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March 3, 2015 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin
08:05
Harvard's Humanist of the Year 2014
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Hey gaming buttholes!
Oh don't tell me you're one of the people who wants gaming to grow up aren't you?
Ready to eat some humble pie?
Have you been in the kitchen cooking some?
Anita Sarkeesian is being awarded Harvard's Humanist of the Year for 2014.
So?
Let that soak in for a hot minute.
I'd just like to remind any Americans listening that you don't have to apologise for her in the same way that Australians apologized for Angry Aussie.
My girl Anita has been working overtime this year.
Jesus, you've got low standards.
In 2014, Anita Sarkeesian made two videos.
Three if we accept her accepting the Ambassadors Award at the game developers conference last year.
And we can increase that to four if we include a video that she wasn't even in.
And she's only just reached the halfway mark after two years of her project being funded.
But hey, you know, they're your standards.
You can hold them as low as you like.
She was traveling around, giving some speeches.
Also cancelling speeches even though she hadn't had any credible threats.
Oh wait a minute, I gotta go check on that.
Honestly, you've probably burnt it by now.
Mmm, smell that pie.
Take a big whiff.
It's extra humbly for you.
I am really, really not interested in smelling your pie.
But I think the issue here is that you think Harvard's Humanist of the Year award has credibility.
And that credibility is transferred to Anita Sarkeesian when she is awarded it.
The issue is of course the exact reverse.
When Anita Sarkeesian is given an award, it discredits the people giving her an award.
Other Humanists of the Year were the founders of OKCupid in 2012 for being a website that was groundbreaking and allowing atheists to find other atheists and fall in love.
Thank you for confirming exactly the low standards that Harvard has.
I'm not impressed when a person who makes a dating website receives Humanist of the Year.
I'm really not.
And 2011 was Seth McFarlane because duh, he's a big funny atheist.
You keep saying atheist like you think the people you're talking to are religious.
I'm willing to bet that most of them aren't.
The Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard have made it known that they are a redundant organization that will give out awards for absolutely asinine reasons.
Choosing Sarkeesian because she continues to fight for gender equality in the world.
Asinine reasons confirmed, thank you.
But particularly in gaming.
Technically exclusively in gaming, but even then all she's really done is played the professional victim and raked in the cash.
I can't imagine that's anything to do with useful idiots like you.
Even though she regularly receives donations?
Death threats.
Oh yeah, of course.
The donations come after the death threats.
She receives death threats from people too immature.
Hang on, do you know who the people sending anonymous death threats to Anita Sarkeesian are?
Because I'd like them arrested.
To understand that discussing and critiquing video games isn't a crime punishable by death.
Do you think that the people sending Anita Sarkeesian threats are part of the judiciary system?
Her main goal is not to ban all video games.
That's actually true.
She wants to change all video games.
It is to help creators come up with edgier ways to satisfy their clients without further perpetuating the treatment of women as second class citizens, which can be seen throughout history.
Okay, first, nothing Anita Sarkeesian will ever do will be edgy.
Second, shut up you don't know shit about history.
And third, Anita Sarkeesian basically wants to mum up the video game industry.
So Anita's demands of the gaming industry are as follows.
Number one, avoid the Smurfett principle.
Don't just have one female character in an ensemble cast.
Let's own one whose whole personality is more or less girl or woman.
Wow, that's edgy.
But the answer is, of course, fuck off Anita.
Number two, lingerie is not armor.
Dress female characters as something other than sex or dress.
Well, that is, again, edgy as fuck.
But the answer is, of course, fuck off Anita.
Number three, have female characters of various body types.
That's, again, brilliant.
I can't wait to play a fat Tumblrite, but the answer, I'm sure you're aware, is fuck off, Anita.
Number four is supremely edgy.
Don't overemphasize female characters' rear ends.
That is certainly not the sort of thing my mum would ask for.
But the answer is I'm sure you've guessed it, fuck off Anita, you annoying Puritan.
Number five is, include more female characters of colour.
Of course, the answer to this is, fuck off.
I'll do as I please with my own game.
Thank you, Anita.
Number six is surprisingly targeted directly at Brianna Wu, animate female characters to move the way normal women, soldiers or athletes would move.
Uh, my response Brianna, if I, if you're listening would be, fuck off, Anita.
Number seven is, record female character voiceover so that pain sounds painful and not orgasmic.
Uh, that's a really weird and nitpicky thing to to require.
Uh Anita, and I think you know what my answer is got it in one, fuck off Anita.
And Anita's final demand is, include more female enemies, but don't sexualize those enemies.
Oh okay mum, but hang on, i'm not going to be tricked here.
I know that if I include female enemies, you will complain about violence against women.
So my answer is, of course, what the fuck are you still doing here, Anita?
Why don't you go and play Candy Crush or whatever it is you actually enjoy?
Now there are a lot of conspiracy theories concerning Sarkeesian that are being circulated around the atheist community, probably something to do with her being an advisor to Silverstring media.
They do have their grubby little tentacles in a lot of pies.
Regarding her credibility, Anita has no credibility, ethics and intent.
She's a con artist.
She has taken people's money.
She has not finished her video series and there is literally no way in hell she's ever going to, given that she has announced a new video series.
Given that Anita has never addressed any of the criticism leveled against her, I can only presume that her intent is to take people's money.
And you know what?
If you want to give her your money, you go ahead.
More fool you and I have to say uh, who cares?
I'm not even mad.
I'm not even mad.
Your response is, oh, who cares?
That is just.
That is perfect, thank you.
That sums up absolutely everything about Anita Sarkeesian and her brain-dead.
Mindless followers like you.
And you wonder why.
My response to Anita's demands is, fuck off Anita.
If you cannot conduct yourself soundly and ethically and be intellectually responsible for the bullshit you put out, why should I care what you have to say?
When have skeptics in this community supported conspiracy?
Presumably when there is evidence to support such a position.
Skepticism is about truth and evidence to back that up.
Yeah, and sometimes people conspire.
Are you the sort of idiots who thinks that conspiracies just can't happen?
If you are excited for this wonderful new achievement of an atheist woman, please show your support and thumbs ups.
Yeah, and don't forget to listen and believe like a good skeptic.
If you think this is a huge mistake being made on the part of Harvard, one of the most well-renowned Ivy League schools, let's discuss it below.
Now, I'll leave you to have your own Sarkeesian gasms.
Oh yes, spoken like a true skeptic.
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