Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin - Male Privilege as Experienced by Women Aired: 2015-06-12 Duration: 28:32 === Two-Inch Privilege (10:48) === [00:00:00] You know, I have seen some phenomenal bullshit in my time, but very little compares to some of the crap that comes out of BuzzFeed. [00:00:10] In particular, this article. [00:00:13] 25 examples of male privilege from a trans guy's perspective. [00:00:17] A short list of the everyday ways people have changed their behaviour towards me for no logical reason whatsoever. [00:00:24] Via everyday feminism. [00:00:25] Oh, I'm not sensing any confirmation bias in this article. [00:00:30] It's not like this isn't going to tell the feminists everything they fucking want to hear. [00:00:36] Let's get started. [00:00:37] Quite a bit changed for me over the first couple of years I started testosterone. [00:00:41] My health and mental well-being improved. [00:00:43] My happy button, clitoris, grew over an inch in length. [00:00:48] Wow. [00:00:48] Okay, so you've got, what, a two inch long clitoris now? [00:00:53] Does that count as a penis? [00:00:55] I'm not sure how these things work. [00:00:58] My natural musk became so fragrant that now I gross even myself out if I don't shower pretty much every day. [00:01:06] No deodorant can contain this beast. [00:01:08] Yes, men have to shower every day or else they smell. [00:01:11] So many awesome big deal body changes and mind improvements flourished. [00:01:16] Then there were smaller, odder things. [00:01:18] I finally gained an appreciation for peanut butter and chocolate. [00:01:21] My favourite colour went from blue to green. [00:01:24] My most hated school subject suddenly became a favourite pastime. [00:01:28] Well, if it helps, you still write like you're a woman. [00:01:31] In short, I was being treated better by everyday America because people were reading me as a young white straight male and I recognized my many new privileges that came my way because of it. [00:01:42] It's if this was all true, it makes you wonder why so many other feminists don't just choose to become male. [00:01:48] Alrighty, let's have a look at these privileges. [00:01:51] Number one, I'm suddenly funny. [00:01:53] I've always been dry, sarcastic and satirical with my humour. [00:01:56] In the olden times, I was considered unfunny at best and a bitch at worst. [00:02:01] Now that I'm a short white guy, people automatically peg me for a comedian and laugh at the bulk of my mouth things. [00:02:08] Maybe they're not laughing with you. [00:02:10] Maybe they're laughing at you. [00:02:13] But nothing has changed. [00:02:15] I've even recycled some of my old material that people didn't find funny just to make sure. [00:02:19] Again, maybe they're just laughing at you, not your jokes. [00:02:23] But, you know, I'll let, you know, I'm going to give you the benefit of that. [00:02:27] I'm sure that suddenly you're funny. [00:02:29] Maybe there is a bias against women comedians. [00:02:31] Maybe there is. [00:02:32] I mean, maybe that's why the BBC have put in female quotas for their comedy programmes. [00:02:39] Because, you know, women are really funny. [00:02:41] It's just that everyone's really biased against women. [00:02:44] And so the best way to fix this is to force it on people. [00:02:47] I know that this is in the UK and you're in America, but how different can it really be? [00:02:51] Number two, yet I'm still taken more seriously. [00:02:55] I'm amazed at the amount of people that now immediately shut their mouths the second I open mine. [00:03:00] Believe me, my ideas haven't improved at all. [00:03:03] I believe you. [00:03:04] I've even tried to derail serious conversations with ludicrous stuff just to see what would happen and I'd still be regarded highly. [00:03:11] I don't believe you, because I know from seeing it that short men aren't really taken all that seriously. [00:03:19] In fact, most of them are heavily bullied in school. [00:03:21] And we end up with something that's called short man syndrome that scientists have actually found really does exist. [00:03:28] So I think you're talking shit. [00:03:31] Number three, I rarely get interrupted. [00:03:34] I used to be interrupted so often while presenting as a woman that I in turn started to talk over people as a form of conversational survival. [00:03:41] I believe you. [00:03:42] I totally believe that's the case. [00:03:44] And it's not just a bad excuse for interrupting people constantly. [00:03:48] But you know what? [00:03:48] I'm sure this doesn't happen at all now. [00:03:50] Whenever the short guy is about to speak, everyone's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, the short guy's about to speak. [00:03:55] Let's all be quiet and listen. [00:03:56] Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of the way this sort of dynamic goes, but let's be honest with ourselves for a second, shall we? [00:04:02] Number four, I get paid more. [00:04:05] The proof is in my paychecks. [00:04:08] Actual numerical proof. [00:04:11] Wow. [00:04:12] I can't believe you expect everyone to believe this This is are you saying that one day you were like, oh hey boss I need tomorrow off because I'm gonna go get my sex change into a man And your boss was like, oh, oh, really? [00:04:26] Okay, what I'll do is I'll get your pay increased as well then. [00:04:29] And you're like, oh, thanks. [00:04:30] You came in after the operation and your boss's like, yeah, you've got 23% extra pay now. [00:04:35] Just because of your two-inch dick. [00:04:37] And you know, I don't know whether you've been paying attention, but young women are actually out-earning young men now. [00:04:42] So not only are you obviously talking shit, but you've also probably screwed yourself out of future earnings. [00:04:48] But hey, money isn't everything, is it? [00:04:50] You know, peace of mind is much more important. [00:04:53] Number five, it's easier for me to be poor. [00:04:56] Aside from usually getting paid more, sorry, we've established that that's not the case. [00:05:00] It's been easier to find work when the person doing the hiring is a white guy. [00:05:04] It's like helping out a buddy or something. [00:05:07] Hang on, hang on. [00:05:08] Is this how women work? [00:05:10] Because I'm telling you now, this is certainly not how men work. [00:05:13] So I don't know where you're getting this impression from. [00:05:16] I can only imagine that this is projection. [00:05:20] But you know what? [00:05:20] I really hope that what you're saying is true because if you're a man, you are in fact far more likely to be exceedingly impoverished and in fact homeless. [00:05:28] So I really hope there is some kind of buddy system for white men because there clearly is already one for women. [00:05:34] Number six, my clothing is more practical and better made and longer lasting and cheaper and less judged. [00:05:40] What was stopping you as a woman from wearing jeans and t-shirt? [00:05:44] Nothing. [00:05:45] Oh, well there we go then. [00:05:47] Number seven, I get a ton of free passes. [00:05:50] Oh, oh do go on. [00:05:52] For the record, I've never done anything horrific enough to invoke the all-saving phrase of boys will be boys. [00:05:59] Are you saying you've never raped anyone with your two inch penis? [00:06:03] Because I tell you, you get to the courtroom and the judge is like, excuse me, did you rape that woman? [00:06:08] You just shrug your shoulders, give the judge a little smile and go, yeah, but boys will be boys. [00:06:13] And the judge is like, ah, get out of here, you joker. [00:06:17] Believe it or not, you fucking lunatic. [00:06:20] The phrase boys will be boys is only an excuse that's valid when a child has, say, broken something while they were running around the house or scuffed their knee or got into a fight with a school friend or something like that. [00:06:32] It is not a phrase that saves people from having done something quote horrific. [00:06:39] You fucking idiot. [00:06:41] But you say that while I was getting into tons of trouble for the smallest thing through school in my earliest jobs, these days I can't recall a single time that I've been called out or reprimanded. [00:06:49] Well, okay, for a start, when you're a kid, when you were young, maybe you were just doing lots of things that were wrong, and now that you're older, you're not. [00:06:58] But secondly, bullshit. [00:07:00] Do you want to know who actually gets let off after doing things that could be considered horrific? [00:07:06] That's right. [00:07:07] Women. [00:07:08] Women get a fucking free pass, you psycho. [00:07:11] Whether it's domestic violence or sexual abuse, women are getting much more lenient treatment by design. [00:07:19] And if by some miracle a woman is sentenced to jail, a man who has committed the same crime will get a sentence that is 63% longer. [00:07:31] So I really hope that transitioning into a short man with a two-inch penis is going to pay off for you. [00:07:38] I really do. [00:07:39] Number eight, I'm not held accountable for keeping rape from happening. [00:07:44] I remember all of the rape prevention education I got, which always focused on how I should behave, where I should walk when, how to appropriately cover my drink, and so on. [00:07:53] These days I'm told nothing, not even not to rape. [00:07:57] Um, objection. [00:07:59] You're implying here that men don't get raped, but they do, so what you're saying is in fact a bad thing. [00:08:04] But not only that, but not only that, teach men not to rape is a phrase shrieked so incessantly by hyperactive feminists that other women are writing articles saying, look, can we just turn off the outrage machine, please? [00:08:18] Because ultimately, men who rape already know it's bad. [00:08:24] The problem is that some people will commit crimes even though they know it's against the law. [00:08:31] I know, I know, it's crazy, but it's been happening since time immemorial, and I don't think it's going to change anytime soon. [00:08:39] Bafflingly though, universities are still adopting mandatory consent courses, as if this is going to fix the fucking problem. [00:08:47] Because modern universities appear to be staffed exclusively by imbeciles and attended exclusively by cretins. [00:08:53] Number nine, I'm very likely to arrive home safely after walking alone at night. [00:08:57] Well, so are women. [00:08:58] They're very likely to arrive home safely. [00:09:01] Assuming nobody is out looking to fag bash, okay, well stop you there. [00:09:04] That implies that people don't know you're a fucking man, or at least are aware that you're not a standard heterosexual cisgendered man. [00:09:13] But it remains that I walk alone at night far more than I used to purely because I'm a dude. [00:09:17] I put up my hoodie and people have even been known to cross the sidewalk to avoid passing me. [00:09:22] You know what's funny about this is that the statistics are not in your favour. [00:09:25] Again, in the UK outside the home, men make up over two-thirds of murder victims. [00:09:30] And in the US, this number is even higher with men making up 77% of homicide victims. [00:09:37] Seriously, you're a fucking idiot. [00:09:39] You're more likely to be killed now that you have become a man. [00:09:42] Well done. [00:09:43] Number 10. [00:09:44] I don't have to worry about keeping an eye on my drink at parties. [00:09:47] Unless it's at a gay venue. [00:09:48] God, you're just constantly gay bashing, aren't you? [00:09:51] Where there seem to be some questionable creepy chicken hawks around, drink safety doesn't even cross my mind anymore. [00:09:58] Well, that doesn't mean it shouldn't cross your mind anymore, because it's not like men have never fallen prey to date rape drug gangs or anything. [00:10:06] Although, admittedly, this does happen in gay venues a lot more often than it happens in straight venues, to men at least. [00:10:13] Number 11. [00:10:14] I'm not told by strangers or anyone else to smile. [00:10:17] Not once has it happened since. [00:10:19] Not once. [00:10:20] Well, you know what? [00:10:21] Good for you. [00:10:22] This is the one area so far that you've mentioned that men have got a categoric advantage. [00:10:27] No one tells me to smile either. [00:10:28] I've never seen another man tell another man not to smile. [00:10:31] That's not true, actually. [00:10:32] I have seen that. === Male Privilege Paradox (11:36) === [00:10:34] Okay, I've got nothing. [00:10:36] I'll just give it. [00:10:37] You know what? [00:10:37] We'll pretend that nobody has ever said that to a man. [00:10:40] No man has ever said that to a man in jest or anything like that. [00:10:44] Because, you know, it'll make you feel better, I'm sure. [00:10:48] Number 12. [00:10:48] I don't have strangers giving uninvited opinions about my body as I pass by. [00:10:53] Or then expecting me to thank them for it. [00:10:55] Again, not once has this happened in the usual everyday world. [00:10:58] Well, how about this? [00:11:00] Try getting fat. [00:11:01] See if it happens then. [00:11:02] Number 13. [00:11:03] I'm allowed to have body hair. [00:11:05] Enough said. [00:11:06] Well, if only there was a social movement that was petitioning for women to not be ashamed of having body hair. [00:11:12] Can't think of what movement that'd be, though. [00:11:14] Just, if only, if only. [00:11:17] Number 14. [00:11:18] I'm allowed to grow old. [00:11:20] I think that's mandatory. [00:11:22] And likely will even be considered handsome or sophisticated because of it. [00:11:26] You know, I think that this is really one of those things, isn't it? [00:11:29] That, I guess, is the real difference between men and women. [00:11:32] I mean, men don't have this kind of innate beauty that the world scrambles for when they're young. [00:11:37] And they do grow in grace and gravitas as they grow older because they can't rely on their looks. [00:11:44] Or at least most of them can't rely on their looks to get by. [00:11:46] So they have to cultivate personality skills, charisma, charm, all these other sort of things that, well, a lot of women didn't have to cultivate because they had natural beauty. [00:11:58] And that leads to situations where you get people like Kirsten Scott's Thomas at 53 saying, well, men grow in gravitas while women just disappear. [00:12:06] Well, well, I mean, that's not always true, but gravitas is something you work on. [00:12:10] It's something that you gain as you gain skills and experience. [00:12:14] It's not just handed to you. [00:12:17] And if you didn't cultivate it yourself, then you won't have it. [00:12:21] And when the good looks that made your career disappear, then you may well find yourself standing in a room full of younger, more attractive women wondering why people aren't paying attention to you. [00:12:34] Number 15. [00:12:35] I'm allowed to eat without being policed. [00:12:37] I'm actually still really damn skinny. [00:12:39] Hey, that's fat shaming. [00:12:41] But people no longer do things like judge me about what I'm eating or ask if I should be eating at all. [00:12:46] Why would people say this to a really skinny person of either gender? [00:12:50] But okay, let's presume they do. [00:12:52] This is again another one that I'll give you. [00:12:54] Yes, it is better for a man because no one is concerned about a man getting fat. [00:12:59] No one cares. [00:13:00] Number 16. [00:13:01] My abilities speak louder than my appearances at work. [00:13:04] Hey, this really harks back to number 14, doesn't it? [00:13:07] When I work on-site gigs, I tend to just wear jeans and a t-shirt. [00:13:11] Nobody cares. [00:13:11] It's all about the quality of my work. [00:13:14] Yes, it is. [00:13:15] Yes, it is. [00:13:16] It is a very rare and exceptionally good-looking man who can coast by in life on his looks. [00:13:23] It really is. [00:13:24] Unlike with merely a reasonably attractive woman, men have to validate themselves by the quality of their work in every sphere they are in. [00:13:33] Number 17. [00:13:34] The bulk of porn is made with me in mind. [00:13:37] Well, duh, that's how the free market works. [00:13:39] If women were the primary consumers of porn, then most porn would be made with women in mind. [00:13:45] But even lesbian porn is often geared towards the male gaze. [00:13:49] Again, if lesbians were the primary consumer of lesbian porn. [00:13:54] Number 18. [00:13:55] Older white guys treat me like a best friend, especially when I have to wear professional slacks and a tie. [00:14:01] I've been amazed at how many strangers happily strike up conversation with me in this kind of fatherly way. [00:14:07] Their smiles are warm, their eyes are bright, and they seem eager to bestow any wisdom upon me that I could ever think to ask. [00:14:14] It's like I'm automatically their patriarchal protégé or something. [00:14:18] Now, I found this really baffling the first time I read it. [00:14:21] I thought, what? [00:14:22] This is not a universal male experience. [00:14:24] Older men don't try and talk to me as if they're my father or anything. [00:14:28] But then it occurred to me that I don't need them to, and they can probably tell that. [00:14:32] And then it occurred to me that they're probably taking pity on our short, skinny, transsexual man. [00:14:40] Because honestly, this person is probably, if there is male privilege, I very much doubt this person is actually benefiting from it at all. [00:14:50] Apart from being transgendered, this person could be describing this guy, and listen to what he has to say. [00:14:56] So why do I, a dude, need feminism, right? [00:14:58] I stand to benefit a lot from the current power structures of the genders, right? [00:15:02] A lot. [00:15:02] And these are my selfish reasons for needing feminism. [00:15:05] I need feminism because in a world governed by the current gender roles applied to men and women, I would not be very successful at that. [00:15:12] If all of a sudden I found myself time-traveled back into the 1950s, being married with two kids, having to provide for the family, having to make all the decisions completely for everyone in the house, oh god, I would not do well at that at all. [00:15:23] I'm shy, I'm passive, I'm definitely not good at making decisions for other people. [00:15:27] That would be bad news bears. [00:15:29] The family would fall the freak apart. [00:15:31] Bad news bears indeed. [00:15:33] My point is that being male is not enough to be a man. [00:15:38] And frankly, being small, skinny, and effeminate probably isn't helping you on the road to being a man either. [00:15:44] So I suspect that these older men help you in a rather fatherly way out of the kindness of their heart because they're looking at you and thinking that you're probably failing at being a man and I guess they want to help. [00:15:57] Number 19. [00:15:58] I can be a gamer without worry of being threatened, insulting or demeaned. [00:16:02] The gaming industry is still very much a man's world. [00:16:05] Female characters are frequently sexualized, brutalized, and demeaned when they're represented at all, right along with the female gamers themselves. [00:16:13] Well. [00:16:14] It turns out that men are harassed more than women online, including in games, so you've got that to look forward to. [00:16:20] And since you're no longer a woman, you're going to have to pretend to be a woman in online games if you want to continue receiving all that free loot. [00:16:27] Number 20. [00:16:28] My comfort comes before anyone else's. [00:16:31] Nobody expects me to sacrifice a thing for them anymore. [00:16:35] Are you fucking kidding? [00:16:37] A, you're not married, clearly. [00:16:39] And B, you're not on a sinking ship. [00:16:41] So, yes. [00:16:44] We're going to go on to the next one. [00:16:46] 21. [00:16:46] I have significantly less sexual liability. [00:16:50] I can now have as much sex with as many people as I want and nobody says boo about it. [00:16:55] Well, you know, if you get your average woman into bed and you flop out your two-incher, you're not gonna be getting as much sex as you think. [00:17:06] And also, you don't know what child support and alimony is, do you? [00:17:11] Not, of course, that you're ever going to actually have to pay child support. [00:17:15] 22. [00:17:16] I'm allowed to take up space and lots of it. [00:17:19] If I feel like spreading out on public transportation, nobody, regardless of gender, tells me to move over anymore. [00:17:28] They just act like I have the full right to be obnoxious. [00:17:31] Please note that I've only ever done this for experimental purposes. [00:17:34] Well, I have to tell you that the police will do something about this. [00:17:38] You will in fact be arrested. [00:17:40] You fucking liar. [00:17:42] 23. [00:17:42] I'm not subjected to soft sexism. [00:17:45] Being asked to grab someone their coffee or help decorate a work party or help clean up said party is simply a thing of the past. [00:17:53] You know what, that might be true. [00:17:54] Let's assume that none of these things have ever happened to any man anywhere nor will ever happen. [00:18:00] But let's have a look at the things that, statistically speaking, very often happen to men. [00:18:05] So 97% of combat fatalities, yeah, that's bad. [00:18:08] 97% of phalimony, that's bad, but you'll probably be alright in both of those. [00:18:12] 94% of work suicides, well, maybe. [00:18:15] I wouldn't rule that out. [00:18:16] 93% of work fatalities, hey, that's definitely something that's a risk for you now. [00:18:20] 81% of all war deaths? [00:18:22] Probably not, let's be fair. [00:18:23] Custody and 84% of divorces? [00:18:25] Probably not going to be your problem. [00:18:27] 80% of all suicides are men. [00:18:29] Well, you are now in that category. [00:18:31] 77% of all homicides victims are men. [00:18:34] Again, you're in that category. [00:18:35] 89% of men will be the victim of at least one violent crime. [00:18:38] Just you wait. [00:18:40] Men are over twice as victimized by strangers as women. [00:18:43] Men are 165% more likely to be convicted than women, yep. [00:18:47] Men get 63% longer sentences than women for the same crime. [00:18:50] Court bias against men is at least six times bigger than racial bias. [00:18:53] Ooh. [00:18:54] Males are discriminated against in school and university. [00:18:57] That's true. [00:18:58] Boys face vastly more corporal punishment than girls, yeah. [00:19:01] 60 to 80% of the homeless are men, yep, that's true. [00:19:05] Women's cancers receive 15 times more funding than men's, so, you know, let's hope you don't get cancer, or at least cancer doesn't recognise your transition. [00:19:14] At least 10% of fathers are victims of paternity fraud. [00:19:17] Hey, that's probably not going to be your problem. [00:19:18] And one-third of all fathers in the USA have lost custody of children, and most are expected to pay for this. [00:19:23] Well, again, that's probably not your problem either. [00:19:25] So, you know, I mean, there are some things in this list of, you know, hard sexisms, not soft sexisms, that don't apply to you. [00:19:33] So that's okay. [00:19:35] That's just fine. [00:19:36] Number 24. [00:19:37] People think my successes have been made purely by my own gunchin. [00:19:41] Okay, I'm not even going to read the rest. [00:19:42] Do you know why that is? [00:19:44] I can tell you why that is. [00:19:46] There is not a straight white male quota anywhere. [00:19:51] Nobody is desperate to get straight white males into positions of wherever. [00:19:57] Any straight white male that is in any kind of position of authority or power or success has earned it. [00:20:04] There's fucking no other way for straight white men, which is why they all have so much fucking gravitas when they're older. [00:20:12] Believe it or not, this is actually a privilege, even though it's kind of a privilege in disguise, because you would think that all of these other people being given a leg up their whole lives is the privilege in itself, but it's not. [00:20:23] That's actually a drawback. [00:20:24] It doesn't teach them anything. [00:20:25] It doesn't make them better people. [00:20:27] It doesn't make them more skilled. [00:20:28] It doesn't make them more resilient. [00:20:29] Whereas straight white men, they've got to take the knocks, they've got to take the failures and disappointments and overcome them. [00:20:37] Read the poem If by Rudyard Kipling if you want to know what it's like to be a man. [00:20:42] And number 25, I can say the most ridiculous things imaginable and people will still think I'm right. [00:20:48] Seriously, I've tested this. [00:20:50] I wonder who the people you're talking to are. [00:20:54] Because I found, running my YouTube channel, if I say something wrong or stupid, the last thing that happens is people go, you know what? [00:21:02] It's fine. [00:21:02] He's a white male, so we'll take him at his word. [00:21:06] They call me a fucking idiot. [00:21:08] And you know why? [00:21:09] Because I've been a fucking idiot and I deserve it. [00:21:12] And so finally they say, I would go on, but you know, space issues. [00:21:16] Well, almost none of the things that you've said have actually been male privileges. [00:21:21] But the above examples poured out of me just about as fast as I could type them. [00:21:25] Yes, because you have indoctrinated yourself with this feminist bullshit. [00:21:29] And these are all the biases that you are trying to confirm. [00:21:32] These are all feminist talking points that you're like, oh yeah, this was true, this was true. [00:21:36] I'm just sure all of these things are true, even though, let's be fair, you've probably misinterpreted a lot of the things that have happened or frankly fucking fictionalized them out of whole cloth to suit your agenda. [00:21:48] Having been treated as both a man and a woman, stop you that. [00:21:51] I don't think you have actually been treated as a man. === Nora's Transformation (06:33) === [00:21:55] I think you have been treated as a transgender woman. [00:21:58] These privileges are glaringly obvious to me. [00:22:00] There are far, far too many to count. [00:22:02] Okay, well, you know what? [00:22:03] I'm a man, but I don't want you to take my word for that. [00:22:05] I don't want you to take my lived experiences as being representative of a man's lived experiences. [00:22:10] Let's ask another woman who has lived convincingly as a man and convinced other men that she is also male, shall we? [00:22:19] What Nora went through, or more accurately, what she became in the last two years, was a man. [00:22:25] Yeah, a little bit shorter on the top. [00:22:27] Okay. [00:22:27] No, Nora didn't get a sex change operation. [00:22:30] She did it the old-fashioned way with acting and a disguise. [00:22:35] At 5'10, 155 pounds, and wearing men's size 11 shoes, Nora was a natural. [00:22:42] So not only does Nora have the physical stature to be able to impersonate a man accurately, she went through a great deal of actual training and makeup artistry to look the part. [00:22:56] Growing up in the Midwest with her actress mother, lawyer father, and two older brothers, Nora was a tomboy with a flair for the dramatic. [00:23:04] She says she's still a tomboy and in fact is a lesbian living in Midtown Manhattan with her partner Lisa. [00:23:11] I think we can work with this. [00:23:12] Her transformation into the guy she calls Ned begins with a buzz cut, baggy man's clothes, and a two small sports bra to flatten her breasts. [00:23:21] She even wore a little padding in a jock strap. [00:23:24] I also try to think, well, what kind of guy is Ned and gets it? [00:23:27] For the rest, she enlisted the help of makeup artist Ryan McWilliams. [00:23:31] She just came to me and said, Ryan, I need to turn into a man. [00:23:35] The hair is small as we can make it, right? [00:23:37] And so they came up with a method of shredding braided wool into whisker-sized bits and gluing it onto her face. [00:23:44] Women have much stronger nasal resonances as well. [00:23:48] And then there's the theatrical component. [00:23:50] Ah, so just easy. [00:23:51] Tarzan out on your chest a little. [00:23:54] Ah, good. [00:23:56] Juilliard voice teacher Kate Murray coached Nora for months on a program of movement, breathing, and speaking. [00:24:03] I want you to be the best man you can be over. [00:24:05] All to incorporate some of the subtle and not so subtle characteristics of being a guy. [00:24:10] Notice what men do. [00:24:11] If they need to suddenly grab a taxi, hey, they just do that. [00:24:14] Whereas women will ask for a taxi instead of demand one. [00:24:18] And after all this preparation and training, Nora did look like a convincing man. [00:24:23] The transformation is complete. [00:24:25] She really does make a relatively convincing man. [00:24:28] You wouldn't look at this person and think that they were a woman, would you? [00:24:31] A bit baby-faced, maybe, but some guys are like that. [00:24:34] The book, Self-Made Man, is out today and is about Nora's 18 months living as Ned. [00:24:40] I wanted to enter male spheres of interest and see how men are with each other. [00:24:46] I wanted to make friends with men. [00:24:47] I wanted to know how male friendships work from the inside out. [00:24:51] I won't play you the whole 18-minute clip, obviously. [00:24:53] The link's in the description. [00:24:54] You'll be able to watch it for yourself. [00:24:56] And it's very, very interesting. [00:24:57] I do recommend that you do. [00:24:58] I'll just skip to her conclusion and what, after being 18 months of being a man, she thought and what she preferred, being a man or being a woman. [00:25:08] Does that kind of living in the skin of a man in the bar scene, in the dating scene, give you a different kind of respect for men? [00:25:16] It gives me a certain definite sympathy. [00:25:20] And I don't mean that there's any disrespect, but it just makes me understand what's going on. [00:25:27] Nora, as Ned, also went on about 30 dates with women, mostly arranging them on the internet. [00:25:33] Did you have any fun? [00:25:34] Rarely. [00:25:35] Rarely. [00:25:36] It was just an idea. [00:25:38] Yeah. [00:25:38] She says the pressure of Ned having to prove himself was grueling. [00:25:42] Nora was surprised that many women had no interest in a soft, vulnerable man. [00:25:47] My prejudice was that the ideal man is a woman in a man's body. [00:25:51] And I learned, no, that's really not. [00:25:53] There are a lot of women out there who really want a manly man. [00:25:56] If there are any feminists watching this, I hope you're paying attention. [00:26:00] Nora displays a remarkable capacity for empathy with the men that she's dealing with. [00:26:06] She really does. [00:26:07] Just watch this. [00:26:08] Nora thought the perfect end to her 18-month saga was to join a men-only therapy group, a place where guys tried to bond and show their emotions instead of hiding them. [00:26:18] They don't get to show the weakness. [00:26:20] They don't get to show the affection, especially with each other. [00:26:24] And so so often all of their emotions are shown in rage. [00:26:27] And they kept talking about their rage, often their rage toward women and what they would do physically and violently towards women. [00:26:34] Right. [00:26:34] A lot of this was blowing off steam. [00:26:36] It's sort of talking about the things that need to be said that you know you would never do. [00:26:40] I mean, you know, they would talk about fantasizing about chopping up their wives or something. [00:26:44] It's not that they would ever do that, but it was a way to get out the blackest thoughts. [00:26:49] See, she's not painting men as monsters, and she's also not painting men as some kind of class of ubermensch who are just sailing through life without a care in the world because the world is geared towards them. [00:27:03] The feminist impression of male privilege is wrong. [00:27:08] And a week later, checked into a hospital with severe depression. [00:27:12] Identity, she concluded, was not something to play around with. [00:27:15] When you mess around with that, you really mess around with something that you need that helps you to function. [00:27:21] And I found out that gender lives in your brain and it's something much more than costume. [00:27:28] And I really learned that the hard way. [00:27:30] I think it's really important to remember she was actually playing a convincing man that other men did not know was not a man. [00:27:38] And she found it rough going. [00:27:39] It wasn't easy. [00:27:42] Nora says she's healed now and glad to be rid of Ned. [00:27:46] But her views about men have changed forever. [00:27:49] Men are suffering. [00:27:50] They have different problems than women have, but they don't have it better. [00:27:54] They need our sympathy, they need our love, and they need each other more than anything else. [00:27:58] They need to be together. [00:28:00] Do you hear this, feminists? [00:28:02] This is a lesbian woman arguing that men need male-only spaces. [00:28:08] Just so we're clear as to what she's just said. [00:28:12] Do you think women understand what it's like to be a man? === Man's Perspective on Privilege (00:19) === [00:28:15] Not at all. [00:28:15] No clue. [00:28:16] No idea. [00:28:18] And there we have it. [00:28:19] Dear feminists, you don't know what it's like to be a man. [00:28:24] You don't know what you're talking about with regard to male privilege. [00:28:28] And this isn't coming from me, a man, who's telling you this.