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April 22, 2014 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin
09:32
Michelle Obama hunts fat people with a shotgun
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Hi, I'm Lindsay April.
And I'm Jerry Lieberman.
Hi, Fat Chicks.
And we are feminists and pop culture junkies.
And exactly what food group is pop culture?
After decades of consuming what popular culture has to offer.
Consuming is going to be a running theme through this video, isn't it?
We got tired of the absence of bodily diversity and the all-out hatred against larger bodies.
I'm sure that's not the only thing that makes you tired, but thank God for that mobility scooter.
With that in mind, this is Fattitude.
I want you to fire the fat people.
What?
They're lazy and they're slow and they make me sad to look at.
74 sexual positions and not a single fatty.
It's impressive.
So you can either be fat and jolly or a skinny bitch.
It's up to you.
Unless I'm fat, then burn me.
She got real fat on me, so I was like, ew, bye.
Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
Okay.
It's rare to see fat bodies positively portrayed in the media.
I think fat is conceived as monstrous.
Yeah, conceived as monstrous.
Not that it is monstrous or anything.
Because we're taught these things from a very early age.
Oh, yeah, because if I wasn't taught that this is disgusting, I would not think that this was disgusting.
Monsters and ogres and people who threaten you and people that you should be afraid of.
I never used to be because it used to be that they were just a bad example, but now they are mobile.
Now they can actually hunt their prey.
Fat is a clown and not human.
Pst.
Clowns are actually people with lots of makeup on in a silly costume.
There's kind of this role of like the fat and dumpy best friend, sort of for fat women.
Or on the other hand, we'll see characters who are characterized by their fatness and then made to seem as victims.
But they are victims.
Victims of their own lack of self-control.
But self-control is hard.
And food comes in buckets now.
You know, thin models are bad and evil.
And it's just that we only see thin white models.
You have a great job.
You know how to get so lucky.
Oh, yeah, I crashed into a truck.
Literally, in order to have a fat lead character, you have to have a death narrative that absolves them of any blame for having been fat.
Because nothing is ever a woman's own fault.
Women don't make choices that have bad consequences.
And the contradiction of like, don't eat this, don't eat that, don't eat this, don't eat that, with watch us cook this, watch us do that, watch the new restaurant show, watch the new cooking show, watch the new food, food, food, food, food, food, food.
The food thing is intense, man.
Yeah, it was like being trapped in the jungles of Vietnam with the Viet Cong hiding and sniping at you from all directions.
And you don't know what to do.
You don't know where to go.
And suddenly, bam, your best buddy's dead.
And you think, shit, Joker, no.
If only I had a way of turning off this television.
But the remote control is all the way over there.
And I left the TV on the 24-hour cooking channels.
Oh my god, my life is so difficult.
They always show the headless bodies.
And they're saying, are you telling me that this person is healthy?
And I said, well, you don't know.
You cannot know any more than looking at someone with a VMIF 19 whether they've got cancer or whether they're healthy.
Can't know.
It's basic epistemology, man.
You can't know anything.
Nothing can be shown to be certain ever at all.
You just don't know.
We don't know that this is even reality, man.
Constitutional rights and engages in a practice of discriminatory actions toward obese customers.
We can land a person on the moon and we can't figure out how to make an airplane seat for a human being?
Exactly.
If we can get two 400-pound men to the moon, you'd think that we could get two 400-pound women into small seats on an aircraft.
But if there is one thing we can be certain of, it is definitely the airline's fault that these women are so fucking big, they don't fit into the seats that everyone else fits into.
So, let's move.
And I mean literally, let's move.
And of course, all the fat kids here when it's the fight against obesity that they're trying to get rid of us.
Holy shit.
You are actually correct.
What they are proposing is an obese genocide, where they actually eradicate obesity from the face of the planet by making everyone exercise so there are no obese people left.
You are completely correct.
This is disgusting.
Michelle Obama is basically Hitler.
I know we have a really strong cultural belief system that fat is bad and that it's killing us.
We really don't have much evidence to back up those claims.
You know what?
You're right.
As we've shown, nothing can be ever been known to be certain at all.
All we can do is look at the fact that cardiovascular diseases are the number one cause of death amongst human beings.
And to prevent these, we're recommended to have a healthy diet and regular exercise.
But I'm sure being 400 pounds and never walking a step in your life is in no way contributing to that.
At all.
In any way, there's no evidence for it.
Consumption and body size are not as linear as people say.
I think there's this belief that it's like calories in, calories out.
It's much more complicated than that.
That's right.
No one's taking into account cosmic fat osmosis, where fat from space comes through the atmosphere, hits the skin, and is absorbed into the bloodstream, thereby increasing the number of calories in a person's body.
No one considers that.
It's crazy.
I think it's part of a government conspiracy to hide the truth.
There's many, many studies that show that when you're calorie deficient, you're not as cognitively active as you would be otherwise.
Alright, but how do you explain all the stupid fat people in this video then?
I mean, they're not calorie deficient and they're not cognitively active either.
So what's the fucking reason?
Eh?
And we're not talking about people who are starving to fucking death.
I imagine that people who are starving to death are not as cognitively active as they could be.
You are right.
There has to be a happy medium here, though, somewhere, right?
So it's a way of kind of weakening women and keeping them focused on something irrelevant so that they can't be as powerful in the world.
Oh, it's the fucking patriarchy again, isn't it?
Making women buy this irrelevant bullshit to keep them weak and powerless.
There's no way women could have chosen this for themselves.
This system is so diabolically brilliant.
This absurd, lifelong yo-yo dieting.
It's like they believe that one day I really can cash in my thin privilege.
Who the fuck let you out of Tumblr?
How are you going to cash in your thin privilege?
What are you going to do?
What is it worth?
Are you going to use it to buy a house?
But then do you lose your thin privilege?
Because when you cash something in, you lose ownership of it in exchange for money or whatever you're gaining in exchange.
That's what the phrase cashing it in means.
Cultural elites value what is rare and difficult to attain.
And in times when it was difficult for people to gain weight, fat became the value body among upper classes.
In this time when, you know, thinner bodies are more difficult to maintain and more valuable, they become much more the currency.
They do.
I am absolutely sick of cultural elites standing in my kitchen, and when I go to make a meal, they're like, look, you're having custard on that.
I'm like, man, I just want a salad.
And they're like, no, it's a salad with gravy or custard.
Which do you want?
And I'm just like, well, gravy then, because it's savory.
And the word fat, I just think it should be illegal to call somebody fat.
You know what?
I'm in full agreement.
Oh shit.
Run, Jennifer.
They heard you.
Run!
There's nothing negative in the word fat unless we put it there.
We're using the language of fat, but make no mistake, we're talking about gender, we're talking about race, and we're talking about class.
I'm pretty sure that somehow there is going to be a fairly well-off white man who is entirely responsible for the shit these fatties push into their pie holes.
I want to let women of all sizes out there know you can do whatever you put your mind to.
It doesn't matter what size you are, what color you are, you can do whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever you put your mind to.
Except trying to lose weight.
If you're not afraid of being called fat, what's going to stop you?
You can be a fat person and be fucking phenomenal.
And yet it's so strange how little skinny Japanese guys win all the hot dog eating contests.
Help us show the world that fat is phenomenal by supporting our Kickstarter.
No, no.
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