A requested video on forming friendship as an adult. Contact me if there are any topics you'd like me to cover.
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Now as to the person that is sponsoring this requested video, he's going by anonymous, and he asks a question that I think a lot of us are struggling with.
And so I'm going to read the whole thing out.
How do you make friends as an adult?
I feel like, given the current cultural climate, getting laid is easier than forging genuine friendship with people who would resonate well with the audience that typically watches your channel and similar content.
I frequent online communities that center around, you know, MGTOW, the red pill, Manosphere philosophy, not because the dynamics of relationships with women intrigue me, but because this side of the internet has the strongest understanding of the current culture war.
You guys, yourself, Turdflinging Monkey, Ruchby, etc., and thank you for putting me in that company, discuss things with a level of nuance and intellectual vitality that I can't even seem to approach in real life.
And I've been in presumably intellectual environments like Ivy League schools.
I live in a big city in Canada, and the fact of the matter is, most people discern truth at such a low resolution that there's no hope of them ever achieving the levels of woke that I see within this community.
There's just a stunning lack of introspection, a general inability to articulate or make sense of the complexities of things occurring to them, and a whole lot of intellectual dishonesty.
I don't know, most people just suck, and I can count on one hand the number of people I would consider true friends, and they were people I met over the internet, though almost entirely coincidental circumstances.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a blessed individual in terms of the relationships that I've built, but it'd be nice to make sense of the possibilities so that it doesn't have to be luck that determines my interactions with others.
So, this is going to be a video about not relying upon luck, but relying upon intellect, social hacking, tools, things you can apply to try and find men that you would want to forge real masculine friendships with.
So, I broke it down into five points.
Now, the first point, and I don't think this first point necessarily applies to Anonymous asking the question, but I need to put this out there just for the sake of completeness.
Number one, consider therapy.
Now, I can already see some of you reacting to that.
Here's the thing about therapy.
Therapy is not going to give you closure.
It's not going to quiet your internal demons.
It's not going to really help mental illness or anything like that.
That's not why I'm saying consider therapy.
What therapy will do, if you need it, is help you develop social skills that you might lack.
I mean, guys, we're in the internet age.
A lot of people lack social skills.
If you lack social skills, that's just an obstacle you need to overcome.
You know, maybe you need to go, I need to go to physical therapy for this hand.
Maybe you need to go to social therapy to learn good techniques, good coping skills, etc.
So I'm just, I'm putting that out there.
And you know, even if you don't need to actually start seeing a therapist, well, maybe you need to pick up a copy of how to make friends and influence people.
You know, maybe you need to read some of Ruch's books on game.
You know, don't become a self-help junkie, obviously.
But, you know, there's some books out there that might give you the kick in the ass that you need to improve your social skills, to improve how you relate, how you behave around other people.
So that's number one: is consider therapy, consider self-help.
Now, let's get to the interesting parts of the answer.
Number two, look to yourself first.
Now, what Anonymous is frustrated with is the fact that he's surrounded by normies.
And guess what?
Normies suck.
You know, maybe 50 years ago they were a little bit more sane, but they weren't sane because they had arrived at these conclusions on their own.
They were just putting voice to the popular delusions at the time.
Just so happened that back then the popular delusions were mostly good delusions.
These days, the modern delusions are pure insanity.
But you're expecting too much from the normies.
Okay, the thing is, even 50 years ago, yeah, they wouldn't have been quite as insane, but they would still have been just as boring.
So this is why you need to look to yourself.
Why are you surrounded by normies?
Yeah, compared to them, you're smart, you're well-educated, you're productive, etc.
What about compared to the sort of men you want to hang out with, the sort of men you want to meet?
I will guarantee you that there is some aspect of your life where you're not living up to your potential.
You're not firing on all cylinders.
You're being lazy, you're being slothful, something's distracting you.
You need to become the sort of man that these men would want to hang out with.
So take a personal inventory of yourself and say, am I doing everything with my career that I could be doing?
Am I doing everything with my lifestyle?
Am I an interesting person?
Because I guarantee you, there is a community of guys out there that you could have riveting conversations with.
I'm not going to say you're going to find a soul brother at the drop of a hat, but you will find guys that have something interesting to say.
It might be within a limited domain.
It might be a professional organization.
But there are people out there.
You need to earn your way into that community.
Number three is related to this.
Begin participating and contributing.
So are you part of any extracurricular activities?
It could be soccer league, could be fencing, could be hiking, could be professional organizations as well.
You know, are you showing up to these events and contributing?
Are you investing in the event?
Are you making the event better?
Because if you're just showing up, well, first of all, if you're not showing up, you know, the first thing you need to do to win is to show up.
So you need to start showing up.
And if you're already showing up, but you're not contributing to the events, then nobody's going to notice that you're there.
Let me put it really frankly.
Who do you think I remember from the comment section?
The people that are very witty and the people that give super chats.
Obviously, the people that are contributing.
And, you know, I have stuff I do outside of YouTube, and I try and be engaged.
I'm very busy with everything I'm doing, but, you know, I try and put things together every once in a while.
You know, people tend to know who I am and I try and bring positive energy into their life.
I try and fulfill something useful, something entertaining, interesting, good, positive, etc.
So make sure you're getting out there and make sure you're being a net positive contribution.
You're not just one of the people following without saying anything.
So you need to stand out by doing positive works.
Number four, engender your creativity.
The sort of people you want to hang out with, the sort of men that you want to meet, are going to be creative thinkers.
Okay, whether or not they're educated.
I mean, this is the big thing we have today.
We think that going to school and memorizing a bunch of stuff means you're educated.
Well, no, not at all.
The difference between somebody that comes out of college with a true education and somebody that doesn't is that the true education expects you to think for yourself, expects you to find answers for yourselves.
It demands creativity, not just rote following of the rules.
So if, you know, there's a bit of advice.
If you're doing the first year of some course and they're not, they're just expecting you to memorize what's in the textbook, they're not expecting you to go out there and use Google and try and find information, then you're probably not being educated.
You're just being trained.
So engender this creativity.
Just think of possibilities and not just for yourself.
One of the things I try and do is just brainstorm ideas for how my friends could make money.
And if I come up with a good idea, I'll send them an email and I'll say, hey, listen, I just had a thought.
I don't know if you want to run with this or not, but if you did X, Y, and Z, you might be able to make some profit off of that.
That might be the sort of thing that you'd be interested in.
You know, not trying to tell you what to do, just a thought I had.
I'm just trying to be creative right now.
Most people aren't going to take the advice either because they don't want to succeed or because it's just, you know, it's a good idea, but it's not for them.
The point is to get these creative circuits, these creative juices flowing so that you're the sort of guy that's seeing solutions, not problems.
And the final point, you need a purpose for the friendship.
Male friendships don't exist in a vacuum.
They don't exist just for the sake of hanging out.
They do when you're a child.
But even a child, who do you want to hang out with when you're a little kid?
Well, you want to hang out with somebody that plays the same games that you play.
You're the kid that likes playing chess.
You don't hang out with the sort of kid that likes playing soccer.
And play is just practice for adulthood.
In your early 20s, you tend to form hunting packs with other men.
I mean, this is partly aside of the fact that side effect of the fact that we've dissolved the social bonds and the natural patriarchy.
And so young men are kind of left on their own to try and figure out what the hell they're supposed to do.
But nonetheless, you form a pack with other guys, and usually what these guys are doing, number one, going to the bar to meet chicks.
Number two, maybe engaging in a hobby.
Number three, trying to swap advice about job opportunities or that sort of thing.
But mainly it's you're pursuing chicks.
So again, we're looking at the childhood friendship, very simple.
You just need to like the same toys.
Young adult friendship.
You just need to like girls.
And that's what that's really all.
You need to like girls and you need to like drinking.
When you start to get older, when you get into your 30s and above, masculine friendship really becomes about achieving a goal.
Because that's what we do as men.
We work, we achieve things.
Now, the normies.
The normies don't want to achieve anything.
Okay?
The normies are the ones that want to hang out.
They want to smoke weed and watch Dude where's my car.
They want to just paddle along using their credit cards to buy more stuff and slaving at the corporation while bitching about their job and never doing anything about it whatsoever.
They want to be comfortable.
They want to be comfortable living in the comfortable little box.
And right now, the box is absolutely poison and it's eating them alive.
It's not a box, it's a pod from the Matrix.
But again, they would rather stay in the Matrix than do anything creative, do anything positive.
So to really sum this whole thing up, to make a meaningful friendship with somebody as an adult, you need to be useful yourself.
You need to be a positive contributor.
You need to be going out there and being active in things.
You need to be creative.
You need to be a creative thinker.
And you need to find guys that are interested in building something with you.
Right?
Guys that have built things already, and that the two of you, you might be able to work together to build something.
So if you want to find friends as an adult, you know, look to professional organizations.
Look to serious hobbies and bring something to the table so that you are worthy of that friendship.
And if you can get together and really have something worth building, then there you go.
Things will come together.
What you don't want to be is the normie.
Smoking weed, watching Dude, where's my car, drinking bush light, and hanging out with Hank Hill in his alley.
You know, who's Hank Hill's friends?
Well, his three closest neighbors.
All right?
He does not have high standards for who his friends are.
If you want somebody interesting, you need to be achieving high things yourself and find somebody else that you can achieve high things with.
Best of luck anonymous.
We all need it.
But you know, one last thing to keep in mind.
Yeah, it was easier to find people that weren't idiots 50 years ago, but it was just as hard to find people that were geniuses.
So now the scales have come off.
You can tell what people are.
It just gets you that much closer to finding somebody worth hanging out with.
