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May 29, 2019 - Davis Aurini
40:38
Charisma for Introverts

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Charisma for Introverts Part 1.
The purpose of this video If I were to describe the past 10 years in a single word, it would be polarization.
Economic polarization, political polarization, and social polarization.
For the purposes of this video, the latter is the most significant.
Society has morphed over the years, simultaneously demanding more social interaction, while enabling more isolation.
The friendly bar scene, where long conversations were the norm, has turned into the ADD nightmare of clubbing to techno-beats, where conversation is impossible and crude body language becomes the norm.
Meanwhile, the sort of communities where introverts would be most comfortable have shifted to the online world.
Instead of a chess club, it's World of Warcraft, and instead of a church group, it's an internet forum.
Introverts who naturally prefer privacy wind up hiding behind avatars and text-based dialogue, which makes sense in the short term, but over the long term it deprives them of the interpersonal skills that are needed to form meaningful relationships with others.
Introvert does not mean antisocial, after all.
An introvert is simply the sort of person who prefers the slower rhythm of quiet conversation.
However, because they aren't exposed to the same degree of social interaction they would have been 10, 20, let alone 50 years ago, because the school system wants everyone to be a leader, and the party scene demands maximum sociability to a degree which makes them uncomfortable, they wind up being stunted in their ability to relate to others.
Hence my reasons for making this video.
First, because charisma is something which can be learned.
Second, by improving your ability to interact with others, it will improve what you get back from them, and what you give them in return.
And third, by learning how to deal with others effectively, you'll then be able to maintain your own privacy even when social interaction is necessary, thereby improving your own life and the lives of those around you.
So the goal of this video isn't to make you into this asshole.
Ha ha!
Jim Jim Johnson!
People call me Jamie James, yeah!
Or, God forbid, this sweet girl.
And he was drooling!
And I was like, I am not trolling!
I am Foxy, you see?
But rather to provide you with the framework of how practical charisma works, how you can start to learn these skills without immersing yourself in raver culture, and what the ultimate payoff is for you.
But there's a bit more to it than just pure charity on my part.
Some of the best salesmen, comedians, musicians, and social butterflies that I've known have been introverts, and charisma is more than just your ability to interact with people.
When each and every one of us flourishes, expressing our own unique talents in our own way, it improves this world for everybody.
That's the real reason I'm making this video.
But let's start with some practical definitions.
Part 2.
What is introversion?
Before we start discussing charisma, we should start by taking a page from Marcus Aurelius and defining what introversion is in the first place.
This is necessary for two reasons.
First, because if we don't understand what introversion is specifically, we risk conflating it with many of its side effects.
Fear of public speaking, depression, approach anxiety, bouts of being antisocial.
The fact of the matter is that extroverts suffer all of these as well.
An introvert who's unskilled at charisma will experience them more frequently, but these are the effects rather than the cause of their introversion.
The second reason for defining introversion is because I've run into a lot of extroverts who think they're introverts because of how dumbed down our culture has become.
Folks, we're living in a world of mass marketing aimed at the lowest common denominator, a world of McDonald's and high fructose corn syrup, of Michael Bay movies.
In the past 10 years, the lyrics of popular music have dropped an entire grade level, and for every breaking bag that appears on the scene, there are dozens of mindless sitcoms and family dramas.
Political correctness only increases the banality of our culture, demanding a simplistic, streamlined thought process where everything has been decided for you beforehand.
When mediocrity is the norm, it doesn't matter if you're introverted or extroverted.
Just the thought of going out winds up making you feel like King Arthur in Monty Python's Holy Grail.
Let us ride to Camelot!
We do routine to call the scenes to bookmark in the cable.
We dine well here in Camelot, we have the Germans Famous.
Between our quest, we see confessed that the person make our cable.
It's a missing life in Camelot.
I have to push the Pramalot On second thoughts, let's not go to Camelot It is a silly place.
Over the years, there have been two systems of personality analysis which I have found particularly useful.
The Myers-Briggs type indicator, an extensive breakdown with 16 different types, and the simpler, and thus more generally useful breakdown of the four medieval temperaments or humors.
The optimistic sanguine, the ambitious choleric, the self-contained phlematic, and the hermitic melancholic.
The fundamental differences between them can be delineated on two axes.
The judging perceiving axi from left to right and the extrovert introvert axi of north to south.
We'll start by examining the east-west axis and by doing so prepare the ground for the north-south axis.
On the left, we have right-brained, and on the right, we have left-brained.
This is no accident as the two hemispheres of the brain control the opposite sides of the body.
Those on the left can be described as having a people-focused or emotional understanding of the world, with definite answers.
Socially, they want to know how the crowd is feeling, specifically.
Environmentally, they want to seek out and create beauty, which is recognized as such.
Those who are left-brained are process-focused.
They wish to understand the big picture, the pattern of all the moving parts.
Socially, they seek out a simplistic understanding of individuals for the sake of the greater whole.
Environmentally, they pursue efficiency.
The two extroverts from earlier, Boxy and Aaron Clary's Jimmy Jam persona, naturally fall into this pattern, with her being the sanguine personality in the upper left, boisterous and seeking to encourage positive feelings in those around her, while Jimmy Jam is a choleric on the upper right, who wants to identify, organize, and lead those around him to victory.
For an example of how these two differ along the southern introverted side of the plane, there is no better example than Red Letter Media's Jack and Rich Evans.
In particular, their review of the game Firewatch.
Rich is a melancholic, concerned with the well-being of others, but masking his inner self behind a wall of humor.
Jack is a phlematic, who ensures that all the behind-the-scenes machinery is working.
Their different takes on the game highlight their different approaches.
Rich hated it, viewing it as a great story hidden behind pointless and unrewarding exploration, while Jack relished the opportunity to delineate and navigate the environment, even though it presented no narrative metaphor, merely a goal at the destination.
The East-West spectrum on this chart describes a complex mechanism behind how we approach information.
Not merely a simplistic question such as, do you prefer people or spreadsheets, but how we manipulate data in general.
The North-South spectrum is equally subtle.
Extroversion doesn't mean that a person wants to be around people all the time, and introversion doesn't mean that a person is antisocial.
Rather, it describes the differences between those who are driven to seek out confrontations and battles to test themselves and to learn new skills versus those who prefer to meditate deeply on the world.
An extrovert approaches study as a challenge.
They seek out argument and new ideas.
They're prone to using overly simplistic metaphors that are good enough for government work.
An introvert is more liable to analyze material in depth, categorizing minutiae and building a codex, potentially missing out on important new ideas.
Socially, the extrovert will regularly feel the need for hot confrontations with others, which are unpredictable in nature.
The introvert will prefer predefined settings with people they know, where the conversational growth happens organically.
Of course, neither extrovert nor introvert is absolute, any more than the differences between judging and perceiving prevents a mechanic from enjoying art or a sculptor from learning programming.
In a certain sense, all of these positions are relative to the other people in the room.
The most extroverted introvert is liable to take on the leadership role in a chess club.
And furthermore, everyone experiences shifts during their daily circadian rhythm, more introverted in the morning and more extroverted at night.
Overall, though, following the statistics compiled by the Myers-Briggs people, it is safe to say that each person has a dominant temperament they fall into, which determines their optimum form of socialization, and these are pretty much equally balanced between the four types.
Part 3.
Defining Charisma So what is charisma?
The word sums up images of someone who's charming, debonair, and comfortable in all sorts of social situations.
But what does any of that mean?
What are the elements?
I would argue that charisma has a two-fold nature, the practical and the spiritual.
The practical covers everything from sales techniques to NLP to simply memorizing funny anecdotes and good jokes.
These are the techniques learned by effective public speakers, managers and CEOs, salesmen and preacher men, and while the naturally extroverted on average tend to excel at these skills, the true masters are often introverts.
The reason is rather obvious if you think about it.
Most extroverts enjoy intense socializing.
It's like a game of pickup basketball for them.
They learn the rules, the patterns, they learn how to make a shot, but for them, it's never really serious.
It's a hobby, maybe a semi-professional hobby, but because they're innately talented at it, they have trouble seeing what's actually going on.
Another example would be jazz improvisation.
On my bookshelf is a musical transcription of every improvised solo of giant steps ever recorded by John Coltrane.
When the transcriber, David Dempsey, a professor of music and coordinator of jazz studies at William Patterson University, showed Coltrane the sheet music and asked him if he could play it, the jazz legend just laughed and said, not on your life.
When an introvert approaches practical charisma, they come to it as an outsider.
At first it's all noise, a maelstrom of movement on the court or fingers shimmying up and down on the instrument's keys.
But as they begin to understand it, they take note of the subtle aspects which extroverts take for granted, of assumptions which the extroverts never question.
Through their outsider status, some of them come to master it to a degree that few extroverts ever achieve.
The second form of charisma is the spiritual, the force of personality.
The most perfect summation I've ever heard came from the anime series Psycho Pass.
This inner form of charisma might be more obvious in the extrovert, but it's just as powerful when it's present in the introvert.
We'll return to the spiritual form of charisma later, however, because we need to start off by delineating the basics.
Part 4, the basics.
Crafting the persona.
The word persona traces back to the Latin word for person, but with specific implications.
It was the word used to describe the role an actor would play in a drama and the mask they would wear to play it.
It is also closely related to the verb personare, to sound through, that is, to speak through an amplifying mask, or to speak politically.
It is a term that describes somebody's personage rather than their personhood.
Your persona is your mask, but this observation is nothing new.
It's been endlessly analyzed, derided, and condemned, and many a writer has observed that people often wear false masks.
But this sort of cynical approach winds up indicting all of human behavior.
It's one thing to look out for the wolves in sheep's clothing, the psychopaths, the manipulators, the monsters who feign friendship to put you at ease.
It's quite another to condemn all of humanity for our propensity to put on a false face.
If personas are nothing but hypocrisy, by what standards do we condemn the monsters?
If persona is an a priori evil, then we're all just as guilty and in no position to rebuke the creatures.
The reason I bring all of this up is because persona gets a bad rap amongst people who value sincerity.
And as a rule, introverts prefer low-key, sincere communication amongst a tight-knit group of friends.
Contrast to the extroverts who often enjoy creating raucous, false personas and knocking one another down in a friendly social wrestling match.
But knowingly putting on a false persona to amuse your friends is no more insincere than enjoying a work of fiction.
And by denouncing all personas, one not only risks becoming a caricature of Holden Caulfield arguing that everyone else is a phony, but also misses out on one of the most simple and powerful tools for social interaction, especially for introverts.
The persona is a crucial element of our psyches.
Forget the parts about actors or manipulation and focus on the personage aspect.
Who are you when you interact with others?
What is your role in this world?
Our inner life is a chaotic jumble of emotions, memories, snippets of songs, and passing fancies.
We all occasionally disappear into ourselves and follow a particular train of thought oblivious to the outside world.
This isn't to say that there isn't some sort of coherence to us as a person taken as a whole, merely that the moment-to-moment thoughts have very little bearing on who that person is.
For example, imagine you went up to a person and said, what's on your mind?
And they replied with, Now if Ivana Trump divorced Neil Diamond and married Jack Nicholas, she'd be Ivana Diamond Nicholas.
It would be understandably off-putting, wouldn't it?
And yet this is precisely what happens with so many introverts.
Social interaction catches them off guard and they either blurt out something confusing or quickly say nothing and then adopt a defensive pose.
Hence the persona.
Who are you to this person?
What role do you play in their life?
How much do they know about you?
How much do you know about them?
What common background, hobbies, or interests do you share?
What sort of persona can you adopt to put them at ease?
Notice something about all of this.
None of it is disingenuous.
You're not putting on a false front or trying to manipulate them.
Instead, you're trying to understand them and figure out a communication protocol which the two of you can share.
The author Orson Scott Card once commented that a well-written character will speak differently to different characters.
Because in real life, you speak differently to your mother, then your father, then your friends, then your boss.
Each relationship is unique, and the persona is the set of common topics that the two of you share.
Rather than being phony, it is, in a way, one of the most effective ways of being genuine at short notice.
A truly deep heart-to-heart conversation takes hours, but by devoting some forethought and maintaining some awareness of who you are to other people, you'll be able to communicate with them more effectively.
And most importantly, by adopting such a genuine persona, you'll be able to maintain your own privacy without anybody else being the wiser.
It will do the talking for you so that you can disengage and go back to whatever you were doing beforehand, and then, when it's time to re-engage, you'll also know how to approach.
Directed Interactions In the first section, we covered how to use a persona as an automatic tool to deal with the world around you.
With a little bit of forethought and preparation, you won't be left feeling flat-footed in social encounters.
But another difficulty some introverts run into is communicating their emotional needs to another person.
The persona on its own will ensure that you fit in and that you're a pleasure to be around.
It will even make it easier to decline offers when you need some alone time.
But on its own, it won't help you communicate to someone when your needs, emotional or otherwise, aren't being met.
We all remember poor Milton from Office Space, after all.
An exaggerated comedic version of the introvert, granted, but there's a grain of truth to his character nonetheless.
And I told Dom, too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window and I could see the squirrels and they were married.
The persona on its own is reactive, but to lead a happy and healthy life you need to be able to enact action as well.
So how do you go about it?
A sergeant I once knew summed up the structure of every lesson plan in the military thusly.
First, you tell them what they're going to learn.
Then, you learn them.
And then you tell them what they just learned.
It's crude, but effective, and it's the basis of every form of communication.
Essays have an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.
Stories have the inciting incident, the arc, and the denouement.
Music starts off by playing a basic tune, expanding upon it, and then bringing it to its ultimate point.
And even complex and esoteric forms of art only reject these rules because they're adhering to them on a deeper level.
This is how Eraserhead still manages to tell a story despite being filled with obscurantist imagery and an incoherent narrative.
So, right off the bat, we have the basic structure of communication, informed by your persona, informed by who you are to this person and what they understand about you.
I need to talk to you because there is a problem.
Let me describe this problem to you.
And this is why the problem matters to me.
It seems redundant, but by simplifying into baby talk like this, it ensures that not just your message, but the important elements of your message make it all the way across to the other person.
Those are the bare bones.
Let's start to put some flesh on them.
Simply info-dumping the person isn't enough.
You need to engage them throughout the process.
The introduction prepares them so that you have their attention, but you need to maintain that attention throughout the conversation.
In lectures, they do it by asking the audience for responses.
In fiction, they do it with rising and falling tension.
In essays, each paragraph is its own mini-essay, and in music, they modulate the volume.
But for our purposes, we'll be using sales as an example.
So, how does your typical sales script go?
Hi, I'm so-and-so.
I'm calling you about X. X is a really great thing.
Have you heard anything about X?
Let's put this in military terms for a second.
Hi, I'm Corporal Retired Arini.
I'm here to teach you about rifles.
Understanding your weapon will keep you alive on the battlefield.
Who here has any experience with rifles in the past?
Introduction, definition, emphasis, question.
It's all the same thing.
Let's put it into a professional context.
Hi, boss, I'm Joe from the IT department.
We've been having a problem with the Cisco routers.
These routers are necessary to maintain the bank machines.
Has anybody informed you about this yet?
And finally, a personal context.
Hi, honey, I'm your husband.
There's something I'd like us to do.
I think this thing could be a lot of fun.
Have you ever considered doing something like that?
Now, saying, Hi, honey, I'm your husband, might sound ridiculous at first blush, but there's a reason I include it here.
You are not just her husband, after all.
You're also her lover, the co-parent of an obnoxious child, part of a financial unit with her, and a close friend with shared interests.
Which one of these people, which one of these personas, is the one talking to her?
And how many lovers' quarrels have occurred because the homeowner started arguing with the lover?
These four steps are how you get the ball rolling.
They're friendly and non-confrontational.
They don't get people's defenses up because rather than lecturing, you're asking for their input, but they're only the beginning.
The ABCs of sales are always be clothing.
Stephen King referred to this as the gotcha that keeps you reading.
And P.T. Barnum put it, always leave them wanting for more.
Let's return to poor Milton and watch how he handles a confrontation.
Now, Milton, don't be greedy.
Let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece.
Okay, but last time I didn't receive a piece, and I was told that I could have...
Just pass.
If, okay, if, but this, this, if, if, there's, there's, I can't see the cake.
There's lots of cake.
Milton stopped at step two.
But even if he had carried on into step four, what would have happened?
Nina still would have ignored his complaint.
This is why we need step five, the rebuttal.
In any sort of conversation or negotiation, the other person will have an opposing point of view to your own.
The boss will be busy worrying about something else.
Your wife will be thinking about the children's school district.
Your friend won't understand why visiting a classic video game arcade is important to you.
Every successful sale starts with a no, and every successful conversation starts with a misunderstanding and a disagreement.
Don't let yourself get shut down by rejection on the first go.
This is all part of the negotiating process.
This is all part of the understanding process.
The other person will assume that, because you didn't rebut them, that you didn't really care about the topic or that it was the sort of thing that could be handled later.
If it's urgent, if it's important to you, don't bottle it up.
Walk into the conversation with a plan and ensure that they hear what you're trying to say.
Introduction.
Who are you?
Description.
What's the problem?
Emphasis.
Why does it matter?
Question.
What's their take on it?
Negotiation, negotiation, negotiation, and finally, resolution.
Remember, people care about what you have to say, whether it's a loved one or your boss.
Just because they dismiss you initially doesn't mean that they're ignoring you.
Use the dismissal to understand them better so that they can understand you better.
Don't be like Milton and bottle things up until you burn down the entire office.
Communicate with those around you.
Body language Thus far we've spoken about how the persona is important because it is essentially a series of communication protocols between you and another person.
We've covered the basic tactics of how to communicate effectively, but now I'd like to cover a critical component that will provide necessary very similitude to your communication, that will determine what sort of person other people see.
Your body language.
I'd like you to do something for me right now.
I assume you're sitting down watching this from your computer and probably hunched forward the way I usually am when I'm watching something online or reclined backwards with your feet up in the air.
I'd like you to sit up straight.
Now roll your shoulders back a couple of times and now let your arms sit by your sides in a natural pose.
Don't be worried about taking up too much space.
Butt back in your seat, feet square on the floor.
Head up, looking straight ahead.
Now, unfurrow your brow and smile.
It doesn't need to be a big smile, just a friendly face to show the world.
How do you feel right now?
I'll bet you feel just a little bit better than you did a few minutes ago.
The way we stand affects the way we feel, and the way we feel affects the way we stand.
At the beginning, I speculated on some of the reasons that antisocial behavior has been growing more pronounced.
Let me add one more.
Bad posture.
How you stand tells the world who you are, and it also tells you who you are.
I'm sure you were occasionally lectured about your posture while growing up, but the emphasis is usually upon your health.
Proper posture feels like it takes more energy at first, but it prevents injury and fatigue, which is the main reason it used to be enforced.
But there's a secondary reason for maintaining good posture.
Take a look at this photo from America's Past.
Now look at this one from the present day.
The people in the first photo are poor, desperate even, and yet they hold themselves in a manner that demands respect.
In the latter, we see how far culture has fallen, shambling monsters who don't care about anything beyond their own immediate gratification, and posture plays a role in this.
People will treat you how you allow them to treat you, and your posture tells the world how you want to be treated.
The military is one of the few institutions which still demands good posture, and soldiers are taught to stand at ease with their hands behind their back.
The reason?
Dominance.
A man standing in such a position leaves his testicles fully exposed.
It's a position that subconsciously communicates that he isn't afraid of any rival, that he's a warrior at the top of his pecking order.
Ladies, meanwhile, protect their sex demurely, standing straight while keeping themselves private, neither titillating nor cowering.
Both sexes, in embracing proper posture, demand respect, but more importantly, they instill self-respect in themselves.
So how do you stand on a day-to-day basis?
Does your body language match the words coming out of your mouth?
Chest forward, chin up, shoulders back?
If your body language is nervous, your tone of voice will be nervous, and you'll make the person you're speaking to nervous.
This isn't to say that you need to be standing rigidly at attention 24-7.
Both the attention and the at-ease stances are meant to be striking.
Far more natural is the position known as contraposto, most perfectly realized in Michelangelo's David.
70% of the weight on the back foot, shoulders back and head straight, arms hanging loosely at the sides, and testicles exposed, of course.
I've even been known to employ this stance myself.
But then again, I've also been known to pose like a douchebag, so take it for what it's worth.
All of this can be boiled down to three points.
Good posture, open body language, and a friendly facial expression.
When you integrate body language into your persona, assuming an air of quiet confidence and cautious friendliness, your interpersonal interactions will transform overnight.
People will mirror your body language, and what you send out into the world is what you get back.
Addendum.
There are several points I'd like to leave you with before moving on to the next section.
They're important points, but this has been about establishing the basic framework for practical charisma rather than trying to turn you into an expert salesman.
Just keep these ideas in mind as you practice your communication skills.
1. Learn to use power words.
It might sound ridiculous, but by using words with the correct oomph behind them, you will get your message across faster and more successfully.
In Pushing Rubber Downhill, Adam Piggett recounts the story of his first job working for a motivational speaker where he started off in the role of telemarketer.
The speaker's wife, who also worked the phones, told him to open the call with the statement, I'm here to inspire you to come to the course.
Think about that for a moment.
Think about a young man phoning somebody out of the blue and saying, I'm here to inspire you.
It sounds douchey, doesn't it?
The thing is, it works.
Don't be afraid of a little flamboyance.
2. Learn to read faces.
The eyes have long been considered to be the windows to the soul.
This is because it is very hard to lie about one's emotions through the eyes.
Study someone's face as you speak to them.
Look at their eyes, watch what they're saying.
Take note of how they respond to the words that you say.
When my father was teaching me to drive, he told me the car goes wherever your eyes go.
And the same thing holds true for communication.
Watch the eyes and you'll see what they're thinking.
Also, when you do read the rest of their face, pay attention to the off-handed side.
People will have more control over the side of their face that corresponds to their dominant hand than the other.
Their true personality will come out of their offside.
3. Learn Kino.
Now let's be frank, nobody likes to be touched inappropriately.
Hello!
I am Captain Sledge.
This is my crew.
We are...
THE PRINCESS OF TIME!
HA HA HA!
Don't touch me!
But if you can master the correct time to touch someone else, it can be employed to escalate intimacy.
Not just with women either, but with your brothers as well.
We can all use a hand on a shoulder when we're feeling down or a high five in camaraderie.
Use it sparingly, but don't be afraid of Kino.
Otherwise, you become the hoverhand guy.
Don't be that guy.
4. High five.
Speaking of high fives, if you're uncomfortable dealing with children and you're ever at a loss for what to say in response to their weird ramblings about Pokemon, just hold up your hand and say, High five!
Everybody loves a high five.
In fact, this doesn't just work on children.
It works on almost everybody, even when it doesn't fit the conversation.
It's weird, it's fun, and it's open.
It's also a great way of introducing yourself during jury duty to ensure you don't get selected.
Hey, if it works for Borat, and it does, it will definitely work for you.
My wife is dead?
Yes, sir.
I'm sorry to inform you, but that's what the telegram says.
High five. Part five.
Charisma as a spiritual force.
Thus far we've spoken about charisma tactically, both as a defensive measure, that is, to maintain your privacy in crowded situations, and as an offensive measure, how to communicate with others and have successful relationships.
Perhaps all of this strikes you as cynical.
Well, what do you think Sunzi would have said if you told him that the just side always wins the war?
Whatever he said in reply, it would have been a lot more polite than what the ancient Hebrews would have told you.
Yes, charisma is an arena of battle like any other.
Military, political, economic, all of these are arenas of battle which obey mathematical laws.
But even in something as prosaic as an online RTS, there's a phenomenon known as momentum.
Maintain momentum and you will always achieve victory.
Spirituality is the ghost in the machine.
Who are you?
I began this video by exploring, in depth, the four cardinal archetypes of human personality.
They can be broken down further into the 16 different types of the Myers-Briggs, so long as you don't mind looking at a Tesseract.
Nofi Sultan.
Know thyself, one of the basic aphorisms of the ancient Greeks.
So who are you?
Based upon what?
And how do you know?
There are two phrases that we use interchangeably in English despite having utterly different root meanings self-esteem and self-respect.
Esteem is self-evident.
Your self-esteem is what you think you're worth.
Fifteen bucks an hour, a trophy at every parade, or abuse because you enjoy it.
How you esteem yourself is similar to your body language, the only difference being that they seldom correlate.
Self-respect, though, that's an interesting one.
The stripper at your nearest strip club certainly has a high self-esteem.
After all, she thinks she's worth 40 bucks for a twenty minute lap dance.
But we all know that her self-respect is pretty low.
Re specare Latin for to look back upon Self-Esteem is what you think you're worth.
It's the price you demand in the marketplace.
Self-respect, on the other hand, that's who you know yourself to be.
Self-respect is when you look back upon your life and see it accurately.
You see the victories, you see the failures.
You see where luck or birth benefited you, and accident of fate doomed you.
You look back and see a person who succeeded sometimes, failed other times, but learned throughout the process.
Those with a great self-esteem have never rabus specciabamer, looked back upon themselves, and have never learned who they are, what their faults are, or what their victories have been.
Nothi Soten Who are you?
What is the introvert?
Is he an awkward loser who never fits in and is forever consigned to second place while the fun people go to the parties?
Hardly.
He is a person of depth and study, of profound emotional complexion, who pays attention to the things that most people ignore.
She is sensitive, as understanding as she is irritable, and as convicted of her purpose as the warrior with his sword.
Charisma is your force of personality.
The fire and air are explicit in what they do, but the water is slow while the earth is subtle.
Have you ever walked into a church and felt the spirit of God or walked into a home and known who lived there?
The sanguine wields charisma like it's a dance, the right answer at the right time.
The field marshal, the teacher, the provider, the supervisor.
Each of them knows what is going on and they present you the answer that you need when you need it.
The choleric wields charisma like a weapon, the inventor, the champion, the performer, the promoter.
They use their charisma to force a new dynamic upon the world.
The phlematic uses their charisma to sustain.
The architect, the healer, the composer, the crafter.
They maintain the world through force of will.
The melancholic's charisma sets the tone of the world without you even knowing it.
The mastermind, the counselor, the protector, the inspector.
They establish the beat of society.
How do you come to know yourself?
The sanguine who never challenges himself becomes a hedonist of no significance.
The choleric who never challenges himself becomes an infantile capitalist.
The phlematic who never challenges himself becomes a replaceable technician.
And the melancholic who never challenges himself becomes an obedient cog.
Self-respect re specare requires something to look back on.
Without life experience, without challenges, without overcoming and battles lost, you cannot know who you are.
The extrovert naturally knows socializing, so he must discipline himself into study.
The introvert naturally knows study, so he must discipline himself into socializing.
Introversion is no more a handicap than having an aptitude for the mechanical, and yet it is used as an excuse in the exact same manner as engineers who never apologize for an ignorance of history, literature, or politics.
To know who you are, you must learn about yourself.
You must study yourself, and you must study others as well.
You must challenge yourself, you must challenge others, and you must make a fair estimate of how the battles went.
Introversion is not a deficiency, it is the fundamental nature of how half the human race operates, and the human race could not operate without you, introverts.
And because you've been gifted with the sight of how society operates behind the scenes, you are likewise called upon to help the extroverts see what you do.
Charisma for introverts is not merely an opportunity.
It's a moral calling.
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