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Nov. 12, 2023 - In the Litter Box - Jewels and Catturd

03:38:23

TURDSTOCK '23 - In the Litter Box w/ Jewels & Catturd - Ep. 453 - 11/12/2023

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	Thank you.
	Good afternoon, everybody.
	How you feeling for the first Turdstock USA? Welcome to Nashville, Tennessee, Music City.
	This is where memories happen, and you'll never remember them anyway, so don't worry about it.
	Listen, this started off as a conversation between a couple of guys on Twitter, myself and a guy named Cat Turd, and I know you guys follow him.
	And what a crazy name.
	Why would anybody call themselves Cat Turd?
	I mean, really?
	It tells you a lot about him, man.
	He's got a great sense of humor, and he loves this country, and he just want to get out there and be heard, you know, and First Amendment and all that stuff.
	And sure enough, you look up here in 2023, and Cat Turd's got millions and millions and millions of people that tune in to him every day.
	So we thought, man, it would be fun to take a little break from the action, all the negativity out there in the world.
	Let's make some music.
	Let's have some fun.
	Let's have a cocktail in the afternoon, man, and just forget our troubles for a minute.
	And that's how Turdstock was born.
	Can I get a yee-haw one time?
	You're sitting in the Redneck Riviera, 2nd and Broadway, 3rd and Broadway right here in Nashville, Tennessee.
	This is where we love our veterans, our active duty, our police, our fire, all the great American heroes in our country.
	This bar stands for them.
	Without them, there would be no America.
	Can I get a hell yeah to that one time?
	I'd like to thank our staff, Lacey, Pete, running sound over here, my buddy TJ, back in Arkansas, and our buddy Gio right over here who's running all the cameras.
	He's a patriot too.
	From Detroit, Michigan, we got a real Yankee up in the house right there.
	We love you, Gio.
	So without further ado, I'd like to introduce the man of the hour.
	The man who this event is named after, and I hope this is not the final turd stock.
	I hope this is a yearly thing.
	He's never been seen before in person, only as the icon of a cat flipping you the bird.
	But it's my pleasure to welcome a real patriot and, by the way, a veteran of the United States military.
	A veteran.
	And he says what you're thinking.
	Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, Cat Turd!
	Hey, hey, hey!
	Is the Cat Turd Army out there or what?
	Hey, I'm not going to talk long because the longer I talk, the more music there's not going to be.
	Let's get it on.
	I meant a few words.
	All right.
	I'd like to introduce my partner in rhyme.
	I've been making music with this character for a long time.
	He hails from the great state of Virginia.
	The universal minister of love, Mr.
	- Mr. Big Kenny!
	Yay!
	How you doing, Big Kenny?
	Fantastic, Brother John.
	We turn these guitars out loud, right?
	Got to be big and rich level.
	Bring mine on up.
	There it is.
	Kenny, what do you feel like singing for these folks?
	Wild West.
	Little Wild West show, our very first single?
	Yes.
	We're celebrating the 20th year of the release of Horse of a Different Color.
	Yes, we are.
	One, two, three, four.
	I'm feeling like Tonto, riding a Pinto, trying to chase a lone ranger down.
	I'm a little unraveled but I'm still in the saddle Crying your name out to the clouds Hey y'all, hey y'all Oh Why don't you meet me back at the teepee We'll lay down by the campfire.
	And there in the dark night, we'll smoke the peace pipe.
	Forget about who's wrong or right Chaos, chaos Yeah, it was a picture now Oh yeah, we stood our ground, shot out the lights.
	It got a little crazy.
	Don't wanna see us go the way of the buffalo.
	Don't wanna have another wild west shore.
	Hey y'all, hey y'all, hey y'all.
	Only forgiveness will finally end this.
	There won't be a witness if we both fall.
	There's never a hero in a battle of egos.
	There's never a winner of the quick jaw.
	It's chaos, chaos.
	Oh yeah, it was a big showdown.
	Oh yeah, we stood our ground.
	Shout out the lights, it got a little crazy.
	Don't wanna see us go the way of the buffalo.
	Don't wanna have another Wild West show.
	Hey ya, hey ya, hey ya Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey-ya, hey-ya, hey-ya, it's like a ghost town without you around.
	Why can't we just forget right off in the sunset?
	Give me some more Bikini, Pete. - Bye.
	Y'all feel like singing with Big and Rich for a minute?
	What?
	Let's see what you got.
	Let's see.
	Here was a big showdown.
	Oh yeah, we stood our ground.
	Shot out the light.
	We've gone a little crazy.
	Don't wanna see us go the way of the buffalo.
	Don't wanna have another Wild West show.
	Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
	Hey y'all!
	Hey y'all Are you having a big and rich time at Turdstock?
	Hey Pete, turn us up.
	You gotta remember me and Big Kenny are halfway deaf because we've been playing Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy for a long time.
	That's a loud song.
	Kenny.
	John.
	Yesterday was Veterans Day.
	Yes.
	I just wonder in this room and around the country, how many veterans do we have in attendance?
	Please raise your hand if you're a veteran.
	Yes, sir.
	Yes, sir.
	Cat Turd is.
	Yes, sir.
	Yes, sir.
	We'd like to say thank you for your sacrifice and thank you for your service to our country.
	You're the reason we still have a country to argue about in the first place.
	Can I get a hell yeah for that one time?
	This song is a song Kenny and I wrote many years back.
	Thank you.
	After a little trip that we took early in our careers, before anybody knew who we were, to a little town called Deadwood, South Dakota, if anybody's ever been up in that part of the world.
	We were up there singing late one night, and we noticed this bartender in the back of the room.
	And he was hard to miss.
	Wearing a big old top hat, had a white ponytail all the way down to his belt, and covered in Grateful Dead tattoos.
	Can you picture this guy?
	Yeah!
	Oh yeah!
	So when we got through singing, we sat down at his bar, introduced ourselves, and he told us his name was Niles Harris and that he was a Vietnam veteran.
	We said, well, we're big and rich.
	He goes, nice to meet you, yeah?
	And as we dug a little deeper, this man began to tell us a story about a battle that he was in on November 8th, 1965, in War Zone D in Vietnam.
	And on November 8th, 1965, 30 Americans were overrun by over 1,200 Viet Cong And they killed every last one of our boys that day, except for our buddy Niles and two others.
	But they shot him up so bad that he came back to the States and he spent two years at Walter Reed Medical Center getting over his injuries.
	But would you like to know what that boy did when they finally discharged him out of Walter Reed?
	I'm asking Church Doc, would you like to know what the boy did when he walked out of there now?
	He lived out of that hospital and he signed up and he did three more tours of Vietnam, United States Army is what he did.
	He's a hero.
	So we wrote a song about him.
	We dedicate this song to him, all of our active duty, all of our veterans, the boys and girls overseas in harm's way, and the 13-plus that never came back from Afghanistan.
	They will never be forgotten.
	This is called the 8th of November.
	I said one, two, three, two, two, three, eight.
	He said goodbye to his mom as he left Santa Dakota to fight for the red, white, and blue.
	He was 19 and green with a new and a 16 just doing what he had to do.
	He was dropped in the jungle where the choppers would rumble with the smell of napalm in the air.
	Then the sergeant said Look up ahead Like a dark, evil cloud Twelve hundred came down on him And twenty-nine more They fought for their lives But most of them died In the 173rd Airborne On the 8th of November,
	the angels were crying as he carried his brothers away.
	With the fire raining down and the hell all around, there were human love standing that day.
	Saw the eagle fly through a clear blue sky.
	1965, the 8th of November Now he's 78 and his ponytail's gray But the battle still plays in his head He limbs when he walks, but he's strong when he talks about the shrapnel they left in his legs.
	He puts on a gray suit over his airborne tattoo as he ties it on one time a year.
	And remembers the fallen as he orders a tall one and swallows it down with his fears.
	On the 8th of November, the angels are crying as he carried his brothers away.
	With the fire raining down and the hell all around, there were few men left standing that day.
	Saw the eagle fly through a clear blue sky 1965 on 8th of November
	Saw the eagle fly through a clear blue sky 1965 on 8th of November On the 8th of November, the angels were crying as he carried his brothers away.
	With the fire raining down and the hell all around, there were a few men left standing that day.
	On the 8th of November, the angels were crying as he carried his brothers away.
	With the fire raining down and the hell all around, there were a few men left standing that day.
	Saw the eagle fly through a clear blue sky 1965 8th of November On the 8th of November He said goodbye to
	his mommy as he left South Dakota to fight for the red, white, and blue.
	He was 19 and great with a new M16.
	Just do what he had to do.
	Friends, brothers and sisters, it would appear it's come that time of church stock already that we should do a toast together.
	Amen.
	Thank you.
	Lord knows we have so much to celebrate, man, and count our blessings on a daily basis.
	And, you know, our service members are one of those great reasons.
	I just got off the phone with Niles the other day, the 8th of November.
	He came out of back surgery, I want you all to know that, and he's doing great.
	So he's kicking butt.
	He's doing good.
	He's doing all right.
	He's doing all right.
	So to all those who've served, be it Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, National Guard, To all those who serve here at home, our police officers, our firefighters, our emergency service workers, and our school teachers, pray tell.
	To all of them, we want to salute them with one of the greatest words ever, and that word, yes, it's F-R-E-E-D-O-M. So if you've got a bottle, a can, a cup, or a hand, hold it high in the air.
	And on the count of three, let's say that word freedom so loud to hear it across the streets, the blocks, the state lines, and the big ponds.
	Are you ready?
	On the count of three, turd stock, give me freedom.
	Say one, two, three.
	Freedom.
	Drink it down, Patriots.
	Drink it down.
	Cheers.
	How about we sing a song together one time?
	I bet Cat Turd knows this song too.
	This is a song we all learned when we were little kids, growing up in this great country, kindergarten, first grade.
	I promise you, back then anyway, you learned this song.
	Let's see if you remember it.
	Sing God bless America Land that I love Stand beside her And guide her.
	Come on!
	Through the night with the light from above.
	Let me hear you!
	From the mountain, to the prairie, to the ocean, white with foam.
	Sing it, Jimmy!
	Sing!
	God bless America, my home sweet home.
	Come on, church duck.
	God bless America.
	My home sweet home Put your hands together for America one time Right here at the Redneck Rivia with Big Kenny So Kenny, we can sing whatever we want to up here, right?
	We can sing whatever we want to.
	That's okay?
	What do you feel like doing, Ken?
	How about one of the craziest songs we've ever written?
	I'm sorry, what'd you say in the microphone?
	I said, how about we do one of the craziest songs we've ever written?
	Okay.
	That could be several, but which one are you talking about?
	It's historical and historical, and it's called Pocket.
	Oh, In My Pocket?
	Oh, I love that one.
	Y'all will probably catch right on to it if you do feel free to sing along.
	Okay.
	In my pocket, my pocket, my pocket I've got a little rocket, a rocket, a rocket I took it and I lit it, I lit it, I lit it And now I'm gonna fly it to the moon In my pocket,
	my pocket, my pocket I've got a little rocket, a rocket, a rocket I took it and I lit it, I lit it, I lit it And now I'm gonna fly it to the moon With you No matter how hard I try I can never Remember
	every word in the dictionary But I've got a friend who can You ought to call him Superman.
	I just call him my buddy and sometimes we drink beer.
	I never told you I could walk on water, walk on water.
	But if you've got a quarter, friend, you know I'll give it a try.
	And if you want to, you can take my hand.
	Oh, you can take my hand.
	Yeah, I bet you can.
	See, you can walk on water with me.
	And if you've got a candy machine Won't you make something sweet and good?
	Like they do out in Hollywood Or maybe we could rent a penthouse suite It don't matter if we got no money It don't cost nothing to dream I never told you I could walk on water If you got a quarter Friends,
	you know I'll give it a try And if you want to, you can take my hand Oh, you can take my hand Yeah, I bet you can See,
	you can walk on water with me I ain't never gonna be afraid To say what I want to say Even if it sounds a little crazy Crazy like cat turd!
	Crazy!
	In my pocket, my pocket, my pocket, I've got a little rocket, a rocket, a rocket.
	I took it and I lit it, I lit it, I lit it, and now I'm gonna fly it to the moon.
	Sing it with us.
	In my pocket, my pocket, my pocket, I've got a little rocket, a rocket, a rocket.
	I took it and I lit it, I lit it, I lit it, and now I'm gonna fly it to the moon.
	I'm not.
	More with you.
	Are you having a good time so far?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Got my rocket parked out back.
	Anybody who wants to take a flight later on, we're going.
	Kenny?
	Tell the folks where you come from and what makes up a Big Kenny anyway, because you're the only one of you I've ever met.
	Would you like to hear this guy's story for a second?
	It's pretty interesting.
	Big Kenny at Turdstock.
	I mean, that's like two made-up things together.
	But they're both totally real.
	Yeah, yeah, I'm real.
	Believe it or not.
	Believe it.
	Hey, yeah, so my name is William Kenneth Alfin, a.k.a.
	Big Kenny.
	I'm a farm boy from Culpeper, Virginia.
	We today still raise cattle there and have an event space now.
	We do weddings also on our farm.
	That's seven generations of farm there.
	My father, his father before him, all those.
	The house I was raised in was actually built before the American Revolution.
	Wow.
	My father was one of six brothers, nine total children.
	Five of them served in the U.S. military.
	My older uncle, Thomas, was blowed up in half-track in World War II. My dad, by the time he came out, he came out of Korea.
	He was the youngest, the last one.
	To this day, we're still trying to operate and carry on that legacy.
	Back in the mid-'90s, I realized that there might be some other thing that I was supposed to be doing in life besides having My arm up a cow delivering a calf.
	Although I'm your man if you need somebody to do your cattle work.
	But the fact that Big Kenny had to stick his arm up a cow's ass prepared him for the music business, ladies and gentlemen.
	He totally knew what to expect.
	Just on the other end, but you know.
	So little did I know how well I was being prepared to come to Nashville, Tennessee.
	They just don't wear the glove, but hey.
	So in the mid-'90s, you know, I came to Nashville and, you know, just started like everyone else.
	You know, you just show up at a club somewhere and see if you can get up and play a song, and next thing you know, you're writing songs every day.
	Next thing you know, 1998 rolls around, you're running this guy named John Rich.
	Can everybody make some noise?
	From Amarillo, Texas, my brother from another mother, make some noise for John Richa!
	The original cowboy Stevie Wonder!
	We started doing this little thing around that time called the Music Mafia.
	That kind of blew up quite a few artists.
	Gretchen Wilson also being one of those here that day.
	And you all probably recall us coming out right around 2004 when we were out on tour with Tim McGraw and our second single came out and then things just kind of the world lifted wide open.
	That horse was called Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.
	On Horse of a Different Color, that album, Horse of a Different Color.
	So, yeah, man, you know, I'm a family guy now.
	I got kids.
	You know, I love my family, love my wife, love all my friends.
	I love this from sea to shining sea.
	I love the country that I live in.
	I highly believe in creation over destruction.
	I highly believe in creation over destruction.
	I believe we can all have this ability to lift each other up in such a great way, man.
	And I just hate to see anything that tears anybody down in any way, shape, or form.
	I don't care wherever they are.
	Because you love everybody.
	In God's eyes, we're supposed to love one another, and that's it.
	So, you know, I'm as protective of all the things around me as the next guy.
	But, you know, the first thing I'm going to do is try to put forth as positive as I can into the world.
	So there you have it.
	Don't you love this guy?
	That's Big Kenny.
	See?
	He never gets to tell the whole story.
	Yeah, so that's a little bit of it.
	You remember that one night I kissed you right on the lips?
	I remember.
	Neither do I. No.
	What do you want to hit them with, Ken?
	I'll tell you what, can I make a Big Kenny request?
	Because this is one of the best songwriters ever walked through Nashville.
	Standing to my right.
	And he's got hundreds of songs that you've never heard.
	And since this is live streaming, by the way, thank you to all of our folks watching live stream right now.
	If you're watching on this, post this link forward and say, you guys are missing a show, man.
	Big and rich.
	Post the link.
	Send it forward.
	All right.
	Big Kenny, I would like to hear your song called Bob.
	It's called Bob.
	This is a song that we sing on the bus late at night, sometimes after the show.
	And I find it to be profound.
	Can you play us some Bob?
	Here's profound for you.
	And by the way, this was recorded by the man himself, Willie Nelson.
	Well, I once knew a pirate named Bob.
	Thank you.
	B.O.B. Bob was a drunken old slob.
	B.O.B. Bob, about as dumb as a rock.
	But Bob, he made it to the top.
	He said, you swing from your tree and I'll swing from mine.
	You have your lemons and I'll have my life.
	It's funny we all act like monkeys sometimes.
	You swing from your tree and I'll swing from mine.
	I'll swing from mine.
	I said I'd rather make love than war.
	And I'd rather make millions than to ever be poor.
	But I'd rather be happy than to have any more.
	Guess I'm a little tangled in the vine.
	Yeah, you swing from your tree and I'll swing from mine.
	You have your lemons and I'll have my love.
	It's funny we all act like monkeys sometimes.
	You swing from your tree and I'll swing from mine.
	I'll swing from mine.
	Go Big Kenny!
	He said, you have your lemons and I'll have my lime.
	You drink your whiskey and I'll sip my wine.
	Oh, you save your dollar and I'll spend my dime.
	And we'll all be happy sometime.
	Happy sometime.
	Yeah, you swing from your tree and I'll swing from mine.
	You have your lemons and I'll have my limes It's funny we all act like monkeys sometimes You swing from your tree and I'll swing from mine I'll swing from mine I'll swing from mine That's
	pretty good, huh?
	And that's the story about a fella named Bob.
	What do you think, Cat Turd?
	Do you like Bob?
	Thumbs up from Cat?
	You are Bob, man.
	You're Bob.
	Bob, it's a palindrome, man.
	Absolutely.
	Let's do one more song.
	We've got a lot of talent coming up on this live stream.
	Listen, we've got Hall of Fame, not Hall of Fame level, Hall of Famers that are coming up on this stage.
	Songwriting Hall of Fame, Country Music Hall of Fame, like some massive talent.
	That nobody ever gets to see coming up here on the stage at the Redneck Riviera.
	But before we bring them up, we gotta play one more Big Kenny and I gotta ask, where are all the country girls at the Redneck Riviera right now?
	See if you know this one.
	One, three, four.
	Oh yeah.
	Yeah, when I walk into the room, passing out hundred dollar bills, and it kills and it thrills, like the horns on my Silverado grill.
	High five the bar, triple round the crown, everybody's gettin' down in this town.
	What?
	It ain't never gonna be the same.
	Y'all sing it Cause I sad love my horse As I ride into the city I make a lot of noise Cause the girls they are so pretty Be riding up and down Broadway With my old stud Leroy And the girls say Save a horse ride a cowboy Everybody say, save us, ride a cowboy.
	Well, I don't give a damn about nothin'.
	I'm singin' and bling-blingin' while the girls singin' girls long next down.
	And I wouldn't trade old Leroy on my Chevrolet or your Escalade or your freak parade.
	I'm the only John Wayne left in this town.
	And I'm sad to love my own.
	And I ride into the city.
	I make a lot of noise cause the girls, they are so pretty.
	I'll be riding up and down Broadway, my old stud Leroy.
	And the girls say, save us, ride a cowboy.
	Everybody say, save us, ride a cowboy.
	I'll give it up for Big Kenny one time up in the redneck with you.
	What you got, son?
	Well, I'm a thoroughbred, that's what she said, in the back of our truck bed as I was getting bubbles on suds out on some backcountry road.
	Oh, we were flying high, flying as wine, having ourselves the biggest time.
	And I was going about as far as she let me go.
	Get your hands up!
	Come on!
	But her evaluation of my cowboy reputation had me begging for salvation all night long.
	Get him up!
	Well, I took her out gigging frogs, introduced her to my old bird dog.
	I sang her every Willie Nelson song, I could thank y'all.
	And we made love, and I sat in love with my old.
	And I ride into the city.
	I make a lot of noise, cause the girls, they are so pretty.
	I be riding up and down Broadway, my old stud Leroy.
	And the girls say, say, oh, let's ride a cowboy.
	Everybody sing.
	Save us, Ryder Cowboy.
	What?
	What?
	Save us, Ryder Cowboy.
	Last time, everybody sing it.
	Save us, Ryder Cowboy.
	We're Big and Rich at Church Talk!
	Mr.
	Big Kenny!
	Mr.
	John Richa!
	God bless y'all.
	Thank you, Big Kenny.
	You ready to keep the music rolling here for a minute?
	We gotta keep this going.
	You having fun so far?
	I gotta get Cat Turd back up on the stage.
	Come on up back up here, Cat Turd.
	Come on up.
	Come on up, Cat Turd.
	Now, for folks who are just turning in to this live stream and you haven't seen Cat Turd yet because nobody's ever seen the man, the myth, or the legend, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Redneck Riviera stage.
	Cat Turd!
	Hey, hey, hey, hey.
	Which mic do I use?
	How y'all doing tonight?
	Who wants to do a shot with me?
	Shot?
	So, Cat.
	Yes?
	People don't know this about you, not many people know this, but you're a musician.
	I am.
	You played music up and down the Redneck Riviera, the actual geographical, if there is such a thing, and there is, the Redneck Riviera, so Panama City Beach and Gulf Shores and Destin and up down through there.
	You played some of the best jamming southern rock, slammed into jazz kind of stuff.
	A great guitar player, y'all.
	This guy's an actual straight-up musician.
	Woo!
	Come on now, y'all can get louder than that.
	Yeah.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	And that's why we wanted to do something musical, because just tell us for a minute, Cat, how do you feel every day being Cat Turd and dealing with the nonsense that you've got to talk about, man?
	I mean, does it wear you out?
	Yeah.
	The fact I'm sitting up here with you right now is nuts.
	I also want a big shout out to my co-host on my podcast, Jules!
	Let's go!
	Come on!
	She's out in Hollyweird right now.
	So, let's really, you know, a big shout out to Jules.
	And she's live streaming this.
	She's behind the scenes right now.
	And do you listen to In the Little Box?
	All right.
	What'd you say?
	I love you, too!
	Hey, I came here, you know, I'm a Florida boy, but I decided when in Rome, you know, you gotta look like a country.
	I'm gonna come up here with John Rich, I'm gonna look country.
	End of story.
	I think he looks hot.
	Ladies, do you think he looks hot?
	I said you look like Charlie Daniels' long-lost nephew, man.
	Pretty badass.
	So I brought some special guests for you, Kat, for Turdstock.
	This next guy is in the Country Songwriters Hall of Fame.
	Wow.
	That's a big damn deal.
	In a town that is built on songwriters, there's tens of thousands of people in this town that call themselves songwriters.
	There's a ton of great ones.
	This guy's in the Hall of Fame.
	He follows you on Truth and he follows you on Twitter.
	Wow.
	And I called him up and I said, would you mind doing a few songs for Turdstock?
	And he goes, hell yeah, I'll be there.
	So, this boy, originally from California, back when California was great, back in the day.
	Yeah, we got another California man back there.
	He comes from the old California.
	Been in Nashville a long time.
	Ladies and gentlemen, This is one of the most talented human beings, not only that walked through Nashville, that ever walked.
	And you're about to see what I'm talking about.
	Welcome to the stage, Hall of Fame songwriter and extraordinary patriot, Mr.
	Jeffrey Steele.
	Put your hand up.
	Thank you, my old friend, John Rich.
	Amen.
	Jeffrey Steele.
	Hi, buddy.
	Good to see you, man.
	Thank you for being here.
	Thank you for everything that you say, my friend.
	I am a world-famous Hall of Fame songwriter, which means you have no idea who the hell I am and probably don't give a shit.
	That's all right.
	I don't care.
	You got me in there?
	Oh, yeah.
	I washed my guitar this morning and put it in a dryer.
	I didn't.
	The preacher man said it's the end of time.
	In the Mississippi River, she's going dry.
	The interest rates up and the stock market's down, and you're gonna get mugged if you go downtown. and you're gonna get mugged if you go downtown.
	But I live back in the woods, you see?
	The woman and the kids and the...
	I said the woman and the kids and the...
	The woman and the kids and the...
	Dogs and me.
	I got a shotgun, a rifle and a four-wheel drive and a country boy can survive.
	And a country girl can survive too.
	Country folk can survive.
	Country boy can survive.
	Woo!
	I wrote this song back in 2015.
	Everybody looked at me like I had three heads, which is usually what happens when I write a song.
	But I was looking at the world back then and going, what the hell is going on?
	And nobody would touch this song.
	I said, no one's ever going to record this song.
	And then we got to 2020, and the shit really went down, right?
	And I get a call one day.
	You know how you have an iPhone and you don't know who it is and it says maybe?
	I always get one that says maybe John Rich.
	I'm like, oh, it's John Rich calling.
	But it said maybe Eric Church.
	And it was five years after I wrote this song and he called me up and said, hey man, I'm cutting that song you wrote.
	I'd like to play for you right now.
	You ready?
	You ready?
	Come on!
	Hey, that's not even part of the song.
	That was free.
	Take me on up to Detroit City.
	Jails are full and the factory's empty.
	Mama's crying, young boy's dying under that red, white, and blue.
	Still flying.
	Drop me off in Baltimore, where every other window's got a plywood board.
	And dreams become drugs and guns, and the only way out is to shoot or run.
	Yeah.
	Stick that in your country.
	zone.
	Take that one to number one and get the whole world singing along.
	Stick that in your country zone Sing about the man coming back from war Twenty-three going on fifty-four.
	He lost a friend beside his hand.
	Got a baby girl he'll never see again.
	Stick that in your country song.
	Take that one to number one.
	And get the whole world singing along, y'all.
	Stick that in your country song Oh Light the arrow, pull the bow Shoot that fire right through my soul Hit my pry, fist up high Wanna feel the rush, wanna feel alive Come on, I wanna pound the dash
	Stop the gas, drive too fast Lock me hard stop my heart And blow the speakers right Blow the speakers right Out of this car Stick that in your country song.
	Take that one to number one.
	And get the whole world singing along, y'all Stick that in your country song . . y'all Stick that in your country song . .
	. .
	.
	And give me one about a teacher who's Trying to change a life or two She'll be rocking out all night with you.
	Tomorrow she'll be back in that red brick school where the kids are climbing off the walls.
	It's scary walking down the hall.
	She's underpaid.
	She's overworked.
	Come on!
	Shout one out to her.
	Step down in your country song.
	Take that one to number one.
	And get the whole world.
	Get the whole world.
	Get the whole world singing along Stick that in your country song Take that one to number one Get the whole world singing along Stick that in your country song Hey!
	Hey, Aaron's not coming, right?
	Okay, just play the song.
	I didn't know.
	Okay, I wrote this song.
	I got this phone call in April.
	I think it was, I guess it must have been 2021.
	And it was from Ira Dean.
	Anybody know Ira Dean, the band Trick Pony?
	No.
	Great guy.
	And it was my day off that day, and he called me up and said, Steele, we've got to write a song today.
	I said, man, it's my day off.
	I've been writing 10 days straight.
	I'm taking the day off.
	He goes, I'm getting together with Aaron Lewis today.
	I'm like, oh, shit.
	All right, you guys got any good ideas?
	He goes, yeah, I got a pretty good one.
	So I said, okay, I'll come over.
	So I went over there.
	And we started talking.
	And I know Aaron.
	I was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2013.
	Quick music business story.
	I wrote a lot of songs for Rascal Flatts.
	But they weren't around to come and sing my song when I got inducted.
	So I called Aaron Lewis and he came and sang What Hurts the Most when I got inducted.
	It was the coolest thing ever and he killed it.
	We've been friends ever since then.
	So we got together.
	We started writing a song, and it was really crappy.
	And we all knew we were writing a crappy song.
	And so I went out into the backyard at Aaron's house, and I was walking around in his backyard.
	I'm looking at my phone.
	You know, I got all my shits on my phone.
	I stumbled on this line that I had.
	And Aaron wanted to write a song for his fans.
	He goes, I'm not trying to write a hit song.
	I'm just trying to write a song for my fans.
	My fans love America.
	My fans love Donald Trump.
	My fans know that My fans know he is the last stand we have against all of this crap.
	So I told him this title that I had, and he just kept saying, I want to sing it to my fans.
	Thank you.
	Because they feel the same way I do.
	So I told him my title, and he looked at me, and his eyes lit up.
	He goes, alright, this other piece of shit, we're done with this.
	And we wrote this song.
	And I'll never forget, Ira was on the row with him, and Ira called him up, or called me up, and said, Oh my God, Steele, he's playing the song.
	He doesn't even know the words yet.
	He's got them on a stool, and he's singing it, and the crowd's on their feet singing along.
	I went out and bought a jet ski that day.
	Am I the only one here tonight Shaking his hair thinking something ain't right Is it just me?
	Am I losing my mind?
	Am I standing on the edge of the end of time?
	Am I the only one?
	Please tell me I'm not.
	Who thinks they're taking all the good we got?
	And turning it back.
	Well, I'll be damned.
	I think I'm turning into my old man.
	Am I the only one willing to bleed?
	Take a bullet for being free.
	Screaming what the fuck at my TV Telling me Are you telling me Am I the only one Willing to fight For my love of the red and white And the blue Burning on the ground Another statue coming down In a town near you Watching the threads of old glory
	Come undone Am I the only one Ain't brainwashed Making his way Through the land of the lost Still gives a shit and worries about his kids while they try to undo all the things Trump did.
	Am I the only one?
	Can't take no more screaming.
	If you don't like it, there's the fucking door.
	This ain't the freedom we were fighting for.
	It was something more.
	It was something more.
	Am I the only one willing to fight for my love of the red and white and the blue burning on the ground?
	Another statue coming down in a town near you Watching the threads of all glory come on down I'm not the only one Oh, yeah.
	I can't be the only one.
	Am I the only one who quits singing along every time they play a Springsteen song?
	I can't be the only one.
	Am I the only one still sitting here, still holding on, holding back my tears for the ones who paid?
	With the lives they gave, God bless the USA. I'm not the only one willing to fight for my love of the red and white and the blue.
	Burning on the ground, another statue coming down in a town, dare you?
	Watching the threads of all glory come on down.
	I'm not the only one.
	Can't be the only one I'm not the only one
	All right.
	You want to hear one you know or what do you want to hear?
	Okay, are you guys okay right now?
	I'm not sure I'm okay.
	I'm not sure Cat Turd's okay, because the way this man writes and the way he sings will rattle you down to your American bones.
	Huh?
	Jeffrey.
	Yes, sir.
	Man, you've been in this town a long time.
	You've lived in different places.
	Before you sing the next song, you're a poet, man.
	Give us your thoughts on your family, the country, how you feel every morning when you wake up, and lastly, why are songs important to this situation?
	Can he just talk for a minute because this guy is something else.
	Jeffrey Steele, y'all.
	Thanks, John.
	And I love John.
	John has saved my life.
	I don't know if he knows or not, but he's saved my life about ten times.
	He's talking about family.
	We lost our youngest son when he was 13 years old in an accident.
	It's been 15 years now.
	When I was in the depths of my...
	Bottle in my mouth and gun to my head phase.
	I guess you can call it that.
	He called me up and made me come do this TV show with him.
	When was that?
	Like 2007 or 8?
	It was like right after my boy died.
	I was like, dude, I can't do that.
	I can't do this.
	I need to get out of this shit for a while.
	And he goes, you got to do it.
	You need to do it.
	You've got to do it.
	And he kept pulling me, and I did it.
	And it was like first step of just, you know, you lose a child.
	It's like losing your arms and your legs, and everybody telling you to go run the race.
	And you're like, I can't.
	He goes, no, you have to.
	I can't.
	It's like, you have to.
	And so I never forgot that.
	And I love you to the core of...
	And then through the years, through the years, every time I'm...
	Every time something's going on or I'm feeling low, I don't know what to do.
	I'll somehow get a text from John.
	I don't know if there's God working through him.
	I swear to God, it's like, Jeff, you want to do the blah, blah, blah?
	I'm like, shit, I can't believe he called me.
	I was having a worse day.
	But all that to say, God told me to take your worst crap and you just go make it good for everybody that you get in front of.
	Because that's what your life is.
	It's all your life is.
	Trying to make it good for everybody else around you and trying to be true to who you are.
	And my family went through a complete...
	You know, demolition, as people know, who've lost people, right?
	So I had to somehow figure out what that was.
	And I think it was really just because of John and a few other people that pointed.
	I started this charity.
	My whole life started changing.
	New people started to come into my life.
	And God is so great.
	God is so great.
	And then just the last part of the question about the songs...
	Every one of these...
	Can I cuss on TV? Every one of these fucking rock stars.
	Every one of these fucking rock stars.
	Rage against the machine.
	Are you shitting me?
	No, they're not raging against the machine.
	They're walking hand in hand with Joe Biden.
	Put on your mask, pay us $500 and come to our show and make sure you got a fucking vax.
	Fuck you!
	And I don't care who likes them.
	The Foo Fighters and Neil Young and Bruce Springsteen, they were supposed to be the counterculture.
	They were supposed to be against the man, and they're walking with the man now.
	I can go all day.
	But I love singing songs.
	I'm going to sing this for John.
	Music by Ben Thede I wrote this song for my dad.
	I grew up, y'all, in Hollywood, California.
	In the 60s.
	Ronald Reagan was the governor.
	My dad was a hardcore man.
	He was a paratrooper in World War II. He was hardcore.
	And I met my girl out there on the Sunset Strip playing in a Led Zeppelin cover band.
	And we're still married 43 years later.
	We raised four kids and we got three grandkids.
	I told you we lost our youngest son.
	I wrote this song about my daddy because my daddy was a machinist.
	He cut metal.
	My real name is not steel.
	It's made up.
	My real name is not steel, but let me tell you this.
	My dad cut steel for a living.
	So when he passed away, I wanted to honor what he did because he worked his ass off his whole life.
	And like we do!
	Like you posted up something about the people who just want to be left alone and live free.
	John, right?
	And it's true.
	Leave us alone.
	Don't get us angry.
	Don't get us angry, man.
	Do what you want, but leave us alone, man.
	We're good.
	So my dad fired me.
	I worked for my dad, and he fired me.
	I said, you can't fire me.
	I'm your son.
	He goes, you're going to cut them fingers off on that machine.
	You're not going to be able to play that guitar.
	And my dad always wanted to be a singer-songwriter.
	His stage name was Johnny Blackfoot.
	I swear to God, that was his stage name.
	And he sent me.
	He fired me, and I went off into the world, and I joined him.
	I said, all right, screw you, Dad.
	I'm leaving.
	I was so pissed at him, and I left.
	And I grew up in that era, you know.
	I grew up like in the early 70s, you know.
	Down around the corner, half a mile from here, see those long trains run, and watch them disappear without love.
	Where would you be now?
	Without love.
	Can't hear ya!
	Without love Ooh Where would you be now?
	guitar solo So I always had a thing for an E minor.
	I don't know why.
	I love that chord.
	So anyway, my dad fired me and there I was.
	I was out on the road for two years.
	My dad got sick.
	He got cancer and then he died.
	I was even more pissed at him because I missed him for two years of his last two years of his life.
	So I wrote this song about him years later, and then my boy passed away, and this song came back to me.
	It became my song to sing to myself every night and heal me, and it's healed a lot of people in the world.
	So I'm going to sing it to you tonight.
	I don't mean it to be sad, but it's the saddest song ever written.
	Unless you're singing it to somebody you love and miss.
	guitar solo
	. . . .
	I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house That don't bother me I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while Even love going on with you gone still upsets me There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay But that's not what gets me What
	What hurts the most is being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away.
	And never knowing what could have been.
	And not seeing that love in you is what I was trying to do.
	It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go.
	But I'm dying.
	We're doing it.
	Hard to force that smile when I see our own friends and I'm alone.
	Still harder, getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret.
	But I know if I could do it over, I would trade, give away all the words that I say in my heart that I left unspoken.
	What hurts the most Is being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that love in you Is what I was trying to do,
	Anybody do it?
	.
	I can take the rain on the roof of this.
	I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out.
	I'm not a every once, even though with you gone still upsets me.
	There are days every now and again.
	I pretend I'm okay, but that's not what gets me.
	Come on, y'all.
	guitar solo
	guitar solo What hurts the most guitar solo Was being so close And having so much to say
	And watching you walk away And never knowing What What could have been, could have been, should have been.
	And not seeing that love in you is what I was trying to do.
	What hurts the most.
	Yeah, yeah, let me do it.
	Let me do it.
	What do you think about Jeffrey Steele so far on Turdstock 23?
	Put that camera on Cat for a minute.
	Cat Turd, what you think about Jeffrey Steele, man?
	Thumbs up, thumbs down.
	What you think?
	He said he's about to cry.
	It's so good.
	He's a freak of nature.
	Yes, he is.
	Listen.
	When other people do live streams, well, some of them are okay, some of them not so much.
	This might be the best live stream of the entire year.
	And we're glad you tuned in.
	If you're watching this live stream right now, if you're watching this, post this link, copy and paste that link, stick it on your social media, build this crowd up, man.
	All of America's watching right now.
	Some great things happening.
	I think Jeffrey's got a little more lung power.
	Maybe one more song from Jeffrey.
	Would you like one more out of this man?
	Come on.
	Ladies and gentlemen, Hall of Fame songwriter, Mr.
	Jeffrey Steele.
	I'll tell you, cat turd.
	Cat turd!
	Lord, it's life-changing.
	It's life-changing, man.
	The turn is loose.
	The turn is loose.
	But it really is, man.
	It's just...
	You just keep coming with...
	It's just the truth!
	Yes!
	Right?
	It's just the truth.
	And it's the same with John.
	It's the same with you.
	It's just the fucking truth.
	And why is that so hard for people to understand?
	It's like, you can't do that.
	You know, like, you gotta do it.
	It's just some certain things you gotta do.
	I put up this meme the other day.
	I said, you're either a sheepdog or you're a sheep.
	Right?
	You're either a sheepdog or you're a damn sheep and you're following the damn...
	Okay, so anyway, enough of that.
	Good Lord.
	Thank you, buddy.
	But that song, that last song, everybody in Nashville told me that it would never get played on the radio because it was too slow, it was too sad, and it was too long.
	Hang on a minute.
	Hang on a minute.
	Okay.
	Are you trying to tell me that the music industry doesn't know what in the hell they're doing?
	Is that a nice way of saying that?
	Thank God the artists determine what music comes out ultimately and not the industry.
	Hey Jeffrey, I'll tell you another act that the music industry said would never come out.
	A little act called Big and Rich.
	I was there, and when it did, boy, and it blew sideways, and everybody was like, oh, we love those guys.
	Oh, we've always loved John Rich.
	But John Rich has always been John Rich.
	I can tell you that right now.
	I've known him since 90.
	90, 91, 90-something.
	Early 90s.
	We go back a long ass way.
	But that's the thing.
	They're always trying to shape you and they're telling you how to do it.
	And I started to realize that when people told me my song sucked, I said, that's going to be a number one song.
	I'm just going to have to wait until the time catches up.
	But when they told me that the song sucked, I knew it was number one.
	But what hurts the most, everybody criticized that song for nine years, and then Rascal Flatts found it.
	It was a song of the year, the year that it came out.
	And I got to tell you this quick little full life circle story.
	That year, it made me the songwriter of the year, which is like winning the Super Bowl.
	Right?
	You've been there.
	It's like you're winning the Super Bowl.
	So I get to go get this big crystal phallic trophy they give you for winning.
	And that year, Dolly Parton was getting inducted as the music icon of the century.
	And they gave her like a silver spittoon that said icon on it.
	So I'm on stage with Dolly Parton.
	Let me tell you the story.
	My dad's favorite singer.
	My dad had passed on, never got to see me chase my dreams.
	He died in 87.
	And he was a very young man.
	And I was just laughing.
	I go, oh my God.
	I'm like, oh my God.
	Who else could it be but Dolly Parton all these years later?
	And I'm standing next to Dolly and I've got my rented tuxedo on.
	It was brown.
	It was an old one, and the lining was ripped in the coat.
	So I got my arm around Dolly, and the photographer's going, Jeff, you've got to take your arm off of Dolly.
	It's like your lining's hanging out of your coat.
	It just looks terrible.
	I'm like, I'm not taking my arm off of Dolly Parton.
	And the first thing Dolly said to me, she looks up to me.
	She goes, Jeffrey.
	And I looked down, I said, yes, Ms.
	Parton.
	She goes, you know, if you just slide your hand down the backside of my dress, your coat won't do that.
	Hello. - Hello.
	So the next day in the black and white picture in the newspaper, they had a picture of us in the newspaper, you could see the red in my face.
	I was back there squeezing on her ass.
	But I could see my dad laughing, you know.
	And then, like, they were taking a bunch of pictures of us, and we had to get out of there.
	And finally, she looks at me again.
	She's got this big silver bucket, and I got this big phallic crystal trophy.
	And she looks at me.
	She goes, Jeffrey?
	I say, yes, Miss Parton.
	She goes, you want to stick that trophy in my bucket?
	All right, let me get out of here.
	I go, I wrote this song a long time ago for a couple of hillbillies from Kentucky called Montgomery Gentry and her...
	And they came to me at a time in my life when everybody was just, like I said, criticizing my songs and they loved them.
	And started recording a bunch of them and ended up producing a bunch of records on them and stuff.
	But this particular song, I wrote this song in October of 2001, so about a month after 9-11.
	The planes were starting to get back up in the sky again and we were in Durango, Colorado.
	Me and my buddy Reed Nielsen, who's passed away, and I'd like to send this out to him today because he was a songwriter that taught me a lot about writing songs.
	Also to T. Roy Gentry, who's passed away.
	What a great guy.
	So I was in Durango, Colorado at a music festival with my buddy Reed, and we were getting ready to write a song.
	I took out my guitar.
	It was right after 9-11.
	And he asked me about my rental car drive from Albuquerque to Durango.
	I said, well, you know, it's Albuquerque to Durango.
	It's a white church steeple.
	It's a pale blue water tower.
	It's a red rusty tractor for sale.
	He goes, bro, it's America.
	I said, yeah, it's America.
	It's America.
	And then I take out my guitar, you know.
	And whenever I take out my guitar, I go like this.
	Just check my tuning, you know.
	Like right now.
	And he asked me what I'm playing.
	I said, I'm just tuning my guitar.
	He goes, you're tuning your guitar?
	I said, yeah.
	He goes, play that like you're playing a banjo.
	Like that?
	He's like, yeah.
	And we wrote a song about my rental car drive from Albuquerque to Durango one month after 9-11.
	There's a for sale sign on a big old rusty tractor.
	You can't miss it.
	It's the first thing that you see.
	Just up the road, a pale blue water tower.
	When I love Jenny painted in bright green Hey, that's my Uncle Ray there by the courthouse And he'll be lowering the flag when the sun goes down And this is my town Yeah, where I was born, where I was raised, where I keep all my yesterdays, my town.
	Where I ran off, cause I got mad when it came to blows with my old man, this is my town.
	But I came back to settle down, and it's where they'll put me in the ground.
	My town.
	Well, there ain't much going on here since they closed the mill.
	But that whistle still blows every day at noon.
	And there's a bunch of us still going down to the diner And wondering if that interstate's still coming through But come Sunday morning service at the Church of Christ Well, there ain't an empty sea to be found And this is my town!
	Yeah, where I was born, where I was raised Where I keep all my yesterdays, my town Where I ran off cause I got mad When it came to blows with my old man, my town But I came back to settle down.
	It's where they'll put me in the ground My pal Woo!
	Woo!
	Hey, I bought and painted up that rusty tractor You can't miss it, sitting right there in our yard.
	The county came and they took that water tower.
	That's my Jenny with the babies in the car.
	And we're off to Sunday service at the Church of Christ.
	And if we want a seat, we'd better leave right now.
	Maybe later, me and John Rich and Cat Turd, we'll show you around.
	My town!
	Yeah, where I was born, where I was raised, where I keep all my yesterdays, my town.
	Where I ran off cause I got mad when it came to blows with my old man.
	This is my town.
	But I came back to settle down.
	It's where they'll put me in the grave.
	My town.
	My town.
	This is my town.
	Thank y'all.
	Thank you, John.
	Thank you, Cat Turd.
	Jeffrey Steele, put your hands up for this boy.
	Thank y'all very much.
	Thank you, John Rich.
	Thank you, Cat Turd.
	First annual.
	Way to go.
	See y'all.
	How y'all feeling so far?
	Let me hear you one time from the Redneck Riviera, yeah?
	Good Lord.
	I'm not sure there's another human walking around with that much talent per square inch anywhere in our country today.
	Let Jeffrey Steele hear you one more time, folks.
	Come on.
	So for all you aspiring songwriters out there, if you want to be in the Songwriters Hall of Fame, all you have if you want to be in the Songwriters Hall of Fame, all you have That's it.
	Simple.
	You just have to be a walking, talking monster.
	That's all.
	For everyone tuning in to Turdstock 23 Live, thank you all for tuning in.
	If you're watching and you think your friends might want to see what's coming next, copy and paste that link, put it on your social media, tell everybody to join in because we got more talent coming up.
	It's quite an honor, I got to tell you, to have this kind of talent on the stage.
	Cat Turd and I became friends during the shutdowns during 2020.
	I started following him and he followed me and we started talking and Cat Turd says, you know, the country's so crazy these days, everything's just negative, negative all the time.
	We need to do something positive for people to look at for a minute.
	I said, I totally agree.
	What do you think it ought to be?
	He goes, how about we come to Nashville and just make a bunch of music and tell everybody to forget about it for a minute, I said.
	You got a deal, son.
	You got a deal.
	How are we doing so far?
	Have you forgot about your problems for a minute?
	I know I have.
	Alright.
	This next gentleman coming up here is different than anything you've ever seen.
	And I mean that to all the folks watching on the live stream.
	You will not find somebody that looks like this guy, sounds like this guy, or writes a song like this guy.
	Big Kenny and I became fans of his early on.
	I think before we met a record deal, we heard this guy on the radio station one afternoon in Nashville.
	And when they said the name of the singer, they said, this is Angie Aparo.
	And I said, wow, that girl really sings her ass off.
	She's good.
	So I went, this is back when we still had record stores.
	We had Tower Records here in Nashville.
	Anybody remember ever actually buying a record?
	Those were the days.
	Those were the days.
	So I went to the Tower Records store.
	And I told the guy, I said, yeah, I'm looking for this female singer, Angie Apero.
	He goes, oh, that's not a female.
	That's a guy.
	That's a man.
	I said, ain't no way.
	Sings too high.
	No.
	No, it is.
	That's a man.
	I said, really?
	I said, yes.
	And here's the record right here.
	And I bought this record.
	Called The American.
	That was his first record.
	And I played it in my truck nonstop.
	I sent it to Big Kenny.
	I sent it to my brother.
	I sent it to all my friends.
	And we became the biggest fans of this guy.
	Matter of fact, I'm such a big fan of his that in my will, in my will, it says, if this man outlives me, I want him to come sing Amazing Grace at my funeral.
	That's how much I think about his singing.
	Now, I don't know how to endorse somebody any stronger than that, okay?
	On top of that, about two years ago, this man had a break in his main artery going to his brain and he almost died.
	When he came to, they saved his life.
	He came to, he couldn't talk.
	And so, he started going to the grocery store and he said, John, I'd look at a bottle of ketchup and I couldn't say ketchup.
	I couldn't say it.
	But I could say, there's a bottle of ketchup.
	I could sing it.
	I'm going to buy some lettuce and some hamburger meat.
	So he would walk to the grocery store and sing what it is he wanted to buy, because that part of his brain was still working okay, and taught himself how to speak again, how to sing again.
	It's one of the most incredible things I've ever heard in my life, okay?
	I'm not sure he's from our planet, and by the time he finishes, you won't be sure either.
	This guy, listen, his talent is beyond anything I've ever seen.
	His voice moves you to a different place.
	And it's my honor to have him here at the Redneck Riviera for Turd Stock, Mr.
	Angie Aparo.
	Come on up, Angie.
	Come on up, son.
	applause Good to see you, my friend.
	You want to expound upon that story?
	Tell him about it.
	Well, when you have aphasia, my neurologist, he kind of didn't know me, but he heard I was a songwriter.
	And he said...
	The brain operates like it can operate in music as one of the only things that uptakes both sides of the brain, uses both sides of the brain, which is kind of amazing, why music can change the world, literally, and change people.
	So he said, look, I don't know if you can go and find anything you can look at that you might know the word to, like ketchup or whatever, and just put a melody to it.
	I think it helped me that we're songwriters, you know.
	There's a ketchup bottle, whatever.
	My melodies were terrible, but they got me back.
	It was crazy.
	It was like exponential.
	So I connected with Susan.
	I can't remember her last name now, but she's the original Siri voice on iPhone, right?
	So I was using iPhone.
	I was using her.
	I would try to write something, and I'd have her say it back to me so I could hear it.
	And it's crazy.
	She said Apple was sending her all these messages that all these stroke patients wanted to connect with her for Siri to help patients.
	So it was mostly a musical base.
	It affects your brain and how you look at words.
	And I think without that, it would have been years for me.
	Yeah.
	Let me ask you this.
	Can you say at this point, I love cat turd?
	Is that possible?
	Can you say I love cat turd?
	Well, what I figured out later is that I hate ketchup.
	Right.
	Alright, so we're going to get you hooked up here.
	We're going to let this rock.
	For all the folks out there tuning in across the country, we got tens of thousands of people watching right now.
	Thank you for tuning in.
	Spread this link to your friends.
	We got more music coming.
	This guy right here is like something you have never seen.
	Ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
	Angie Aparo.
	Well, how are you?
	Thank you.
	So this is crazy.
	I come from immigrant grandparents.
	So this is my grandfather's tag from World War I. So he died.
	It's kind of crazy because I didn't know they were around.
	So there's his name.
	Angie is a nickname for Angelo.
	His name is Angelo.
	So I find it fascinating that people that come from another world to come to our world, they'll fight for it because they know how important it is.
	So anyway, I'm going to sing this for him.
	For all of us, too.
	This is called Free Man.
	Free Man.
	Hey, wouldn't you want to know Everywhere that river flow to right now I can show you how
	Someday you might want to go Someday you might want to go
	you got nothing to show For all your pain For all your chains Well, I ain't saying no It's the only way But wouldn't you like to know How'd it feel to live like a free man To
	give when there's nothing in your hand And run like only the river can Like a free, like a free, Like a free man
	You've only so many roads to choose Sooner or later the ones you use They all look the same Yes, someday you might feel the need Someday we'll be able to find
	When you're tired of bleeding for someone else, you're gonna want it for yourself.
	Well, I ain't saying no, it's the only way.
	But wouldn't you like to know I'd feel too late?
	To give like a free man.
	To give when there's nothing in your hand.
	And run like only a river can.
	Like a free, like a free, like a free man Yeah Oh La la, la, la, la
	Yeah, I ain't sayin' no It's the only way.
	Oh, I ain't sayin' it's the only way.
	Oh, wouldn't you like to know how I feel to live like a free man To give when there's nothing in your hand And run like only the river can
	Like a free, like a free, like a free Thank
	you.
	Thank y'all so much.
	Thank you.
	I am an alien.
	Thank y'all so much.
	Good Lord.
	Cheers!
	Hell yeah, cheers.
	Thank you.
	Thank you, John.
	Thank you all.
	Thank you.
	Thank you for having me.
	Fucking Happy New Year for us.
	So I got a few songs.
	I mean, I have a weird career, to say the least.
	But I made a record a few years ago, and I'm going to play this song for you.
	It's sort of like I grew up in Florida.
	I know, it's just kind of an amazing...
	Hold on, got important stuff here.
	But it used to be where I could, you know, you could, I have three kids, you could send them out on a bicycle and they wouldn't be murdered going down the street.
	But it's a tough world right now.
	And so I grew up in a very safe place in the 70s and I lived in Central Florida.
	And me and my friend Phil, I'm sending this out to Phil, one of my best friends when we were growing up.
	So we were the bicycle kings.
	We rode through the orange groves and we had fun and it was a great time to be a child because you were free and safe.
	So this goes out to him.
	We were the bicycle kings Rolling on, rolling on falling leaves.
	We're swinging on, swinging on old, old trees.
	And with the crown of moss from our bicycle we tossed hallelujah and joy, hallelujah and joy to the world out there.
	In cathedral made of dirt and vine.
	With just two kids ruling the summertime.
	La la la la.
	Love.
	On a country road.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Where the wild would grow.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah There ain't no heavy load Your soul is like a stone God's rolling down a country road.
	Down a country road.
	Yeah, yeah We were a bicycle king In that old swimming pool down by the rotary
	We sailed a boat made of air and poetry And with the crown of balls from my bicycle We tossed hallelujah and joy
	hallelujah and joy To the world out there On a country road Yeah,
	yeah Where the wild would grow Your soul is like a stone.
	God's rolling down a country road.
	Down a country road.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Wee!
	Ba ba ba ba ba God got your soul in his pocket of time He rode you down the road down a country mile God got your soul in his pocket of time He rode you down the road down a country mile
	down a country road Down a country road Down a country road Thank
	y'all.
	Thank y'all so much.
	Thank you all so much.
	Have you shook hands and cats heard yet?
	What's that?
	I made him cry.
	Made me cry too.
	I know, it's weird.
	Strap.
	Oh God, it's terrible.
	So, can I ask you, nobody sings like you, so who were the people that you grew up listening to that influenced the way you sing, man?
	I have to know that.
	Van Morrison was one.
	And he's a fighter, man, for freedom.
	He's been bitched at left and right for fighting.
	But Van is a big influence on me.
	And then a lot of actually, believe it or not, female singers.
	Oh man, like a lot of jazz singers, there's just so many.
	There's too many to mention.
	But it is weird that I kind of had a falsetto and then I lost it back in the day.
	I kind of lost my voice back in the day.
	And I had no range.
	And it came back after years later.
	So I kind of found this other element that I just thought was really meaningful for me to communicate with music.
	But thank you, John.
	So I want to do, so this is what's crazy.
	Thank you all so much.
	So this is, I wrote this song a long time ago.
	It's called Child, You're the Revolution.
	And it's really, I thought I was writing it for like, you know, I was looking at what was happening in the Middle East.
	And this is 15 years ago.
	And I was thinking, like, you know, we really need to not just teach our children, but children around the world, like, how to not, you know, hate.
	But unfortunately, I think that has been indoctrinated into America, and I hate, it's terrible that I think this song actually is for America, too, unfortunately.
	So we've got to, like, clean it up.
	This is feeding back for you. This is feeding back for you.
	guitar solo
	.
	guitar solo
	mind tell it seems You're one of their kind And on your tongue They write the song Of your people Mother, tell me Is the love on my tongue?
	Mother, tell me Cause I'm the revolution Mother, tell me Are there wars to be won?
	Can you tell me Am I a child of the sun?
	The only one that rules the world Is every little boy or girl Child, you're the revolution Gonna bury your flags And all your religion
	It's a fucking drag To hear all your bitchin' When I was young Standing in the kitchen And all the hatred Mother, tell me Is the love on my tongue?
	Mother, tell me Cause I'm the revolution Mother, tell me Are there wars to be won?
	Can you tell me Am I a child of the sun?
	The only one that rules the world Is every little boy or girl?
	Child, you're the revolution Child, you are the revolution.
	Child, you're the revolution.
	Child, how your mother tell me is the love on my tongue.
	Mother, tell me, cause I'm the revolution.
	Mother, tell me, is the love of my tongue?
	Mother, tell me, cause I am the revolution.
	Mother, tell me, are there wars to be won?
	Can you tell me, am I a child of the sun?
	The only one that rules the world is every little boy and girl.
	Child, you're the revolution.
	I said, child, you're the revolution.
	I said, child, you're the revolution.
	Thank you all so much.
	Is it up high enough?
	I know, I'm so short.
	It's like I can sit on a stool and stand up at the same mic stand.
	Thank you all so much.
	Thank you, John, for having me.
	So much good to be here.
	How do y'all feel about Angie Aparo right now?
	And all the people watching on live stream, my phone's blowing up.
	They're saying, this Angie Aparo guy is unreal.
	I said, yeah, I tried to tell you.
	Tried to tell you.
	He's the only guy I've ever run into that has that kind of intensity.
	You know what I mean?
	You guys feel it when you hear him singing?
	And it sounds like your voice is strong, man, so can you rattle off a few more, man?
	It would just be so incredible.
	God bless you.
	Welcome to Turdstock and the Redneck Riviera.
	Mr.
	Angie Aparo, y'all, come on.
	Thank you, John.
	Thank you, buddy.
	I did have one hit.
	I had one hit.
	Yeah, we'll do cry.
	I'm going to do cry now.
	We'll do cry.
	So this was actually a song on my record, and then Faith Hill heard it, and she covered it, and my ex-wife was happy.
	No, it was fine.
	But this is a song called Cry and...
	Yeah.
	If I had
	just one tear running down your cheek, maybe I could, maybe I get some sleep.
	If I had just one moment at your expense, maybe all my misery would be well spent, yeah.
	Could you cry a little?
	Lie just a little.
	Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain I gave.
	Now I'm wanting something in return.
	So cry a little for me If your love could be cash Honey I would hold the key And conceal it underneath The pile of lies your hand in me And you'd hunt
	and those lies They'd be all you'd ever find That'd be all you'd have to know For me to be Fine.
	Yeah.
	And you cry a little.
	You die just a little.
	And baby, I would feel just a little less pain I gave.
	Now I'm wanting something in return.
	So cry a little hope on me Give it up, baby A whimper would be fine Some kind of clue that you're due in time.
	Some kind of heartache, honey, give it a try.
	I don't want pity, I just want what is Could you cry a little?
	Just a little.
	Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain.
	I gave now I'm wanting something in return.
	So cry a little for me.
	Could you cry a little on me?
	Cry.
	La, la, la, la, la.
	Thank y'all.
	You got to do it.
	Alright, we'll do Elton John.
	Let's do Elton John.
	Elton John.
	I'll go out with this one because they've got to help me sing too.
	They're good, yeah.
	Alright, here we go.
	Y'all feeling good?
	Talk to me, silly freaks.
	All right.
	Thank you, buddy.
	It's delicious.
	It's just Coca-Cola.
	Thank you, John, for having me again.
	I love you guys.
	Thank you.
	So I covered this song years ago.
	I'll do it again today or tonight.
	You've got to help me sing when you know where it is.
	piano plays She packed my bags last night, pre-flight Zero hour, 9 a.m.
	piano plays I'm gonna be high as a kite by then.
	I miss the earth so much.
	I miss my wife.
	It's lonely out in space.
	On such a timeless flight Yeah And I think it's gonna be a long, long time To touch down, bring me round again to fight I'm not the man that think I am at home, oh no, no, no.
	I'm a ragged man, yeah A ragged man burning out his fuse up here low Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kid In fact it's cold as hell It's
	just my job, five days a week.
	I am a rockin' man A rockin' man Come on, y'all!
	Now we're gonna see what you got.
	Ready?
	No shit, pretty good.
	Usually you have to be, that's good, you all knew that.
	The song's been going out for like 50 years, so we finally know the words.
	This is Major Tom, to ground control.
	This is Major Tom To ground control The papers want to know whose shirts you wear At ground control
	The papers want to know whose shirts you wear At ground control This is ground control Major Tom To ground control
	No hate Oh.
	Oh.
	Thank you all so much.
	Thank you, John.
	Do you want to rock 'em out?
	I don't do many covers, but I know two.
	This is the other one.
	Ask your mom please, but she still said no.
	And there's two classes at no home work.
	Cause your teacher preaches class like he's some kind of jerk.
	You gotta fight for your right.
	That was pretty good.
	�� Your popcorns are smoking, man.
	He said, no way.
	This is really important right now.
	Cause the hypocrite smokes two packs a day.
	Oh, man, living at home is such a drag.
	And you all threw away your best porn on mine.
	Busted.
	You've got to fight for your right.
	The fight.
	Amazing.
	No one has jobs.
	And just get out of my house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear I'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair Your mom busted and she said, What's that noise?
	Mom, you're just jealous.
	It's the Beast Me Boy.
	Pretty good.
	You gotta fight for your right.
	So, so good.
	Party! Party! Party!
	Party! Party! Party! Party! Thank y'all.
	Thank you.
	Remember when I told you I think this guy might be an alien?
	He might be an alien.
	It is insane.
	Who said that?
	Yeah, the guy with the big beard back over there.
	And for that to look crazy to you is quite a feat.
	I'll tell you that, son, right now.
	Because you look pretty damn crazy yourself, I'll tell you.
	Can I request my favorite Angie Aparo song and then we'll let this man go tonight on this live stream?
	If you're watching this live stream, you're watching Turdstock 2023, and it won't be the last one.
	Can I get a hell yeah?
	We love America, and we love the people in it.
	We support our vets, our active duty, our police and fire, and all the hard-working people that make this country great.
	Can I get a hell yeah?
	Can I get an amen?
	Amen.
	I'd like to request my favorite Angie Aparo song.
	Angie, this is the first song that I ever heard from you that came through the stereo of my old Dodge truck when I was brand new in town.
	When I thought you were a girl.
	And it's one of the greatest songs I've ever heard in my life, man.
	I mean, honestly, we had to track him down, try to figure out what this guy was.
	He was down in Georgia around Atlanta, and we're just like, I don't even care.
	I remember me and Big Kenny driving down to a concert that Angie, he was opening for somebody at a show.
	We pulled in backstage, we got back there, and we see Angie Aparo.
	Shake his hand and go, hey, we're big and rich and we love you, man.
	What the hell's going on with you, dude?
	That's when we became friends.
	That was back in the day.
	So it's quite an honor, man, to have your voice on this stage at Redneck Riviera as a part of this live stream for Turdstock.
	Can you sing a song, my favorite song, about the aliens?
	And, by the way, if you're going to sing a song about the aliens, can I sing the harmony part?
	I'll take that mic.
	Ladies and gentlemen, one of the most incredible vocalists you've ever heard in your life.
	Give it up for Mr.
	Angie Aparo.
	Thank you all so much.
	Thank you, John.
	You know, it's crazy.
	This song is actually about...
	It's kind of strange because I guess the artist is sort of looking forward, hopefully at times, but this is sort of about where we are right now, about AI becoming our families, you know, and taking over our families.
	So I wrote this 20 years ago about kind of technology destroying families.
	So, unfortunately, it's true.
	Unfortunately, the shit's coming true.
	Hey, Angie, do you love America?
	Hell fucking yeah.
	Why?
	Why do you love America so much?
	Because I'm free to experience, to speak.
	Yeah?
	Yeah.
	Because you don't look like the average patriot in my mind.
	I think patriotism crosses all lines, don't you?
	I think anybody that wants to be free and wants to be left alone, that's pretty much what we have in common.
	Would you agree with that?
	Of course.
	There's no one leaving the country.
	Can you imagine?
	There's no one leaving the country.
	That's true.
	Yeah, there's no one leaving.
	Nobody.
	No one.
	Even the fancy-schmancy actresses and actors and singers that say, well, by God, if Donald Trump's the next president, I'm leaving.
	I ain't seen one of them leave yet, have you?
	They'll never leave.
	They'll never leave.
	It's too powerful, man.
	The idea of individual freedom was given to us by God, man.
	It's like a thing.
	People are drawn to it, so they're never going to leave.
	They're all coming.
	America is the reason people come, not the reason people leave.
	Absolutely.
	This man loves his country, and his country loves him.
	Take one more shot of that Jaeger.
	One more shot.
	No!
	One more shot of Jaeger.
	There you go.
	Now you're set, son.
	Thank you, John.
	As I told you before this man walked up, I said, I think he might be an alien.
	I've never heard anybody sing like this man sings or have the intensity that he has.
	Listen, look him up.
	Go download his records.
	Angie Apero.
	He's got some of the greatest bodies of work anybody's made in the past 20 years.
	It's my pleasure to sing on this next song, son.
	Tell us about a spaceship, yeah?
	Well, yeah, I kind of wrote this years ago, and it is sort of about what's happening now, unfortunately, about technology sort of trying to infiltrate the family.
	And it's about this boy who doesn't want to join the cult of technology, the spaceship, and he's trying to avoid it.
	But even his mother, his father, everyone's like, you're wrong.
	The boy's wrong, but the boy's right.
	And unfortunately that's where we're at right now. - Life at Turnstile, yeah.
	When you're gonna grow up, Mama always said, Are you gonna walk around with a silly grin And a bubble on your head?
	A spaceship landed by the mall It was a big parade, everybody got lucky If you get tired of satellite flyers and fame, let you down.
	Under the wire and over the moon I'm around When you're gonna grow up, mama always said But I just wanna walk around with a dollar bill And a coat that never sheds A spaceship landed on the water.
	There was a holiday for the underpaid.
	Everybody got a haircut and lemonade.
	And they smiled just like it was their father.
	Yeah.
	If you get tired of satellite flyers and fame, let you down under the wire and over the let you down under the wire and over the moon.
	I'm around.
	Play me a groove, one for my radio and one for my love that came and went.
	There's so many stories.
	Hey, man, I'm sorry, Joe.
	This is just a song to pay the rent.
	A song to pay the rent.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	If If you get tired of satellite flyers and fame I'll let you down Under the wire And over the moon I'm around
	Yeah I'm around When you're gonna grow up Yeah When you're gonna grow up Yeah When you're gonna grow up.
	Yeah.
	When you're gonna grow up.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Angie Aparo, y'all, put your hands up for this man.
	Thank y'all.
	One of the greatest in our country right now.
	Go get his music, Angie Aparo.
	There you go.
	Thank you, John.
	You all having fun so far?
	Yeah.
	Turn to the church.
	Turdstock's quite the place to be right now, isn't it?
	Isn't it, Cat Turd?
	Yeah, flash that camera right over to Cat Turd for a minute.
	Cat Turd?
	First of all, I just want to say thank you for saying what we all think on Twitter and true social.
	But I'd like to invite Cat Turt up onto the stage right now for anybody that's never seen this man.
	He's quite handsome.
	Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, the one and only Cat Turt!
	Cat!
	Cat, how do you think it's going so far?
	I can't believe how good these people are.
	Can you?
	This is amazing!
	The guy's out of his mind singing, huh?
	I'm going to hit the his notes now.
	Ready?
	I can't do it.
	You don't have to.
	You know what?
	You know what's been happening to this guy?
	This guy is sitting there just speaking the truth and they SWAT him.
	They send a SWAT team in on Cat Turd.
	Somebody did.
	But nobody sent a SWAT team in on Hunter Biden.
	He's sitting out there in Malibu with Secret Service, okay?
	He's out there sliding in his buck-ass naked britches down a slide with a bunch of hookers, whatever he's doing.
	Going down the slide, holding up some secret documents, and yeah, they don't mess with him at all.
	No, they want to mess with cat turd.
	They want to mess with cat turd.
	Yeah, Cat Turd, what do you say to them?
	What'd you say?
	Yeah!
	Hey, I don't mind just, I don't mind taking all the arrows and punches for you guys.
	A death threat's just another day at the Cat Turd Ranch.
	Cat Turd Ranch!
	As we continue tonight, listen, I made some phone calls.
	I called Big Kenny.
	Big Kenny showed up.
	I called Jeffrey Steele.
	How about Jeffrey Steele tonight?
	Wow.
	And then I called this guy you ain't never heard of, Angie Aparo.
	A round of applause for Angie Aparo, the alien resident.
	So would I steer you wrong at this point of the live stream?
	Would I do that to you?
	I would not do that.
	I picked up the phone.
	I called this lady who, in my opinion, listen, when you hear her sing, you're going to feel like you just laid your head down on a big old plate of biscuits and gravy.
	She is a stand-alone guitar player, singer, songwriter.
	And if you want to talk about a deep conversation, sit down with this girl one time.
	Change your life.
	I'm telling you right now.
	I asked her to come to this.
	She don't do a lot of things like this.
	She's one of those people behind the scenes that you never hear about.
	But tonight she's going to be on the scene right in front of this crowd and in front of America on this live stream.
	Welcome to the stage, Miss Leslie Satcher.
	Come on, Miss Leslie.
	Here she comes.
	Here she comes.
	Hi.
	Appreciate you, ma'am.
	Come on in.
	Plug everything in.
	Listen.
	I might ask you a couple questions about songwriting because I don't know anybody that writes a song deeper or better than Leslie Satcher.
	And by the way, ladies, isn't it nice to see a lady represented up here tonight at Turdstock?
	Hell yeah.
	Check everything.
	Let's make sure it's all hot.
	Check, check, check.
	Sounds good to me.
	No guitar.
	Give her some guitar there, son.
	Ooh, there it is.
	You can call it just like that.
	That's good.
	Thank you for being here.
	Before you play your first song, would you tell them what songwriting's all about?
	Like, how do you write a really great song?
	Man, well, first of all, you try to be like John Rich.
	You work hard to be like John Rich.
	That ain't true.
	It is true.
	Because you just lay your heart out on a piece of paper.
	You don't try to fool nobody by making up stuff.
	You just tell the truth.
	I'm from Texas, so that's what we do.
	Hook'em!
	Hook'em!
	We might make it a little bit colorful for you.
	I might put some icing on it.
	But I'm going to tell you the truth.
	JR and I have been here a long time together in this town and learning kind of from some of the same people and then coming up at the same time.
	And it's been a blessing, hasn't it, John?
	It's been a blessing.
	Hey baby, Lord.
	I see on the menu cranking up there.
	Hey baby, Lord.
	Don't blame me if I can't get loving you right.
	Yeah, baby, don't blame me if I can't get loving you right.
	I wasn't put out for aprons on or staying home, baby, at night.
	My mama was a hippie, and my daddy was a rolling stone.
	Yeah, my mama was a hippie, y'all daddy was a rolling stone.
	And now it don't matter what you call me, my middle name is gone.
	I tell you, I was born in gypsy boots with a guitar on my back.
	I got a rebel soul, I got an attitude, honey, just like a Johnny Cash.
	Man, this is just another town that I'm only passing through.
	I get around, baby, in my gypsy boots, Lord.
	I don't want to rock no babies, but baby, I'll rock you.
	No, I don't want to rock no babies, but cowboy, I will rock you.
	I might drink all my cold sun.
	all but not my gypsy booze, Lord.
	I tell ya, I was born in gypsy booze with a guitar on my back.
	I got a rebel soul, I got an attitude, honey, just like John Rich.
	Man, this is just another joy that I'm only passing through.
	I get around, son.
	In my gypsy boozy hair Now I'm a country song I'm a kind that can make you cry Lord I'm a country song I'm a kind that can make you cry I might drink all your redneck rivier whiskey.
	I might leave you high and dry.
	I was born in gypsy boots with a guitar on my back.
	I got a rebel soul.
	I got an attitude, baby, just like you.
	Son, this is just another joint and I'm only passing through.
	I get around in my gypsy boots But I get around, baby, in my gypsy boots Oh, Lord, my mama was a hippie Daddy was a rolling stone
	God bless Terry Clark for cutting that song God bless Terry Clark for cutting that song Thank you so much.
	You're always so patient.
	You're always so kind.
	I've got this fiery timber.
	Always falling out of line.
	Lord, I'm so patient.
	I say just what I think You wanna think things out You stand on your own Son,
	help me I'm just barely hanging on Baby, help me.
	Lord, I want to do things right.
	Son, help me.
	I'm gettin' tired of bein' The way I've always been Baby, the way you love me Makes me wanna try again Honey,
	you see all the good in me You keep talking about our future.
	You don't know my past.
	What's in the life?
	Oh, Lord, to be so strong, help me.
	Baby, I'm just barely hanging on.
	Come on, help me.
	Lord, I wanna do this right.
	Won't you help me?
	Honey, I wanna do this right.
	Oh, Lord, son, help me.
	God bless Trisha Yearwood for cutting that song.
	So this song right here taught me that music will follow you all around the world.
	Because I was in Australia and I heard this coming out of a theater.
	I went rushing in there to see who was singing about my granddaddy.
	He was a Texas cowboy.
	When Leanne Womack sang about him.
	When I burst into this room, there is a band playing.
	About 14 of them.
	They told me later they were an Irish folk, punk, rock, country band.
	I said, yeah you are.
	Here's the thing.
	And this was before this was a thing.
	All the men had on women's clothes, and all the women had on men's clothes in that band.
	So the dude sing about my granddaddy, this boss cowboy out of Texas, had on fishnet hose and stiletto heels.
	After it was over, he said, uh, oh, last, let me ask you something.
	We're singing about your granddad, are we?
	I said, yes, you are, Ian.
	He said, what do you think your granddad would think about it?
	I said, well, he's in the grave in East Texas, but he's generating electricity because he's spinning out of the guitar, buddy.
	He'd been gone for ten long days, learning to end up out in a shade.
	He gotta run from coast to coast.
	I got one more night to go.
	I love a man with 18 wheels, yeah.
	Honey, I love a man with 18 wheels, 70 feet of polished steel.
	Baby makes his living up on the road, baby.
	Well, he just called from Baton Rouge One more stop and he'll be through And he's a man till it's time to get on up and roll Man, he's on the way from home It's in the house of Peterbilt I love a man with 18 wheels Who loves a trucker out there?
	I love a man with 18 wheels I can't wait to hear that sound.
	That big diesel gearing down.
	Oh, we gonna hang like a lovesick kid.
	Gonna make up for the nights we miss.
	I love a man with 18 wheels, yeah.
	I love a man with 18 wheels 70 feet of polished steel Baby makes his living up on the road Honey, he just called from Baton Rouge One more stop and he'll be through Then he's mine till it's time to get on up and roll He's home away from home It's in the house of Peterbilt I
	love a man with 18 wheels.
	Yeah, I love a man with 18 wheels.
	18 wheels.
	I keep on rolling.
	18 wheels.
	Keep on bringing him back to me.
	Keep on bringing him back to me.
	God bless Leanne Womack for cutting that song.
	Night owls are like myself.
	Tend to smoke and walk the floor.
	Entertaining old regrets.
	That won't stop knocking at my back door.
	And the kitchen table Midnight and blackberry wine Sadly I'm still able To feel the loss of sweeter times Oh, how does a lonely find me?
	I keep moving around Oh, it lives to unwind me Just like it's doing now It keeps acting like we're best friends I swear I don't know why Lonely
	ain't no friend to me Cause lonely don't know when to leave guitar solo I keep
	moving around Baby, it lives to unwind me Just like it's doing now It keeps acting like we're best friends I swear I don't know why Lonely ain't
	Ain't no friend to me Lonely don't know when to leave Thank you so much.
	How y'all doing right now?
	Yeah!
	Because it's hard to keep yourself together when you hear somebody singing like that, ain't it?
	Ain't no live stream in the USA got people singing like that.
	Leslie Satcher is an absolute monster walking around our town.
	Leslie, you bend notes that ain't supposed to be bent.
	I mean, you just take it and I go, yeah, that's where she, oh no, I think she's, and then back down, back up again, whoa.
	I just wonder what it would sound like if I could be so bold as to ask you for a request.
	Acapella.
	Did you see the look she gave me?
	That is like looking at John Wayne when he's getting ready to pull a six gun.
	He's like, alright, alright.
	Can I ask you a question?
	She goes, alright.
	Okay then.
	Well, please don't kick my ass, but I'm gonna ask for it anyway.
	Can you imagine hearing someone with Leslie's talent sing a Patsy Cline song?
	Now, there's a bunch of them.
	I'm not sure what your favorite one is, but would you mind singing your favorite Patsy Cline song for the Redneck Riviera and Turdstock and tens of thousands across the country?
	A lot of people watching this right now.
	It's an honor to have you.
	I don't mean to put her on the spot, but I can tell you right now, this woman don't back down from nobody.
	So, I'd like to hear a Patsy Cline song if you've got one.
	When I came to town, there was a little old recording studio down here.
	It used to be Barbara Mandrell Country.
	And for $10, you could put your voice on a blank tape.
	Well, it had the band on it, and you could put your voice on it.
	So for $10, I started doing that.
	I came to town with $200.
	I left that day with $40 in my pockets because I'd played so many of them.
	About half of them were Patsy Cline songs.
	When I left there later, I was like, I'm the new Patsy Cline.
	Yeah, I figured out I wasn't.
	I wasn't.
	I hope those tapes are gone forever.
	But I did sing crazy I'm crazy for feeling so lonely And I'm crazy, crazy for feelings so blue.
	I knew that someday you'd want me forever.
	Now I'm crazy, crazy for loving you.
	Now let me tell you something about songwriters.
	So I forgot the words in that one segment there.
	Did I stop?
	No, Mama told us not to stop when we were singing in church.
	She said, you keep going.
	You put something about the blood and the cross in it, you get them to the altar, that's your job.
	You forget the words, you keep singing.
	I forgot the words in the middle of that verse there, but I didn't think the blood or the cross was going to work, so I just made up a few.
	So that's the only time you'll hear that one verse.
	God bless y'all.
	Y'all, thank you so much.
	I'll tell you what, I'll leave you with this song right here because it's been really good to me.
	And who doesn't love George Strait?
	You got any George Strait fans?
	This is for Mr.
	John Ridge, who's been a long time friend of mine, and for a really long time friend of mine, and musical hero, and musical influence, and a guy who comes to my house to eat chicken fried steak sometimes, Mr.
	Larry Gatlin.
	Boy, you're about to be blessed.
	I still feel 25 most of the time.
	I still raise a little cane with the boys.
	Honky tonks on city limits.
	Man, I'm still right there in them.
	Singing above the crowd and the noise.
	Sometimes I feel like Jesse James.
	Still trying to make a name.
	Knowing nothing's gonna change what I am.
	was a young troubadour When I rode in on a song, I'll be an old troubadour when I'm gone.
	God bless George Strait.
	Well, the truth about a mirror is a danged old mirror.
	No, it never really tells the whole truth.
	It don't show us deep inside It don't read between the lines And it's really no reflection of my youth Sometimes I feel like Jesse James Still trying to make a name Knowing nothing's gonna change what I am I was young I was a young troubadour when I
	rode in on a song.
	I'll be an old troubadour when I'm gone.
	I was a young troubadour when I rode in on a song.
	I'll be an old troubadour when I'm gone.
	God bless you.
	God bless America.
	Thank you so much for having me.
	Thank you so much.
	Thank you, JR.
	Leslie Satcher, what did you think?
	Her voice is so good, you just want her to sing basically anything.
	Like A, B, C, D, E, F, G. I would pay money for that.
	Is there anything else we could ask Leslie to sing while she's here?
	How about...
	How about...
	God bless America.
	Do that one?
	We love you.
	And she's a badass guitar picker, by the way, too.
	One more song from Leslie Satcher.
	Something a little patriotic.
	Let's go.
	How about this?
	Oh, beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain. for amber waves of grain.
	For Purple Mountain's majesty, above the fruited plain, America, America, God shed his grace on thee.
	And crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea.
	Thank you to our veterans.
	We love you.
	you.
	Thank you so much.
	That's what America looks like and that's what it sounds like.
	Can I get a hell yeah one time?
	Welcome to Turd Stock 2023 at the Redneck Riviera.
	If you're tuned in live and watching the live stream, copy and paste this link, stick it on your social media and gather the people in now.
	This is when we get to have a real American time.
	Can I get a hell yeah?
	Now, Cat Turd's standing right over here.
	Can we put the camera on him?
	Most people ain't seen Cat Turd before.
	Oh, he looks good.
	He looks good.
	Yes, he does.
	Cat Turd, thank you for putting this on, man, and for calling me and saying we gotta do something fun.
	We have to do something patriotic.
	We have to take people's minds off the nonsense that's happening in the country right now.
	That's what you said.
	It's gotta be all positive.
	Cat Turd, how are we doing so far, son?
	How we doing?
	We're doing good?
	Yeah, we're doing real good.
	Well, our final guest tonight is a member of the Grand Ole Opry.
	Yeah?
	He's been a mentor to me personally for a long time.
	He's the guy I call when I go, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do right now.
	I'll call up this fella.
	And I've had long conversations with him.
	We burn down a lot of tobacco together up at my house and out at his house and out in the woods sometimes.
	Yes, sir?
	No, cat turd.
	You've got to say it on the mic if you're going to say it.
	We've got to get Carmen up here.
	No, no, you come here.
	You come here.
	Larry?
	Larry Gatlin is sitting over here, okay?
	I just want you to know that.
	Cat Turd just tapped me on the shoulder, and I'm glad he did.
	This is a partnership, okay?
	I'm partnered with Cat Turd.
	I never thought I would say that, but...
	Oh, all the leftist crazy liberals are going to go, yeah, look what they're doing down there hanging out with people called Cat Turd.
	I go, yep.
	Well, you're hanging out with people called CNN, and so I'll take my crowd any day.
	Not a problem.
	Larry is in the wings.
	And he's good.
	He's got a little cigar to smoke, and he's doing okay.
	Cat Turd told me about a friend of his from down in Florida, where he's from, and said, this fella is writing some of the best songs I've ever heard in my life.
	And I think you said he didn't pick up a guitar until he was 60.
	Is that right?
	Something like that.
	Well, come on up here.
	He was 60-something.
	And Cat Turd says, this gentleman here, his name is Carmen, said that Mr.
	Carmen is writing some of the best country music anywhere in America.
	And Cat Turd wanted to put the spotlights on this man because nobody's ever heard his songs.
	We're going to debut him here from the Redneck Riviera.
	We're going to get him a chair, sit him down.
	You bet.
	Come here, Carmen.
	Tell everybody about yourself.
	Who are you and where are you from?
	Well, first I want to let everybody know that I came from a family...
	My dad's mother was born in Jacksonville in 1894.
	And then my dad had, there were five boys and three girls.
	His daddy served in World War I. I was named after one of the sons, Carmen, who was killed four months before World War II was over.
	He was a paratrooper, 11th Airborne.
	My dad, thank you.
	My dad was on a supply ship in the South Pacific.
	Actually, he was in Shanghai Harbor when he heard that Carmen was killed.
	So, and then...
	My Uncle Gene, who was the oldest brother, he was a tank driver at the Battle of the Bulge.
	So we come from, it all stopped with me.
	I tried to go to Vietnam and my dad wouldn't sign for me.
	I was too young, but I felt like I should go.
	But anyway, I met this guy working several years ago and we became friends.
	And this guy has a voice, and let me tell you, he sure has a voice.
	Hey, hey, hey.
	Hey, hey, hey.
	I said hey, hey, hey.
	Tell me when you're ready.
	Can you sit on that big thing?
	Huh?
	Can you sit down on that?
	Yeah.
	So this is a buddy of mine, and we were out working on the road because, you know, I used to have a real job.
	So we were in the motel room one day, and we was picking around on guitar, and this guy writes so many songs.
	But they're real serious, so this first song is so serious, I can't tell you, because we're from North Florida, and we're really serious people.
	So the first song is going to be called, My Dog Ate My Smoke.
	Check one.
	How's everybody doing?
	Y'all have to help me out with this one.
	My dog ate my smoke.
	He's in a hickory tree out back.
	I don't know if he's alive or dead.
	He might have suffered a heart attack.
	I gotta climb up there, get him down.
	Where's my ladder at?
	Yeah, my dog ate my smoke.
	He's in a hickory tree out back.
	Well, it wasn't long.
	The cop pulled up.
	He said, this I gotta see.
	Your neighbor called, said, come out here.
	There's a dog up a tree.
	I ain't never seen an old blue tick hound get that high up.
	I said, the last time he got that high, he drove to town in my old truck.
	Yeah, my dog ate my smoke.
	He's in a hinkery tree out back.
	Sing it!
	I don't know if he's alive or dead.
	He might have suffered a heart attack.
	I gotta climb up there, get him down.
	Where's my ladder at?
	Yeah, my dog ate my smoke.
	He's in a hickory tree out by.
	Well, the neighbor said you need to run him in, charge him with abuse.
	He lets that dog smoke cigarettes and drink his homemade brew.
	I said, there ain't no law that says my dog can't smoke from time to time.
	But he sure does like a toque or two with a sandwich and some wine.
	Yeah, my dog ate my smoke.
	He's in a hickory tree out back I don't know if he's alive or dead He might have suffered a heart attack I gotta climb up there, get him down Where's my ladder at?
	Yeah, my dog ate my smoke He's in a hickory tree out back Thank you, thank you Thank you.
	Believe it or not, I wrote that song on the back of an envelope with a pencil driving up I-75 going hunting several years ago.
	It just popped in my head.
	I got another dog song, but I'm not going to sing it right now.
	I got another dog song, but I'm not going to sing it right now.
	About a what?
	This is a cowboy song I wrote.
	Never had written one before.
	I woke up one morning and sat up on the side of the bed.
	I said, am I up or am I down?
	And this is what came of it.
	Am I up or am I down?
	Am I still a cowboy or a rodeo clown?
	I read my name in the paper today.
	Obituary said part of me passed away.
	I poured me a cup, put on my clothes, had to think about this, cause I've gotten old.
	No, I'm still here, cause I'm walking outside.
	Sit on my porch and smoke my best pie.
	Here's to Texas.
	She's been good to me.
	I can hear the birds singing although I can't see.
	With the sun in my eyes they could be anywhere.
	Perched on a fence post or up in the air.
	As I fire up my pipe, I start to cry.
	I hurt every day, but I'm still alive.
	I was a cowboy, you know, for 52 years.
	loved horses and saddles, good whiskey and beer.
	Forgive me, I got kind of carried away there.
	Word.
	Here's to Texas, she's been good to me I can hear the birds singing although I can't see With these tears in my eyes they could be anywhere Perched on a fence post or up in the air Worked with a cowboy, Montana bred.
	He said your Texas cow punchers are messed up in the head.
	You ride horses all day and women at night.
	And if you're drinking tequila you all want to fight.
	Survived by a husband of 52 years An old cowboy and clown that drinks too much beer It was her name I read in the paper today Part of me died with her when she passed away Here's to Texas,
	I've had a good life Where I learned to cowboy and I met my wife Was it the cowboy she loved or the rodeo clown That never knew the difference between up or down Was it the cowboy she loved or that old rodeo
	clown Never knew the difference between up or down.
	Am I up or am I down?
	Am I still a cowboy?
	That old rodeo clown Sorry I lost my train of thought there for a minute.
	Thank you.
	I'm a songwriter.
	I ain't the greatest musician.
	I woke up one Sunday morning, went outside, smoked a cigarette, sit down at a table, and God gave me these words real quick.
	It's called Sid.
	Name it the song is Sid.
	My bird dog was on the porch beneath my rocking chair.
	I walked out and lit a smoke and said, get on out of here.
	And I sat down With my coffee, poured a little liquor in my cup.
	Took off my hat and I bowed my head.
	And I sent this prayer up.
	Lord, I know I'm a sinner.
	I've been one since I was born.
	I think I know how Jesus fell, nailed to that cross and scorned.
	Before she left, she cussed me out, said that I had lied.
	Who is she to treat me this way when I got you on my side?
	Well, I finished that coffee, picked up that bottle, filled that cup back up.
	That dog came back, laid down beside me.
	He never holds a grudge.
	Well, he got me to thinking how I've been acting.
	I'm gonna miss her so much.
	Figured I could use a little more action, so I sent these words back up.
	Lord, I know I'm a sinner.
	I've been one since I was born.
	But this whiskey, it makes me crazy.
	And I say things that do more harm.
	Hope she knows I still love her like this old dog loves me.
	Excuse me for asking, Lord, but could you send her back here, please?
	Well, you answered my prayers.
	We're still together.
	We're headed to church right now.
	That old dog, well, he's beneath that rocker, pretending to guard the house.
	Took an old dog to teach me a lesson, and that's just what he did.
	He brought me to Jesus and my salvation.
	My old bird dog said, Come here, buddy.
	Come here, sit.
	Thank you.
	Now where are you from, sir?
	I was born and raised in Dade City, Florida, and grew up for a while there in a mill town in Lacoochie, Florida.
	That's where all the family worked, and you're talking about whistles blowing it.
	They blew that whistle in the morning, they blew it at noon, and they blew it when it's time to everybody get off, go to work, you know, go back home.
	What do you think about cat turd?
	Don't he look good with that hat on?
	He told me yesterday, he said, man, I'm glad that you went down there with me because you made me look good.
	I said, hey, that hat is you, buddy.
	He's a great guy and he has supported me.
	I mean, I've done a few singer-songwriter events and I don't know, maybe I need to take more privilege so I don't mess up like I did a while ago.
	Sometimes it's hard to remember where you put that stuff, you know?
	You remember a hell of a lot more than the President of the United States remembers, I tell you that much.
	Hey, hey, let's do a check on the Redneck Riviera.
	Does anybody see the teleprompter for the lyrics for this man?
	I don't see a teleprompter.
	Are you trying to tell me that at your age you understand and remember all the words to your song?
	Yes, sir.
	Well, then I say, you should be the President of the United States of America.
	Carmen for President!
	Carmen for President!
	I say, hell yeah.
	Now, Carmen.
	All kinds of people out there on the internet right now, they hate this.
	They say, oh, cat turd, can you imagine aligning yourself with someone called that?
	And I say, well, can you imagine yourself aligned with somebody called, I don't know, Barack Obama?
	That would be kind of nasty to me.
	Or can you imagine yourself aligned with, oh, MSNBC? I mean, that...
	It sounds like a way to really kill the roaches and the mosquitoes, you know.
	Just spray some MSNBC on it and they'll all die, you know.
	In the meantime, there's a bunch of regular ass Americans hanging out here that are sick and tired of it.
	And sometimes we like to sit on stages and sing a little country music to the people.
	You know what I'm saying?
	The fact that they hate us is validation that we said it correctly.
	Can I get a hell yeah?
	You got one more?
	Can we get one more out of you, sir?
	Mr.
	Carmen, y'all put your hands together for the man.
	I've read a lot of songs riding down the road on a piece of paper, you know.
	Uh...
	Thank you.
	And I wrote this one.
	I remember when I wrote it, I wrote it the day before Mr.
	Obama went into his second term.
	And this is what I was thinking.
	Is this giving me feedback?
	My teeth closed.
	It's been a while since I sung this.
	I kind of sung it for John a little bit ago.
	Anyway, it's called Freedom.
	The founding fathers of this land signed their names, every man declaring independence from a king. .
	The war they fought they went through hell through victory they forged a bell and with liberty and freedom it will ring.
	Do you want to be fair?
	Do you want to live free?
	Political correctness is taking away our liberties in this country once again.
	It's threatened by tyranny.
	Do you want to be fair?
	Or do you wanna be free?
	Religious freedom we once knew is slowly closing doors.
	If we don't make amends with him, America will be no more.
	Do you want to be fair?
	Do you want to live free?
	We've taken away our liberties.
	This country once again, oh it's threatened by tyranny.
	Do you want to be fair?
	Do you want to be free?
	They might come from me in the day or night Put me in my...
	Put me in my place.
	But the Constitution gives me the right to keep my family safe.
	Hey!
	I don't wanna be fair.
	Oh, I wanna live free.
	Political correctness is taking away my liberties in this country once again.
	Oh, it's threatened by tyranny.
	Do you wanna be fair?
	Do you want to be free?
	F-R-E-E-D-O-M What part of that don't they understand?
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Thank you all so much.
	God bless you all.
	Thank you.
	Thank you, Mr.
	John Rich.
	Thank you so much.
	And Katur, let's hear it for Katur.
	Give it up for Carmen one time.
	Country boy, local boy.
	Katur's buddy.
	That was great, man.
	Yes, sir.
	You're welcome back anytime at the Redneck Riviera, I can tell you that much.
	That's real country right there, folks.
	That is real country.
	Real country.
	All right, you ready for our last round of country music up in here tonight?
	We'll close this thing out.
	I saved the best for last because ain't nobody I've ever met in my life Sang songs that hit this hard, in my life anyway.
	I'm a country music fan.
	Any country music fans out there?
	So this guy wrote them and he sang them, and he's been around for a minute.
	He's been my mentor for a long, long time.
	I'd like to bring up to the stage a member of the Songwriters Hall of Fame, a member of the Grand Ole Opry.
	Yes, he is.
	Ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
	Larry Gatlin from the Gatlin Brothers.
	Hi, y'all.
	He, uh, Carmen, uh, he might not ever make it.
	People aren't real crazy about honest shit like that right there.
	You're going to have to phony your crap up a little bit if you ever...
	Now, you know, there's some great country singers.
	You know, the new kids, I'm rooting for them.
	I want their dreams to come true.
	You know, most of mine came true, and the ones that didn't come true weren't mine after all.
	They were somebody else's.
	I love John Rich.
	He's my little brother.
	So...
	I've got a guitar over there.
	We're gonna hand it to you.
	Where's it at, Pete?
	There it is.
	That's a fancy guitar.
	You know, of course Larry Gatlin has a very fancy guitar.
	Looks just like the one Taylor Swift pretends to play sometimes.
	I'm sorry, you thought Taylor was actually playing that guitar?
	Yeah! - It's my turn.
	So let me tell you about Larry Gatlin.
	This guy is getting ready to come up.
	And by the way, before he comes up, I just want to say thank you for tuning in to Turdstock 23.
	Lots of people hate it, but I love it.
	You've seen some insane talent up on this stage tonight, have you not?
	A shout out to my friend, Vicki McGeehy, who's watching this show at her house.
	Lots of people are having watching parties right now all throughout the U.S. Would you like to let them know what it sounds like in Nashville?
	Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
	It sounds like that.
	It sounds like that.
	And I just want to say thank you to Cat Turd.
	Thank you.
	Anybody that the FBI is looking into is a friend of mine.
	Can I get a hear you?
	No, the FBI is not looking into people waving Palestinian flags supporting Hamas.
	No, they're not doing that.
	No, the FBI just thought they'd pick on a guy called Cat Turd.
	Can you even believe what the hell has happened in our country at this point?
	Oh, yeah.
	Here's a question for you.
	Can you imagine if you told the greatest generation back in the day, hey, hey boys, hey girls, in 2023 they're going to be waving the enemy flag inside of your town and burning the American flag and you're going to be told to shelter in place.
	What do you think they would have said?
	Yeah, that's exactly right.
	Thank you. - You know, the most dangerous people in the world, the most dangerous people in the world are the ones that want to be left alone.
	The ones that don't want to be jacked with.
	We say, you know what?
	Go do your thing.
	Just stay out of my yard.
	But they're starting to stand up a little bit stronger right now.
	I think they might be dumb enough to actually walk up to my house and walk up into my yard.
	Now, is that a good idea for them?
	I hope it does not come to that.
	I really do.
	And I know we all hope it doesn't come to that.
	But at the end of the day, we are Americans.
	We got wives.
	We got husbands.
	We got kids.
	We got grandkids. - Thanks.
	You ain't never seen the fury like you've seen when you step into an American's backyard.
	Can you imagine?
	I appreciate y'all being here.
	And I'm glad that Cat Turd wanted to put this thing on.
	We're gonna do it again next year.
	We're gonna make it happen again.
	I'd like to bring up my final guest tonight.
	This man is a member of the Grand Ole Opry, one of the greatest talents that ever walked through Nashville.
	Put your hands together for Mr.
	Larry Gatlin one time.
	John Boy, thank you.
	I'm just honored to be here.
	I really am.
	He needs some guitar.
	Bring that guitar up.
	Gotta turn it up.
	I wrote a new song today.
	I'm serious.
	Today?
	Yeah, about while I was watching the Cowboys.
	They were only here 10 to 6 when I was watching.
	And they're way up there now.
	No, but I know you.
	And I know your brain.
	Because...
	The other half of yours is mine, I think.
	I lost half of mine a long time ago.
	I got your back.
	Okay, so I'm going to try it.
	I'm going to try it because that's what you just said, all right?
	All right.
	And, you know, I told on Mike Huckabee's show one time, I said, you know, I cannot be canceled.
	I'm a child of the living God.
	I can't be canceled.
	What are you talking about?
	We're supposed to put on the full, and it ain't church, but it's kind of church.
	Book says put on the full armor of God and go forward, right?
	So dig this.
	And I may have to make it up as I go.
	Hell, I made it up the first time.
	What key am I? Is it G? Okay.
	I'm gonna say what I wanna say.
	I'm gonna do what I wanna do.
	You do not have to like it, but you're gonna have to deal with it.
	You do not have to like it, but you're gonna have to deal with it.
	What's on that side of the line, what's on your side of the line belongs to you.
	What's on this side of the line is mine.
	And if you decide to step over the line, you're gonna have to deal with it.
	Boom!
	Deal with it.
	Boom!
	Deal with it.
	Boom!
	Domestic terrorists!
	Domestic terrorists!
	That's right.
	I ain't tryin' to hurt nobody I don't wanna have to break the law But if you decide to step over that line Come after what's me and mine You're gonna run into the straight shootin' It's some bitch you ever saw And you're gonna have to deal with it Boom!
	Deal with it!
	Boom!
	Deal with it!
	Boom!
	Deal with it!
	As a matter of fact, I don't have to go...
	It's already...
	All I have to do is pull that thumb safety on that It's nice to have domestic terrorist Larry Gatlin up on the stage tonight.
	One, two, three, four.
	Deal with it.
	Boom!
	Deal with it.
	Boom!
	Deal with it.
	Boom!
	Larry Gatlin!
	What do you really think?
	I mean, damn.
	Well...
	Let me tell you what I did.
	My father's a Marine in heaven.
	Happy anniversary.
	Yesterday, 248 to you Marines.
	And he taught us right from wrong.
	And like I say, he's a Marine in heaven.
	And he was on the USS Wakefield troop ship on the way for the invasion of Japan when Harry Truman had the cojones?
	Wavos, big brassies, to do what needed to be done because my brothers and I probably wouldn't be here.
	Our dad would have probably died in that invasion.
	They rerouted them after the Hiroshima and Nagasaki up to China because some of the Japanese soldiers wouldn't surrender.
	Daddy always said he was a cook.
	Yeah.
	That's where I got this from.
	So when he came home from the Marines, he and Mom got married, and I love those old Marine jackets, you know, the square bottom.
	I wore his old mean green around when I was a kid until it drugged the hem off the bottom.
	So when I had some hit records of success, thank you, Dad and God and Mom, I decided to have my clothes made like that with epaulets.
	These are not military buttons.
	I do not deserve to wear that.
	I did not serve.
	I was number 296 in the draft, did not have to go to Vietnam, but I put United States American, the American Eagle.
	But I did it to honor my father.
	And after I had the thing made, and this is true, I didn't feel right about wearing it.
	I thought somebody would say, well, there goes a soldier.
	I just, I couldn't do that.
	Well, I mustered up my courage.
	And we were going.
	The brothers and I did a show up at a black college in D.C. Somebody help me with it.
	A university.
	For this man and his wife who started the college and college funds and stuff.
	Hmm?
	Howard.
	Howard, thank you.
	Thank you.
	You were invited to sing in Howard College?
	Paul Lynch Block!
	Howard is Howard!
	And so I got up there and the gentleman who was putting on that show for the foundation, I walked up to him and I said, sir, and I had known the gentleman, I said, I told him the story about my father.
	I said, I've always felt strange about wearing it, but I thought I'd do it tonight and ask your permission and your blessing if it was all right.
	And my friend General Colin Powell said, Private, you wear that jacket for your daddy.
	So that's what it is tonight.
	Sing it, son.
	Sing it.
	What are we going to sing now?
	What do you want to sing?
	You want to sing something patriotic?
	What key do you want to get in?
	You tell me.
	Well, Houston.
	Ain't nothing more patriotic than rodeos, right?
	Everybody, Houston means that I'm one day closer to you.
	Oh, honey, Houston.
	Houston means the last day of the turn we're through.
	Yeah, you, man, that's supposed to be G. God in heaven above, know I love what I do for a living, I really do.
	Oh, but Houston, Houston means that I'm one day closer to you.
	Well, singing at the world's biggest rodeo is your boss, a great time for me and the guy.
	Oh, but when I'm away from you, honey, time always never flies.
	Sleeping all alone in that holiday hotel show, it's a count on blue.
	Here I am in Houston and I'm one day closer to you.
	Everybody now.
	Houston.
	Houston means I'm one day closer to you.
	Houston, where's Texas?
	Houston means the last day of the tour with fruit.
	Yeah, here we go.
	God in heaven But I know I love what I do I really do But Houston Houston baby I want me closer to you We'll tag it right here boy Yeah Houston - Cheers.
	Houston means that I'm one day closer to you.
	Yeah!
	Now you sing one, I'll sing with you.
	They don't call it, huh?
	Can I sing a Larry Gatlin song?
	Can I do one?
	Hey, you know what?
	It's John Rich's Redneck Riviere.
	It ain't Larry Gatlin's Redneck Riviere.
	You can sing the old cow cross the road way down in Arkansas if you want to, but I'd be honored if you'd sing one of my songs.
	Do I know it?
	Well, you might know this one, Larry.
	You might know it.
	All the gold in California Santa Bank in the middle of Beverly Hills Come on Mary sing it!
	Just keep talking about where you played before It was a brand new game Go ahead, John Trying to be a hero Winding up a zero Charming Go ahead Down to your soul Take it, I'll play it
	Living on the spotlight can kill a man out of Christ.
	Cause everything that's different is not good.
	Y'all sing it now.
	See all the ghosts in California.
	Is it a pain in the midst of every year?
	Is somebody else's name still in your dream?
	I'm kind of born in the world.
	It's a tough night, tough way to play California's a brand new game A brand new game
	That's one of the biggest songs that ever got recorded in all of country music, ladies and gentlemen.
	Put your hands together.
	You just heard it live.
	Live at the Redneck Riviera.
	Can I do one more?
	We would love to hear one more or two more.
	Are you guys still up for it?
	Alright.
	Alright, here's the deal.
	My wife says, you can tell you're hanging out with Larry Gatlin if he says, here's the deal.
	So here's the deal.
	About ten years ago, I was in an airplane.
	See, I get in airplanes.
	Some people claim they get on them.
	You can try it. - Hey.
	Hold on.
	It's cold and windy out there.
	See, in a logical world, people would get in the airplane.
	You know, you've heard people, I'm going to get on the plane.
	All right.
	Get in the plane.
	In a logical world, you get in the plane.
	Of course, in a logical world, the place you get in and out of the plane would not be called the terminal.
	That's a little...
	Especially if you're George W. Bush.
	He loved airplanes.
	But see, in a logical world, men would ride side-saddle.
	It took them a minute, Larry, but they totally got the joke, man.
	Thank you.
	You are set right now.
	I'm good for life.
	Damn right.
	So here's what happened.
	I was in an airplane.
	I was reading...
	Well, I used to not say the name of it, but when I first wrote it, I used to say, well, it was just a paper from...
	It's the New York Times.
	And, well, it was on Sunday.
	I always buy the New York Times because it has the book review, Sunday book review.
	And I also read the New York Times just so I can kind of try to find out what the enemy's plans are.
	We call it the Communist Manifesto at our house, all right?
	So I was reading it in the opinion editorial page, and the gist of this article I was reading was what an awful country America...
	And this was 10 years ago, you know, before they started hollering and screaming like they are now.
	And I just got pissed.
	Can you say that on the podcast?
	And I was just steaming.
	I was just steaming for about...
	Three or four minutes, and then all of a sudden I broke out laughing.
	It's a true story.
	I broke out laughing because I remembered something that my old pal, the other John that I love, John Cash, he used to call me the Pilgrim.
	One time he told me a long time ago, he said, Pilgrim?
	Something makes you mad enough, boy, you'll damn sure write a song about it.
	So I did, J.R. I'm going to sing it for these folks.
	They have fed hungry people.
	They have clothed people who didn't have clothes.
	They've built a shelter for people sleeping out in the cold.
	They've done all the good things good people are supposed to do.
	Who are these good people?
	Americans, that's who.
	They have freed millions of people from the tyranny of evil men.
	They've handed the government back into the people's hands.
	You won't read much about it in the New York Times.
	I'm telling you it's true.
	Who are these good people?
	Americans that's who.
	Glory, glory, hallelujah.
	Glory, Glory, glory, Hallelujah!
	They have left their wives and babies and husbands, marched headlong into hell.
	Left their wives and babies and children.
	Marched headlong into hell.
	So we could stand.
	There's something in there.
	I just got 75.
	So I could stand right up and tell you how I feel about it.
	What I know in my heart is true.
	Who are these good people?
	Americans, that's who.
	Hey, if you're a veteran, would you stand up right now?
	If you're a veteran of our armed services, stand up.
	Wave your hand.
	Sing it for them now.
	Glory, glory, hallelujah.
	We appreciate you.
	Greek club.
	Hallelujah.
	Who are these good people?
	Who are they?
	Americans, that's who?
	Americans, that's who?
	Boom!
	There you go, ladies and gentlemen.
	I love y'all.
	I love John Rich, his new music.
	Thank God.
	Hey, let me tell you something.
	Let me tell you something.
	I believe this in my heart.
	I really do.
	And I never thought about it until right this minute.
	There are more of us than there are of them.
	There really are.
	Don't forget that.
	You're not alone out there.
	I love you, John Rich.
	God bless you guys.
	Thanks for coming to Turd Stock 2023.
	I hope you had a good time.
	On the count of three, give me a yee-haw.
	Say one, two, three.
	Yee-haw!
	Mr.
	Cat Turd up on the stage.
	Hey, but before we leave, we have to do something for the liberals here, so I brought him all the way.
	Hey, hey, hey, let's moon the sumbitches.
	So my liberal cousin, hip turd, is here tonight.
	So let's bring him up on the stage for a minute.
	My liberal cousin, Hip Turd, is here.
	I brought my liberal cousin hip turd.
	I got to be representative too.
	So here.
	There you go.
	Yeah.
	Hey, hey, hey.
	There you go.
	Hey, for real, was that the most incredible music?
	Was that fun?
	Intimate crowd?
	When we do Turdstock 2024, it's going to be like Willy Wonka's golden tickets trying to get them down.
	Hey, we just wanted to give you guys a night to relax.
	I mean, it's stressful.
	We all go through all this stressful stuff, and thanks so much for coming out.
	Thank you!
	And I promise you guys just saw the show of your lifetime right then.
	I'm a musician.
	That's the best music thing I've ever seen in my life right there.
	And I'm not kidding.
	Thank you once again.
	And I love you all.
	I'm going to be hanging out.
	Let's have a drink.
	Let's celebrate America.
	Let's have a good time.
	Good night, everybody.
	Good night.

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