June 9, 2017 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin
04:52
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| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| What a shit show that was. | |
| And thanks very much, Teresa. | |
| This tweet aged well, didn't it? | |
| Tories win majority on pro-Brexit platform. | |
| Labour suffer humiliating defeat. | |
| Corbyn forced to resign. | |
| After a consistent and apparently unstoppable decline in the Labour Party's fortunes due to the Labour Party being fucking useless. | |
| And precisely one month before the Conservative manifesto was released. | |
| The mayors will have just read, We need to drink your blood to sustain us. | |
| You have George Osborne saying that that is the worst manifesto he's ever seen. | |
| I mean, let's just go through a few points. | |
| Fox hunting. | |
| Oh, yeah, that's something the British public fucking love. | |
| Oh, don't forget the ivory trade. | |
| They don't give a shit about elephants. | |
| What about targeting old people? | |
| Oh, they'll just call it a dementia tax. | |
| Don't worry, no bad optics on that. | |
| Hey, you haven't done anything to kids yet? | |
| What are you going to do? | |
| Take away the free lunches. | |
| Why? | |
| Because you're a bunch of bloody penny pinchers. | |
| Oh, you've got some problem with terrorists. | |
| Do you know what you should do? | |
| Remove internet security. | |
| Is that going to work? | |
| No, it's not going to fucking work. | |
| Is it even possible? | |
| Of course it's fucking not. | |
| But we're going to try and do it anyway. | |
| And if anyone gets in our way, we're going to scrap our dedication to human rights. | |
| In my defense, I'd just like to say I don't think anyone expected that manifesto to be as cancerous as it was. | |
| And obviously it was completely indefensible, which is why you didn't want to do any of the fucking debates. | |
| There was nothing to win on and everything to get fucking shafted on. | |
| The country needs more than ever is certainty. | |
| And having secured the largest number of votes and the greatest number of seats in the general election, it is clear that only the Conservative and Unionist Party has the legitimacy and ability to provide that certainty by commanding a majority in the House of Commons. | |
| This will allow us to come together as a country and channel our energies towards a successful Brexit deal that works for everyone in this country. | |
| The only way you would look any more like a vampire is if someone photoshopped sharp teeth in your mouth. | |
| You are getting into bed with now an anti-gay party, just so you know. | |
| And you nearly lost to a gaggle of incompetent socialists. | |
| Corbyn is so stupid, he thinks he fucking won. | |
| We are ready to do everything we can to put our program into operation. | |
| There isn't a parliamentary majority for anybody at the present time. | |
| The party that has lost in this election is the Conservative Party. | |
| The arguments the Conservative Party put forward in this election have lost. | |
| I think we need a change. | |
| That's not quite true, is it? | |
| Labour is the party that lost. | |
| We gained seats in every region of the country. | |
| We won 3 million more votes on a much higher turnout. | |
| I think that is a pretty good result. | |
| The man's a moron. | |
| Look at this expression. | |
| That's not quite true, is it? | |
| Labour is the party that lost. | |
| We gain seats in every region. | |
| He hasn't even come to terms with the fact he hasn't fucking won. | |
| But he's right. | |
| He did gain seats in every region and you lost 12 seats because you were absolutely terrible. | |
| Although this isn't actually a victory for Jeremy Corbyn, it is a symbolic victory for him and socialism because you cocked up. | |
| There is a conspiracy theory going around that Theresa May, being a Remainer, deliberately messed up this election in order to stymie Brexit. | |
| I don't believe that because of this goddamn face. | |
| This is not the face of someone who has managed to do something on purpose. | |
| This is the face of someone who fucked up. | |
| But don't worry, Teresa, it's not like you fucked up anything important. | |
| It's only the future of the country that's at stake. | |
| Not a problem. | |
| You can probably squeeze in another little drop or two of evil into your stupid manifesto, can't you? | |
| You may as well fucking earn alloy with Satan himself. | |
| What difference does it make at this fucking point? | |
| The negotiations should be put on hold until the government has reassessed its priorities and set them out to the British public. | |
| The British people have the right to expect that our Prime Minister will explain to them what it is that she seeks to achieve. | |
| That's just brilliant, isn't it, Theresa? | |
| I mean, it's only that you called this election because you thought you were going to win in a landslide to strengthen your hand for the Brexit negotiations, and now you have the Liberal Democrats grandstanding on your corpse. | |
| But I guess at least one good thing may well have come of this. | |
| If, in your view, the country needs UKIP more than ever, for the reasons you've given, that's your view, doesn't it mean that UKIP needs you more than ever? | |
| Well, I admit I didn't involve myself in this election campaign. | |
| Let's put it like this. |
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