Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin - Stop Perpetuating Rape Culture
Aired: 2015-04-08
Duration: 04:35


=== Never Walk Alone (03:49) ===

[00:00:00]  Hi!
[00:00:00]  Hi there!
[00:00:01]  I'm Anna Akana.
[00:00:02]  I'm Sargon.
[00:00:03]  Lovely to meet you.
[00:00:04]  And I'm here to help women everywhere not get raped.
[00:00:07]  That is a noble goal and I hope you achieve it.
[00:00:10]  Because it's totally our responsibility, right?
[00:00:13]  Right.
[00:00:14]  I mean, who else's responsibility could it conceivably be?
[00:00:19]  The best form of rape prevention is to assimilate yourself into society as a man.
[00:00:25]  I'm pretty sure you mean infiltrate society and not assimilate society?
[00:00:30]  Now I know what you're thinking.
[00:00:31]  Anna, rape does not just apply to women.
[00:00:33]  No, that's not what I was thinking.
[00:00:35]  I was thinking, what kind of inflated sense of entitlement must you have to think that it's someone else's responsibility for your personal safety?
[00:00:45]  Rape does not just apply to women.
[00:00:46]  This is true.
[00:00:47]  So to ensure the safety of your butt, spread a rumor that you yourself are a rapist, so other rapists will see you as a colleague.
[00:00:55]  Hey fellas, how them rapes have been lately?
[00:00:58]  What?
[00:00:58]  Yeah, you getting any good rapes, dog?
[00:01:00]  Yeah, we're busy right now.
[00:01:01]  Yeah.
[00:01:01]  Busy thinking about the rape.
[00:01:04]  Hey guys, come on, bro.
[00:01:05]  Give me some rape tips, dog.
[00:01:06]  I just want to have rape from you.
[00:01:08]  No, we're friends.
[00:01:09]  Dog!
[00:01:15]  No!
[00:01:16]  Right, I see what you're attempting here.
[00:01:17]  You're attempting humor, and I have to inform you that what you've just done is called a rape joke.
[00:01:24]  And believe me, if there is one thing that a certain group of ideologues don't like, it's rape jokes.
[00:01:33]  So I do think you should probably be careful about this in the future.
[00:01:38]  If you absolutely cannot pretend to be a man facading as a rapist, another expensive and fear-induced solution is to hire bodyguards.
[00:01:46]  Will you protect me from rape?
[00:01:47]  Yes, ma'am, we will.
[00:01:49]  But will you rape me?
[00:01:52]  Yes, ma'am, we will.
[00:01:54]  I'm just gonna call 911 really quick.
[00:01:57]  Not to ruin the joke, but most police are rapists, I mean men as well.
[00:02:01]  But hey, I think your little skits are hilarious, but I'm telling you, you're gonna bring down the ire, the wrath of a certain unnamed group of people.
[00:02:11]  The problem is you're saying the R word too much, and they're gonna be triggered.
[00:02:15]  If your bodyguards aren't trustworthy, protect yourself the old American way.
[00:02:22]  Excuse me, do you have the time?
[00:02:32]  No, I don't have the time for rape.
[00:02:36]  25 rounds, my ass.
[00:02:39]  But I tell you, I really think that these jokes are gonna be a bit triggering.
[00:02:43]  We've been conditioned our whole lives to not get raped.
[00:02:47]  Why are you saying it like it's a bad thing?
[00:02:49]  My dad put me in martial arts.
[00:02:51]  My mom gives me knives and pepper spray, and despite the fact that I like that stuff, it's mostly for anti-rape.
[00:02:55]  We're told by society, never walk alone at night.
[00:02:58]  Never walk down an alleyway.
[00:02:59]  If you think you're being followed, make three right turns, because that means they just went in a circle.
[00:03:03]  Never run upstairs if you're being chased, because then you can get trapped.
[00:03:06]  Don't stop if you see a car seat on the side of the road.
[00:03:09]  Hey, here's some nail polish that'll help you identify date rape drugs.
[00:03:12]  Yeah, fuck doing any of that shit.
[00:03:14]  Sport this adorable yet fierce keychain so you can gouge someone's eyes out.
[00:03:18]  Holy shit, do you live in the fucking Congo or something?
[00:03:22]  And on and on and on.
[00:03:25]  You know what would be better?
[00:03:26]  If we just teach men not to rape?
[00:03:28]  If we just taught young boys that rape isn't even an option.
[00:03:32]  Okay, Jesus.

=== Rape Is Not An Option (01:00) ===

[00:03:35]  I think we need to hear that again.
[00:03:36]  Rape isn't even an option.
[00:03:39]  Well, shit.
[00:03:40]  I was going to take us to dinner, then a movie, and then a good rape.
[00:03:45]  But that's not even an option.
[00:03:46]  So now, I don't know what we're going to do from about nine o'clock onwards.
[00:03:50]  Seriously, though, do you think that rapes happen because people don't know that it's wrong?
[00:03:57]  If we would stop victim shaming.
[00:03:59]  Fair enough.
[00:04:00]  And slut shaming.
[00:04:01]  I think you're projecting your own issues onto the situation here.
[00:04:03]  And excusing a rapist because of the clothes his victim wore.
[00:04:07]  That actually isn't a valid defense.
[00:04:09]  Or because they were on a date.
[00:04:11]  Yeah, that's not a valid defense either.
[00:04:13]  Because I am seriously so fucking tired of being responsible for not getting raped.
[00:04:20]  Okay, um, should we make it the rapist's responsibility for not raping you?
[00:04:26]  What do you think the success rate of your new initiative is going to be?
[00:04:31]  I'm Anna Akana.
[00:04:32]  You told us that already.
[00:04:34]  You stay awesome.