Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin - A Lexicon of Social Justice

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April 4, 2015 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin

08:46

A Lexicon of Social Justice

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	So I found a lexicon of misogynist trolling behaviours.
	And good god do I need it?
	Because they make up terms so fucking rapidly I have no idea what they're fucking talking about.
	They start with man splaining describes the phenomenon of someone usually a man but not always sometimes women can mansplain as well behaving as though he has superior knowledge to someone else often a woman who actually knows more about the topic than he does.
	You have to understand that social justice warriors know when they know more than everyone else and that is all the time.
	Which is why they never have to apologize or correct any of their mistakes or accept any kind of criticism ever.
	There's no need.
	They're already right.
	She goes on to say that often I've experienced some repeated questioning that fell short of mansplaining.
	That's because it wasn't telling you something, it was asking you something, idiot.
	While being even more annoying.
	Welcome to Critical Theory.
	I found it frustrating, but I didn't know how to describe it.
	Calling it man-terrogating because I'm a sexist.
	Until someone pointed me to sea lining, which is apparently what this is.
	The purpose of sea lining is never to actually learn or become more informed, the purpose is to interrogate.
	Much like actual interrogators, sea liners bombard the target with question after question.
	Digging and digging until the target either says something stupid, which never really takes very long because we're dealing with social justice warriors, or is so pissed off that they react in the extreme.
	Well, now I know that I have seen a lot of social justice warriors sea lion.
	So our lexicon begins proper with attempted gaslighting.
	This is when commenters, I mean commentators, respond to a personal anecdote with sheer disbelief.
	This can't have happened.
	You must have been remembering it wrong.
	There's no way this would go down this way.
	When it happened to me, dot dot dot, this kind of nonsense online doesn't rise to the level of gaslighting within a relationship.
	Even then it wouldn't be gaslighting, fucking idiot, which is a form of abuse.
	But when it happens in big enough numbers, the dozens of dudes are denying your reality, because reality is subjective, remember.
	It certainly can cross the line into abusive territory.
	Or it could be that a lot of people don't believe you.
	Just, you know, think you might be talking shit.
	Because you may be about to plug a Patreon.
	How about avataring?
	Taking apart a female writer's appearance, often involving a confused mixed bag of rape threats, lurid objectifying and she's too ugly to rape.
	Well that just sounds awful.
	Couching or kneeling at the confessional.
	Demanding free therapy for gender related issues or absolution for past misogyny.
	Forgive me feminist for I have sinned.
	Now let me tell you about my previous sexism in great detail.
	Just can't resist making it sound like a religion, can you?
	Gauntleting or gloving.
	Tagging a writer on social media in the hopes that a fight will start.
	The modern equivalent of what I demand satisfaction was in the old days, except sexist and cowardly.
	It is indeed sexist.
	This is something that only happens to women.
	And it certainly only happens to progressive feminist women and never to anyone on the internet.
	Insighting or bibliograbing.
	A version of mansplaining that involves citing text.
	One common variation is making really obvious reference to a source that the person you're talking to has probably read.
	For example, the day after a book about Emily Dickinson comes out and gets a front page review in major papers, the bibliograb jumps into the comment section informing the female reviewer that, hey, there's a new book on the subject.
	Has she heard about it?
	I've got a funny feeling that this person's actually talking about male feminists here.
	Johnsoning, dickpics, the lowest of the low.
	Well, say no more.
	Lollipopping.
	Anything meant to infantilize a serious female writer from calling her hun or sweetie to telling her that she'll get it when she gets older.
	I imagine you mean the joke.
	Named after the candy the doctors and merchants, merchants, what fucking century are you from?
	Handed out to young children to placate them.
	Well, if you guys didn't seem like young children, manhandling, creating a Twitter or Tumblr handle for the specific purpose of trolling a writer, coming up with a secondary online handle just to repeatedly tag someone, and or making that handle so grotesque that it is in itself harassing.
	Is this what the band Black Pussy were doing?
	Creating a handle that is just in itself so provocative to identity politicians, which I guess is my new term for people who practice identity politics whether they should or not.
	But yeah, Black Pussy, it's deliberately provocative to you dickheads, because you just can't fucking help yourselves, can you?
	Miss Lonely Heartsing.
	Sending long detailed emails to a writer outlining your likely obvious argument against a given piece and being shocked.
	Shocked that she doesn't have time to respond to every point in detail.
	Well look, right?
	Those cats aren't going to feed themselves.
	Neither is this bottle of wine going to drink itself.
	Naturally you'll end up attributing this to her cowardice and unwillingness to be challenged rather than just a disinclination to give you her precious time.
	That is fair enough though isn't it?
	I mean she could be having a rigorous intellectual debate with you or she could be sat home half drunk and wanking furiously to the Twilight series.
	Which would you rather do?
	Page sixing.
	I love this so fucking much.
	Repeatedly mentioning a writer by name without tagging her in the hopes that she'll notice anyway, read Google her own fucking name or that it'll mess up her Google search results.
	The egregiousness of this behaviour falls somewhere between sub-tweeting and gauntleting.
	Or it falls somewhere in the realm of psychotic narcissist.
	The sort of person who's convinced she actually is the center of the universe.
	Rubbernecking.
	Jumping into a Twitter, Facebook or online forum debates to get a few half-hearted jabs in.
	No, you fucking moron.
	Rubbernecking is already a term.
	It means someone who's leaning out of their car staring at something as they go by for fuck's sake.
	Jumping into Twitter, Facebook, or online forum debates to get a few half-hearted jabs in.
	I don't know, fucking sniping maybe would be a better term.
	Snitz picking.
	Emailing in a highfalutin manner to point out a small typo in or perform a highly questionable fact check on a woman's blog or social media post.
	Because goddammit, if there is one thing these social justice warriors don't want, it's fact-checking.
	Would you please leave your facts at home and listen and fucking believe?
	It would make the business of selling their bullshit to you so much easier if you would just abandon your critical thinking faculties.
	Trojan horsing, using a friendly email or initial tweet, great peace, or excellent points on Tumblr today.
	They are words that have never been spoken.
	No one, no one has ever said excellent points on Tumblr today, because there has never been any such fucking thing.
	Sorry, as a way of getting access to unleash a litany of abuse.
	Do you mean a litany of constructive criticism?
	Or at the very least, as the preface to an onslaught of man splaining and actually ing.
	How fucking awful.
	Well, this has been informative.
	I do feel like I know a lot more about social justice terminology after going through this article.
	And I'm almost finished with my beer, so I hope you guys have found this as informative as I have.
	And I wanted to do something a bit fun because, you know, I mean, things have been, I don't know, surprisingly serious recently.

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