Behind the Bastards - Part Five: Kissinger
Aired: 2022-03-29
Duration: 01:30:17


=== Trust Your Girlfriends (02:50) ===

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=== Kissinger Boned (15:16) ===

[00:02:50]  You'll get a signed copy and you'll make me very happy.
[00:02:57]  The Dollop Crossover Special Event, Week Three of our Henry Kissinger series.
[00:03:04]  And the stress is getting to everyone.
[00:03:07]  David and Gareth fighting viciously.
[00:03:10]  I'm not, I mean, I've been quite calm.
[00:03:12]  I just, I just when I'm attacked.
[00:03:15]  Like Henry Kissinger, I am attempting to maintain a balance of power between you and the state of Detente.
[00:03:21]  You get it.
[00:03:22]  You have the answers.
[00:03:24]  Yes, yes.
[00:03:25]  Our podcasts are now bombing Cambodia.
[00:03:29]  Finally.
[00:03:30]  A show that I relate to.
[00:03:33]  Oh, boy.
[00:03:34]  Well, this is week three.
[00:03:36]  Can y'all believe we're already in the home stretch of this series?
[00:03:40]  Is it week three?
[00:03:42]  Yes.
[00:03:42]  Wow.
[00:03:43]  Episodes five have been.
[00:03:44]  We've been living together for three weeks.
[00:03:46]  I know.
[00:03:47]  Most podcasts don't make all of the guests live together.
[00:03:51]  How do they do it?
[00:03:52]  What do they do?
[00:03:52]  Yeah.
[00:03:53]  I think with like the internet.
[00:03:56]  I'm going to have to look that up in my dictionary.
[00:03:58]  Yeah.
[00:03:59]  Well, I've enjoyed our time here.
[00:04:00]  I've really liked it.
[00:04:01]  I don't want to leave.
[00:04:02]  So, I mean, but it's, I mean, we should.
[00:04:05]  I got to go back as a family.
[00:04:08]  We could do another couple of episodes on Henry Kissinger, but, you know.
[00:04:12]  Let's just do one a year for the next like five years.
[00:04:15]  There we go.
[00:04:16]  We'll just be like a reunion show.
[00:04:18]  Yeah.
[00:04:18]  What's Henry Kissinger up to?
[00:04:19]  A revival.
[00:04:20]  Yeah, there's probably more chapters coming.
[00:04:22]  Yeah.
[00:04:22]  Hopefully just dead soon.
[00:04:24]  Hopefully dead is what we'll be able to do.
[00:04:26]  I don't think that ends it.
[00:04:27]  Somehow I feel like that's not going to be enough.
[00:04:30]  Yeah, we'll be doing the episode about how Henry Kissinger brings the army of hell back through a portal to somehow fight on both sides of the Ukrainian war.
[00:04:39]  And the Army of Hell's been misled as to the rationale.
[00:04:42]  They're like, you said that there was going to be a lot more slavery here.
[00:04:46]  Go ahead, follow me.
[00:04:48]  Come with me.
[00:04:48]  I'll show you where they hide the WMDs.
[00:04:52]  Henry Kissinger.
[00:04:54]  I should have studied Kissinger's accent before this.
[00:04:58]  Totally but you do have an ear for accents.
[00:05:00]  It's all I do.
[00:05:01]  This will be so iconic that it will retroactively become Henry Kissinger's accent.
[00:05:06]  Kind of like the Nazis are now British.
[00:05:11]  I do one, just one Kissinger accent.
[00:05:14]  I nail one thing.
[00:05:15]  Hello, Kafka!
[00:05:16]  It's the only way you know.
[00:05:18]  Perfect.
[00:05:18]  Wow.
[00:05:19]  It's like we're there.
[00:05:19]  It's like we're in the Oval Office.
[00:05:21]  I am excited for when, what's his name?
[00:05:23]  The guy who did Vice, that director.
[00:05:26]  What's his fucking name?
[00:05:27]  You know, I'm talking about the Cheney movies.
[00:05:29]  Yes.
[00:05:29]  Adam McKay.
[00:05:31]  When Adam McKay does his Kissinger movie in 10 more years, he'll use that accent, Dave.
[00:05:37]  That'll be great.
[00:05:38]  Dave will be on set coaching Christian Bale.
[00:05:40]  You know, you're saying hello, and it's really more like aloe vera.
[00:05:48]  So here at Behind the Bastards and at the Dollop, which Behind the Bastards is the Kirkland brand version of.
[00:05:57]  We like to ask questions that historians all too often try to ignore, namely, how did bad people in history fuck?
[00:06:05]  So.
[00:06:06]  Wait, what's happening?
[00:06:08]  We're talking about how Kissinger boned.
[00:06:11]  Are you excited for this dick?
[00:06:13]  No, now I want to go.
[00:06:14]  Can I leave it?
[00:06:16]  I think he wants to go to take care of himself, if you understand.
[00:06:19]  You know, it is important to both cover the historical crimes of a guy like Kissinger and to get some personal color.
[00:06:25]  And since we've spent four episodes talking about his beliefs and his acts and power, it's only fair that we now turn our fuckroscopes onto his sex life.
[00:06:35]  This episode's going to have base under it, right?
[00:06:38]  Absolutely.
[00:06:40]  Yeah.
[00:06:43]  So I think the best way for me to start this segment is by reading a quote from a September 15th, 1971 article in the San Francisco Chronicle.
[00:06:52]  As a warning, guys, there is a 30% chance this is going to give one of you a stroke.
[00:06:56]  Oh, no.
[00:06:58]  Wait, you mean we're going to be stroking it or actual stroke?
[00:07:01]  That is impossible to say.
[00:07:03]  Okay.
[00:07:03]  Quote, Henry Kissinger, sex symbol of the Nixon administration, starting with the same thing.
[00:07:08]  Stephen bite a stick.
[00:07:09]  Let me bite a stick.
[00:07:10]  I'm just going to bite a stick just to be safe.
[00:07:13]  I'm just going to get a branch in my mouth.
[00:07:16]  Steps out of his office onto a sun-drenched San Clemente terrace with a cup of black coffee and sits in a white deck chair with his legs crossed.
[00:07:24]  Oh, man.
[00:07:28]  The man who has pressured Moscow, drafted state-of-the-world addresses, advised the president to enter Cambodia and paved the road to Red China, appears as something of an anachronism in his baggy midnight blue cotton trousers.
[00:07:40]  Black tie shoes, bright blue unfitted blazer, blue and white striped shirt and striped tie.
[00:07:46]  What?
[00:07:47]  You guys holding in so far?
[00:07:48]  I mean, what?
[00:07:50]  Fuck.
[00:07:51]  Embedded reporter LLB.
[00:07:56]  What?
[00:07:56]  Why?
[00:07:57]  I can't imagine combining the fashion sense with the war crime.
[00:08:02]  It's so good because they acknowledge the war crimes and they're going to cardio distress.
[00:08:07]  It's like Henry could be walking down a catwalk like you'll see Henry right now in a tight white pantsuit.
[00:08:13]  You can see it sucked to him.
[00:08:14]  Henry also known for ruining Cambodia in Vietnam.
[00:08:19]  Spin around and continue the quote.
[00:08:21]  Here comes mass murder sex machine.
[00:08:25]  Kissinger.
[00:08:26]  Oh, no, it's an open robe.
[00:08:30]  On the back wall, you can see some victims of the Agent Orange campaign in Northern Vietnam.
[00:08:35]  And this tearsucker.
[00:08:39]  You could notice the outline of his hog in those.
[00:08:44]  I don't know, fancy pants brands.
[00:08:46]  Otherwise, I would have finished that joke.
[00:08:48]  But I'm going to finish the quote now because, by God, there's more.
[00:08:51]  What are you trying to do?
[00:08:52]  Seduce me?
[00:08:54]  Henry will tease as he notices his visitor's hot pants.
[00:08:57]  You know I like these hot pants very much.
[00:08:59]  Then he'll light your cigarette, touching your hand as all continentals do, offer you a cup of coffee and discuss trivia as readily as he would a Sino-Soviet Entente.
[00:09:08]  The impeccably tidy image is perfect for dealing with Alexei Kushin or Chowen or Zhao and Lai or lecturing at Harvard.
[00:09:14]  But one cannot help wonder if the movie stars mind that the ankle socks of Washington's greatest swinger are falling down, or that his wiry chestnut hair, which flashes golden in the intense white sunlight, is too close-cropped to run their fingers through, or that at least 10 of his 178 pounds protrude over his thin black belt, somehow shortening his five feet nine inches.
[00:09:34]  But suddenly, an electric twinkle will flash through the intense blue of his eyes, and one catches an inkling of that movie star magnetism, that special quality which causes some people to call him Cuddly Kissinger.
[00:09:46]  No, how is that the craziest thing that's happened so far?
[00:09:50]  How is that?
[00:09:51]  How did that happen?
[00:09:53]  Oh, man.
[00:09:54]  It's worse than war crimes.
[00:09:56]  Yeah, this is a bottom below the bottom, folks.
[00:10:00]  Can we go back to just murdering hundreds of thousands of Cambodians?
[00:10:05]  How did that happen?
[00:10:07]  What in the fuck just went on?
[00:10:09]  Is this a guy or a lady writing this?
[00:10:12]  I think it's a lady.
[00:10:13]  I'm honestly certain it's a lady.
[00:10:14]  Yeah.
[00:10:15]  So she wants to fuck him.
[00:10:16]  She wants to, or the dude wants to fuck him.
[00:10:18]  Well, who wouldn't?
[00:10:19]  He holds your hand when he lights your cigarette.
[00:10:21]  Why do we have to talk about Kissinger's chest hair?
[00:10:24]  Why?
[00:10:25]  Why?
[00:10:25]  Why indeed?
[00:10:26]  Why indeed, David?
[00:10:28]  Because can we napalm it?
[00:10:30]  This is what napalm's for, right?
[00:10:33]  Speaking of palm, a little palmade in that hair of Henry's.
[00:10:37]  This has convinced me there is a place for the B-52 bomber in his pants.
[00:10:43]  Boy, that's what Henry calls little Hank.
[00:10:48]  So fuck.
[00:10:49]  Bafflingly, almost impossibly, it is not hard to find articles written at this exact sexual tenor.
[00:10:55]  And unfortunately, I would love to tell you guys that I'm sure this was like a satire or a joke, but people were weirdly serious about this kind of shit.
[00:11:05]  In 1972, and there's no way you're ready for what comes after this part of the sentence.
[00:11:10]  What?
[00:11:11]  In 1972, the Playboy Club hosted a poll of the bunnies and asked them who was, quote, the man I would most likely go out on a date with.
[00:11:21]  Henry Kissinger was number one.
[00:11:24]  Oh, wow.
[00:11:26]  What in the fuck?
[00:11:27]  No.
[00:11:30]  What a horrible indictment of.
[00:11:32]  This is the worst indictment of America that has ever been.
[00:11:35]  This is the most damning thing you can say about us right to the ground in the Playboy Mansion.
[00:11:41]  What?
[00:11:43]  How is that?
[00:11:44]  I can't.
[00:11:45]  It's like we're in the back to the future Biff timeline.
[00:11:48]  Well, hold on.
[00:11:49]  The man who massacres hundreds of thousands knows how to fuck.
[00:11:52]  That's just an old saying.
[00:11:54]  That is.
[00:11:55]  That is an old saying.
[00:11:56]  I want to fuck you like I fuck the people of Vietnam over.
[00:12:04]  So once the first few articles about Henry Kissinger's sex symbolitude dropped, Kissinger himself started being questioned by reporters about the phenomenon.
[00:12:15]  His standard reply became one of his most famous quotes.
[00:12:19]  Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
[00:12:23]  I mean, like, there are, there is, I mean, people are attracted to like psychos too.
[00:12:30]  Like, Ted Bundy had like a fan club and like, you know, like, I mean, I've been compared to Jeffrey Dahmer a number of times, looks wise, which has always been a pleasure.
[00:12:40]  And you're both very handsome young men.
[00:12:42]  And yes, thank you so much.
[00:12:44]  And both still in the primes of our youth.
[00:12:46]  Absolutely.
[00:12:47]  It's still, it's like, you feel like there is a separation with him and what it just seems very, like a very strange connection.
[00:12:56]  It's baffling.
[00:12:57]  Other than that, like, here's the sad thing.
[00:13:00]  We're going to get to this.
[00:13:01]  It's not just that he's powerful.
[00:13:03]  And the other thing about him that makes him women so attracted to him is like bleak in a surprising way.
[00:13:10]  But we'll get to that.
[00:13:11]  So famous women loved being spotted on Kissinger's arm.
[00:13:15]  One night he was sighted at the Trader Vicks in the Los Angeles Hill flirting and holding hands with Jill St. John, who played the very first Bond girl.
[00:13:25]  What?
[00:13:26]  He dated the first James Bond girl.
[00:13:28]  Come on.
[00:13:31]  The Hague.
[00:13:32]  He needs to be in the Hague.
[00:13:34]  Yeah, this is Jill St. John, to be honest.
[00:13:37]  Jill St. John fucked that little fucking murder troll.
[00:13:41]  Well, that was so horrifying.
[00:13:43]  Who could have been in that part?
[00:13:45]  Who goes from Bond to murder Munchkin?
[00:13:48]  I mean, Bond is kind of a murder.
[00:13:50]  Yeah, but he's a good guy.
[00:13:53]  Come on, always a good guy.
[00:13:56]  So while they were out on this date, Jill St. John and Kissinger were spotted by Ann Miller.
[00:14:01]  Ann was a dancer, famous dancer at the time.
[00:14:04]  She approached Kissinger and, quote, in a friendly way, these are the words of biographer Walter Isaacson, criticized him for having fun in public while our boys in Vietnam are getting their heads shot off.
[00:14:14]  Kissinger responded dourly, Miss Miller, you don't know anything about me.
[00:14:19]  I was miserable in a marriage for most of my life.
[00:14:22]  I never had any fun.
[00:14:23]  Now is my chance to enjoy myself.
[00:14:25]  When this administration goes out, I'm going back to being a professor.
[00:14:29]  But while I'm in the position I'm in, I'm damn well going to make it count.
[00:14:33]  I mean, really avoiding the centralization.
[00:14:37]  I mean, like, at no point does he acknowledge that that is an unfair thing he's doing.
[00:14:43]  He's just like, look, come on.
[00:14:44]  Even us psychopaths need to have some fun.
[00:14:49]  Yeah.
[00:14:49]  And it's, it's, I mean, it's nice to hear someone like approach him and say something like that, too.
[00:14:54]  Yeah.
[00:14:55]  Yeah.
[00:14:55]  And of course, she approached him for not doing right by our GIs and as opposed to not doing right by millions of Cambodian and Vietnamese and banks.
[00:15:04]  It's a morsel.
[00:15:04]  It's a morsel.
[00:15:06]  Yeah, civilians.
[00:15:07]  But yes, it is a morsel.
[00:15:08]  I did something similar to the lead singer of the County Crows.
[00:15:11]  I went up to him and said that his band was bad and they drove me crazy.
[00:15:17]  Your band's a war crime.
[00:15:20]  You know, Dave, you might have had more of an impact if you'd criticized him for playing his music while our boys in Vietnam are getting their heads shot off.
[00:15:26]  Oh, no, you would have had some trouble parsing that out.
[00:15:29]  Sir, are you okay?
[00:15:31]  Yes.
[00:15:31]  Yep.
[00:15:32]  I'm here playing your jam band while our boys in Vietnam are off there dying in the mud.
[00:15:37]  Face down in the muck.
[00:15:38]  How dare you?
[00:15:41]  I think you have the wrong person.
[00:15:42]  Got a kind of cross.
[00:15:46]  I know what you did.
[00:15:49]  Something about a pocket lot.
[00:15:53]  That you are edging up on my favorite conspiracy theory, which is that the Tonkin Gulf incident was engineered by the Counting Crows in order to sell out several decades later.
[00:16:03]  We know it was.
[00:16:05]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:16:06]  That seems proven at this point.
[00:16:08]  So, biographer Walter Isaacson describes Kissinger as having, quote, the boyish glee of a senior on-prom night in the twinkle of a middle-aged rake.
[00:16:18]  He regularly had, quote, striking blonde women come with him into the White House on lunch dates so he could show them off to his colleagues, telling a co-worker on at least one occasion to eat your heart out.
[00:16:29]  He's very much like bragging to other dudes about the fact that being Henry Kissinger has turned him into a sex symbol.
[00:16:36]  He just had a gun and he was like, no, literally, eat your own heart.
[00:16:42]  So it was known that Kissinger's notorious temper could be somewhat offset by tossing young women in front of him.
[00:16:47]  When his staffers fucked up and had to give him bad news about a scheduling issue, they'd send the youngest female secretary they had to go and give him the news.
[00:16:55]  The White House press office used Diane Sawyer for this purpose.
[00:16:59]  Oh my God.
[00:17:00]  Eventually the two started dating.
[00:17:03]  Oh my God.
[00:17:04]  I mean, she should not be allowed to still be doing news.
[00:17:08]  I mean, I know, I know, right?
[00:17:10]  You need to have your news license revoked.
[00:17:14]  Do you think he just comes pure poison?
[00:17:15]  Oh, it's like sarin gas.
[00:17:17]  Yeah.
[00:17:18]  It's just like a gas slowly releases.
[00:17:20]  Yeah.
[00:17:21]  We could harness Henry Kissinger's cum to get Europe off of Russian crude.
[00:17:28]  They're going to drop the Kissinger goo on us.
[00:17:32]  Diane Sawyer later told New York Magazine, quote, the power of Henry working a room is still seismic.
[00:17:38]  All of a sudden, everybody wants to step up their game and say something he'll find interesting or funny.
[00:17:43]  And, you know, I don't know how much of this is just like his narrative.
[00:17:45]  He's clearly a charismatic man, right?
[00:17:47]  He clearly has dinner for schmucks, and he's like the rube.
[00:17:52]  Like, it feels like everyone's just doing it as a bit.
[00:17:55]  Everyone's just doing a bit.
[00:17:56]  Like, it's just like, it's incongruent with the person that we I see and hear about that you're like, oh my God, if you can get in a room with Henry Kissinger, just get right next to him.

=== Henry's Seismic Power (12:43) ===

[00:18:06]  You will not leave his side.
[00:18:09]  Obviously, he's sexy.
[00:18:10]  Obviously, he's sexy.
[00:18:12]  Who wouldn't want to fuck Henry Kissinger?
[00:18:14]  Of course.
[00:18:15]  Want to.
[00:18:18]  Now, this is all profoundly upsetting, but it gets weaker.
[00:18:22]  So Walter Isaacson, who's probably Kissinger's best biographer, if Walter Isaacson is correct, the reason all these women liked hanging around Henry wasn't just that he was powerful.
[00:18:33]  And no, it was not that he had, you know, incredible dick game, which I'm sorry for saying that in the context of Henry Kissinger.
[00:18:39]  Thank you.
[00:18:40]  Thank you.
[00:18:40]  I appreciate it.
[00:18:41]  We just lost.
[00:18:42]  I appreciate it.
[00:18:45]  We just plunged in the rankings.
[00:18:47]  I believe that's a fireball offense.
[00:18:53]  I'm going to quote now from Kissinger, a biography by Walter Isaacson.
[00:18:57]  Kissinger's secret with women was not all that different from his one with men whom he wanted to charm.
[00:19:01]  He flattered them.
[00:19:02]  He listened to them.
[00:19:03]  He nodded a lot and he made eye contact.
[00:19:05]  But unlike the way he was with most men, Kissinger was exceedingly patient with women who wanted to talk.
[00:19:10]  Very few men in the 1970s actually listened to women, according to Betty Lorde.
[00:19:15]  Henry talked to you seriously and probed for what you knew or thought.
[00:19:19]  He was someone who could and would make a Jill St. John feel intelligent or a Shirley McLean feel politically savvy.
[00:19:25]  Next to Ingmar Bergman, he is the most interesting man I have ever met, said Liv Ullman.
[00:19:29]  He is surrounded by a fascinating aura, a strange field of light, and he catches you in some kind of invisible net.
[00:19:35]  Over long dinners at public places, he would listen with sympathy while women talked about themselves, their lives, their hopes, and even sometimes their slightly wacky new age philosophies.
[00:19:44]  He would call them on the telephone late at night and talk for an hour or more at a time.
[00:19:48]  He was a great friend, especially a telephone friend, always there when you needed him, said Jill St. John.
[00:19:53]  The dirty little secret about Kissinger's relationship with women was that there was no dirty little secret.
[00:19:58]  He liked to go out with them, but not home with them.
[00:20:01]  His fascination with affairs tended to be foreign rather than domestic.
[00:20:04]  Henry's idea of being romantic was to slow down his car when he dropped you off at a date, said Hauer.
[00:20:09]  He may have been, in fact, the most celibate lecher in Washington.
[00:20:13]  People say, yes, he doesn't do anything with these girls, his friend Peter Peterson once remarked.
[00:20:18]  Wait, what the fuck is happening?
[00:20:21]  So he's a little asexual.
[00:20:25]  I mean, he definitely had sex.
[00:20:26]  He had relationships.
[00:20:27]  He had kids.
[00:20:29]  But I think the being seen with women, the being seen as a sex symbol wasn't, but I don't think he had a particularly high sex drive.
[00:20:34]  I don't think he's going out and like fucking his way through like famous people.
[00:20:39]  I think he likes being seen in public with beautiful women.
[00:20:41]  And I think beautiful women, number one, he's safe.
[00:20:44]  Like he's not going to pressure you for anything.
[00:20:46]  And number two, he'll actually listen to you.
[00:20:48]  Like he's just company.
[00:20:50]  It's an extremely low bar.
[00:20:52]  It's really bleak, right?
[00:20:53]  There is like something to that.
[00:20:55]  You know, it's like he's, he's doing, yeah, I mean, I think that even now with guys, like when I'll hear like guys talking, you're like, yeah, it's like, just be respectful and it'll probably get you like, I mean, it at least makes you not an asshole.
[00:21:09]  I mean, he's, he's, he's, you know what it is?
[00:21:12]  I think the women in this situation are getting something out of it, right?
[00:21:16]  Being with Henry Kissinger gets you in the news.
[00:21:18]  It raises your profile.
[00:21:19]  He's extremely famous and powerful.
[00:21:21]  And you get taken maybe even more seriously, you know, as a woman who's a journalist, who wants to be seen as kind of intellectual.
[00:21:29]  Being around Henry Kissinger, he's a very serious public intellectual.
[00:21:33]  It's good for your career.
[00:21:35]  And also, he's just men in power were so much worse than they even are now that he was like the best dude in that world you could hang out with.
[00:21:47]  He's kind of like, it's almost like a Batman villain, again, in the sense that like he's got, he's this evil piece of shit, but yet he is also able to hold a conversation and not be a prick.
[00:22:00]  And you're like, wow, who could pull off such opposing forces?
[00:22:05]  Yeah.
[00:22:06]  He treats women like humans.
[00:22:08]  That's his magic.
[00:22:09]  Yeah, literally, that is his magic.
[00:22:12]  And yet he will look a woman in the eyes.
[00:22:15]  Yeah.
[00:22:16]  He is the only man.
[00:22:17]  Jill St. John feels smart.
[00:22:19]  The guy is a magician.
[00:22:20]  Yeah, he is the only man in power in Washington, D.C., who will sit down with a woman and listen to what she has to say.
[00:22:29]  And as a result, he is the primary sex symbol of 1970s squash.
[00:22:33]  Bar solo.
[00:22:35]  I mean, it's incredible.
[00:22:38]  It also, again, it comes down to what we've talked about before with him, which is media normalization and how it is just, once you kind of create that bubble, most people just acquiesce.
[00:22:48]  And then you're just like, you know, you kind of like Diane Sawyer is just like, oh, yeah, well, he's people don't throw bricks at him when he's outside.
[00:22:57]  So he's okay.
[00:22:58]  Now, Isaacson gives an example of a typical relationship, Kissinger's friendship with Jan Golding, who's a New York socialite he dated from 70 to 71.
[00:23:07]  She was 22.
[00:23:08]  He's like 50.
[00:23:10]  And Kissinger had been given her name by Kissinger had been given her name by Kirk Douglas.
[00:23:16]  Jesus Christ.
[00:23:17]  Kirk Douglas is the fucking hookup in this case.
[00:23:21]  So Henry calls her one day without warning and asks if she wants to come out for dinner.
[00:23:26]  When she flew down to D.C. to meet him, she was met at the airport by one of Kissinger's military aides, who drove her to a fancy club where he was dining.
[00:23:34]  The two sat down to eat.
[00:23:35]  And midway through dinner, Henry got a phone call and stayed away for 40 minutes.
[00:23:39]  When he came back, he apologized and said that the Secretary of State had needed his advice.
[00:23:44]  But whenever he was present, he paid close attention to her and he asked her her opinion on issues of the day.
[00:23:49]  She found the overall experience heady.
[00:23:51]  The two dated for half a year without any romance ever developing.
[00:23:55]  Isaacson writes, quote, only once did they go back to his apartment.
[00:23:58]  And when they arrived, an aide was there fielding telephone calls.
[00:24:01]  By Golding's count, the phone rang 40 times.
[00:24:04]  You couldn't do anything romantic in that place, even if you were dying to, she recalled.
[00:24:08]  Who's dying?
[00:24:09]  Nobody's dying to.
[00:24:11]  She wants to get fucked by the old weirdo.
[00:24:13]  Yeah, she's into it.
[00:24:15]  I must warn you, my cock is horned.
[00:24:18]  Yeah.
[00:24:20]  Yeah, she said, I just don't think Henry was interested in sex.
[00:24:23]  When it came time to perform, well, I just think he was too preoccupied for it.
[00:24:26]  He didn't have time for it.
[00:24:27]  Power for him may have been the aphrodisiac, but it was also the climax.
[00:24:31]  Oh, my God.
[00:24:32]  That's what I'm saying.
[00:24:34]  I know.
[00:24:34]  That's a line right there.
[00:24:36]  That's what he was doing in the bathroom for 40 minutes.
[00:24:41]  Oh, Henry.
[00:24:42]  So on one occasion, Henry was more honest than usual with one of his female friends, Oriana Falacci, who's an Italian author and a former World War II partisan.
[00:24:50]  She's actually a pretty fascinating person.
[00:24:53]  He said, quote, when I speak to Lee Duc To, who is the Vietnamese negotiator for North Vietnam, I know what I have to do with Lee Duc To.
[00:25:00]  And when I'm with girls, I know what I must do with girls.
[00:25:02]  Besides, Lee Duc To doesn't at all agree to negotiate with me because I represent an example of moral rectitude.
[00:25:08]  This frivolous reputation, it's partially exaggerated, of course.
[00:25:11]  What counts is to what degree women are part of my life, a central preoccupation.
[00:25:15]  Well, they aren't that at all.
[00:25:16]  For me, women are only a diversion, a hobby.
[00:25:19]  Nobody spends too much time with his hobbies.
[00:25:21]  See, for a minute there, you're sort of thinking, okay, well, if he's getting something out of female accompaniment, then in a way that is, I mean, there's something kind of like, there is something kind of nice about the idea that a guy is just not like trying to fuck his way through, you know, beautiful women.
[00:25:40]  Like he's just enjoying the company of women.
[00:25:43]  But then the more you kind of peel back, the more it just does seem to be like he's just backwards.
[00:25:51]  He's a backwards person.
[00:25:53]  Every part of him has just been rearranged.
[00:25:55]  He's like a mannequin body of guts that fell down and was put back improperly.
[00:26:03]  Now, the surprise Kirk Douglas cameo there may queue in on the fact that Henry was also very popular with the celeb set.
[00:26:10]  During a party thrown for Gloria Steinem by the talk show host Barbara Hauer, Kissinger told those assembled, I am a secret swinger.
[00:26:19]  Now, yes.
[00:26:21]  Yeah, that's the thing he claims.
[00:26:22]  I like any hole.
[00:26:24]  Maybe it's a joke.
[00:26:26]  Yeah, that means he's saying he likes to fuck, but all the evidence we have is that he doesn't like to fuck.
[00:26:31]  Yeah, again, I think that's him myth-making.
[00:26:33]  I think that's just saying that.
[00:26:35]  I like to go around and touch the genitals of fucking people.
[00:26:41]  Yeah, you go to a swinger's party in D.C. and Henry's just there putting a finger on things.
[00:26:46]  Is it okay if I penetrate both of you with the pinky rings?
[00:26:51]  I get nothing out of this.
[00:26:52]  It's fine.
[00:26:53]  Don't worry, I'm comeless.
[00:26:57]  So Kissinger missed the announcement that he'd been nominated for Secretary of State because he was on a date with Norwegian Oscar nominee Liv Ullman.
[00:27:05]  He took Candace Bergen out on a date when she was a young star.
[00:27:08]  She later said that he gave her, quote, the sense of shared secrets, probably the same set he gave every anti-war actress.
[00:27:15]  Like he would act like, oh, I'm really against the war.
[00:27:17]  I'm inside the administration, like trying to get us out of these things.
[00:27:20]  You know, it's just like, yeah, he's a psycho.
[00:27:24]  Psycho.
[00:27:25]  I don't know what else to say about it.
[00:27:27]  He's completely.
[00:27:28]  Everything we've heard is completely contrary to him.
[00:27:30]  He's the fucking devil.
[00:27:31]  Yeah.
[00:27:31]  Yeah.
[00:27:32]  It's just psychotic.
[00:27:34]  But also, you have to credit, like, I don't think Candace Bergen is lying.
[00:27:38]  I can imagine how you're not privy at that point in time to any of what we have, right?
[00:27:42]  To any disinformation we have about how much he was planning this, about what a two-faced liar he was.
[00:27:46]  So maybe you believe, yeah, this man is so intelligent and is so like emotionally competent.
[00:27:51]  I can't imagine him being the architect of these war crimes.
[00:27:55]  He must be just, it's such a titanic system of evil, and he's fighting alone to bring it down.
[00:28:00]  And like, it must be why Hillary Clinton still hangs around him.
[00:28:02]  He's like, look, I had nothing to do with any of that, Haylory.
[00:28:05]  Don't worry, we'll talk about that, Gareth.
[00:28:07]  Okay, let's go.
[00:28:08]  Oh, great.
[00:28:10]  Oh, God.
[00:28:11]  So, I'm going to quote next from Niall Ferguson's Kissinger.
[00:28:14]  Quote, for the press, the story was irresistible.
[00:28:17]  The dowdy Harvard professor reborn in Hollywood as Kerry Grant with a German accent.
[00:28:22]  When Marlon Brando pulled out of the New York premiere of The Godfather, its executive producer Robert Evans unhesitatingly called Kissinger, and Kissinger obligingly flew up despite blizzard conditions and a schedule the next day that began with an early morning meeting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff to discuss the mining of Haiphong Harbor and ended with a secret flight to Moscow.
[00:28:41]  A reporter asked, Dr. Kissinger, why are you here tonight at the Godfather premiere?
[00:28:45]  Kissinger responded, I was forced by who?
[00:28:48]  By Bobby, Bobby Evans.
[00:28:50]  Did he make you an offer you couldn't refuse?
[00:28:52]  Yes.
[00:28:53]  As they fought their way through the throng, Evans had Kissinger on one arm and Allie McGraw on the other.
[00:28:58]  What in the fuck is that?
[00:28:59]  I know, right?
[00:29:00]  Would you have called that when we started this shit?
[00:29:05]  Kissinger is lulled us into this being okay.
[00:29:09]  Because at the beginning, absolutely not.
[00:29:12]  But now, I mean, imagine, honestly, like a war criminal on a red carpet going like, look, I didn't want to.
[00:29:18]  Obviously, I want to stay in South Vietnam, but Bobby called.
[00:29:23]  You're my Bobby.
[00:29:26]  Oh, man.
[00:29:27]  It's incredible.
[00:29:29]  You know who else attended the premiere of The Godfather with producer Robert Evans and Allie McGraw?
[00:29:37]  I can't wait to hear.
[00:29:38]  The sponsors of this show.
[00:29:40]  All deeply tied in.
[00:29:42]  Well, of course they are, right?
[00:29:43]  Like they're the kind of people who get invited to hunt children on private island reserve off the coast of Indonesia, you know?
[00:29:50]  I've heard it's an archipelago.
[00:29:52]  I refuse to believe that Hollywood producer Robert Evans did not hunt children for sport at least once.
[00:29:58]  There's just no way.
[00:30:00]  Yeah.
[00:30:00]  Those glasses were just ghosts.
[00:30:03]  He laughed like a man who has hunted the most dangerous game.
[00:30:09]  Anyway, here's ads.
[00:30:16]  There's two golden rules that any man should live by.
[00:30:20]  Rule one, never mess with a country girl.
[00:30:23]  You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.
[00:30:26]  And rule two, never mess with her friends either.
[00:30:30]  We always say, trust your girlfriends.
[00:30:33]  I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of The Girlfriends, oh my God, this is the same man.
[00:30:39]  A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist.
[00:30:44]  I felt like I got hit by a truck.
[00:30:46]  I thought, how could this happen to me?
[00:30:48]  The cops didn't seem to care.

=== Will Farrell Returns (02:59) ===

[00:30:50]  So they take matters into their own hands.
[00:30:53]  I said, oh, hell no.
[00:30:54]  I vowed.
[00:30:55]  I will be his last target.
[00:30:57]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[00:31:01]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[00:31:03]  Trust me, babe.
[00:31:04]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:31:14]  Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back.
[00:31:19]  I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting.
[00:31:24]  Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.
[00:31:30]  Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name.
[00:31:39]  And this season, I've sat down with Alessia Cara, Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more.
[00:31:44]  Check out my new episode with Josh Grobin.
[00:31:47]  You related to the Phantom at that point.
[00:31:50]  Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
[00:31:52]  That's so funny.
[00:31:54]  Share each day with me each night, each morning.
[00:32:02]  Say you love me.
[00:32:05]  You know I.
[00:32:07]  So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to Playing Along on the iHeartRadio app.
[00:32:11]  Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:32:14]  I'm Laurie Siegel, and on Mostly Human, I go beyond the headlines with the people building our future.
[00:32:20]  This week, an interview with one of the most influential figures in Silicon Valley, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.
[00:32:27]  I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to products we put out in the world.
[00:32:33]  From power to parenthood.
[00:32:35]  Kids, teenagers, I think they will need a lot of guardrails around AI.
[00:32:39]  This is such a powerful and such a new thing.
[00:32:41]  From addiction to acceleration.
[00:32:43]  The world we live in is a competitive world, and I don't think that's going to stop, even if you did a lot of redistribution.
[00:32:48]  You know, we have a deep desire to excel and be competitive and gain status and be useful to others.
[00:32:54]  And it's a multiplayer game.
[00:32:57]  What does the man who has extraordinary influence over our lives have to say about the weight of that responsibility?
[00:33:03]  Find out on Mostly Human.
[00:33:05]  My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI.
[00:33:08]  Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
[00:33:16]  What's up, everyone?
[00:33:17]  I'm Ego Modem.
[00:33:18]  My next guest, you know, from Step Brothers, Anchorman, Saturday Night Live, and the Big Money Players Network, it's Will Farrell.
[00:33:29]  My dad gave me the best advice ever.
[00:33:32]  I went and had lunch with him one day, and I was like, and dad, I think I want to really give this a shot.
[00:33:37]  I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings.
[00:33:40]  I'm working my way up through and I know it's a place they come look for up and coming talent.
[00:33:44]  He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet.

=== The Wiretap Program (15:33) ===

[00:33:49]  Yeah.
[00:33:49]  He goes, but there's so much luck involved.
[00:33:52]  And he's like, just give it a shot.
[00:33:54]  He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit.
[00:34:02]  If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.
[00:34:05]  It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat.
[00:34:11]  Just hang in there.
[00:34:12]  Yeah, it would not be.
[00:34:14]  Right, it wouldn't be that.
[00:34:15]  There's a lot of luck.
[00:34:16]  Listen to Thanks Dad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:34:26]  We're back.
[00:34:27]  Now, in our Cambodia episode, I mentioned, and by the way, we're done with the sex stuff.
[00:34:32]  You made it through.
[00:34:33]  Wow.
[00:34:34]  I ripped my sweatpants.
[00:34:36]  My sweatpants have ripped.
[00:34:37]  God.
[00:34:39]  Please get back to the killer.
[00:34:42]  Well, don't worry.
[00:34:44]  In our Cambodia episode, I mentioned that the illegal bombing of Cambodia was leaked to the New York Times.
[00:34:50]  And this was a big story, and it prompted Nixon to suspect that Kissinger's liberal staffers had been the ones who had done the leaking.
[00:34:59]  And so after this gets leaked, Kissinger and Nixon work together to orchestrate a wiretapping program.
[00:35:04]  While Kissinger initially ran the whole program, he was actually in charge for only like a day.
[00:35:10]  Nixon decided pretty quickly that he didn't trust Kissinger after all, namely because Herbert Hoover expected that Kissinger was the one leaking things.
[00:35:17]  And this is because Kissinger absolutely was leaking things.
[00:35:20]  Now, he was not leaking the bombing of Cambodia, right?
[00:35:23]  But Kissinger had his favorite journalists that he'd leak things to.
[00:35:27]  Some of them were guys he wanted to write a book about him, you know, and so he wanted them to give him positive coverage.
[00:35:32]  Some of them were like leaks in order to hurt other people in the administration because there's just constant, it's Nixon's.
[00:35:37]  We're not getting into this enough, but Nixon's administration is just like an endless series of power struggles.
[00:35:42]  Everyone is fucking over everybody else, right?
[00:35:44]  Like that's the Nixon administration.
[00:35:46]  Right.
[00:35:47]  That's incredible.
[00:35:48]  Yeah, it's really quite a tale.
[00:35:52]  So, yeah, Kissinger's absolutely leaking some stuff.
[00:35:55]  And that said, Nixon is pretty aware of who Kissinger is leaking things to.
[00:35:59]  And as Walter Isaacson writes, the real reason why he pulled Henry from overseeing the program was that the two were having one of their periodic feuds.
[00:36:07]  Nixon actually made the call to pull Kissinger from the wiretapping program right before he flew to Camp David and stopped returning Kissinger's phone calls for a week.
[00:36:16]  It's this thing they it was like fucking 19-year-olds fighting.
[00:36:20]  It's very they literally had just little tiffs and they said little tiffs, you know, they mentioned him to voicemail.
[00:36:27]  Put him to voicemail.
[00:36:29]  There's so much petty bullshit between Kissinger and Nixon.
[00:36:32]  And they're very much like, if you've ever been in a codependent relationship, Kissinger and Nixon will seem extremely familiar because they'll like be fighting over some stupid bullshit and then things will get bad and they'll like come together and be like all collapsing at the same time as they're propping each other up.
[00:36:48]  It's very funny.
[00:36:51]  I mean millions die, but I'm sorry that I said that to you earlier.
[00:36:55]  Well, I've been waiting for your apology.
[00:36:57]  I can't stay mad at you.
[00:36:58]  That's how I say that.
[00:36:59]  Who else will I bomb Cambodia with?
[00:37:01]  Look, we have too many people to kill to stay mad at each other for this long.
[00:37:07]  Get over here, you piece of shit.
[00:37:09]  Despite Nixon periodically being angry with him, throughout the duration of the wiretapping program, Henry Kissinger retained the ability to pretty much wiretap American citizens at command.
[00:37:20]  He would submit names to the FBI, who would start a wiretap on that person.
[00:37:24]  When the secret wiretapping program was leaked in 1973 and it blew up into a big congressional inquiry, Nixon took the blame, defending Kissinger by saying it was his responsibility not to control the program, but solely to furnish information to the FBI.
[00:37:39]  So what they claimed is like Kissinger wasn't ordering wiretaps.
[00:37:42]  He was giving the FBI information on people we thought were suspicious, and they would decide to wiretap.
[00:37:47]  And it's a coincidence that all he would do was hand them a name and they would immediately start the wiretap.
[00:37:51]  Right.
[00:37:52]  It's like he would give the garment to the bloodhound, but he exactly looking for him.
[00:38:00]  So it's also, though, like, this might be the moment that proves Dick Nixon was actually a better person than Henry Kissinger.
[00:38:08]  Oh, because he did, like, kind of take a hit for his team.
[00:38:14]  Not that he wasn't responsible for the wiretapping.
[00:38:19]  In the land of no respect, a man with one ounce has at all.
[00:38:23]  It was like a tiny, tiny dollop, if you will, of honor from Henry Kissinger.
[00:38:28]  And we just never see that or from Nixon.
[00:38:31]  And we just never see that from Kissinger.
[00:38:34]  It's kind of like saying that like a cheese grater is better to fuck than the blade of a jigsaw, but you know, it's something.
[00:38:41]  Boy, that went, that got really.
[00:38:43]  Well, no, now that I think about it, I mean, if someone laid it on the table, right?
[00:38:48]  Yeah.
[00:38:49]  Well, let's hand me that cheese traitor.
[00:38:51]  Let's grate this cheese.
[00:38:52]  What do we say, gentlemen?
[00:38:53]  I'm going to drop Trout.
[00:38:54]  Let's get Grater.
[00:38:56]  So here's how the secret wiretapping program worked.
[00:38:59]  Kissinger and another Nixon dude, I think it was Haldeman, would submit names to the FBI, which the FBI viewed as requests, right?
[00:39:07]  The transcripts of that person's conversations then would all be sent to Kissinger's desk.
[00:39:11]  So he got direct transcripts of every wiretap personally, and he would decide what to bring to Nixon.
[00:39:16]  He wasn't the only guy.
[00:39:17]  Because again, Nixon had multiple people kind of competing through this program, right?
[00:39:22]  Right.
[00:39:22]  He's like the head writer.
[00:39:24]  Yeah.
[00:39:24]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:39:25]  Yeah.
[00:39:25]  So James Adams, head of the FBI's intelligence division, later told a biography that he did not think there was, quote, more or less wiretapping under Nixon than under previous presidents.
[00:39:36]  What made things unusual then was that the wiretaps Nixon and Kissinger ordered were on NSC staff, individuals that were part of the White House family, in Isaacson's words, right?
[00:39:47]  Quote, in other words, previous wiretaps had mainly been on suspected spies, potentially subversive union leaders and the like.
[00:39:53]  A regular program of wiretapping one's own aides was, according to Thomas Smith, another top FBI official, unprecedented.
[00:40:00]  Oh my God.
[00:40:02]  It's amazing.
[00:40:03]  Like, that's what's amazing, right?
[00:40:05]  It's like, well, no, it's not unusual to ask for this many wiretaps.
[00:40:08]  It's just normally on people that you're worried about like attacking the country, not people who you've hired.
[00:40:13]  The FBI is like, you know, we're okay with spying on dissidents, but they made us spy on their friends and we feel gross about this.
[00:40:21]  You see, Henry Kissinger's wiretapping Nixon.
[00:40:24]  Yeah, he's getting very caddy.
[00:40:28]  Kissinger's just asked for a wiretap on himself.
[00:40:31]  I want to see what I'm up to.
[00:40:33]  I don't trust myself.
[00:40:35]  You were joking, but you have accurately predicted where the story goes.
[00:40:39]  No!
[00:40:39]  What the fuck?
[00:40:41]  What?
[00:40:42]  What?
[00:40:44]  This is such a weird chapter of American politics.
[00:40:50]  Oh, my God.
[00:40:51]  I am such a fucking asshole.
[00:40:53]  Look at what I was saying.
[00:40:54]  Oh, my God.
[00:40:55]  So these wiretaps were all considered legal at the time.
[00:40:59]  Although the Supreme Court did later determine that they were illegal, it was kind of like one of these at the time they were legal.
[00:41:05]  And because of how gross they were, the Supreme Court was like, you know what?
[00:41:08]  No.
[00:41:10]  And thankfully, the U.S. never, never wiretapped people again.
[00:41:13]  That's the end of it.
[00:41:14]  That's the end of it.
[00:41:15]  Famously.
[00:41:16]  That's why Edward Snowden is famous for his reveal that no one was ever wiretapped again.
[00:41:21]  That's why we don't know who Edward Snowden is.
[00:41:23]  Yes.
[00:41:24]  Famous private citizen living in Ohio, Edward Snowden.
[00:41:28]  Pull a name out of the air.
[00:41:30]  Random guy.
[00:41:35]  So a tremendous amount has been written on the subject of the wiretapping in the Nixon administration.
[00:41:40]  I'm not going to go too into detail on it because as sleazy as it is, wiretapping your friends doesn't quite measure up to war crimes.
[00:41:47]  Like it's gross, but it's also not that gross in context.
[00:41:50]  Super weird.
[00:41:51]  Yeah, it's just like weird.
[00:41:53]  It's a weird thing about them.
[00:41:55]  There is something I should read here that reveals something meaningful about Henry's character.
[00:41:59]  William Sapphire was a New York Times op-ed columnist and a Nixon speechwriter.
[00:42:05]  He later said that Kissinger was, quote, capable of getting a special thrill out of working most closely with those he spied on the most.
[00:42:11]  So like Sapphire's attitude is like he was doing this mainly because he thought it was like kind of hot to be wiretapping a guy that he was orgasms.
[00:42:22]  Yeah.
[00:42:23]  Finally.
[00:42:24]  It's the power thing.
[00:42:25]  It's the power thing.
[00:42:26]  Yeah.
[00:42:27]  He knows he's he loves that he's like fucking over someone he's just hanging out with and talking to and they don't know.
[00:42:33]  He's like sliver.
[00:42:35]  Yeah, he gets like this crazy thrill out of it.
[00:42:38]  Yeah.
[00:42:39]  He knows secrets about them.
[00:42:40]  Like, oh, God, it's so fucking weird.
[00:42:42]  Going to wiretap that.
[00:42:47]  So he gets like, yeah, that quote from Kissinger, power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
[00:42:52]  It's usually translated to him being like, that's why women are so into me, right?
[00:42:55]  Because power turns people on.
[00:42:57]  But I think it literally means that like he kind of gets off on exercising power, right?
[00:43:02]  Like 100%.
[00:43:02]  That's his thing.
[00:43:03]  Oh, my God.
[00:43:04]  I can even fuck my friends over.
[00:43:09]  It is also worth noting that Henry wiretapped himself.
[00:43:12]  Once he took office, he had a secret.
[00:43:14]  I was kidding.
[00:43:15]  I know, I know, but it happened.
[00:43:19]  Once he took office, he had a secretary listen in on all of his calls and take memo notes on his conversations.
[00:43:25]  He also had a series of what are called dead key extensions added to phones.
[00:43:29]  These are keys that were secretly added to phones in his office so that his secretaries and aides could like press them to listen in on calls without other people knowing and take notes on the calls.
[00:43:40]  When Nixon would call Kissinger drunk, slurring his words, Kissinger would like wave all of his people and be like, get in here, get in here, get in here, like pick up the phone, pick up the phone.
[00:43:48]  It's like we got one.
[00:43:51]  And then he would make faces making fun of the president while his notes, his like aides listened to it.
[00:43:56]  Okay.
[00:43:57]  I mean, just take a look at.
[00:44:01]  That's the coolest thing about it.
[00:44:04]  Take a step back and realize that Henry Kissinger is making fun of the wiretap he's called on himself while he's talking to the president who's blackout drunk.
[00:44:16]  It's something else.
[00:44:17]  While a war is happening.
[00:44:20]  Not to minimize how fucked up, you know, the current administration to the previous administration was, but by God, America still has not reached the Nixon peak of craziness.
[00:44:31]  We've gotten it in like pieces, but we've never had the further company.
[00:44:35]  They've never had like the full team together again.
[00:44:38]  Yeah, you can't.
[00:44:39]  It's really hard to compete with Dick Nixon and Henry Kissinger.
[00:44:42]  And I mean, I'm talking about ahead of his time.
[00:44:45]  Oh, my God.
[00:44:46]  His stuff age is great.
[00:44:49]  Oh, man.
[00:44:50]  So Kissinger also used the transcripts he made to attack his co-workers and reinforce his loyalty to the president.
[00:44:56]  When his colleagues said something to him that he knew Nixon would hate, or when someone made a comment agreeing with Kissinger on an issue, he would pass those notes from his secret conversations on to the president.
[00:45:06]  So he would hand the president like a transcript of a call he'd had with like a thing underlined that made Kissinger look good.
[00:45:12]  Oh my God.
[00:45:14]  From Kissinger, a biography.
[00:45:16]  Quote, William Sapphire, who dubbed the transcripts the dead key scrolls, said he once saw Kissinger altering one to shore up a point he wanted to make to the president.
[00:45:24]  He had been chewing out a reporter from the Christian Science Monitor for writing a story that was unfavorable to Nixon.
[00:45:29]  In doing so, he also tossed in occasional complaints about the perfidy of Secretary Rogers.
[00:45:34]  Since he was planning to send the transcript to the president, Sapphire said, he had taken a draft and edited it, adding to the fierce loyalty of his own remarks.
[00:45:42]  So he would like mark it up to make him be more of a kiss ass to kick to Nixon.
[00:45:46]  I mean fucking incredible.
[00:45:49]  Nixon's also like hammered.
[00:45:51]  It's like, how hard do you have to work to like convince this guy?
[00:45:54]  You know what I mean?
[00:45:54]  Yeah, hand him a Mai Tai.
[00:45:56]  Like it's easy.
[00:45:57]  There you go.
[00:45:57]  This is from Trader Vicks.
[00:45:58]  Like, you're my best friend.
[00:46:00]  I love you, Henry.
[00:46:01]  I never had a closer friend than you, Hank.
[00:46:04]  Look at how much of a bitch I am.
[00:46:08]  The existence of these transcripts was revealed by the Washington Post in 1971, but Kissinger insisted they were just for the president's files.
[00:46:16]  In reality, he used them as notes to write his two books that he published after leaving power.
[00:46:22]  But he was canny enough to know they had damning information.
[00:46:25]  So when he considered quitting the Nixon administration in 1973, he had them all shipped to a bomb shelter at Nelson Rockefeller's house.
[00:46:33]  I mean, listen to what you just happened.
[00:46:35]  I know what you just said.
[00:46:39]  Every third sentence you have to write about these guys.
[00:46:43]  This is like magnet fridge poetry.
[00:46:45]  Yeah.
[00:46:47]  Yeah.
[00:46:47]  He illegally hid government files in Nelson Rockefeller's private bomb shelter.
[00:46:52]  It's just like, it feels like.
[00:46:54]  Rockefeller, may I use your bomb shelter for storage?
[00:46:59]  I need to put my biography notes there.
[00:47:02]  Of course.
[00:47:03]  Of course, Henry.
[00:47:03]  That's.
[00:47:04]  You know what I always say?
[00:47:05]  My bomb shelter's yours.
[00:47:07]  These are what?
[00:47:08]  Short stories, right?
[00:47:09]  Yes.
[00:47:10]  Sure, yeah.
[00:47:10]  Whatever you need to tell yourself.
[00:47:13]  I need them safe in case there's a nuclear war.
[00:47:17]  So obviously, this is very illegal.
[00:47:20]  And when Kissinger decided not to quit the administration, he had a military liaison send a plane to pick them up from Rockefeller's house.
[00:47:27]  And then he hid them in a bomb shelter under the White House.
[00:47:29]  Oh, after he left us.
[00:47:34]  There's no rules for these people.
[00:47:35]  Yeah.
[00:47:36]  They're fucking notes.
[00:47:38]  They don't need to survive the fucking nuclear holocaust.
[00:47:41]  How great, though, if a bomb is incoming towards the White House and they all go there and it's just stacked with Kissinger papers.
[00:47:47]  Yeah.
[00:47:48]  This guy was a real piece of shit.
[00:47:49]  This is awkward.
[00:47:51]  I think we're all going to perish.
[00:47:53]  Yeah, he's just sitting in the corner.
[00:47:55]  I don't think you should read those.
[00:48:00]  So after he left office, Kissinger donated the papers to the Library of Congress under the restriction that they would not be made available until he had been dead for five years.
[00:48:09]  He's been dead for five years.
[00:48:13]  We should be able to read them now.
[00:48:14]  Who makes that deal?
[00:48:16]  It's not a great thing.
[00:48:17]  The Library of Congress.
[00:48:20]  Jesus Christ.
[00:48:22]  By the way, most people do the after I die.
[00:48:26]  He wants the five-year buffer, which sounds a little unique.
[00:48:30]  He wants time for people to get things out of the country.
[00:48:34]  I want to make sure I'm pure bone.
[00:48:36]  Yeah.
[00:48:38]  So Kissinger was also convinced that Nixon's chief of staff, Haldeman, had Nixon wiretapped and Nixon.
[00:48:44]  Sorry, Kissinger was also convinced that Nixon's chief of staff, Haldeman, and Nixon had wiretapped him, which they absolutely had.
[00:48:51]  So Kissinger was kind of tapping himself, but Nixon had also wiretapped Kissinger.
[00:48:55]  And when he passed Haldeman in the hall, Kissinger would say, What do your tops tell you about me today?
[00:49:03]  It's almost, remember that?
[00:49:05]  What was it?
[00:49:05]  I don't remember when I was on where Lily Tomlin was the one ringy-dingy operator who keeps plugging in all it's almost like that with wiretaps, where you're just like, every wire is getting plugged and crossed.
[00:49:15]  Nixon's wiretapping Kissinger, who's wiretapping himself, who's wiretapping Nixon, who's also wiretapping Haldeman, who's wiretapping Kissinger, who's also wiretapping Nixon.

=== Woodward Breaks Silence (14:42) ===

[00:49:23]  And that's why we know so much about not just like the crimes they committed, but like what they were saying in the meetings while they committed the crimes.
[00:49:30]  Yeah.
[00:49:31]  Because unbeknownst to Kissinger and to everyone else, Nixon was also wiretapping himself.
[00:49:37]  Like he recorded every conversation that he had in the Oval Office in secret.
[00:49:43]  That to me is like one of the most, I mean, it's why we know so much because if you are able to like, if Trump or I mean, if any of them, I mean, if you had the Bush tapes, like they would be fucking incredible.
[00:49:56]  But it's also that Nixon recorded himself and then was like, okay, take them.
[00:50:01]  And everyone's like, the fuck, are you drunk?
[00:50:03]  And he's like, I am actually.
[00:50:05]  I am extremely, I am so drunk, my Secretary of Defense has a contingency plan in case I try to nuke everyone.
[00:50:12]  Checker's never been that drunk.
[00:50:14]  No one has.
[00:50:19]  So this was a secret until the Watergate scandal was revealed at the end of 1972.
[00:50:24]  Kissinger was warned about this, that like the Watergate story was about to break two months ahead of time.
[00:50:29]  And he was horrified by the implications, namely by the fact by the things we've already gone over at length, that he had like he was on tape in these records, agreeing and encouraging with Nixon's bigotry and his copious racial slurs.
[00:50:42]  So like Kissinger is not involved in Watergate.
[00:50:45]  So he's like, I'm not worried about that.
[00:50:47]  I'm worried that everyone's going to know that I was like egging Nixon's bigotry on in order to kiss his ass.
[00:50:53]  Yeah.
[00:50:54]  Amazing for him to be horrified.
[00:50:56]  Like of all the things he's done, like for this to be like, it's always like the weirdest thing, but it's like for this to for him to be like, this could really damage my credibility.
[00:51:06]  It's like people might make when he was asked about this later, about like encouraging Nixon's bigotry, Kissinger explained that the things he'd said to Nixon were based on quote the needs of the moment rather than to quote stand the test of deferred scrutiny, which was a nice way of saying I'm only racist around racists.
[00:51:27]  In one of the most impressive feats of mental gymnastics in political history, Kissinger actually argued that his egging Nixon on was meant to protect the American people.
[00:51:37]  Quote, he was so much in need of succor, so totally alone.
[00:51:41]  Our national security depended so much on his functioning.
[00:51:45]  It's called yes and, okay.
[00:51:49]  He was Chicago school.
[00:51:50]  It's called the Improv Olympic Pal.
[00:51:54]  I mean, again, to be able to get away with that argument, it just should not be allowed.
[00:52:01]  Now, speaking of Nixon's functioning, it's probably time to talk a little more about Watergate.
[00:52:06]  As previously covered, in 1971, Nixon and his team, including Kissinger, hired a goon squad of ex-FBI and CIA agents called the Plumbers and asked them to investigate the leak of the Pentagon papers.
[00:52:19]  These guys broke into the office of Daniel Ellsberg.
[00:52:21]  That's the guy who leaked the Pentagon Papers.
[00:52:23]  He was a Department of Defense employee.
[00:52:25]  They break into the office of his psychiatrist to try and steal records to smear him.
[00:52:30]  In 1972, one of the plumbers, G. Gordon Liddy, was transferred to the committee to re-elect the president.
[00:52:36]  The acronym of this organization was literally creep because satire has never happened even once.
[00:52:41]  Like, it's impossible.
[00:52:43]  Nope.
[00:52:43]  It's over.
[00:52:44]  It's over.
[00:52:45]  Liddy's team executed a wide-ranging plan to illegally spy on the Democratic Party, which ended with them breaking into DNC headquarters in the Watergate building in D.C. and bugging the phones of staffers.
[00:52:56]  They got arrested almost immediately.
[00:52:59]  Like that night, they get busted, right?
[00:53:01]  That's like when this all starts.
[00:53:03]  And so that's what, like, the fact that this, like, the Watergate scandal and public knowledge starts is like these guys getting arrested doing a break-in.
[00:53:09]  Keys a crime reporter named Bob Woodward in on the case.
[00:53:12]  He was not a political journalist.
[00:53:14]  He was like a crime beat DC reporter, but he hears about this break-in and he's like, something's fucking going on here.
[00:53:20]  And he winds up making, you know, contacts with a guy who we later, eventually, like decades later, learned was the associate director of the FBI.
[00:53:28]  That's deep throat, you know, famously.
[00:53:30]  This guy gives him information and the Washington Post under Woodward and Bernstein, right?
[00:53:34]  He has a partner in it too.
[00:53:35]  Like they're both doing very good journalism here.
[00:53:38]  They start dropping articles at the tail end of 1972.
[00:53:41]  And a trial over the break-in starts in 1973, January, right after Nixon wins re-election.
[00:53:47]  While Woodward and his partner, Carl Bernstein, were running down leads, they got in touch with another FBI guy and asked him, hey, who kept authorizing all of these wiretaps?
[00:53:57]  That FBI guy said, well, Henry Kissinger.
[00:54:01]  In a lot of cases, it's Kissinger.
[00:54:03]  He's like our main guy calling us.
[00:54:05]  So Woodward calls Henry Kissinger, who plays dumb at first and then tries to blame Haldeman for the wiretapping.
[00:54:12]  Woodward asked, okay, well, is it possible you were the one doing wiretapping, Henry?
[00:54:17]  And Kissinger says, I don't believe it was true.
[00:54:20]  Woodward asks, what?
[00:54:22]  Yeah.
[00:54:23]  That's such a weasel answer.
[00:54:25]  He's four years old.
[00:54:27]  Woodward asks, is that a denial?
[00:54:29]  And Kissinger responds, I frankly don't remember.
[00:54:33]  I mean, it's kind of like, it is kind of like nice to see the genesis because the I don't remember thing is just utilized so much now.
[00:54:43]  Yeah.
[00:54:44]  It's like one of the first, like where you're just like, I think if I just say I forgot, I can get away with this shit.
[00:54:50]  Yeah, you can imagine a young Bill Clinton reading this news story and saying, I'm not sure why, but I think I'm going to take notes on this.
[00:54:56]  I remember ejaculating, but I don't remember how that come to be.
[00:55:05]  It's also, it shows you like how insulated they were in their psychotic little dome that once they actually take their tactics out in the real world, people are like, yeah, that's a crime and we have you.
[00:55:14]  They're like, oh, shit.
[00:55:16]  Fuck.
[00:55:17]  What's it?
[00:55:17]  I'm saying, fuck!
[00:55:19]  The president's drunk.
[00:55:22]  So Kissinger admitted after that line of questioning that he might have given the FBI the names of some people who had access to leaked documents.
[00:55:29]  And quote, it's quite possible they construed this as an authorization.
[00:55:35]  So once he makes this admission to Woodward, Henry starts to get looser.
[00:55:39]  And he talks about how he figured he probably should take responsibility for the wiretapping.
[00:55:44]  And then he realized almost immediately, like, oh, shit, I fucked up.
[00:55:47]  And he asks Bob Woodward, you aren't quoting me, right?
[00:55:50]  Like, he's like, this isn't on the record, is it?
[00:55:53]  That's how it works, too, right?
[00:55:54]  You put it on the record and then you're like, that's off record, right?
[00:55:57]  Woodward says, of course, this is on the record.
[00:55:59]  Like, what the fuck?
[00:56:00]  Like, I never said this was off the record.
[00:56:03]  What's wrong with you?
[00:56:04]  Kissinger insisted, well, I was only speaking on background.
[00:56:07]  Quote, I've tried to be honest, and now you're going to penalize me.
[00:56:11]  In five years in Washington, I've never been trapped into talking like this.
[00:56:15]  If a journalist calls you and asks you questions as the Secretary of State.
[00:56:21]  You're calling us BFF, right?
[00:56:23]  Yeah, you just wanted to chat, right?
[00:56:25]  I was just going to chew the feds for a while, I thought.
[00:56:27]  How are you?
[00:56:28]  What crimes have you committed, Bob?
[00:56:30]  Yeah.
[00:56:32]  It's fascinating.
[00:56:33]  It's so dumb.
[00:56:34]  It's so dumb.
[00:56:36]  And it shows what fucking tame little pricks the entirety of the White House press corps were, right?
[00:56:41]  Yeah.
[00:56:42]  Because Kissinger thought he could get away with this.
[00:56:44]  And he finally encountered like an actual journalist for the once.
[00:56:48]  Yes.
[00:56:49]  And just like 30 seconds with Woodward, and he's blown wide open.
[00:56:54]  And he just cannot handle it.
[00:56:56]  Yeah.
[00:56:57]  He's just pissing his pants, crying.
[00:56:59]  You know what it is?
[00:57:00]  Have you seen those videos of like those fucking those Tai Chi champions who are like in those videos fighting their students where they're just like flipping everyone around the room, throwing them.
[00:57:10]  And then like they fight an actual MMA fighter who just like takes them down in 13 seconds?
[00:57:15]  Yeah.
[00:57:16]  Yeah.
[00:57:17]  It's like how Seagal fights where I say Putin's judo.
[00:57:23]  Yeah.
[00:57:25]  It is.
[00:57:26]  This is the moment for Kissinger that's like when Stephen Seagal got choked out by Gene LaBelle and shattered his pants.
[00:57:34]  All right.
[00:57:35]  All right.
[00:57:35]  Hey, I'm the stock.
[00:57:37]  Come on.
[00:57:38]  Come on, no.
[00:57:39]  We play fake.
[00:57:41]  Next from Kissinger a biography, quote, Woodward wondered what kind of treatment Kissinger was accustomed to getting from the press.
[00:57:47]  He consulted Murray Martyr, the kindly soft-edged diplomatic reporter who covered Kissinger for the post.
[00:57:52]  Well, Martyr admitted, Henry was regularly allowed to put statements on background after he had made them.
[00:57:58]  I mean, it really, it does.
[00:58:00]  And what's so frustrating is that it's like, you know, they've all kind of learned from the mistakes of this time in ways where it is, it's kind of the same shit.
[00:58:11]  I mean, everything is kind of a fluff piece.
[00:58:13]  You're allowed to be in the White House press corps if you ask softball questions.
[00:58:17]  You know, it like this, this was like a major fuck up.
[00:58:22]  And they all were like, well, the lesson we've learned here is don't let good reporters around you.
[00:58:27]  Yeah, don't let journalists exist.
[00:58:30]  Yeah.
[00:58:31]  It's one of those, God, there's so much going on here.
[00:58:35]  It really is.
[00:58:36]  This is like, we are peeking.
[00:58:38]  There are ways in which, like, there are times when journalism does work that way, right?
[00:58:41]  When I am like sitting down and talking to like a fucking dissident or a protester, someone who like might be targeted by the state or by, you know, fucking fascists or whatever and murdered.
[00:58:51]  And they like say something and then later are like, oh, you know, can I take that off the record?
[00:58:55]  I'm worried that's going to like reveal me.
[00:58:56]  Yeah, of course.
[00:58:57]  Like I'm not going to like it.
[00:58:57]  Yeah, you could get killed.
[00:58:58]  But like, it doesn't, it should never work that way for cabinet level fucking government officials.
[00:59:05]  Yeah, right.
[00:59:06]  They don't, they can't, if you agree ahead of time to make something off the record, yeah, that that happens.
[00:59:10]  That's like a thing that occurs, although I think that's problematic too.
[00:59:14]  But like, they don't get to just take something off the record retroactively.
[00:59:17]  That's not how it works.
[00:59:19]  Yeah.
[00:59:19]  And I mean, all they care about is access, so they don't care about the actual story.
[00:59:23]  They just want to talk to him again.
[00:59:25]  Yeah, they want to keep getting access.
[00:59:27]  It is.
[00:59:27]  It's like it needs to be a group of people need to say that this is all fucked, but instead they're like, oh, what a great cocktail party.
[00:59:34]  And Woodward, to his credit, there's critiques to make about Woodward later in his career, but to his credit, Woodward's like, I don't give a shit about access.
[00:59:41]  I'm trying to take down a president.
[00:59:43]  Like, I could give a fuck who I missed off here, you know?
[00:59:47]  Like.
[00:59:50]  So Nixon eventually took the fall, as we've covered, but the issue was brought up again in 1973 when Kissinger went through his confirmation hearings to become Secretary of State.
[01:00:01]  We don't need to cover the politicking he did to secure that job, but I should note all the fallout over wiretapping and the disaster in Cambodia didn't do shit to reduce Henry's popularity at home.
[01:00:11]  In 1972, he had ranked fourth on the list of most admired Americans.
[01:00:15]  In 1973, he was number one, largely because Harry Truden died.
[01:00:21]  Which is also pretty bleak.
[01:00:23]  What the fuck?
[01:00:25]  Yeah, baby.
[01:00:26]  We are.
[01:00:27]  I mean, and that's when you're like, we deserve it.
[01:00:30]  I mean, if you are that incapable of deciphering reality from fiction, to some extent, you want to be taken advantage of.
[01:00:39]  Yeah.
[01:00:39]  Yeah.
[01:00:40]  You're the rube who opens the door to the vacuum cleaner salesman.
[01:00:44]  Yeah.
[01:00:44]  Well, okay.
[01:00:45]  Yeah.
[01:00:45]  Pour some shirt on my floor.
[01:00:46]  I want to see how this thing sucks.
[01:00:48]  You need my social security number, of course.
[01:00:50]  Okay.
[01:00:51]  And you promise I get $500,000 in the mail.
[01:00:54]  Okay.
[01:00:55]  So one congressman proposed a constitutional amendment to allow foreign-born citizens to run for president because of like how much he liked fucking Kissinger.
[01:01:04]  I don't like Henry.
[01:01:05]  Henry received a figure at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in London, which quickly became the star attraction.
[01:01:12]  Miss Universe pageant contestants voted him, quote, the greatest person in the world today.
[01:01:18]  Is it possible that we just put a heart in the Madame Toussaux figure and melted it, and that's what's walking around now?
[01:01:25]  Yeah, that's we just left it in the sun for a week.
[01:01:29]  Like you bring up the media, like this is just so like, they just normalize monsters.
[01:01:33]  They act like monsters are great people.
[01:01:35]  Yeah.
[01:01:35]  And people don't actually hear the fucking heinous shit that they're doing.
[01:01:40]  No.
[01:01:40]  And they just hear he's a smart guy, but it's because that's what matters.
[01:01:44]  He can like quote smart dead people that they you haven't read, but you know they're smart because their name sounds vaguely familiar.
[01:01:51]  And so you're like, well, this guy's read all these smart dudes.
[01:01:53]  He must be a good guy because smart people don't do bad things.
[01:01:57]  Well, and smart people don't like go out with reporters.
[01:01:59]  And, you know, it would just be like, look at Frankenstein at the Playboy Mansion.
[01:02:03]  Gosh, he's got those bolts on his neck and the girls love to twirl him.
[01:02:10]  So it is perhaps not surprising, even though the Watergate scandal had built to a fever pitch by 73, that Henry Kissinger was a shoe-in to be appointed as Secretary of State.
[01:02:19]  On the day of his first congressional confirmation hearings, someone in the press asked, do you prefer to be called Mr. Secretary or Dr. Secretary?
[01:02:27]  He replied, I do not stand on protocol.
[01:02:30]  If you just call me Excellency, it will be okay.
[01:02:33]  Oh, excuse me.
[01:02:36]  Pardon?
[01:02:37]  And again, as a journalist, the proper response to that is to throw your handheld reporter at his face.
[01:02:45]  Like, try to take a chair to his nose like they did to Geraldo.
[01:02:48]  Yeah, right, yeah.
[01:02:50]  Break his face.
[01:02:52]  Oh, I'm not hung up on titles.
[01:02:54]  You can just bow and call me on Majesty.
[01:02:58]  So Kissinger was extremely nervous going into the confirmation hearings because, again, Nixon is being torn apart for Watergate right now.
[01:03:06]  And he was expecting that he'd be interrogated about all the shady wiretapping he'd done.
[01:03:10]  But as it turned out, all he had to do was lie and say he'd never recommended wiretapping.
[01:03:15]  Everyone decided that was fine.
[01:03:16]  And he was confirmed as Secretary of State 78 votes to 77.
[01:03:20]  Jesus fucking Christian.
[01:03:22]  Here's the thing: even among the people who voted against him, there was not always strong antipathy.
[01:03:27]  George McGovern voted against confirming him, but he called Kissinger afterwards to privately endorse him, to be like, hey, publicly, I got to pretend I don't like you, but like, all right, bro.
[01:03:41]  And don't worry, someday I'll be the president.
[01:03:43]  And I got my eye on you, Henry.
[01:03:45]  Yeah.
[01:03:46]  I mean, honestly, that might have happened.
[01:03:49]  Yeah, probably.
[01:03:50]  So when he was sworn in on September 21st, 1973, a family friend presented Kissinger with a copy of the Old Testament that had been published in Firth in 1801 for him to be sworn in on.
[01:04:01]  Kissinger decided instead to use Nixon's copy of the King James Bible.

=== Chilean Coup Secrets (06:31) ===

[01:04:06]  They just open it.
[01:04:06]  It's a bottle of bourbon.
[01:04:07]  Oh, I'm sorry.
[01:04:08]  It's just a bottle of bourbon.
[01:04:09]  Poopsy poopsy.
[01:04:11]  Let's use that other one.
[01:04:11]  It's just that first one.
[01:04:14]  So, alas for Dick Nixon, 74 was an even worse year for him than 73 had been.
[01:04:20]  In July of that year, three Southern Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee announced that they were voting to impeach him.
[01:04:25]  On August 5th, a transcript of taped conversations between him and Haldeman was released, which proved his involvement in the cover-up of the Watergate break-in and proved he'd lied under oath.
[01:04:35]  This was the nail in the coffin.
[01:04:37]  On August 7th, Barry Goldwater told Nixon he would not survive an impeachment vote.
[01:04:42]  Nixon had already made the decision to leave.
[01:04:44]  He met with Jerry Ford, his vice president, and told him that he was about to be president.
[01:04:49]  He urged Ford to keep Kissinger on as his Secretary of State.
[01:04:53]  Then Nixon made his big announcement to the American people.
[01:04:56]  Next, from history.com.
[01:04:58]  After the speech, Kissinger accompanied Nixon to his living quarters one last time.
[01:05:02]  History is going to record that you were a great president, Kissinger assured Nixon.
[01:05:07]  Henry, the president said, that will depend on who writes the history.
[01:05:13]  Can you imagine a wasted Nixon showing Gerald Ford around like, so this is the vodka?
[01:05:19]  Put that in your weedies in the morning.
[01:05:22]  This is pineapple.
[01:05:23]  You should eat this with cottage cheese every day.
[01:05:25]  Now, here's a Dick Nixon secret.
[01:05:27]  If you pour a little diet coke in the bourbon, they can't tell you're getting drunk at nine in the morning.
[01:05:33]  And when you're confused, just nod.
[01:05:35]  When you're throwing up in the toilet, say something disagreed with you and it's diarrhea.
[01:05:39]  The Secret Service agents have to let you puke down their sleeves.
[01:05:42]  That's what I've been doing.
[01:05:45]  This is the vodka room.
[01:05:47]  And this is the vodka room.
[01:05:49]  And this is the vodka room.
[01:05:50]  This drawer here is.
[01:05:51]  This is the vodka room.
[01:05:52]  This drawer here is for letters and things like stamps like that.
[01:05:55]  And this is the drawer you can puke in, but just bend over and pretend you're looking for something.
[01:05:59]  I'm going to be honest.
[01:06:00]  I've been shitting in the fireplace a lot.
[01:06:02]  It's hard to find the bathroom when you're turned in the oval.
[01:06:05]  Look, look, if you're worried, just lift this cushion up.
[01:06:08]  This chair is actually a toilet with wheels.
[01:06:11]  Sits behind the desk.
[01:06:16]  Trying to think what else.
[01:06:17]  These are laws.
[01:06:18]  You can wipe your ass with them.
[01:06:21]  By the way, this is all being recorded.
[01:06:23]  Everything is.
[01:06:24]  Wait, this chest here is actually a tape recorder.
[01:06:29]  Kissinger's sorrow over his boss stepping down was sopped somewhat by the fact that right around the same time, he'd succeeded in overthrowing an actual Democratically elected leader.
[01:06:39]  Oh, good.
[01:06:40]  Dr. Salvador Allende.
[01:06:42]  Now, fuck, this makes me mad.
[01:06:45]  Yeah.
[01:06:46]  We have, we're not going to talk about this in a lot of detail because we have gone into detail on the coup against Allende in both our episodes on the Dulles Brothers and on the School of the Americas.
[01:06:55]  It's just like not, this is the thing to like cut out of our Kissinger story because we've covered it a lot before.
[01:07:01]  But I will give an overview of Kissinger's involvement.
[01:07:03]  For the listeners who maybe aren't familiar, Robert.
[01:07:06]  Yeah, I know we are all on the same page, but you're Garris or whatever.
[01:07:12]  Salvador Allende was a socialist-y dude who was elected in 1970.
[01:07:16]  Like all kind of socialists the U.S. overthrows, he was not nearly as radical as they pretended he was, but he was like solidly left-wing.
[01:07:23]  The U.S. backed a military coup that overthrew him in 1973.
[01:07:27]  Allende committed suicide and was replaced by General Augusto Pinochet, who tortured and murdered tens of thousands of people over the next 17 years.
[01:07:35]  So I'm going to be brief here, and I'm going to read a summary of Kissinger's role in that.
[01:07:39]  Kerfuffle from the Transnational Institute.
[01:07:42]  Less than a week after Nixon received the disappointing news about the presidential vote, he decided to annul the Chilean vote.
[01:07:48]  A quote widely attributed to secretary of state Henry Kissinger explained Nixon's morality.
[01:07:53]  I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist due to the irresponsibility of its people.
[01:07:59]  The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves.
[01:08:03]  I mean, like you are, you need to be like, so far gone.
[01:08:08]  Yeah, be comfortable speaking in that way.
[01:08:12]  Yeah yeah you you, that's ghoulishly evil.
[01:08:16]  I mean, it's just like you could come up with a version of that.
[01:08:19]  That would also probably sound effective.
[01:08:21]  But to basically be like, look, the people have up voting they've they've, wrongly voted oopsie poopsie, let's.
[01:08:28]  Yeah, we can't we'll, we'll do it for them, we'll figure out.
[01:08:31]  I mean, we'll take care of this again.
[01:08:33]  United States policy, pretty much, you know.
[01:08:35]  Yeah, all the time, in perpetuity.
[01:08:38]  Yeah, and it's it's, it's good.
[01:08:40]  Um yeah, and and after the, the bloody coup that that Kissinger and Nixon endorsed, uh, Kissinger pushed to recognize Pinochet's coup government and offer it economic aid.
[01:08:52]  Uh, he pressured international lending organizations to lend money to the new Chilean government.
[01:08:56]  Yeah, he sucks.
[01:08:57]  This is a bad thing that he did.
[01:08:59]  Um, you can hear a lot more about it and honestly, Kissinger was involved, but like the Dollus Brothers were a much bigger part of this specific thing.
[01:09:06]  So check that out in our Dullest Brothers episode.
[01:09:08]  All this with Raquel Welch on his arm.
[01:09:14]  Jill St. John, I love the way you actually the woman he does marry, Nancy McGinnis, who is also a fairly prominent person, is a huge fan of the overthrowing of the Chilean government.
[01:09:26]  His wife is like more hardcore right-wing than he is.
[01:09:28]  Come to bed, tell me about how you ignored the will of the Chilean voters.
[01:09:36]  So I don't know much about the working relationship Henry had with Jerry Ford.
[01:09:40]  Honestly, like they didn't spend a lot of time together.
[01:09:42]  We're not going to delve super deep into it.
[01:09:44]  Um, there were like too much to talk about still um, there is one thing I want to note about his relationship with with Kiss, With Nixon.
[01:09:53]  Like for the first several years that he's working with Nixon, he's desperate to go to Camp David.
[01:09:58]  Anytime the president invites him he's excited to go.
[01:10:00]  But then, when the Watergate thing is going on and Nixon feels isolated and alone, Kissinger spends like the whole Watergate hearing time jetting around the Middle East and stuff doing diplomacy.
[01:10:10]  Nixon begs him like do you want to come hang out at Camp David with me?
[01:10:13]  And Henry's like, oh buddy, I'd love to, but you know, sounds so good, I just got so much worm.
[01:10:19]  I'm swamped over here with stuff.
[01:10:21]  You know, it's like he's such a worm.
[01:10:26]  It's amazing that there's a moment at this where you're like, oh man, Dick, he did you dirty.
[01:10:30]  That's not a friend to him.
[01:10:32]  A little bit of sympathy for Nick.
[01:10:35]  Do you want to come to summer camp, David, with me?

=== Camp David Desperation (04:28) ===

[01:10:37]  I can't.
[01:10:38]  I could really use a friend.
[01:10:40]  I broke my arm.
[01:10:41]  I can't get any merit badges or anything to summon my mom said.
[01:10:45]  So, oh, man, it's amazing.
[01:10:49]  So, yeah, there's so much to talk about.
[01:10:53]  I will tell you, I will note that one of the first things that Henry did as Secretary of State for President Ford was to deliberately enable another genocide, which put him just one genocide away from earning a free coffee at the Pentagon Starbucks.
[01:11:05]  Oh, my gosh.
[01:11:06]  So kind of, he's close.
[01:11:08]  He's close.
[01:11:09]  He's close.
[01:11:10]  We're going to talk about that.
[01:11:12]  But you know what we got to talk about right now?
[01:11:13]  Hmm.
[01:11:14]  Products and services that support this podcast.
[01:11:16]  Finally.
[01:11:17]  Hey, including Starbucks.
[01:11:20]  Commit five genocides and Starbucks will fund a sixth if it reduces the price of coffee beans.
[01:11:25]  Make sure it's a Venti.
[01:11:32]  There's two golden rules that any man should live by.
[01:11:36]  Rule one, never mess with a country girl.
[01:11:40]  If you play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.
[01:11:42]  And rule two, never mess with her friends either.
[01:11:46]  We always say, trust your girlfriends.
[01:11:50]  I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of The Girlfriends...
[01:11:54]  Oh my god, this is the same man.
[01:11:56]  A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist.
[01:12:00]  I felt like I got hit by a truck.
[01:12:02]  I thought, how could this happen to me?
[01:12:04]  The cops didn't seem to care.
[01:12:06]  So they take matters into their own hands.
[01:12:09]  I said, oh, hell no.
[01:12:11]  I vowed I will be his last target.
[01:12:13]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[01:12:18]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[01:12:19]  Trust me, babe.
[01:12:20]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:12:30]  I'm Lori Siegel, and on Mostly Human, I go beyond the headlines with the people building our future.
[01:12:36]  This week, an interview with one of the most influential figures in Silicon Valley, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.
[01:12:43]  I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to products we put out in the world.
[01:12:49]  From power to parenthood.
[01:12:51]  Kids, teenagers, I think they will need a lot of guardrails around AI.
[01:12:55]  This is such a powerful and such a new thing.
[01:12:57]  From addiction to acceleration.
[01:12:59]  The world we live in is a competitive world, and I don't think that's going to stop, even if you did a lot of redistribution.
[01:13:04]  You know, we have a deep desire to excel and be competitive and gain status and be useful to others.
[01:13:10]  And it's a multiplayer game.
[01:13:13]  What does the man who has extraordinary influence over our lives have to say about the weight of that responsibility?
[01:13:19]  Find out on Mostly Human.
[01:13:21]  My highest order bit is to not destroy the world of AI.
[01:13:24]  Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
[01:13:32]  Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back.
[01:13:38]  I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting.
[01:13:43]  Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.
[01:13:48]  Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name.
[01:13:58]  And this season, I've sat down with Alessia Cara, Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more.
[01:14:03]  Check out my new episode with Josh Grobin.
[01:14:06]  You related to the Phantom at that point.
[01:14:09]  Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
[01:14:11]  That's so funny.
[01:14:12]  Share each day with me each night, each morning.
[01:14:21]  Say you love me.
[01:14:24]  You know I.
[01:14:25]  So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to Playing Along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:14:32]  What's up, everyone?
[01:14:33]  I'm Ego Modem.
[01:14:35]  My next guest, you know, from Step Brothers, Anchorman, Saturday Night Live, and the Big Money Players Network.
[01:14:42]  It's Will Farrell.
[01:14:46]  My dad gave me the best advice ever.
[01:14:49]  I went and had lunch with him one day, and I was like, and dad, I think I want to really give this a shot.
[01:14:54]  I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings.
[01:14:56]  I'm working my way up through and I know it's a place they come look for up and coming talent.
[01:15:00]  He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet.

=== East Timor Genocide (12:19) ===

[01:15:05]  Yeah.
[01:15:06]  He goes, but there's so much luck involved.
[01:15:09]  And he's like, just give it a shot.
[01:15:10]  He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit.
[01:15:18]  If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.
[01:15:21]  It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat just hang in there.
[01:15:28]  Yeah, it would not be.
[01:15:30]  Right, it wouldn't be that.
[01:15:31]  There's a lot of luck.
[01:15:32]  Yeah.
[01:15:33]  Listen to Thanks Dad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:15:42]  Oh, we're back.
[01:15:44]  So in 1969, the U.S. conspired with the Indonesian dictator Suharto to encourage the illegal annexation of West Papu through what was called the Act of Free Choice.
[01:15:54]  This was a shameless propaganda exercise, which allowed the United States to pretend democracy.
[01:15:58]  Rah-rah rah, you get the idea.
[01:16:00]  Behind-the-scenes support by the U.S. at the UN allowed Suharto to solidify his control on West Papua.
[01:16:06]  This led to four decades of genocidal policies, which have killed huge numbers of the Papuan population.
[01:16:12]  Six years later, Suharto had another fun idea.
[01:16:15]  East Timor was nearby, and near the end of a 27-year-long process of being decolonized by Portugal.
[01:16:22]  Having just been ruled pretty brutally in the name of capital, you won't be surprised to hear that the East Timorese people were somewhat sympathetic towards socialism.
[01:16:30]  The leftist Friitland Freit Fretilan party began to gain ground as freedom grew near.
[01:16:36]  In 1975, it had a brief civil war with the much smaller right-wing pro-Indonesian party.
[01:16:43]  This freaked out Portugal, who pulled their last people out of the country during the fighting.
[01:16:47]  Seeing the territory abandoned, General Suharto felt he had an opportunity.
[01:16:52]  He and others in the Indonesian military began to complain to the Americans that East Timor might be used as a base for dastardly communists to inspire secessionist movements in Indonesia.
[01:17:02]  Over in yeah.
[01:17:04]  It's just like, you know, East Timor seems like it's going to be really bad.
[01:17:08]  Whoa, we got to kill them.
[01:17:10]  We got to get rid of them.
[01:17:11]  I don't like the sound of this.
[01:17:13]  Over in East Timor, Freitlin, the Socialist Party, recognized the fact that they were in danger.
[01:17:18]  They had their, oh, we're in danger moment.
[01:17:20]  Yeah.
[01:17:20]  And they declared their independence on November 28th, 1975, so they could ask for help from the United Nations.
[01:17:27]  Everyone ignored them.
[01:17:28]  Japan, a major investor in Indonesia, twiddled her thumbs.
[01:17:31]  Australia looked away.
[01:17:32]  This left the United States as the only power that could potentially stop Indonesia from invading Timor.
[01:17:38]  Do we do it?
[01:17:40]  Yeah, we did it.
[01:17:41]  Everything's good now.
[01:17:42]  They're doing great.
[01:17:43]  They're flying cars.
[01:17:46]  How many times do we have to be the heroes?
[01:17:50]  Another job well done for the United States.
[01:17:55]  On December 6th, 1975, on the eve of the planned invasion, Gerald Ford and Henry Kissinger flew to Jakarta to meet with Suharto.
[01:18:03]  The very next day, Indonesian land, air, and naval forces invaded.
[01:18:07]  The timing is predominant enough that people have debated ever since whether or not Kissinger and Ford gave Suharto the green light here too.
[01:18:15]  From a write-up in the nation, Kissinger, who does not find room to mention East Timor, even in the index of his three-volume memoir, has more than once stated that the invasion came to him as a surprise and that he barely knew of the existence of the Timorese question.
[01:18:28]  He was obviously lying, but the breathtaking extent of his mendacity has only just become fully apparent with the declassification of a secret State Department telegram.
[01:18:37]  The document, which has been made public by the National Security Archive at George Washington University, contains a verbatim record of the conversation among Suharto, Ford, and Kissinger.
[01:18:45]  We want your understanding if we deem it necessary to take rapid or drastic action, Suharto opened bluntly.
[01:18:51]  We will understand and will not press you on the issue, Ford responded.
[01:18:54]  We understand the problem you have and the intentions you have.
[01:18:57]  Kissinger was even more emphatic, but had an awareness of the possible spin problems back home.
[01:19:03]  It is important that whatever you do succeeds quickly, he instructed the despot.
[01:19:07]  We would be able to influence the reaction if whatever happens happens after we return.
[01:19:11]  If you have made plans, we will do our best to keep everyone quiet until the president returns home.
[01:19:16]  Micromanaging things for Suharto, he added, The president will be back on Monday at 2 p.m. Jakarta time.
[01:19:23]  We understand your problem and the need to move quickly, but I am only saying it would be better if it were done after we returned.
[01:19:28]  Worst case scenario, I'll just say I never said this, and nobody will ever have a transcript if you said anything.
[01:19:34]  I mean, to be scheduling it like a golf day.
[01:19:38]  Can you crack down on the independence and freedom of these people and engage in a genocidal war like once we're back?
[01:19:44]  There's a lot going on.
[01:19:46]  3:45 or like 4 on Monday would be great.
[01:19:48]  Tuesday people wait would be unbelievable.
[01:19:50]  Tuesday would really help it.
[01:19:52]  Like, that's a lot of time.
[01:19:56]  Yeah.
[01:19:56]  I thought it was a workout.
[01:19:57]  That's right.
[01:19:58]  Yeah.
[01:19:58]  There's a lot of U.S. fuckery in fucking Indonesia.
[01:20:02]  I'm sorry.
[01:20:02]  I'm not going to hear this, gentlemen.
[01:20:04]  Enough of that talk, please.
[01:20:06]  The greatest country on earth.
[01:20:07]  You do have that giant Indonesia and the United States shaking hands over a burning East Timor tattoo over your heart.
[01:20:13]  Well, I would hate for that.
[01:20:16]  That's speculation.
[01:20:18]  And please cut that out.
[01:20:20]  Sophie, can we make a note that that should not be included in the episode?
[01:20:23]  It seems a little incriminating.
[01:20:24]  So, Suharto's troops, when they invaded East Timor, which they did, were equipped with the finest U.S.-made weaponry.
[01:20:30]  Under the Foreign Assistance Act, such materiel could only be provided to nations who would use it exclusively for self-defense.
[01:20:36]  When this was brought up to Suharto, and when this was brought up to Kissinger, and he was asked whether or not selling arms to Suharto had violated the act, Kissinger responded, It depends on how we construe it, whether it is in self-defense or it is a foreign operation.
[01:20:50]  Back in DC on December 18th, in a meeting whose minutes are now declassified, Kissinger admitted that he knew that he and the United States were violating the statute from the nation.
[01:21:02]  An even more sinister note was struck later in the conversation when Kissinger asked Suharto if he expected a long guerrilla war.
[01:21:08]  The dictator replied that there will probably be a small guerrilla war while making no promise about its duration.
[01:21:13]  Bear in mind that Kissinger has already urged speech and dispatch, urged speed and dispatch upon Suharto.
[01:21:19]  Adam Malik, Indonesia's prime minister at the time, later conceded in public that between 50,000 and 80,000 Timorese civilians were killed in the first 18 months of the occupation.
[01:21:29]  These civilians were killed with American weapons, which Kissinger contrived to supply over congressional protests, and their murders were covered up by American diplomacy.
[01:21:36]  So, I mean, we did it again.
[01:21:39]  We did it again, guys.
[01:21:42]  It really is like, it's like a serial killer who just gets very comfortable with killing, gets kind of cocky about it, starts leaving clues, but in this case, there's no cops chasing anyone.
[01:21:56]  There's nobody who's really trying to solve the case.
[01:21:59]  It's like if the Unabomber left his name on every package.
[01:22:02]  Yeah.
[01:22:02]  And then Britain was like, this is okay.
[01:22:04]  A return address.
[01:22:06]  Yeah.
[01:22:08]  Ted Kaczynski, Shaq 9.
[01:22:12]  Roughly 300,000 East Timorese civilians, roughly half the population, were forced out of their homes and into camps during the fighting.
[01:22:19]  By 1980, the death toll was at least 100,000 and possibly as high as 230,000.
[01:22:25]  Thomas Meany, writing in The New Yorker, has tried to make sense of this all.
[01:22:29]  Kissinger's sign-off on the Indonesian President Suharto's genocidal campaign in East Timor was meant to signal that America would unquestioningly reward those who had decimated communists within their reach.
[01:22:40]  In retrospect, the notion that everything America did would be duly registered and responded to by its opponents and friends seems like an expression of geopolitical narcissism.
[01:22:49]  At the time, the 33-year-old senator Joe Biden accused Kissinger at a Senate hearing of trying to promulgate a global Monroe doctrine.
[01:22:57]  Kissinger is that guy where repeatedly terrible people will be like, well, you're in the right here, but only because you're talking about Henry Kissinger.
[01:23:06]  Yeah, right.
[01:23:07]  I mean, yeah, he's like, yeah, it's like.
[01:23:10]  In the next episode, we're going to have a moment where the CIA is a voice of reason.
[01:23:14]  To give you an idea of when next goes.
[01:23:16]  And how many people have to be the voice of reason?
[01:23:19]  I mean, it just is like, he's like cocky.
[01:23:23]  I mean, it's just, they just, no shit's given at this point to have no.
[01:23:28]  I mean, it's not like he's had a soul throughout all of this, but you would think that once you have a soul for such a long period of time, you would start to notice the absence of a soul and at least start to act like you had a soul.
[01:23:40]  Well, good news, Gareth.
[01:23:41]  Nothing like that ever happens.
[01:23:43]  Oh, fucking great.
[01:23:46]  Yeah, we're going to have fun in episode six.
[01:23:50]  But, you know, now it's time to just chill out, you know, have a drink of just a nice sip of the blood of, I don't know, East Timorese dissidents and go watch the Theranos documentary.
[01:24:05]  See Henry Kissinger get cooked by a fucking grip.
[01:24:09]  I mean, yeah, you need only like, I forget who said it, but that's true.
[01:24:14]  That's our hero.
[01:24:16]  She's our hero.
[01:24:17]  The psycho who was like, hey, yeah, you can give, we can do this with your blood at Walgreens because she got Henry Kissinger involved.
[01:24:25]  And I mean, just he's, he's not, it's not like he's not a genius.
[01:24:30]  There's just not a lot of genius it takes to just be awful and indiscriminate.
[01:24:35]  Yeah, he's just like the best weather networker of all time.
[01:24:39]  Yeah.
[01:24:40]  And here's the thing.
[01:24:42]  Episode six, we're going to talk about his political downfall because he does get his comeuppance, but it's from people who suck maybe even worse, at least as bad as he does.
[01:24:53]  And so there's no satisfaction in it.
[01:24:55]  Like, of course.
[01:24:56]  And he's also, it's also Hitler had gotten assassinated by Hitler II, who had then like expanded the people who are like, they're there because of him.
[01:25:06]  Like they, like, he had to walk so they could run.
[01:25:10]  Yes, exactly.
[01:25:11]  Yes, there's someone needs to paint a picture of like Henry Kissinger, like kind of on the bow of the Titanic, holding up Dick Cheney with his arms spread wide.
[01:25:20]  Oh, that feels nice.
[01:25:22]  That feels real nice, Henry.
[01:25:24]  You also, you love your form.
[01:25:26]  Let me paint you.
[01:25:27]  Kissinger walked so that Donald Rumsfeld could stagger.
[01:25:31]  Yes.
[01:25:34]  Oh.
[01:25:35]  But that's going to be part six.
[01:25:38]  Until then, Dave.
[01:25:40]  What?
[01:25:41]  Gareth, you got any pluggables to plug?
[01:25:43]  I want to drink like Nixon.
[01:25:45]  Yeah.
[01:25:46]  We can.
[01:25:49]  Look at what capitalism gets us.
[01:25:52]  Yeah, we will be invading the shores of Australia searching for their WMDs, which we believe are north, south, east, and west.
[01:25:59]  You can go to dolloppodcast.com, and I'll be also doing stand-up over there.
[01:26:04]  And you can go to GarethReynolds.com for those stand-up dates.
[01:26:07]  And we're also touring America this summer.
[01:26:10]  Sorry, we're touring the best country on earth this summer.
[01:26:14]  And you can go to dollarpodcast.com for all that information.
[01:26:17]  Now, I should note here, y'all, that you guys have an ongoing, an ongoing argument over whether or not Gare is an appropriate nickname for you, Gareth.
[01:26:26]  And I felt like maybe we could bring in a negotiator to help us deal with this question.
[01:26:32]  So I'd like to introduce to the call Dr. Henry Kissinger.
[01:26:36]  Oh, my God.
[01:26:40]  I'm sorry I said all those horrible things.
[01:26:42]  Gary the fan then.
[01:26:43]  I think Gary works great.
[01:26:44]  You look like a Gary a little bit.
[01:26:47]  Oh, he's got his nice shorts on.
[01:26:49]  He's got those nut huggers.
[01:26:51]  You can see the outline.
[01:26:53]  You can see the whole breadbasket.
[01:26:56]  Looks like a baby bird in the nest now, but it becomes a python when the war starts.
[01:27:02]  They should call me Dick, shouldn't it?
[01:27:03]  Dick Nixon.
[01:27:05]  Once the bombs hit the soil, I'll rip these babies.
[01:27:10]  I really hope people stopped listening at this.
[01:27:13]  I so desperately.
[01:27:14]  I stopped listening and I'm talking.
[01:27:19]  All right, everybody.
[01:27:20]  All right.
[01:27:20]  We'll see you on Thursday.
[01:27:24]  Hi, everybody.

=== After the Revolution (02:52) ===

[01:27:25]  Robert Evans here, and my novel After the Revolution is available for pre-order now from akpress.org.
[01:27:32]  Now, if you go to akpress.org, you can find After the Revolution, just google akpress.org after the revolution.
[01:27:38]  You'll find a list of participating indie bookstores selling my book.
[01:27:41]  And if you pre-order now from either these independent bookstores or from AK Press, you'll get a custom signed copy of the book, which I think is pretty cool.
[01:27:50]  You can also pre-order it in physical or in Kindle form from Amazon or pretty much wherever books are sold.
[01:27:56]  So please Google AK Press After the Revolution or find an indie bookstore in your area and pre-order it.
[01:28:03]  You'll get a signed copy and you'll make me very happy.
[01:28:06]  When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
[01:28:14]  I vowed I will be his last target.
[01:28:17]  He is not going to get away with this.
[01:28:19]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[01:28:21]  We always say that: trust your girlfriends.
[01:28:26]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[01:28:27]  Trust me, babe.
[01:28:28]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:28:38]  10-10 shots five, city hall building.
[01:28:41]  How could this ever happen in City Hall?
[01:28:43]  Somebody tell me that, Jeffrey Hood.
[01:28:45]  A shocking public murder.
[01:28:46]  This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics.
[01:28:52]  They screamed, get down, get down.
[01:28:54]  Those are shots.
[01:28:56]  A tragedy that's now forgotten.
[01:28:59]  And a mystery that may or may not have been political.
[01:29:01]  That may have been about sex.
[01:29:03]  Listen to Rorschach, Murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app.
[01:29:07]  Apple Podcasts are wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:29:13]  I'm Laurie Siegel, and this is Mostly Human, a tech podcast through a human lens.
[01:29:17]  This week, an interview with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.
[01:29:21]  I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products we put out in the world.
[01:29:28]  An in-depth conversation with a man who's shaping our future.
[01:29:31]  My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI.
[01:29:34]  Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
[01:29:43]  Hey, it's Nora Jones, and my podcast, Playing Along, is back with more of my favorite musicians.
[01:29:48]  Check out my newest episode with Josh Grobin.
[01:29:51]  You related to the Phantom at that point.
[01:29:54]  Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
[01:29:56]  That's so funny.
[01:29:58]  Share each day with me each night, each morning.
[01:30:05]  Listen to Nora Jones' playing along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:30:13]  This is an iHeart podcast.
[01:30:16]  Guaranteed human.