All Episodes
Previous Next
Feb. 13, 2014 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin
16:27
Fake piglets will ruin comic books
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
There is no such thing as fake geek girls.
What kind of stupid thing to say is that?
That is actually retarded.
There are fakes at everything.
Everywhere.
People who aren't really part of a culture, but think that they could get attention or popularity by being part of the culture, try and fake their way in.
That's the most retarded thing to say, and you cannot substantiate that at all.
Shut up, Piglet.
There are only girls who are at different varying levels of falling in love with something the society generically considers to fall under the nerd culture category.
I'm sure that there are women like that, but there are also fake geek girls.
You see them dressing up in stupid costumes to try and get attention, and they know nothing about what they've dressed up as.
And you say to them, wow, you've come as, say, Azula.
That's impressive.
Isn't she a great character?
And they'll be like, yeah.
And it's like, yeah, my favourite bit is when Katara beat her and they'll be like, wow, oh, I don't know anything about that.
It's like, yeah, I thought Azuka would be the one who would take her down, but in the end it was Katara.
Azula was so damn good, even on her worst day, Zuku couldn't beat her.
And it was a fluke.
And they'd be like, well, yeah, that's maybe, I don't, I don't, I don't know.
And that's what a fake is.
They don't know the fucking subject matter.
We all started somewhere.
And elitists are elitists whether they're wearing thick-framed prescription glasses or Gucci suits.
Yes.
Elitists.
Or people who actually give a fuck about the subject compared to people who do not.
All of this fake geek girl tomfoolery came into the hot seat about two weeks ago when Tony Harris made a Facebook post criticizing most female cosplayers as fakes and saying that they don't know anything about comics.
Tony Harris is a comic book artist best known for his work on Justice Society of America, Iron Man, and other titles.
Here is the aforementioned Facebook post, which for the sake of humor, I will pronounce precisely as it is written because it is a landmind of false capitalization and questionable grammar.
What the fuck is a landmind?
Why did you put a D on the end instead of an E, you fucking idiot?
Anyway, so what you're saying is that a man who is very intimately connected to the comic book industry, a man who obviously goes to a lot of these conventions and meets a lot of these fake women, knows exactly what he's talking about.
Hmm, okay, that's great.
I'm gonna skip the actual dictation of the event.
It's honestly, she takes ages and it pisses me off.
I can't be asked to sit through it.
I'm sure you don't want to either.
Dear Tony Harris, you and dude bros like you are the reason that women everywhere feel too intimidated to get into comics.
Piglet, is it intimidating for you?
Is it difficult for you to want to be part of a group that you've never wanted to be a part of until it becomes cool?
Oh my goodness, I've got so much sympathy for you Piglet.
Do you want me to, I don't know, make a bit of a quiet space in the corner so you can be part of comics without having to know anything about comics or even really like them, but because they're now cool, you have to be a part of it.
I thought you might.
Here you go.
You sit in the corner and read, I don't know, Wonder Woman.
Because if we enjoy them and express ourselves in a way that you don't personally approve of, you try to nerd cred shame us out of your little boys club.
If it's just a crappy little boys club worthy of such disdain, why do you want to be a fucking part of it, you fucking nutsack?
Listen, Piglet, you had no part in creating the comic book culture that is now so popular.
You have absolutely nothing to do with it.
And women like you were disdainful of it then, when it was underground, when it wasn't a cool thing to do.
And now it's cool.
You still want to try and do the same thing.
You were a fucking idiot, Piglet.
But more than that, you are a really entitled idiot, Piglet.
You're sitting there saying, well, hey, I know that this has nothing to do with us.
We had no hand in it.
But now, us precious piglets want to join in because you lore look like you're having fun.
And we don't like you having fun.
We need to ruin it.
And in the same breath, you go, why aren't there any girls here?
Bull shit.
Bull fucking shit.
Right?
I started playing Warhammer 40,000 when I was 12 years old.
I fucking loved it.
I started buying comics when I was the same age.
I fucking loved it.
I went to numerous war games clubs, comic clubs, computer clubs.
Not once, not fucking once has any man at those things said, I wish there were more girls here.
And do you want to know why, piggywig?
It's because we don't want girls there.
You're just a bunch of fucking killjoys.
Just like this video proves.
You just want to ruin the fucking fun.
You can't go along with it and say, hey, everyone's having a great time.
Maybe I should just conform to the way these guys are doing things because that's how to have a good time.
No, you have to come in and oink the place up and ruin it.
Well fucking done, you big fucking ruiners.
You design and glorify skimpy costumes and then tell us we're attention seeking for making exact replicas of them.
We didn't design the costumes.
Certain comic book artists and designers did.
But more to the point, you do make it all about you because then you dress in these costumes.
Why don't you dress as say, I don't know, Galactus or something?
Why don't you dress as Iron Man?
Why didn't you dress as anyone other than a girl in a skimpy costume?
Oh, that's right.
Because it's all about you.
That's the thing.
You have to make it about you.
You fucking piglet.
You and everyone who approves of your slut-shaming fan-criticizing sexist rhetoric?
It's not about slut-shaming.
It's about piglets like you barging in and trying to change things where they don't fucking belong.
Sexist?
Not really.
You were just never a part of it.
It's not about women being inherently wrong or bad or crappy.
It's about piglets like you thinking, I am entitled to be everywhere in the world.
I am entitled to go everywhere and do everything.
There is nothing I should not be entitled to do.
And you know what?
Men don't have that.
Men don't barge into women-only fucking gyms or, I don't know, whatever stupid sports or hobbies that women have, if they have any, and say, look, we're going to have to change this.
We're going to have to make this way more competitive.
There are going to have to be distinct winners and losers here because that's what men want.
No, we leave you alone to do it.
Can't you do the same thing?
Of course you can't because you're a piglet snuffling around for truffles.
Or digging your own graves.
P.S. When you tweet and say, no, no, that only applies to some cosplayers.
No!
Guess what?
You don't get to decide what women are deserving of your respect.
A, it is about some women.
I am sure that there are women who are complete comic book devotees.
And they don't go out of their way to make it about themselves.
They go out of the way to make it about the comics, right?
But more importantly, everyone gets to decide who is worthy of their respect.
You don't get to decide who is worthy of who else's respect.
That is literally the most crazy, crazy thing I have ever heard.
Go back to snuffling out truffles.
Honestly, you are a fucking idiot, love.
But not only that, you're a really self-centered idiot.
We all are.
PPS.
Boobies?
How old are you?
Older than you, clearly, because I remember the time when you weren't part of this fandom.
I remember the time when you weren't fucking interested.
People like you weren't interested.
So why don't you fuck off, you prick?
Now Tony Harris is just one guy, but a large part of the male audience agrees with what he has to say.
Because they can see the stupid thing you're doing as well, Piglet.
Fuck off and truffle hunt somewhere else.
Which is kind of messed up, because he dissed you too.
And the startling reality that we can gather from this is that if they had their way, women would never be accepted into geek.
No, Piglet.
Again, you don't know what you're fucking talking about.
If we had our way, women wouldn't be allowed to change it.
And I'll tell you why, because piglets like you find the fun, they sniff out like truffles, and then they eat it.
And then the fun is gone, and you have ruined the fun.
And then when all the men desert comic books and you say, well, it must be because we're women and not because we're giant narcissistic killjoys.
And at the end of the conversation, when you really boil down to it, women's worth and geekery in your eyes is our looks.
Not our contributions to fandom, but our looks.
Because piglets like you don't make contributions to fandom.
You are criticizing a man, a man who has produced dozens and dozens of comic books, characters, and art in his lifetime.
What have you produced, Piglet?
A video on YouTube saying, I am entitled to this, therefore I will whinge about it.
You aren't entitled to anything.
Go back to eating your truffles.
Whether it's positive or negative, our looks are the determining factor of success in your eyes.
And that really needs to change.
No, you mean I really want it to change, because that way I can co-opt your hobby.
I don't want you co-opting my hobby.
I want you to fuck off.
And look at your accusing, look, oh, oh, I really think it should change.
I mean, I am so stunned that I'm not invited here.
Guess what, Piglet?
You're not.
Comic books are not about narcissistic piglets.
They're about the stories being told.
Go away.
Because how is it that a group of middle-aged, mostly overweight men have a successful talk show where they discuss comics, when if a group of women tried to do the same thing, they would be met with an outcry of comments of fat and ugly!
Bullshit, would they?
They would be met with cries of, you don't know what you're talking about.
Do you know why, Piglet?
Because you fucking don't.
But no, carry on.
It's about you and the way you look.
Well done.
Well done for harping on about it like a fucking piggywig.
Not to bash comic book men because Kevin Smith is a pretty cool dude.
I'm gonna say the thing that I'm not supposed to say.
Oh this'll be good.
Are you going going going?
Evidence would suggest that it's harder to be a woman in geek culture than it is to be a man.
So fucking what?
It's harder to be a man than it is to be a woman at a woman-only gym.
It's harder to be a man than it is to be a woman at a sewing circle.
It's hard to be a man than it is a woman in practically every walk of life.
And the one place where men can be accepted and just talk about their hobby rather than anything else is comic books and geekdom.
And you want to fucking ruin it and make it all about women.
You narcissistic fucking piglet.
Fuck off.
There!
I said it!
It really seems like it.
And that's saying a ton because being a guy in geek culture is hard enough as it is.
No matter what we do or achieve, we as women will always be accused of faking it for attention.
Well, it seems to me that women don't really achieve anything, which is probably why you're being accused of faking it for attention.
You are attention whores.
You are attention-horring in this video.
Why are you caked in makeup?
Why have you dyed your hair, Miss Piggy Pink, Piglet?
What are you doing?
You are doing it for attention.
Because, you know, everything we do is for male attention, right?
I don't know, is it?
You tell us.
It honestly seems like it is.
But to be honest with you, there's a large part of it that just seems to be about women trying to outdo each other.
It honestly seems like you're trying to just be the queen bee, that you want all of the women to look at you in envy and jealousy.
Because women are like cats.
Even when they have to live together or have to be around each other, they don't like it.
We're constantly barraged with endless quizzing and it's fucking bullshit.
Yes, sometimes men experience this too, but myself and almost every other girl in this culture are experiencing an endless onslaught of quizzing to prove our knowledge of geekdom.
Listen, Piglet, I'm going to tell you something, right?
Whenever you have a select group that have a specific interest, it's not because you're a woman, it's to prove that you are anything to do with the culture.
Everyone gets it.
Everyone has to show that they are a part of this.
And if you can't do it, it means, Piglet, that you are not.
And that means you are not welcome.
And if you think I'm making this up, you need to take the D20 dice out of your ears for like five seconds and just listen, listen to what women are actually saying.
Fuck you!
All women do is fucking talk.
All you do is say, listen to us, listen to us.
And the one time the male group is saying, look, you need to listen to us, you cannot hear it.
You fucking narcissist.
Newslash, a lifetime of being a man does not even nearly educate you on the experience of females.
I'd like to thank Miss Piggy here for proving my point.
It's about females, isn't it?
It doesn't educate you on being females.
Oh, but being female doesn't educate you about fucking comics.
This is your problem.
This is everyone else's problem with you.
You're making it about women.
It's about geekdom.
It's not about you.
Newslash, you are becoming the assholes who pushed your face into a locker in high school.
You are hurting our community.
Oh, our community.
Oh, you're part of it, are you?
Oh, you've successfully co-opted that, have you?
You fucker!
Fuck you!
Go and ruin someone else's fun!
Also, you did say the majority of men agree with this early in the video, but fuck that, who cares?
And you do not represent the tons of men who are awesome and amazing.
But I'm sure you do, Piglet.
I'm sure you represent tons of men who are currently suckling at your teeth.
And super supportive of women in this subculture.
It's the fucking Catalina wine mixer.
One last reality check.
Even if you own every single Avengers comics that has ever been made ever, you still don't own the Avengers.
Duh!
No one thinks they do.
But you cannot then say, I know more about the Avengers than you, because it's patently false.
You are, you are just the worst.
You are the fucking worst.
You aren't its guardian.
You don't get to decide who is a fan of it or what they have to do or know in order to be considered a fan.
You're an idiot.
That's what it is.
You are an actual idiot.
It's not about being considered a fan.
It's about how much of a fan you are.
And if you do not know as much as someone who does know a lot more than you, probably by virtue of them owning every Avengers comic ever, that means you should shut your fucking mouth.
Because you don't know as much as they do.
So you're whining that girls are only interested in the Avengers now that the movie has come out?
Compared to you're whining that you're not considered a proper geek.
Me.
Pathetic and sad and most importantly so arrogant that Tony Stark himself would be embarrassed of you.
Yes, you are embarrassing and sad.
What's most embarrassing and sad is that you can presume to speak for Tony Stark, a fictional character you had no hand in writing.
▲
Export Selection