Relationships as Garnitures: How to Choose the Right Partner
Do you want to design a congruent life? Or buy every random shiny object you see to fill up your trailer?
My Discord channel: https://discord.gg/5RCvXX3
My website: http://www.staresattheworld.com/
My Twitter: http://twitter.com/Aurini
My Gab: https://gab.ai/DavisMJAurini
Download in MP3 Format: http://www.youtubeconvert.cc/
If you feel like tossing some coins in the hat, I take BTC, BTH, ETH, LTC, & XMR as well as Paypal: http://www.staresattheworld.com/donate/
Or, you could back me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DMJAurini
So here's a word that I'll bet none of you have ever heard before.
Garniture.
Now if you look this word up, the first definition is going to be a collection usually of vases.
That's not how I ran into it.
Garniture was also a term used back in the late medieval to describe a decorative set of armor.
So the sort of things that kings and higher up nobles would wear, a set of full plate armor with bronzing on it, paintings, etc.
It was a garniture in that every single piece of that armor, it's like, yeah, you could, you know, wear the greaves with a different breastplate, but it's going to look pretty stupid.
It's all meant to go together to create a cohesive whole.
Now, think for a minute.
Think for a minute about some of the lower class, the disordered people that you've met, whose houses you visited.
You know, often, you know, when you were in elementary school or middle school, you'd go over to your friend's house and it was completely chaotic.
None of the decor matched.
Nothing was consistent.
Their home was not a garniture.
It was an absolute madhouse.
And let me give you an example of this.
You know, I wonder how many of you remember Billy the Bass.
Billy the Bass was this gimmicky thing that came out about 15 years ago or something like that.
And it was a little wall-mounted trout that when you press the button, it would start singing some classic song and then the fish's head would come out and actually sing some of the words.
It was a sort of thing that you looked at it when it came out and you're like, oh, that's cool.
And you're kind of tempted to buy it.
Now, all of the lower class people would go out and grab that thing even though it didn't match anything else in their house.
I mean, if there's some guy that did a lot of fishing and he bought that for the downstairs bar, then that's hilarious.
It fits in.
It's great.
But if you try and live an ordered life, then you want your home environment to be ordered as well.
So you don't have a psychedelic rock poster on one wall and a classical painting on another.
You want colors that complement one another.
You want a consistent art style throughout your home.
You want pieces that go together.
If you start buying every single thing that you see on the shelf, you're going to wind up with a riotous home life and you're going to wind up with an empty bank account.
Because rather than thinking closely about what sort of decor you want to buy for your house, you're just going to buy whatever jumps out at you.
And then you're going to throw it out a year later and replace it with something else.
You're not going to have anything that you hold on to and make the most out of.
And so I think it's very important.
I think it's very important to have an ordered home, first of all.
And part of the way you do that is being selective about the decor.
You know, not blowing a huge wad of cash at the store to get matching everything, but putting a little bit of thought into things.
This should be a project that takes you, you know, if you live in the same place, five, ten years, right?
You move out and you get the leftover cutlery from some previous collection.
And bit by bit, you get the implements for the kitchen, you make sure they all look good together, they all match, you get artwork over time, and it all matches, on and on.
So, this isn't one shopping spree where you blow all your money.
This is a long-term project of creating a home where all of the objects d'art in it are a garniture.
And the same thing goes for your relationships.
There's that phrase, it's an excellent phrase, that you are the average of your five closest friends.
So, what sort of people are you hanging out with?
But it's not just friends.
You know, as you grow, you'll find that your friends will, if you're growing in a positive direction, they will reflect positive things about yourself.
Your circle of friends will make a lot of sense.
But what about relationships?
One of the big errors I think we make about romantic relationships these days is that rather than looking at this person as a garniture, as one part of the whole of your life, the entire tapestry, we just look at that one person and ask, am I in love with them?
Are they hot?
These are, maybe they're necessary questions.
Maybe, yes, they do need to be hot.
Yes, they do need to trigger a spark in you.
But if you don't look at the whole, if you don't look at how does this person get along with my friends, because if your wife doesn't get along with your friends, then you're not going to be seeing your friends very much.
How does she get along with my parents?
Does she share not necessarily the same, but similar interests to me?
Does she fit into my life and make things better?
Because a wife or a husband, this is going to be the mantelpiece.
This is going to be the center of the room.
And if you've got religious art all on your walls, and you've got Billy the singing bass above your mantelpiece, well, it doesn't matter how cool Billy the singing bass is.
Now you've got an environment that's nothing but sheer chaos.
So when you're considering a spouse, and actually I shouldn't even say spouse.
Okay, guys, like you need to make this decision very early on.
You need to discern this very early on.
Okay?
When you're looking at this, you need to ask yourself: when you're just considering somebody, considering going on a date with them, would this person fit into the garniture of my life?
Now, a lot of people you won't know right away.
You do need to get to know them.
But if right off the bat, yeah, I know she's not going to fit in, but dude, she's hot, you are asking for trouble.
You are creating a chaotic environment for yourself.
You are adding to the instability in your environment.
And quite frankly, things are already so unstable, and love is even worse, that you're really making life absolute hell for yourself.
So, think with the big head, not the little head, is, I guess, what I'm trying to say.
