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| Now I don't expect that this is a video that's going to be popular with anybody, because, well, I'm talking about responsibility, and nobody likes to be reminded that they're responsible for something, especially not when it comes to sex, because this is one of the most sex-addicted generations that has ever existed. | |
| But I think it's worth making nonetheless. | |
| I need to start by saying that I'm not trying to shame you with any of this. | |
| Lord knows I'm the last man to be doing that. | |
| I was a libertine and a rake for most of my 20s. | |
| So this isn't a case of, you know, do as I say, not as I do. | |
| This is do as I say, because I've been there and I've done that. | |
| I'm embarrassed to admit just how much I've been there and done that. | |
| And so this is learn from my mistakes rather than learning from your own. | |
| And just as an aside, the sort of person that tends to try and shame you about something, well, it's usually something that they're not very tempted to do in the first place. | |
| In my case, drug addiction. | |
| I am. | |
| Drugs just don't interest me at all. | |
| I don't find them addictive. | |
| Quite frankly, even the amount of work I would have to go to to find marijuana is more than it's worth to me. | |
| So I have no propensity there. | |
| I'm not about to go pretend that I'm superior to somebody that is very tempted by drugs. | |
| Sex, on the other hand, sex addiction is something I know a thing or two about. | |
| And the second point I need to make is that when we talk about two consenting adults, we are not talking about the law. | |
| When it comes to the separation of church and state, you know, this is part of the Western tradition, that legality and morality are two separate issues. | |
| They are two separate magisteriums. | |
| That there is lots of stuff that morally you can say, I don't think that's a good idea. | |
| I don't think you should be doing that. | |
| I think it's going to bite you in the ass. | |
| But that doesn't mean you want to make a law about it. | |
| Generally speaking, when it comes to the law, if it involves two consenting adults, whether we're talking about sex or drugs, we're talking about sodomy law or the war on drugs, it doesn't matter. | |
| When you get the government involved in enforcing morality, things tend to go sideways fast. | |
| This is the rejection of a theocratic regime that is inherent to Western civilization. | |
| Because just like the guy that's shaming you for your behavior probably isn't very tempted to do that, the theocrats are probably going to pass lots of laws on whatever doesn't tempt them without really doing much about the things that do tempt them. | |
| And so you just get an absolutely tyrannical police state. | |
| So no, we're not talking about law. | |
| Two consenting adults, that is an excellent principle of law. | |
| But it's a bad principle to live your life off of. | |
| So sex, two consenting adults. | |
| Are there really only two people involved in that union? | |
| Any sex act, any act of intercourse, is going to potentially create a child. | |
| And when you engage in sex, you need to be thinking about that child. | |
| Now, there's two major rebuttals to this. | |
| The first major rebuttal is prophylactics. | |
| I mean, we've got this wonderful birth control nowadays. | |
| We've got condoms, we've got the pill, we've got a dozen different ways to avoid pregnancy. | |
| So we don't have to worry about the kid with the prophylactics. | |
| The first response to that, or the quickest response is simply, prophylactics don't always work. | |
| You know, you hear the stats that you see that this is 99% effective, or this is 99.9% effective. | |
| Those are when the birth control is used properly. | |
| Those are in laboratory settings. | |
| This is not what's happening on Friday night. | |
| Condoms break. | |
| They break all the frickin time. | |
| And the birth control pill? | |
| Well, she needs to be taking that pill every single day at the same time of day. | |
| No birth control method is 100%. | |
| So even if it's only one in a thousand, and quite frankly, it's a lot more than that. | |
| Even if it's only one in a thousand, that's a baby you're talking about. | |
| That's a life. | |
| And you need to be considering that life when you engage in intercourse. | |
| It's not just about the two consenting adults. | |
| It's also about the baby. | |
| The next objection would be, what about non-procreative sexual activities? | |
| There's lots of stuff you can do in the bedroom that won't result in the creation of a child. | |
| Well, in this case, you have to think about what you're doing to yourself. | |
| So there's not just you and her in the bedroom. | |
| There's also your future selves. | |
| And if you start pursuing these extravehicular forms of intercourse, if you start getting involved in BDSM and whips and leather masks, one day down the road, you're in a place where you're not even getting an erection and there's three midgets running around with gimp suits on. | |
| And at that point, you wind up becoming a person that can't have normal sex anymore. | |
| You've so warped and twisted and redesigned the sexual impulse into such a manner where you cannot get off with a single person. | |
| And that's a place where I don't think most people want to go. | |
| Most people do want to find a partner to love them and support them and be with them throughout their entire lives. | |
| And if you wind up going down the path of extreme kink, you won't be able to do that. | |
| You've now precluded forming a relationship or ever having children. | |
| So generally, as a safe rule, for both the guys and ladies out there, before you have sex, ask yourself, would I be okay having a child with this person? | |
| You know, would I not necessarily marry them, but would I be willing to share my genes with this person, to, you know, raise this children, to make the expenses, to pay the costs that are going to be a part of this procreative act if it produces a child. | |
| And guys, that will save you, that will save you from the crazy girls. | |
| That will save you time in prison. | |
| That will save having an oops baby by some psycho that lies about her birth control. | |
| And ladies, that will prevent you from having a deadbeat dad, from carrying around a bastard child that's going to preclude any decent man from being interested in you after that. | |
| So before you have sex, ask the question: would I be okay having a baby with this person? | |
| It will save you a lot of pain, a lot of expense, and a lot of heartache. | |
| So that's the first part. | |
| It's not just about you and her. | |
| It's also about the potential child. | |
| But, you know, I'd argue it's about a bit more than just that. | |
| That there's more people involved in the sexual act than just the two consenting adults and the possible child that results. | |
| And I'd like to use an episode of Bojack Horseman to illustrate this. | |
| Now, Bojack Horseman, it's an absolutely wonderful Netflix original cartoon about a burned-up Hollywood actor that's extremely selfish. | |
| He's not a proper alcoholic, but he is selfish in the exact same way as an alcoholic. | |
| No regard for himself or for the people around him. | |
| His life is just this path of destruction. | |
| And there will be a minor spoiler here, but you can see this plot point coming from a mile away. | |
| So what happens in one of the episodes is that Bojack abandons his city and abandons his career to go visit an old flame of his, only to find out that she's now married and she has children. | |
| And upon finding this out, he doesn't want to return to his old life, so he winds up becoming the funny sitcom uncle that hangs out in the household. | |
| Now her daughter is just about to graduate high school, can't get a prom date, so Bojack offers to be her prom date. | |
| He takes her there, winds up taking her on a romantic date afterwards without any intentions of seducing her. | |
| Okay, he's not a terrible person. | |
| You know, he just doesn't try and be a good person. | |
| He doesn't have any intentions of seducing her, but he takes her out. | |
| And when the party sucks and the people there are mean, they go and go hang out in the back hills and they do a couple of things. | |
| And then they get back to the house and the girl says to him, Bojack, I'm ready for my first time and I want it to be you. | |
| So now you've got this 50-year-old man who dated her mother, who's now being propositioned by a younger, hotter version of her mother, who's still on a deeper level in love with her actual mother. | |
| And now the 17-year-old who is sober and she is of age, as she points out, so this is legally perfectly fine. | |
| And, you know, technically speaking, wouldn't you rather somebody like Bojack who understands how to use condoms be the first time with her than just some random high school kid that's irresponsible? | |
| What's wrong with the scenario? | |
| Why does this make us all feel a little bit ill? | |
| Why is it wrong? | |
| Because it's not just the two of them involved in that sexual union. | |
| There's always a network of relationships. | |
| See, the way that sexual union is going to go is that they'll have a brief torrid affair. | |
| You know, the 17-year-old will be just stars in her eyes over this older, experienced man. | |
| And the date he took her on was a recycled date. | |
| He'd taken another girl on that date, you know, 20 years ago spontaneously, and he just recycled it for her. | |
| He knows all the lines, he has experience, game-recognized game, Bojack. | |
| But for him, she's just a hot piece of ass. | |
| It'll be a torrid affair that goes absolutely nowhere and strains all of the network of relationships. | |
| This girl is going to be hurting her future self. | |
| She's going to be pursuing this older man that's ultimately unavailable, you know, that doesn't know how to love. | |
| She's going to be hurting her mother. | |
| The sexual competition between mother and daughter, it's preternatural. | |
| It shouldn't exist. | |
| And yet, Bojack's allowing that to take the forefront by engaging in all of this. | |
| There's a strained relationship with the mother and the husband, who the husband is now going to have to acknowledge that there's some sexual tension between the mother and Bojack. | |
| And also their future selves. | |
| You know, the 17-year-old in the future is going to greatly regret this affair with Bojack, even if she doesn't realize it right now. | |
| You see, all of us have people around us that want us to be happy, that want to see us successful, that want us to build a life and find, you know, not just the fleeting happiness of an orgasm or a drug or a party, but the long-term happiness of actually building something out of this random chaos of nature. | |
| And when you just engage in sex casually, without any thoughts for who this person is or where it's going or how it affects your parents or your family or your friends or any of your extended family, | |
| when you treat it as just an orgasm, as just something that happens between two consenting adults with no sense of responsibility or consequence, you can wind up hurting a lot of people. | |
| Even if you come from a bad place, even if your parents were terrible and you grew up in a foster home and you don't have anybody that cares about you, one day you will. | |
| One day you will have people that will care about you and want to be happy. | |
| And if you damage yourself by treating sex like it's a piece of candy, that it doesn't have these consequences, that it doesn't have these ripple effects, that it's just a physical act and not also an emotional and spiritual act, you are hurting yourself and you're hurting those that care about you. | |
| Now, I don't really have a simple answer for any of you folk. | |
| You know, the story of the prodigal son is all about how sometimes you need to go out in the world and make a giant mess of your life to learn from your mistakes. | |
| Life ain't easy and there's no user manual. | |
| We've got to sort it out bit by bit as we go along. | |
| But keeping in mind that all decisions have consequences and that sex is one of the most important and powerful and potentially dangerous things in our lives will hopefully guide you to make wiser choices in the future. | |
| You know, it isn't saying that you need to reject it entirely. | |
| It's a healthy urge and it's a source of potentially incredible happiness and pleasure. | |
| But like fire can also burn down your life. | |
| Take care of yourselves, folks. | |
| Best of luck out there and try and be kind to one another. | |
| Baring out. |