Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin - Why Do People Hate #Feminism？ #7 - Male Feminists

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Oct. 27, 2015 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin

14:42

Why Do People Hate #Feminism？ #7 - Male Feminists

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	I was appointed as Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women six months ago.
	And the more I've spoken about feminism, the more I have realized that fighting for women's rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating.
	But my recent research has shown me that feminism has become an unpopular word.
	Why has the word become such an uncomfortable one?
	Hello and welcome to the seventh episode of Why Does Everyone Hate Feminism.
	In this episode, we will be discussing the male feminist, possibly the most pathetic thing to have ever crawled across God's green earth.
	Now, despite feminism appearing to be a man-hating supremacy movement, there are indeed men who think they should become feminists too.
	And it's not by any sort of accident.
	Men.
	I would like to take this opportunity to extend your formal invitation.
	Not in the slightest, in fact.
	There are famous feminists who are inviting men to join feminism like lambs to the slaughter and they're being applauded for it.
	But why do these men become feminists?
	Well, while they have many, many, many different rationales for this, these broadly fit into three overarching and often overlapping themes.
	The first and easiest to explain is that they aren't really very good at being men.
	They're very effeminate, they're very camp, they're not masculine, and so being a feminist is pandering directly to self-interest.
	I need feminism because in a world governed by the current gender roles applied to men and women, I would not be very successful at that.
	If all of a sudden I found myself time-traveled back into the 1950s being married with two kids, having to provide for the family, having to make all the decisions completely for everyone in the house, oh god, I would not do well at that at all.
	I'm shy, I'm passive, I'm definitely not good at making decisions for other people.
	That would be bad news, bears.
	I need feminism because I'm not very good at being a traditional man.
	Feminine.
	As cringe-inducing as that was, it's at least easy to see why people like this guy need feminism.
	He probably would benefit a great deal by tearing down the current gender paradigm.
	The second type of male feminist is the type who is simply really well-meaning.
	He just is so, so sorry that he ever caused you any inconvenience.
	No, I'm not a feminist.
	I just believe in equal rights is something I said about a year ago.
	Little did I know that is feminist.
	A couple of years ago, I used to make a podcast called the Man Time Podcast.
	Ironically named, this isn't the best way to start a conversation about feminism.
	I used to make a podcast exclusively for men, but we did used to make jokes about feminism and stuff like that.
	And I used to have the opinion, bloody feminists and things like that.
	These are the things I used to say.
	And it doesn't feel like it's me anymore.
	And if you're offended by the way I used to be, I apologize.
	Not only do these guys all look like they're from the same upper middle class family, they are so sorry.
	They are just so sorry.
	They cannot apologize enough.
	When you're trying to be a good ally, there are going to be times when you slip up without even realizing it.
	That's fine, as long as when someone points out to you, you apologize and try and change your behavior.
	Now, don't be mistaken, there's no way that these guys have ever actually done something wrong.
	They are far too worried about potentially doing something wrong or even potentially offending someone to actually have any legitimate guilt.
	These are the really nice, really soft types who are afraid of asserting themselves in any way, shape, or form.
	They don't want to leave an impression on the world because the world might not have wanted them to do so.
	These are the guys who are completely harmless.
	The third type of male feminist is the male feminist that has done something wrong and feels guilty about it.
	And so to expunge the guilt, they have to convert you to the religion of feminism.
	Which of course means that the best place to find the guilty male feminist is in the atheism plus movement.
	If you are not a feminist, you are a sexist by definition.
	That was atheism plus heavyweight Aaron Ra attempting to just simply assert that if you do not claim you're a feminist, then you must be a sexist.
	Why?
	Because he is afraid that he is a sexist, and he wants to make sure that he isn't by declaring himself a feminist.
	I was raised in a very sexist environment, but I don't think I was ever sexist myself.
	Although it may be that we all are, and it's just a matter of degree.
	My wife describes me as roaringly heterosexual and unvisually stimulated as men typically are.
	So I have objectified sexual apartments.
	I'll admit to that.
	So he thinks that we're all sexist to a degree and that there's something wrong with objectifying a willing partner.
	Aaron Rahr is not alone in confessing his own sexism.
	I think you are secretly sexist, and you probably won't put this in the video, but...
	Well, no, I mean, I wouldn't...
	Take a look at your bookshelf.
	Take a look at your music.
	My music collection.
	I always give you crap about that because it's true.
	I mean, I didn't ask you because I wanted to deny that I have sexist attitudes.
	I know that I admit, but you admit it, so therefore.
	And since I admit it, it's okay.
	Well, I'm really glad I'm not Steve Shives here.
	Or at all.
	But anyway, this is why these Atheism Plus guys have become feminists.
	They need to cast out the demons of sexism because they feel guilty about it.
	They shouldn't be sexist.
	They know it.
	But they know that they are sexist.
	And what else could they do than become feminists?
	Because, as Aaron Ra said...
	If you are not a feminist, you are a sexist, by definition.
	As I said earlier, there is definite crossover between these three groups.
	I actually wrote a script for a video I was going to make on feminism about a year ago, and I actually said that being a feminist takes bulls.
	I had no idea how problematic that language was until a friend pointed it out to me, which just goes to show that even when you're actively trying to do good, you can still be oppressive.
	And all you need to do is apologize.
	This is what being an intersectional feminist is all about.
	Now, I don't need to think that these guys are necessarily bad people for what they're doing.
	A lot of them were raised this way.
	I was strongly conditioned, and this actually took effect with me.
	I was strongly conditioned to react violently against homosexuals.
	So in a lot of ways, it is actually kind of admirable for a lot of these guilt-ridden male feminists to need to be feminists and to project that feminism onto other people.
	It's a way for them to overcome the programming that they suffered from as a child.
	And I suppose if I had a message to any male feminists watching this who suffer from this kind of guilt, I just want to point out that not everyone was conditioned to be a sexist or a homophobe or a racist.
	However, as I said, these are the well-meaning ones, the ones that haven't really done anything wrong.
	The ones that at worst have committed a thought crime against feminism and, well, they're just trying to pray the gay, I mean, pray the sexism away.
	However, there are male feminists who have committed real crimes against women, and these are the ones who are the most vitriolic in their hatred towards non-feminists.
	You have a lot of people on here who attempt to be bullies.
	And like I said, one of these days, I am going to find a way to fuck you over for what you did, one way or the other.
	If it's the last fucking thing I do, okay?
	Either they were bullied and now they found a chance to bully someone else, or they've always been bullies and they just keep on doing it.
	I am hostile, and I am spoiling for a fucking fight.
	Okay, Phil?
	I don't give a fuck who you are, Phil.
	I will knock your dick in the dirt if I have to.
	This was a message from YouTube user Hannibal the Victor13 to Thunderfoot, specifically in regards to Thunderfoot's position on feminism.
	Now, you might wonder why would he be so angry?
	Well, I'm not really sure.
	Hannibal isn't a massive fan of Anita Sarkeesian, the feminist that Thunderfoot most often criticizes.
	So it turns out that Hannibal the Victor 13's real name is Jared, and Jared has a criminal charge against him from 2004, when he attempted to sexually assault a teenage girl.
	Given the amount of guilt he must feel, I am not surprised.
	He is so militant against his chosen targets.
	But the thing is, despite Emma Watson's kindly invitation...
	Men.
	I would like to take this opportunity to extend your formal invitation.
	We need to consider whether men can even be feminists, and what female feminists think of this.
	On Tumblr, I've spoken about this sort of thing before, about how I see myself as a feminist, but I got told that I can't be a feminist because it's a movement for women by women.
	And I think that's quite a backwards way of thinking.
	I'm happy to be told I'm wrong.
	I'm always happy to be told that my viewpoint is misconstrued.
	I'm always happy to put my hands up and say sorry.
	Of course you are, buddy.
	You're a male feminist.
	But let's ask some female feminists.
	So on everydayfeminism.com, I found an article called, Men Should Be Feminists, But Should They Call Themselves Feminists?
	It already feels like we're walking on a tightrope, doesn't it?
	Well, our author says that in short, she's skeptical of the legitimacy of men calling themselves feminists.
	She thinks, of course, that men can be useful to feminism, possibly because they are vested in privilege.
	But she's wary of men calling themselves feminists because she thinks that a lot more accountability could be made of feminist men.
	Well, what does that mean?
	Well, it's a good question that she can't answer.
	She can just ask more questions.
	What exactly should be expected of men who call themselves feminists?
	Well, don't just be a nice guy, because being a nice guy just isn't enough.
	And certainly, do not regard sex as the ultimate goal of interacting with women.
	That's the worst thing a nice guy can do.
	Except, of course, for complaining that women only date assholes.
	That's the worst, worst thing a nice guy can do.
	And don't expect to be thanked for your efforts.
	The patron saint of feminism herself was shat on by internet feminists for saying that some of the best feminists are men.
	How very dare she.
	And as we've already said, don't go expecting that your sex life is going to improve.
	In fact, it's probably going to get a lot worse.
	Not only are there a lot of guys out there who think that they should be very forward about saying that I'm not one of those guys, I would never do that, to a rape survivor, but they seem to think that they should be carrying gold stars or something because of it.
	Honestly, even if they're supportive, even if they say all the right things, and really want to discuss my job, it makes me feel weird about hooking up with them, says Sophie Karasek, a recent UC Berkeley graduate and founder of End Rape on Campus.
	It's like, oh, we were just talking about rape, and now we're going to hook up.
	It's just weird.
	And I'm sure you don't want to weird the ladies out, Mr. Male Feminist.
	But the thing is, it might be too late.
	There are plenty of feminists out there who say they will not date another male feminist.
	In theory, it sounds excellent, but apparently there's something about an insecure blubbering manlet who is constantly apologising to alleviate the raging shame of his own guilt just for a remote chance of getting his dick wet that really turns a woman off.
	From the man who opened a text conversation with a photo of his naked chest and encouraged me to reciprocate in the name of the free the nipple movement, to the fellow who agonised over accepting a blowjob because despite enjoying them, he found the act simply too degrading to let me perform.
	Dating male feminists turned out to be one of the least empowering decisions I have ever made.
	There really is more water in the desert, isn't there?
	But the ultimate destination for the relationships of a feminist man is to become cuckolded in an open marriage.
	As I write this, my children are asleep in their room.
	Loretta Lynn is on the stereo and my wife is out on a date with a man named Paolo.
	It's her second date this week, her fourth this month so far, and if it goes like the others, she'll come home in the middle of the night, crawl onto bed beside me and tell me about how she and Paolo had sex.
	I won't explode with anger or seethe with resentment.
	I'll tell her it's a hot story and I'm glad she had fun.
	It's hot because she's excited and I'm glad because I am a feminist.
	But it's not like it doesn't go both ways.
	He says I too enjoy sexual carte blanche.
	I just don't use mine as much as my wife uses hers.
	Or possibly you can't use yours as much as your wife can use hers.
	Feel free to refer back to the images of the Sahara Desert if it's not clear why that is.
	And this is because of feminism.
	Monogamy meant I controlled her sexual expression, and not to get all women's studies major about it, patriarchal oppression essentially boils down to a man's fear that a woman with sexual agency is a woman he can't control.
	Before my wife started sleeping with other men, I certainly considered myself a feminist, but I really only understood it in the abstract.
	When my wife told me she wanted to open our marriage and take other lovers, she wasn't rejecting me, she was embracing herself.
	When I understood that, I finally became a feminist.
	Jealousy is actually kind of an interesting topic because usually when we talk about jealousy, we're talking about somebody who has something that you don't.

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