| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Shark Week Diversity Debate
00:02:55
|
|
| Well, folks, I thought it was fake. | |
| I thought it was fake, but it's real. | |
| Apparently, according to The Washington Post, Shark Week lacks diversity and over-represents men named Mike, scientists say. | |
| So the Washington Post said that researchers say Discovery's program overwhelmingly featured white men as experts while emphasizing negative messages about sharks during Shark Week. | |
| Guys, I thought it was fake, but... | |
| It isn't. | |
| And it also never ends. | |
| So guys, just be ashamed. | |
| Doesn't matter for a while. | |
| You don't have to do anything. Just be ashamed all the time and you should somehow be covered. | |
| On behalf, and I will speak for them generally speaking now, I couldn't do this for any other race, but I think I can speak on behalf of white men everywhere. | |
| I'm so sorry for being racist towards Checks, notes, sharks. | |
| Guys, you can't make it up. | |
| I'm going to take the Jaws quote. | |
| You're going to need a bigger boat. | |
| You're going to need to update your diversity, equity, and inclusion standards discovery. | |
| Maybe, maybe, because I know I've been in the water with sharks a lot. | |
| Maybe white guys are just the only people dumb enough to get in the water with sharks. | |
| Is that okay? I assume that's not racist because I'm poking fun at these things. | |
| But like, the other silver lining is guys, if The Washington Post is running a story about Shark Week lacking diversity and that the scientists included in researching sharks are overwhelmingly right. | |
| Maybe, just maybe, we're running out of things! | |
| We're doing things to pretend to be racist. | |
| Maybe we're finally running out of nonsense to be outraged about. | |
| Because, honestly guys, that one's a stretch. | |
| Most of them these days are a stretch. | |
| When everything in the world is viewed through the lens of racism and how it somehow doesn't represent some group, it's a problem. | |
| I mean, you don't hear anyone talking about like, I don't know, I feel like short, unathletic white guys like me, and I'm not that short, I'm 6'1", but relative to the NBA, I'd be pretty short. | |
|
Continuing The Patriarchy
00:00:36
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|
| I feel like I'm grossly underrepresented In the courts of the NBA, and yet no one would seem to have a problem with that. | |
| But guys, Shark Week, be sorry that you enjoyed it because you too are, I guess, continuing the patriarchy or some sort of other nonsense. | |
| Crazy. Can't make it up anymore, folks. | |
| I thought it was fake, but it's real. | |