The Tim Dillon Show - 170: 170 - Eat The Rich; They're Keto Part 1
Aired: 2019-10-20
Duration: 01:55:20


=== Trash Can Timmy's Fall (14:19) ===

[00:00:21]  Hi, I'm Timmy the Trash Can, and I love trash.
[00:00:26]  Popcorn boxes, pops, and candy wrappers.
[00:00:30]  Mmm, they all taste so good.
[00:00:33]  Instead of throwing your trash on the floor, won't you please give it to me?
[00:00:38]  Thank you for considering your fellow patrons.
[00:00:43]  It's apples.
[00:00:45]  Apples have a ton of sugar.
[00:00:47]  Shut up.
[00:00:49]  It's the fucking.
[00:00:50]  Are we recording?
[00:00:51]  It's the fall.
[00:00:53]  Yeah, it's the fall.
[00:00:54]  It's the fall.
[00:00:55]  Look, my ketosis doesn't like know it, you know, that it's a wonderful, like, I'm going leaf peeping, and I'm fucking leaf peeping.
[00:01:04]  Yeah, like that's when the leaves change.
[00:01:05]  How did you make it sound filthy and dirty?
[00:01:07]  That's what the title is.
[00:01:08]  That's something a rapist would do.
[00:01:10]  Let's go leaf peep.
[00:01:11]  I want to go leaf.
[00:01:13]  I wouldn't let you near my children if you're like, it's a nice fall day.
[00:01:18]  We're going to take them leaf.
[00:01:20]  Leaf peeping.
[00:01:22]  Sounds like everything you do is like peeping Tom.
[00:01:25]  We're going to go leaf peeping and then we're going to go skull fuck some pumpkins.
[00:01:30]  You ever fucked a pumpkin?
[00:01:31]  No.
[00:01:32]  I never fucked up.
[00:01:32]  It's too big.
[00:01:33]  I'd feel like my dick was too small.
[00:01:35]  I never fucked anything.
[00:01:35]  They're huge.
[00:01:36]  Like an object-wise.
[00:01:38]  I'm trying to think what I fucked.
[00:01:39]  I haven't fucked anything either.
[00:01:41]  And I'm kind of disappointed by that.
[00:01:44]  Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I think the most ever done is fill a paper towel with some hand lotion.
[00:01:50]  Look at this.
[00:01:52]  Dude, these kids are retarded.
[00:01:54]  Oh, yeah.
[00:01:54]  She's just literally like press-ups against the wall.
[00:01:56]  She's at Denny's.
[00:01:57]  They eat free here.
[00:01:58]  Kids eat free?
[00:01:59]  What are you doing?
[00:01:59]  Kids on Sunday.
[00:02:01]  Oh, Sunday and Sunday and Tuesday, 4 p.m. to 10 p.m.
[00:02:05]  Oh, so we're in Ray's shithole of a town.
[00:02:09]  This is not my town.
[00:02:10]  This is the town adjacent.
[00:02:12]  We're in Long Island.
[00:02:13]  We're on my way to my.
[00:02:14]  Oh, the LA Fitness over there now.
[00:02:15]  I haven't been here in a while.
[00:02:16]  Ray has accused me of thinking that his town was shit.
[00:02:20]  And I do, but now Ray's gonna prove that I'm wrong.
[00:02:25]  This is a shopping center I went to a lot as a kid.
[00:02:28]  And what did you do there?
[00:02:30]  I went to the GameStop and the supermarket.
[00:02:32]  And yeah, I didn't really hang out.
[00:02:35]  Oh, the Wendy's there.
[00:02:37]  That was nice.
[00:02:37]  The Wendy's is still here.
[00:02:38]  This is this McDonald's coming up I worked at.
[00:02:41]  I worked at S. McDonald's.
[00:02:42]  How long did you work at McDonald's?
[00:02:44]  Six months.
[00:02:45]  Yeah.
[00:02:45]  I think I might have mentioned that, but I had a, I wasn't good at first for a while.
[00:02:49]  I was a you know cashier and I was bad at cleaning and it was a mess.
[00:02:53]  And my boss came up to me once and told me, Hey, Ray, come over here.
[00:02:57]  I want to show you why everything you clean looks like ass.
[00:03:02]  He said that, literally.
[00:03:03]  Isn't it great when someone at a shitty job pulls rank and goes, there is a good, there's a right way to do this.
[00:03:08]  But he was right.
[00:03:09]  And look, you take, I had the rag all bunched up, and he said, you spread the rag out, more surface area.
[00:03:16]  And I used that knowledge when I worked at the morgue and I had to clean the brain matter off the plat the platter thing when I was taking pictures.
[00:03:24]  Why did you leave the McDonald's?
[00:03:25]  Were you fired?
[00:03:26]  I was just kind of tired of working.
[00:03:28]  I mean, I didn't really.
[00:03:29]  It was 15.
[00:03:30]  I didn't really need the job.
[00:03:33]  I'd gotten into kung fu movies and anime at the time.
[00:03:36]  I wanted to devote more time to that.
[00:03:40]  How did you quit?
[00:03:40]  Did you tell me?
[00:03:41]  I went to my store manager and he said to me, Where else are you going to go?
[00:03:47]  Right?
[00:03:47]  Like, is it.
[00:03:48]  I love that at McDonald's, and you were 15, but he still knew there was no hope.
[00:03:52]  He's like, where else are you going to go?
[00:03:54]  Look at me.
[00:03:56]  You see that fryer?
[00:03:57]  That's your destiny.
[00:03:58]  I wasn't allowed.
[00:03:59]  I wanted to work the kitchen.
[00:04:00]  They wouldn't let me.
[00:04:01]  They wouldn't let you work the kitchen at McDonald's.
[00:04:05]  Well, a couple times I was able to do it, but they thought it was too much of a clutch.
[00:04:09]  They thought you would fuck up the food delivery system at McDonald's.
[00:04:14]  One time this guy choked me.
[00:04:16]  What?
[00:04:16]  Well, we were doing this kind of weird.
[00:04:18]  I don't know.
[00:04:18]  You get bored when things are slow.
[00:04:20]  And we're doing a little ninja.
[00:04:22]  He'd walk by.
[00:04:22]  He'd be like, give me a little ninja swipe.
[00:04:24]  Do that.
[00:04:25]  It seems weird.
[00:04:26]  But the point is.
[00:04:27]  Like a karate chop?
[00:04:28]  Yeah, something like that.
[00:04:29]  When he'd walked by and he'd karate chop you because it was slow and nobody was eating cheeseburgers.
[00:04:33]  Something like that.
[00:04:34]  So one day, he was older than me and taller and bigger.
[00:04:38]  And one day I got behind him because I was keeping the joke going, the thing going.
[00:04:43]  And I got behind with a rag.
[00:04:44]  And he's like, I didn't really choke him.
[00:04:46]  I went to like, oh, grab.
[00:04:47]  I'm like, ah, yeah.
[00:04:49]  But he, apparently, had just gotten jumped the night before because that's how he was rolling.
[00:04:53]  And so he was all on edge.
[00:04:55]  So he just like flipped me over and started choking me out and punching me.
[00:04:59]  And it's pretty traumatic.
[00:05:02]  I went to this great swing round.
[00:05:03]  Hold on.
[00:05:04]  Is that why you ended up leaving the job?
[00:05:06]  Because you weren't beaten?
[00:05:07]  No, I was just.
[00:05:09]  How long after the beating did you stay in the job?
[00:05:12]  And was it awkward?
[00:05:13]  Four months.
[00:05:13]  No, he apologized afterwards.
[00:05:15]  It was a misunderstanding.
[00:05:16]  He thought there was a guy jumping him.
[00:05:17]  Is this Ed Mangano's funeral?
[00:05:18]  Huh?
[00:05:18]  Mangano funeral?
[00:05:20]  Ed Mangano was the corrupt Nassau County executive who was, I swear to God, taking food bribes.
[00:05:27]  I believe it's Ethiopian place over here.
[00:05:28]  He's being bribed with deli platters, him and his wife, and they were indicted.
[00:05:33]  Whatever happened to Ed and Linda Mangano, right?
[00:05:35]  Did they actually get charged?
[00:05:36]  I mean, they were like, they were getting their floors done with town money.
[00:05:41]  She got a no-show job as a food tester.
[00:05:44]  Like they were taking bribes of Purge.
[00:05:47]  Tastes good.
[00:05:48]  Yeah.
[00:05:49]  It's fine with us.
[00:05:50]  Could use a little more bacon, if you ask me.
[00:05:53]  I think the tuna salad lacks mayo.
[00:05:56]  It's a little dry.
[00:05:57]  More.
[00:05:58]  More, please.
[00:06:00]  How much am I being paid?
[00:06:02]  $400,000 a year.
[00:06:04]  Sounds fair.
[00:06:05]  I said Boy Scout meetings in that school.
[00:06:08]  Now, I went to this music academy.
[00:06:10]  Music Academy, right?
[00:06:12]  The music store.
[00:06:13]  Music Academy?
[00:06:15]  Did you just say?
[00:06:16]  I think it used to.
[00:06:17]  You went to this music academy.
[00:06:18]  You just passed a shitty little building that says music on it, and it's clearly just like a music store for losers who want to buy guitars and sit around strumming a guitar.
[00:06:29]  It's true.
[00:06:29]  This liquor store, you mean?
[00:06:31]  Crazy Billy's.
[00:06:31]  Yeah, this was blown up.
[00:06:33]  Or he blew it.
[00:06:34]  Wait, what?
[00:06:36]  Allegedly blew someone else's liquor store up or price fixing.
[00:06:40]  One of those two things.
[00:06:41]  Not Crazy Billy, right?
[00:06:43]  Oh, we're going to pass by Mega right here.
[00:06:46]  Yeah.
[00:06:46]  Here we go.
[00:06:47]  We're going to pass by.
[00:06:48]  I like this debit.
[00:06:49]  Same as cash.
[00:06:51]  Now, what are we at?
[00:06:52]  Where do you need a rest?
[00:06:53]  Oh, my God.
[00:06:54]  Dude, this is one of the shittiest bars in the whole world.
[00:06:59]  Take a look at this to the left.
[00:07:00]  This is the famous You Need a Rest.
[00:07:03]  That is a little blood box.
[00:07:07]  That's like the Lisa's Lounge of fucking Deer Park.
[00:07:10]  I never went there, but the hoarder woman who used to have a hoarder house on my block would hang out there.
[00:07:14]  And I think she would, you know, go home with guys.
[00:07:17]  But her house was condemned because the floor was a little bit of a broken.
[00:07:20]  Do you forget that even the shittiest bars are places people go to fuck?
[00:07:25]  Right.
[00:07:25]  You forget that.
[00:07:26]  What is this place?
[00:07:27]  Is a car wash here?
[00:07:28]  Yeah.
[00:07:28]  I haven't been here in years.
[00:07:30]  You forget that as shitty as a bar is and as disgusting as the regulars are, people are using it as a place to get fucked.
[00:07:40]  Was that even the case at Lisa's Lounge when you went there?
[00:07:42]  Kind of, but it was kind of a drug bar, but I wasn't trying to fuck anyone.
[00:07:46]  So the thing is, if you're not trying to fuck anyone there, you don't know who's really fucking.
[00:07:49]  Like, you get an idea of that.
[00:07:50]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:07:51]  But you get an idea, but.
[00:07:53]  Well, you watch those videos from the guy, the bangle.
[00:07:57]  The bagel guy.
[00:07:58]  And some of his videos take place at some of these Long Island bars.
[00:08:01]  Yeah.
[00:08:02]  And he's with women and they're.
[00:08:03]  And it's all these real bad, ugly looking guys.
[00:08:06]  And they're just like, you know, trying to pick up shit.
[00:08:09]  It's just terrible.
[00:08:10]  It's real sad, man.
[00:08:11]  And Stone Cole here.
[00:08:13]  They banned him on Twitter and then he just got back into Twitter and he just followed me again.
[00:08:16]  Their park bowling is been changed to strike lanes.
[00:08:19]  Strike lanes.
[00:08:20]  Strike those pizzas.
[00:08:20]  Look at this dominoes.
[00:08:21]  Yeah, it's a real charming, right?
[00:08:22]  Real fucking charming.
[00:08:24]  Is it Long Island Avenue?
[00:08:25]  It's more of an industrial area.
[00:08:26]  Yeah.
[00:08:27]  Don't say my street name, by the way.
[00:08:29]  I'm not going to say, who's coming to see you?
[00:08:31]  I don't even live here anymore.
[00:08:32]  I'm just saying.
[00:08:33]  Like when we get there, don't like, you know.
[00:08:34]  I'm not going to say your street name.
[00:08:37]  It's just, you know.
[00:08:38]  You think TMZ is going to show up tomorrow?
[00:08:40]  I just don't want my mom getting fucking assaulted by a fan.
[00:08:42]  Yeah, that's well, to be honest with you, that's not the worst.
[00:08:45]  It's actually not the fucking most crazy concern with our fan base.
[00:08:49]  They just go and assault your mother.
[00:08:52]  Hey, man, that'd be really funny to assault your mom and punch her in the face.
[00:08:56]  Left, right.
[00:08:57]  Left.
[00:08:59]  Careful.
[00:09:00]  Careful.
[00:09:01]  Whoa.
[00:09:02]  All sorts of things.
[00:09:04]  I know what I'm doing.
[00:09:05]  I don't know.
[00:09:06]  I mean, you know, this is a nice minivan.
[00:09:08]  I'm in my aunt's minivan.
[00:09:11]  I'm going to display here.
[00:09:14]  So this is.
[00:09:15]  This is where I grew up.
[00:09:16]  Already, it's getting nice.
[00:09:17]  I think it's urban feeling.
[00:09:18]  It's fine, Ray.
[00:09:19]  It's nice and suburban.
[00:09:21]  It lacks any definitive character.
[00:09:23]  Well, exactly.
[00:09:24]  We were highly hoidy-toity.
[00:09:26]  I mean, already we have a garage sale.
[00:09:27]  I mean, this is what he's saying is fine.
[00:09:29]  Already there's somebody selling your entire house.
[00:09:31]  Garage sales are selling old shoes so that they can go buy OxyContin in the parking lot.
[00:09:37]  Garage sales are a tried and true.
[00:09:39]  People's old shoes.
[00:09:40]  They're selling their old shoes.
[00:09:43]  It's a real staple.
[00:09:44]  It's a real Americana state.
[00:09:45]  It's real Norman Rockwell out here.
[00:09:47]  If he had painted a kid trying to get his mother's back medication, she's barricaded in the bathroom.
[00:09:53]  Excuse me.
[00:09:54]  Straight?
[00:09:55]  Right.
[00:09:56]  I forgot.
[00:09:57]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:09:58]  There's a community garden.
[00:10:00]  Let's take a look at the community garden.
[00:10:02]  Is this it to the right?
[00:10:03]  Oh, that's community garden.
[00:10:04]  Yeah.
[00:10:05]  It looks like a lot of dead plants.
[00:10:07]  But I guess it's yeah, I don't.
[00:10:08]  What are they growing there?
[00:10:09]  Opium?
[00:10:10]  I have to make a left at the stop sign.
[00:10:11]  Okay, this better be nice, Ray.
[00:10:15]  I got to be honest.
[00:10:16]  It isn't that bad.
[00:10:17]  Yeah, see?
[00:10:18]  You thought it was like a shitty.
[00:10:19]  Those kids, the kids who live there used to.
[00:10:22]  No, actually, yeah, one of the kids there.
[00:10:24]  And then this house used to bully me.
[00:10:26]  Try to bully me.
[00:10:27]  I fought back.
[00:10:28]  Is this the kid are you trying to kill yourself on his lawn?
[00:10:31]  No, that was a Catholic high school.
[00:10:33]  Yeah, that was my favorite thing ever.
[00:10:35]  Somebody's bullying Ray.
[00:10:36]  He's like, I'll kill myself on your lawn.
[00:10:37]  I'm going to come to your house and shoot myself in your front lawn.
[00:10:40]  Oh, I think that's what to do.
[00:10:42]  What a great way to, you know, it's a great comeback.
[00:10:45]  Yeah, because it really.
[00:10:47]  It's the suicide bombers.
[00:10:48]  He puts a ball in his court.
[00:10:50]  How are you going to get me?
[00:10:52]  Exactly.
[00:10:54]  This is my house here.
[00:10:55]  Where?
[00:10:55]  Right here.
[00:10:56]  No, next one.
[00:10:57]  That's the people who murdered our cats.
[00:10:59]  What do you mean they murdered your cats?
[00:11:01]  But the antifreeze.
[00:11:02]  Why did they murder your cats?
[00:11:03]  Oh, here it is.
[00:11:04]  Yeah, this is what happened.
[00:11:04]  That tree is drooping.
[00:11:06]  That's a Ray House.
[00:11:07]  This is the house I grew up in.
[00:11:08]  That's a Ray house.
[00:11:09]  Yeah.
[00:11:09]  The mailbox kind of.
[00:11:10]  It looks nice.
[00:11:12]  It's got the nice siding.
[00:11:13]  It's a Long Island home.
[00:11:14]  Yeah, it's nice.
[00:11:16]  Listen.
[00:11:17]  This house in the corner here wasn't there.
[00:11:19]  That used to be a hoarder house where the floors got so saturated with piss that he condemned the whole house.
[00:11:24]  Which house is that?
[00:11:26]  Well, it's one of this big one in the corner here.
[00:11:28]  So, okay.
[00:11:29]  But it used to be facing like the people don't realize things like that were more common.
[00:11:34]  Like hoarders, when we grew up, there were houses, like condemned houses on the block, people you'd never see.
[00:11:41]  I mean, that trope from the movies was real.
[00:11:43]  Oh, sure.
[00:11:44]  Where you had that woman you never see.
[00:11:45]  There was a woman on my block named Vi.
[00:11:47]  Viola.
[00:11:48]  She was like a nasty cunt and would barely come out of her house.
[00:11:51]  And like every twice a year, her kids would come see her.
[00:11:54]  Like that was a real thing that happened.
[00:11:57]  You don't see that as much now.
[00:11:59]  She was really, she always had these dogs that were very aggressive.
[00:12:02]  They tried to bite me.
[00:12:05]  I mean, it just gives you an idea of the, you know, people's lives are just absolute horror.
[00:12:10]  No, it's a shame.
[00:12:11]  You ever seen, you know, Pilgrim State?
[00:12:13]  The mental facility?
[00:12:14]  Yeah, it's right over here.
[00:12:15]  It's not far from here.
[00:12:15]  I've seen Pilgrim State.
[00:12:17]  I mean, I performed in a part of it.
[00:12:21]  Really?
[00:12:22]  Or what's the other one?
[00:12:23]  King's Park.
[00:12:24]  One of them's open.
[00:12:25]  Kings Park.
[00:12:25]  One of them is partially open.
[00:12:26]  Pilgrim State's Park, partially open.
[00:12:28]  So Pilgrim State, I performed with Keith Keith, the one-armed ex-crackhead who was a Marine who ran a sober comedy, who ran sober comedy shows.
[00:12:42]  One of them was at the Pilgrim State Mental Institution.
[00:12:46]  They have like a part of it that is dedicated to rehab.
[00:12:50]  And Mo was on stage.
[00:12:52]  Oh, the wonderful Mo Diggs.
[00:12:54]  Yeah, and Mo was on stage.
[00:12:56]  And one guy, now they had to go to this, this comedy show.
[00:13:01]  They were not supposed to.
[00:13:03]  It's part of the rehabilitation.
[00:13:04]  It's part of it.
[00:13:06]  It's like a performance-based methadone.
[00:13:08]  Mo's on stage and he's bombing.
[00:13:10]  And a guy gets up and he goes, fuck this.
[00:13:12]  And then somebody goes, if you walk out of these doors, you go to jail.
[00:13:15]  He goes, I don't give a fuck.
[00:13:17]  And he left.
[00:13:18]  Wow.
[00:13:18]  So that's how you know you're doing well in comedy when people are literally choosing jail over the rest of your set.
[00:13:24]  That's rough.
[00:13:25]  But Moe, it didn't stop Mo.
[00:13:28]  Well, it did.
[00:13:28]  He's out of comedy now and maybe gay.
[00:13:32]  Well, I mean, that's good for him, though.
[00:13:34]  Good for him.
[00:13:34]  Well, he's like being gay, right?
[00:13:37]  That's fine.
[00:13:38]  You know, I mean, I think I could go further in life if I was straight, to be honest.
[00:13:42]  I don't know about that.
[00:13:43]  I mean, maybe, maybe it's a slight advantage in the entertainment business, but not really anywhere else.
[00:13:49]  Yeah, I mean, you're not the best type of gay.
[00:13:52]  I'm not.
[00:13:53]  You could be a little more fluffy, affable.
[00:13:57]  I am to gay as you are to straight.
[00:13:59]  Right.
[00:13:59]  We're not really a credit to the orientation.
[00:14:01]  Yes.
[00:14:02]  You know what I mean?
[00:14:05]  Nobody's really...
[00:14:06]  We're not going to be on the cover of the brochure.
[00:14:08]  That being said, I like to.
[00:14:09]  Welcome to heterosexual.
[00:14:10]  Welcome to Heterosexual.
[00:14:12]  I'm right down.
[00:14:13]  That being said, I've been told by women that I lay pipe well.
[00:14:17]  I was told by a woman that I lay pipe.
[00:14:20]  They mean actual laying pipe because you're, you know, I'm a laborer.
[00:14:24]  You're a plumber.
[00:14:25]  I wish you were a plumber.
[00:14:27]  Yeah, it would have been a great job.
[00:14:28]  I mean, they make good money, and it's just like, it's like Lego.
[00:14:31]  It's fucking, it's just like putting things together.
[00:14:35]  It's like Legos.
[00:14:36]  It really is like adult Legos.
[00:14:38]  Yeah.
[00:14:39]  You know?
[00:14:40]  It's a...

=== Robert Moses Secrets Exposed (15:09) ===

[00:14:41]  I mean, this guy walking around up.
[00:14:43]  He's putting that.
[00:14:43]  Is he taking the garage sales sign down?
[00:14:46]  Look, this is not a methadled town in particular.
[00:14:48]  It's not methadold.
[00:14:50]  No.
[00:14:50]  It's a nice enough town.
[00:14:52]  It's a nice enough town.
[00:14:53]  I agree with you.
[00:14:54]  Bagel Cafe, pizza and pasta.
[00:14:56]  There's so many fast food restaurants.
[00:14:58]  Long Island loves his carbs.
[00:14:59]  Bagel Cafe, pizza and pasta.
[00:15:01]  What is Joe?
[00:15:02]  Come on in for pizza and pasta.
[00:15:04]  This used to be a blockbuster room video, now it's an urgent care facility.
[00:15:08]  Yeah.
[00:15:08]  Don't have enough insulin spike with the pizza.
[00:15:11]  Have some pasta.
[00:15:13]  Pizza and pasta.
[00:15:14]  The lock-in safe building.
[00:15:16]  What is why is how?
[00:15:18]  Because it's so safe.
[00:15:19]  You were just talking about how nice and safe it was.
[00:15:21]  That's why there's urgent cares, methadone clinics, and lock stores.
[00:15:24]  Where's the methadone clinic?
[00:15:25]  They know it's coming.
[00:15:26]  Look at that Willow Pet Hotel.
[00:15:27]  I never understood what that is.
[00:15:28]  Oh, that laundromat over there, that big laundry man.
[00:15:31]  That's where I met Jimmy, who I guess he was an ex-heroin addict.
[00:15:36]  I was like 17.
[00:15:37]  I was with my friend.
[00:15:37]  They were like, you know, just doing a load of laundry.
[00:15:40]  And he's telling us about how he like, he doesn't do heroin anymore.
[00:15:43]  He just does about four bags in the morning just to get straight.
[00:15:47]  But he doesn't really do heroin.
[00:15:48]  Interesting.
[00:15:49]  So, I mean, it has his underbelly.
[00:15:51]  I'm not saying there's no underbelly, but he was a good guy.
[00:15:53]  He was nice to us.
[00:15:54]  He didn't hit us up for anything.
[00:15:56]  I feel like Jimmy's Jimmy went home, and how old is Jimmy, you think?
[00:16:00]  He was like 40, probably.
[00:16:02]  His old mother was like, You're not hanging around with that Raymond Compara.
[00:16:08]  Jimmy, you do your heroin in the house.
[00:16:09]  Don't be hanging around with Raymond Comp and the boys.
[00:16:12]  One time outside my house, we just passed by before.
[00:16:16]  There was some guy.
[00:16:17]  I was skateboarding outside trying to look out of the alley.
[00:16:19]  When were you skateboarding?
[00:16:21]  Sixth grade skates.
[00:16:21]  Fat people can't skateboard.
[00:16:23]  I was chubby back then.
[00:16:24]  Oh, that's disgusting.
[00:16:25]  There's nothing worse than a fat skateboarder.
[00:16:26]  I wasn't fast, fat.
[00:16:28]  Skateboarders should be real thin and have huge dicks.
[00:16:30]  All right, well.
[00:16:31]  And dumb.
[00:16:32]  I mean, do they actually have huge dicks or they just look big because they're skinny?
[00:16:37]  I have a good dick, but you know, it's also warfare.
[00:16:39]  Yeah, but it's attached to you.
[00:16:41]  Yes, that's what I'm saying.
[00:16:42]  Yeah.
[00:16:43]  So, okay.
[00:16:44]  You're finishing the skateboarder.
[00:16:47]  Take a step.
[00:16:47]  Whatever.
[00:16:48]  So, anyway, I was out there, and this guy came over and started talking to me.
[00:16:51]  This is about days of his youth.
[00:16:54]  He was probably like 19.
[00:16:55]  He was telling me how he used to like.
[00:16:57]  How old were you?
[00:16:58]  Like sixth, seventh grade.
[00:16:59]  Okay.
[00:17:00]  He used to take M80s and they used to blow up animals and make bombs out of them.
[00:17:05]  And they'd put a cigarette on the fuse so they can get away from it.
[00:17:10]  They were like, take clay and put them around the M80 and put ball.
[00:17:12]  I shouldn't be describing this.
[00:17:13]  Wait, what is it?
[00:17:14]  You were just skateboarding, and he came up to you, and he's like, let me tell you about the good old days.
[00:17:18]  It feels like that.
[00:17:19]  My mom at one point came out and started yelling, get away from my boy.
[00:17:23]  So he was trying to fuck you, probably.
[00:17:24]  Maybe, yeah.
[00:17:26]  He was trying to fuck a.
[00:17:27]  He had a fat, he was a pedophile with a fat fetish.
[00:17:29]  I mean, look, he's like, I got a real fat piece of shit here.
[00:17:33]  Look, we talk about how.
[00:17:34]  You like bombs, right?
[00:17:35]  He's like, movies get it.
[00:17:37]  I feel like movies get it wrong because movies make it seem like it's always like this, you know, this fat, greasy guy who's a pedophile.
[00:17:43]  But like we, we, better than most people know that the titans of industry and the politicians are actively, they're competing with those people.
[00:17:52]  Like, if you're a pedophile and you're a schlub, you're competing with, you know, the likes of.
[00:17:56]  Well, you can't do it.
[00:17:57]  If you're a, listen, one of the greatest things you ever said is, do you think we're not successful because we have sex with adults?
[00:18:03]  And that's probably the answer.
[00:18:05]  That's probably the solution.
[00:18:06]  So the point is, this guy was like, the burnout sort of guy.
[00:18:09]  So if he's going to fuck a kid, it was going to be me, not, you know, some fucking.
[00:18:14]  To go to war with the army, you have.
[00:18:16]  Exactly.
[00:18:16]  Yeah.
[00:18:17]  Interesting.
[00:18:19]  That LIE movie, you ever see that movie?
[00:18:20]  It's about a pedophile?
[00:18:22]  They used some of them.
[00:18:23]  I used to work at a camera shop and they used the location.
[00:18:25]  So Brian Box, who's in succession, who's great, is in this movie LIE.
[00:18:29]  And then, who is it, Paul Dano, right?
[00:18:31]  I believe so.
[00:18:32]  Yeah, Paul Dano is in the movie.
[00:18:35]  And then Brian Cox is like trying to fuck him.
[00:18:39]  But then at the end, he's like, Brian Cox is like, five inches is a lot of snow.
[00:18:44]  It's a lot of rain, but it's not a lot of dick.
[00:18:45]  Do you have more than five inches?
[00:18:46]  It's like, you're a size queen pedophile?
[00:18:49]  That's insane.
[00:18:50]  What is this?
[00:18:52]  So he really turns the kid down because he has less than five inches.
[00:18:54]  No, he doesn't like turn him down, but he just asks him the question.
[00:18:56]  And it's like, what kind of size pedophile?
[00:19:00]  Brian Cox, you know, look, it might be something he ad-libs because he's a smart guy.
[00:19:04]  He's like, wow, he got in the head of the pedophile.
[00:19:07]  Yeah.
[00:19:08]  Everyone's really creeped out by all of Brian Cox's ad-libs on the movie.
[00:19:12]  He's like, what kind of cock you got?
[00:19:13]  They're like, this scene is not about that.
[00:19:16]  Well, I feel like he's smarter than most pedophiles would be in this case, but I feel like he'd be like, well, the boy wouldn't want to show me his dick, so I challenge his manhood and make him prove he has more than five angels.
[00:19:26]  I don't care.
[00:19:27]  I'll suck one of them.
[00:19:29]  But, you know, it gets the job done.
[00:19:31]  But the tagline for that movie was.
[00:19:35]  There are lanes going east, there are lanes going west, and then there were lanes going straight to hell.
[00:19:39]  Right.
[00:19:39]  And it's about the Long Island Expressway.
[00:19:42]  And it starts with a kid who goes, my mother's name was Sylvia Blitzer, and she died on the Long Island Expressway.
[00:19:50]  It kills a lot of people.
[00:19:51]  Harry Champin.
[00:19:52]  And he goes through the whole thing, right?
[00:19:54]  Like, and then he's like, then he goes, is Friendlies done, by the way?
[00:19:58]  I think Friendly's his gun.
[00:20:00]  They still exist.
[00:20:03]  I was at one.
[00:20:03]  I didn't go in, but I was at one recently.
[00:20:05]  So the LA movie is kind of perfect.
[00:20:07]  It's this kid whose dad is a corrupt builder.
[00:20:12]  Right.
[00:20:12]  He was played by the guy who, like, when Tony wanted to buy that house somewhere in the Sopranos, and they ended up playing Sinatra to make him reneging the contract.
[00:20:23]  Yeah.
[00:20:23]  Yeah.
[00:20:23]  He was that guy.
[00:20:24]  Good guy.
[00:20:25]  So that guy plays the father, and then this kid is like ditching school, smoking, like out of it, all that shit.
[00:20:32]  And then he falls in with this group of kids that are robbing houses and eventually he gets preyed on by this pedophile.
[00:20:39]  It's a pretty decent representation of Long Island.
[00:20:43]  I mean, it's not the worst.
[00:20:45]  I mean, look, you've seen Caption the Freedmen's.
[00:20:47]  Where was that?
[00:20:48]  I'm saying there's of all, it doesn't seem indicative.
[00:20:52]  It seemed to me, if you're going to make a movie LIE, like this could have happened anywhere.
[00:20:57]  Like, why not make a movie about like, oh, we got so many fast food places around?
[00:21:01]  Yeah.
[00:21:01]  That's your movie.
[00:21:03]  That's your movie.
[00:21:04]  That's your film.
[00:21:04]  But the pedophile hangs out of the fast food places.
[00:21:07]  That is a better idea.
[00:21:08]  No, make everyone fat.
[00:21:10]  But you're leaving out the fact that we have...
[00:21:14]  I don't know if there is a place on Earth that has more fast food places.
[00:21:18]  This strip, this Deer Park Avenue has the most per square inch or whatever.
[00:21:23]  Really?
[00:21:24]  I've been around the country.
[00:21:25]  There is no place that has as many as we either.
[00:21:28]  I mean, we don't get like, we just got Sonic a few years back, maybe six years ago now.
[00:21:33]  We don't get all the little things.
[00:21:35]  You don't get all the little things, but like in areas where there's a Sonic, there'll be a Sonic and nothing else.
[00:21:40]  Here, there's like 12 Dunkin' Donuts, Sonic, Wendy's, McDonald's, Taco Bell, fucking Rocket King, all doing well.
[00:21:48]  All busy.
[00:21:48]  All doing well.
[00:21:49]  Packed.
[00:21:50]  Yeah.
[00:21:51]  Because they love their convenience, Ryan.
[00:21:53]  Now we're getting on the Southern State Parkway.
[00:21:55]  How many car accidents have you been in on Long Island?
[00:21:58]  I'll go first.
[00:21:59]  Five.
[00:22:01]  I think one, my first real one was in the city, in Long Island City, but then I got into one in one in Long Island when I collided with the state trooper, or not state trooper, federal agents, I believe.
[00:22:13]  But they let me go.
[00:22:14]  Yeah, this was, that was a great story.
[00:22:16]  I just dropped you off, actually.
[00:22:18]  They dropped you off.
[00:22:19]  I wasn't, you know, no, you fell asleep at the wheel.
[00:22:22]  Yeah, I nodded off for a split second.
[00:22:23]  I was so close to home, too.
[00:22:24]  I just driving back from the city, dropped him off where he lived, and then I was literally two minutes from home and I nodded off for half a second.
[00:22:34]  And then tell us where you woke up.
[00:22:36]  Well, the collision with the federal officers who were on my car who seemed to be in such a rush to get to the airport, they were like, we just have to go.
[00:22:46]  And they left the scene.
[00:22:47]  Yeah, because they just transported Jeffrey Epstein back to the country.
[00:22:52]  Yeah.
[00:22:52]  Can you imagine they're doing some secret thing and then you just fucking crashing at him?
[00:22:57]  This fat fuck.
[00:22:58]  You know what I mean?
[00:23:00]  Tell Pro.
[00:23:02]  What happened?
[00:23:03]  I was just...
[00:23:05]  Did you hit me or did I hit you?
[00:23:07]  I nodded off for a second.
[00:23:10]  They're transporting some fucking high-value detainee.
[00:23:13]  They just kidnapped some scientists from Brookhaven National Laboratories.
[00:23:16]  They're pissing on him before they even get to the fucking prison.
[00:23:18]  Yeah.
[00:23:19]  And then they get hit by the film.
[00:23:20]  Did you see that clip on Twitter or YouTube or whatever?
[00:23:23]  I mean, we've always heard of Seymour Hearst, but this guy was saying he witnessed.
[00:23:27]  It was done in the style of like, meet this doctor who like helps kids with amputated feet.
[00:23:33]  Like, it was like heartwarming videos, but it was like, meet the guy.
[00:23:36]  Like, they showed the clip, the pictures of like the Abu Ghraib and the guy, like the guy in the hood.
[00:23:44]  And like, this is the guy under the hood.
[00:23:46]  And they fucking showed the guy who apparently is in that famous picture under the hood.
[00:23:49]  And he's talking about how he was pissed on and electrocuted.
[00:23:52]  Like, I'll never forget the electrocution.
[00:23:54]  I felt my eyes were going to burn out.
[00:23:56]  And he says he witnessed soldiers raping kids in front of their fathers.
[00:24:00]  Yeah, no, we believe that.
[00:24:01]  Yeah.
[00:24:02]  Seymour Hirsch said that there are tapes of soldiers or whoever raping children in front of their fathers.
[00:24:09]  And if the CIA is very scared that those tapes will come out.
[00:24:14]  I mean, do you think that's like that's part of the torture manual?
[00:24:20]  Like, all right, so first, they give you a Viagra in case you don't like kids, and then they fucking like, or is it like a rogue pedophile just did it?
[00:24:29]  I don't believe, I literally don't believe in rogue pedophiles anymore.
[00:24:32]  That's a good point.
[00:24:33]  After the last few years, I believe you're a pedophile, you're in a group.
[00:24:36]  It might be a poor group.
[00:24:38]  It might be a Knights of Columbus.
[00:24:39]  Yeah.
[00:24:40]  But you are in a group.
[00:24:41]  There is with the dark web.
[00:24:43]  I don't believe in the lone pedophile.
[00:24:45]  Nor do I believe in the lone shooter who killed Bobby Kennedy or Martin Luther King or JFK.
[00:24:52]  I'm starting not to believe in that.
[00:24:55]  It's hard for me to believe in Steven Paddock.
[00:24:59]  You know, I'm not saying that that didn't happen.
[00:25:01]  The Las Vegas shooting?
[00:25:03]  Yeah, the guy that has no history or social media or friends or relatives or his girlfriend happened to be in the Philippines.
[00:25:14]  And the one guy who interacted with him directly did an interview with Ellen and then disappeared forever.
[00:25:20]  And nobody else interacted with Steven Paddock.
[00:25:23]  And his brother was busted for child porn a week after he was arrested and then disappeared.
[00:25:29]  It's just his.
[00:25:30]  Wait, is he alive?
[00:25:31]  I forgot.
[00:25:31]  He's alive.
[00:25:32]  Who?
[00:25:32]  Steven Paddock?
[00:25:34]  No.
[00:25:34]  He was killed, right?
[00:25:35]  He killed himself.
[00:25:36]  Right.
[00:25:37]  After shooting all those people, to make a point, I guess, about gun control, that was kind of the narrative for a minute.
[00:25:44]  They wanted us to believe that.
[00:25:45]  He was doing it to make a point about gun control.
[00:25:46]  I think people were saying that.
[00:25:48]  People like he was anti-gun and he just wanted to wake the country.
[00:25:52]  I remember that.
[00:25:53]  That literally was a narrative.
[00:25:54]  They're like, that's particularly, that's potentially.
[00:25:57]  But again, this is from the same media with Chris Matthews, who goes, you know, politicians are poor, so a guy like they can't travel everywhere.
[00:26:04]  So a guy like Jeffrey Epstein just lends him his plane.
[00:26:06]  These politicians, they end up spending time with these nefarious characters because they have money and they have planned.
[00:26:12]  I'm like, oh, so the Clintons are poor?
[00:26:14]  That's your argument?
[00:26:15]  I mean, look, even to take it a step further, like, there are guys who I'm sure favors are done, but it's like, like, who is this Epstein guy?
[00:26:24]  Why is he letting me use?
[00:26:25]  Like, you know, you know, they want something from you.
[00:26:29]  Right.
[00:26:29]  You know, on some level that, so, like, you probably go, well, who is he?
[00:26:33]  What's like, is he in the fucking Russian mom?
[00:26:37]  I guarantee you that there is not one person on Epstein's jet that was not a multi-millionaire.
[00:26:41]  Right.
[00:26:41]  No.
[00:26:42]  I guarantee it collapses.
[00:26:43]  This is his whole logic.
[00:26:44]  It's not young congressmen on that jet.
[00:26:47]  Okay.
[00:26:48]  Yeah.
[00:26:48]  These are fuck.
[00:26:49]  Can we stop?
[00:26:50]  Well, is the governor of Pennsylvania?
[00:26:52]  Wasn't he on it?
[00:26:53]  Is he a millionaire?
[00:26:54]  They're all millions.
[00:26:55]  There's nobody.
[00:26:56]  But he's not even a millionaire.
[00:26:58]  Why am I so broke?
[00:26:59]  Because you're fucked.
[00:27:00]  You don't fuck kids.
[00:27:01]  Yeah.
[00:27:02]  I mean, you get ancient wisdom when you fuck kids.
[00:27:06]  What is it?
[00:27:07]  I don't know.
[00:27:08]  Listen, every fucking governor, not one of them is broke.
[00:27:13]  And I guarantee you, the majority of them, Ray, are wealthy.
[00:27:17]  They have over in the holdings over a million dollars with their house and everything.
[00:27:22]  Yeah, I agree.
[00:27:23]  And listen, we're just talking about, oh, they can't afford, because to buy that argument, it's that, oh, you can't really afford to fly.
[00:27:30]  Right, you can't get on a fucking machine.
[00:27:31]  They can't get on a plane.
[00:27:32]  Planes every hour.
[00:27:33]  Yeah, they can't get on a plane.
[00:27:34]  I find a way to do it, but the governor of Bill Richardson can't.
[00:27:38]  No, Bill Richardson.
[00:27:40]  Yeah, he couldn't get on a plane, right?
[00:27:42]  Because everyone would fucking bother him.
[00:27:45]  No.
[00:27:46]  We're so fucked.
[00:27:47]  It's over.
[00:27:48]  I don't know.
[00:27:49]  I mean, this is route.
[00:27:50]  This is the southern state becomes the Belt Parkway, by the way.
[00:27:55]  So you might have heard of that, you listeners out there, as one of the most dangerous.
[00:27:58]  Yeah, the Belt is like one of the top 10 dangerous roads in the world.
[00:28:00]  And the other roads are etched into the side of a mountain.
[00:28:03]  The Belt's one of the only roads that's in a civilized country that is dangerous.
[00:28:09]  But it's because people are animals driving through Brooklyn.
[00:28:13]  Well, it's also like Robert Moses designed it in a curvy, weird way with low overpasses.
[00:28:18]  Now explain why Robert Moses designed all the parkways.
[00:28:21]  It was said that he loved cars and not people.
[00:28:23]  Robert Moses is the guy that designed all the parkways to go to Long Island and none of them can have buses on them.
[00:28:28]  He dislikes certain people more than others.
[00:28:30]  He basically...
[00:28:31]  He did not like blacks.
[00:28:33]  Right.
[00:28:33]  He made the overpasses low so that poorer people, regardless of their race or creed, but you know, but yeah, he was resolvedly a racist, but the buses couldn't bust people out.
[00:28:47]  Are you trying to defend Robert Moses from the charge of racism?
[00:28:50]  No, no, I'm just saying I don't think he like I'm just saying I don't want to paint the brush that only blacks and Latinos are poor.
[00:28:56]  I'm sure there's some poor white kids who also couldn't be busted out.
[00:28:59]  Yeah, but Robert Moses liked them better.
[00:29:00]  He did.
[00:29:01]  He definitely ranked them higher.
[00:29:03]  If Robert Moses, if there was a way to just get poor white people out here, Robert Moses would have done it.
[00:29:08]  He might have had a end of the Grinch moment.
[00:29:10]  He'd been like, oh, okay.
[00:29:12]  But no, but he's.
[00:29:14]  He just like screws at the end.
[00:29:16]  Go buy a turkey and take it to the poorest white family you know and have a feast.
[00:29:23]  Okay.
[00:29:23]  Yeah.
[00:29:24]  Now I'm just gonna.
[00:29:25]  Okay.
[00:29:25]  All right.
[00:29:26]  Now, here's the thing about this, which is funny.
[00:29:28]  I don't know if podcasting in a car is illegal.
[00:29:31]  Talking on the phone is.
[00:29:32]  But is podcasting while driving illegal?
[00:29:35]  I mean, everything should be illegal.
[00:29:37]  I agree.
[00:29:38]  Could we be the first people to get arrested for podcasting while driving?
[00:29:43]  It should be illegal in your bedroom.
[00:29:44]  Yeah.
[00:29:46]  But the point, I don't think he saw the mics.
[00:29:49]  Maybe he thought they were guns.

=== Podcasting While Driving (02:32) ===

[00:29:50]  Can you imagine, like, your parents used to be like, are you jerking off?
[00:29:53]  They never said that, but they thought it.
[00:29:55]  Now they're knocking on the door.
[00:29:56]  They're like, are you podcasting in there?
[00:29:59]  You got no listeners, fan.
[00:30:02]  Your father's yelling at you.
[00:30:03]  You don't have a chart.
[00:30:05]  You never chart, you piece of shit.
[00:30:07]  Why don't you ask people to share and subscribe?
[00:30:10]  Yeah.
[00:30:10]  You got to tell the gun.
[00:30:12]  You got to hold their hand.
[00:30:13]  You got to fucking spool yourself.
[00:30:14]  You're going to shove it.
[00:30:15]  Oh, you think you're Chapo Trapas, huh?
[00:30:17]  Because you don't have a goddamn job.
[00:30:19]  You just hate the rich.
[00:30:21]  You're not funny.
[00:30:23]  So now we're passing the Seaford Oyster Bay.
[00:30:25]  Right.
[00:30:27]  My father, by the way, right, this is our favorite thing ever.
[00:30:31]  Yeah.
[00:30:31]  Right before I came to New York, both my aunt, Donna, and my father said, hey, please come stay with us if you need to.
[00:30:39]  And we had hotels for every other night, but Saturday, the hotels were all like a grand tonight in New York.
[00:30:44]  I don't know why.
[00:30:44]  Because it's Columbus Day and a lot of people are.
[00:30:47]  So I called my dad.
[00:30:48]  My dad has two houses now.
[00:30:49]  He's moving from one to another.
[00:30:51]  And I'm like, hey, me and the first people calling Aunt Donna were like, hey, me and Ben would love to stay for night.
[00:30:56]  She's like, oh, yeah, this weekend's not good.
[00:31:00]  She's like, we're doing a garage sale soon.
[00:31:02]  So this weekend's not good.
[00:31:04]  But any other weekend.
[00:31:05]  You just got to show up.
[00:31:06]  You can't like, you can't give them the heads up.
[00:31:08]  That's probably what it is.
[00:31:09]  You can't anytime.
[00:31:10]  Yeah, my dad goes, hey, I was like, hey, can we stay at night?
[00:31:13]  He goes, ah.
[00:31:15]  And then he gets on the phone.
[00:31:16]  His wife, he calls her over.
[00:31:18]  He goes, Christina, they want to.
[00:31:20]  He's like, yeah, it's just not good this weekend.
[00:31:23]  Well, my parents are the same way.
[00:31:24]  My parents, any other time.
[00:31:27]  They were just seeing for Thanksgiving, but the cats had fleas apparently.
[00:31:32]  And because I suppose to go to their place, and then they couldn't, like, I wasn't allowed.
[00:31:35]  Like, okay, fine.
[00:31:36]  And so this is a lie.
[00:31:38]  I mean, we know this is a lie.
[00:31:39]  Well, it resolves it.
[00:31:40]  And then again, the cats, at Christmas, the cats got fleas again.
[00:31:43]  No, this is a, Ray, they don't want you in their home.
[00:31:45]  I mean, this is not.
[00:31:46]  I wanted to pick up my old guitar from them.
[00:31:48]  Mom's like, I'll meet you at the train station.
[00:31:52]  Wow.
[00:31:53]  Yeah.
[00:31:54]  So I don't know what's going on.
[00:31:56]  Do they think if you come into the house, you legally won't leave?
[00:32:00]  Do you believe that squatter's right?
[00:32:06]  Hey, I'm coming over.
[00:32:08]  I'm coming over to get my old guitar.
[00:32:11]  Your dad's like, we're not falling through that again.
[00:32:14]  This stupid fuck thinks he's going to get in here.
[00:32:16]  Fuck you, dad.
[00:32:17]  I got mail here.
[00:32:18]  You can't take me out.
[00:32:19]  You walk in.
[00:32:19]  You just start having your mail sent down.
[00:32:21]  You walk in.

=== Fleas, Gravel, and Old Guitars (03:40) ===

[00:32:23]  You walk in waving a light button.
[00:32:25]  Fuck you.
[00:32:27]  Fuck you.
[00:32:28]  I'm never leaving, you stupid bitch.
[00:32:31]  And you start smoking meth.
[00:32:32]  Yeah.
[00:32:33]  You just light a cigarette and dancing around.
[00:32:37]  I love the idea.
[00:32:38]  I'm moving home.
[00:32:40]  So I don't know what they're doing there.
[00:32:42]  It reminds me of things my grandparents did to my mom when I was younger when they pulled the same, you know, like, was this going to their place for Thanksgiving?
[00:32:49]  Ah, they're sick.
[00:32:49]  My mom, they were like, ah, they're sick.
[00:32:51]  Like, well, they're sick, really?
[00:32:53]  Yeah, they seem to get sick every holiday.
[00:32:55]  Yeah, they're full of shit.
[00:32:57]  Dude, there's nothing better than on the holidays, the family just saying no.
[00:33:01]  Last year, my aunt Kathleen canceled Thanksgiving the night before.
[00:33:05]  Really?
[00:33:05]  Yeah, she's just like...
[00:33:06]  Under what pretense?
[00:33:07]  Nanny's not feeling up to it.
[00:33:09]  Oh, wow.
[00:33:09]  Once somebody gets over a certain age, you can use them and then just go, they're not feeling up to it.
[00:33:15]  And you never even have to.
[00:33:16]  People are like, put her on the phone.
[00:33:18]  Kathleen's like, I gotta go.
[00:33:20]  They're like, put her on the phone.
[00:33:22]  It's not particularly windy part.
[00:33:24]  Be careful.
[00:33:26]  Put her on the phone, Kathleen.
[00:33:28]  I mean, the reality is she was, is she still alive?
[00:33:30]  But you look to the right.
[00:33:31]  All the crosses and flowers are people who've died on the southern stage.
[00:33:36]  Yeah.
[00:33:36]  I mean, look, you get a lot of it.
[00:33:38]  I used to see teenage people or adults who died in the southern state.
[00:33:43]  They'll come to the morgue.
[00:33:45]  Right.
[00:33:45]  Yeah.
[00:33:46]  It ain't no thing.
[00:33:47]  It ain't no thing.
[00:33:48]  I saw a girl once.
[00:33:49]  She was trying to cross the southern state on foot.
[00:33:52]  Like, you know, I don't know why to that party.
[00:33:55]  And she got, you know, a little twisted or whatever.
[00:33:58]  And she got a fucking face full of a truck and died.
[00:34:03]  Now, what does a body look like when it's been hit by a truck?
[00:34:05]  It wasn't really a truck.
[00:34:06]  But I was just saying, it's not better than a Civic.
[00:34:10]  But what does a body look like after it gets hit by a Civic?
[00:34:14]  I'm telling you, basically, the head feels like a bag of broken glass.
[00:34:18]  It looks relatively intact often, but like it's, you know, when you like, you know, when you drop a glass sometimes and it's kind of like broken, but like still together?
[00:34:30]  Sort of?
[00:34:31]  It's like that.
[00:34:32]  It's a broken light bulb.
[00:34:34]  So the skin's holding it together, but it's just all loose.
[00:34:37]  And you got to like position it for the x-ray.
[00:34:40]  There's a lot of gravel embedded in the skin now.
[00:34:43]  There's burn marks from where either they skidded or they hit the pavement.
[00:34:51]  Often there'll be a compound fracture on the arm.
[00:34:55]  What would her breast look like?
[00:34:56]  Look.
[00:34:58]  No, not look.
[00:35:00]  They're the same variety as living women's breasts.
[00:35:03]  You're not going to get me on this one.
[00:35:05]  Did you look at her breasts?
[00:35:06]  Were you a cop?
[00:35:07]  Okay.
[00:35:10]  Women have breasts.
[00:35:11]  I'm going to say to Ray, if a good-looking guy owed you on heroin and I was at a morgue, I would be curious as to what the guy looked like.
[00:35:20]  I'll take a little look at the dead.
[00:35:21]  I'll be on addiction with that guy.
[00:35:22]  I'll be honest with you.
[00:35:24]  You see everything.
[00:35:24]  You take a picture of it.
[00:35:25]  You see it.
[00:35:26]  You see it.
[00:35:27]  And I used to wonder, like, look, of course you're not going to be doing anything awful, beating off.
[00:35:32]  But do you get attracted?
[00:35:34]  And there's something about a lifeless body that really has no appeal to me.
[00:35:38]  Well, I don't know.
[00:35:39]  Maybe you just haven't found the right one.
[00:35:41]  Perhaps.
[00:35:41]  I mean, maybe you just didn't find the right lifeless body.
[00:35:44]  Maybe we didn't get a lot of cancer patients because they were already seeing a doctor, so we know why they died.
[00:35:49]  Right.
[00:35:49]  So they wouldn't come into a moral.
[00:35:50]  You get surprises.
[00:35:52]  Yeah.
[00:35:52]  You get people that try to make it across the southern state.
[00:35:55]  He hasn't been to the doctor in 10 years, and now he dies in the toilet.
[00:35:58]  Figure it out.
[00:35:59]  Right.
[00:36:00]  Yeah.
[00:36:02]  It's a fun game of clue.

=== Cinnamon Rolls and Calorie Shakes (02:58) ===

[00:36:03]  Yeah.
[00:36:03]  A lot of people die in the toilet because they just, they feel bad, and they go, maybe I can shit this out, and they can't.
[00:36:09]  Really?
[00:36:09]  Yeah.
[00:36:10]  Well, you have these weird intestinal things or whatever.
[00:36:12]  Whatever's going on, something's wrong.
[00:36:13]  And you're like, maybe I just got to take a shit.
[00:36:15]  That's Long Island for you.
[00:36:17]  Maybe I just got to take a nice shit.
[00:36:18]  I can shit it out.
[00:36:21]  I can shit it out.
[00:36:22]  You should go see the doctor, Vinny.
[00:36:24]  Shut up.
[00:36:26]  You just got to take a shit.
[00:36:28]  Shit.
[00:36:28]  You know what's funny?
[00:36:29]  Growing up, whenever you felt bad, somebody would ask you, did you move your bowels?
[00:36:32]  Did you go to the bathroom?
[00:36:33]  I mean, look, that's not...
[00:36:34]  That's not a bad question.
[00:36:35]  When you're a kid, especially, because, you know, when you're, it took me a while to realize what shit felt like before.
[00:36:41]  Like, you know, sometimes you have a nice shit brewing, but you think, you know, something's wrong.
[00:36:46]  Or like, you know, when you eat a nice bowl of pasta and you get a little acid reflux, but you think the world's ending because you got a hot burp.
[00:36:53]  So you gotta tell, you gotta tell you.
[00:36:55]  I just had all my blood taken from my doctor, Dr. Ramos.
[00:36:59]  He has a picture of George W. Bush on the wall.
[00:37:01]  Oh, he's a big Fox News fan, right?
[00:37:03]  He loves Fox News, loves Bush.
[00:37:05]  I said, is keto good?
[00:37:06]  He goes, no, I'm metadanian diet.
[00:37:08]  Fish, vegetables.
[00:37:09]  I'm like, okay.
[00:37:10]  Well, it's the same.
[00:37:11]  It's also keto.
[00:37:12]  Fish and vegetables.
[00:37:15]  Everyone's got their gimmick.
[00:37:17]  Look, everyone's got a gimmick.
[00:37:19]  It's like, yeah, like, you don't have to eat like a glass of bacon grease if you're doing ketchup.
[00:37:25]  Can I tell you what I had yesterday and you tell me where I went wrong?
[00:37:27]  Sure.
[00:37:28]  I woke up with Ben.
[00:37:30]  We went to Park Avenue autumn for brunch.
[00:37:34]  Nice.
[00:37:35]  We had cinnamon rolls with honey roasted almonds.
[00:37:39]  Cinnamon rolls?
[00:37:40]  Yeah, like sticky buns.
[00:37:42]  Like the cinnamon sticks?
[00:37:44]  No, like a roll.
[00:37:45]  Like a sticky bun.
[00:37:46]  Oh, like an actual cinnamon roll.
[00:37:47]  Cinnamon roll.
[00:37:47]  Well, I'll tell you right now, that's no good.
[00:37:50]  But first of all, you're not taking into account the rest of the day.
[00:37:54]  All right, go ahead.
[00:37:56]  I walk six miles.
[00:37:57]  Can you remember?
[00:37:58]  Can you?
[00:37:59]  So already, first of all, I'm fine.
[00:38:01]  I walk six miles.
[00:38:02]  Okay.
[00:38:02]  So it's a cinnamon roll.
[00:38:03]  I mean, so you did.
[00:38:04]  At the pace you walk, you're going to sloth.
[00:38:07]  But at the pace you walked, walking six miles, you probably burned maximum 600 calories, 700 calories.
[00:38:13]  It's not all about calories, Remin.
[00:38:14]  The cinnamon roll itself probably had 1,200.
[00:38:16]  You need to shake your calories.
[00:38:17]  At the end of the day, it is calories.
[00:38:18]  A lot of it is calories.
[00:38:19]  You need to shut your body.
[00:38:20]  Body's burning calories.
[00:38:21]  You haven't burned the calorie your whole entire life.
[00:38:23]  I have been on keto.
[00:38:25]  Keto.
[00:38:26]  He's a Spanish guy that works in the deli.
[00:38:29]  Listen, we had breakfast risotto, which is night pumpkin risotto.
[00:38:34]  We had pumpkin risotto sausage.
[00:38:36]  Then we had, what do we have?
[00:38:39]  Butternut squash soup.
[00:38:40]  Then we had...
[00:38:41]  That might be okay, but probably a sauce.
[00:38:42]  Then we had avocado toast with crab.
[00:38:45]  Then we had a fried chicken sandwich with jalapeno coleslaw.
[00:38:49]  Then we had smoked salmon eggs benedict.
[00:38:53]  Then we had a s'mores sundae.
[00:38:56]  Then we had a creme brulee.
[00:38:58]  And then we're done.
[00:38:59]  Now we're done.
[00:38:59]  I have a bag of roast beef in my backpack.

=== Keto Delusions and Fat Pigs (02:51) ===

[00:39:01]  That's what I mean.
[00:39:03]  After that, we didn't eat.
[00:39:05]  After that, we did not eat until we went and had General Tows chicken, beef lomain, scallion pancake, and some dumplings.
[00:39:14]  You could have eaten ribs with no sauce.
[00:39:16]  You could have eaten beef and broccoli with no sauce.
[00:39:18]  I know, I went off my program.
[00:39:20]  I mean, look, not everyone can have the rigorous standards of dietary resolve that I have.
[00:39:29]  Why don't you, and I'm not even kidding.
[00:39:31]  Yeah.
[00:39:31]  Why don't you start a personal training company?
[00:39:33]  I feel like I could.
[00:39:34]  I'm asking you a question.
[00:39:36]  Look.
[00:39:36]  Listen.
[00:39:39]  How big are you now?
[00:39:40]  I'm a big guy.
[00:39:41]  I'm three something.
[00:39:42]  I don't know.
[00:39:42]  Maybe I'm high.
[00:39:43]  I'm in the high threes, probably.
[00:39:45]  I might be under three.
[00:39:45]  I got fat.
[00:39:46]  I got really fat.
[00:39:47]  Are you in the high threes, do you think?
[00:39:48]  I don't know.
[00:39:49]  It's bad.
[00:39:50]  You think in the mid threes?
[00:39:51]  Mid to high.
[00:39:52]  Yeah, I don't think I'm four.
[00:39:54]  You can't go over four, no.
[00:39:56]  Look, look.
[00:39:57]  I love when you say no like that.
[00:39:59]  You go, no.
[00:40:00]  No, that's when it's not fun anymore.
[00:40:04]  I won't let myself get over four.
[00:40:08]  Four.
[00:40:10]  Four is when I...
[00:40:11]  That's when I ran it in.
[00:40:14]  I'm only knocking on it.
[00:40:16]  When I get to four, I say no more.
[00:40:18]  Look, it's tough.
[00:40:20]  I know.
[00:40:20]  I've been doing it for a week now about.
[00:40:23]  I'm a supporter of your weight loss.
[00:40:25]  Thank you.
[00:40:26]  I mean, I'm going to do it.
[00:40:27]  I'm in shape.
[00:40:27]  I mean, it's more funny when people say that means nothing.
[00:40:30]  They go, I'm proud of you.
[00:40:31]  You go, shut up.
[00:40:32]  Yeah.
[00:40:33]  You shut up.
[00:40:34]  Oh, well, no, no, that gives me the relief.
[00:40:36]  No, I mean, I do it despite you because all you do is call me a fat pig.
[00:40:41]  I do not call you a fat pig.
[00:40:42]  You call me something.
[00:40:43]  I call myself a fat pig.
[00:40:44]  You've called me a fat pig plenty.
[00:40:47]  Not your Hollywoods.
[00:40:48]  You can't be fat-shaving people.
[00:40:49]  No, I call everyone that's fat fat.
[00:40:51]  Lilo's fat.
[00:40:52]  I call everyone fat.
[00:40:53]  I'm fat.
[00:40:53]  Right.
[00:40:54]  I don't mince words and lie like other people.
[00:40:56]  You're big bone.
[00:40:57]  You're husky.
[00:40:58]  No, it's fine.
[00:40:58]  You're prestigious.
[00:41:00]  You take up space.
[00:41:01]  You're prominent.
[00:41:02]  I remember there's an episode of Adam.
[00:41:03]  That's it.
[00:41:04]  I swear to God, there's a new clothing company.
[00:41:06]  Starboards made me laugh.
[00:41:07]  He sent me a thing where they go, it's clothing for prominent men.
[00:41:11]  It's like, no, they're fat.
[00:41:13]  There was an episode of Island McBeal, I remember, where this fat guy was suing this woman for not dating him or something.
[00:41:19]  He was gross.
[00:41:20]  Gross pig.
[00:41:21]  And at the end, she was trying to tell him, like, oh, no, you're fine.
[00:41:24]  You're doing good.
[00:41:25]  You're a good guy.
[00:41:25]  And he's like, would any of your friends date me?
[00:41:28]  And she's like, well, no.
[00:41:29]  It's like, because of my heft.
[00:41:33]  She's like, yeah.
[00:41:34]  I've always thought that'd be a nice way to refer to you.
[00:41:37]  You're my heft.
[00:41:38]  Doctor, is it my heft?
[00:41:40]  Is that the issue?
[00:41:42]  Look, it's not that I eat a lot of cocoa.
[00:41:44]  I have proshut during the day.
[00:41:46]  You get some nice pepperjack cheese.
[00:41:48]  There's a lot of stuff you can eat.
[00:41:49]  Now you walk around eating meats and cheeses and you get them out of a bag and that disturbs many people.

=== Detroit's Inexpensive Reality (06:50) ===

[00:41:53]  Well, look.
[00:41:54]  Once you ate garlic in a frozen yogurt place and you did that for what, a cold?
[00:41:58]  Well, that's because I don't know.
[00:41:59]  You ate raw garlic in the restaurant.
[00:42:01]  That's true.
[00:42:02]  And you decided to eat a raw clove of garlic.
[00:42:04]  Well, it's good for your stomach.
[00:42:05]  It helps its antimicrobial properties.
[00:42:08]  So you were eating raw garlic in a yogurt spot where your parents were tasting yogurt with their children.
[00:42:14]  Well, look, go taste your yogurt.
[00:42:15]  I'm tasting garlic.
[00:42:16]  It was like a little girl, like, she has her mother.
[00:42:18]  She was like, is he eating garlic?
[00:42:20]  And you're like, it's antimicrobial.
[00:42:23]  I don't want to tell you.
[00:42:24]  Like, I'm not doing porn in a fucking yogurt place.
[00:42:28]  I'm eating a clove of garlic.
[00:42:29]  Yeah, a raw clove of garlic.
[00:42:31]  You don't buy it in a grocery store, kid.
[00:42:33]  You know, you gotta learn.
[00:42:34]  You gotta learn how to buy.
[00:42:35]  You gotta buy dog food in the grocery store, too.
[00:42:37]  You shouldn't eat that.
[00:42:38]  You shouldn't eat kibbles.
[00:42:39]  It's a clove of garlic.
[00:42:41]  The fact that our country has come.
[00:42:43]  Let's talk about our country a minute.
[00:42:45]  How's this country doing?
[00:42:47]  On a scale of one to ten.
[00:42:49]  I believe the impeachment process is like us taking a shit.
[00:42:54]  The country.
[00:42:56]  I don't know.
[00:42:58]  How do you mean?
[00:42:59]  Like, economically?
[00:43:00]  How are we doing, Randy?
[00:43:01]  If you're a betting man, you're a betting man.
[00:43:03]  Yeah.
[00:43:04]  You're talking about us.
[00:43:05]  Let's talk about us like a company.
[00:43:07]  Right.
[00:43:08]  Well, we've moved past the cash cow phase of our problem.
[00:43:12]  Correct.
[00:43:13]  We're now in a state of decline.
[00:43:15]  Right.
[00:43:15]  You started.
[00:43:16]  There's a business matrix I learned at Suffolk Community College.
[00:43:19]  Okay.
[00:43:19]  And there was a startup, a growing venture, a cash cow when you have a very profitable business or country that you can kind of just siphon the money out of and your dark activities.
[00:43:34]  Since 2005, mortgages.
[00:43:36]  You go like your house is an ATM.
[00:43:38]  Right.
[00:43:39]  Go in, you got equity, you got cash.
[00:43:41]  Yeah, we want a pool.
[00:43:43]  We want a deck.
[00:43:43]  Oh, yeah.
[00:43:44]  I mean, that's the thing.
[00:43:45]  Everyone who complains, they were all refinancing their goddamn homes to get extensions on their shitty houses.
[00:43:52]  I'm not saying they're as bad as the people at Goldman who were lying, but like almost.
[00:43:59]  Relative to what you should be doing, like those guys.
[00:44:01]  Listen, it's a country of criminals.
[00:44:03]  I know.
[00:44:04]  We're all trying to get over.
[00:44:05]  Yeah, everybody's trying to get over.
[00:44:06]  Some people are better at it than others.
[00:44:08]  And then there's like a few people that are, you know, genuinely getting fucked, and I feel bad about it.
[00:44:13]  Yeah, right.
[00:44:13]  But let's get, let's, let's be honest.
[00:44:15]  There's a lot of people out there trying to figure something out.
[00:44:18]  Right.
[00:44:19]  So.
[00:44:19]  Especially on this island.
[00:44:21]  On Long Island, everybody's.
[00:44:24]  Criminality is rampant.
[00:44:26]  Politically, it's almost like this country is so bad and it's getting so much worse.
[00:44:31]  And it has nothing to do with the politics.
[00:44:33]  The politics are bad.
[00:44:34]  Trump is a maniac.
[00:44:37]  He's flouting the rule of law in a way where it's like, yeah, is he worse than Bush?
[00:44:40]  Well, no, Bush killed a million people or whatever, but started fake wars.
[00:44:44]  But he didn't openly flout, well, he did with the torture stuff.
[00:44:49]  Apples are, I don't know.
[00:44:51]  Point is, it's bad, though, to be so flagrantly flouting the rule of law.
[00:44:55]  That being said, the real problems are just demographic.
[00:44:58]  Like the automation, which, yeah, Andrew Yang talks about, but like, you know, we're all being like fucking priced out of a job.
[00:45:06]  There really is.
[00:45:06]  We've expanded in a way.
[00:45:08]  Like this country was kind of built on a certain level of like industrial output.
[00:45:13]  And like, you know, look, look at Detroit, for instance.
[00:45:15]  Like, Detroit is there because the automotive business needed a certain amount of people and worked in factories.
[00:45:21]  They're not doing it here anymore.
[00:45:23]  Like, Detroit shouldn't really be there.
[00:45:25]  There's no reason for Detroit to be there now.
[00:45:27]  And that's going to be a lot of the country.
[00:45:30]  We've gone into nooks and crannies in this country that don't really have a like when the job's going to come here.
[00:45:36]  They're not.
[00:45:36]  Why are they going to do it?
[00:45:37]  Listen, I think those places got to hold on till when Miami and New York are underwater.
[00:45:42]  Well, that's a fair point.
[00:45:43]  I mean, that's their only hope, right?
[00:45:45]  I mean, they should be in the middle of the day.
[00:45:46]  Detroit, it's like, hey, climate change would be the best thing that happened.
[00:45:50]  Are those cities?
[00:45:52]  Are they red states?
[00:45:53]  Because that would make sense.
[00:45:54]  That actually makes a lot of sense if it turned out that they really, they believe global warming.
[00:45:57]  They just want it to happen.
[00:45:58]  We want it now.
[00:46:00]  I mean, because that is like, you know, they'll become the new shorelines, I guess.
[00:46:05]  When you travel around the country, which I had the ability to do when I was on Burt Chrysler, and I do it all the time on my own.
[00:46:12]  But we were in Oklahoma and we were in, you know, San Antonio, Texas, and Houston, Texas.
[00:46:19]  There's a surprising amount of resiliency in certain pockets, you know, of the country.
[00:46:26]  You know, we're in one of them right now.
[00:46:28]  I mean, we're in a very wealthy, we're heading into one of the wealthiest areas in the country.
[00:46:31]  Well, sure, because we're like, look, we're next to a metropolis.
[00:46:35]  Yeah, the metropolis, at least for now.
[00:46:37]  Now, so the reality is, but the issue is when you leave any of those cities, it does not take you too long before you're in what Chris Hedges would call like a sacrifice zone.
[00:46:52]  Sure.
[00:46:53]  It doesn't take you too long.
[00:46:55]  Some of the inner ring suburbs are okay.
[00:46:57]  Some of them are still not okay.
[00:46:59]  But once you get to those outer ring suburbs.
[00:47:01]  I don't know if Chris Hedges is a homeowner because he's not thinking about how low the property taxes are in some of these sacrifice zones.
[00:47:08]  Trust me.
[00:47:09]  Tiny.
[00:47:09]  You have to see, you have to see the rainbow and the pot of gold after the storm.
[00:47:16]  In some of these spots, I know it might seem dire, but like, yeah, it's hard to get a job, but your nuts got to be so low.
[00:47:23]  Your nut is low.
[00:47:25]  The problem is what people don't understand about low nuts, nobody wants, and this is like, this is when I was doing real estate.
[00:47:33]  Like the idea of getting a deal is like, people don't understand what a deal is, you know?
[00:47:40]  Right.
[00:47:42]  Anything where you're getting it did like real, true, actual deals are few and far between.
[00:47:48]  Yeah, it's usually because a guy has got a new job, motivated by her motivation.
[00:47:52]  The guy blew his head off in the kitchen, there's still blood on the wall.
[00:47:56]  Okay, right.
[00:47:56]  Like, that's why, like, you like, how much of a factor is motivated sellers?
[00:48:01]  Like, people get a new job, maybe, or whatever.
[00:48:03]  Like, they're a factor.
[00:48:04]  It's an undeniable factor.
[00:48:06]  But when you look at areas like Detroit and stuff, you know, I think Detroit's coming up now.
[00:48:10]  It's getting better.
[00:48:11]  But people talk about some of these areas.
[00:48:12]  They're like, it's so inexpensive.
[00:48:14]  There's a reason.
[00:48:15]  Yeah.
[00:48:16]  There's a reason it's inexpensive.
[00:48:18]  There's a reason it's expensive to live in New York or the surround tri-state area.
[00:48:22]  There's a reason it's expensive to live in Los Angeles County.
[00:48:25]  There's a reason.
[00:48:26]  You know, people start talking about how inexpensive everything is.
[00:48:29]  Yeah, because there are no services.
[00:48:32]  There are, you know, God forbid you have kids that need to go to a school.
[00:48:35]  Like, the roads suck.
[00:48:36]  People can barely find you.
[00:48:38]  I mean, listen, obviously, there are places that are much less expensive than where we are.
[00:48:42]  And, you know, this is like a bad example.

=== Los Angeles Cost of Living (02:44) ===

[00:48:44]  Right now, we're back.
[00:48:45]  What's going on here?
[00:48:45]  What is happening here?
[00:48:46]  There's some kind of.
[00:48:47]  It's probably for me, dude.
[00:48:49]  It's a bunch of racing thing.
[00:48:51]  There's a bunch of kids here that want to take photos of me, Ray.
[00:48:53]  They know who we are.
[00:48:54]  Is that right here to the left?
[00:48:57]  Is the Americana and Manhasset?
[00:48:59]  It's all the high-end stores.
[00:49:01]  Oh, this is the Miracle Mile.
[00:49:04]  Was that down south?
[00:49:06]  This is the Miracle Mile.
[00:49:07]  Yeah.
[00:49:07]  The Nautical Mile is down south.
[00:49:09]  The Americana has your Gucci, your product.
[00:49:11]  It feels like a miracle.
[00:49:12]  I'll be honest with you.
[00:49:12]  It feels more like just so now we're entering the North Shore.
[00:49:17]  Ben has never seen the North Shore of Long Island.
[00:49:19]  Oh, really?
[00:49:20]  He's never seen the Great Gatsby.
[00:49:22]  You know, the houses that inspired the big Rockefeller Mansion?
[00:49:28]  We're going to go in there.
[00:49:28]  We're going to see the.
[00:49:29]  They shot a wedding there.
[00:49:30]  Really?
[00:49:31]  Yeah.
[00:49:34]  It's not like the Vanderbilt Mansions, which are also Long Island.
[00:49:36]  And they're a little more upkept.
[00:49:37]  There's Vanderbilt Mansions where we're going to be.
[00:49:39]  There's a bunch of the Suffolk.
[00:49:41]  There's some over here.
[00:49:41]  Are you talking about the Big Stone Castle?
[00:49:43]  Yes.
[00:49:43]  You shot a wedding at?
[00:49:44]  Yeah.
[00:49:44]  Yeah.
[00:49:45]  I believe it was a Rockefeller Mansion.
[00:49:46]  It might have been.
[00:49:47]  It has a name.
[00:49:48]  I forget.
[00:49:49]  Philemon or something.
[00:49:50]  It's in Sands Point.
[00:49:51]  But it's usually like that.
[00:49:52]  That's not usually used for that kind of stuff.
[00:49:54]  They shot Great Expectations.
[00:49:56]  The Ethan Hawk version.
[00:49:59]  They shot part of it there.
[00:50:00]  Yeah.
[00:50:01]  And they used it for the show at Will Arnett.
[00:50:04]  They're running wild, so it doesn't matter.
[00:50:06]  Point is, I was allowed in these places.
[00:50:10]  You would think that.
[00:50:11]  Yeah, you were taking photos.
[00:50:12]  Yeah, but I was elbow to elbow with some powerful people.
[00:50:16]  Of course.
[00:50:17]  And I'm sure they were thrilled.
[00:50:19]  They didn't mind.
[00:50:20]  It was fine.
[00:50:21]  They found me.
[00:50:23]  They respect hard.
[00:50:24]  Well, they like seeing a guy sweat and run around.
[00:50:27]  Yeah, they like seeing a guy kind of get abused.
[00:50:31]  You know, they like to see a white guy get abused.
[00:50:34]  They like white slaves.
[00:50:35]  Yeah.
[00:50:36]  They don't want, they like to see a fat white guy running around.
[00:50:40]  Was that game that's exciting?
[00:50:41]  Shockingly has born on the floor.
[00:50:43]  They're born on the floor.
[00:50:45]  They love seeing a white fat guy sing for a supper.
[00:50:50]  Yeah.
[00:50:51]  But then I put my pictures on the plasma screens, and they were all very like, oh, this guy.
[00:50:56]  Here's St. Francis Hospital.
[00:50:57]  This is where my grandmother died of a heart thing where they pierced her esophagus while doing a scope or something.
[00:51:03]  Even as a young kid, I was aware that this was supposed to be Lee Heart Hospital.
[00:51:07]  Right.
[00:51:07]  I know.
[00:51:08]  And they just killed her.
[00:51:09]  Yeah.
[00:51:09]  They killed her.
[00:51:10]  Her doctor drives to Bentley, Dr. Isradi.
[00:51:12]  Oh, God.
[00:51:13]  He drove at Bentley.
[00:51:14]  He's like, yeah, we feel real bad about killing her.
[00:51:16]  Yeah, we're just like, let's just poke around then there.
[00:51:19]  We'll see what we're fine.
[00:51:20]  Ah!
[00:51:21]  She's done.
[00:51:21]  She's done.
[00:51:22]  Sorry.
[00:51:23]  Sorry.
[00:51:24]  We stuck her.
[00:51:25]  Yeah.
[00:51:26]  Our bed.
[00:51:27]  Sorry.

=== Mrs. Chang's Bedtime Pranks (15:04) ===

[00:51:29]  Hey, all right.
[00:51:30]  I got to go to lunch.
[00:51:31]  We might as well take lunch early.
[00:51:33]  Let's take lunch early.
[00:51:36]  I mean, it was really crazy.
[00:51:37]  I remember going out there.
[00:51:39]  Did she die on the spot?
[00:51:40]  No, it took a while.
[00:51:41]  We went in and said goodbye and kiss and, you know, and she was like not conscious towards the end.
[00:51:46]  It's very sad when you have somebody like that.
[00:51:48]  And then you're in the wing where everyone's dying and you look at all the other families and they got someone dying.
[00:51:52]  Yeah.
[00:51:53]  You know, and everybody's kind of, you know, kind of crying.
[00:51:57]  And some people are out smoking butts and some people, you know, everybody's on their phone.
[00:52:01]  Everybody's stressed out.
[00:52:03]  You know, back at that point, I had nothing going on in comedy, pretty much.
[00:52:07]  I mean, I had a little teeny bit going on.
[00:52:09]  I remember that too.
[00:52:10]  So I was like, you know, I was like leaving that and then going to perform in some bar.
[00:52:14]  Probably, yeah.
[00:52:15]  You know?
[00:52:16]  Or maybe it could be.
[00:52:17]  I think you might have already done like a point.
[00:52:22]  I think I had done JFL.
[00:52:23]  I think she died in 2018.
[00:52:25]  I'm exaggerating.
[00:52:25]  I had more going on than I give myself credit for, but not a lot.
[00:52:30]  Not a ton.
[00:52:30]  I killed your career in 2018.
[00:52:33]  My career in 2018.
[00:52:35]  So now we're heading into...
[00:52:36]  Now, you, have you ever had a wealthy friend?
[00:52:39]  This is something I wanted to ask you.
[00:52:41]  Have you ever had a rich friend?
[00:52:43]  A rich friend.
[00:52:44]  Have you ever had someone that would let you in their home?
[00:52:47]  Have you ever had a friend with a brand new car?
[00:52:50]  What is the, is that from Andy?
[00:52:52]  No, it's from Fill Around the Roof.
[00:52:54]  If I was a rich man, have you had a rich friend?
[00:52:57]  Have you ever had a person that would introduce you to their parents and bring you in their home?
[00:53:02]  I had friends who had more money than me.
[00:53:05]  You know, they might have had an Super Nintendo and the Genesis.
[00:53:09]  Right, that's not exactly what I'm going for.
[00:53:10]  So did you have friends of wealthy means?
[00:53:13]  I had a few friends in high school that were wealthier than not, but I'm talking about, you know what I want, baby.
[00:53:19]  I want that real money.
[00:53:20]  Yeah, why would they be friends with me?
[00:53:22]  By the way, you need to start getting confidence.
[00:53:27]  As an adult, I became friends.
[00:53:28]  I befriended men who I worked with who had money.
[00:53:33]  They didn't really.
[00:53:34]  Listen, I kind of understand that because I had thought people liked good personalities.
[00:53:41]  No one does.
[00:53:43]  And no one cares if you're intelligent.
[00:53:45]  That's almost like.
[00:53:47]  They always say as a kind of like, yeah, you're pretty intelligent.
[00:53:50]  But it's never like here with some money.
[00:53:53]  It's just like, why don't you come have dinner with us?
[00:53:58]  No one cares.
[00:53:59]  It's always kind of like, yeah, you're really intelligent.
[00:54:01]  You'd think you'd be better off.
[00:54:03]  Like, you'd think you wouldn't be such a fucking loser.
[00:54:05]  Right.
[00:54:06]  That's always the vibe I get when people tell me I'm smart.
[00:54:10]  So, I mean, I have people.
[00:54:11]  Here's the thing.
[00:54:11]  Like, you know, there's different types of wealth.
[00:54:13]  I know people who are pretty well off, who live in nice areas, who kind of work their way up there.
[00:54:19]  And I know people, you know, the DJ business.
[00:54:23]  I was disappointed.
[00:54:25]  And you had always told me.
[00:54:26]  Yeah.
[00:54:26]  And I never understood.
[00:54:28]  You had always said, I said, maybe if I do like a Netflix and stuff, maybe like rich people will start to befriend me.
[00:54:34]  And you had always said you looked at me like I was insane.
[00:54:36]  Well, like, why would they want?
[00:54:38]  I know.
[00:54:38]  I didn't know.
[00:54:39]  I thought they might think it was interesting.
[00:54:41]  But it's like that I had fought my way through comedy and I was, but no one cares.
[00:54:47]  Nor should they.
[00:54:48]  Nor should they care.
[00:54:49]  Same way that when someone comes up to you after a show is a little too like familiar and like, you don't hate them.
[00:54:55]  You're happy they're there.
[00:54:56]  But it's a little like, ah, okay.
[00:54:58]  Like it's getting a little awkward now.
[00:54:59]  That's like you're doing it in the reverse way.
[00:55:03]  But you see good-looking people get that all the time.
[00:55:05]  Like Ben.
[00:55:06]  If Ben didn't have a fiancé, Ben could make friends with really wealthy people because people just like good-looking people around.
[00:55:12]  He's good-looking.
[00:55:13]  He's all right.
[00:55:14]  He's compared to us, he's better.
[00:55:15]  Well, look, compared to us, a fucking otter getting fucked with a tree branch is better.
[00:55:20]  Wait, hold on.
[00:55:21]  I don't think that's true.
[00:55:23]  I don't think that's true at all.
[00:55:25]  Are you saying people would rather see an otter get raped?
[00:55:27]  Sodomite?
[00:55:28]  Essentially fucked.
[00:55:31]  I think Ben is good looking.
[00:55:32]  I think most people would see him.
[00:55:34]  But he's not.
[00:55:35]  I don't think he's.
[00:55:36]  I don't think he's got magnetic good looks that disarm the wealthy.
[00:55:40]  I'm saying you put our personalities and intelligence in his box.
[00:55:45]  Can we do that?
[00:55:46]  No, dummy.
[00:55:47]  Let's kill him anyway.
[00:55:48]  But I'm saying, let's kill him and rape him anyway.
[00:55:51]  Like, we kill you, and then Ray's like, let's rape him.
[00:55:53]  Like, you didn't even think he was good looking.
[00:55:55]  Well, what are we going to do with a warm dead body?
[00:55:58]  What are we going to do with it?
[00:55:59]  We're going to waste it.
[00:56:02]  My point is that I feel like if I was good looking, things would be better.
[00:56:06]  Of course.
[00:56:07]  Am I wrong?
[00:56:09]  What is water wet?
[00:56:10]  What's your point?
[00:56:14]  I don't think people have a tolerance for fat people.
[00:56:19]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:56:21]  I don't think people think that like they don't.
[00:56:24]  Do you realize how rich you have to be to be interesting?
[00:56:28]  And if you're fat, like, Lizzo had to be the biggest star in music for people to tolerate her because she's fat.
[00:56:34]  Dude, you critique these people who like go on there and go like, yeah, queen, whatever, and like the fat, like fat pride and all that.
[00:56:41]  But like, that's the level of insanity, like insane propaganda you have to do just to get people not to hate fat people.
[00:56:48]  It's so true.
[00:56:49]  You don't hit them with rocks.
[00:56:50]  It is true.
[00:56:51]  You need to convince them that they're like team fatty.
[00:56:55]  It's like you aim for beautiful just to get people not to literally burn them at the stake.
[00:57:00]  Yeah, that's true.
[00:57:01]  Yeah, dude.
[00:57:02]  When I grew up, people hated fat people.
[00:57:04]  They were repulsed by them.
[00:57:05]  Hated them.
[00:57:06]  No one hates a fat person more than the fat person.
[00:57:08]  I know.
[00:57:09]  Do you ever have any fat friends?
[00:57:10]  I never had any fat friends before you.
[00:57:12]  Not really.
[00:57:14]  Yeah, I mean, I never, I was like, the idea of team team.
[00:57:17]  I'm trying to be safe just to make it okay because I'm fat.
[00:57:20]  That's the only thing I can do.
[00:57:21]  Nothing is fat.
[00:57:22]  I've done multiple specials, multiple podcasts.
[00:57:25]  You know, it's like...
[00:57:26]  There is nothing worse in the world.
[00:57:27]  In this world, there's nothing worse than two fat people teaming up.
[00:57:31]  Yeah, that's true.
[00:57:33]  Or a talentless, boring fat person.
[00:57:35]  Oh, God.
[00:57:36]  If you are fat, you have to have anecdotes.
[00:57:39]  You have to go into every room and start doing a jig immediately.
[00:57:42]  You have to.
[00:57:43]  Ben can just sit around.
[00:57:44]  That's why Ben kind of Ben doesn't really have a personality.
[00:57:48]  He's just kind of like, he's just kind of always tired.
[00:57:51]  That's like his personality.
[00:57:52]  He's always like tired, like he just woke up.
[00:57:54]  But Jared is just kind of that.
[00:57:57]  He doesn't have a personality either, probably.
[00:57:59]  Right, but I don't know.
[00:57:59]  See, the other guy, you know, the tired looks.
[00:58:02]  He has the looks of a guy.
[00:58:04]  You just keep shitting on Ben.
[00:58:05]  My point is that.
[00:58:06]  There's levels to this shit.
[00:58:08]  I know.
[00:58:08]  No one's thinking he's yet lettered.
[00:58:10]  Ben can't pull off like the dark, brooding good looks where you can be a dick to everyone.
[00:58:14]  He doesn't have it like that.
[00:58:15]  But he just has this thing where he's like sleepy and bashful.
[00:58:19]  If me and you were sleepy and bashful.
[00:58:20]  Ben looks like twinks, Ben.
[00:58:22]  They would tase us.
[00:58:23]  Not everyone finds that.
[00:58:24]  That is not like the marker, the social marker.
[00:58:27]  Whatever you think is good looking, Ray, like dirty, disgusting, fucking muscle people that are all on steroids.
[00:58:33]  He doesn't know dicks.
[00:58:34]  He's really shy and he seems unsure of himself.
[00:58:36]  I mean, he's very charming.
[00:58:37]  My point is that.
[00:58:38]  He doesn't seem to.
[00:58:40]  I know that you're insulted.
[00:58:41]  Okay, you're good looking too, Ray.
[00:58:43]  I'm not.
[00:58:43]  You're good looking too.
[00:58:45]  I didn't mean that Ben was.
[00:58:46]  Ben is 300 pounds less than you and has a full head of hair.
[00:58:50]  But my point was that Ben doesn't have to have a personality and he doesn't.
[00:58:55]  Yes.
[00:58:56]  Me and you have to fucking dance around.
[00:58:58]  We have to fucking kid around.
[00:59:00]  We have to fucking.
[00:59:01]  We're all in the same minivan right now.
[00:59:03]  We're all.
[00:59:06]  My point is that.
[00:59:08]  Okay, we're going into Sand's Point now.
[00:59:10]  Oh, there's a cop giving someone a ticket.
[00:59:12]  It doesn't seem that much nicer than my neighborhood.
[00:59:14]  Why is there a cop giving someone a ticket?
[00:59:15]  Well, we're not there yet, you fucking dumb.
[00:59:17]  This could be Deer Park.
[00:59:18]  First of all, no, it could be.
[00:59:20]  Few more trees.
[00:59:20]  First of all, no, it could be.
[00:59:21]  A few more trees.
[00:59:22]  It could not be Deer Park.
[00:59:24]  Let's get that straight.
[00:59:25]  Right now.
[00:59:26]  That guy's got a fucking nice hat.
[00:59:29]  We're not into Sands Point yet.
[00:59:31]  Here we go.
[00:59:32]  Right here.
[00:59:32]  The Village of Sands Point.
[00:59:33]  Okay.
[00:59:33]  You're going to feel a change.
[00:59:34]  You feel a change, Ben.
[00:59:37]  Yeah.
[00:59:37]  That's what rich people have.
[00:59:39]  They have horses.
[00:59:39]  You dumb fuck.
[00:59:40]  All right.
[00:59:42]  I may have been on a horse once.
[00:59:43]  I can't remember.
[00:59:44]  So, here, we're going to show you all the castles, but it's just Stone Castle.
[00:59:48]  Will you slow down?
[00:59:49]  It's a winding road.
[00:59:50]  You have one hand on the wheel.
[00:59:52]  Can we not die?
[00:59:54]  All right.
[00:59:55]  Look at this person jogging.
[00:59:56]  Look at this fat mess jog.
[00:59:57]  This is what I mean.
[00:59:58]  Look at this big pig.
[00:59:59]  She's like a third the size of us.
[01:00:01]  I know, but she's still a big beef cake.
[01:00:05]  She's still a big beef cake.
[01:00:06]  So here's Sands Point Preserve.
[01:00:10]  We're going to go in there in a little bit.
[01:00:12]  That's where.
[01:00:12]  Yeah, that's the castle, I think.
[01:00:14]  Or no, man.
[01:00:14]  My mind's bigger, I think, actually.
[01:00:17]  Yeah.
[01:00:18]  But I'm just saying.
[01:00:18]  Helen Keller.
[01:00:19]  Oh, is this where Helen Keller was deaf up and blind?
[01:00:21]  She was up in Sands Point.
[01:00:23]  No.
[01:00:24]  It was the Helen Keller School.
[01:00:26]  So there's a lot of media types that live out here, a lot of big business people.
[01:00:29]  This is the Great Gatsby.
[01:00:30]  This is called the East Egg.
[01:00:31]  Greatneck is the West Egg.
[01:00:32]  The East Ag is the, you know, the older money, whatever.
[01:00:37]  So we're going to go down here.
[01:00:39]  Now the houses are starting to get nice.
[01:00:41]  They're just too big.
[01:00:42]  You can see them.
[01:00:43]  You can see they're starting there.
[01:00:45]  What are you going to do?
[01:00:45]  You're going to have an indoor tennis court?
[01:00:47]  That sounds nice, Ray.
[01:00:49]  I mean, I guess.
[01:00:50]  You walk in the house.
[01:00:51]  You say you spend $5 million, $10 million on a house.
[01:00:54]  You walk in, it smells like sweat.
[01:00:56]  Nice.
[01:00:56]  That's what I'm sure what it is.
[01:00:58]  These people have friends, right?
[01:00:59]  Don't get angry at them because they have parties and friends.
[01:01:02]  Yeah.
[01:01:02]  Okay.
[01:01:03]  There's too much, like, the hills are too steep in this road.
[01:01:06]  The hills are alive with this.
[01:01:08]  Look how steep that driveway is.
[01:01:10]  It's crazy.
[01:01:10]  Yeah, but these are hills.
[01:01:12]  This is where you're.
[01:01:12]  You don't have to drive up that in the snow.
[01:01:14]  Yeah, well, that is true.
[01:01:16]  I guess we should just live in fucking deer park.
[01:01:18]  I mean, look, it's flat land.
[01:01:20]  Flat land.
[01:01:21]  It is flat land.
[01:01:23]  Flatlands, the cops don't have to work hard when they pull you out of your house because you had a domestic.
[01:01:27]  Imagine me dying in one of these houses.
[01:01:28]  The headache that would be.
[01:01:30]  By the way, a lot of these people can imagine you dying in one of these houses because that's what would happen if you went in one of these houses.
[01:01:36]  You would be killed.
[01:01:38]  Okay?
[01:01:39]  See that on the hill, Ben?
[01:01:40]  See, these are tacky.
[01:01:42]  Yeah, you're right, Ray.
[01:01:43]  It's all tacky.
[01:01:44]  It's a beautiful, classy spot.
[01:01:45]  Okay?
[01:01:46]  It's very nice over here.
[01:01:48]  I can't wait till the cops pull us over and they're like, what the fuck are you doing?
[01:01:52]  We're podcasting.
[01:01:52]  You're like, cut this shit out.
[01:01:55]  I mean, Sands Point, you know, you're looking at four or five million dollar homes.
[01:02:02]  You're looking at beautiful property, you know, really nice.
[01:02:05]  You know, this is open my window a little bit.
[01:02:06]  I want to see some of the nice Sands Point air.
[01:02:09]  No, it is nice.
[01:02:10]  The air is nice.
[01:02:11]  It's fresh.
[01:02:12]  You got fresh.
[01:02:13]  You get a fresh air.
[01:02:14]  And you know what it is, dude?
[01:02:14]  There's no commercial establishments in Sands Point.
[01:02:17]  There's no sidewalks in Sands Point.
[01:02:18]  Yeah, it's just a maze of trees and mansions.
[01:02:20]  I mean, this is really, it's real residential living.
[01:02:23]  So imagine me and Ray were realtors and like we're taking somebody around in this minivan.
[01:02:27]  They're like, why are you working with these two?
[01:02:29]  And he'd be like, listen, their methods seem like unconventional, but these are the two best realtors on the North Shore Long Island.
[01:02:37]  The houses are very far away and the hills provide a sound buffering so they can't hear the children.
[01:02:42]  Listen, Mrs. What's your name, Mrs. Chang?
[01:02:44]  Mrs. Chang, smell that, Mrs. Chang.
[01:02:48]  That's the smell of grass.
[01:02:50]  Not the smell of raped children.
[01:02:53]  Right.
[01:02:54]  But you can do that too, Mrs. Chang.
[01:02:56]  No, that's the point.
[01:02:57]  Anything you want.
[01:02:58]  You're far away.
[01:02:59]  You can spread your legs out.
[01:03:01]  So here we go, right?
[01:03:02]  Now, this is back there.
[01:03:04]  What happens there?
[01:03:05]  Who goes in that gate?
[01:03:06]  Well, that's the Gatsby.
[01:03:10]  That's Daisy Buchanan's house or something.
[01:03:12]  Why does it look like a fucking rape cage?
[01:03:14]  Because what do you think it is, Ray?
[01:03:15]  Why do you think you make all this money so you can eat Chateau Briand?
[01:03:18]  These people want to fucking have a little fun.
[01:03:21]  You know what I mean?
[01:03:22]  Nobody's making it.
[01:03:23]  So here, you're going to be able to see.
[01:03:24]  Do you think people, they hunt people here ever?
[01:03:26]  I don't know.
[01:03:27]  Probably.
[01:03:28]  Why wouldn't they?
[01:03:29]  I'd like to.
[01:03:29]  So, Ben, you see the water?
[01:03:31]  No, you don't.
[01:03:32]  I want you to see it.
[01:03:33]  We see it.
[01:03:34]  Okay.
[01:03:37]  That's nice.
[01:03:38]  Yeah.
[01:03:39]  This is on the water.
[01:03:40]  You get a great view in New York City.
[01:03:42]  You dumb fucks.
[01:03:43]  This is all my friends live here.
[01:03:45]  I grew up here.
[01:03:45]  You didn't know anyone here.
[01:03:47]  I do, right?
[01:03:48]  You've never met anyone who lives in San Spain.
[01:03:50]  I do.
[01:03:51]  I have not, actually.
[01:03:54]  I probably have met some of these people.
[01:03:56]  See, here you can see the homes right on the water.
[01:03:58]  These are $10 million.
[01:03:59]  I photographed Donald Trump one time.
[01:04:01]  Where did you photograph Trump?
[01:04:02]  And here's Mafia.
[01:04:03]  You can tell Mafia, Ben.
[01:04:05]  The Trump golf course when he was doing a break.
[01:04:07]  And you can always tell Mafia House.
[01:04:08]  You know?
[01:04:09]  Terracotta.
[01:04:10]  Yeah.
[01:04:10]  You're like, yep, mob.
[01:04:12]  Mafia.
[01:04:14]  Nothing wrong with that.
[01:04:15]  They're just trying to make their bones.
[01:04:17]  See, these are, these are not.
[01:04:20]  Like, rich, yeah, right?
[01:04:21]  Oh, yeah, Oh, yeah.
[01:04:23]  Oh, yeah.
[01:04:24]  How many people who were like, who benefited directly from the Iraq war lose here?
[01:04:29]  Multiple people.
[01:04:30]  Right.
[01:04:31]  I mean, this is, you know, there are some people here that are, but no, this is massive, like, intergenerational wealth.
[01:04:46]  You know, the thing is, these houses, what are they, like, 10 million, 20 million?
[01:04:50]  I mean, you want to see a crazy house?
[01:04:51]  We're allowed on this.
[01:04:52]  No.
[01:04:52]  Is this even a road?
[01:04:54]  No.
[01:04:54]  Look, Ben, see that?
[01:04:56]  See that house?
[01:04:57]  This is like a cobblestone.
[01:04:58]  What is that place?
[01:04:59]  It's a fucking modern house.
[01:05:00]  Really?
[01:05:01]  Yeah.
[01:05:02]  Alf Waldo Emerson make that or something?
[01:05:04]  Yeah, that's what happened.
[01:05:04]  Frank Lloyd Wright, whatever CDC.
[01:05:07]  Center for Disease Control?
[01:05:08]  Yeah.
[01:05:09]  Probably what it is.
[01:05:10]  They probably invented AIDS here.
[01:05:11]  That's where Ray was born.
[01:05:14]  Ray was born on Plum Island.
[01:05:16]  Ray's like, I was born on an island called Plum.
[01:05:19]  I swam to saw.
[01:05:22]  I had a rib sandwich, a riblet patty, with melted American cheese.
[01:05:26]  It was keto.
[01:05:28]  I said, no sauce.
[01:05:30]  There was a little residual.
[01:05:32]  There's a little.
[01:05:33]  By the way, what he describes as a little residual is like a vat of sauce.
[01:05:37]  A little residual.
[01:05:39]  Just a little residual.
[01:05:41]  It's okay if that had some residual.
[01:05:44]  You got to get Rayo's sauce if you want a keto, right?
[01:05:46]  That's three grams of sugar, no extra sugar.
[01:05:49]  Yeah.
[01:05:49]  That seems like, but aren't tomatoes no good?
[01:05:51]  No, you could have tomatoes.
[01:05:52]  You could have tomatoes on keto.
[01:05:54]  Really?
[01:05:54]  Yep.
[01:05:54]  I've always been told no.
[01:05:56]  Well, who's telling you, Ray?
[01:05:57]  Dr. Atkins.
[01:05:58]  Shut up.
[01:05:59]  He doesn't know anything about keto.
[01:06:00]  It's not the same diet.
[01:06:01]  Atkins is keto.
[01:06:02]  No, it's not.
[01:06:02]  It's not.
[01:06:03]  Keto is a little stricter.
[01:06:05]  It's a little different.
[01:06:06]  What?
[01:06:06]  Yeah, I'm telling you.
[01:06:08]  What can you eat at Atkins?
[01:06:08]  You can't eat on keto.
[01:06:10]  I don't really know, but I think bullshit.
[01:06:12]  Atkinson.
[01:06:12]  I think you're going to have more vegetables and stuff on Atkins.
[01:06:16]  The whole idea of Atkins was ketosis.
[01:06:18]  I mean, they didn't call it keto.
[01:06:20]  Like all these guys calling it keto, and like you're all rebranding.
[01:06:23]  Can you look at the houses, please, you fat fuck and enjoy.
[01:06:27]  Let's get some bacon.
[01:06:28]  We're going to eat later.
[01:06:29]  Just enjoy.
[01:06:30]  This is a nice treat for everyone.

=== Google Maps Police Encounters (15:11) ===

[01:06:34]  They're having a party here.
[01:06:36]  Oh, like let's ask them what they do.
[01:06:38]  We're here.
[01:06:39]  Ask them if they work in the defense industry.
[01:06:41]  Don't do it.
[01:06:41]  Don't call the police and dude.
[01:06:44]  Just wave, wave to the vampire.
[01:06:46]  It's a team something.
[01:06:48]  That means that there's team torture.
[01:06:51]  They have tie-dye shirts.
[01:06:53]  Team torture.
[01:06:54]  And they're going into a house and they're going to sacrifice a child.
[01:06:59]  It's Sunday, baby.
[01:07:01]  I've never seen this many cards.
[01:07:02]  Yeah, this is a problem.
[01:07:03]  I bet you this is a big event.
[01:07:04]  It's a big political event or something.
[01:07:06]  Yeah, Joe Biden's.
[01:07:08]  Joe Biden's out here.
[01:07:09]  Wouldn't it be great if Joe's here?
[01:07:11]  Dude, how great would it be if Joe's in there just saying the N-word?
[01:07:15]  Listen, we all hate peep.
[01:07:18]  I work for a peep.
[01:07:22]  That humpity peep.
[01:07:24]  Trying to tell me what to do.
[01:07:28]  So we've left Sands Point now.
[01:07:30]  We're nowhere in the room.
[01:07:30]  No, we're still in it.
[01:07:31]  Okay, so what was that called?
[01:07:32]  That was just the reserve?
[01:07:34]  No, that's one of the roads, right?
[01:07:36]  That was just a road?
[01:07:38]  That felt like a weird, like a wildlife preserver for rich people.
[01:07:42]  That's probably what it was.
[01:07:45]  I mean, I mean, like, oh, you're a rich people.
[01:07:48]  Like, when America is no longer, they'll still be living there.
[01:07:51]  They'll be okay.
[01:07:52]  You'll observe them, living in their natural, like, their rich habitat.
[01:07:55]  Yeah.
[01:07:56]  Take a tour around there.
[01:07:58]  You'll get to win that.
[01:08:00]  If you salvage enough rats in the great rat competition they have in New York City.
[01:08:06]  In the great rat competition in New York City.
[01:08:09]  Kids will have to scour for rats.
[01:08:11]  How does it sound, Ben?
[01:08:12]  Does it sound okay with the windows open?
[01:08:14]  Great.
[01:08:15]  The kid who gets the most rats gets to witness poor people.
[01:08:18]  I mean, rich people.
[01:08:20]  I don't know.
[01:08:22]  If you were running for president, right?
[01:08:24]  Tell me how it happened.
[01:08:25]  Look, here's what we're going to do.
[01:08:28]  Everyone wants to tax the rich.
[01:08:29]  I don't want to tell you, but we pick 10% of the rich at random and we seize their assets.
[01:08:36]  Okay, interesting.
[01:08:38]  You could still be wealthy.
[01:08:39]  America is built on gambling.
[01:08:42]  Yes.
[01:08:42]  That's what we are.
[01:08:43]  We're gambling.
[01:08:44]  That's really what it is.
[01:08:44]  It's really, you came on the Mayflower.
[01:08:46]  It was a fucking gamble.
[01:08:47]  It was a risk.
[01:08:48]  You know, I mean, yeah, you bought slaves.
[01:08:50]  That was a little more of a sure thing, I guess.
[01:08:52]  But they could have gotten sick.
[01:08:54]  They could have gotten sick.
[01:08:55]  Absolutely.
[01:08:56]  The health of your slaves is a gamble.
[01:08:58]  Many people in America gambled on the health of their slaves.
[01:09:01]  You paid.
[01:09:02]  That's what this country was built on.
[01:09:04]  You finance a war.
[01:09:04]  Buying a slave and not knowing if they were healthy or not.
[01:09:07]  Yeah.
[01:09:08]  You finance a war.
[01:09:10]  You know, maybe it's Vietnam and you guys get fucked, even though you sell a lot of helicopters.
[01:09:14]  Who knows?
[01:09:15]  So the point is, we pick 10% of you fuckers.
[01:09:18]  And yeah, maybe you get got.
[01:09:20]  We murder you.
[01:09:22]  See the arms in the back?
[01:09:23]  See that?
[01:09:24]  We put a guillotine on the Washington Monument.
[01:09:27]  It drops down.
[01:09:28]  These are the best.
[01:09:28]  We kill some rich kids and rich families for all to see.
[01:09:33]  And then, but 90% of the wealthy get to keep it.
[01:09:36]  And then here to the right, take a look here.
[01:09:39]  That right there is one of Gatsby houses.
[01:09:41]  Gatsby wasn't a real thing.
[01:09:43]  Right.
[01:09:43]  Shut the fuck up.
[01:09:44]  It was a book by F. Guffin Journal.
[01:09:45]  Dumb fuck.
[01:09:46]  It was over here.
[01:09:47]  Actual Gatsby house.
[01:09:49]  This is West Egg.
[01:09:50]  This is East Egg, you fucking degenerate.
[01:09:52]  Well, didn't Gatsby live in West Egg?
[01:09:56]  You got to make a left here, and then you got to exit Sands Point.
[01:09:59]  And then instead of coming down here, you're going to make, you take, just turn around.
[01:10:03]  We're about to be shot.
[01:10:05]  Right up.
[01:10:05]  This guy's asking for directions.
[01:10:07]  Right up to Middleneck Road.
[01:10:08]  He's just here to distract you.
[01:10:10]  And then we're going to be executed from the other side.
[01:10:12]  Take it all the way up.
[01:10:13]  We're all going to hear it.
[01:10:15]  Maybe a knife right to my neck.
[01:10:17]  Yes, this is Middleneck Road.
[01:10:18]  You take it all the way.
[01:10:19]  Oh, this is like that guy.
[01:10:20]  You've heard the story.
[01:10:21]  When the guy was like, hey, that's the Empire State Building.
[01:10:23]  And he started saying that's what this is right now.
[01:10:27]  It'll be Middlebank.
[01:10:28]  It's about to be swarmed.
[01:10:29]  Thank you.
[01:10:30]  This is no good.
[01:10:31]  No good.
[01:10:33]  That guy was just getting a look at us.
[01:10:35]  So here's this is the Hearst Castle.
[01:10:38]  Oh, really?
[01:10:38]  This used to be.
[01:10:39]  They owned all the major.
[01:10:41]  Wait, is it the Citizen King building?
[01:10:42]  They own printing press.
[01:10:44]  Presses.
[01:10:45]  They owned all the press.
[01:10:46]  This used to be the old Hearst Castle right here.
[01:10:48]  That was the entrance to it.
[01:10:49]  This is what Xanadu?
[01:10:51]  Okay.
[01:10:52]  This is the model for Xanadu.
[01:10:54]  I don't know.
[01:10:55]  When you're from Citizen King?
[01:10:57]  Okay, this is a private road.
[01:10:58]  We probably will go to jail now.
[01:10:59]  Yeah.
[01:11:00]  But this is the head of Arizona Ice T oh, Wendy lives around here.
[01:11:08]  Wendy lives here.
[01:11:09]  Yeah, right in this house.
[01:11:11]  Right there.
[01:11:12]  Oh, wow.
[01:11:13]  You can't even see the house.
[01:11:14]  I know.
[01:11:14]  Let's get out of here.
[01:11:16]  We'll get this shot.
[01:11:18]  There's a dead end and just like, you know, cobblestone streets.
[01:11:23]  Cars beeping there.
[01:11:25]  I think that old guy put a bomb in our car.
[01:11:29]  Look at the hearse.
[01:11:29]  Look at the hearse castle.
[01:11:31]  Looking over the curve.
[01:11:32]  Jesus Christ.
[01:11:34]  Oh, God, what happened?
[01:11:35]  There's a bomb.
[01:11:36]  What are you doing?
[01:11:37]  Slow down.
[01:11:39]  Hit a bomb and blame it on us.
[01:11:48]  This is class.
[01:11:50]  See?
[01:11:51]  Is that a Tudor mansion?
[01:11:53]  No, Tudor is brick.
[01:11:55]  Now, here is what...
[01:11:56]  What's that cross all about?
[01:11:57]  Is that Crusade Castle?
[01:12:01]  Now, this is why you buy a house like this, which is what Brooklyn...
[01:12:05]  This place smells terrible.
[01:12:06]  Take a look to the right.
[01:12:07]  Look at that view, Ben.
[01:12:08]  You see that?
[01:12:09]  Oh, it looks like New York City looks like a shadow.
[01:12:11]  It's not even like Graveyard.
[01:12:12]  I have a better view from my roof.
[01:12:14]  First of all, you ball of diabetes.
[01:12:17]  That is the cover of the Great Gatsby book, Ray.
[01:12:21]  Reads books.
[01:12:21]  Oh, look at this person.
[01:12:22]  Oh, God.
[01:12:23]  Fuck me.
[01:12:24]  Imagine if you killed that guy.
[01:12:25]  I should have fucked with me.
[01:12:26]  I should kill him.
[01:12:27]  That guy looks like shit.
[01:12:29]  That does.
[01:12:30]  There's always a you in a Sands Point, right?
[01:12:33]  There's some guy.
[01:12:34]  I've been living here before.
[01:12:35]  It's cool.
[01:12:36]  You got invented Velcro?
[01:12:37]  This is a big perv.
[01:12:38]  Yeah, this is the North Shore.
[01:12:40]  The beaches suck.
[01:12:41]  They're rocky.
[01:12:42]  You know, the water is tepid.
[01:12:44]  It's not, you know, it's fresh water because it's a Long Island Sound.
[01:12:47]  Here to the left.
[01:12:48]  Look at that, Ben.
[01:12:49]  I think that sold for like 12 mil.
[01:12:54]  That's the thing.
[01:12:54]  Just 12 mil.
[01:12:55]  The people who live here have so much more than 12 million, probably, right?
[01:12:58]  I know, but, you know, you can.
[01:13:00]  I feel like I could get 12 million somehow.
[01:13:03]  Put it this way, buddy.
[01:13:04]  You can't.
[01:13:05]  I'll tell you this.
[01:13:06]  You can't.
[01:13:07]  I've always, I've taken your tour a bunch of times.
[01:13:10]  Yeah.
[01:13:11]  You talk about the building of Dakota and how it brings truck full of financial records.
[01:13:15]  Yeah.
[01:13:16]  Is there a similar process to move into a buy the fucking house?
[01:13:20]  There's no community.
[01:13:22]  No, dude, people were coming in here too with like jacked up mortgages and shit.
[01:13:26]  Oh, really?
[01:13:27]  Yeah, they were getting, you know, people were, I mean, they were buying, they were getting jumbo loans.
[01:13:31]  You know, the jumbo market was loans, I think, that were over $629,000.
[01:13:35]  That was a conforming limit.
[01:13:36]  Oh, okay.
[01:13:37]  So look how big that flag pull is or that flag.
[01:13:41]  If you, you know, listen, you could get in here for a relative.
[01:13:51]  You would think those loans would be harder to sell.
[01:13:53]  The banks would be harder to make a show a lot more.
[01:13:57]  Yeah, they had to show a lot more reserves.
[01:13:59]  They had to show a lot.
[01:14:00]  But they were still, these houses, dude, are really nothing compared to the Hamptons.
[01:14:05]  Oh, it's got a little lake here.
[01:14:06]  It's nice.
[01:14:07]  Like the Hamptons.
[01:14:07]  If you go out to the Hamptons, forget it.
[01:14:10]  I mean, this is like nothing compared to the head.
[01:14:12]  The Hamptons are.
[01:14:14]  It's like, you'd be like, is that a hotel?
[01:14:16]  No, that's a home.
[01:14:17]  You know?
[01:14:18]  I mean, this is pretty.
[01:14:22]  This is pretty.
[01:14:25]  But it's nice.
[01:14:26]  We used to smoke pot and drive around here because there was nobody ever around here.
[01:14:29]  They don't seem to have a private police force that's visible.
[01:14:32]  They do.
[01:14:32]  I mean, there was somebody pulling somebody over.
[01:14:34]  They do.
[01:14:34]  You got to be a little careful with them.
[01:14:36]  Right.
[01:14:37]  That guy's just watering his own hedges, it looks like.
[01:14:39]  Yeah, I mean, people here are a little down to earth, I think.
[01:14:42]  I mean, in their minds.
[01:14:43]  Yeah.
[01:14:44]  I water a hedge.
[01:14:46]  I water a hedge.
[01:14:48]  I'm not too good for one.
[01:14:50]  So where are we lost?
[01:14:52]  We're not lost.
[01:14:54]  So now we're going to show you the...
[01:14:56]  I've noticed when you get up here, the North Shore, your cell phone just stops working.
[01:15:01]  Yes.
[01:15:01]  And like, you can't.
[01:15:02]  Sprint does not even have surf.
[01:15:03]  They don't have surf.
[01:15:04]  Yeah.
[01:15:04]  You can't be trying to go to some of these houses sometimes.
[01:15:07]  Maybe not in Sands Point per se, but kind of next level down maybe.
[01:15:11]  I would come into their home to photograph a party.
[01:15:14]  Yeah, like you get lost.
[01:15:15]  You can't even GPS.
[01:15:16]  No, they don't.
[01:15:18]  No, they want you out.
[01:15:20]  Yeah.
[01:15:20]  They want you out.
[01:15:21]  They could put a cell tower in here.
[01:15:22]  They won't.
[01:15:23]  They're not going to put a cell tower in here.
[01:15:24]  Look at this guy just walking.
[01:15:25]  A lot of people just walk on the side of the road.
[01:15:26]  You should be walking against traffic.
[01:15:28]  That's the way I learned in the Boy Scouts so that you can see cars and jump out of the way if you have to.
[01:15:33]  This is Sands Point Road.
[01:15:34]  We're trying to find Sand's Light Road.
[01:15:36]  What's on there?
[01:15:36]  Is that a.
[01:15:37]  Well, that's when you see some.
[01:15:38]  Is that where you're going to kill me?
[01:15:39]  Yeah, that's what we're going to take again.
[01:15:40]  That's when you're going to see some bananas homes.
[01:15:43]  And I just don't know.
[01:15:45]  He lives in the Oyster Bay Cove area, right?
[01:15:46]  Yeah, it's also nice.
[01:15:48]  It's all so nice.
[01:15:50]  I've been to John McEnroe's home.
[01:15:52]  I mean, outside of it.
[01:15:53]  Why were you?
[01:15:54]  Well, I knew we knew a kid, a guy I worked with who at the point.
[01:15:57]  Can you just Google Ray Sands Light Road on your phone?
[01:16:00]  We'll see if I have a fucking connection.
[01:16:02]  He'll have a connection.
[01:16:04]  Usually not in this area.
[01:16:06]  Where's my phone?
[01:16:07]  I'll tell you one thing.
[01:16:09]  I'm glad we grew up how we grew up.
[01:16:12]  Yeah, I mean, would you really want to have this monkey on your back?
[01:16:15]  Yes.
[01:16:16]  Yes, yes.
[01:16:17]  The answer is yes, I would.
[01:16:18]  You have to live up to the world.
[01:16:19]  I was clearly being facetious.
[01:16:21]  I was clearly kidding when I said I'm glad we grew up with boomer parents who fed us poison.
[01:16:26]  I mean, I feel like I'm more adjusted, though.
[01:16:28]  Like, I understand most people would feel that way, too.
[01:16:32]  And understanding how the world works has gotten us a lot.
[01:16:34]  Yeah.
[01:16:35]  It's been a real big benefit.
[01:16:37]  Sands Light Road.
[01:16:39]  It's been a real big benefit to us.
[01:16:40]  I'll jump in directions, you mean?
[01:16:42]  Yeah, I just want to show you this one little part of it, and then we can head to the cider mill and we can get you some cider for the kids.
[01:16:47]  I'm not drinking some goddamn cider.
[01:16:49]  Why are you not having cider?
[01:16:50]  There's tons of sugar in it.
[01:16:51]  Ray, it's keto.
[01:16:53]  Yes, exactly.
[01:16:53]  Ray could have weakened this body, perfecting this body.
[01:16:56]  Ray, you have you had the crumb pie?
[01:16:58]  No.
[01:16:59]  Ray, it's keto.
[01:17:00]  It's not keto.
[01:17:01]  It's fruit.
[01:17:02]  Ray.
[01:17:03]  Ray.
[01:17:04]  It's not Ray.
[01:17:06]  The crumbs are keto.
[01:17:06]  They're keto crumbs.
[01:17:07]  Oh, God.
[01:17:08]  This is why we're still fat.
[01:17:11]  You always act like, oh, oh, when I say, yeah, I was running five miles a day.
[01:17:15]  They met Tim.
[01:17:16]  He's like, you got fat in your own.
[01:17:17]  Ray, you, what?
[01:17:18]  When were you?
[01:17:19]  I take responsibility.
[01:17:20]  But my point is, you like every night?
[01:17:23]  Let's go to the Taco Bell.
[01:17:25]  Let's go to the fucking.
[01:17:26]  Ray!
[01:17:26]  You also wanted to go to Taco Bell.
[01:17:28]  I agree.
[01:17:29]  I'm not saying it's you.
[01:17:30]  You were never running.
[01:17:31]  You ran for a while, then stopped running.
[01:17:33]  I didn't tell you to stop running.
[01:17:34]  I know.
[01:17:35]  I'm just saying that you're a bad influence.
[01:17:37]  Here's the police.
[01:17:38]  All right.
[01:17:39]  Are we pulled over?
[01:17:40]  No.
[01:17:40]  No.
[01:17:40]  No, it's the police in the farm.
[01:17:42]  Oh.
[01:17:43]  Where?
[01:17:43]  The mansion?
[01:17:44]  I guess so.
[01:17:45]  Can you find Sands Light Road?
[01:17:46]  I've got to throw my location services on.
[01:17:49]  God.
[01:17:52]  It's my fault.
[01:17:53]  Taco Bell is a great.
[01:17:54]  That's the only fast food I care about.
[01:17:55]  Yeah.
[01:17:56]  You know?
[01:17:57]  You got into trouble over that.
[01:17:59]  Why?
[01:18:00]  Didn't you get like kicked off Uber for like yelling at us?
[01:18:03]  Yeah, I attacked the Uber guy because he wouldn't take me to Taco Bell because he's being a dick.
[01:18:07]  So Sands Light Road.
[01:18:10]  He's being a dick.
[01:18:12]  Sands Light Road.
[01:18:15]  It shouldn't be that hard to say.
[01:18:16]  It's in Port Washington.
[01:18:17]  No, it's not.
[01:18:18]  Well, maybe it is.
[01:18:19]  Maybe they call this.
[01:18:20]  Maybe they call this Washington.
[01:18:22]  Yeah, hold on.
[01:18:24]  Half an hour away.
[01:18:25]  No, you're out of your mind.
[01:18:27]  It's literally, hold on.
[01:18:29]  I think we're almost here.
[01:18:32]  Ray is completely out of his mind.
[01:18:33]  I'm going by Google.
[01:18:36]  It's not.
[01:18:37]  I think.
[01:18:37]  No, it's not.
[01:18:38]  Sands Light Road.
[01:18:40]  You went to Sands Point Lighthouse?
[01:18:42]  No.
[01:18:45]  Okay, no, Ray, we're on our way.
[01:18:47]  I think we're here.
[01:18:48]  I think I got it.
[01:18:48]  I don't want to tell him.
[01:18:50]  Sands Point Road.
[01:18:51]  I'm not an idiot.
[01:18:52]  Well, I'm telling you, I know how to get where we're going.
[01:18:54]  We're going to go.
[01:18:55]  I feel the way the wealthy under.
[01:18:57]  I understand the wealthy and the wealthy understand me.
[01:19:00]  And that's why I've been able to.
[01:19:01]  You got a low jack in your ass.
[01:19:03]  That's exactly right.
[01:19:04]  Yeah.
[01:19:06]  I think I'm in the wrong spot, actually.
[01:19:08]  I don't know.
[01:19:09]  Yeah, it's probably wrong.
[01:19:11]  And I'm telling you, Google's telling me a half hour away.
[01:19:14]  It's not that.
[01:19:14]  No, it's right around here, Ray.
[01:19:17]  I mean, you're not.
[01:19:18]  It says Sands Point Road.
[01:19:20]  Sands Light Road, Sands Point, New York.
[01:19:22]  I don't want to tell you.
[01:19:23]  And it's a half hour away.
[01:19:25]  We're in Sands Point.
[01:19:26]  I mean, I don't have the best.
[01:19:27]  The whole thing is the size of the body.
[01:19:28]  It's a goddamn maze.
[01:19:29]  It's like playing Metroid.
[01:19:32]  They don't look the same.
[01:19:33]  All these fucking houses.
[01:19:35]  Oh, big mansion.
[01:19:36]  Oh, big mansion.
[01:19:37]  Oh, the big man.
[01:19:38]  Paradise.
[01:19:39]  Paradise.
[01:19:40]  That's how we sell houses as realtors.
[01:19:42]  We use reverse psychology.
[01:19:44]  Oh, you live here.
[01:19:44]  You want a big mansion?
[01:19:46]  That's the road, I think.
[01:19:47]  Cornwell's Beach Road, I think, is the road road.
[01:19:49]  Oh, Cornwell's Beach Road.
[01:19:50]  Not Sand's Light Road.
[01:19:52]  Cornwell takes his sand.
[01:19:53]  Cornwell's taking his sands, you fat slob.
[01:19:58]  Well, you're a real man.
[01:19:59]  You want a mansion?
[01:20:01]  Oh, here it is.
[01:20:02]  Maybe this is it.
[01:20:03]  The road we were already on?
[01:20:05]  I'll tell you right now.
[01:20:06]  Tim just started to turn off.
[01:20:08]  Didn't, you know, oh, here it is.
[01:20:10]  You're already on the road.
[01:20:12]  Everything I've done, I've done for the Lord.
[01:20:15]  Here it is.
[01:20:16]  I should never doubt myself.
[01:20:17]  I always know what real money is, and I should never, ever.
[01:20:21]  That's not wrong.
[01:20:22]  I should never, ever.
[01:20:24]  That's funny.
[01:20:24]  I should never.
[01:20:25]  Look at these houses, Ben.
[01:20:26]  Ben, this is the big money best.
[01:20:27]  It's too steep of a goddamn driveway.
[01:20:29]  Right, if you bring up this steep driveway again, I'm going to throw you out.
[01:20:34]  Is there any kind of community center in this town?
[01:20:38]  Basketball court.
[01:20:41]  So here's where we're going to get to the straight.
[01:20:42]  I mean, what if you want to go get like a pack of cigarettes or a taco?
[01:20:45]  You have to find it.
[01:20:46]  See your home.
[01:20:46]  You send your maid to do it.
[01:20:48]  Now, Ben, look, take a look.
[01:20:49]  I want Ben to see some wealth.
[01:20:51]  Take a look, Ben.
[01:20:53]  They're not happy.
[01:20:56]  They're not happy.
[01:20:58]  They don't understand.
[01:20:59]  See, Ben, see through the hedges.
[01:21:01]  Can you see it?
[01:21:02]  You can't see it.
[01:21:03]  I see stuff.
[01:21:04]  Oh, it's like a field.
[01:21:05]  Well, this is a...
[01:21:06]  This is blah.
[01:21:08]  It's not blah.
[01:21:09]  There's a beautiful home.
[01:21:10]  It was a batting cage.
[01:21:11]  Nice.
[01:21:11]  Okay.
[01:21:12]  We'll see it on Google image later.
[01:21:14]  Slow.
[01:21:15]  Children playing.
[01:21:16]  I don't see any children playing.
[01:21:17]  I've seen a child here all day.
[01:21:18]  What are they talking about?
[01:21:19]  See these, Ben?
[01:21:19]  This is the real money.
[01:21:20]  See this?
[01:21:22]  It's real money.
[01:21:23]  Yeah, they're that proud of their house.
[01:21:24]  They let you see it from the street.
[01:21:26]  You know what, Ray?
[01:21:27]  I don't entirely disagree with you.
[01:21:29]  I actually don't entirely disagree.
[01:21:32]  No, but they want privacy and everything.
[01:21:36]  Hey, Tim, roll my window up from sound.
[01:21:39]  I don't know why your window was rolled down, Ben.
[01:21:41]  Your window should not be down.
[01:21:42]  Your comfort is not paramount.
[01:21:44]  You're working.

=== Privacy Fences and Hedges (04:52) ===

[01:21:45]  Okay?
[01:21:46]  Fat ass.
[01:21:48]  Ray's right.
[01:21:49]  You are disgusting.
[01:21:50]  You are gross.
[01:21:51]  You're not getting any wind on these mics.
[01:21:54]  No, it's not.
[01:21:55]  See, take a look.
[01:21:56]  Take a look.
[01:21:56]  See this?
[01:21:58]  Yeah, it's just like a merino.
[01:21:59]  Like in a fucking patch audience.
[01:22:01]  Ray, I know that you're not impressed by anything.
[01:22:03]  Ben grew up in Texas in a bag of Fritos.
[01:22:06]  All right.
[01:22:07]  I was on the ocean a month ago.
[01:22:09]  It's fine.
[01:22:11]  What is this?
[01:22:12]  This is a wicker fence?
[01:22:14]  Like a wicker basket?
[01:22:15]  What is this?
[01:22:16]  They're shaped like stalks of wheat.
[01:22:20]  This is nice, actually.
[01:22:22]  Yeah, it'd be nice if it didn't say no parking.
[01:22:24]  Yeah, it does kind of ruin it.
[01:22:27]  Hacky.
[01:22:27]  It does kind of ruin it.
[01:22:29]  You know, who's going to park there anyway?
[01:22:30]  Who's going to get blown over here?
[01:22:33]  Some guy's blowing his babysitter.
[01:22:34]  It'd be funny if my aunt's car broke down and we had to explain to her why we were all the way in Sands Point.
[01:22:40]  I would probably just block everyone in my family and get out of here instead of explaining why we were in this wealthy area.
[01:22:47]  First, we get some drugs, throw them in the car first, and then...
[01:22:49]  You know, right?
[01:22:50]  Throw some Coke, frame my aunt, frame my aunt.
[01:22:55]  But it is, you know, listen, man, there's something about living by the water, dude.
[01:22:58]  I got to be honest.
[01:23:00]  You know, it's a beautiful way to live.
[01:23:03]  Yeah, I mean, Hurricane Sandy, though, these houses are probably a suspect.
[01:23:07]  I mean, that's true, but a lot of these people really kind of like natural disasters.
[01:23:11]  Right, they make a lot of money.
[01:23:12]  You know, they enjoy them.
[01:23:13]  You know, because they're like, yeah, our house got fucked, but then a million other houses got fucked, you know?
[01:23:19]  They call it the suck fund.
[01:23:21]  Suck fun.
[01:23:23]  You're sucking and fucking.
[01:23:25]  What's going on?
[01:23:27]  My name is Raymond.
[01:23:28]  I'm the new tutor.
[01:23:30]  Knock on one of the doors.
[01:23:31]  I'm the new tutor.
[01:23:32]  I'm here to teach the kids.
[01:23:33]  It's not just agents.
[01:23:35]  I'm very good, actually.
[01:23:36]  I'm here to teach them the humanities.
[01:23:39]  Chemistry.
[01:23:42]  It's a beautiful house.
[01:23:43]  What kind of berries are?
[01:23:44]  You think those are like expensive berries in the trees?
[01:23:48]  Why don't you go eat one if you collapse?
[01:23:51]  What is this fenced off?
[01:23:52]  This is the Hobbit.
[01:23:53]  What is it?
[01:23:53]  It's like a stone fence.
[01:23:55]  Cobbles.
[01:23:58]  Let's just go in your driveway and see what happens.
[01:24:00]  I mean, you know what?
[01:24:01]  If I had a license, I would.
[01:24:03]  I really would.
[01:24:04]  I'm not kidding.
[01:24:04]  If I had a license and I was in my car, I would.
[01:24:08]  I love the idea that we're just drive.
[01:24:09]  We're like, we're almost definitely going to get pulled over at some point and would get away with it if you had a license.
[01:24:15]  Well, I don't think we're going to get pulled over, right?
[01:24:17]  First of all, people know who I am when they see me.
[01:24:19]  They've seen you on the comedy knockout or whatever.
[01:24:22]  I understand.
[01:24:23]  I've been on True TV.
[01:24:25]  It's fun when somebody meets a celebrity.
[01:24:28]  Bob's officer here.
[01:24:29]  I know him from Lyman Gotham.
[01:24:33]  Hey, no, no, it's okay.
[01:24:35]  You see, like, they pull over this drunk guy and he's got a hooker.
[01:24:40]  Don't worry.
[01:24:40]  I saw my premium blends.
[01:24:42]  Don't worry about it.
[01:24:44]  This guy was great.
[01:24:45]  Let's just hit that guy.
[01:24:47]  Why not?
[01:24:48]  He's probably done bad things.
[01:24:51]  It's all over, sir.
[01:24:53]  Wouldn't it be funny if we just looked him and went, this is for Asia?
[01:24:57]  Chinam.
[01:24:58]  This is for the kids.
[01:25:00]  This is for what you did in Koala Lampor.
[01:25:02]  And he just nods knowingly.
[01:25:04]  He just nods.
[01:25:05]  He accepts his fate.
[01:25:07]  That was Sam's point.
[01:25:08]  What's everyone think?
[01:25:10]  It's a little tacky.
[01:25:11]  I don't think it's worth all the war crimes.
[01:25:14]  That's a good point.
[01:25:15]  I mean, it seems like I'm a little, like, is this really, like, I pictured, like, look, I'm not a fucking, you know, Ray's about to say something that doesn't need to be.
[01:25:25]  I thought you were going to say, like, I'm not a Rick class of man.
[01:25:28]  No, I don't want to be the bleeding heart here, but like, you know, like, if you kill one guy, they get a mansion.
[01:25:34]  Yeah, right.
[01:25:34]  But I mean, like, starting a run the cops in the minivan, bike, guy on the bike, stop sign, stop sign.
[01:25:45]  Jesus Christ.
[01:25:47]  Try not to peel rubber.
[01:25:50]  But yeah, I mean, I.
[01:25:52]  I don't want to raise the mic.
[01:25:53]  I feel like, you know, I can see killing, you know, robbing a bank, killing a guy that gets the money.
[01:25:58]  But I mean, to start a fake war, I think you would get more than this.
[01:26:03]  More than, like, you know, oh, a little privacy at a house by the water.
[01:26:07]  I mean, just like thousands of millions of Cambodian kids dead.
[01:26:11]  And like, oh, but I can fish off my dock.
[01:26:14]  And the, and like, you know, it just doesn't seem like enough.
[01:26:17]  Ray, they have multiple properties, Ray.
[01:26:19]  And you have to realize a lot of those houses you didn't see, they were beautiful.
[01:26:22]  The hedges were very nice.
[01:26:24]  You've never even seen the inside of them.
[01:26:25]  They're gorgeous.
[01:26:26]  All right, but like a million judge came aside until you've been in the kitchen.
[01:26:30]  I'm just saying, like.
[01:26:31]  You've never been in a house that is exposed barn style and the kitchen is beautiful and has a very high ceiling.
[01:26:37]  Oh.

=== Fake Wars and Shady Deals (13:32) ===

[01:26:38]  What's exposed barn?
[01:26:39]  Is that like a...
[01:26:40]  You know, like with the beams and everything.
[01:26:41]  It's fucking nice.
[01:26:42]  Like a little cathedral.
[01:26:44]  Yeah.
[01:26:44]  All right.
[01:26:45]  My goddamn mouth.
[01:26:47]  This guy's smoking a cigarette like a cool guy.
[01:26:49]  Oh, you're a cool guy?
[01:26:53]  You're being a cool guy?
[01:26:54]  Start screaming.
[01:26:55]  I mean, honestly, this looks like Long Island Avenue right now in your park.
[01:26:58]  This does not look nice.
[01:26:59]  Well, once you get out of this, you're out of this.
[01:27:00]  These people get in an escalade, roll the windows up, and they don't look out the window again until they're in their office in Midtown.
[01:27:05]  Right.
[01:27:06]  I mean, it seems so far from even the LAE that's like an extra 45 minutes to get home.
[01:27:12]  Look at this hit.
[01:27:13]  Build their little enclave closer to the LA.
[01:27:16]  I used to suck off this guy who's like a young kid.
[01:27:18]  He was like 20 and he worked at a dairy barn around here.
[01:27:22]  And his family also worked in dairy barns.
[01:27:24]  They were like a dairy barn family.
[01:27:26]  But they had pride in it and it was the saddest thing ever.
[01:27:28]  There's nothing sadder than a whole family who works at a shitty job.
[01:27:32]  I know a guy who worked at a dairy barn who got shot in the face and died.
[01:27:35]  Like, he's like, yeah, I work at Dairy Barn because my dad does.
[01:27:38]  It's like, oh, that's not the way that's supposed to work.
[01:27:40]  Let me tell you this, the guy at the dairy barn by me, he got killed, shot in the face one night.
[01:27:44]  A dairy barn.
[01:27:45]  Why?
[01:27:46]  Someone was robbing the dairy barn.
[01:27:48]  They rolled the windows up.
[01:27:51]  Can you roll my window up?
[01:27:52]  I have child locks on my goddamn window.
[01:27:55]  Why was somebody rolling?
[01:27:56]  Why was somebody, so somebody just shot him in the face?
[01:27:58]  Yeah.
[01:27:58]  Well, did he get loud or something?
[01:28:00]  Maybe he didn't want it.
[01:28:01]  Maybe he said like, oh, do you need all the money?
[01:28:03]  Or like, please, start to, you know, Long Island, a wise-ass dairy barn guy.
[01:28:08]  Hey, what are you going to do with this money?
[01:28:10]  Oh, you got what?
[01:28:11]  300 bucks?
[01:28:12]  What are you going to buy a house?
[01:28:13]  Tough guy?
[01:28:15]  He probably deserved it.
[01:28:16]  He deserved getting some lead in his face.
[01:28:18]  This is the marina we saw before.
[01:28:20]  It's a schlocky marina.
[01:28:22]  It's like anything you see in fucking, you know, Windenhurst or Patch Hog.
[01:28:27]  It's just a big nothing.
[01:28:29]  Look at that shitty boat.
[01:28:30]  Fuck these people.
[01:28:32]  Look at that shit about a shit about.
[01:28:35]  I'm not impressed by the rich.
[01:28:36]  I'll tell you that much.
[01:28:37]  I'm not impressed.
[01:28:38]  I'm not impressed.
[01:28:39]  Doesn't matter to me.
[01:28:41]  I don't give a shit about nothing.
[01:28:44]  I don't care.
[01:28:46]  I don't care what you do.
[01:28:48]  That woman looks nice.
[01:28:50]  She was elderly, right?
[01:28:52]  She's an elderly woman.
[01:28:53]  She had an ann Margaret and Grumpy Old Men.
[01:28:56]  What's the oldest you go?
[01:28:57]  I mean, I did hook up with a 53-year-old once.
[01:29:00]  Yeah, that's right.
[01:29:01]  Explain the circumstances of that.
[01:29:03]  We were both just drunk trash at a bar.
[01:29:07]  We were both.
[01:29:09]  What bar?
[01:29:10]  It was some bar up on, like, oh, God, it was like, we ended up on, it was when I was over living in like Holbrook.
[01:29:18]  It was on Porsche Road, I think.
[01:29:20]  Yeah.
[01:29:20]  What kind of woman was she?
[01:29:22]  She wasn't, she was a slender woman, had a big tuft of hair, a big matted hair, a big, like a Jerry curly kind of vibe.
[01:29:34]  Not badly.
[01:29:34]  I show people.
[01:29:35]  I have a picture of her when we were playing pool.
[01:29:37]  I'm sure she was a beautiful woman.
[01:29:40]  She wasn't bad.
[01:29:41]  She had a nice body.
[01:29:43]  And she kicked me out in the morning because I was snoring.
[01:29:48]  But, you know, we made love.
[01:29:50]  Wait a minute.
[01:29:51]  Hold on.
[01:29:52]  You made love.
[01:29:53]  Well, I don't know if I actually can perform.
[01:29:55]  We're pretty drunk.
[01:29:56]  I just collapsed.
[01:29:59]  And I woke up two hours later.
[01:30:00]  She's like, you have to go.
[01:30:05]  You collapsed.
[01:30:06]  Wait a minute.
[01:30:06]  Hold on.
[01:30:07]  I got a collapse.
[01:30:08]  Who is Marianne Dalamante?
[01:30:10]  Democrat for town cats.
[01:30:12]  Hey, Marianne.
[01:30:14]  We should call her.
[01:30:17]  I mean, Marianne.
[01:30:19]  Shit is fucked up here.
[01:30:22]  Can you fix this?
[01:30:25]  Laffy Real Estate.
[01:30:26]  Hey, Marianne.
[01:30:28]  I tried to buy a house.
[01:30:29]  Some guy told me $900,000.
[01:30:33]  What are you fucking nautics?
[01:30:34]  This place is called I Love Hearing.
[01:30:37]  I love hearing.
[01:30:39]  It's this place.
[01:30:40]  Dude, that's how we market goods and services now.
[01:30:42]  It's just things you should be able to do.
[01:30:44]  I love walking.
[01:30:46]  I want to go to I Love Walking.
[01:30:47]  You want the windows back down?
[01:30:48]  It's where he's got hot boxes here.
[01:30:52]  I love walking.
[01:30:54]  Well, I mean, undo the child lock then.
[01:30:57]  Just goes, this is the regular rap.
[01:30:58]  Anyway, no, it's a fire chief.
[01:31:02]  There's cops everywhere.
[01:31:03]  We're going to be afraid of cops.
[01:31:05]  Stop being a cunt, man.
[01:31:06]  You pussy bitch.
[01:31:07]  What is this called logistics?
[01:31:09]  Yeah, I met her at one bar.
[01:31:11]  I think she had been cut off.
[01:31:12]  I was pretty drunk.
[01:31:13]  And then she wanted some of my beer.
[01:31:15]  I gave her some.
[01:31:17]  And then, like, when we got to the girl, I want to get out of here.
[01:31:19]  I'm like, yeah, sure.
[01:31:20]  And then she's like, oh, we got to my car.
[01:31:22]  She's like, oh, I forgot my shoes.
[01:31:24]  She's barefooted, I realize, at this moment.
[01:31:26]  And I'm like, where are your shoes?
[01:31:27]  She's like, ah, they're inside somewhere.
[01:31:29]  And like, I think she had one of them.
[01:31:31]  And so I went in and I'm like, they already kind of kicked her out or they were happy she was gone.
[01:31:35]  I'm like, has anyone seen her shoe?
[01:31:37]  She's missing a shoe.
[01:31:38]  And they're like, what?
[01:31:39]  No.
[01:31:39]  And like, they're very, I went in the garbage.
[01:31:41]  I couldn't find it in the garbage.
[01:31:42]  So you were looking for her shoes in the garbage.
[01:31:44]  You were looking for this woman's shoes in the garbage.
[01:31:47]  Well, I mean, I was trying to be a nice guy.
[01:31:48]  Yeah.
[01:31:48]  But then I gave up.
[01:31:50]  Like, well, then I came back.
[01:31:51]  They don't have your shoe.
[01:31:52]  And we just left.
[01:31:52]  And we went to some other bar.
[01:31:55]  Some other bar.
[01:31:55]  She doesn't have any other stuff.
[01:31:56]  She told me, you better buy drinks this bar.
[01:31:58]  But she ended up buying all the drinks I did.
[01:32:00]  What season was it?
[01:32:02]  What month?
[01:32:03]  I think it was like the fall.
[01:32:06]  Okay, so she's shoeless in the fall.
[01:32:08]  Yeah, maybe the spring.
[01:32:09]  Maybe the spring.
[01:32:10]  I don't think it was summer.
[01:32:11]  Okay.
[01:32:12]  And you go to the next bar and she buys all the drinks.
[01:32:14]  Yeah, I mean, maybe I might have bought one round.
[01:32:16]  I don't know.
[01:32:17]  How did you know she was 53?
[01:32:19]  I think she told me.
[01:32:21]  Now, at what point do you decide that you and her are going to go home?
[01:32:24]  No, I met her.
[01:32:25]  Well, I mean, I didn't decide that, but I was like, I mean, I didn't.
[01:32:28]  Oh, at what point?
[01:32:28]  I kind of thought we were going home.
[01:32:30]  Oh, we got to my place for, we went back to my place at one point.
[01:32:33]  Is she Murray there, the cat?
[01:32:34]  Well, yeah.
[01:32:35]  Well, she came in.
[01:32:35]  She's like, this place tomorrow's like, cat piss.
[01:32:38]  Like, well, you ain't wrong.
[01:32:41]  I could have changed his little box more often, I'll admit.
[01:32:43]  Right.
[01:32:45]  So you went, she went into that.
[01:32:47]  I thought it was done, so I thought we were like, oh, that's it.
[01:32:50]  No one's getting laid at night.
[01:32:51]  By the last, she's like, let's go to my place.
[01:32:53]  And so we did.
[01:32:54]  And we, she had a nice, I mean, maybe her son just died or something.
[01:32:58]  I don't know because she seemed to have like a nice house.
[01:33:00]  And like, she didn't see.
[01:33:02]  It was much nicer than you would think.
[01:33:03]  It wasn't like a run-down, shitty house.
[01:33:06]  It was a nice house in somewhere like in Smith Towne or whatever, Merconkama.
[01:33:10]  And like it was well kept.
[01:33:11]  We danced to Van Morrison before we went to bed.
[01:33:15]  What song?
[01:33:16]  I forget.
[01:33:16]  Brown Girl, probably.
[01:33:18]  Jesus.
[01:33:19]  Maybe it was.
[01:33:20]  I mean, the visuals of this are so harrowing.
[01:33:24]  I mean, this is a horror film.
[01:33:26]  This is an absolute horror film.
[01:33:30]  I mean, that is a scene in a horror film that's talked about over and over.
[01:33:34]  People are like, did you see where they were dancing to brown-eyed girl right before it collapsed?
[01:33:40]  I mean, I can't even imagine.
[01:33:44]  I mean, you're like, what was the worst part of it?
[01:33:48]  The bloodletting?
[01:33:49]  No, not even that.
[01:33:50]  No, the torture scenes.
[01:33:52]  No.
[01:33:52]  They danced a brown-eyed girl.
[01:33:55]  Where were you dancing?
[01:33:57]  In the kitchen.
[01:33:58]  Oh, God.
[01:34:00]  And then.
[01:34:03]  Yeah, you know, we got undressed and we got into bed.
[01:34:06]  And then you can't remember what happened.
[01:34:09]  Well, I remember.
[01:34:09]  I remember not getting erected.
[01:34:13]  A lot of whiskey.
[01:34:13]  A lot of drinks.
[01:34:14]  And then what happened?
[01:34:15]  I fell asleep.
[01:34:16]  And then next thing I know, she's waking me up.
[01:34:18]  She's yelling at me.
[01:34:19]  You gotta go.
[01:34:20]  You have to go.
[01:34:22]  And I'm like, oh, romantic.
[01:34:24]  Yeah.
[01:34:24]  Nice.
[01:34:25]  And then, like, so I'm like, and I'm rushing out the door like it's a movie.
[01:34:28]  Maybe she's married.
[01:34:29]  Maybe, but she was like, oh, you don't have to go that fast.
[01:34:30]  Like, I was like, I was like hopping around, like, trying to get my pants on.
[01:34:33]  Okay.
[01:34:34]  And.
[01:34:34]  Oh, what a sweet lady, huh?
[01:34:36]  Yeah.
[01:34:36]  Well, look, I mean, maybe if I'd given her a nice, a nice bit of pipe, maybe she would have been a little less agitated by my snoring or whatever.
[01:34:47]  So then you don't keep in touch with her.
[01:34:49]  I did not.
[01:34:50]  I didn't get her a yearbook.
[01:34:52]  I don't know.
[01:34:53]  I mean, I can probably find her, but on that path that night, the bar we went to, they seemed to know who she was.
[01:34:59]  She was a regular.
[01:35:00]  I'm sure they did.
[01:35:02]  She was dancing.
[01:35:03]  We were dancing at one point in the bar.
[01:35:06]  She had no shoes.
[01:35:07]  To what song?
[01:35:08]  I think just some Miley Cyrus song or something.
[01:35:11]  Yeah.
[01:35:12]  We were playing pool.
[01:35:14]  I was like doing anything where I was holding her waist while she was teaching her how to play pool.
[01:35:17]  Oh, God.
[01:35:18]  I'm thinking of a montage of this.
[01:35:21]  It just ends with 9-11.
[01:35:23]  Like somehow you guys made 9-11 happen.
[01:35:27]  Teaching her how to play pool and dance with a brown-eyed girl.
[01:35:29]  Next thing I know.
[01:35:30]  Building Seth two towers in New York City fell.
[01:35:34]  Next thing I know, there's goddamn planes flying in the fucking buildings.
[01:35:39]  She wakes me up and she says, Get up, get up.
[01:35:41]  We're at war.
[01:35:41]  The country's at war.
[01:35:43]  Turn us to my window.
[01:35:44]  Now we're on the road.
[01:35:46]  I mean, yeah, look, I mean, she was a sweet lady.
[01:35:49]  I don't, I think.
[01:35:50]  You know, you like cider?
[01:35:51]  You like apple cider?
[01:35:52]  Yeah, it's great.
[01:35:53]  Yeah.
[01:35:53]  Apple cider.
[01:35:54]  Look, it makes you shit badly.
[01:35:55]  It doesn't.
[01:35:56]  It makes it go right through you.
[01:35:57]  It makes black people shit and my friend's mother.
[01:35:59]  What does that mean?
[01:36:00]  Meaning that they have a sensitive system to apple juice.
[01:36:03]  Apple juice makes me shit.
[01:36:05]  Okay.
[01:36:05]  It's very.
[01:36:07]  That might be a thing.
[01:36:08]  Yeah.
[01:36:09]  It's because it's like, I'm not sure.
[01:36:11]  It's a lot of fiber.
[01:36:12]  Dad has never been to Jeremy's Ale House in Freeport.
[01:36:14]  Have you been there, Ray?
[01:36:15]  I don't think so.
[01:36:16]  It's great.
[01:36:17]  Apple juice has a lot of fiber, and so does cider.
[01:36:20]  And so that's part of the whole ball game when it comes to shitting, is having a lot of fiber, liquid fiber inside you.
[01:36:27]  I have to do shows tonight at the stand.
[01:36:29]  I really don't even want to.
[01:36:30]  There's a nice country club, Bandita.
[01:36:31]  Which was this?
[01:36:32]  I don't know.
[01:36:33]  Sands Point Country, something like that.
[01:36:35]  Maybe it's North Hills.
[01:36:36]  I forget.
[01:36:37]  Yeah, I don't even want to do shows.
[01:36:38]  Like, dude, I do shows in New York.
[01:36:40]  It's just rich people.
[01:36:41]  You know, it's just wealthy young people.
[01:36:44]  And you're like, oh, I'm kind of.
[01:36:46]  You're like, I'm barely.
[01:36:48]  I'm like not as excited.
[01:36:50]  What do you do?
[01:36:50]  It's like, oh, I market, you know, my new roommate is a jewel salesperson.
[01:36:57]  Someone who sells jewel stuff.
[01:37:00]  You mean the vape?
[01:37:01]  Yeah, but not like, no, they work at a bodega, like they, like, like a corporate salesperson or something.
[01:37:06]  Okay.
[01:37:07]  So, you know.
[01:37:08]  And they're living with you.
[01:37:09]  They must be doing well.
[01:37:10]  I think we got a nice new place.
[01:37:12]  It's nice.
[01:37:12]  Yeah.
[01:37:12]  So you have a return, you and Lucy and then him.
[01:37:15]  It's a woman.
[01:37:16]  Oh.
[01:37:16]  Yeah.
[01:37:17]  What's her deal?
[01:37:18]  I don't.
[01:37:19]  I mean, she seems, she wanted to get a dog.
[01:37:22]  We told her she couldn't.
[01:37:25]  She might try to screw us and get a dog anyway.
[01:37:26]  And I don't want to kill a dog.
[01:37:29]  I'm not going to hurt a dog.
[01:37:30]  But, you know, is there anything I could do to like...
[01:37:33]  Yeah, not move in with someone who's hell-bent on getting a dog.
[01:37:36]  Oh, no, she ironed that out up front.
[01:37:38]  She would.
[01:37:39]  Well, we didn't have any power.
[01:37:40]  We already put a deposit down.
[01:37:41]  And she came in.
[01:37:43]  It's not like it was our place and she, like, we recruited her.
[01:37:46]  You know, it's like.
[01:37:47]  So, oh, you moved into her place.
[01:37:49]  No, we both is in a building.
[01:37:50]  It's an apartment building.
[01:37:52]  Yeah, so shouldn't you have sat down and had a little meeting of the minds about pets before?
[01:37:55]  We did.
[01:37:55]  And she said, if we agree, agreed, she wouldn't get a dog.
[01:37:58]  I was just worried that she's going to break her.
[01:38:00]  Because we got there, and then the lease, it's like written in, like, she can have a dog.
[01:38:04]  I'm like, what's this all about?
[01:38:06]  Like, you know, because she had gotten there before us, and it was like, is she going to get a dog?
[01:38:10]  And like, and she's trying to back end the deal here.
[01:38:13]  And she's like, no, because the lease says you can't have dogs, but you're actually allowed to.
[01:38:17]  So she said she wouldn't get a dog.
[01:38:19]  So I wrote in and made Lucy sign, you know, this whole thing of like, we do not want a dog.
[01:38:25]  I don't know.
[01:38:26]  I'm just wondering if there's any tactics I could use to if she tries to screw us to get a dog.
[01:38:33]  Throw her like stuff in the garbage.
[01:38:35]  I mean, I love that it's already a war.
[01:38:38]  How long have you been living here?
[01:38:39]  Well, she's not.
[01:38:39]  I mean, right now we're nice.
[01:38:40]  You're just anticipating a war.
[01:38:42]  I'm always anticipating a war.
[01:38:43]  I'm always predicting.
[01:38:44]  Like, we got a roommate.
[01:38:45]  She sells Jewel.
[01:38:46]  I'm getting ready to throw her shit out.
[01:38:49]  She might get a dog.
[01:38:50]  What else could I do?
[01:38:51]  Smear some blood on the door?
[01:38:54]  I'm ready.
[01:38:55]  I'm always prepared.
[01:38:56]  How did you meet this person?
[01:38:58]  The building recruited her.
[01:39:00]  They recruited her and you and Lucy?
[01:39:03]  Whatever.
[01:39:04]  I don't even understand this.
[01:39:05]  They're like, hey, you can move in here, but you got to live with this sock guy and his chick.
[01:39:10]  Hello.
[01:39:11]  I come into the apartment.
[01:39:13]  You liked it?
[01:39:14]  I live here.
[01:39:15]  Talk to the fucking dog.
[01:39:16]  I'll beat the shit out of you.
[01:39:19]  I'll fucking kill you.
[01:39:20]  And the dog.
[01:39:22]  All right.
[01:39:26]  I mean, it's amazing to me.
[01:39:32]  Look, I wanted a nice place to live, finally.
[01:39:35]  It's not that nice.
[01:39:36]  I mean, you know, we have a refuse room and we have a place to put our garage.
[01:39:42]  You know, it's nice.
[01:39:43]  Yeah.
[01:39:44]  You ever seen this like a room where you just throw the garbage in?
[01:39:47]  No.
[01:39:47]  You have a chute and like the recycling goes.
[01:39:49]  It's just a room and you're like, you don't have to go outside.
[01:39:51]  It's nice.
[01:39:52]  It's one of these buildings.
[01:39:53]  Got a gym in the basement.
[01:39:54]  It's nice.
[01:39:56]  Oh, I see what you mean.
[01:39:58]  Excuse me.
[01:39:59]  When you're in Brooklyn, you're enjoying it there.
[01:40:01]  I'm enjoying it.
[01:40:02]  My roof is wonderful.
[01:40:03]  I was talking to you the other day on the phone.
[01:40:05]  I was looking at the Freedom Tower.
[01:40:07]  Oh, good.
[01:40:08]  Oh, good for you.
[01:40:09]  It was a nice view.

=== Mall Garbage Chutes and Conspiracies (02:41) ===

[01:40:10]  I was there last night.
[01:40:10]  I was at the 9-11 Mall.
[01:40:12]  You know that mall we've been to?
[01:40:13]  Oh, yeah.
[01:40:13]  The strange.
[01:40:15]  They built that out of the car.
[01:40:17]  That whole thing is built from repurposed parts of the buildings.
[01:40:21]  Yeah.
[01:40:21]  Yeah.
[01:40:22]  I mean, like a whale car.
[01:40:23]  It's really, it's a joke that you'd make, and somebody would tell you not to be inappropriate.
[01:40:28]  And it's then the reality is it's legitimately a mall.
[01:40:32]  Yeah, you'd be literally at the old memorial site when you're reading the names back in like 03.
[01:40:38]  Yeah.
[01:40:38]  They'd be like, yeah, five years is going to be a Prada here.
[01:40:41]  Yeah.
[01:40:41]  Like, shut up.
[01:40:42]  Shut up, right?
[01:40:43]  No, stop.
[01:40:44]  Now it's exactly what it is.
[01:40:46]  Patrice O'Neill called it years ago.
[01:40:47]  He's like, yeah, there'll be people with selfies taking selfies.
[01:40:50]  You know, taking selfies.
[01:40:52]  I mean, it's not just that it's a mall.
[01:40:54]  It's one of the most affluent malls I've ever seen in my life.
[01:40:56]  Oh, it's only exclusively rich stores.
[01:41:01]  Well, yeah, you know, the false flag's got to be worth something, right?
[01:41:04]  Yeah.
[01:41:05]  Nobody did a false flag to move in a Walmart.
[01:41:08]  We ain't doing this for Denny's.
[01:41:09]  Yeah.
[01:41:09]  This is Mont Blanc pens, you dumb fuck.
[01:41:13]  You want to sign contracts with a nice pen.
[01:41:15]  Yeah.
[01:41:16]  I think everyone now accepts that the day is shady.
[01:41:19]  And I don't mean everyone, but like most people in our generation and younger.
[01:41:23]  The day is shady?
[01:41:24]  What?
[01:41:24]  9-11.
[01:41:25]  Oh, is that the new term for 9-11?
[01:41:27]  The day?
[01:41:28]  No, I just said.
[01:41:29]  The day shit.
[01:41:30]  Like, the day.
[01:41:31]  I like that.
[01:41:32]  Yeah.
[01:41:32]  Well, I'm just saying, I think after Epstein and after everything that everybody's seen, everybody's kind of like revisiting that in their own head, going, yeah, it doesn't make any sense.
[01:41:42]  There was a point, like when the JFK film came out, people were still like, fuck this, all of our stuff.
[01:41:48]  But I feel like by 2002 or 4, and we're seeing the Iraq war.
[01:41:54]  We know something's crooked.
[01:41:54]  It's like, yeah, they probably killed Kennedy.
[01:41:57]  It takes you 20, 30 years.
[01:41:58]  Yeah.
[01:41:59]  But like, are they ever going to like, no, for sure?
[01:42:01]  Probably not.
[01:42:02]  But, like, just like in what, 78 or like 85, whatever, there's some House committee has like a select circle.
[01:42:09]  They conclude there's a problem.
[01:42:10]  There's a political evidence.
[01:42:11]  There's probably a probable conspiracy.
[01:42:13]  They were all like, huh?
[01:42:14]  All right.
[01:42:15]  Like, we're like, ha, I guess so.
[01:42:19]  Someone did something.
[01:42:21]  Whatever you say.
[01:42:24]  But yeah, so 9-11, I mean, people are kind of like, I don't know how you could see the Iraq war and how, and the whole path of it.
[01:42:32]  Because Afghanistan is one thing.
[01:42:34]  Yeah, Afghanistan, we go there.
[01:42:35]  I mean, of course, it's bullshit, but it makes sense at least on paper.
[01:42:39]  But like, the amount of people who are convinced that Saddam Hussein was behind 9-11 and that, like, and just the leaps we made, any reasonable person would have to.

=== Northern State Trade Secrets (12:28) ===

[01:42:52]  Hold on, let's ask this guy.
[01:42:53]  I asked him about this.
[01:42:54]  Sir?
[01:42:57]  Sir, hello.
[01:42:58]  What do you want to?
[01:43:00]  Sir, do you know where the northern state is?
[01:43:03]  Oh, it's that way.
[01:43:06]  That way.
[01:43:08]  Thank you.
[01:43:09]  I think he's pointing to the LA.
[01:43:11]  Yeah, it is Northern State.
[01:43:13]  Look at the brick and stuff.
[01:43:14]  Yeah, because I'm trying to get to the cider mill.
[01:43:17]  Why don't you put the cider mill in your phone?
[01:43:19]  I want Ben to see the fall the way we do at Long Island.
[01:43:22]  I've never been to the cider mill.
[01:43:23]  You've never been to the cider mill?
[01:43:24]  I think you brought home some of them.
[01:43:25]  What kind of dumb fuck are you?
[01:43:27]  I went to Yapank Farms.
[01:43:30]  Yeah.
[01:43:32]  Is there a fan we can turn on at least?
[01:43:34]  Ray, it's not everyone's fault you're 900 pounds.
[01:43:36]  I'm not 900 pounds.
[01:43:41]  Jericho Slider Mill?
[01:43:42]  Yes.
[01:43:43]  They're probably closed.
[01:43:44]  No, they're not.
[01:43:46]  Sunday 2?
[01:43:48]  Better not be closed.
[01:43:49]  In Jericho?
[01:43:50]  Correct.
[01:43:52]  What does it say to do?
[01:43:54]  It's 51 by train.
[01:43:56]  It's not 51 miles.
[01:43:58]  I have it by train.
[01:44:00]  Maybe that's the problem before.
[01:44:01]  I was by train.
[01:44:02]  Okay, it's 11 minutes away.
[01:44:09]  No, you fucked up.
[01:44:11]  Oh, there you go.
[01:44:14]  Yeah.
[01:44:14]  Get on the expressway.
[01:44:15]  I know what I'm doing.
[01:44:16]  All right.
[01:44:16]  Well, do it though.
[01:44:18]  I'm that guy.
[01:44:20]  Slide left onto the I-495.
[01:44:23]  Wouldn't it be funny if the GPS was like, there are lanes going east?
[01:44:27]  There are lanes going west.
[01:44:28]  What's going on here?
[01:44:29]  And then there are lanes going straight to hell.
[01:44:30]  Why is it so backed up?
[01:44:32]  Jeez.
[01:44:32]  It's backed up.
[01:44:33]  You know, everybody's going to see their mamas.
[01:44:35]  We stop at the top.
[01:44:36]  I'm going to see my mama.
[01:44:40]  I'm going to see my mama.
[01:44:42]  It's Sunday.
[01:44:43]  Mama making the meatballs.
[01:44:46]  They got to talk about how great Trump is.
[01:44:48]  I love Donald Trump.
[01:44:50]  I used to, I used to, you know, you know, when we would go out to dinner, Doreen would quiet me when I would talk about Mexicans.
[01:44:56]  Now it's all good.
[01:44:57]  She goes, you let it fly.
[01:45:00]  Well, you're getting off?
[01:45:02]  No, I mean.
[01:45:04]  Are you going to be that guy?
[01:45:05]  You're going to be that guy who uses this ramp and then.
[01:45:07]  It's a dick move.
[01:45:08]  It's not a dick move.
[01:45:09]  This is like classic, like, you know, just shitty person thing.
[01:45:13]  I'm sorry that I'm a winner.
[01:45:14]  We have an HOV lane you can use, probably.
[01:45:16]  Sorry that I'm a winner.
[01:45:18]  But how long are we on this?
[01:45:20]  Let's see.
[01:45:21]  For two minutes, right?
[01:45:23]  6.4 miles.
[01:45:24]  Oh, we're getting to the HOV.
[01:45:27]  Is that really?
[01:45:28]  On the weekends, is it even a thing?
[01:45:30]  People seem to avoid it, though.
[01:45:32]  Think about the HOV is that even though it's only active from like, you know, for two hours in the morning and two hours at night during the week, people avoid it at the other time.
[01:45:42]  So you can get in there when you're allowed to use it.
[01:45:44]  That's a Long Island tip from Ray.
[01:45:48]  So if you're drunk.
[01:45:50]  Just hat in the HOV.
[01:45:51]  It's fine.
[01:45:54]  You only have one Deewee.
[01:45:56]  I have a DWAI.
[01:45:58]  What does that mean?
[01:45:59]  Right.
[01:45:59]  I'm on paired, but it'll still keep you out of Canada in many situations.
[01:46:03]  You can take your chances.
[01:46:04]  Right.
[01:46:05]  I'd like to have you come up for the live podcast.
[01:46:08]  I could have risked it.
[01:46:09]  I would have gone back in cuffs.
[01:46:10]  I wouldn't have minded.
[01:46:11]  I didn't want to risk you being out the money or whatever.
[01:46:14]  I appreciate it.
[01:46:15]  Yeah.
[01:46:18]  Yeah, it takes a while.
[01:46:19]  I think it's a retaliatory thing because we put some restrictions on Canada or maybe because of what we do with Mexico.
[01:46:25]  Canada's like, no, we're going to fuck you guys now.
[01:46:28]  Right.
[01:46:28]  And so we do that.
[01:46:30]  Right.
[01:46:31]  Yeah.
[01:46:36]  I get it.
[01:46:37]  Yes.
[01:46:38]  I even go.
[01:46:39]  Where's my...
[01:46:40]  Can you get my nasal spray out of my bag, Ben?
[01:46:44]  It should be towards the top.
[01:46:45]  Ben puts his hand in your bag.
[01:46:47]  There's just a spider.
[01:46:48]  There's roast beef and cheese in there.
[01:46:50]  That's my spider.
[01:46:52]  Here's my pack.
[01:46:56]  Also, a bottle of water.
[01:46:58]  I'm excited with my whistle.
[01:46:59]  I'm excited for you to go to the cider mill for the first time, Raymond.
[01:47:02]  I mean, I can't eat enjoy any, but.
[01:47:04]  You can enjoy it all, Raymond.
[01:47:06]  Will they have any thick-cut bacon?
[01:47:08]  They have candied bacon dipped in apple glaze.
[01:47:11]  That's so good.
[01:47:12]  They don't have that even.
[01:47:13]  I mean, look, there's an Applewood Farm, so maybe they have that stuff there.
[01:47:16]  How about they have Swiss roll ice cream?
[01:47:19]  What, like a Swiss roll, but with ice cream?
[01:47:21]  It's yum yum.
[01:47:23]  There's a lot of good food there for all the fatsicles.
[01:47:26]  All the fatties.
[01:47:29]  Is it a NASA whole thing or the Southern people come, the Fat Suffolk people come out for?
[01:47:32]  No, Fat Suffolk people stay in there.
[01:47:34]  Suffolk really is until you get to the Hampton.
[01:47:36]  It's a real dump.
[01:47:39]  Your program's quite nice.
[01:47:40]  Yeah, NASA is the whole.
[01:47:43]  Like, NASA is the character in the culture.
[01:47:45]  I mean, I grew up in Suffolk, so I disagree.
[01:47:48]  Well, dude, Nassau County Anthem was much better at Nassau County State of Mind than Suffolk tried to do it.
[01:47:53]  What did Suffolk do?
[01:47:54]  They were like, oh, we're in that potential.
[01:47:57]  Remember that?
[01:47:57]  We're about to flam this duck.
[01:47:59]  It was like horrific.
[01:48:01]  Now, what is this nasal spray for?
[01:48:03]  It's just, I'd be getting over a cold slash slash make-me-up.
[01:48:08]  What is it?
[01:48:10]  Allergy thing.
[01:48:11]  Okay, are you addicted to the spray?
[01:48:12]  No, it's saline.
[01:48:14]  People can't.
[01:48:14]  Can you get on your phone and tell me where to go to get to the.
[01:48:19]  I mean, this is how much fucking.
[01:48:23]  I want to get all the way back there.
[01:48:24]  It's crazy.
[01:48:26]  It's not good for you, these things.
[01:48:28]  It's saline.
[01:48:29]  All right.
[01:48:29]  That's it.
[01:48:30]  It's just salt water.
[01:48:31]  There's nothing else in there?
[01:48:32]  Nothing.
[01:48:32]  3.8 miles.
[01:48:34]  All right.
[01:48:37]  You know, I mean, I'm trying to take care of my.
[01:48:40]  It makes me money, this voice.
[01:48:42]  I know.
[01:48:46]  So this is.
[01:48:47]  The Expressway really doesn't have a lot of charm.
[01:48:50]  No, it's kind of a dull road to drive down.
[01:48:53]  The northern or southern state definitely has a little more of a scenic aspect to it, but it was built in racism.
[01:48:58]  And so, I don't know.
[01:48:59]  It's a trade-off.
[01:49:02]  Right, it's a trade-off because, on one hand, it's racist, but on the other hand, it's charmless.
[01:49:07]  That's not really what a trade-off is.
[01:49:08]  No, the northern state, the southern and northern state are more charming.
[01:49:14]  Right.
[01:49:15]  It's understandable.
[01:49:16]  That's what I'm saying.
[01:49:17]  That's a trade-off.
[01:49:20]  I mean, you drive through certain parts of the northern state.
[01:49:22]  It's quite nice.
[01:49:22]  By Hopstra, I drive there every day.
[01:49:25]  But I went to Hopstra for a year and I failed Japanese.
[01:49:29]  Why did you take Japanese again?
[01:49:31]  I liked Japanese cinema.
[01:49:32]  I liked anime at the time.
[01:49:34]  I thought it'd be kind of cool.
[01:49:35]  I mean, who doesn't want to go to Japan?
[01:49:37]  Japan seems like a fine-tune-like.
[01:49:38]  I would love to go to Japan.
[01:49:39]  It's too pricey.
[01:49:42]  It's not, you know, it's not feasible.
[01:49:45]  Right.
[01:49:46]  So, yeah, but it's a hard language to learn.
[01:49:50]  Watashi no tengo afilum desu.
[01:49:52]  What does that mean?
[01:49:53]  My major is film.
[01:49:54]  Watashi.
[01:49:56]  Love that you're walking around Japan like Watashi and Sabinsen.
[01:50:03]  Lots of listen to me.
[01:50:06]  All right, so we 2.3 miles.
[01:50:09]  We're five minutes away, apparently.
[01:50:10]  Yeah, this is a great.
[01:50:12]  This is dude.
[01:50:13]  When I was a child, I would go because my grandfather lived in Mutton Town, had a pool and a tennis court, two and a half acres.
[01:50:18]  Not a big deal.
[01:50:20]  Eight bathrooms in the home.
[01:50:21]  And the point is that we would then go to get cider and maybe, and then every now and then I'll bring an apple crumb pie to an event and I'll get it from here.
[01:50:32]  Are you going to eat at the cider mill?
[01:50:34]  What do you mean?
[01:50:35]  You're going to eat these treats there.
[01:50:37]  I'm going to see what treats they have.
[01:50:38]  So if you're going to eat, I'll just bring my roast beef with me.
[01:50:40]  I'm saying.
[01:50:41]  No, no, idiot.
[01:50:42]  We're going to eat Jeremy's later.
[01:50:43]  We can eat Jeremy's.
[01:50:44]  What's Jeremy's?
[01:50:45]  Jeremy's alehouse in Freeport.
[01:50:46]  Okay.
[01:50:47]  Me and Ben are getting Buffalo shrimp and all this good stuff.
[01:50:50]  Do you get a steak?
[01:50:52]  No.
[01:50:52]  Dude, it's all keto.
[01:50:54]  Okay.
[01:50:54]  Dude, keto is a state of mind.
[01:50:56]  Oh.
[01:50:57]  Do you know what I mean?
[01:50:58]  Like, it's not a specific set of nutritional guidelines.
[01:51:01]  Okay.
[01:51:02]  It's a state of mind.
[01:51:02]  Like, you can be keto and eat bread.
[01:51:05]  You can be keto and have ice cream.
[01:51:07]  I mean, it's just got to believe in you.
[01:51:08]  You can be keto and have sugar.
[01:51:10]  You're keto.
[01:51:11]  Like Paul Wolfworth, believe in yourself.
[01:51:13]  Yes.
[01:51:14]  Dude, you could be 600 pounds and you could just go, I'm keto suck.
[01:51:19]  I should be a rapper called Keto Keto Cump.
[01:51:22]  I'm just a really fat rapper.
[01:51:24]  I'm just talking about like, I eat bacon.
[01:51:27]  I eat cheese.
[01:51:29]  Please.
[01:51:32]  Keto cum.
[01:51:33]  I don't eat carbs.
[01:51:37]  I smoke mobs.
[01:51:38]  I don't eat carbs.
[01:51:39]  I'm keto cum.
[01:51:40]  People like, this is horrific.
[01:51:42]  I ain't cum, not carbs.
[01:51:44]  Are you still making EDM music and are you still pursuing your career as an EDM DJ?
[01:51:48]  I don't know if I was ever actively pursuing a career, but yes, I'm still.
[01:51:53]  We went through a little bit of a transition moving, but I'm getting my stuff set back up.
[01:51:56]  But yeah, I have a new off here.
[01:51:58]  Do you want to?
[01:51:58]  Oh, yeah, 41?
[01:52:00]  Yeah.
[01:52:00]  All right, thank you.
[01:52:03]  You started asking me about my new passion, and you're going to go.
[01:52:05]  And like, I'm sorry, I missed the exit.
[01:52:07]  I was the wrong exit.
[01:52:08]  I know.
[01:52:09]  Yeah, north.
[01:52:10]  Yeah, but we can get there, right?
[01:52:11]  From here?
[01:52:11]  We should be able to, I guess.
[01:52:13]  I mean, this is 40.
[01:52:14]  Oh, yes.
[01:52:14]  Let's go.
[01:52:15]  Let's go north.
[01:52:16]  North, yeah.
[01:52:18]  Keto comedy.
[01:52:19]  Yeah, I mean, I program beats.
[01:52:21]  I mean, I have a new.
[01:52:22]  I'll put a link on my Twitter soon, maybe today.
[01:52:26]  So people can check out my beats on SoundCloud.
[01:52:30]  You know, I'm just doing my thing.
[01:52:32]  I ain't trying to, you know, run the world here.
[01:52:33]  I'm just making some beats.
[01:52:35]  Word up, bro.
[01:52:37]  I'll get a show.
[01:52:38]  After we get some cider, we'll see where my grandfather lived.
[01:52:40]  And then we'll head down South Shore and we will have lunch or a late lunch at my window.
[01:52:46]  Jordan's.
[01:52:47]  Oh, we went to Jordan's Lobster?
[01:52:49]  No, at we could go there too, actually.
[01:52:52]  Let's get some lobster.
[01:52:54]  Let's get fucking full.
[01:52:55]  Dude, you can go to the field.
[01:52:56]  You can go to Jeremy's and get any fish you want.
[01:52:58]  Oh, really?
[01:52:58]  I mean, yes, but I mean, you know, Jeremy's also has like mozzarella steaks and chili cheese.
[01:53:03]  You can say mozzarella sticks on keto.
[01:53:04]  Yes, you can.
[01:53:05]  They're breaded.
[01:53:06]  Bread is okay on keto.
[01:53:08]  Oh, God.
[01:53:09]  Dude, bread is.
[01:53:10]  What keto are you doing?
[01:53:12]  The keto where you actually lose weight.
[01:53:13]  I'm sorry.
[01:53:14]  The keto where you lose.
[01:53:15]  Okay, can I tell you the rules of keto?
[01:53:17]  Yeah.
[01:53:19]  Say, repeat after me, ready?
[01:53:21]  Yes.
[01:53:22]  I'm keto.
[01:53:23]  I'm keto.
[01:53:24]  That's it.
[01:53:26]  It's like a prayer.
[01:53:27]  If you say I'm keto before what you eat, it's okay.
[01:53:31]  Okay.
[01:53:32]  If you look at a loaf of bread, you go, I'm keto.
[01:53:34]  Are they going to like these friends you have out in California?
[01:53:37]  The ones that you're better.
[01:53:38]  These guys who are like, you know, your betters.
[01:53:41]  But the guys you're trying to impress.
[01:53:42]  Yeah.
[01:53:42]  Are they going to like, you know, if you, if you stay fat, you're talking shit about keto.
[01:53:47]  I'm on staying fat.
[01:53:48]  I've lost a lot of weight.
[01:53:49]  I'm continuing to lose weight.
[01:53:50]  Well, you know, at the moment.
[01:53:54]  This is where Otto the Ghost was here to the right.
[01:53:56]  It's an entertainment program.
[01:53:58]  I worked here.
[01:53:59]  That was Otto the Ghost.
[01:54:00]  Oh, the Mill Ridge.
[01:54:01]  I used to do weddings there.
[01:54:03]  What is that?
[01:54:03]  One time a Russian mother of the groom, I think she wanted to fuck me.
[01:54:09]  She was dancing with me.
[01:54:11]  So you're saying if I stay fat, are my friends going to be my friends?
[01:54:14]  I don't know.
[01:54:14]  Maybe.
[01:54:14]  I'm just saying you're talking a lot of shit and they seem to care about keto a lot.
[01:54:18]  And you're saying I'm on keto and you're hurting the image.
[01:54:20]  So you're saying Rogan.
[01:54:21]  Will Rogan like that?
[01:54:22]  Yeah, I don't want to bring up the one person.
[01:54:25]  I could care about it.
[01:54:26]  You're running your mouth and Rogan's going to be like, look, you're making my keto thing look bad.
[01:54:30]  He doesn't do keto.
[01:54:31]  Yeah, I think he does the primate diet, right?
[01:54:33]  He does something, but he has carbs, but he just works out a lot.
[01:54:36]  No, I'm losing.
[01:54:37]  I have an overall commitment to losing weight.
[01:54:38]  Everyone knows that.
[01:54:39]  All right.
[01:54:40]  Everyone knows that, but I'm also a comedian.
[01:54:41]  I'm also here to entertain people.
[01:54:43]  Right, but we're going to be off mic, and you're going to be eating a donut in the middle.
[01:54:46]  It's not true, Ray!
[01:54:49]  It's keto, bitch!
[01:54:51]  You dumb fuck!
[01:54:53]  This is smaller than I thought it would be.
[01:54:54]  Oh.
[01:54:56]  We're going to get rear-ended.
[01:54:57]  This guy is down.
[01:55:00]  All right, relax.
[01:55:04]  How animalistic is Long Islander?
[01:55:06]  Well, you're being a maniac right now.
[01:55:09]  You can block in the driveway here.
[01:55:15]  This was...
[01:55:17]  All right, hold on.
[01:55:18]  We got to go get some keto snacks.
[01:55:19]  We're stopping.