:48
Got to get out there and enjoy yourself.
Go out to that, you know, beach that may be open.
I don't know if it's open or not.
I've rented a house for two months in the desert.
In the desert, you know, 110 degrees every day, a lot of UV light.
Coronavirus not living.
Many things not living.
The only thing that can live there is gays and Jews and tarantulas.
Those are the only things that survive.
Lizards, Jews and gays, not saying that Jews are lizards.
Don't go and play with the words.
Saying those are the communities that have thrived in the desert historically.
But I'm out there and I've got a nice home there for two months.
And a friend of mine called me and goes, you should have a party.
You can have a party.
What?
Party.
Forget coronavirus.
Forget the pandemic.
Forget that somebody ate a bat or a Chinese nano robot escaped from the defense biodefense lab in Wuhan, level four security, whatever.
Forget all of that.
I'm 35.
What party am I going to have?
What gathering of people would be appropriate at my age, given the current climate of the world?
Parties are supposed to end.
They're fun in the TikTok days when you're in your late teens, in your early 20s, your mid-20s, party on.
Fuck yeah.
Beer pong, let's get fucked up.
Blast the music.
We're going to live forever.
Have you seen or been to a party where people are in their mid-30s?
It is a nightmare.
It is a nightmare of anxiety-ridden people walking around all armed with statistics like they're cable news anchors trying to get their point of view out.
It's an absolute utter nightmare to have a gathering of people at your home when they're in their mid-30s.
Because there's two options.
Number one, if it starts to go the route of like everyone's really hammered and dancing and having fun, it's even worse because you're looking at all these people and you're like, God, these people are on the brink.
If you ever see somebody in their mid or late 30s really partying, really fucked up, really getting into it, it means they're on the brink.
It means they're about to get in their car and drive it into a school bus.
And if they're not fucked up and drinking, they're like feeling each other out, seeing who's done what with their life.
It's this weird, anxious jockeying for position.
How are you doing?
How are they doing?
And now everybody's all about politics.
Everybody wants to talk about politics.
If you invite them into your home, they want to talk about politics for hours and hours on end.
They don't want to shut up.
They come armed with talking points.
So while you're cooking a burger, you listen to your friend's girlfriend rattle off statistics about unemployment.
You don't need this.
This isn't fun.
There are no parties anymore.
Go away.
Everybody talks about, well, wearing masks, not wearing masks.
What about your unhealthy addiction to people?
How about that?
How about your disgusting and filthy need to be around other people all the time?
That is the problem.
Forget the mask.
Don't wear the mask and leave everyone else alone.
It is your fucking need to be in a group of people all the time that is impoverishing this country.
You.
You can't be alone.
You can't be in a relationship.
You can't get a hobby.
You can't do something without anybody else.
You need to be in groups of people talking about what?
Movies?
Stay home or go somewhere alone.
A party?
It'd be my worst nightmare.
A party of people in my backyard that I've rented to be alone and sit out in the desert and die.
That's what you pay for.
You pay to get the fuck away.
It's end times.
We're going to have an event.
We're going to grill hot dogs and talk about the anarchists in the streets.
There's nothing to do anymore, folks.
Get laid, get food, and get away.
The problem with this country is nobody can be alone for five seconds.
That's why coronavirus is spreading all over the place because nobody can just sit.
Everybody has to be in a large group of people.
I don't want these people in my home.
I don't want them coming in.
Forget their disease.
They're vectors of disease.
Forget all of that.
I don't want their thought.
I don't want to be bombarded by their thoughts.
When you're on the phone with somebody, you can get away.
Go, I got to take a shower.
I got to go.
Call drop.
Sorry.
Easy.
Boom.
They're gone.
The phone ends.
They're gone.
It was like they were never there.
If they're at your property, the whole thing's a fucking process of getting them in and then getting them out again.
Oh, good.
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What were you saying?
What were you saying about the comps and racism?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go on about that.
What was that?
Yeah, I know the potato salad is good.
What were you saying about the prison industrial complex?
Right, right, right.
I enjoy the party.
Party time.
Right now, I understand drug legalization.
No, we do need it.
Right.
No, you know, no, we need a multilateral coalition.
Yeah, pickles, please.
I want pickles on that.
How about no?
How about no?
Keep them at bay.
Keep them at bay.
Do a nice little summer alone.
I'm telling you.
Go get a shack somewhere and shuck oysters for three months alone.
Read a book.
All the shows are canceled, by the way.
All my August shows are canceled.
Salt Lake, Ontario, and Cleveland.
Sorry about that.
It's the way it is.
Those counties are spiking.
I'm not going to go.
I don't know if those clubs are going to be open, but I'm not going to promote shows confidently where I think there's a good possibility they won't happen.
So when I go back on the road, I'm going to go back on the road with a new tour name, dates that I know are actually going to happen, and it's going to be an official thing.
It's not going to be like dipping my toe in the water and coming out.
And also, comedy only works if you're doing it.
So if I'm not getting up every night at the comedy store and I'm not working the improv and I'm not working all these other clubs, I'm not in the right type of shape comedically that I need to be in.
So it's not fair to ask you to pay for tickets.
Now, I know a lot of people are performing on porches and the backs of pickup trucks and outside diners in parking lots because they are mentally ill.
This unmasks a lot of people as insane.
Okay?
Heroin addicts have more dignity than comedians right now performing in parking lots.
It's the fact.
It is a bad look.
It is fucking tragic.
Go online.
Stop with the imaginary gatekeeper that's keeping you from succeeding.
Go online.
All these female comics, who I want the best for, I want the best for.
I don't harass you.
I don't try to sleep with you.
I talk to very few of you.
Only millionaires.
That's the rule because I don't want to harass anyone sexually.
So what I do, many of them go online and they're like, I wonder if when comedy comes back, the gatekeepers are going to be the same.
The gatekeeper is your phone.
It's the internet.
What's going on is when you're about to do something funny online, does a man come in and smack the phone out of your hand?
Is that what's happening?
Because that might be a bigger problem.
That's a home invasion.
That could be battery.
But I think maybe some of you just aren't being that funny and you're angry because in your head, there's an imaginary person that's keeping you from the level of fame you feel you should rightly have.
Take some responsibility for your own life and do something enjoyable.
Do something for Christ one fucking time that other people enjoy.
Try that.
Try it.
Just try it.
It might be a bountiful, it might yield you some real good results.
Just for once in your fucking life, do something that someone else giggles at.
And perhaps that will take you to the place you want to go.
I don't know.
I'm just throwing out life advice because I want the best for everybody.
That's not only female comics.
Male comics feel that way too.
We all know male comics are losers.
We all know that.
Trust me.
If you doubt that, you could see him performing right now, you know, on a literal pile of compost.
We get it.
But I just, this was specifically, I saw a female comedian tweet that about the gatekeepers.
Everybody's with the gatekeepers.
There are no gatekeepers.
Go online and figure it out or don't.
It's not, it's not.
It's nobody else's fault.
You don't get, you know, Cameron Kasky, one of the children who we are listening to now because they were involved in the Parkland melee.
Cameron Kasky, go to his pinned tweet.
This is amazing.
His pinned tweet is this, Cameron Kasky again.
He goes, I've always wondered what a, quote, real job is when people tell artists slash creative people to get one.
I think I've boiled it down to a job you do not enjoy.
Correct.
Yes.
Get a job that you don't enjoy until you can have a job that you do enjoy.
That is pretty fucking simple, Cameron.
We all can't pay for a bunch of delusional psychopaths who think they're creative people.
If I thought I was a model, it would be wrong of me to force society to subsidize that pursuit.
It would be wrong.
I think I've boiled it down to a job you do not enjoy.
Correct.
You do not have a right to enjoy your job.
Okay?
That's not part of the game here.
I just want to enjoy my job.
I just want to make a difference and enjoy my job.
I was watching that show, and this underscores what's wrong with that generation of Zoomers is that it's a sum of the right ideas and absolutely none of the fucking grit and determination that you would need to make any of those ideas a reality at any point.
And this is just the problem with that generation.
And I don't want to sound like that guy.
I don't want to be like that guy.
That's why I don't shit on TikTok.
I don't shit on TikTok because it's not my place to shit on TikTok.
TikTok is 19-year-old kids.
They're jumping around.
Do I get it?
No.
Do I understand why people are lip-syncing songs that other people wrote or they're lip-syncing Donald Trump and Hollywood is saying that they are a genius?
I don't get it.
I'm confused, but I don't shit on it constantly because nobody needs a fat 35-year-old shitting on what kids are doing.
This is just what kids are doing.
Okay.
And a lot of my friends are like so excited about the TikTok ban.
All these like failed comedians are like, oh, the TikTok ban.
The TikTok ban.
Ha ha, kids.
It's like those kids never have to work again for a day in their life.
Like the TikTok kids that really established themselves on that platform have so much money that they don't have to do anything.
They have six figure deals, maybe seven figure with brands.
They have endorsements.
They're good.
They're good.
Like one of my friends from Long Island's like, kill those TikTok kids.
They're going to have to get jobs at McDonald's.
I'm like, no, I don't think so.
Many of them have more money than you will ever see in your entire life.
This is the same friend who was asked me if I was getting unemployment.
I'm like, we're doing okay.
The show is doing okay.
They don't understand what podcasts are in Long Island.
They have no idea.
They'll figure that out in 10 years.
I'm like, we have a podcast that's doing well.
How are you doing?
You can't perform.
So do you get to unemployment?
I'm like, yeah, I don't need it.
Oh, these TikTok kids.
These TikTok kids, they're going to learn a lesson.
Yeah, they're going to learn a lesson, huh?
Many of them have already learned the lesson and it's called They Are Rich.
And some of them will migrate to some other platform where they'll do more meaningless horseshit and make more money.
This, this, the very childish notion that people seem to have that it all evens out.
That's my favorite childish notion that people have.
Yeah, it all evens out in the end.
No, it doesn't.
In fact, statistically, it does not.
That's a case you could win in court.
Provably, it does not all even out in the end.
No.
No.
Mediocre, talentless hacks thrive, make millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars.
Talented people die alone in the street like dogs.
And somewhere in the middle, you figure out where you can etch out a career.
But this whole thing, like it just evens out in the end.
These TikTokers are going to be at McDonald's.
Yeah, I bet you're going to work at McDonald's before they do.
Trust me.
I can't, you know, I can't understand.
I didn't start a TikTok.
People upload clips from this podcast and put them on TikTok.
TikTokers Working at McDonalds00:12:27
I did not start one.
I did not really go on Snapchat.
I had an account for Minute and I didn't use it.
I didn't go on Vine.
I don't always jump on the new app.
Some people do.
Some people get a following doing that.
Chris Dulia got a following on Vine before he moved to Stand Up and whatnot.
I'm not saying him because it's, I'm saying he got a following on Vine.
What do you want me to do?
But I haven't gone on those apps and I stay away from those apps because I just don't, I don't, if something doesn't strike me immediately as funny, I'm not going to do it.
Nothing really on TikTok is that funny other than just crazy people, like random crazy people.
They're funny.
But, you know, people with the dancing is not, you know, it's just not funny.
Shut it all down.
If you're going to ban TikTok, get rid of all of it.
Ban Twitter, ban Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat.
Ban it all.
Let's go back to fighting with our families.
People that we know.
I'm for it.
I'm for a social media ban.
If we're going to ban TikTok because it's Chinese spyware, let's ban them all because they're American spyware.
Get them all.
What is it?
I like Mark Zuckerberg to spy on me and not these goddamn Chinese.
I want to get spied on by Mark Zuckerberg, that creepy alien.
I want him to sell my information, not these ChiComs.
Chinese communism is evil.
But I like the American surveillance state just fine.
Thank you very much.
I like my surveillance American.
Great
Of course very happy again that the the show is brought to you again this week by fucked Dot com which has decided to send these things to us to show to you which is great I am a skateboarder.
Many of you don't know that about me, but and what's cool about this is actually cool.
There's a syringe going into a rat, and the rat says, oh shit, not another fucking test, which is kind of fun.
So that is fun.
Imagine that as a person, and that's Bill Gates.
See?
We kid Bill.
But I'm a big skateboarder.
I love skateboarding.
Down at Venice Beach and Skate Park with my friends.
It's just SoCal life growing up skating, surfing.
Then there's this bandana.
Can you open that?
They sent us a bandana too, which is great.
And the bandana is for this is for the Crips.
There's the bloods in the Crips.
The Crips are blue.
And this is bandana.
Sex, cannabis, alcohol, Raspberry Snapple, Bruce Lee, cream slices, Linda Lovelace, Street Fighter, LSD, masturbation.
It's a bunch of cool things on this.
And so, I mean, I'm happy with that.
And then they have this.
So, you know, this is hype beast culture.
And, you know, I mean, it's every every every moment of my life has been on a skateboard, lived on a skateboard.
Every single moment of my life.
Every meaningful thing that's ever happened to me, I've been skating.
Love skaters.
Love everything about them.
Love surfers.
Love people that wear bandanas.
They're some of my favorite people.
You know, white guys with dreadlocks sitting in Venice Beach wearing bandanas skateboarding.
Many of them in their late, late 40s.
Love those people.
There needs to be more of them.
And so if you go to fuck.com, which is a site where they sell this stuff, it's sold out.
They sell out all the time because people want this stuff.
You know, people really like it.
They get into it.
There's no promo codes, no free shipping, no discounts.
I mean, that's how elite this stuff is.
But you can subscribe to the newsletter and follow on IG or Twitter.
They have some cool stuff on their website.
And we asked them to send us some of it.
And then this is what happened.
So, but I would still go to their website because there is some really cool stuff.
Maybe we'll in the future make some cool stuff with them.
I don't know.
I mean, where are the wheels?
They don't come with the wheels.
That's just the deck, and then you put whatever kind of wheels you want on it.
Oh, I escape.
I do like the rat getting the syringe.
I almost wish that was on the front, but I guess he can't.
I guess the cooler stuff always goes.
Every skateboard I had was a board that Tony Hawk gave to me because he thought that I was going to be the biggest name in skating.
And it's kind of a cool joke and a twist that I am not the biggest name in skating.
But what I did was important for the culture.
So if you go to their website, which is fucked.com, just sign up for the newsletter.
What is fucked?
Fucked is a company.
You know, it's a company.
Sells shirts and skateboards and cool stuff.
I mean, you know, people buy this and then they resell it.
A lot of kids making money reselling fucked because of the high resale value.
Noon store opening equals Wall Street opening bell for our buyers.
So they're buyers.
When that store opens at noon, everybody rushes to it.
And if you buy a thing, you probably sell it for a big markup, right?
Is that what this is?
Yeah.
So you sell it for a big markup.
And how cool is that?
Why not?
You know?
So this is not one of those things where you're, I'm like, hey, guys, here's how to get it for less money.
This is a great way to maybe get into the online e-commerce market by buying bandanas and then reselling them.
You know, and you could strategize.
Like a lot of people figure out how to strategize on how to cop an item.
Cop in quotations, meaning not the guy who shoots the unarmed black person.
Cop, meaning just to get items while everyone else is in a frenzy and getting cartjacked by supposed bots.
Everybody complains that the bots jacked them, but what really happened was they lacked strategy and they went in and got fucked over.
You don't want to do that.
You can figure out this is, you know, in all seriousness, this might be one of the only jobs left is buying these things and then selling them to like rich kids.
So it might not be a bad idea.
Sounds fun.
Maybe I'll do it live on the air.
One day we should do that live on the air.
Yeah.
We'll go into the fucked because these people don't know me.
I know beasts.
I know beasts.
Those fucking little kids.
I used to live up the house.
I'll grab a few of the beasts.
The hype beasts are like, what are they like?
They're like 12.
They don't speak.
They just have these big, big sneakers and like hats.
And they just stand on a line and they wait to get in to these stores.
So I'll just grab a few of them and give them like Adderall or something and fucking have them just run this whole table.
Have them run the table.
But we should do that live.
We should literally go get a few beasts and then go to the and go on to the fuck store and tell have them show us how to do it.
The hype beast.
They just stand there.
They don't say anything.
Fascinating type of person.
They don't really talk.
They just stand in a line.
They're all very like, they're like scared.
They're just like running through in their head what could happen.
It's like before I get on stage, you just stand up.
Or before like, you know, a runner or a swimmer, you're on the starting block.
You're getting ready to go.
These people are thinking about that, but on the other end of that, Belle is shopping.
And they're like, how do I shop effectively?
They want to make sure.
It's fucking crazy.
It really is consumerism on a level that is amazing when you see people with that level of dedication standing in the street getting ready.
And it's like, and they're off.
Here they go.
Here they go.
Here we are.
All right.
We got a little white one with an Asian one.
They're working the back of the store.
And then we got one coming to the side.
We got one whose father works at Paramount and he's having an affair and he dropped the kid off two hours ago.
That's we got.
And then we got another one coming in.
His mother dropped him off.
As long as he's not doing drugs, she's happy and she encourages this because he's learning about the internet.
All right, here we go.
We got another one coming now.
It really is, you could call it like a horse race when these little bums going to Supreme.
It's insane.
It is insane.
While we are talking about companies, Dickie's barbecue pit and rancher Mirage is running a human trafficking ring.
That is neither here nor there.
Go to fucked.com, F-U-C-T.com.
Okay, and a lot of kids making money reselling the fucked merch because of high resale value.
The fucked pop-up got shut down by the Po Lease.
That's how hot this shit is.
The beasts love it.
It is their life.
It is why they exist on earth is to go in and to get this cool shit.
They do have some cool bin Laden themed clothing, which I like.
I like that.
So go to fuck.com.
And is there a promo code or anything?
Just sign up for the website.
Sign up for the newsletter.
We did that.
You could read the newsletter.
I'm interested in this culture.
Get interested in it.
It's fun.
Why not?
Even if you're older and you can't relate to it, understand what's going on out there because there is some real economic opportunity.
It's arbitrage.
This is arbitrage.
Okay.
You might not be able to get into the natural gas market in Kazakhstan, but maybe you could get a few bandanas and flip them.
All right.
Fucked.com.
These are the dumbest.
Like if you've, if you, if you know a dumb person, you can, I can, I can tell you the three things you're going to say this week.
TikTok is Chinese spyware.
That's what dumb people say because we've all known that for months.
They'll say something about Ghelane Maxwell.
Again, dumb people, we've known all about that for months.
I don't know what to tell you.
I'm so tired of talking about Ghelane Maxwell.
I'm going to fucking kill her at this point.
Stop asking me about.
I know as much as you.
Waiting for Ghelane Maxwell Jail00:05:02
We're waiting and watching together.
Isn't that the fun of it?
No, nothing's going to happen.
Nobody's going to jail.
The royal family is not going to fall.
It's not going to be, you know, an unmasking of every elite pedophile in the world.
Sadly, maybe, you know, people like, well, I don't know.
It's 2020.
It's like, well, sure, but I'm just skeptical about that.
You know, I'm just skeptical because I've been waiting for that and everything else for 20 years.
I've been waiting here for 20 years for anybody to get caught doing anything.
Again, whatever you want, drug running, terrorism.
I mean, literally anything you want.
Anytime we've ever been lied to, I've been waiting for any comeuppance at all.
And nobody, I mean, nothing.
People just don't care after a while.
The QAnon people aren't going to care.
They're already trying to get rid of Trump.
The Supreme Court ruled that he's not above the law and that he's got to put out his tax returns.
Money has turned on Trump.
Money for a while was riding with him because everybody's 401ks are fat.
The economy was okay.
He was navigating us.
He kept us out of a few wars.
People were kind of like, okay, you know, now they're dumping him.
They're dumping him because the response to this pandemic, the economy is just in a state of Just, it's like when a wave smashes you into the sand and you keep trying to get up and then the wave keeps hitting you and keeps hitting you.
That's the economy right now.
Restaurants are opening, buying a bunch of food, then having to throw it out and closing again.
And so money and the suburbs, I talk to a lot of people out in the suburbs, they're starting to sour on Trump too because they're going, this is not good.
They're like, this is not good.
Trump will keep his hardcore supporters.
And I mean, Biden is a corpse.
So the only thing that might turn this around is a debate where Biden, you know, is in such a state of cognitive decline that he has to be taken out of the race.
But other than that, Trump is in trouble.
He's in deep trouble.
Because I think the institutional money and even the top Republicans, I think they're saying like, okay, we've had enough.
We've had enough here.
You've had your fun.
You've had your fun.
We have the pandemic and the civil war and the unrest, and Americans can now not travel anywhere.
They can't leave the country.
So thank you for coming.
We appreciate it.
We did have fun.
There were some moments of genuine levity.
We enjoyed it.
You seem to be enjoying it at a few points as well, sir.
But now I think it's time to move on and go back to someone boring and half dead.
And we can all agree that Joe Biden is boring and half dead.
And that's what we need to go.
We need to go back to where every situation in life is not a 24-hour cable news show, where a conversation with my aunt is not a 24-hour cable news show where I have to have statistics and talking points every time she picks up the phone.
And I'm like, well, actually, in Texas, the hospitalization, it's declined, but the death is, we can't do it.
We can't go on like this forever.
We have to go back to something that's more like normalcy.
We can't do it.
People are exhausted.
Everybody you know now is a pundit.
Politics is for losers.
Haven't we explained that?
Could that not be more clear to you?
Every now and then in politics, somebody gets in who's like a good-looking winner and then they become the president and then they try to change things and then they get shot in the head while him and his wife drive through Dallas.
But for the most part, the people that write about politics, the people that obsess about politics all day are losers.
They cannot get laid.
They have no friends.
They don't make any money.
They have zero capital anywhere in their life, financial, social, and they spend their time figuring out why.
Why am I a loser?
And then that leads them down whatever rabbit hole, whichever, wherever they're going to go.
And they're just losers.
Nobody wants to be these people.
You don't.
So we need to get away from the idea that people should be consumed all day with their political identity.
There's more to life.
There is more to life than politics, truly.
Not saying that you shouldn't fight for things you believe in, but you're also not fighting for anything you believe in.
Politics Cannot Be All of Life00:11:32
You're pretending.
So there's more to life.
Go out, take a bunch of shrooms, sit on a hill, have a good grilled cheese sandwich.
Pay someone to jerk you off at a bus stop.
I don't know.
It's not my business.
But there's got to be more to life than debating obscure German philosophers.
And we know what you're doing there.
Or fucking, you know, talking about critical race theory.
I'm sick of the free speech debate.
I'm sick of that.
I'm sick of the cancel culture horseshit on both sides.
I'm sick of idiots like Ocasio-Cortez being like, real cancel culture affects anti-imperialists and Palestinian advocates.
And I'm like, bitch, you don't think Google and fucking Facebook are going to censor them?
You don't think they're going to censor Palestinian advocates?
What is wrong with you?
Bitch, weren't you fucking saying you were Jewish the other day?
She pull up that clip where AOC, I don't know if you can even find it.
She's talking to some group and she says she's a little Jewish.
So it's like, cut it out, AOC.
Yeah, welcome to the tribe.
AOC's Jewish background.
Like, can we stop?
Yeah, she went and she was talking to, I think, a Jewish group and she says, you know, play this clip here.
This fraud.
People don't know about Britain Rico.
And one of the things that we discovered about ourselves is that very, a very, very long time ago, generations and generations ago, my family consisted of Sephardic Jews.
And it is the lion.
He's like, I know people.
I knew it.
I sensed it.
Look, she's chewing it up.
Pause that.
She's like, you see, he's Dyson.
He's sensitive.
These people are frauds.
What is wrong with you?
They are actors.
They are frauds.
She's claiming to be a bagel.
And then she's going to hang out with Elon Omar and read Mein Kampf.
They don't believe in anything.
They're frauds.
You people put your stock because she's hot.
If she looked like me, she'd be another loser socialist in her basement right now talking about Capital.
But she looks like her.
So she's on television every 36 seconds.
Let's not get it twisted.
She's full of shit.
She's in front of a Jewish audience and all of a sudden it's Jews.
And then the next time she talks, it's like, it's about the Palestinian advent.
Stop it.
You're going to let these people run your life?
You're on earth for a certain amount of time and you're investing in that.
You're investing in this?
These are the types of people you're investing in.
Or Trump was dancing with Epstein like this for 30 years and then decides that he doesn't know who he is.
These are the people that you're going to spend your time investing in?
What kind of perpetual state of fucking childhood Peter Pan syndrome is this?
Where you spend your entire fucking life listening to these goons?
All the fuck they want to do is get power and you give it to them so easily.
They all thrive on attention.
She then complains about cancel culture doesn't exist.
She's like, I've got a white supremacist television network shitting on me every day.
That's what she said on her Twitter.
You know, I've got a white supremacist now.
She goes, I've got a cable network and a white supremacist TV host that and all of their fans threaten me with death and everything like that.
Okay?
And I want to say something.
It is fun.
Here, I'll tell you exactly what she wrote.
She goes, I have an entire TV network dedicated to stoking hatred of me.
A white supremacist with a popular network show regularly distorts me.
This is fucked up.
Do you know what she's talking about?
She's talking about HGTV that attacks this woman constantly.
Go to HGTV's website right now.
HGTV has engaged in a pretty sick white supremacist campaign against AOC.
It is disgusting, and I don't want to be a part of it anymore.
And if you watch HGTV, you're part of the fucking pub.
Please stop doing screenshots that the audience can hear.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Look at the lineup of shows on this, this fucking dog whistle white.
Go to shows, please.
Can you handle that?
Go to shows.
What's on tonight?
It's all white supremacist television.
All they talk about is houses.
You know who owns houses?
White people.
And they bring decorators in to make them look even more white.
Okay, let's my lottery dream home.
Let's look at the, let's look at the fucking, let's look at the titles of the shows.
Utah Mountain Dream Home.
Huh?
Nelly and Pablo were married for just a few months.
I bet Pablo is white.
Nelly and Pablo were married for just a few months when they won $1 million in the Wyoming Powerball.
Now, the Wyoming Powerball is run by the Klan.
Now they can afford their dream home in the mountains of Utah, diverse, and they're looking for places big enough for their whole extended family, militia.
Interior designer David Bromstad, white supremacist, joins the couple in their house hunt along with their teenage niece, Shania, who has some ideas about what kind of house is suitable for her millionaire relatives.
Oh, I bet Shania has ideas.
This is the network that has been attacking AOC since she declared her candidacy to run.
And it's a little disgusting.
And I sympathize with her.
I sympathize with her.
Who is the white supremacist host that she's talking about on HGTV?
I'm trying to find out who it is.
Is it the Property Brothers?
Is it David Bromstad?
Yeah, this is it.
He is the host of his own television show, Color Splash.
What?
With David Bromstad?
As well as Color Splash Miami, where they just, you know what that show is?
They go up to people, they go, what color do you like?
And they go, what?
And then they go too late.
And then ICE puts them in a van.
That's Color Splash Miami.
It's called Ice Puts You in a Van.
He also hosts HGTV's My Lottery Dream Home, in which he helps lottery winners.
See, this is funny because obviously I'm trying to get around because I know the AOC is talking about Fox News and I'm saying she's talking about HGTV.
But what's even funnier about this is there is actually a show.
Ben, why do you always fuck up?
Stop touching it.
If I'm talking about something, why are you clicking off what I'm talking about?
This is your one thing here.
Please.
Jesus Christ.
Ben was working at a pet store two years ago and he's going to go back there.
He's going to go back to getting people fucking kibbles and bits.
Stop touching the fucking computer.
Christ.
He also hosts HGTV's My Lottery Dream Home, in which he helps local lottery winners find their dream real estate brand.
That's how bad things have gotten that they literally have to go to lottery winners now because no one has any money to buy any properties.
So it's like David Bromstadt is now going to be showing lottery winners how to buy a property because these are like garbage, white trailer trash who want to scratch off.
And now this guy is going to take them around and help them get a lake house.
They've probably got nine years left to live.
And David Bromstadt is going to show them how to get a property, my lottery dream home.
That's great.
It'll be my lottery leg soon.
Dr. David helps you choose your leg.
Congratulations.
You get a new leg.
People are going to sit home and eat popcorn and watch other people get operations.
My lottery kidney.
Next on HGTV, My Lottery Pancreas.
Where you get an operation.
You won the lotto.
You're entitled to a life-saving operation.
And we're all going to cheer and go, isn't that great?
Isn't that phenomenal?
But AOC is just a fucking, I mean, listen, man, I respect the hustle.
I don't hate her.
I respect the hustle.
I respect what she's about, but she's full of shit.
Hopefully you are voting for us on Tournament of Laughs, a show we are embarrassed to be taking a part of and an omen about what is to come on network television.
I mean, Tournament of Laughs is really the worst thing I've ever seen.
And that is saying something.
I mean, it is terrible.
And it reveals how stand-up comedians really outside of stand-up, the majority of them have absolutely no talent and should be kept in their home by an armed guard.
So many of them don't understand what sketches are.
They don't get it.
They don't understand the concept of a sketch or the concept of doing something funny outside of standing on a stage, getting drawn, you know, being drunk on a stage and asking somebody in the front row if they like Black Dick, which is, again, that is the trade of many stand-up comedians.
That's their act.
You ever fucked the, you ever like Black Dick?
You ever been with a black guy?
So now that they can't do that, although I imagine some of them are trying, they've submitted sketches to Tournament of Laughs, which is bad.
So if we win, it's going to be very embarrassing.
Vote for us or don't.
I don't care.
But I think it would be fun if we win and then something I've said comes out and True TV has to take the prize away and the executives that green lit the show are homeless.
That would be very funny to me only because I like goofy things.
I like fun.
That's all.
So if you want to vote for us on Tournament of Laughs, you can.
And by all means, you don't have to.
It is the summer.
I know you've got a lot going on.
We're in, what, round three now?
Yeah, round three.
Yeah, we're in round three.
Imagine that name, Tournament of Laughs.
Imagine the work that went into that name.
Those hardworking executives going, let's call it Tournament of Laughs.
How many Zoom meetings did that take before they came up with Tournament of Laughs?
Tournament of no laughs.
More likely.
Tournament of laugh.
Because maybe there's one funny thing that happens.
So we're just submitting sketches most of you have already seen before.
And if we advance, we'll have to make another sketch.
We were driving around an area of the desert thinking about a sketch to make.
Tournament of Laughs Debates00:13:39
We drove down a long winding road and there was a guy sitting on top of a mountain with a rifle and it looked like he was a lookout for something.
And I wanted to know if maybe there was a drug drop, something going on.
It did seem shady, right?
Oh, yeah.
He had a brand new or new enough pickup truck and then a tent.
So if he didn't have the pickup truck, I'm like, oh, maybe this guy lives here in that tent.
But because he had that pickup truck and he had the tent, I imagine that he was trying to maybe keep some things cool out of the sun.
And he was just sitting there with a rifle.
And then you got to look at him.
What did he look like?
He's half white, half Hispanic, Wrangler jeans.
And he was sitting on the highest rock with the rifle.
And there's no animals.
So he's not hunting.
There's nothing alive out there.
Yeah, there's nothing to hunt.
So it has to be.
I mean, we were, what, a mile down?
It was a long, I mean, it was a winding road.
It was a private road.
There was all kinds of signs.
And we stayed on it because I wanted to see the end.
I wanted to see where it led to.
You know, I wanted to see at the end of that where, you know, what's going on there.
But we were dissuaded by the fact that we did see the guy.
We got to the gate.
We turned around.
And there was just a guy there.
And I think he had a rifle.
He did.
Interesting.
Anybody with any information on that, call Crime Stoppers.
Can you imagine people that call Crime Stoppers?
New York City now descending.
Get some New York City stuff up.
It is descending into a hellscape very quickly, apparently abolishing the police, not the greatest idea, or cutting their funding, which is essentially just cutting the amount of cops that are out at any given time.
Yes, areas are often overpoliced, and the police are poorly trained, and many of them are idiots.
We've discussed that at nauseum.
But a 19-year-old man was fatally shot and another man wounded early Sunday in Brooklyn, part of a violent weekend spree that saw 64 people shot in New York City.
64 people shot over the weekend in New York City.
It surpassed 400 shootings in the first half of the year for the first time since 2016.
And with 528 by the end of last month, the 205 shootings in June were the highest for that month since 1996.
So in a month, we're back to 1996.
It'll be fun to see how far back we can go.
Maybe we can go back to 86.
Maybe 76.
But I mean, you're erasing 20 years of progress there.
There's a lot of factors.
You had a lockdown.
I mean, the economy is in the worst place it's been.
And the stock market obviously is fake, so it's not reflecting that.
But I mean, the joblessness is, I mean, every day.
Look at the unemployment numbers in New York only.
Just Google New York unemployment.
I'm curious.
Because there's also an economic reality here that is pretty unescapable.
Is that millions?
Oh, percentage.
So New York State, in May and April, they have the numbers up.
We're looking at 15% of the state unemployed.
New York City, 18% in May, 15% in April.
This is a big problem.
And then there's a wave of evictions coming too.
Get on that.
Just look at the evictions.
There are millions of people.
I think there's 7 million people in America that are about to be evicted.
I believe that.
If something isn't done to either extend, yeah, looming evictions may soon make 28 million homeless.
What did I say, 7 million?
Well, that was a lofty estimate, wasn't it?
What a rose.
Let me take off my rose-colored glasses.
28 million people homeless in the U.S. if they don't do something, if they don't freeze these evictions or, you know, put out universal basic income.
10 million people lost their homes in the Great Recession.
So just to give you an idea, this is almost triple that.
And we're just getting started.
So 10 million people lost their homes in the Great Recession.
And I should have a party.
We should have a party.
Who's going to bring the dip?
Are you going to bring the dip or should I have it?
Let's grill some dogs.
28 million Americans being evicted.
One acts.
Are you going to throw a rager?
Let's throw a rager.
Yeah, that's what we'll do.
We'll go to all the 30 million foreclosed homes and have a rager in the backyard.
Go down a little bit here.
Ben's now afraid to touch the computer because I yelled at him, but he has a habit of doing it where I'm talking about something.
He just, he moves on to the next thing because he's lost interest in the thing that I'm talking about.
But his job is to anticipate what I'm going to do and stay there like Jamie Vernon.
See, Jamie Vernon is the standard for podcast producers.
He's never wrong.
And now Joe goes, Joe goes at a more relaxed pace than I do.
My pace is frenetic.
So I need somebody who's a little bit more frenetic.
But Joe also goes to a lot of different places.
And Jamie's very, very quick.
But what Ben does is Ben just decides in the middle of the HGTV thing that I'm done talking about it and that I have to move on because he's had enough.
Is that what happened?
I thought you were going back to the AOEC thing.
So I was trying to stay with you.
Now, why not open up two things at once?
I did.
I went back right here.
And then I jumped back.
Yeah.
Okay.
But you had to be yelled at to go back to what we were talking about.
I was being very bad.
He's just, he's gotten very, very comfortable.
And he doesn't understand that he needs to always focus and be at the top of his game.
He doesn't understand that.
Every minute, he thinks he's on a golf course.
This isn't that situation here.
Okay?
We've got to be tough.
They're going to come for us at any minute, these motherfuckers.
How is the eviction crisis brought on by the pandemic compared with the 2008 housing crisis?
This woman says, we've never seen this extent of eviction in such a truncated amount of time in our history.
Just let, okay, we can go.
Just let the people stay in their homes.
The government should come in, pay off the mortgage banks, pay off the homeowners, and let them stay in their homes.
And for all you free market capitalist libertarian types that are against that type of action, I hope your home burns down.
Because when 30 million people are in the street, I hope you enjoy what happens next.
Because I bet they're not going to talk about what went on at the Mises Institute.
I bet they're going to have a little fun.
I bet they're going to grab some weapons and have a little fun.
Light it up.
Spark it up.
If you make 30 million people homeless in this country, they're going to burn the country down and they won't be wrong.
So if you don't think it's necessary to help keep some of these people in their fucking houses, you're out of your fucking mind and you have a very short-sighted view of things.
Your theories don't matter at this point.
Soon it's going to go back to the old theories where it's like, if somebody clonks you in the head with something and you don't stop them, you're dead.
Those were the old theories when a guy would just hit you in the head with a rock and take your wife and whatever you had, not that you had a wife.
You know my point.
Those are the old theories that we're going to go back to.
And no amount of, you know, economic theory is going to stop that.
People are tired and they're really tired of debate.
They're tired of debate.
You're going to get canceled the old-fashioned way because people are going to start burning down the suburbs.
You're just going to start burning down homes if you make 30 million people unemployed.
I mean, am I wrong?
Maybe I'm wrong.
I don't think I'm wrong.
That's coming.
It's coming.
We're heading towards civil war.
But are you going to have anybody over?
Are you going to have a party?
Do you want me to bring anything to the party?
Yeah, a gun.
You bring a gun to the party and give it to me so I can keep it, please.
And bring jobs for 30 million people if you're on the way to the party.
Bring jobs for 30 million people if you have them.
And some ice.
The head of Goya Beans went out and said he liked Trump, by the way.
Who the fuck eats Goya beans?
Mexicans, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I've never eaten a Goya bean in my life.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they're all upset because the CEO of Goya said, we're lucky to have a leader like Trump.
Listen, a lot of Latinos like Trump.
I don't know what to tell you.
I'm sure I've eaten Goya beans that others have made for me.
I just have never made a Goya bean.
This is a Latino community issue completely.
This has nothing to do with me.
I eat the Bush's baked bean, the grilling bean, the grill style.
I don't eat the Goya beans.
Okay, well, how do you make them?
What do you put them in a bucket with Lysol?
Racist joke.
It's a racist joke.
What'll it mean for my career?
Yeah, Goya.
He loves Trump.
Let it be.
Whatever.
After experiencing a tremendous surge in popularity during lockdown, declared by the cut as boom time for beans, beans now face a devastating setback.
Goya, notorious and beloved grocery store bean purveyor, creator of finally crafted lacumes that you don't have to be on a waiting list for, is now the subject of a boycott after the company's CEO lavished praise on President Trump.
Can we get the video up of him lavishing praise on Trump?
By the way, if you think Goya beans bad, the guy that runs Bush's baked beans is hiling Hitler somewhere.
You want to talk about a white supremacist?
The guy that's running Bush's baked beans is 100% at Charlottesville with a torch.
If the Goya Bean guy likes Trump, the Bush's bean guy thinks Trump is a liberal cuck.
Mr. Goya.
All he said, I don't think we need to get it.
All he said is that we are blessed to have a leader like Trump.
Make your shopping decisions accordingly.
So, hey, all you poor maids that were buying Goya beans, now buy lobster.
Go to the butcher and get a nice cut of meat.
Because that's how boycotts work.
So next time, remember, when you get off the public bus and walk into the grocery store, don't purchase the 99 cent Goya bean.
Go and get some Chilean sea bass and eat that instead.
Maybe Goya beans are tasty.
I really never had them.
I've had them.
They're pretty bland.
It's just a red kidney bean style bean.
A lot of protein, fiber.
What the fuck are we even talking about in this country?
What do they do with them?
Do they dress them up?
The Latin cultures must do something to them.
Salt, pepper.
What is the CEO of Bush's Baked Beans saying about Trump?
Jesus Christ.
CEO of Bush's Big Beans is definitely like V gets invited to the Rose Garden.
He's definitely going to be like, Mr. President, we're a watt country.
I love my watt brothers and sisters.
Duke, come up here.
And then the dog gets up.
They're like, Duke, what's going on?
Then the dog puts his little paw up.
I wouldn't, I'm not going to do the Hitler thing because then they're going to throw us off YouTube.
They're not going to understand that it's a joke.
And then I'm going to have to explain to a lawyer that I was pretending to be the Duke, Duke, the dog from Bush's Big Beans, saluting Hitler in the Rose Garden.
And I'm going to have to explain why that is.
Then we're going to have to contact people and it's going to go be a back and forth and be a real issue.
So I'm not going to do that.
But just imagine, just imagine that, how satirical and lovely that would be.
The dog from Duke, the dog from Bush's, hiling Hitler in the Rose Garden.
And then the Bush's people having to address that.
They have to go, well, Duke is no longer our spokesperson.
We don't know what Duke was doing.
And then a lot of people are going to be like, I think Duke was raising his hand to ask a question.
Duke was just trying to ask a question.
And they're like, no, it was pretty clear that Duke was hiling Hitler.
And they're like, no, we don't think so.
Duke was asking a question.
And that's what he was doing.
And then it would be a debate.
But I wish everybody at Goya Foods the best.
Duke Bush Hitler Controversy00:08:28
And, you know, but a lot of Latinos like Trump.
I don't know what to tell you.
I think he got 30% of the Latino vote.
The Latino Latinx.
Latinx.
Sounds like a slur.
Latinx.
Latino support for Trump is a problem for Democrats.
That was from February.
He got 28% of Latino voters supported Trump.
30% support him now.
30% of Latinos are apparently white supremacists.
Man.
What are you going to do, folks?
I extended my rental now.
I'm there to, I'm in the desert until September 1st.
We're going to try to do something fun.
We'll do maybe a live, live in the desert show or something.
I don't know.
Like something, something.
We want to get out of the studio for a minute.
We're thinking about a studio redesign.
It's a little bleak.
It's a little dark.
We know.
We're trying to liven it up.
A little more fun, a little more pep in our step.
It's just been a little difficult to get everybody on the same page.
But we're going to definitely put together a little bit more of a vibrant color scheme.
Maybe we'll go to the guy from HGTV and he can show us that we should sign up.
We should sign up.
That would be a great show.
HGTV guys remake Nazi podcast studios.
What a fun show that would be.
And it's just like these guys from HGTV that come out and they're like, so we really love the space.
And they're like, what's the show about?
And then these like, these guys in their basement are like, politics.
It's about politics.
And they're like, oh, okay.
It's like, what about politics?
And they're like, it's about some of the things we believe not being true.
We'd like a lot of red because we've taken the red pill.
Nazi podcasters getting a makeover from HGTV.
They're dealing in questionable content.
HGTV is here to give their Nazi podcast a push in the right direction.
You just need a splash of color.
You just need a splash of color.
You can't rant about the shapes of skulls in this musty den.
Make it nice.
Why not?
I do like HGTV.
You know, if you get into a real groove with HGTV, you can really just kind of watch it because you just imagine yourself living a bunch of these different lives.
You know, you're like, you can watch an afternoon of HGTV and basically say, you know, what if I lived in a South Carolina beach town?
What if I lived in Charleston?
You know, what if I lived in Michigan by a lake and I was that guy?
You know, what if I lived in the desert of Arizona?
Like, that's kind of what's fun about HGTV is like, you get to see these real people go and see real houses.
You know, this is not million dollar listing.
This is not like come see a stunning estate.
This is like real people that have choices and they and they live in these like somewhat decent communities and you kind of see what's out there.
You see what's out there.
And it's they're not a sponsor.
I'm just giving them a free ad.
But too much of it is now.
I like just watching the show where they go in.
Too much of it now is like, let's flip a house.
It's like, who gives a fuck?
Just show me things.
Stop telling me how to do something.
Stop telling me I'm going to start flipping houses, please.
Just show me different things.
Show me things while I eat an Oreo.
Stop instructing me how to be a real estate investor.
Just get me in and out of the houses.
Let me see shit.
Let me see shit.
Let me get to know these two pieces of shit that are wandering around, you know, Winnetka, Illinois, trying to find a property.
Let's just get in and out here.
I don't need for you to tell me how I'm going to take on a six-month-long renovation project.
I don't need that, HGTV.
But I do think it's fucked up that they attack Ocasio-Cortez.
And I hope she remedies that.
I hope, well, when she's our queen, I'm sure we will only have the networks that she likes, you know?
Just be, I don't know what it'll be, but it'll be something.
It'll be fun.
AOC.
She's a fun woman.
I'd love to have her on the show.
I'd love to have her on the show.
I do, I am disappointed in her a little bit.
Like Cynthia McKinney, I like because Cynthia McKinney went like hardcore, like we did 9-11.
She was a congresswoman, and she's like, we did 9-11.
She went wild.
And she just fucking, I think she lives.
Google where she lives.
Where does Cynthia McKinney live?
This is what happens when you go wild.
You got to like leave the country.
Where does she live now?
I feel like she lives out of the country, but I could be wrong.
Maybe we'll get Cynthia McKinney on the show.
She's wild.
She lives at Cali.
You're saying she lives in Stone Mountain, California?
At Link's Dead.
Dude, I think she's like somewhere else.
I don't know why.
She is a controversial woman.
Look what she's tweeting right now.
Go to her Twitter.
She says she's in Atlanta.
She was tweeting about Epstein the other day.
I forget what she was saying.
Wait, go back up.
Go back up.
She retweeted Trump.
She retweeted.
Trump goes, who thinks we should fire Dr. Fauci?
And McKinney retweeted that.
Oh, it's a fake account.
Oh, is it?
I think she thought it was real, though.
Yeah, okay.
That's a fake account.
Keep going down.
Cynthia McKinney is interesting, man.
She's right.
She's right at the point where the far left and the far right meet.
You know what that point is.
It's fucking awesome.
She's just awesome.
I don't know what she's saying.
I'm sure she said a lot of wild shit.
Don't at me on Twitter and be like, Yeah, you don't know what Cynthia McKinney said about.
She's saying, Don't take the vaccine for COVID-19.
Yeah, she's wild, man.
Cynthia's wild.
She's saying, Don't take that vaccine.
She's a little wild.
Listen to this.
She goes, Alan Dershowitz wins the lawsuit that seals forever the files containing the names of Epstein clients protecting all who are blackmailed by Epstein and Mossad as a result of sexual trafficking, pedophilia, and worse.
That's interesting.
And worse.
Throwing a few bones to the Q people.
She goes, They were blackmailed by Epstein and Mossad as a result of sexual trafficking, pedophilia, and worse.
What could be worse?
Obviously, it's the murder.
Oh, yeah.
Of the kids.
Right.
Cynthia McKinney, go down.
What's that?
What's that fucking photo?
Just a picture of her.
Dude, she's going full COVID truther.
She's full COVID truther now.
Yeah, she is.
Full COVID truther.
Is this her website, true news.com?
Go to true news.com.
Is that Cynthia McKinney?
I'll subscribe to this site every day of my life if this is true.
Please tell me it's like Cynthia McKinney interviewing Roseanne.
I'll never watch anything else.
Is Melania Trump a silent victim of Epstein's child trafficking network?
Cynthia McKinney COVID Truther00:12:04
Already, I'm like, great, let's read this.
Already, I'm in.
I'm already in.
Who's true news?
I don't know.
I don't want to play their stuff, though.
No.
This is the book they're promoting, Final Day.
Final Day.
10 Characteristics of the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we know it's all a scam that goes back to religion.
Yeah.
The QAnon shit is all a scam that goes back to lining the pockets of mega church pastors.
And a lot of those guys are only on the internet now, especially because of COVID-19.
So behind all the Q stuff is this real religiosity.
And a lot of it lines the pockets of traditional kind of right-wing Christian groups or people.
Very interesting.
It's just a new hustle.
They're like, it's not enough anymore to just tell people about the Ten Commandments.
We got to start weaving together this meta narrative, some true, some false, build this big political arc, make them feel like, you know, they are soldiers in this war, and then they're going to buy these books and give us money and contribute to the cause.
And I guarantee you that a lot of this Q shit is being backed by mega church guys.
It's smart.
See, that's where you got to get to in life, folks, where you're not outraged by that.
You just sit back and you go, it's smart.
Go, yeah.
If people were idiots and they needed something to believe in, and I could rebrand what they all believed in as something else and keep finding a way to fleecing them out of their money, you don't even get mad at it anymore.
You just go, huh, huh.
That's the reaction.
You don't get outraged.
You don't start sputtering and screaming like a crazy person.
You don't show up at somebody's house and tell them, you just say, you go, you know what's interesting?
You tell one of your friends at night.
You go, you know what's interesting?
Here's what I think.
And that's that.
And that's where it dies.
People that want to get involved in this are just going to get involved.
People want to give their money to these people or the Black Lives Matter people, you know, for example.
You want to give your money to them?
Give your money to them.
That's all.
They tell you what they want to do.
They're like, all right, this is not really about police.
It's about destroying the nuclear family and instituting Marxism.
And, you know, we want to do that through controlling speech.
And, you know, we want to abolish the police.
We want to let vigilantes run through the streets.
We want to take everybody's private.
I mean, that's what the abolish the police is about.
Instead, let's start taking people's shit that's not ours.
Everybody's like, I wonder what the abolish the police is about.
It won't work.
It's not supposed to work.
It's going to work for the people who are going to take your shit.
It's going to work very well for the people who are going to take what they feel is theirs, dummies.
Well, I don't know if it's going to work.
Let's abolish the police.
It may not work.
Oh, it'll work.
It's working already in New York.
They're not even abolished.
They just cut their money and crime is up.
Abolishing the police is about creating enough chaos in the streets that you overthrow the government and replace it with a Marxist government where everybody is bought off, everybody gets a certain amount of money, and everybody embraces some type of surveillance state.
And we all do this because we want the chaos to end.
Now, the people that want to bring about this revolution, are they going to be the people that survive to the other end of it?
Who knows?
But that is what they want.
They want to totally destroy capitalism and everything with it.
Private property, you know, your right to bear arms, your right to speak, your right to, you know, own and operate a business.
They want to get rid of all of that.
Your right to worship freely, your religion.
I mean, that's what they want to get rid of.
That's why I don't give a shit about this QAnon shit.
If you want to worship the church of QAnon, as long as you're not going and kidnapping people or fucking doing crazy shit, I don't care what you do.
It doesn't matter.
I'm only on this earth for a certain amount of time.
I can't worry about you.
That's your journey.
That's your journey of whatever you want to believe in.
I can't tell you.
I'm sure there's a lot of people that are thrilled believing in QAnon.
They love it.
Makes them happy.
Who am I to say what you're allowed to believe in?
But the BLM stuff does come from a place where they want everybody to be controlled.
And they're using racism as a way to suggest that nobody can have any freedom because the only freedom, you know, the only reason or the only way people use their freedom now is to be racist and to oppress other people.
So if you want to give them your money, do that.
Go ahead and give them your money.
I don't care.
You want to give the QAnon people your money?
Give them your money.
It doesn't matter, me.
It doesn't matter to me what you do.
It's completely immaterial.
But just know that that's who you're giving your money to.
You're giving your money to old school Marxists and you're giving your money to old school tent preachers, you know, mega church pastors.
That's all this Q shit is.
It's just a rebranding of that.
And they're just going to suck your money the way they've been sucking it.
And they're going to give it to Republican country club guys that just fucking, you know, make money and they don't really give a flank fuck about you.
And that's just the way that it's the same old story, folks.
Ain't nothing new.
That's the other thing that's frustrating about people that just really dive hard into politics.
If you're smart enough, your political arc should last about five years.
About five years.
Really smart people get it done in two.
They go, oh, I believe in things.
I believe in things.
Oh, so do these people.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Things are going to happen.
Or they go, wait, what's going to, wait, whoa, What's happening?
Hold on.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
This doesn't make any sense.
Why are they doing the things that the other people did?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I don't really care anymore.
I met somebody I like.
I had a sandwich.
All right.
Yeah, people do that shit.
Ha ha ha.
Oh, that was funny.
Well, you know, fuck it.
Only got a few years left on this earth.
Done.
That's the arc.
If you have any semblance of intelligence, any.
Go bang pots and pans for the nurses.
That's what you're doing.
All your political tweeting and talking, you're just essentially banging pots and pans for the nurses.
You're just banging a pot and a pan for AOC.
That's all you're doing.
Keep doing it.
Whatever makes you happy.
But I suggest, I'll make a suggestion to you.
At a certain point in your life, you just turn it off.
Turn it off.
Mute.
Turn it off.
Go do something else because you're not going to want to get to the end of your life.
You're not going to want to get to a point in your life where you've spent all of your time invested in a world that was created for you by algorithms.
You're going to want to turn that off and go somewhere else.
And I don't know, go kayaking.
I can't tell you what to do.
Go get murdered.
Doesn't it sound like it's more fun to get murdered?
Go get put in a burlap sack while you jog.
Go get tortured in a cabin and murdered.
It's better than tweeting at Nancy Pelosi.
Go get disemboweled by a really evil person.
I was going to say, dude, but I don't want to gender the murderer.
It's more fun.
You can't worry all the goddamn time about politics.
It's boring.
Trump's going to lose.
Biden's going to win.
Ellen's not going to channel.
I mean, you know, what are you going to keep doing?
All the people that get involved with politics lack any other discernible skill.
So what they do is they rev you up, they take your money, and then they don't do anything because there's nothing to really do.
The country is ungovernable.
And the only thing after this is going to look a lot worse than what we have right now.
It doesn't mean that like you shouldn't get health insurance and things like that.
I think you'll eventually probably get those things.
I'll think you'll get national health insurance.
It won't be good, but you'll get it as you should get it.
And there should be, you know, coordinated attempts to get those things.
But you can just vote, you could donate money and you could vote.
You don't have to live in a 24-hour cycle of opinion and rhetoric every single day of your life.
You can just vote for people that you agree with and then step back and then try to get things for yourself.
Get shit on your own.
Don't wait for the government to get you something.
Don't wait.
Good luck.
Talk to the people that are still waiting for checks for the beginning of this quarantine.
You know, good luck.
Go out and do something on your own.
Maybe you can't.
And, you know, and that sucks and that's okay too.
But like, you know, you're relying on this incredibly corrupt government of morally vacant human beings.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know what.
I don't know what to tell you.
You still think this is all still waiting on the check.
You're like, well, yeah, just we just abolished the police.
That'll fix it.
That'll fix it.
Just get rid of the police.
Yeah.
Society won't come apart.
Don't think it will.
No, we'll just get rid of the police.
We'll let everybody solve their problems on Twitter, social media.
Twitter will become real life, and then people will, the reply guys will be it in real life and they'll reply with a knife to your throat.
That's the way the reply, the reply guys on Twitter will become real.
And that's what many of you need.
Many of you need, like, we need to start seeing blue checks on Twitter who all live in cities get disemboweled.
We need to watch a video of some of our faves.
Some of our blue check favorites get disemboweled.
And when you see their entrails on the street, you go, hmm, this is not working well.
But they're the ones that keep clamoring for it.
So let it happen.
Let it happen in New York.
Let it happen in these cities.
Let these cities burn.
And let these people that have all embraced this idea, they got to live in those cities, man.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm the fuck out of here.
The fuck out of California.
I'm not going to pay 12% so that one day I can own a $6 million house that's the size of a storage shed in the Hollywood Hills.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
If you're living in New York City now, you're stupid.
Just leave.
If you're in L.A., you're almost stupid.
Just leave.
We're about to see a resurgence of other parts of the country right now.
Let these people stay in New York and L.A. Let them.
Go to a place, take it over, start a scene.
You know?
Go to fucking, I don't know.
Go to trying to think where you should go.
Go to Omaha.
Go hang out with, you know, go ask questions about the who took Johnny disappearance.
Go try to solve that case.
People DM me new leads about my guys.
Whatever happened to Johnny Gosh?
Good question.
I don't know where he is.
Wherever he is right now, he's tweeting.
He's probably retweeting AOC.
I don't even want him to come out of hiding.
I'm going to be mad he wasn't killed.
I'm going to look at his Twitter and start throwing up and go, I don't even feel bad for you anymore, you know?
Turn the Key and Leave00:03:22
Guaranteed.
And I get it.
He's probably tweeting apologize to police because he's probably like, where the fuck were the cops?
Because the cops, you know, are bad.
So I get it.
I get it, man.
Rogan made a good point.
It's like the real woke people are like those religious people at Game of Thrones.
Remember the last three seasons of Game of Thrones?
Everyone were those religious people were like the black hand or whatever they called it.
They just came in and they were like forcing everybody, putting everybody through those purity tests.
It's just getting boring.
We're talking about the same shit.
This culture has gotten nowhere.
It's just a death spiral of the same bad ideas over and over again.
So if you want to keep your sanity, you've got to get out.
You kind of got to get out.
You have to just turn the key, you know, and just get out of here because people are going to be talking about this shit in five years.
The only difference is whether you are listening to it or not.
That's it.
It's the only difference.
The only difference is going to be, are you going to be listening to it with a business or with a house or with a relationship or in a town you like?
Or are you going to be listening to it in a disgusting apartment with roommates and no money alone?
You know, that's the only difference.
Nothing will change.
Nothing is going to change.
Things are going to get worse.
They'll steadily get worse.
They'll have bounces of better, like, well, bounce, better, worse, better, worse.
But I, you know, we've been talking about, like I said, I was, you know, I was, I started listening to Alex Jones in maybe 1999.
I was on Alex Jones in the year 2020.
Very little has changed, I think, in 20 years.
I mean, it's still some version of the same arguments that people have been having over and over again.
You know, if you go back and look at the issues in the 2000 election, They're similar to the issues that we have now.
Economic and wealth inequality, cultural issues, gay issues, abortion.
You know, foreign policy is taking more center stage now than it was then.
That I will say.
Because we had a little break in the 90s from foreign policy being this dominant issue, and then it kind of came back again after 9-11.
But for the most part, it's been the same types of people making the same types of arguments over and over.
And it's the same power factions rebranding themselves.
You know, it's the same far leftists that are now pushing, you know, that have rebranded themselves a bunch of times.
And now they're pushing the Black Lives Matter stuff.
And it's the same people on the far right, really the religious right, Christian right, that have rebranded a bunch and they're now pushing QAnon.
I mean, this is just where we're at.
We're probably not going to, I don't know what, the only thing that will change any of this is technology.
It's the only thing that has.
The only thing that's changed anything substant substantively is the fact that we now see the effect that social media and smartphones have on society.
But other than that, intellectually, the ideas are the same for the most part.
Not any new ideas floating around here.
It's just the mechanisms by which they go out into the world are different.
Racist Restaurants Honest Talk00:14:05
You know, I can't, if I see one more fucking, if I see one more shitty cell phone, put your phone away, please, you rat.
Put your phone away.
Let people say something offensive to you.
Either punch them or go and fucking have a drink.
Realize they're mentally ill.
Stop taking your phone out to try to video somebody that's being mean to you.
This girl, by the way, that I went to high school with, did an article about how racist restaurants are.
Nice girl, black girl, dated a white guy for years.
Make of that what you will.
But she wrote an entire thing about how racist restaurants were and they're not that racist.
Go to eater.com.
I'm sick of restaurants being racist or something.
And I read this and I, and she's like a nice girl, but I'm like, I don't understand any of this.
She's like, I'm sick of, she goes, I will not keep my, yeah, this is her.
I'm through being silent about the restaurant industry's racism.
Keep going down here.
A few weeks ago, I watched my tattoo artist post an Instagram video about the racism in her industry.
And I saw this other person get up on her horse and demand change in the equestrian world.
Imagine that racism in the equestrian world?
No.
I can't imagine.
Are you saying that the equestrian world has some race and class issues?
As I wrote in my Facebook quote, the restaurant industry is extremely racist.
Its racism is inseparable from the history of dining out in this country.
Restaurants here flourished after the Civil War, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, we all know this, and I agree with her.
She's right about this.
The effects of discrimination have been everlasting.
You know, I get it.
People were denied loans, blah, blah, blah.
But so this is where it's weird because a lot of her examples don't strike me as racist, but go on.
I began working in restaurants in 2009 while attending grad school.
The first place I served was a corporate Southern Seam steakhouse on Long Island.
The corporate steakhouse?
Is she saying the corporate steakhouse is racist?
Oh, no.
We will hold her to a high standard of proof here because she's attacking an institution near and dear to our heart.
Not long after I started there, a coworker was fired for using racial slurs about a black family who was dining with us.
A restaurant's owner individually apologized to every black employee.
And the swiftness of his actions assured me that racism would not be tolerated.
Nice.
Corporate steakhouse, good, right?
That's good.
The following year, I began my career in fine dining at a popular seafood restaurant on Manhasset Bay.
I know exactly which one this is, Louie's in Port Washington.
I used to like Louis.
Food was okay.
I used to get really hammered there and drive home drunk all the time.
The staff was mostly B-I-P-O-C.
What does that mean?
By people of color?
I think so, yeah.
Bi, meaning black, indigenous people of color.
Let me see what that stands for.
I'm just curious.
Or does it mean they were all bisexuals?
Because that sounds like a fucking amazing restaurant to work at.
It sounds amazing if everybody in your restaurant is bisexual and everybody literally fucks everybody else.
I don't know why you would write an article complaining about it.
Okay, yeah, I was right.
Black, Indigenous people of color.
The restaurant had its issues, but during the two years I worked here, diversity was not one of them.
But when I returned to the, so, 2008, nine, everything's okay.
When I returned to the industry in 2018 after a six-year hiatus, I discovered that my previous experiences were anomalies.
One evening, while I was training as a server at a farm-to-table restaurant, I asked the trainer how she made recommendations.
She goes, well, they're Asians, so I recommend the octopus because Asians eat weird food.
Why is that racist?
I'm genuinely asking, why is that that racist?
I understand that you're making an assumption about people based on their culture, but is it completely incorrect?
Why is that?
I don't understand that's a big deal.
If she had said, if she said, I asked the trainer how she made recommendations and the trainer turned around to her and goes, well, I just take the child they threw in the water and make them eat that because they drowned their own children.
That would be racist.
Do you understand?
So if the trainer said that, that would be a little racist.
If the trainer said, by the way, if she goes, how do I make recommendations?
And I go, just take a fucking filet and yan and stuff it with fireworks.
They're not people.
That would be racist.
Do you understand?
If I said, how do you make recommendations?
And she goes, who gives it?
They're fucking insects.
That's racist.
But by saying, hey, they like octopus, they like weird shit, I don't get it.
Okay.
Excuse me, I replied sternly, which she didn't do.
Again, I love when people lie.
She tried to backpedal, saying something about how Italian guys also loved octopus.
Months later, I caught one of the managers and two servers discussing the treatment of black people as it relates to our work ethic.
The manager replied that there were times we were treated better than we deserved because of our skin color.
The two servers looked shocked, but neither corrected her.
Being the only black employee and server of color, I quit immediately.
Listen, that's shitty to do, and the manager should not have done that.
But that evening, the restaurant's owner and I had an honest conversation.
She advised me to not let ignorant people affect my wallet, and she had a point.
I was broke and living.
Yeah, that's the thing, man.
By saying that this is like the restaurant industry is racist, you've had a few, you've had a few run-ins with racist people, but it's also like, yeah, they're waiters.
They're waiters and waitresses.
They're not happy.
They're not killing it in life.
They're away.
I know where this chick worked.
She worked at Texas Roadhouse.
Yeah.
This is not the best and the brightest all the time.
Sometimes it is.
Sometimes people are, but a lot of servers are just at work in other jobs.
They're going to school.
I mean, I'm not excusing their racist behavior, but when we say the entire industry, and then we use examples from one, a few chain restaurants in Long Island, everyone's racist in Long Island.
I mean, Shortly, I stayed at the restaurant for a year and a half.
Shortly before my departure, one of my customers, a senior citizen, grabbed me.
He goes, you know what they say about black women?
He whispered in my ear, you taste like chocolate.
He then attempted to kiss me.
Well, this is, this is out of hand.
I pulled away, but I didn't want to hurt him.
What?
They didn't want to hurt him.
I could already imagine the headline, black server abuse elderly white man at a Long Island restaurant.
That's what they would write in Long Island.
So again, I walked away, but this time I cried in the hallway while my coworker consoled me.
I mean, he was an old dirtbag.
He was an old horn dog.
Black women are neither a fetish nor a fantasy in that the sexual harassment we offer experience.
Okay.
Yeah, but if there was a hot white chick with her tits out and she looked good, do you think this guy wouldn't have said something inappropriate to her as well?
Maybe not, or a hot Asian?
I don't understand.
Again, this is, again, she bumps into people that are racist here.
One time when I defended some guests whom one of these coworkers presumed were Jewish, he asked if I was a black Jew.
And this is Long Island, men.
Leave, move.
In response, I referenced, first, they came.
What?
Oh.
And expressed that I stand up for everyone.
And then politely told him to shut the hell up.
He did, but he continued to be openly racist towards me.
While the restaurant's clientele was generally kind, there were still middle-aged white men thinking they were Tupac.
Telling me I was the prettiest black girl they'd ever seen.
Is that racism?
And the white woman who felt the need to be down when I approached the table, hey girl, one of them told me.
Okay.
Hey, girl.
Hey, girl, is racism.
Now, I understand as he went to the table and like, yo, bitch, what's up?
Yo, where your man at?
Like, okay.
One said your makeup is on fleek.
We're trying to get lit.
And that's stupid, but it's funny.
It's like, I don't know.
I mean, they're drunk white, middle-aged Long Island women that are trying to relate to you.
Is this really that bad?
I mean, is that, aren't the Uyghurs in a re-education camp in China?
Imagine them reading this article.
Somebody saying, hey, girl.
I'm not saying that there isn't real racism out there that you're not a, but, but, I mean, this is great.
This is like if I said that I experienced homophobia and then my example of homophobia, that somebody asked me if I had a boyfriend or somebody tried to relate to me or was like, hey, y'all, it's bench or something annoying, but I don't think, I think we're just reading too much into it.
You know?
Well, I wish her the best.
I mean, I don't want it.
I don't want, we can be, we can get rid of that.
I don't want her to go through any problems, but I also just don't know if that's a, is that real racism?
Somebody says, hey, girl.
I mean, if she had said, I walked up to a table and there were five white women with dreadlocks and do-rags, okay?
And as soon as I approached the table, they made these gun signs like this.
And they were like, that's a different story.
That's maybe a different story here.
Maybe that's a problem.
Maybe that's a problem.
You know, I guess it would be annoying.
If I was working in one of these restaurants and I went to a table of straight guys and they all started acting gay, like they were like, stop it.
And they just like, yes, that would be annoying to me.
But my still, my bigger problem, I would go, why am I a waiter?
Bigger problem.
Why am I a waiter?
What's going on?
But yes, that would be annoying.
I'm conceding that would be annoying.
But that's not what it sounded like happened.
If somebody just went, hey, girl, your makeup's on fleek.
It's just some old white bitch.
I mean, your makeup's on flat.
You know?
Now, if she went over to the table and they were singing like spirituals, you know, it would be a problem.
Or if she went to the table and said, hey, can I tell you about some of our specials?
And one of the white ladies started singing, Old Man River, that old man River.
He must know something, but don't say nothing.
He just keeps rolling up.
Yes, that would be racist.
That would be wrong.
That would be odd.
Old man River.
Like she walked over and they all just started singing Old Man River.
Old Man River.
That's right.
You got to learn the difference between what is racist and what is not racist.
Like if I walked to a table and somehow knew I was gay, maybe they just see me sucking someone off and like I walked up to the table and they went into like a choreographed dance routine and just started stuffing like cocks in their mouths.
Like, yes, that would be homophobic.
You have to really pick.
We got to not hyperanalyze every situation.
Somebody said hello to you the wrong way.
Hello cannot be the problem here.
It just can't.
I was so nervous.
I was in that article.
She'd been my server multiple times at all of those restaurants.
I was so nervous I was in that article.
I thought she was going to be like a pretty well-known comedian who used to sell mortgages went to my restaurant drunk and said, hey, you want a house?
You'll sign anything.
You know how you people are.
Like that, I understand, like I was so worried that I had said something like that, but I didn't.
A decently well-known comedian had made very inappropriate comments to me, asked me to get him cocaine and then said, quote, can you call a cousin or something?
I was so panicked.
I was in that article.
I'm like, God, I hope I'm not in that article.
She's a good woman.
I wish her no ill will.
There's racists in Long Island.
I guess the best thing would be to leave Long Island.
I mean, that would be, we did long today, folks.
We went an hour and 45 minutes.
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It's good he did that part of the job today.
Ben is wearing the shirt and, you know, a lot of cool stuff happening.
There's no live comedy happening, folks, but you can always find this digitally.
New sketches coming out.
Go vote for us on Tournament of Laughs if we want.
It's such an embarrassment, but do it anyway.
I'd love to win that show.
And then they cancel TBS and it goes out of business.