Strap in for a blast from the past! Tim is joined by past co-host Ray Kump (Kump, Our Love is Disgusting) for a classic Dillon & Kump discussion. They talk about the state of the nation, the current administration, the industry, and of course, the Kardashians. You asked for it, you got it! ONLY on this week's episode of Tim Dillon is Going to Hell!
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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Welcome to Tim Dylan Going to Hell00:07:52
And now, Tim Dylan is going to hell.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to Tim Dylan who's going to hell.
If you do not have tickets for the podcast in Austin, Texas with Ron Bennington, get them.
The link is in my Instagram profile.
If you have a festival badge, you can get in.
If not, grab tickets.
Link is in the profile of my Instagram.
I tweeted out a bunch.
Right now, we have a special guest.
I don't know how we got this person.
I'm very excited.
Returning from Coachella.
Let me make sure I pronounce his name right.
Ray Cump.
I'm back, baby.
There he is.
Hello.
Look at this.
How did we manage it?
How did we try for months?
More people.
Look, I've been getting a lot of calls.
I've been ignoring them.
Frankly, I feel like you're spatching my career.
Well, you lost your phone.
I lost my identity.
What happened?
I was in an Uber pool yesterday.
Uber pool.
With a lovely gentleman who I believe ended up taking my phone.
I was busy playing a cuphead on my Nintendo Switch.
What is that?
It's just some game where you play a cup.
And I was playing the...
So you're playing a game where you're a cup.
And you're shooting people.
You're shooting people.
You're a cup.
Yeah.
Like a mug?
Well, no, the mug is your brother in the game.
And you're a what?
A cup.
Oh, okay.
Like a coffee cup.
And why are you shooting people?
It's like an old school game, like an old school, like old timey cartoon.
That's not the important detail.
Okay.
The important detail is I was immersed and I didn't know where my phone was.
So I get out of the car.
But aren't you playing the game on your phone?
No.
No, I have a Switch.
Oh, okay.
I've upgraded my apologies.
Things are going pretty well.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I mean, I basically got on the phone, you try to log into Uber on the computer to say, hey, like, give me my phone back, driver.
And they start going, all right, we'll text you a code to your phone.
And it's like, I don't have my phone.
It's a whole jerk around.
They jerk him off my dick.
And basically, eventually the next day, the next morning, I had him shipped me a new phone.
I have insurance.
And this guy starts making fraudulent PayPal charges on my card.
Basically buying gift cards.
He's buying gift cards from your PayPal.
Now, I had gone to, because it's hard to log into your shit.
Everything you try to log into nowadays.
It's very tough.
We're going to text you a code.
I have my phone.
Yeah.
So, and like, I have an old iPhone, but I was waiting for it to charge.
Because literally, you fucking have an iPhone 5.
You have to plug in for six hours before it charges up.
You have an iPhone 5.
Well, that's an old phone like you have.
Oh, okay.
That's not my standard fucking phone as well.
You just keep an iPhone 5 around.
For situations like this.
It's a good, it's a good call.
I don't just throw out garbage.
No.
I don't just throw out garbage.
Yeah.
A great Ray Cump quote.
I don't just throw out garbage.
You might need it one of the days.
I like that.
Yeah.
So I went to the bank to close the account or close the debit card.
And then I got some fucking alert like, hey, Samsung pays an activated on your phone.
Like, oh, shit.
He's like, he's using it to like, you know, I thought maybe it's just someone fucking.
Because the Uber driver didn't have it.
I'd lost my phone before.
Uber driver brings it back.
They're good people.
Yeah, but this guy, it got swiped.
The guy was like, you know, some kind of drug dealer.
He was a white kid.
He's in an Uber pool.
Yeah.
He was like a white kid with a box of sneakers.
Are you making them white for the show?
No, he was like when he was only used like sneaker sneakers.
Or one of the sneaker kits.
Like a hype beast.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, that's what they call them.
It wears a lot of Supreme.
Yeah, I think it was one of those guys.
In the sneakers.
They love the new sneaker.
Yeah, yeah.
Hype Beast.
I'm not sure.
You got your cell phone lifted by a hype beast in an Uber pool.
Classic smash and grab.
Classic smash and grab.
So, uh, yeah, so I went over to the bank.
I closed the card and they were like, you know, don't have to bother closing a checking account.
And then I'm fucking go back, go back to work, and I'm fucking, you know, waiting for my phone so I can get like, you know, to charge up.
So they're going to put a new SIM card in it.
And I get this other thing, PayPal's been reactivated.
I'm like, what the fuck?
So I'm going there.
I had all these goddamn transactions about gift cards.
I can just imagine you sweating, angry, screaming, flailing your arm.
What the fuck?
I was fucking stress-eating hot dogs.
I did not order this gift card.
I was so upset that I was like, I bought hot dogs on the street.
I was just eating them.
I was just fucking screaming into the computer.
Yeah.
And like, and so I, like that that's how you combat stress.
Yeah.
Is to eat hot dogs on the street.
Well, look, I mean, yeah.
What am I going to do?
Go have a souffle?
No.
That's a great point.
Yeah.
I'm going to.
That's a great point.
Just eat hot dogs on the street.
It's always worked for me.
And scream.
It's always worked for me before.
I bet there was like a family visiting New York City who just looked at you and started praying.
They all just clasped their hands and just started praying.
Well, this is what they want.
See, like Bloomberg ruined tourism.
Absolutely.
I agree.
They wanted to be safe, but they want a little taste.
They want a little taste of it.
They want to see somebody going off.
I used to flip out all the time.
You were with me enough to know that.
No, it was uncomfortable.
Yeah.
And but that's what tourists want.
And I've said this before.
Tourists want to see me or someone like me or you flip out and scream and yell and have a breakdown.
We are in a weird way kind of like going to a prostitute.
Like you want a little bit of danger.
You want to see someone on the brink.
Yeah.
If you come to New York, you want to see somebody on the brink.
Right.
A guy like you, a guy like me, a guy whose skin flashes red.
Right.
You don't see that on TV.
You don't get it on TV.
Nor do you get it in the Nordic countries, I believe.
No.
Just deep red in the veins.
Red, a larger man smoking or eating a street meat and losing his mind because his phone was stolen from him in an Uber pool by a hype beast.
Right.
A hype beast.
And the worst thing.
The goddamn hype beast stole my phone.
Jesus.
The worst thing is I go on to PayPal and say, hey, I click.
Because these are, look, they're gift cards.
Sure.
It's a trope at this point.
Do you think he's buying them for people like he's doing Mother's Day?
Your mom.
What if he started donating to Elizabeth Warren with your like you just start getting emails?
Thank you for your donation to beto.
Like he's donating to all the Democrat candidates with your phone.
I mean, give me some points at least.
But the thing is, I go dispute them.
And they're obviously like gift cards are an obvious trope for scammers.
So I think it's a no-brainer.
So I click like these three, it's like one for $475, one's like $400.
Like, you know, they're like $1,200 altogether.
Yeah.
And I click them and a half hour later, I get a response.
Yeah, we looked into it.
They're not unauthorized charges.
Like, fuck off.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
How do you think they looked into it?
I don't, I, I, I, I, maybe it's an algorithm, or maybe they just, like, maybe they activated like the, the webcam on my computer.
Like, look at this slob.
And they fucking just said, fuck, let's burn them.
They just said you were a legitimate mark.
Like, whoever took your phone was right to do it.
Right.
These are not illegitimate charges.
You're getting fucked, sir.
Well, you were, you were with me the other night.
I almost had something weird happening.
Oh, yeah.
We were juniors in Brooklyn.
Right.
We had a hot dog.
They brought the hot dog over.
It was the size of the table.
Yeah, it was a massive fucking hot dog.
A massive hot dog.
I mean, this thing was coming out of the bun, out of the, off the plate.
It was double the size of the bun.
Crazy.
Yeah.
We go to juniors.
I say to one of the you bus boys.
Hey, can you charge my phone?
Stealing Phones in the Restaurant00:07:45
Right.
I give my phone to the guy.
The guy takes it, disappears for about a half hour.
Yeah, we go to leave.
We go, hey, can we get the phone back?
Everybody in the place doesn't seem to know where the phone is, nor who the guy is.
Sure, they're all aloof.
They're all like, yeah.
Sorry, to be fair, to set the stage properly.
When you're at a restaurant, I don't think you'll shy away from this.
You tend to act like you're the king of the restaurant.
I am.
And yeah, because I am.
You've earned that role.
I've earned the role to be the king of the restaurant.
But you're grabbing people as they're walking by going, sir, is this gingerbread?
What is this?
And you're pointing at that.
I wanted to know it was a house.
We were seated next to a house made of cheesecake.
Right.
I wanted to know about it.
You're grabbing other people's waitresses and asking for mayonnaise.
I get a condiment from everyone on the floor.
Sure.
I keep people going.
Keep them up.
Keep them going.
Hey, you got gravy?
Wake up.
Boom.
Answer the confusion, is my point.
I do bring in a lot of chaos.
Yeah.
So, but yeah.
But in that chaos, we find our true meaning.
Sure.
Yeah.
You know, and Peterson.
Jordan Peterson, not me, folks.
He's a good man.
He's fine.
No, he's a good man.
Yeah.
He's a bad dude.
I don't think he's a bad dude at all.
A little trite sometimes.
I just, I am, and I did this.
We're not going to go into this because I did it on the other thing.
I'm just, I am sick of people who need these people.
No.
We've talked about this.
100%.
These people that can't wipe their own ass without a book, without a chapter book.
They're like, I had no idea I had to pick up the sock on my floor.
Thank God that these guys are around to write books telling me to be a person.
The weird thing is.
And a lot of these people are from like kind of cushy suburban existences.
The weird thing with this guy is he seems to be about hierarchies and people falling to the wayside because they couldn't cut it.
Right.
And like, you know, this legitimate man.
Like, all right.
But then he's trying to like coddle these like children, like these fucking 24-year-old men into like, yeah, like brush your teeth and like, you know, don't go to the bottom of the city.
I think it's what he's trying to do is laudable.
But the people, I just get, I know that people need shit every now and then to get, you know, but the Gary Vee, the Peterson, the Van Yorch, like all of that stuff to me is becomes like when you read it on the page, you go, a lot of this is nonsense.
People used to be inspired.
Hey, look, you can say Lawrence or Arabia, you know, T.E. Lawrence was like, he raped a civilization, whatever.
Maybe he didn't, maybe he didn't.
We don't have time for that.
He used to be inspired by people who took risks and went out there and like, right.
Oh, this guy had a crazy life.
I want to live like that.
And now it's like some guy who's telling you, you know, maybe you should try eating some steak.
And it's like, yeah, well, the other thing is, like, there's no honesty.
The problem is the lack of honesty in society.
Right.
Right.
Here's like people that take the route that I've taken.
Someone has to tell them early on, you're not going to have a good life.
It's not, it's not going to happen.
Like, the chances that you are going to have a fulfillment, like, you're going to do the thing you want, which is great, but you're not going to have this Disney experience that you think you're going to have, or that you see other people having.
And the weird thing is, these people were happy at one point to be bent over in a coal mine.
Right.
Like, that was a good life to them.
Just dying of soot.
Well, part of my problem with this new ethos of finding meaning, people don't need meaning.
Right.
People need fucking things to do.
Yeah.
I'm telling you right now: the idea that everybody's going to be a fully actualized human being is insane.
They don't need meaning.
In fact, most people I think are better off kind of staying at surface level.
Right.
Staying, I like potato salad.
I like pussy.
I should work so that I could have a supply of those things.
Sure.
You know, but we're in the restaurant.
I'm being me.
Yeah.
And this is, you're not justifying him stealing my phone.
Yes, no.
I'm just, it adds to the firing squad kind of element where you don't know who shot.
But my point is, okay.
Yes.
But you give the guy the phone, and he eagerly accepts.
This is something we do.
We'll charge it.
I'll get it done.
And then we finish the meal.
Yeah.
And then, you know, and then you asked the security guy who turns out he's a guy in the suit.
Yeah.
Like, where's the phone?
Where's the phone?
And everyone gets dumb.
Everybody gets dumb and starts walking around looking at the floor.
Yeah.
They call over two managers.
They don't know what's going on.
I thought you were overreacting at first a little bit.
Yeah.
But then as it went on, it went on for like 20 minutes.
I go zero to 60 and I told you, I said, I guarantee, at the very least, this has happened before.
Right.
Because the managers had those faces on like, fuck.
I hope we don't have to do this.
I'll go through this again.
Is this another problem we're having?
It's got to be, look, you're not getting people with like, you know, 10-page resumes to work, you know, as a guy cleaning plates off the fucking table.
Right.
It's a noble job.
Right.
But like, this is not like, you know, so you take, you can only take, you can only filter so many people out.
Yeah.
And you're taking that.
Probably, you're taking the jack because you can get a good hustle going.
Right.
You can get, you know, some, you put it perfectly.
Some European tourist.
Yeah.
And they ain't going to push back.
Yeah.
Listen, if you leave that place without your phone and you're visiting from Sweden.
Oh, Jesus.
You're not going back.
You're going to go back on the next day and you're like, hey, so I gave some guy my phone.
Yeah, they're not going back.
They just buy another fucking phone.
And I bet it's not a bad side hustle.
Right.
But as you said, you ain't doing that to the king of the restaurant.
I fucking walk in here.
I order Buffalo shrimp, regular shrimp for the fucking table.
I'm sitting.
I'm doing the right thing.
We ordered three entrees.
We ordered cheesecake.
Like, we're doing the right thing.
We were legit.
Yeah.
No, no, I don't need to be stolen from in my own goddamn city.
It's the level of like the people.
They wouldn't even look in the eye.
Yeah.
Well, they know.
They're walking in and out.
They're like looking at their fucking shoes.
I've been around enough scams to know when I'm going to be the victim of a scam.
Yeah.
And I've gladly been the victim of a scam.
I've scammed myself enough to know when something's at the very fucking least weird.
Right.
And I'm like, there's a weird vibe or there's a vibe of like, oh, fuck.
Yeah.
What's going on?
We have no phone.
And then nobody knows who the dude is.
That guy.
Nobody knows who's the guy.
Who was on the floor the whole night?
He was on the floor whole night, whole night.
He was gone.
I didn't see him anywhere.
No.
I didn't saw him anywhere.
Right.
A half hour, 20 minutes, a half hour later, he finally comes out of the kitchen.
Yeah.
I don't know what he's doing back there.
And by the way, it seemed almost like happenstance.
Right.
And I'm like, hey, the phone?
He's like, oh.
And he laughed.
And the phone.
Yeah.
He fucking laughed.
And the phone, I think, was plugged in right next to the booth that we were sitting in.
Oh, no, he was right across.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was not far away.
Right.
And they were looking around the whole thing.
The guy fucking brings the security guy comes over.
Remember this?
The security guy's accusing me of stealing a phone.
What's your phone look like?
You know, it's an iPhone.
Yeah, I'm like, what's the color?
And he's got a picture he's looking at, and he's testing you.
Yeah.
And he was like, you know, what's the color of the face?
Yeah, it's a black face.
And he turns around and then it's a white iPhone.
He's like, well, it's not this one.
I'm like, are you now accusing me of stealing a phone?
This is a great strategy.
Yeah.
He's basically coming over like, hey, are you trying to get the better of us?
Are you trying to steal the phone?
This is what Ocasio-Cortez doesn't realize.
Taxing Your Way Out of Capitalism00:09:22
Right.
You know what I mean?
People are going to.
This is what she doesn't realize about human beings.
At least American human beings.
It happens across the racial spectrum, across the economic spectrum.
We are a country of scammers.
Slimeball thieves.
Yeah.
And the further you go up, the more scammers there are.
Stop, you know, Ubers now in this fucking city are a trillion dollars to get anywhere because there's a congestion tax, there's a carbon tax.
So, by doing all these things that are supposedly long-term good for the environment, you're impoverishing people in the short term.
Right.
You're fucking people that need to get places.
We have a horrible fucking horrible subway system.
So, Uber pool and they're raising the rates and they're raising the thing.
They're raising the fucking cost of this failing legacy subway system that's crippled every fucking day.
And now you can't get in an Uber pool because that's $28.
Yeah.
You know, they don't understand.
And look, the jobs, people have people have jobs, right?
The unemployment is the largest can be, but everyone's working these fucking service jobs.
Yeah.
No one's making GM money anymore.
So what is the fucking point?
We're going to save the environment by impoverishing everybody.
Is that what we're trying to do?
They really think they can tax their way.
And there's not enough people to tax their way.
And it's amazing.
I work in a place that's pretty liberal.
And like people talk about billionaires and then talking about how they need to be taxed, they need to be taxed.
And regardless of how they understand it at all, the machinations of it, but just the ethics of it.
When it comes up for their taxes, they're gloating about the expenses they take.
And they're like, I got my LLC and this and that.
And you say, well, I'm like, oh, it's kind of the same deal.
No, but I need it more.
Yeah.
That's all it is.
I need it more.
There's got to be a limit where you don't want it.
The problem is, and Bill Burr talked about this.
Fucking individuals at 70% who've made 10 million is crazy when you have corporations that pay no taxes.
Yeah.
And they are offshore and they route all their profits offshore.
And there's this whole system of structured finance, which allows, and the New York Times, to their credit, did a great piece about it.
How you have this entire system that has been erected to route profits off through these offshore companies.
These fucking shell companies.
Shell corpse and these people that pay no taxes, or they go to cities like New York and London and buy up real estate with these shell companies to shield their tax burden and their ownership interest and all that stuff.
And listen, man, I get it.
I get the whole soak the rich concept.
I'm not against it.
I understand that rich people have gotten away with, especially the ones that are savvy, have gotten away with a lot.
Okay.
But a lot of that tax money goes to a defense department that plunders resources from around the world and pillages.
It does not go to the people that it should go to.
That is a fact.
Remarkable thing, they're going to redistribute wealth.
They're going to shoot more six-year-old Yemeni girls in the head.
Yeah, it doesn't seem to be effective.
And I'm not saying that you shouldn't tax people, but it's like, you know, we seem to forget that this is an economy entirely based on war for the most part.
No, for a long time, it's been a long time.
And this is when you get into the, well, you're being cynical and you're being this, you're being that.
No, I'm stating a fact.
I'm not putting any emotion behind it.
It's a fact.
We're a war economy.
Oh, no.
There is no, if you break down what makes America this exceptional country, you know, at this stage.
Yeah.
Because for a while, we had resources and we had industry.
We're growing and all that shit.
And circumstances are history and economic history.
But at this point, all we're doing, there is no, even though, even our financial industry is not the, like, it's the biggest capital market, but that's shifting over time.
It's just the fact that we have the, like, by far, even, you know, accounting for history proportionally, the most insanely huge military that the world's ever seen, and we're still growing it.
Right.
And it's just like, and we don't, and like, it's like it dwarfs the number two is China prop, I guess, but they're like, you know, a fraction of it.
Yeah, I mean, we make nothing here.
Yeah.
Except drones and drones that blow up Pakistani weddings.
You know, the machinery of death.
Right.
And so that's my thing when I talk to people.
I'm like, I have no problem with rich people paying more taxes.
I have no problem with corporations paying their fair share.
But I am realistic enough to know that a lot of that money is going to go into the coffers of defense industry people that are constantly creating the new threats of tomorrow.
They are creating the new threats.
Well, the other problem with AOC.
It's like, you know, she cut when I first saw her, people used to shit on me because they were like, I would be, I wasn't even supporting her, but like, they would knee-jerk about her.
And maybe they were right because when I saw her, she was kind of coming on, like, was interviews with the guy in the CNN, whatever his name is.
Jake Tapper.
Yeah.
And it's just like, she's coming off like, yeah, I'm just, we're just trying to make it more reasonable for people.
People should have healthcare.
Everyone else has healthcare.
Why don't we?
And it was just like this very neutral, like, and she's young, she's attractive.
And like, yeah, we're not crazy socialists.
This is normal.
You're crazy for attacking it.
Yeah.
This might work.
This might sell.
And immediately, like, not even over time, immediately, once she gets in there, this Green New Deal, it's just like this quasi, Marxist quasi-like, like people talk, like the whole thing with the, what was it, the people who shouldn't want to don't have to work or don't want to work, shouldn't have to kind of thing.
Yeah, the people that choose not to work.
And I get that with an early draft or whatever, but like, why are there people in your office even like sketching this out?
Like, why is it?
Well, she is surrounded by hardcore Marxists.
100%.
By hardcore people that think the profit motive is completely evil, that markets have no place in the world, that it's never worked.
These are people who, I guess, would rather live in the Soviet Union than America.
Well, they keep it.
I mean, let's be honest.
Would you rather?
I mean, it seems insane.
And then they keep bringing up these Nordic countries that are not Marxist, that are at all a mix of.
If you look at the metrics of this, there's organizations that study the metrics of economic freedom and different factors.
And they're always kind of like, Sweden is basically a free market country that has a social safety net.
Like they take the priority to go, hey, we're going to take care of people, but the economy is fucking a free market economy, basically.
I think part of this is a response to a right wing that really is a pro-olig plutocracy.
Sure.
Like a right wing that doesn't give a flying fuck, that really has become kind of this Koch brothers radical libertarian.
You know, let's just have private fire departments and private enclaves.
And when you go to LA, you see it, man.
Everybody's behind fucking gates with security guards.
And then you drive five minutes away and there's tents.
Look, if your wife and kids get stabbed, we're going to have a company that deals with that.
You give them some, you give them your money.
We just texted you a code.
Did your wife get stabbed in the throat?
We texted you a code.
Insert the code and you will get the email to sign you up for our services.
Send us a picture of your dead wife.
Yeah.
She comes back.
Like, we're not covering this.
This is bullshit.
So that's where we are.
We're at this fucking place where you have somebody that's like, how about we all take $80 Ubers until we have no money?
Well, this is the best.
Or we just, you know, we, and people are like, oh, public transit is really bad.
I'm like, you know how bad it's going to be if you completely eliminate the rideshare option?
Sure.
And just people are just now packed into this fucking thing.
Well, it's terrible.
The L, the whole, this, this whole house of cards with the L-train.
Yeah.
There's like they come in the last minute and they're like, we actually found a way that Europe does that we're going to fucking down.
And then people are coming out like two days later going like, no, no, we always had this option.
It's not going to work.
And maybe, well, maybe it won't.
But the point is, the closures they're going to have on the L is still like all weekend and nights and shit.
And it's like, yeah.
And yeah, you're not going to, and you're also going to cripple the thing that could offset that a little bit.
Yeah.
The fucking right?
It's.
Well, they don't care.
They really, in this city specifically, hate the poor.
They want them to leave.
They don't want them here.
Well, yeah.
Like, I don't even mean poor.
I mean, like, the working lower class.
No, because, and this is the problem when you have this hyper capitalist attitude where it's literally just about money.
Right.
The money does not have to come from people here that work here anymore.
And that's what people have kind of realized.
If you just have this be a vertical money laundering scheme and capital pours in from all over the world, from Kazakhstan, from some guy that poisoned a river in Zambia, a mining magnate in India, you really don't need, you need worker bees, you need drones, you need people to keep doing that, but you don't really need to support a quality of life for human beings that aren't what you consider a net plus.
Yeah, and for a while, you needed people to work at the diners.
Ah, Starbucks.
Hypercapitalism and the Working Class00:06:54
That's all over.
Yeah, because now it's like these people are so rich.
They're just getting private chefs and private phones.
And the reality is, how many of those places in five years are going to be fully automated?
Yeah.
Fully fucking automated.
And that's what's terrifying.
Sex robots.
That's why sex robots, you go into a diner, you get your dick sucked while you wait for mozzarella.
Shitty mozzarella sticks.
They still suck.
They're still terrible.
They're still horrible.
They're still burned.
Even close job's not bad.
That's why you have Andrew Yang out there talking about the guaranteed income, the thousand bucks a month.
Yang gang.
Hey, can you please, can we just give these methad truckers like a thousand bucks, please?
Let's give them a grand a g a month.
I mean, listen, yang is a dude who, you know, it's so funny.
It's like you look at all the issues we talk about campaigns.
No one really talks about automation.
Right.
Nobody talks about AI.
Nobody really talks about militarism in an intelligent way.
They all ignore all of that.
And climate change is kind of ignored, too.
Yeah.
All of these things are ignored.
And instead, what did we even talk about the last election?
Like, I'm trying to remember, like, what were the hot button issues?
Well, to be fair, I mean, look, it was pretty garish.
We're talking about pussy grabs.
Right.
And, like, I mean, Trump was sending out the money.
And emails.
There was no thought to anything that's going to completely.
Right.
The fact that like Hillary Clinton had to defend herself that, like, I mean, look, I'm not saying she wasn't shady, but it's just like, it's almost like you do some dirt so you don't have to talk about the real shit.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall at that dinner up in Chappaquan, New York.
Like, what, now, what do you put yourself?
Because we hosted this show for a long time.
We read a lot and interviewed a lot of people about these powerful dynastic or people with at least the aspirations to be dynastic.
You know, upstarts.
Right.
And what do you think is going through there?
Do you think that she has fucking fully admitted it's over now?
Because I would love, and I've said this, I would love all these Democratic candidates to destroy each other in the primaries.
I'd like to see her get back in and win only because I watched this like house of cards.
Yeah.
And I think it's a great storyline to watch for her to get back in and win.
The rest of them are all kind of punks.
They're all gangster.
She's a gangster.
And there is, Trump is not, there is no wall.
He's not reigning Wall Street in.
There is no populist revolution.
All of it, all of it has been primarily bluster.
I mean, look, he's really enforced immigration.
On that aspect, it depends on how dark the hearts of these people are at this point.
Because it might appeal to them that he put those kids in cages.
That might be a problem.
Sure.
They might love that.
Right.
But other than that, that's really.
You said it's all talk, but there's a kid in a cage right there.
He's throwing on a Branola ball.
Look at that kid in that cage.
Imagine if they start having rallies exalting him for putting them in the cage.
Like fake kids.
Yeah, they have like agents in effigy.
They have like kids in the cages going, like, I deserve to be in this.
Parents are putting their kids in cages.
Yeah, but the kids are like, the kids like this, there's just a little kid in a cage.
And it's not a protest.
It's a celebration.
Oh, didn't you hear it?
It's a celebration of law and order.
Look at my baby in that cage.
He knows he belongs there.
Happy as shit.
That's my goddamn later.
So, yeah, there is a lot to hit him with.
And yeah, I mean, there isn't.
There is no better candidate than Hillary.
Let's get real.
I mean, Biden, I don't know.
Biden seems compromised.
What was he doing?
Hugging people, whatever.
I don't know.
Bernie's the only person that, other than Hillary, I think has a shot.
Well, here's the big thing.
Kabal is a Fed, Buddha Geg, the gay mayor, sweet guy, but this is not going to work.
Andrews is not.
I mean, I like him, but he's not a box office.
No.
Who else we got in there?
Warren is a clown.
Well, she's going straight for impeachment, though.
So maybe that's a...
I mean, let them do whatever they want.
He's not getting removed.
They can impeach him.
They have one guy who I'll bring up in a second.
But here's the thing: the situation is that who is going to come to Hillary and say, hey, it's over, lady.
There's no one there.
Who, like, who?
Terry McAuliffe or Donald Summer?
Who?
Tom Podesta.
Yeah.
Like, who has the clout?
There is no one really guiding the Democratic Party the way you have.
Obama would maybe be somebody.
If he got involved, if they got him and say, hey, bitch, it's over.
Could he run as her VP?
I guess.
I don't know.
Because you might be able to run and then just, it skips you in succession.
Well, you wouldn't be able to take it.
I'm trying to think if he could run as a VP.
I wonder if they would keep you from.
Have they had foreign VPs before?
I don't know.
It's possible.
Because, no, here's why.
Because if the president dies and you become the president, here's the thing.
And then you'd be serving a.
If Trump has shown us anything, it's like the law don't matter.
Who gives a shit?
You think they're gonna complain?
Hillary's in there and she's gonna be like, Biden's getting in, but no one's gonna vote for him because he's a little bit of a creep.
He's a little bit of a creep.
I mean, he's hugging.
He's grabbing.
He's touching.
He's touching a bit, but it does seem warm.
He seems like that kind of guy who, it was never me.
I could never pull that off.
Yeah.
But like, you see him doing it, why can't I do that?
Why can't I hug people?
I'll tell you right now, I've watched some of it.
I don't love it.
Right.
I see it as a like I say to myself, I'm not, I don't think he's a pedophile.
I don't think he's any of that.
Because no, he touches girls, children.
I mean, you see him touching.
People, kids get very uncomfortable around him.
I just think that it's enough of an issue to probably knock him off.
Well, I think we've entered an age.
Besides the me too, even though it kind of seems to be over, unfortunately, and the women, whatever.
But I think we have gotten away from touching to a large extent.
We're overtouching.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, listen, I just, because again, looking at this from straight storyline, if I, and by the way, if I had faith that anyone who was going to be elected was going to do anything good, I would, I would support that person.
I'm not the, but, you know, Sanders is a guy that I could probably support because I think that he's enough of a shock to the system.
But do I know in my black heart of hearts that, you know, four years of him, what's he going to get?
He'll get like free community college.
I know what these people are up against, I think, when it comes to changing this system.
They need to look a few cycles back and maybe go take another look at Crazy Howard Dean.
Interesting.
Because that's a guy who might be able to harness not the actual Howard Dean.
Remember Howard Dean?
Yeah.
He did the scream.
Money Politics and Neoliberalism Problems00:05:24
We're going to go to Ohio.
We're going to go to Cincinnati.
We're going to go to Delaware.
And that one scream ended his career.
Well, it was the nail in the coffin.
People always forget, though, that speech was happening because he just had a huge upset loss in the fucking primary.
Right.
So he was already kind of people like this guy's a little nuts.
But I will say that when anything short, and I'm not endorsing this, but it does seem like anything short of a violent thing doesn't really change this.
Doesn't change.
The system is so big.
Sure.
It'll either collapse under its own weight or it'll be, I mean, listen, I'm all for getting a socialized medicine.
I'm all for these things.
But let's be completely honest about what is going on.
Well, people say, well, we just got to get money out of politics.
As if that's like the solution.
Oh, we just got to figure that out.
That's the whole thing.
Not only is that the whole thing, in the UK, they do not have the money in politics like we do.
They have a lot of the same problems.
Sure.
They're doing a lot of the same things wrong.
They're all over the world.
They're fucking around.
Like, they're not, you know, it's a lot of the same critiques of their society and their foreign policy as you, you know.
Yeah, and back to Sweden.
I mean, first of all, they admit, like, you talk to these guys who, like, you know, we're economists who are in Sweden.
They're like, right.
Well, look, we, yeah, we tax the rich, but we also like heavily tax the poor and the middle class.
Let's not forget.
Everybody's taxed.
Yeah, a lot, which is fine.
I mean, they're getting a lot for their money, so it's fine.
But also, like, I mean, at first, it didn't work out that well, but they kind of learned from their mistakes.
They, they exploited, they invested their pension funds really well.
Yeah.
And they basically exploited Western capital markets.
And like, you know, we got a lot of Yahoos here trying to make a billion bucks.
Sure.
And they're just smartly kind of exploiting that.
And even if we did the right thing, who is big enough of an economy that we could ride on their back?
That's the problem.
Yeah.
How do we, where's our pension fund going?
Well, when I talk to people that are really hardcore leftists, or not even leftists, but hardcore, like I would say, Marxists, a lot of them fall into two groups.
One, they're wealthy and somewhat guilty.
Right.
Okay.
Number two, there's some tragedy that they have either experienced or been a party to and like they've seen like, because there's a lot of, there's a lot of problems out there.
And capitalism, especially the strain of it that we have, which you've always talked about, is not purely Adam Smith capitalism.
It is a hybrid of the public and private sector in the worst possible way.
Right.
And in a Congress and Senate who are being blackmailed by intelligence agencies that are running around assassinating people and fixing a left.
So the criminality that we've got going on, there are people that have kind of lost their belief in the system and want to burn the whole thing down.
Sure.
And that's on the right.
They are also the same people.
The people that are in the alt-right are no fans of this free market system.
Well, look, if you look at Nazism, what's a guy like Let's Friedrich Hayek, who some of you might be familiar with, one of his big things was drawing the parallel.
Like, look, the far-right Nazis and the far-left Marxists are a lot close.
Both hate Western liberalism, which is what it was called back then, like just capitalism and just free markets and people having freedom, basically.
Like, they'll switch, they would actually switch sides, he'd observe.
Like, these students would go back and forth between Marxism and Bernie Bro, Trump, you know, you know, but they would never go to like, you know, the free market shit.
Well, it does seem like I think a lot of the issues with neoliberalism is that in this, it is so easily gamed.
Right.
And that, you know, there's a certain type of person that thrives in that system.
And that system is, you know, easy to exploit.
Yeah.
And you look at authoritarian systems and you go, well, if we could clamp down, then it, but then that brings up another whole host of problems.
Sure.
And what's interesting, I was rereading Road To Serfdom, which is a book he wrote basically about how any like any.
The premise is that basically, even a well-meaning socialist system will eventually fall into fascism.
Right uh, and you can dispute if you want.
But what's interesting when you're rereading it?
And this is a guy who, like free market people hold up as their yeah like, and the opposite goes, look at this these, you know these, basically crony anarcho-capitalists.
And in the first introduction he's going like, look, it's not only permissible in a capitalist state to have like regulation that increases uh competition it's it's, it's we want, that.
It's like that's better, it's optimal yeah, like it's, as long as you don't with the price mechanism.
But, like you know, but like yeah, regulate this shit.
Like this idea that, like capitalism is tied to no regulation is crazy.
It's insanity.
It's insane.
Yeah, and that and that.
And that's the problem we have now is your new podcast with your girlfriend, Lucy Steiner, our love is disgusting about anarcho-capitalism.
It's basically about anarcho-capitalism, but filtered through mega.
A lot of the pictures you're posting are graphic.
Well, they graphic or they're just disgusting?
I mean well, they are, they're both.
Regulating Insane Unregulated Capitalism00:14:55
Our tongues are touching.
Well, it's your viewer, it's a PDA.
It's public display of affection on instagram right, what is it's?
Our love is disgusting.
What is this about?
Well, we're both uh, sexual beings and uh, we both have uh, a weird sexual piccadillos and look, there's a lot I I think.
I think it's true.
She's very open about all her issues.
Oh sure yeah, I mean, in the first episode we're talking about one of her, basically an extended rape fantasies she had about a guy in the woods right, you know, she said something at dinner the other night that she talks about on stage.
Is that true?
Yeah, is it?
That's true?
Yeah, she brought it up on the on a different podcast and and it's that she had sex with her father.
Well, I wouldn't say it was raped, I guess.
Well, her father raped her.
I mean, we don't, we don't talk about it.
This yeah, I mean I don't know I should be talking about this openly, but yeah, but that's something that happened.
Geez, it's this it's it's, it's, it's an unfortunate thing and how old young young, not good, not great, we don't really talk about in our podcast too much right, but uh, but no, and it's something, but she's very, you know she, she may have jokes on stage about it and she's and it's.
I've never met anyone who was that willing to make light of the darkness the way I would, the way you would.
Well, I would be, but my parents didn't rape me right, but I would be no, but uh, it'd be great jokes, but it's also more light than that.
It's not, you know.
No, it is fun it's hey, it's a hoot.
This show is not so much uh about, you know, trauma As me discussing how she could peg me, or we were one night we had a show where we were talking about, you know, why won't she piss on me?
And she didn't, I wasn't trying to convince her, like, you have to piss on me, but she wanted to make a schedule out of it.
And I'm like, no, why?
How soon do you think you're deplatformed and Alex Jones is put back on?
I mean, that's the goal.
I think Alex Jones will get put back on Twitter and you'll be taken off to it.
We're agent provocateurs.
Yeah.
It is an interesting idea.
You guys are both very open.
And if you're into sexual fetishes or fantasies or just being open.
And look, the reality is it's comedy first.
It's comedy first.
It's a fan of it.
It's child rape and piss fetishes later.
Yeah.
But it's first.
It's the primary thing is being funny.
Comedy.
It's honestly.
I also have my podcast, Cump.
That's still going on.
Sure.
But I feel like, and look, if you like Love is Disgusting, check out Cump.
Sure.
But everyone, I think I'm really proud of this.
I was watching a Tonight Show set the other day today in my Uber and I was going, what is comedy now?
Like, what is like, you've always had a great outlook on this.
Like, literally, what is this?
Like, I was watching it and I was saying to myself, I can no longer differentiate what is done in an open mic from what is done on the tonight show from what is done on like a special on HBO.
Like you showed me.
Time lost.
Well, look, half these people are going back to the open mic right after.
I was not kidding ourselves.
But, you know, like, I remember you showed me a couple few years back.
You showed me some clip and you go, do you like this?
I'm like, I don't know what it was so funny.
I said, is it good?
And you go, I don't even know.
You're like, I don't even know anymore.
What is good?
Look, it's here's a problem.
Yeah.
I don't think that this, the idea that this city's anymore full of amazing comedy that's ripe to be, and then people just being overlooked.
I don't know if that's true.
Right.
I think, you know, I do think a lot of this stuff is more like people are just safer.
People are, I think it's trickled down over the years.
Not that you want edgelord comedy, but you want people to be taking risks on stage.
You want things to be a little uncomfortable.
And you want to see someone like, you know, sit in the comfortable premise and then work back and like and get you back on board.
That's the whole reason for this thing, right?
I mean, isn't that what's attractive?
But when I, what I, what I see now is I see people that are doing a mad lips.
Yeah.
Or they're essentially like these little building these little castles of words and puzzles.
And some of them are better at it than others.
Some of them are more entertaining than others.
But it's kind of getting, it feels corny.
Yeah.
It feels corny and it feels like it's like people I talk to, younger people, like, and at this point, you know, the people who are 10 years younger than me are 22.
I'm getting...
So you're seeing this next generation kind of, you know, come of age and they're like, their stance on comedy.
It's like, oh, I like her.
She's chill.
What?
Like, how is that?
What?
Yeah.
I don't understand.
She's just chill.
They really, this younger generation doesn't like conflict in general.
They don't like conflict.
I mean, I'm sure there's young people stabbing each other too.
They're out there.
But in general, they like people who don't like.
I think the idea of chill is just like you're not, like, you kind of just don't care and you're kind of detached.
And you're kind of, eh, yeah.
I also think like nobody wants to be in awe of people anymore.
Like I talked about that the other day where I said, you used to have acts that you'd be in awe of.
You watch Carlin and it's like even go back to Rolling Stones, Tina Turner, anybody.
And now a lot of the things that are attractive to people are really things where people are like, I can do that.
And they're right.
Yeah.
They are correct.
Well, even the stuff that's good.
Like for 20, 10, 15 years now, at least, there hasn't been like consensus popular rock music.
Right.
It's gone.
Like white keys, probably the last thing or black keys.
Yeah.
But like, and, but there's tons of, like, you hear good bad.
Can we get Bad Baby in here?
Let's get Bad Baby because there is some good shit still happening.
What's my point?
Let's get Bad Baby that song where she goes, White Porsche, White Jay, Whitehorse, find that.
Keep going.
No, but the point is there is good stuff out there, but like everyone wants it to be a band they can see in a bar.
Right.
Like, oh, I saw them when they were new.
It's always been there, but that's become the whole, like, every band's going to have 3,000 people on Patreon that keep them going, but no one wants a huge act.
No one wants to, like, a Regener Arena act.
And look, sometimes when it was like, you know, the Foo Fighters, all right, I can see how it's a little, I mean, they were fine, but like, but, you know, when you had guys like Bruce and you had guys like, you know, even like Nirvana and like, you know, legitimate great, like, you mentioned Pumpkins live for you.
Let's listen to Bad Baby, please.
Pump it up.
Pump it up.
Ty bitch.
This is great.
I like it.
This is great.
Please stop.
Please stop.
This is phenomenal.
That didn't look like you bought it at the KeyN.
Now, this woman was on film.
And she told her mother, yeah, no, catch me.
That's not good.
She's great.
So what we need to do is go to like these fucking these homes for like, you know, wayward children and get them.
Well, that's always what great art's been.
Yes.
I mean, really, it's been.
I don't want somebody in Juliet.
I want this dirty whore.
I mean, if we ignore all the fucking classic rock bands whose dads were CIA agents.
Sure.
But, you know, otherwise, there's always poor people.
Shout out to Dave McGowan on the other side.
But this is like, this is where it's at now.
You need...
And people are surprised.
Like, why is she good?
It's like, she's good because she's an animal.
Yeah.
But that's what we want.
Turn it up again, Harrington, please.
White horse.
Listen.
Ty bitch.
Ty bitch.
This is great.
Cronus head and you stay hating.
All right.
Thank you.
See, this is the type of girl that you don't want your son to marry.
Well, maybe now you do.
But like, what's good about her is that she's, this is literally somebody who is a garbage person.
You know?
Yeah.
But that's what I want.
Right.
I want somebody who is authentically a hefty bag.
What's interesting is you're not going to be able to do that.
You had gangster rap, right?
You had guys like Biggie and Tupac.
Maybe Biggie more than Tupac is a legitimate guy from the street.
Tupac, I think his parents might have been.
Who knows?
My point is, but they were doing the real shit.
They were reflecting the lower class of the time and people who were in bad situations.
And society said, not good enough.
We want trash here.
We want the real animals.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just the maniacs.
And really, I mean, and you need to go with crazy white people, I think, to get the real, like, oh, you had the opportunity.
You just, you spoiled it.
You just took all your privilege and you threw it in the garbage.
Well, there's something about, there's something about, you know, like, there's something that's funny about like, you know, the system for introducing new talent for a while was like fucking game shows.
It's like American Idol, The Void.
You know?
And so here's a girl that went on Dr. Phil and goes, catch me outside.
How about that?
Yeah, I'll beat my mother's ass.
Yeah.
And it's like, okay.
But then you listen to music and you're like, oh, that's exactly what she should be doing and saying.
Right.
I mean, I'm not saying she's fucking the who.
I'm saying for the genre of music she's doing, why the fuck not?
I don't like it when people take the cheap shot and go, look, the president is doing this shit.
You know, young people are looking up to it.
But that being said, if the president is doing that, how trashy is she anymore?
This country is fucked.
My whole point was that a game show host is a president, bad baby, the girl on Dr. Phil is one of our top rising recording artists.
The worst thing in the world would be for this civilization to survive.
That would be horrible.
The worst thing that could ever happen would be for us to reverse the correcting effects of global warming.
What does this look like in 50 years?
Here's the thing.
It's still going to be documented.
It's not like the Roman Empire where we don't was it lead poisoning?
Why are you going to go crazy?
And like, you know, the Huns, this and that.
They're going to know.
So a thousand years from now, they're going to look back in America and see it collapsed like this.
I was watching the Kardashians the other day.
I think they're great.
I like them.
I can't hate them because they've played a game so well.
Yeah.
But I mean, that's part of the problem with these chill kids.
They also respect the hustle too much.
Well, but here's, allow me to make a point about the Kardashians because I think this gets lost on people.
They have a family of people there who have completely created an entire infrastructure to exist in, to thrive in.
I mean, I don't think there's ever been other than the Bushes, I'm not even kidding, a family that's maybe more successful at managing their public image and the media and like, you know, working with fucking, I mean, the young girl Kylie's a billionaire.
Right.
Everybody like saying, hey, I use this cologne.
Yeah.
But I mean, what's remarkable.
There's something fascinating about if you don't watch it as like, I don't watch that show a lot, but every now and then I'll put it on.
I don't watch it for like, ooh, is there drama?
I watch it and I'm like, what is going on here that makes this a, because I'll even watch it and I'll go, I find myself, I'm relatively intelligent, I find myself going, this is kind of interesting.
Why?
Why is it interesting?
And what's remarkable is, and I'm not saying this is all done cynically, but it's remarkable how it worked out that like you have, it's thinking about these rich, beautiful women, you know, with getting ass implants and doing porn videos to get famous.
Yes.
Talking shit.
And that family is also on the spearhead of some most progressive, with Caitlin Jenner.
I'm saying that that overlaps.
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
And people don't give it the credit.
And they come from the best part of my childhood, the OJ Simpson trial.
Right.
The OJ Simpson trial was the best part of my childhood because every day there was something new and fun on television.
And they come from that.
Like, dude, these are, I am not kidding.
I sometimes think they are kind of quasi-religious figures.
If it wasn't for the one-two punch, you were a few years apart of the Iraq, first-Iraq war.
Just go to YouTube and get up.
Just say no, Jay, Comedy Central.
Don't play it yet.
I'll tell you when to play it.
This was my first time on Comedy Central in 1995.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
Between the first Gulf War and OJ, would there even be like 24-hour cable news at all?
Yeah.
It created this whole thing.
It created, it spawned this family.
And then they, and what I love is I love that.
I hate the Hiltons.
I've always hated the Hiltons.
And the Hiltons, they totally displaced the Hiltons.
Right.
Oh, the Kardashians came in and fucking...
She used to be Paris Hilton's like assistant and stylist.
And they came in and totally just fucking displaced.
What's the weird thing is like at this point, are they rich?
I don't know.
Maybe not.
Are they richer than the actual Hilton family?
I don't know, but I would say that if you took all their wealth together, I probably for a while it's like, oh, well, you know, like and also maybe not.
I mean, we'll do that.
Let's take a look at this, by the way.
Let's take a look at just say NoJ, my first time on Comedy Central.
Here we go.
Let's make sure the volume's up and we can enjoy this.
This is a sketch about the OJ Simpson trial that they were playing.
Not now, Trevor, down.
Hey, that's my ball.
Careful, Trevor.
Was it after that point that he told you he'd take the next flight?
Yes.
And it was Edward and you that's the same thing.
Just say No Jay from Comedy Central.
And that was my.
You were great.
You were great.
I did well.
I don't know what that means.
Well, they were playing it as a commercial, as a promo.
Like, just say NoJ, watch Comedy Central.
Oh, okay.
So because everybody, you got to remember, everybody was watching the OJ Simpson trial all the time.
So there's a few different cable networks that were like, hey, can you fucking we're here?
Hey, you think for a comedy network, maybe make a funny promo, but whatever.
Come on.
You know what we're, you know, you know what it is.
What are you new?
The fucking trial is funnier than that shit.
They tried.
Listen, I will say this about Comedy Central.
They've made some of the funniest shit out there.
Yeah.
Think about it.
Honestly, some of the best shows.
South Park, Nathan for You, Reno 911.
I mean, Strangers with Candy.
The OJ Simpson Trial Illusion00:15:30
They're literally.
No, they did remarkable work over there.
The problem is at that time, they were doing great work.
They were doing great work.
Now, if you're listening out there, and I know some of you are, don't ruin it.
Don't ruin it.
Sometimes you just walk away from the table when you had a good meal.
You don't order the dessert, which everybody goes is, eh?
Telling you.
So, but they've done a lot of cool shit.
But there's something fascinating, man.
When I look at that Kardashian family, I'm like, this mom, this mother, Chris Jenner, and the way that she's been able, because you got to think about it.
The kids are remote.
Now, Rob is the only one that doesn't fit in with the program.
So he's out.
He's done, right?
He got fat.
You sell socks, whatever.
But she's been able to kind of corral the rest of them.
And somehow overlap with the NBA, remarkably.
I mean, and then Kanye.
Kim is now married to Kanye.
I've been commenting that.
So it's a wild.
Did they ruin him?
Or is he already kind of on the way?
I think he has issues.
Yeah.
But I don't think they helped.
And now Ryan Seacrest helped create that show.
Really?
Yeah, that's why he's, you know.
Oh.
That's why he was.
It couldn't meet to him, right?
It can't meet to him.
Standing on the thing, he's like, bitch, me too, me?
So it is weird, man.
I watched that show and I'm like, this family, it's an interesting thing.
Is this, I mean, they still have all the shows?
Like, it's not winding down.
Well, they have them one main show.
I don't know how many other shows they have.
I think they just returned to the main show because now they have so many other businesses.
Like, like the kid as a fashion line, she's a billionaire.
It's a makeup line.
She's a billionaire.
All the respect for them.
Yeah.
Great hustle.
Great hustle.
But these kids who like somehow, it's like they, it's cool to sell to me.
Like, I used to, I mean, I was never, I was never the test balloon.
I was never the guy that the advertisers were worried about.
Right.
But that being said, I used to.
Skull advertisers were.
They were trying to get to you.
They shoved more in his lip.
They were trying to get to you.
But yeah, but the idea, I always found it kind of gross when the ad was too.
Because it used to be like, you know.
Yeah, listen.
I'm not saying that I don't, when I talk about them or Bad Baby, I'm not saying this is a hooray for society.
I've been pretty clear about my feelings about society and its direction.
I don't think there's any confusion here.
What I'm saying is when you look at this shit and you look at what has happened and you look at them as a family, you go, you go, what an interesting family to represent essentially America.
I mean, they represent America more than anyone we've ever elected.
I'm barely even asking this, but Kim could win the presidency, right?
I think probably.
Yeah, I mean, who was going to be?
I got to be honest with you, I would vote for her.
I'm telling you right now, I would vote for her.
I think she's smarter than a lot of people.
Sure.
I'm not kidding.
I know that a lot of people now are going to be angry with me or be upset.
I get all these messages, you know, but I don't think she's like adult.
I would never have thought that.
Well, look, she's a hard worker, too.
I know people that know her.
She works her ass off.
There's the thing.
Look, you don't have to.
How great is this?
Nobody would have predicted that the way the show has gone, the last 10 minutes of it would just be a hardcore defense of the Kardashians.
Like, nobody could have predicted where this would go.
We zig and zag.
But no, but the idea is like people really who just accomplish very little in their lives.
Yes.
They love to talk about how smart someone is.
She doesn't work that hard.
I mean, just getting up every day and doing these photo shoots is more than most of these people are doing.
There's a lot of people in the world, and I've noticed this as I've kind of, you know, done more and more stuff that are not interested in doing.
Right.
They're not.
They're interested in sitting, critiquing.
They've gotten very comfortable on the sidelines.
That's where they want to stay.
Even in comedy, you'll see people that tweet all day criticizing other comics.
Those people, and I've said shit about the late night shows, I think, suck and whatever, but like you see people that criticize comics all day.
And you realize, oh, you guys are not interested in doing anything yourselves.
You don't have it to do it because you're probably terrified of failing.
You're terrified of people like, oh, they're scared of rejection.
They're not scared of rejection.
They're scared of getting the opportunity and failing.
They all shoot on these YouTube comics for making these videos.
Who are better and funnier than 90% of what's out there.
I mean, you're making these great videos.
I started making videos recently.
Yeah.
And look, I don't think they're the most amazing thing, but it's just, yeah, just go out there and do something.
Just do it.
Do it.
And when I watch Stand Up Now, and I don't know what happened, but over the last six months, a lot of stand-up has started to blend together to me where I can barely tell you who's who and why they're doing it.
None of these people seem to have a perspective or a personality.
None of these people seem interesting.
And again, I'm not going to attack them and be like, you stuck and this thucks.
You shouldn't have a shut.
But it's like, just speaking very generally, and it's not throwing barbs at anybody.
The art form itself has kind of become milquetoast.
Well, yeah, the guys who, look, you always had this kind of like divide between like the Bill Hicks camp, if you will.
Yeah.
And then the more like guys who would get on, you know, like get sitcom gigs or whatever.
Yeah.
I'm assuming there was a more legitimate divide years ago.
But now the guys who are filling the Bill Hicks role, like, yeah, you know, they're not being edited.
They're not like, I mean, Hicks and Colin were like taking on the military industrial complex in like middle American shit.
And they're just like dick jokes and stuff.
But it's like these people are just so safe, but they're acting like they're these Aurteurs and these fucking like.
Yeah, there is no more counterculture.
Right.
There really truly is not a lot of people on the counterculture.
I think there's a lot of people who, because Trump was elected, they tend to think that all of the progress over the last 50 years has been erased.
So then they believe that they are standing against the tide of all of this stuff that's supposedly coming back.
Where if you look at, and I'm not saying it isn't harder for certain groups of people, but if you look at the numbers here, most people are pro-choice.
Most people are kind of pro-gay marriage, especially in the younger generations.
Most people are aware of racism.
Not to say that they're effective in doing anything about it, but like the election of this guy doesn't mean that everything has been reversed.
Right.
And that now you're the...
And I just find it a little gross because like, yeah, I mean, like, racism is still a problem and you want inclusion, but like, there's no sense of like, even when you thought it was better 20 years ago, we were still, I mean, you were even Obama.
Bush starts a war anywhere from 150,000 to a million people die.
And yeah, there's protests.
I'm not saying no one protests.
But I mean, this is the, like, Trump is terrible, in my opinion.
You can disagree.
Sure.
But yeah, he's abhorrent.
He's saying terrible.
It's just bad for society.
But is he worse than Bush?
No.
No.
And the thing is, it exposes us and our core.
We are the only business left in America, sadly, is the entertainment business.
And we are all very invested in the idea of how we come off.
Yeah.
And what we, but the real true nature of what we're doing, as long as it's fucking like underground and we don't see it and we don't hear it and it doesn't rise to the top and it doesn't bleed into the national news and we don't give a fuck because it takes research.
It takes caring.
It takes you to take a few minutes away from whatever the fuck you're doing.
And people just really have no interest in that.
They want to feel like when people voted for Obama, they felt like they were moving the country in a positive direction.
And some of them were.
But then you had five wars and you had Yemen being destroyed and you had Syria and Libya and you had Iraq and Afghanistan.
And the weird thing is, I think it's journalists being intimidated.
Oh, yeah.
All of that stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Whistleblowing with torture.
He campaigned to a certain extent on like, we're going to encourage whistleblowing and then has a worst record on that.
And by the way, this is not even a knock on Obama.
This is the idea that this is the way the system just continually works.
The tragic thing is I'm cynical.
I don't think he was like, you know, but I do think of the pool of people, he was one of the more like he wanted to do the right thing.
I believe he, to a certain extent, he did.
And that's it's still like that.
That is still getting.
But that's what people don't get.
And this is what people don't get about Bernie Sanders.
And this is what people don't get about Trump.
And this is what people seem to not get about anybody.
Is that any one person is going against hundreds of years of the system.
Think about an animal that's been fed every day to become this unruly beast.
And then you're one guy and somebody hands you a sword and you go in there and you're like, all right, let me try to do something.
And maybe you can injure its leg.
But this is still a massive operation.
People are still acting or talking as if we have this paradigm where you could shame people.
Like you shame politicians when the reality is, like the insurmountable thing, it would seem is that you have corrupt people.
We talk about corruption.
Yeah.
But they act like, oh, but we can kind of overcome that.
But you're asking for corrupt people to vote against, to vote for the things that would remove their power.
And it's, that's.
I don't know how this changes without some type of truly wild thing, whether it's a world war, whether it's an intergalactic problem, whether it's a massive die-off, like a pandemic.
Because the sad thing is that, you know, if you did have a lot of violence on the street, I'm not advocating that, but that's just, you know, if you did have that, it would probably play into the hands of fascism more than any country.
It would play into the hands of the people that would then just unleash the amazing power of the state to clamp down on it.
I think you'd have to have mass civil disobedience.
You'd have to have met, but I just...
Think of one agent provocateur throwing a fucking pipe bomb.
Yeah, I'm trying to do it.
And then it becomes a fucking header.
That's a problem.
And I'm trying to get hedges in here and me and him will maybe talk about, you know, but I think what's far more likely, what's far more likely is just a slow unwinding of, you know, and the next 50 years being 50 years where the people that you'll see rising to positions of power are charlatans, hucksters, Connors,
because those are always the people who come in at the end and they'll fight over the scraps.
Well, the interesting thing is, like we talked about before, like, the normal thing would be in this case for his empire to unwind itself over the course of a century.
Right.
But you still have this insane military.
Sure.
So do we start a war with China?
It's not beyond these people.
Nothing is beyond these people.
So that's going to be interesting.
Nothing is beyond these people.
A lot of people in the upper echelons of society are stunningly naive, willfully ignorant of what's going on.
I think there's a, you know, you go to Harvard and Yale and all these people.
They are products of a system that rewards conformity and encourages the type of discourse that leads to one conclusion in most cases, you know?
And that's why you have the rise of the far right and the far left, because these are people that are offering another option.
Probably not a better option, but another option.
They're giving you the illusion of action.
They're giving you the illusion of something that's going on.
But I don't know.
When I talk to people all the time, they're like, well, what happens?
How does it play out?
And I go, I don't know anything.
I just know that from talking to you and from talking to other people I know about economics, a big event will probably be when the dollar is no longer the reserve currency.
Right.
That seems, and a few people have said that that becomes, that will be an event.
And people, I think we're moving away from that for a number of reasons, I guess.
But that was kind of a real big concern, immediate concern.
And people thought by now even it might be kind of, and it seems that we've kind of shored up like that for a while.
But I just, we're built on such a half-saccards when it comes down to it, this whole Keynesian bubble shit.
It's remarkable they've kept it going forward.
What do you make of the Steven Pinkers of the world who are like, it's great.
Everything's good.
Because they do point to statistics of like people coming out of poverty in the third world, people being lifted out of poverty, infant mortality, the ability to stop diseases, breakthroughs in science and technology, the availability of medicine, like things like that going forward, that they have a rosy outlook.
Well, Tim, look, here's a problem.
It's undeniable to me that capitalism and the efficiency that goes along with it and a number of other, you know, in a controlled way has able to kind of raise up a lot of our culture and fucking this and that.
But yeah, and so yeah, we're better off than we were.
But it's also like, yeah, the Industrial Revolution, the technology revolution, but that also came sort of out of capitalism.
And like capitalism, if nothing else, is efficient, right?
Right.
But you need to like mine the store.
You have to like, you know, make sure people aren't, you know, just tearing each other, their country apart.
Well, also, there's a lot of ethical and moral problems.
And, you know, Slavo Zizak and Peterson had that debate, which kind of went nowhere.
But, you know, Slavo Zizak had that point where it's like, you're going to now hit this real moral question where you have bio tech.
Yeah.
You know, going into some very scary, interesting places.
Sure.
And if we're just looking at efficiency, we're going to be in trouble because you're looking at some very, very questionable areas.
What bugs me about because it's become very like...
It'd be efficient to just put a chip in your arm so that if you pass out, somebody could know what medications you're on, what diseases you have, what any of your problems are.
It's the efficiency of the market.
And look, it's a response.
At the end of the day, first of all, what did Franklin say?
When they asked him what kind of government we're going to have.
He's like, a republic if you can keep it.
Sure.
And then the idea, and I believe that's really a powerful sentiment in the idea that like it wasn't.
We have not kept it.
No, we have not kept it.
And I think 100 years ago, whether you're on the right or the left, there's people who talk about how the average worker, the average working guy, whatever, immigrants were much better informed.
They're much more engaged in the facts and in politics and in just in the world.
And they've spent 100 years using advertising and television and movies and music to basically a combination of mind control, but also just like desensitizing.
And like, hey, like, yeah, go play your iPad.
New Material and Boston Laughs00:02:31
And I get it.
It's fun.
I like video games.
You like the cup games.
I like the cup head.
Yeah.
Yeah, but then what happens?
You lose your phone.
I lose my fucking phone.
And then paypal.
You lose your phone.
And then you're in this Terry Gilliam film where they're like, no, you did make that purchase.
Right, exactly.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
And that's where we are.
That's where we are.
We're all in an Uber pool playing a cup game, losing our phone, trying to get a password, and everybody's telling us to fuck off.
Where can people find you?
Our love is disgusting.
It's on iTunes, on every platform.
Check me and Lucy Steiner.
I think it's getting on the ground floor because I think this one's going places.
Plug your social media.
At Ray Cump on Twitter and Instagram.
And you can find me there.
And yeah.
I'm out of here, folks.
I'm in L.A. full-time starting June.
Tim J. Dillon, D-I-L-L-O-N on Instagram and Twitter, TimDylonComedy.com with our upcoming dates.
We're going to Moontower in Austin, which is really awesome.
I'm at Dead Crow Comedy Club in Wilmington, North Carolina, May 2nd, May 3rd and 4th.
Get down there if you're in that area.
Buy tickets.
It's going to be great.
I'm at Laugh Boston, one of my favorite clubs.
I believe the 17th and 18th of May.
Laugh Boston.
It's going to be fucking awesome.
Get there if you can.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday shows, which are going to be great.
In June, I'm at Comics at Mohegan's Sun, I believe the 20th through the 23rd.
And I'm at Side Splitters in Tampa, June 27th.
Okay.
So those are some dates.
If you are in any of those places, grab tickets.
Be great for you guys to come out.
A lot of new material, a lot of fun stuff we're having.
And I'll be on a lot of podcasts that you guys have heard of when I'm out there in L.A.
And I'll be back in New York occasionally.
I'm going to be here.
I'm going to keep a presence here.
But, you know, we're changing.
Things are changing.
We'll have Ray on when we're back in New York.
Check out his new podcast.
Subscribe, rate, review.
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Thank you for listening and enjoy the rest of the nightmare that we call life because, you know, there's a lot of shows that tell you it's going to get better, but this ain't one of them.