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Aug. 25, 2014 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin
08:53
Let's Play: Oppression Quest
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Hello everyone.
Someone sent me a link to Oppression Quest, a game they'd made.
I'm sorry I can't remember your username offhand, but I seem to have lost it somewhere in my inbox.
So yeah, Oppression Quest is a game that deals with living with oppression in a very literal way.
The game is not meant to be a fun or light-hearted experience.
If you are currently suffering from illness and are easily triggered, and I am easily triggered, please be aware that this game uses stark depictions of people in very dark places.
The Melanie Hensley picture is perfect above it.
If you are suicidal, please stop playing this game.
Okay, let's get on with it.
You stare at your computer screen.
It's been two hours and still no game idea.
You promised yourself you would finally put forth the effort and make something at least resembling a video game.
You are a young female game developer with crippling self-victimization complex.
Something is burning inside you.
You need to make a game now.
What do you do?
Do you make something decent or make a shitty indie game with little depth and hardly any interactivity?
Well that's definitely what I'm gonna do.
Success!
You develop a shitty choose your own adventure game.
Hmm, but you still need people to play it.
In order to do that, you need to garner some popularity from game journalists.
But how?
I just want to say that I didn't make this.
Actually try contacting them to play your game, teaching your boyfriend to fuck some journalists and exchange some publicity, thus ruining what little journalistic integrity the games industry had in order to further your own self-interests.
Well, I would try the first one, but if I had a vagina, I would definitely use that power.
Congratulations.
You have furthered your own selfish interests and brought the game industry a step forward to collapsing.
Great job shitting on people's hobbies.
The game is a resounding success.
Reviews are pouring in left and right.
You're even winning awards.
Hmm.
Maybe I'll try and get this shit on Steam.
Great success.
The game's on Greenlight.
But people are being quite critical of your game, wondering how it even got Greenlit in the first place.
Hmm.
Do I?
Orchestrate a raid and blame it on Wizard Chan to create the illusion of an enemy that is harassing you to get your game off Steam, because no one could actually just dislike your masterpiece of a game.
Accept criticism like any normal artist, or complain that I got mugged and now need donations, using your personal life as an argument justifying it.
If anyone calls you out later for something else you did, tell them that your life is not for public talking points, despite you being a public figure, and that you will not negotiate with terrorists.
Well, one and three both seem like fine options, but I really would like to just do both instead.
But I'll take three.
Somewhat effective.
Some are jumping to your defence, others see right through it.
You still need to act fast to save face.
Do I orchestrate the raid?
Accept criticism?
I can't complain that someone's already done it.
Well, I guess I'll orchestrate a raid.
God forbid I accept criticism.
Oh, yeah, that's exactly what I expected.
Fantastic.
Shitty game journalist sites are flocking to your rescue.
Thank God I'm a damsel in distress.
Headlines that read that online communities are harassing you for being a woman, rather than criticising you for nepotism and bringing down the industry through corruption.
Remember, anytime you're criticised, either accuse them of being misogynists or create harassment for yourself.
Exactly.
Conveniently, there are anonymous image boards where no one will be able to determine whether or not you're lying due to no registration and threads expiring.
That is convenient.
Remember, asking for proof or substantial evidence is not only a social construct, but also victim blaming.
Repeat after me.
the game industry is misogynist the game industry is misogynist the game industry is misogynist this illusion of an online cybermob harassing you with their vitriolic misogyny is buying you a great cover You have successfully died.
Whoa!
Other people are seeing right through your facade.
People found out that your fake phone numbers you put down as a way to frame Wizardchan were actually phone lines to an internet archive and a Hawaii bike shop.
Wow, people followed up on this.
I can't believe how committed people are.
Actually, I can totally believe it.
Good.
People are starting to make videos on the matter.
The wildfire is spreading across the forest, and soon you'll be left with no trees.
Was that a good metaphor?
Yeah, it wasn't bad, actually.
Whatever.
What are you going to do?
Hmm.
Own up your actions and apologise and save some face?
I don't think so.
I'll file a false copyright claim on a video that uses a still image from your game which is still under public use due to being a screenshot on Steam in order to cover up your actions.
And I do think it's okay to use if it's for purposes of parody or criticism.
But, um, or go on 4chan and link your blog so you can bait them into harassing you to further develop yourself as a victim.
Oh, that's a tough choice.
I think I'm going to go straight for 4chan.
Oh shit.
Oh no, I can't believe that didn't work.
I'm a social justice warrior.
I thought I would be able to take down 4chan.
Failure.
You tried to bait V into harassing you and they didn't take the bait.
Oh, I can click on this.
Does that go to 4chan V, I suppose?
Someone has screenshotted your failure and the post is now spreading.
Ah, quick!
Suppress the post!
Suppress the post!
You fucked up!
But you can still fix this.
Yes, I can.
Aha!
Suck it, mundane Matt.
You're successful in silencing some options, but then the bomb hits you.
Your ex-boyfriend, oh, goddammit, they're always coming after me, has published a list of all the people you fucked in order to pave your way into the industry.
It is a surprisingly gripping read as well.
The community is an uproar.
People are discussing this on their own forums.
Oh, fuck.
Hmm.
Well, now, I personally would have admitted to my actions long ago, but I am playing as a social justice warrior.
So, I'm going to claim I'm still being harassed.
Nice.
Moderators from Reddit are mass deleting threads discussing the topic.
One even contacted you on Twitter.
Hey, thanks, Reddit moderators.
Your professional victim is playing off.
Even 4chan is backing off.
Mods are deleting threads there too.
Fucking 4chan.
I cannot believe the power of Zoe Quinn's frothing, snapping beaver.
Everyone is jumping to your defence, despite your history of lying and manipulation.
Even another one-hit wonder shitty indie developer who made a game about platforming is jumping to your defence.
Maybe you will collaborate with him.
Hopefully it won't take five years.
Yes, your plan is working.
Remember that charity you doxed because it offended you?
Jesus Christ, really?
I didn't even know about that.
Well, it was getting mass coverage, mainly from V, actually helping people by donating money.
We've got to put an end to this.
Luckily for you, one of your supporters has hacked the fuck out of them.
Yeah, fuck actually helping people.
My personal agenda is far more important.
That'll show them for having the audacity to help people.
You're goddamn right.
Okay, I'm not actually sure what Shadow Band is, but I'm sure it's pretty bad.
It needs an extra word to tell you it's not just a usual banning.
Congratulations.
You've reached the end of oppression quest.
Woo!
You win!
Ah, God, I am so good at being oppressed.
You have successfully pandered and victimized your way out of any form of criticism.
People genuinely think you're oppressed for being a shitty person.
Reddit admins are perma-banning anyone who's even discussed the topic.
Yes!
Cheers to the game industry, cheers to making the game industry one step closer from capitulating under the sheer weight of your victim complexes and pretentiousness.
Now go forth and free yourselves from the shackles of patriarchy.
Reclaim your liberty.
Just remember, anytime someone criticizes or says something you don't like or agree with, just dox or censor them.
I wonder where this X goes.
Oh, a hidden bonus screen.
You are hereby awarded the Truly Oppressed Trophy Reward.
Here is your ASCII art.
You don't tell anyone else, you wouldn't want to accidentally trigger them.
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