Behind the Bastards - Bonus: A Conversation About Tiger King and Rural America
Aired: 2020-04-13
Duration: 01:37:35


=== Convincing Tigers and Con Artists (14:44) ===

[00:00:00]  This is an iHeart podcast.
[00:00:02]  Guaranteed human.
[00:00:04]  When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
[00:00:13]  I vowed I will be his last target.
[00:00:15]  He is not going to get away with this.
[00:00:17]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[00:00:19]  We always say that.
[00:00:21]  Trust your girlfriends.
[00:00:24]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[00:00:25]  Trust me, babe.
[00:00:26]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:00:31]  I got you.
[00:00:32]  I got you.
[00:00:36]  I'm Lori Siegel, and this is Mostly Human, a tech podcast through a human lens.
[00:00:41]  This week, an interview with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.
[00:00:44]  I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products we put out in the world.
[00:00:51]  An in-depth conversation with a man who's shaping our future.
[00:00:55]  My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI.
[00:00:58]  Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
[00:01:07]  Hey, it's Nora Jones, and my podcast, Playing Along, is back with more of my favorite musicians.
[00:01:12]  Check out my newest episode with Josh Groban.
[00:01:15]  You related to the Phantom at that point.
[00:01:18]  Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
[00:01:20]  That's so funny.
[00:01:21]  Share with me each night, each morning.
[00:01:29]  Listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:01:37]  What's up, everyone?
[00:01:38]  I'm Ego Modem.
[00:01:39]  My next guest, it's Will Farrell.
[00:01:43]  My dad gave me the best advice ever.
[00:01:46]  He goes, just give it a shot.
[00:01:48]  But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit.
[00:01:55]  If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.
[00:01:57]  It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat just hang in there.
[00:02:04]  Yeah, it would not be.
[00:02:06]  Right, it wouldn't be that.
[00:02:07]  There's a lot of life.
[00:02:09]  Listen to Thanks Dad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:02:18]  Best pod.
[00:02:20]  Robert, I'm Behind the Bastards.
[00:02:22]  This is a Robert Evans about people who aren't nice.
[00:02:26]  Jesus Christ, that didn't work out well.
[00:02:28]  I liked it.
[00:02:29]  Oh, thank you.
[00:02:30]  Okay, well, then that's the intro every single day from now on.
[00:02:34]  Chris, just copy and paste that for every future episode.
[00:02:38]  I do not like it that much.
[00:02:40]  Well, we're here today for a special episode of Behind the Bastards.
[00:02:45]  It's very different from our normal episodes.
[00:02:47]  I don't have anything prepared or written, but after watching Tiger King, Billy and I got together via Sophia via the text messaging app that these kids are all using today's texting.
[00:03:00]  It's what the kids, they love it.
[00:03:03]  And we started talking about how this show made us feel.
[00:03:06]  And we decided that we should probably do that for like an hour or so.
[00:03:10]  And I think even more than talking about Tiger King, we're going to wind up talking about the South and the rural United States because the overwhelming impression I have as a result of Tiger King is that most of my fellow Americans, because the majority of Americans live in urban areas and they live outside of the South, most of my fellow Americans felt like this was some sort of bizarre fairy tale as opposed to like, I've known every fucking one of these people.
[00:03:37]  Every single one.
[00:03:40]  Every single one of them.
[00:03:41]  Yeah.
[00:03:42]  So Billy, how are you doing today?
[00:03:44]  I'm good.
[00:03:45]  I'm in.
[00:03:45]  Hi, Billy.
[00:03:46]  Hey, Sophie.
[00:03:48]  It's good to see you guys even just like this.
[00:03:51]  Do you guys like my attire today?
[00:03:53]  I dressed it on theme.
[00:03:56]  Sophie's wearing leopard print.
[00:03:59]  So she's she's ready to go.
[00:04:01]  Not matching leopard print.
[00:04:02]  Anderson's wearing some sort of jungle print.
[00:04:05]  We look awful.
[00:04:06]  It's great.
[00:04:07]  Yeah.
[00:04:08]  You do look like you're like a like a super target customer somewhere.
[00:04:13]  Yes.
[00:04:14]  Thank you.
[00:04:14]  You look like you're going to explain to me why the master says that we can't eat in the dining room and instead I have to eat in a barn off of a floor for the first nine months that I'm cleaning up the elephant slop.
[00:04:27]  Okay.
[00:04:28]  Yeah.
[00:04:28]  Which is a thing that happens kind of to people who join Doc Antleys.
[00:04:33]  Anyway, Billy, you want to tell me about your experience with Tiger King?
[00:04:38]  Well, I mean, someone's, I had heard of it.
[00:04:42]  I had heard of Joe Exotic before because friends of mine's podcast, the last podcast guys, like Henry and Ben and those guys, they had they came, he came up on their radar because they have the weirdo, wonderful weirdo radar.
[00:04:57]  So, but I forgot about it.
[00:04:59]  And then as I'm watching it, I was like, I know who this dude is.
[00:05:03]  Yeah, he, yeah, yeah.
[00:05:05]  And then it was like, I think my wife was like, some of this is unbelievable.
[00:05:10]  And I was like, well, I think they're leaving out the meth part.
[00:05:15]  Yes.
[00:05:16]  They allude to it, but not until like one of the last episodes.
[00:05:19]  They're like, oh, and by the way, everybody was really, really fucked up.
[00:05:23]  Yeah.
[00:05:24]  That was the thing where, like, there was some of it where it was like, all of this makes perfect sense with people I grew up around or with, and then people I've encountered traveling my whole life.
[00:05:37]  If you leave a city, you're just like, yeah, they, it's, or even in the city.
[00:05:41]  I mean, there's a, there's a little person in this neighborhood I used to work in in New York City who had a great Dane who was taller than him.
[00:05:50]  And yeah.
[00:05:51]  And every, I remember everyone was like, isn't that crazy?
[00:05:54]  And I was like, nah, he would, he would sneak right in in my hometown.
[00:05:58]  That guy is like perfect.
[00:06:00]  Yeah.
[00:06:01]  That guy who walks his goat on Hollywood Boulevard every day.
[00:06:05]  Yeah, that doesn't even like I've stopped at a gas station in Louisiana that had a tiger.
[00:06:09]  Like it was a gas station tiger in Louisiana.
[00:06:12]  I don't think it's there anymore.
[00:06:14]  I think though that they've replaced it with email, they've replaced it with some sort of weird animal.
[00:06:18]  Like they, and there's alligators too.
[00:06:19]  Like there's, I've lost track of the number of animals in gas stations specifically throughout the South that should not be on display in those places.
[00:06:28]  It's not an uncommon thing to encounter.
[00:06:31]  And I guess some of why this didn't seem weird to me.
[00:06:34]  I grew up three hours away from Joe Exotic.
[00:06:36]  Yeah.
[00:06:37]  Like Winnie Woods, about three hours away from Idabel 2, something like that.
[00:06:41]  And it's, as a little kid, some of my earliest memories are like driving to and from different chunks of Oklahoma and you would see these, and there was more than one different type of, we have a bunch of tigers on some land ads that you would see by the highway.
[00:06:54]  And all of them are the same business, which is a dangerous person has acquired 300 acres of land and an indiscriminate number of large cats.
[00:07:05]  And that's the business.
[00:07:06]  That's the business.
[00:07:07]  That is the business.
[00:07:09]  It was just always a part of my life.
[00:07:12]  I remember noticing driving through Texas.
[00:07:16]  This was like probably 10 years ago.
[00:07:18]  And you just, you're used to seeing, I grew up, my grandpa had cattle.
[00:07:21]  So there's a certain height of fence you're used to seeing.
[00:07:26]  And then every now and then you'd see one that was like, why is that motherfucker 20 feet?
[00:07:29]  Oh, because they've got some stuff you shouldn't have in Texas.
[00:07:33]  They have a legal animal.
[00:07:35]  Well, they're not illegal animals because Texas.
[00:07:39]  I said should have in Texas.
[00:07:42]  Very fair.
[00:07:44]  Yeah.
[00:07:44]  So we should like the statistics, like one thing you'll hear a lot that I have repeated myself that may or may not be true is the idea that there are more big cats in private ownership in Texas than there are in the wild.
[00:07:56]  And this may or may not be true.
[00:07:58]  It might not be true for specific Texas, but it is for the United States.
[00:08:02]  I saw that.
[00:08:03]  It's probably true for the United States.
[00:08:05]  5,000 is a reasonable estimate, and most of those are in private hands.
[00:08:10]  Well, you'll hear various estimates.
[00:08:12]  5,000 is the kind of credible credible minimum estimate, I would say.
[00:08:20]  I don't know.
[00:08:20]  It's hard to say because a lot of people will say, no, there's not nearly as many.
[00:08:25]  Even 5,000 is too high.
[00:08:27]  But all of their data is based on official government numbers for who's allowed to own these animals.
[00:08:34]  And the people that want these animals aren't, they're going to lie on a census.
[00:08:38]  You know what I mean?
[00:08:38]  Yeah, they're never going to tell you.
[00:08:40]  Yeah.
[00:08:40]  No.
[00:08:40]  Yeah.
[00:08:42]  In fucking Los Angeles, California, I got a couple of my tattoos in a tattoo shop that was a former shark tank for a drug dealer.
[00:08:51]  Like it was a warehouse that he had converted to his mansion.
[00:08:55]  And the room that later, when he got busted, became a tattoo shop was where his shark lived.
[00:09:00]  Shit like this.
[00:09:01]  That shark wasn't on a registry.
[00:09:03]  No.
[00:09:05]  No, he was not.
[00:09:06]  It's estimated.
[00:09:09]  It's estimated that he's in some cops' house, right?
[00:09:11]  Guys, listen to the stats.
[00:09:12]  There's estimated that there are 10,000 to 20,000 big cats in the U.S.
[00:09:18]  But those are problematic numbers too, because those are all from the Humane Society, right?
[00:09:22]  Or from some animal welfare society, right?
[00:09:24]  No, this is held in private ownership, and it's from.
[00:09:28]  Yeah, but where's the number from?
[00:09:30]  I've seen this number on several different websites.
[00:09:32]  I'm not sure where they're getting it.
[00:09:34]  It tends to track back.
[00:09:36]  From my research, it always tracks back to the Humane Society or someone similar, which isn't necessarily a bad source, but also they make their money based off of donations from convincing people that a lot of tigers and stuff are being harmed.
[00:09:49]  So it's like there's no, we have no way of knowing.
[00:09:52]  Like the actual answer is that there are thousands of tigers in America and no one will ever know how many there are or who has them.
[00:09:58]  No, but they're just all over the place.
[00:10:00]  They're making them fuck.
[00:10:01]  Yeah.
[00:10:02]  So.
[00:10:03]  Yeah.
[00:10:03]  And so we were talking about this a little earlier, and I think I'm of the opinion that in terms of from a legal standpoint, I think Carol Baskin is probably in the right.
[00:10:15]  I think she dotted her I's and crossed her T's.
[00:10:17]  I believe every complaint she has about the humane issues with Joe Exotics, tiger.
[00:10:25]  Yes, but that's like saying everything like legally everything Dick Cheney did was cool too.
[00:10:32]  Yeah.
[00:10:32]  She's a Dick Cheney type person.
[00:10:35]  Yeah, I think she and Doc Antley and Joe Exotic are all murderers.
[00:10:41]  And I don't know who they've killed.
[00:10:43]  Like I'm not even saying I think that she killed her husband.
[00:10:47]  I have no idea.
[00:10:50]  One of the things you learn spending a lot of time in rural America is rich men in their 70s disappear for a lot of reasons.
[00:10:56]  Yeah, they do.
[00:10:57]  Sometimes they just leave.
[00:10:59]  Sometimes they just leave.
[00:11:00]  Yeah, he might just be in Mexico.
[00:11:02]  We've been thinking about that for 40 years.
[00:11:04]  Like, one day I'm just going to leave.
[00:11:06]  One of my favorite things that I've read since watching this is what's on her big catrescue.org about refuting Netflix Tiger King and their use of a meat grinder graphic.
[00:11:20]  Like that was a choice you made.
[00:11:23]  And it's just like a 10-minute video of her husband being like, Kim Kardashian, you're welcome here anytime.
[00:11:32]  I know you tweeted, like, so do we think Carol's a murderer?
[00:11:36]  And like, I don't know, if anybody had spent a minute with Carol, they would know.
[00:11:41]  But like, Kim, you can come.
[00:11:43]  Not all of you can come, but Kim, you can come.
[00:11:46]  It's rude.
[00:11:48]  It's, yeah, Carol, Carol is.
[00:11:50]  So there's, I think what I wanted to really get into, even more than specific discussion about Tiger King, is the kind of people that these folks are.
[00:11:58]  Because all three of these main characters in the documentary are part of a classification of human being that exists only in America.
[00:12:09]  And I would broadly describe them all as rich off-grid criminals.
[00:12:15]  Now, every town that is sufficiently in the middle of nowhere has a rich off-grid person, if not more than one.
[00:12:23]  And they fall into two groups.
[00:12:24]  They're all criminals.
[00:12:25]  Every single one of them has committed some sort of serious crimes.
[00:12:28]  There are the non-violent criminals.
[00:12:30]  So these are people who embezzled money, who committed tax fraud, who stole a bunch of money, who were in the drug business.
[00:12:36]  And they're awesome.
[00:12:37]  If you can hang out with those people, do because they have cool shit.
[00:12:40]  Technically, what I did was steal from the church.
[00:12:42]  That is technically what I did.
[00:12:44]  Yes.
[00:12:44]  Fuck it.
[00:12:44]  I did embed people $100 million from a church.
[00:12:49]  Fuck it.
[00:12:50]  Yeah.
[00:12:51]  And they always have weird animals.
[00:12:53]  And they're often very nice people.
[00:12:55]  And they have cool houses.
[00:12:56]  And you can shoot on their land.
[00:12:57]  And a lot of them rule.
[00:12:59]  They are fun until they are not.
[00:13:02]  That's who these people are.
[00:13:04]  That's a lot.
[00:13:05]  Like the non-violent ones, and it can be hard to tell.
[00:13:08]  The non-violent ones I've had good relationships with.
[00:13:11]  But the other half of the rich off-grid criminals are violent criminals.
[00:13:17]  Yes, they are.
[00:13:17]  And they are usually the outwardly nicest.
[00:13:21]  Yes.
[00:13:23]  Like, Doc Antley, I think, is the kind of person that I've run into the most in my travels through rural America.
[00:13:30]  He seems very familiar to me.
[00:13:32]  Keith Ranieri guy?
[00:13:35]  He's got some Keith Ranieri energy.
[00:13:37]  I met a couple of Doc Antleys out in Slab City.
[00:13:41]  It is a type of dude you meet out in the middle of nowhere who knows a bunch of cool shit.
[00:13:45]  They always have a bunch of talents.
[00:13:47]  They're usually real good at building shit.
[00:13:49]  They have something that they have created that draws people to them.
[00:13:55]  And they are usually very friendly.
[00:13:58]  And the longer you know them, the more controlling you realize they are.
[00:14:02]  That is the type of person you run into.
[00:14:05]  They understand parts of human nature in a way most people don't, but they're using their power for usually sex.
[00:14:16]  Almost always sex.
[00:14:18]  Yes.
[00:14:18]  In an interview he gave on a radio station after this came out, he said that all those women, you know, were relatives, daughters, his children's wives.
[00:14:31]  You know, he's like, yeah, y'all are all related, sir.
[00:14:36]  I got no judgments for like a polyamorous guy who wants to live on a compound because I'm a polyamorous guy who wants to live on a compound.

=== Rehabilitating Abused Big Cats (11:33) ===

[00:14:44]  And yes, if I could have a tiger, I would have a tiger.
[00:14:49]  We know that.
[00:14:50]  Yeah, that was very clear from the beginning, sir.
[00:14:55]  But yeah, he  ⁇ I got a story I want to tell about.
[00:14:59]  But you don't want to sell their cubs.
[00:15:01]  You don't want to sell their cubs.
[00:15:02]  And Doc Antley, like, has been accused of some horrific stuff.
[00:15:05]  He has more than 35 USDA violations for mistreating animals as a result of his farm.
[00:15:11]  The Humane Society tracked one of his tiger cubs that he claims are very ethically sort of sold to different reputable people that wound up on just basically a tiger farm in the middle of South Carolina.
[00:15:26]  And it was sent over with ringworm at three weeks old, which is too young and was like immediately put into a petting zoo.
[00:15:33]  Yeah, he does a bunch of fucked up shit.
[00:15:35]  He's also apparently a really good tiger trainer because his tigers and shit, like they've been in a bunch of movies.
[00:15:40]  Like he knows his shit.
[00:15:41]  He's not like bad at what he does.
[00:15:43]  He's a bad person who has created a tiger breeding mill.
[00:15:48]  Yeah, he's like a he's like one of those country music singers in the 50s or 60s.
[00:15:55]  Yeah.
[00:15:55]  Where they have this gift.
[00:15:58]  Yes.
[00:15:59]  And they use their gift for, like you said, mostly usually like bad money stuff or bad sex stuff.
[00:16:06]  That's what because they realize like I have this thing that attracts people and I can get them to do what I want and then move on to the next.
[00:16:14]  Yeah, there's certain everyone has talents, but most of us don't have a talent that is so specific and desirable that we don't have to ever learn anything else.
[00:16:25]  Yeah.
[00:16:25]  And if you are good at making tigers like you and keeping them alive and training them and stuff, because of number one, the fact that there's money in that, and number two, the fact that people lose their fucking minds around cats, which again, I lose my fucking mind around cats.
[00:16:40]  I can't think straight when I see, I've seen, I have been to the places where they have little baby tigers and it short circuits your fucking brain.
[00:16:47]  I understand how these women get like stuck in this for years.
[00:16:50]  Because like, yeah, if I got to, I would put up with a lot of shit to get to play with baby tigers every day.
[00:16:55]  Yeah.
[00:16:55]  That's drugs.
[00:16:56]  It's drugs.
[00:16:59]  They're junkies.
[00:17:00]  That's what he's doing.
[00:17:00]  He's creating like these tiger junkies.
[00:17:03]  I did it.
[00:17:04]  Yeah, I went when I did this documentary I hosted a couple years ago.
[00:17:07]  We went to this cat lady in Perunth, Nevada, and she wasn't, she didn't, she wasn't trying to make money off this at all.
[00:17:16]  Like it wasn't.
[00:17:17]  She was a divorced lady.
[00:17:20]  Now her ex-husband was still alive.
[00:17:23]  Good to know.
[00:17:24]  It was, yeah, it was interesting.
[00:17:26]  I was like, oh, that's probably why she made that such a point.
[00:17:30]  Like when I watched Tiger King, I was like, I remember thinking like, that's why she was so clear about her husband still being alive.
[00:17:36]  Cause we were all like, why does she say that like that?
[00:17:39]  Right.
[00:17:40]  We didn't know who Carol Baskins was then.
[00:17:42]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:17:43]  But she did.
[00:17:44]  I guarantee you she did.
[00:17:46]  And her whole thing was like, she rescued them.
[00:17:49]  Yeah, I do have some friends who live out in the middle of nowhere who have a lot of land and are looking at like figuring out how they can get involved in a program to like rehab big cats that have been like abused or confiscated from drug dealers.
[00:18:04]  There's ways to do that.
[00:18:05]  I have a friend who does giant lizards.
[00:18:08]  You know, like there are programs, if you're a non-grifter, non-monster, and you're like, I want to make my whole life be about having a giant cat that I take care of.
[00:18:19]  That's a dream you can achieve in this country.
[00:18:22]  And I love that about America.
[00:18:25]  It is great.
[00:18:26]  Yeah, it's great.
[00:18:28]  But it also, like, we don't talk enough about the mind-altering power of cats.
[00:18:32]  I had some friends who kind of accidentally acquired an F1 hybrid civet, which is like a wild, it was like, I don't know, 20, 30 pound half-wild cat.
[00:18:45]  Enough of a house cat that it kind of, it looked like an enormous, very muscular house cat.
[00:18:50]  Yeah.
[00:18:51]  The long tail.
[00:18:52]  Is that what the one?
[00:18:53]  Yeah.
[00:18:54]  And very smart and very sweet, very personable, very trainable, but also destroyed everything.
[00:19:02]  It could not be stopped.
[00:19:05]  And they put up with it for so long because they just love that fucking cat so much.
[00:19:10]  It was, you know, eventually they found a farm for it.
[00:19:13]  But it was this thing of where I could see it like, you guys know this is a bad idea.
[00:19:17]  He's destroying your house.
[00:19:18]  You can't stop him from pooping everywhere.
[00:19:20]  Like he's murdering every animal in the neighborhood.
[00:19:24]  I think you're, it sounds like, it's like, you sound like you're describing someone that was with Charlie Sheen as also.
[00:19:32]  Yeah.
[00:19:32]  Where it's like he's fun and like a lot of times like very engaging, but then every now and he'll destroy everything you know.
[00:19:38]  Just because.
[00:19:39]  Yeah.
[00:19:39]  I've known some people who know Andy Dick and the stories are not dissimilar, but big cats are much better behaved.
[00:19:48]  I've been around Andy Dick on several occasions.
[00:19:51]  So every story I've ever heard, I'm like, yes.
[00:19:55]  And then I would much rather be around a big cat than Andy Dick.
[00:20:00]  So I wanted to get into a little bit of like one of the posts that I saw from a friend of mine on Twitter after they finished Tiger King was, I just finished Tiger King and I've realized that I don't understand the South at all.
[00:20:14]  And I love that people are having this reaction because there's some important stuff in Tiger King because a lot of what people think is weird in Tiger King is not weird.
[00:20:22]  Like Joe's relationship with his guns and tannerite is so fucking common.
[00:20:29]  The putting faces on it is a little weird, but not even that weird.
[00:20:33]  Such a good point, Robert.
[00:20:34]  Such a good point.
[00:20:35]  Like I would go on Twitter and like this, some of the stuff people were like, I couldn't believe this.
[00:20:42]  Like I was like, oh, that didn't even register in my brain as an odd thing.
[00:20:46]  This guy just always wears a gun.
[00:20:48]  Yeah.
[00:20:48]  Yeah.
[00:20:49]  And you know what?
[00:20:50]  You see him use it for a very practical purpose at one point.
[00:20:53]  He needs to have a gun if you're walking around in tiger cages.
[00:20:57]  Yes.
[00:20:59]  Or where if the straight kid that you're left up to marry's mom shows up, you got to shoot at her feet sometime.
[00:21:06]  Sure, sure, sure.
[00:21:07]  Yeah, there's tons of videos of Hunter Thompson out in his farm in Colorado getting into friendly gunfights with his neighbors.
[00:21:13]  It's not weird, okay?
[00:21:15]  I've seen it.
[00:21:16]  I'm from the South.
[00:21:17]  We used to shoot cannons at each other on the 4th of July.
[00:21:21]  Yeah.
[00:21:21]  That's pretty cool.
[00:21:22]  We used to fire into Lake Texoma until we had to run away from the Coast Guard.
[00:21:26]  You know, you'd blow up chunks of the country every year.
[00:21:29]  It was just a, it's not weird, okay?
[00:21:32]  The state park superintendent where I live's son set off a bomb in the state park.
[00:21:42]  And all of us were like, oh, yeah, yeah, that checks out.
[00:21:44]  Spencer would do that.
[00:21:46]  Yeah.
[00:21:46]  And it's, I've also seen people talk about like how weird it is that like law enforcement wasn't involved in more chunks of this, that like these people are just kind of left to their own devices.
[00:21:56]  And it's again, this like, I think those people have spent most of their time in the city.
[00:22:01]  Yes.
[00:22:02]  I can remember one time out on my partner's property in the middle of fucking nowhere in Texas.
[00:22:09]  We had, as a result of a younger relative of hers making a poor decision with fireworks, a brush fire that immediately got out of control and got to like the acre and a half, two acres.
[00:22:20]  It was going to like hit the vehicle parking lot where we had all of our cars because there were a lot of folks there and like burn down this house.
[00:22:26]  It was like a bad wildfire.
[00:22:29]  And like as we're scrambling to put this fucking thing out, she's on the phone with the fire department and they tell her finally like, we can't figure out where you are and hang up.
[00:22:38]  Oh my God.
[00:22:41]  That's a lot of people's experience with like, yeah, that's what the law is out here.
[00:22:46]  Yes.
[00:22:46]  Like if there's a murder, someone will come eventually.
[00:22:51]  And y'all are telling us you don't know who did that?
[00:22:54]  You're telling us.
[00:22:56]  You're trying to tell us the police that all seven of y'all that live out there don't know who killed one of you.
[00:23:02]  Okay.
[00:23:03]  Okay.
[00:23:05]  Well, I don't want to be here after dark, so I guess that's the end of this investigation.
[00:23:11]  Well, I think one of my one of the parts I laugh the hardest at, and I know I shouldn't, but when they showed the footage from Zanesville, Ohio, the press conference of that small town sheriff, he was like, he's like, there's 12 lines, there's four bears, and one goddamn bamboo.
[00:23:30]  The way he said it was just like, you can't say the F word, but he said the F.
[00:23:34]  It was just like, and a baboon is loose.
[00:23:37]  And I was like, I just, I was like cry laughing in the bed.
[00:23:39]  And my wife was like, what's what's so funny about that?
[00:23:42]  I was like, I don't know.
[00:23:43]  I'm just picturing that's exactly what my town would do.
[00:23:47]  Like, I'm just picturing people I know growing up being in that position being like, you think you want to shoot a lion your whole life and then you're looking at one in the face and you're like, this is the scariest, worst thing that's ever happened to me.
[00:24:00]  Yeah.
[00:24:02]  I've, I've spent some long nights actually out in a farm as a dear friend of mine is spraying down like fucking crops and like waiting for a mountain lion with a rifle because we were, you know, We were out in fucking rural central California and it was a drought season and there were, like the fucking the big cat that was in the area, because there's usually, you know, in an area like that there's like a big cat that everyone knows about.
[00:24:29]  You see signs of it.
[00:24:31]  You don't see the cat usually because they're fucking good at not being seen, but there will be, you know, in in this case, like some of the land she was on um, this was like my partner at the time, like some of the land she was working on had had little horses um, and they were just like torn apart.
[00:24:44]  You would just see pieces of them in the morning and it was like okay, this is clearly a problem, because normally the mountain lion doesn't come this close to human beings.
[00:24:53]  It was close to the house and so, and people in town started talking about like yeah, it might kill somebody, don't be out alone in the field at night.
[00:25:00]  Yeah, i've spent nights of my life like with a rifle, being like I hope I don't meet any cats because I i've got an Ak-47, but also I know i'm not faster or better at hunting than that cat.
[00:25:13]  Yeah, and by the time I realize I need to use this Ak-47.
[00:25:17]  That cat has got me yeah, and I don't trust the stopping power of a weapon that will put down human beings very easily.
[00:25:24]  To put down a cat that quickly no, and another one of the scary things, speaking of terrifying rich people, i've known in the middle of nowhere.
[00:25:31]  I've known some folk who did, who hunted animals like that with crossbows and would get very close and stalk cats on their own with a fucking bow, and those are people you don't want to fuck with.
[00:25:44]  No no, because they're better at hunting than a big cat.
[00:25:51]  Yes, and they're getting something out of it.
[00:25:53]  A cat doesn't.
[00:25:54]  Yeah, and they're, they're.
[00:25:56]  I don't want to.
[00:25:57]  I will not say which state this person is.
[00:25:59]  I will not say their name.
[00:26:00]  Um, I will say those were not legal cat hunts.
[00:26:04]  No no, of course not.
[00:26:08]  Robert, do you know?
[00:26:09]  Do you know what else is?
[00:26:10]  Is is not a legal cat hunt.
[00:26:12]  You know what won't illegally hunt mountain lions no, what?

=== Illegal Cat Hunts Exposed (04:52) ===

[00:26:18]  Well, unless it's the COKE COKE Industries.
[00:26:20]  Charles Coke cannot get erect without bathing his penis in the blood of an infant mountain lion.
[00:26:26]  Um, and that's that's.
[00:26:28]  That's, that's on record.
[00:26:29]  He uh he, he talks about that openly.
[00:26:31]  So that's this is.
[00:26:32]  Consider this legally binding Coke lawyers.
[00:26:35]  I mean, there's a reason he chose.
[00:26:36]  Which of them?
[00:26:37]  So absolutely uh, it is the masturbate with cat blood state.
[00:26:42]  That's what they call Kansas.
[00:26:44]  Here's some ads.
[00:26:52]  There's two golden rules that any man should live by.
[00:26:56]  Rule one, never mess with a country girl.
[00:27:00]  You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.
[00:27:02]  And rule two, never mess with her friends either.
[00:27:06]  We always say, trust your girlfriends.
[00:27:10]  I'm Anna Sinfield and in this new season of the girlfriends oh my god, this is the same man.
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[00:27:20]  I felt like I got hit by a truck.
[00:27:22]  I thought, how could this happen to me?
[00:27:24]  The cops didn't seem to care, so they take matters into their own hands.
[00:27:29]  I said, oh hell no, I vowed I will be his last target.
[00:27:33]  He's gonna get what he deserves.
[00:27:38]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[00:27:39]  Trust me, babe.
[00:27:40]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:27:50]  Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back.
[00:27:56]  I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting.
[00:28:00]  Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.
[00:28:06]  Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name.
[00:28:16]  And this season, I've sat down with Alessia Cara, Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more.
[00:28:21]  Check out my new episode with Josh Grobin.
[00:28:24]  He related to the Phantom at that point.
[00:28:27]  Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
[00:28:29]  That's so funny.
[00:28:30]  Share each day with me each night, each morning.
[00:28:38]  Say you love me.
[00:28:41]  You know I.
[00:28:43]  So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to Playing Along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:28:50]  What's up, everyone?
[00:28:51]  I'm Ago Modem.
[00:28:52]  My next guest, you know, from Step Brothers, Anchorman, Saturday Night Live, and the Big Money Players Network, it's Will Farrell.
[00:29:03]  My dad gave me the best advice ever.
[00:29:06]  I went and had lunch with him one day, and I was like, and dad, I think I want to really give this a shot.
[00:29:11]  I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings.
[00:29:14]  I'm working my way up through it.
[00:29:15]  I know it's a place they come look for up and coming talent.
[00:29:18]  He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet.
[00:29:23]  Yeah.
[00:29:23]  He goes, but there's so much luck involved.
[00:29:26]  And he's like, just give it a shot.
[00:29:28]  He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit.
[00:29:36]  If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.
[00:29:39]  It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat.
[00:29:45]  Just hang in there.
[00:29:46]  Yeah, it would not be.
[00:29:48]  Right, it wouldn't be that.
[00:29:49]  There's a lot of luck.
[00:29:51]  Listen to Thanks Dad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:29:59]  In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckard found himself at the center of a paternity scandal.
[00:30:05]  The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story.
[00:30:11]  This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth.
[00:30:14]  You doctored this particular test twice, Miss Owens, correct?
[00:30:18]  I doctored the test once.
[00:30:19]  It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case.
[00:30:22]  I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for.
[00:30:26]  Sunlight's the greatest disinfectant.
[00:30:29]  They would uncover a disturbing pattern.
[00:30:31]  Two more men who'd been through the same thing.
[00:30:33]  Greg Gillespie and Michael Marancine.
[00:30:36]  My mind was blown.
[00:30:37]  I'm Stephanie Young.
[00:30:39]  This is Love Trap.
[00:30:41]  Laura, Scottsdale Police.
[00:30:43]  As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.
[00:30:47]  Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news out of Maricopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges.
[00:30:54]  This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona.
[00:30:58]  Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:31:08]  We're back.

=== Rural Violence with Animals (15:42) ===

[00:31:10]  And I kind of wanted to move to telling some stories, Billy, because I think we both have stories of kooky folks we've met out in nowhere who I kind of, my goal with this is like, I'm glad that people are enjoying Tiger King.
[00:31:23]  It is a fun show.
[00:31:24]  I enjoyed it myself.
[00:31:25]  I would like people to understand how many Tiger Kings there are out there in the world, even the ones that don't have tigers.
[00:31:32]  Yeah, I don't think if you didn't grow up in the The south or not even the south.
[00:31:38]  If you didn't grow up in a rural area, I don't think you truly even then.
[00:31:44]  Okay, here's the thing.
[00:31:46]  Even then, if you didn't live outside of town, you might not understand these people too.
[00:31:56]  I think that has something to like because even where I'm from, because of where I lived out in the quote-unquote country part of my rural county, I was still like a country.
[00:32:07]  There were like we people that lived in town, we considered them city kids.
[00:32:12]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:32:13]  And that, I think that is a part of it.
[00:32:14]  Like, there's, there's rural and then there's like fucking nowhere, you know?
[00:32:19]  Yes.
[00:32:19]  Yeah.
[00:32:20]  There's rural and then there's there are not services.
[00:32:23]  Yeah.
[00:32:24]  Yeah.
[00:32:24]  There's rural and then there's where your buddy's dad, who's a game warden, tells you not to go.
[00:32:30]  Yeah.
[00:32:31]  Yeah.
[00:32:31]  There's if you cross onto the wrong line, they just shoot people because they got pot fields out there.
[00:32:36]  Yeah.
[00:32:38]  Yes.
[00:32:39]  Yeah.
[00:32:42]  So I was out nowhere adjacent in one of those, I was in a rural town that was kind of bordered by fucking nowhere.
[00:32:51]  This would have been five, six years ago with my partner at the time.
[00:32:54]  And it was around Thanksgiving and we were out on the town walking around and she had an Israeli Air Force shirt on.
[00:33:02]  It was not a political statement.
[00:33:04]  I don't think either of us were, yeah, it was just she liked the logo on it.
[00:33:08]  It's a shirt she'd had for years.
[00:33:10]  So she's wearing the shirt and a guy picks it out and he's like, hey, you know, it's good to see somebody else who likes Israel.
[00:33:17]  You know, I was in the IDF and we were like, oh, cool.
[00:33:19]  We talk for like 10 minutes.
[00:33:21]  And he's he invites us over to his house for dinner for the night.
[00:33:26]  And this is a guy, late 40s, early 50s, something like that.
[00:33:31]  Does not sound Israeli.
[00:33:33]  Sounds very American.
[00:33:34]  But, you know, there's a sizable number of American born, you know, Jewish folks who went to Israel, served in the IDF, came back.
[00:33:40]  That's the thing that happened.
[00:33:41]  So no alarm bells yet.
[00:33:42]  Just like this nice guy who invites us out to his farm.
[00:33:46]  So we drive out about an hour and a half from the town, maybe less, but we drive out quite a ways from the town to get to this guy's house.
[00:33:54]  And this is the middle of the fucking mountains.
[00:33:57]  And we are like, his house is at the foot of one mountain that's maybe five, six, seven thousand feet.
[00:34:03]  And then there's a 14,000-foot peak, like kind of a couple of miles back.
[00:34:07]  So he is, he is in some fucking rough country.
[00:34:10]  And he's got this gigantic, beautiful stone ranch mansion that's like my, it's, it's still to this day, like my, from the outside, my dream home, like made out of like, like clearly 100-something years old, made out of like beautiful like stonework.
[00:34:25]  And then there's this like massive complex of pastures and pens and like a ton of horses and cows online.
[00:34:32]  It's just this amazing ranch setup.
[00:34:33]  And so we're like, oh shit, we're going to meet, like, I love meeting cool people who own compounds in the middle of the woods because you get to do fun shit on them.
[00:34:40]  So we think this is that.
[00:34:41]  So we meet this guy.
[00:34:43]  We head into his house.
[00:34:44]  And the first thing we notice is that there's no furniture in his house except for in one corner of one room.
[00:34:49]  The second is that one of the empty living rooms is filled with bags of marijuana, which is not that weird for us, but it also makes it clear like, oh, okay.
[00:34:57]  This is like big bags.
[00:34:59]  A normal residence.
[00:35:00]  He's probably 60 to 100 pounds, you know, that was just kind of sitting out.
[00:35:04]  So not like the biggest operation in the world, but he's clearly running a pot farm that's not tiny, you know?
[00:35:09]  Yeah.
[00:35:10]  And it's also clear that like, oh, you don't really, like, you live here, but you don't really live here.
[00:35:16]  This is a bit of a trap house, you know?
[00:35:18]  Yes.
[00:35:19]  Like, but the other thing that we notice is that the one corner of the big living room that has furniture has like a couple of couches and then probably 500 or more different kind of knives, knives and swords.
[00:35:33]  And not, and this is the thing.
[00:35:36]  You know me.
[00:35:37]  I got, I love, I love, I love knives.
[00:35:39]  I have a ton of knives around me.
[00:35:40]  There's knives hanging up on my walls.
[00:35:42]  I'm always surrounded by knives.
[00:35:44]  I'm not going to judge a man for owning knives.
[00:35:46]  These were not the kind of knives that a person who is that a reasonable person owns.
[00:35:51]  You remember Bud K catalogs?
[00:35:55]  Yeah, vaguely.
[00:35:56]  It's like all of the knives that look like they were from like a low-budget horror movie where they're like claw, like wolverine claws that you can stick on your fist or like these like curved daggers made out of, and they're all made out of like shitty steel and they all break and they all look like something that like a bad superhero from the 1990s would have like welded to his body, like toy knives.
[00:36:18]  And he has like 500 of these all stacked in a corner of the room around his couch.
[00:36:23]  And so that's weird.
[00:36:25]  But he's very nice and he brings us in and he introduces us to his child bride, which is when things get problematic.
[00:36:33]  So again, this guy is in his mid-40s to early 50s, maybe.
[00:36:37]  His wife is not a day over 18.
[00:36:40]  And they have clearly been dating for a while.
[00:36:43]  And it becomes clear through conversations that she is not as kind of amazing.
[00:36:48]  Yeah, this is my wife I'm raising.
[00:36:51]  And she cooks us a lovely dinner.
[00:36:53]  And we have a lot of people.
[00:36:55]  But sure as hell she does, yes.
[00:36:58]  And doesn't talk much.
[00:37:00]  And he's very polite and tells us about his mom who was some sort of great hero in the Israeli army.
[00:37:06]  And it was all lies.
[00:37:07]  It was very clear that it was all like, no, your mom didn't kill 60 guys in this one fight during the, like, it just didn't happen.
[00:37:14]  Like, you're just lying about a person who isn't real.
[00:37:18]  And he repeatedly, the thing that got to be really unsettling is he would repeatedly, every time, like, you know, I try to be polite to human beings.
[00:37:26]  So every time, like, his wife would like bring in food or like would refill the drink, I would thank her.
[00:37:30]  I would thank him when he was like bringing in.
[00:37:32]  And he'd be like, every time either of us thanked him, he would be like, you know, not enough people show respect anymore.
[00:37:39]  That's what I like is seeing respect.
[00:37:41]  People need to, like, that's what makes someone a good person or not, is showing respect.
[00:37:46]  And it was such a constant thing he brought up to where I was like, oh, something horrible happens in this household when you two are the only ones here and she doesn't say thank you.
[00:37:55]  Like, and he, he had big Doc Antleyan energy, and I never got what his full grift was, but he invited us to live with him by the end of the night, which is not the first time that's happened to me.
[00:38:06]  It's actually happened quite a lot because, again, and this was a thing, my partner at the time had this habit of being met by weird people in the middle of nowhere, and they would invite us into their lives, and we would say, yeah, sure.
[00:38:18]  Yeah.
[00:38:19]  And then things would get horribly uncomfortable.
[00:38:22]  And that time we were just like, as soon as we got in the car, like, no, this guy lives too far out in the middle of nowhere.
[00:38:27]  He could make us like, we just need to lose this guy's number and never come back here.
[00:38:35]  So I don't know what was going on there.
[00:38:37]  You never, you often don't learn the whole story, right?
[00:38:40]  You never know the whole thing.
[00:38:41]  If you're smart, you never learn the whole story.
[00:38:44]  That's something I learned.
[00:38:45]  I mean, just doing touring your whole adult life, you do, especially in your 20s, because you're looking for adventure more than you're just going through life.
[00:38:59]  Especially if you're a stand-up, because you're like, I'm going to get, I need some stories.
[00:39:04]  So early on, I would say yes to people after, you know, I would go places you're not supposed to go.
[00:39:12]  And it only happened a couple of times.
[00:39:13]  But there was always weird animals.
[00:39:17]  Yeah.
[00:39:19]  Always.
[00:39:20]  Very often.
[00:39:21]  Yeah.
[00:39:21]  Reptiles are pretty common.
[00:39:23]  That normally didn't tell me off, but like, there would always be like the time I remember where I was like, oh, I'm never doing this again was these people.
[00:39:32]  I talked about pot and they're like, hey, do you want to smoke afterwards?
[00:39:36]  And I was like, sure.
[00:39:38]  So I got in the car and went with them.
[00:39:40]  And then there weren't, it was like there was a snake and then they had weird rodents, but as pets.
[00:39:50]  Weird.
[00:39:52]  Like ferret-type rodents that weren't, you know what I mean?
[00:39:57]  Like where I was like, I don't know what those are.
[00:39:59]  Something, it's like it was very clear that they went to some effort to acquire animals people don't normally have access to.
[00:40:06]  Yes.
[00:40:07]  Yeah.
[00:40:09]  And then by smoke, they pulled out heroin.
[00:40:12]  And I was like, oh, yeah, baby.
[00:40:15]  Okay, I can't.
[00:40:19]  I can't.
[00:40:19]  This is very polite.
[00:40:21]  And I was like, I don't, that's not what I meant.
[00:40:23]  I thought it was pretty clear on stage in front of 300 people that I just smoked pot.
[00:40:28]  And they were like, we thought you were speaking in code because you called it dope.
[00:40:31]  And I was like, maybe one.
[00:40:35]  It was just like, but then, like, that wasn't even the weirdest part.
[00:40:38]  It was those weird rodents.
[00:40:39]  I kept thinking that was the key to me.
[00:40:41]  Yeah.
[00:40:41]  That was weird.
[00:40:42]  Like, I might have sat there and watched them smoke heroin, but the animals where I was like, I don't understand what they had.
[00:40:50]  This has to do with that.
[00:40:51]  And I don't like that.
[00:40:52]  Yeah.
[00:40:54]  This is uncomfortable to me.
[00:40:56]  Yeah.
[00:40:57]  My favorite weird animal stories is my great-great uncle.
[00:41:04]  I remember going, this was like I was five or six.
[00:41:06]  I remember this so clearly.
[00:41:09]  He had caught a raccoon.
[00:41:10]  Like he had a bunch of coon dogs.
[00:41:14]  So he did that.
[00:41:16]  I thought the dogs were cool, like a bunch of beagles and a couple, actually, like coon hounds.
[00:41:20]  And then they're cool.
[00:41:22]  And then he had a trapped one in a cage.
[00:41:26]  And I remember me and my dad walking up to look at it.
[00:41:28]  And I went to pet it.
[00:41:29]  And my uncle slapped my hand.
[00:41:31]  He's like, he doesn't like being pet.
[00:41:32]  He's mean.
[00:41:33]  And I remember saying, then, why do you have him?
[00:41:39]  Why do you have him as he had?
[00:41:41]  And I remember the look on my great-great uncle's face.
[00:41:44]  Like, that had never occurred to him.
[00:41:47]  Yeah, he's shocked.
[00:41:48]  Like, is there an option besides having this angry animal in my home?
[00:41:53]  He's like, I caught one.
[00:41:54]  I didn't shoot it.
[00:41:55]  I caught it.
[00:41:55]  So that was being nice.
[00:41:56]  And I was like, that's it.
[00:41:58]  What?
[00:41:58]  I was never just being five being like, let that fucker go.
[00:42:00]  He doesn't like that.
[00:42:03]  Growing up, my aunt was dating a fellow who had a huge number, and this was in suburban Texas, had a shocking number of exotic reptiles.
[00:42:13]  And he had a shark in his suburban house, like a nurse shark.
[00:42:17]  And he also had a massive, very profoundly ill-tempered iguana.
[00:42:22]  Now, I love reptiles.
[00:42:23]  I'm a big reptile fan.
[00:42:25]  And as a little kid, I was even more into them.
[00:42:28]  And I desperately wanted this animal to be my friend.
[00:42:31]  And he had to sit me down and explain to me, like, when I got this animal, it was already an adult.
[00:42:36]  It is not hand-trained.
[00:42:37]  And it will kill you if it gets out and you get close to it.
[00:42:40]  That tail can break a grown man's thigh bone.
[00:42:43]  He would smash you into bits.
[00:42:47]  And then it got out like three days later when we were watching his house for him.
[00:42:51]  And his parents had to come over.
[00:42:52]  And there was like all of the adults in my life were basically like wielding broomsticks to try to knock this animal into like a box that they could lock it into and then throw the box in the cage.
[00:43:03]  Is this oh wow?
[00:43:07]  Yeah.
[00:43:08]  Why do you have this thing?
[00:43:09]  As an adult, I wonder, why would you continue to own an animal that hates you that much?
[00:43:15]  Hate you.
[00:43:16]  I get profoundly hates you.
[00:43:21]  I get having an animal that's indifferent to your existence because fish are fun, but hates you.
[00:43:27]  Yeah.
[00:43:29]  I don't know.
[00:43:31]  I was messing with that.
[00:43:32]  I remember messing with the liger.
[00:43:34]  This guy had a, when we went to the cat lady, her husband brought out this liger cub, and I oh no.
[00:43:41]  We thought he was kidding because I didn't know they were really real because of Napoleon Dynamite.
[00:43:47]  That's what I right, right?
[00:43:48]  You know what I mean?
[00:43:49]  Yeah.
[00:43:50]  So, like, literally, when he's like, it's a liger, and me and the sound guy were like, this is fucking asshole.
[00:43:55]  Um, and then as they're shooting B-roll, I went and looked it up and I was like, dude, they're real, they are real.
[00:44:01]  Um, so then I start messing with it, and it's about the size of like a big Labrador retriever.
[00:44:10]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:44:11]  Which is a cool size for a cat because, like, that's a fun dog to mess with, too.
[00:44:16]  Like, you can kind of waller with it.
[00:44:18]  And I was like messing with it like I would a dog, like with its mouth and all that.
[00:44:24]  And then the guy goes, Stop that.
[00:44:26]  I was just like, What, what?
[00:44:28]  Is it going to kill?
[00:44:29]  He's like, No, no, no.
[00:44:30]  He's like, When he gets older, he won't know that that's playing and he'll kill me playing like that.
[00:44:38]  And I was like, Oh, well, I'm leaving in like an hour, so I'm just going to keep doing this.
[00:44:43]  Animals like that are kind of like the weird people you meet out in the woods in that you have to have very strong and sturdy boundaries in order to keep them successfully without getting killed by them.
[00:44:55]  Yes.
[00:44:56]  But there's, I don't know, it's a healthy respect, I think.
[00:45:00]  Yeah.
[00:45:01]  Like, we had it, uh, this girl lived in our back house for a while, and she had a hairless cat that she rescued.
[00:45:08]  Nope.
[00:45:08]  And that was mean, mean cat.
[00:45:12]  Yeah.
[00:45:12]  Attack everybody.
[00:45:13]  Well, one day I walked in there when we were first getting used to it, and it was just me and the cat.
[00:45:18]  And the cat came at me, and I was raised on a farm.
[00:45:21]  So my foot did this instinct thing and kicked the shit out of the cat across the track.
[00:45:27]  Sure.
[00:45:27]  Because we're establishing boundaries.
[00:45:30]  And then my wife and our tenant a couple weeks later is like, why doesn't the cat attack you?
[00:45:36]  And I was like, oh, we have an understanding because I attack back.
[00:45:41]  And they would never the attack.
[00:45:43]  They were just afraid of the cat for two years.
[00:45:45]  And I was like, you guys, it's an animal.
[00:45:49]  There's a certain level.
[00:45:51]  And I think you have to grow up around animal.
[00:45:54]  Like, I grew up on a cow farm.
[00:45:55]  That was a lot of my earliest memories.
[00:45:57]  Like, it wasn't, we owned the farm.
[00:45:58]  They weren't our cows.
[00:45:59]  Somebody else basically licensed the farm.
[00:46:01]  But like, it was my backyard was like 150 acres full of, you know, 100-something head of cattle and these two bulls that were pinned up separately that bulls were.
[00:46:10]  And like the only, the only like warning I got from my parents was like, don't get close to the bulls because they'll kill you.
[00:46:15]  But it was also just like, go do like, you have a dog.
[00:46:18]  Like the dog is expected to keep you alive.
[00:46:20]  Go out and wander around in the field.
[00:46:23]  And there's a level of, I was maybe six the first time I saw like the severed head and spinal column of a of a dead calf.
[00:46:33]  And it was because some sort some sort of animal was murdering calves in our yard.
[00:46:37]  And then my dog found it in the morning and dragged it out to show us and was like, look, guys, look what I got.
[00:46:42]  This is so happy.
[00:46:43]  It's free food back there.
[00:46:46]  This is such a good day.
[00:46:48]  Why do you guys look so sad?
[00:46:50]  This is great.
[00:46:51]  This is the best team thing ever.

=== Keeping the Wolf in Yard (03:45) ===

[00:46:53]  Yeah.
[00:46:55]  It was just laying there.
[00:46:57]  This, to your comment about just sort of like responding to an animal attacking, was like, yeah, you fucking kick it.
[00:47:02]  You know, like you kick it.
[00:47:04]  There's a level of brutality is the wrong word because brutality implies that it's pointless.
[00:47:09]  But there's a level of acceptance of physicality that is sometimes violent with animals that comes with growing up in the country.
[00:47:18]  Yes.
[00:47:19]  There was a thing like again on my like my partner, former partner's land out in the middle of nowhere.
[00:47:27]  Like they had a farm, and every now and then they would shoot a coyote on it.
[00:47:32]  And in order to keep the coyote away from the things you don't, the other coyotes away, you would hang the dead coyote up as a warning to the others because they're smart enough.
[00:47:39]  They know what like that means.
[00:47:41]  Like they see the corpse of a coyote hanging above a bar and they're like, oh, yeah, don't fucking go near there.
[00:47:46]  Those people will kill you.
[00:47:48]  It's just like a thing that you do that I think it's communication.
[00:47:56]  It's nature's communication is more aggressive than a lot of city dwelling people understand.
[00:48:06]  Yeah.
[00:48:06]  I see one of the things that frustrates me and actually makes me laugh.
[00:48:11]  It used to frustrate me.
[00:48:13]  Now it just makes me laugh.
[00:48:16]  It still frustrates me.
[00:48:17]  Is in LA you see, because vanity is such a problem here and aesthetic is what people are going for.
[00:48:25]  They like the look of a certain dog.
[00:48:28]  Yeah.
[00:48:29]  And they'll buy a dog that's not like its breed is like a good example is like my cousin-in-law, he had a beagle and he was like, the thing is so loud and it just tears up my house.
[00:48:42]  Oh, and they have horrible health problems with their ears.
[00:48:46]  Yeah.
[00:48:46]  And I was like, yeah, because you shouldn't have it in Culver City, California.
[00:48:50]  No.
[00:48:50]  That dog needs to be just chasing whatever.
[00:48:54]  And it's loud because it needs me to hear it.
[00:48:57]  So I go shoot the thing it's chasing.
[00:49:00]  Yeah.
[00:49:01]  It's like people, I don't know.
[00:49:04]  I don't want to go on like a rant about Huskies, but it's Hollywood's a weird place for a dog like that to exist.
[00:49:10]  And you see them.
[00:49:13]  But it's also like, yeah, there's two kinds of people who will tell you that their dog is a wolf.
[00:49:20]  It's people in like fucking Portland, Oregon, who want to seem cool and just have a perfectly normal Husky dog.
[00:49:28]  And then it's people out in the middle of nowhere who were telling you, don't go into that fenced in yard.
[00:49:33]  That's where we keep the fucking wolf.
[00:49:35]  And that's a wolf.
[00:49:36]  Yeah, that's a wolf.
[00:49:38]  You can't have him inside.
[00:49:39]  He just destroys things.
[00:49:40]  He will eat his way.
[00:49:42]  He will get bored and eat his way through the wall.
[00:49:46]  Let me show you what he did to the last wall when we let him inside before.
[00:49:51]  We tried to domesticate him, but then we realized evolution hadn't domesticated him yet.
[00:49:56]  So we keep him outside now.
[00:49:58]  Turns out he's just a 180-pound monster that we keep in the yard.
[00:50:03]  Yeah, he, and what we've, and if we're being real honest, he allows us to keep him.
[00:50:08]  That's what it is.
[00:50:10]  That fence won't hold him.
[00:50:13]  If he continues to not eat the children, we'll keep feeding them.
[00:50:17]  We're good.
[00:50:17]  We're good.
[00:50:22]  I think that's the whole thing with the Tiger King, though.
[00:50:25]  I don't think city people understand the relationship that you have to have with animals in rural areas.

=== Carrying Guns in Alaska (02:27) ===

[00:50:38]  They're more part of your life.
[00:50:40]  Like, when I go to Alaska, I know I had to learn what animals, like, you see a moose and they look goofy and silly.
[00:50:50]  They're huge, but the way they move is just like, but they walk like harder people than humans do in Alaska.
[00:50:59]  So it's like that kind of stuff where it's like someone got, someone walked out of the Anchorage Public Library while I was up there one time and a moose kicked his head off.
[00:51:09]  Not completely, but like enough to make him dead.
[00:51:13]  And that is why basically everywhere in Alaska, you're allowed to carry a gigantic handgun around if you want.
[00:51:20]  And you can be a little drunk.
[00:51:22]  That's the rule.
[00:51:23]  Sure.
[00:51:24]  Yes.
[00:51:25]  I don't see how being drunk should stop anyone from carrying a gun, Billy.
[00:51:28]  That's your right as an American.
[00:51:30]  I just like a lot of places where you can't be drunk and with a gun, but in Alaska, you can be.
[00:51:37]  And when you go up there, you're like, dad, that makes sense.
[00:51:39]  You should be a little drunk.
[00:51:41]  It's interesting on a little of a rant, which places, because in Texas, right, if you have a concealed handgun license in the state of Texas, any amount of alcohol, you could potentially get arrested.
[00:51:50]  It's kind of up to the officer's discretion, even if you're under the legal limit.
[00:51:54]  If you have a concealed handgun license and are carrying, they can, at their discretion, arrest you because Texas has a good rule.
[00:52:02]  It's not a terrible rule necessary, especially Texas has one of the highest rates of alcohol-related violent crimes in the United States.
[00:52:10]  So like there's a specific thing they're dealing with.
[00:52:13]  Yeah.
[00:52:15]  I have a friend who was driving down fucking the fucking high five in DFW, and a bullet just went through the windshield of his car right in front of his face as he was driving.
[00:52:25]  Like, who knows?
[00:52:26]  I'm sure alcohol was involved.
[00:52:28]  Whereas in Oregon, you can be as drunk as you want while carrying a concealed handgun.
[00:52:33]  And as far as I know, it's never caused a problem.
[00:52:35]  And I choose not to look into that any further, Billy.
[00:52:38]  No.
[00:52:39]  You need people, you need lumberjacks.
[00:52:41]  You need lumberjacks.
[00:52:42]  You have a lumberjack that's not drunk with a gun.
[00:52:44]  Yeah, sure.
[00:52:45]  Do your best.
[00:52:46]  Drug testing servers.
[00:52:48]  There's not going to be a restaurant anymore.
[00:52:51]  Yeah.
[00:52:51]  Yeah.
[00:52:51]  If you, if you require chefs to be sober, there will be no food.
[00:52:56]  Nope.
[00:52:56]  Yeah.
[00:52:57]  It just won't happen.
[00:52:59]  Yeah.
[00:53:00]  So, Billy, we're going to roll out to ads here.
[00:53:03]  And I don't have a good transition.
[00:53:04]  But when we come back.

=== Dangerous Rural Weirdos Abroad (05:43) ===

[00:53:05]  That was smooth.
[00:53:06]  That's one of the things that I'm going to do.
[00:53:08]  I want to talk a little bit about what happens when this specific species of rural weirdo goes elsewhere in the world.
[00:53:18]  Because I have a story or two about that.
[00:53:21]  Okay.
[00:53:21]  Yeah.
[00:53:22]  Yeah.
[00:53:22]  I want to talk about an expat I knew.
[00:53:25]  The rough story.
[00:53:28]  The title of the story I'll give you is The Pedophile Who Saved My Life.
[00:53:33]  So we'll talk about that when we come back from ads.
[00:53:43]  There's two golden rules that any man should live by.
[00:53:47]  Rule one, never mess with a country girl.
[00:53:51]  You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.
[00:53:53]  And rule two, never mess with her friends either.
[00:53:57]  We always say, trust your girlfriends.
[00:54:01]  I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of The Girlfriends.
[00:54:05]  Oh my God, this is the same man.
[00:54:07]  A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist.
[00:54:11]  I felt like I got hit by a truck.
[00:54:13]  I thought, how could this happen to me?
[00:54:15]  The cops didn't seem to care.
[00:54:17]  So they take matters into their own hands.
[00:54:20]  I said, oh, hell no.
[00:54:22]  I vowed I will be his last target.
[00:54:24]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[00:54:29]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[00:54:30]  Trust me, babe.
[00:54:31]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:54:41]  Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back.
[00:54:47]  I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting.
[00:54:51]  Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.
[00:54:57]  Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name.
[00:55:06]  And this season, I've sat down with Alessia Cara, Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more.
[00:55:12]  Check out my new episode with Josh Grobin.
[00:55:15]  You related to the Phantom at that point.
[00:55:18]  Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
[00:55:20]  That's so funny.
[00:55:21]  Merry stay with me each night, each morning.
[00:55:30]  Say you love me, you know.
[00:55:34]  So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to Playing Along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:55:41]  What's up, everyone?
[00:55:42]  I'm Ego Modem.
[00:55:43]  My next guest, you know, from Step Brothers, Anchorman, Saturday Night Live, and the Big Money Players Network.
[00:55:51]  It's Will Farrell.
[00:55:54]  My dad gave me the best advice ever.
[00:55:58]  I went and had lunch with him one day, and I was like, and dad, I think I want to really give this a shot.
[00:56:02]  I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings.
[00:56:05]  I'm working my way up through, and I know it's a place that come look for up and coming talent.
[00:56:09]  He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet.
[00:56:14]  Yeah.
[00:56:14]  He goes, but there's so much luck involved.
[00:56:17]  And he's like, just give it a shot.
[00:56:19]  He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit.
[00:56:27]  If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.
[00:56:30]  It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat just hang in there.
[00:56:37]  Yeah, it would not be.
[00:56:39]  Right, it wouldn't be that.
[00:56:40]  There's a lot of luck.
[00:56:41]  Yeah.
[00:56:42]  Listen to Thanks Dad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:56:50]  In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckard found himself at the center of a paternity scandal.
[00:56:56]  The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story.
[00:57:02]  This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth.
[00:57:05]  You doctored this particular test twice, Miss Owens, correct?
[00:57:09]  I doctored the test once.
[00:57:10]  It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case.
[00:57:13]  I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for.
[00:57:17]  Sunlight's the greatest disinfectant.
[00:57:20]  They would uncover a disturbing pattern.
[00:57:22]  Two more men who'd been through the same thing.
[00:57:24]  Greg Gillespie and Michael Marancine.
[00:57:27]  My mind was blown.
[00:57:28]  I'm Stephanie Young.
[00:57:30]  This is Love Trap.
[00:57:32]  Laura, Scottsdale Police.
[00:57:34]  As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.
[00:57:38]  Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Americopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges.
[00:57:45]  This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona.
[00:57:50]  Listen to Love Trapped Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:57:59]  Okay, we're back.
[00:58:02]  What if the pedophile who saved your life is just Jared Vogel from Subway because you just lost a lot of weight.
[00:58:09]  He was a little bit like if Bhagavan Auntley was a pedophile, which he might in fact be.
[00:58:18]  But if he was.
[00:58:19]  That name doesn't help.
[00:58:21]  There was a weird Hindu mystic connection to this guy.
[00:58:24]  Billy, take my money for that joke.
[00:58:28]  So we're talking about like the weirdos, like because the kind of people who are the focus of Tiger King and the kind of people that I think I certainly find really charming about rural America, like is part of what draws me out to the middle of nowhere is meeting these weirdos who are too weird.
[00:58:44]  They couldn't live in a city.
[00:58:46]  They just wouldn't, it wouldn't work.

=== Pedophiles and Mystic Connections (03:19) ===

[00:58:48]  Right.
[00:58:48]  The most normal guy in the entire docuseries was that Mario guy that was sentenced to 100 years behind bars.
[00:58:57]  Yeah.
[00:58:58]  Yeah.
[00:58:58]  The nice guy.
[00:58:59]  The guy in South Florida that had the compound and he wouldn't let people in.
[00:59:03]  Oh, the guy that Scarface was based on?
[00:59:06]  The Scarface guy, yeah.
[00:59:08]  Yeah, he seemed like he was the most normal guy in the entire thing.
[00:59:12]  And he was the guy that was sentenced to prison for a hundred years and then got out after 12.
[00:59:18]  My friend Brooke Sweland, a very funny comedian, said that about he was like, He was like, Yeah, the guy that based Scarface, they based Scarface on, he's not even interesting enough to be in this documentary.
[00:59:28]  Exactly.
[00:59:29]  And I was like, That is true because he's pretty smart.
[00:59:34]  Yeah, he's smart.
[00:59:35]  He clearly, like, the murders and stuff that he was related in were, you know, business-related as sort of like a practical, pragmatic thing.
[00:59:42]  And I think all of the other people who, again, I am explicitly alleging here have committed murder.
[00:59:48]  Um, I think they were more passionate killers, you know.
[00:59:52]  Well, they got in the way of something they wanted, it wasn't a business problem, yeah.
[00:59:56]  Yeah, yes, yes, like you, if you were to hang out on Mario's land with him, you'd be perfectly safe, right?
[01:00:03]  Unless you like tried to do violence to him, and I'm sure you would have a great time because he seems like a night, he seems like a pretty cool dude, in spite of the fact that I'm sure there's mountains of blood on his hands.
[01:00:12]  But sometimes you meet cool dudes who have killed a lot of people, but I don't think that shook him, yeah, like you said.
[01:00:19]  I think he's a business person, so he's like, Hey, there's a good UFC fight on, I've got it, I'm gonna use a projector.
[01:00:26]  The lions are gonna watch, it's gonna be a good time.
[01:00:29]  You're like, I bet he's got good pot, I bet he's got great pot.
[01:00:32]  He reminds me of some folks I've hung out with in like rural Bosnia, where it's like you about 15 years ago, you did some things that I wouldn't believe if you told me.
[01:00:46]  But we're having a good time now, and you have so many weird puppies.
[01:00:50]  Yes, really respected his wife's uh monkey clothes collection as somebody who dresses their animal and clothes against their will.
[01:00:59]  Yeah, yeah, that's it's the same type of animals don't have a right to not be dressed up.
[01:01:04]  I believe that strongly, yeah, that is mean.
[01:01:07]  I, but I like you like a treat, yeah, it is the type of like that Mario guys that you're exactly right.
[01:01:12]  He has the same energy as like a former like I worked for military intelligence, and that's why I married this Russian lady, and I and I help her raise these lions.
[01:01:23]  We're just like, My life was very exciting, now I'm retired, and this is kind of boring and nice to me.
[01:01:30]  Yeah, this is boring and nice, and I need whatever I do during the day to have like a chance of killing me, but I don't want it to require that much effort.
[01:01:39]  Yes, yes, I need to know why it's gonna kill me every day and not change.
[01:01:45]  Yes, yeah, I've known variants of that guy whose dangerous thing was they were self-taught electricians who had like retired to the land and had they had projects, and every one of their projects was like, Well, one of these days, you're gonna slip up like and this will catch up to you.
[01:02:02]  And they're fun writing negative stuff about the BLM for no reason.
[01:02:06]  Oh, they're very angry at the BLM.

=== Driving Through Boring Guatemala (14:43) ===

[01:02:08]  Yes, where I had to-I was like, I don't even know.
[01:02:10]  Is that some terrorists?
[01:02:12]  Oh, no, they're just okay.
[01:02:13]  I got what it is.
[01:02:13]  Yeah, okay.
[01:02:14]  As a general rule, of the folks we've talked about today, probably less than a third of them have legal driver's licenses, but all of them drive.
[01:02:23]  Yeah.
[01:02:25]  Um, so the pedophile who saved my life.
[01:02:28]  So, yeah, back to that.
[01:02:30]  We've got these, they're all these weird people that we've talked about who live out in the middle of the country and they're because they're too weird for cities.
[01:02:36]  And then there's another classification of people, and most of the ones I've met are, in fact, southerners, but they're too weird to live in the middle of nowhere.
[01:02:45]  They do something that gets them exiled from the United States, and they wind up as expats.
[01:02:51]  And they're always it's so.
[01:02:54]  I'll just tell you about this guy.
[01:02:56]  So, I'm in Guatemala, um, and we're I'm hiking.
[01:02:58]  There's this big fucking volcano, the tallest peak in Central America that I hike up with a friend of mine, and we have a little, a couple of friends of mine, and we have a little standoff with some bandits, and it was a great, great memory.
[01:03:09]  And so we come down this mountain and we get on a bus to head back to the place we're staying, which is like five hours away from the mountain in rural Guatemala.
[01:03:18]  And the place we're staying is Lago Atitlan is this beautiful place that has a decent amount of tourism, you know, relatively built-up cities, even though it's kind of out of off, like a little in the middle of nowhere.
[01:03:29]  But the road there, you're just in the fucking jungle.
[01:03:32]  So like a couple of weeks earlier when we'd been on one of these drives, we'd been, we'd like charted a bus and had been driving in a bus and we just got stopped in the middle of the jungle at midnight by a dozen men in camouflage with no patches or rank or insignia and machine guns who stopped us and searched our vehicle, said nothing, and then waved us on.
[01:03:53]  That's the way you want that to happen, though.
[01:03:55]  Yeah, that is the way you want that to happen.
[01:03:57]  And there was like an empty flipped over box truck, you know, a quarter mile down the road with its lights on that had clearly been robbed.
[01:04:02]  Like, who the fuck knows what was going on?
[01:04:04]  But this is like the kind of country that you're driving through.
[01:04:07]  And we're driving through it and we take what's called a chicken bus.
[01:04:10]  And a chicken bus is a giant school bus that's been covered in chrome and painted ridiculous colors.
[01:04:16]  And they drive them on these hairpin, a lot of times unpaved mountain roads.
[01:04:20]  They'll fill them up with fucking 200 people and just be darting down these things at 70 miles an hour.
[01:04:25]  It's real fun.
[01:04:27]  So we're taking this chicken bus and there's the aside from my friends and I, it's my partner at the time, her girlfriend, and my friend Josh.
[01:04:38]  And we're all fucking, we're all in this car and we're the only other, like, we're the only other white people other than this one French Canadian girl who's seated up front.
[01:04:50]  And everyone else is a local.
[01:04:51]  And when we get, the bus stops in the middle of a random small town and they tell us our connecting bus is there and it's the middle of the night and they toss our bags off and they toss the French Canadian girl's bags off and then they drive off with her still in the bus.
[01:05:05]  So we realize 30 minutes or so into this, we're in the middle of a jungle.
[01:05:11]  There's no one around us.
[01:05:12]  We're not in a town and no bus is coming to pick us up.
[01:05:16]  And also we have this stranger's back and we're in fucking bandit country.
[01:05:21]  So after, you know, I don't know.
[01:05:23]  And her bag's in French.
[01:05:25]  We don't even know what it means.
[01:05:27]  So 30 or 40 minutes go into this and we just start hiking.
[01:05:31]  And it's a kind of situation where like, yeah, this could go really, really badly.
[01:05:37]  Like we're in the middle of nowhere.
[01:05:39]  We don't even really know how to, we have a vague direction for where the town we're going is, but it's probably at least a five-hour hike away.
[01:05:48]  We're just in the middle of nowhere in the jungle in a foreign country.
[01:05:51]  And as we're hiking and like terrified as to whether or not we're ever going to like figure out how to get to where we're trying to go, this Range Rover pulls up.
[01:06:00]  And sitting in the front of a Range Rover is a dude who looked like the Dilbert guy.
[01:06:04]  He was a...
[01:06:05]  Can I interrupt?
[01:06:06]  Yeah.
[01:06:07]  Land Rover or Range Rover?
[01:06:09]  Land Rover.
[01:06:11]  Okay.
[01:06:11]  Because the Range Rover.
[01:06:13]  That would even, that's even more like, what the, where the fuck are you going to Range Rover?
[01:06:18]  No, no, this was like a real, like, this wasn't like a, like a, like, an LA mom Land Rover either.
[01:06:23]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was just fucking watching.
[01:06:26]  Yeah, I got you.
[01:06:26]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:06:27]  So he pulls up and he's like this Dilbert Scott Adams looking motherfucker.
[01:06:32]  Like he's, he's thin and he's bald and he has a very like gentle Arkansas accent.
[01:06:39]  So like, and yeah.
[01:06:41]  So he pulls us, he pulls over by the side and he asks like very politely, do y'all need a ride?
[01:06:47]  We're like, yes.
[01:06:49]  You know, what are the odds that we run into this American in the middle of someone like we can talk to and very easily explain where we're going?
[01:06:55]  And so we pile into his car and he's like, oh, it's, you know, it's great that y'all are heading to Atitlan.
[01:07:00]  I'm headed there myself.
[01:07:01]  And then he picks up a bag of raw meat of an indeterminate type that is sitting by my feet in the front seat of the car and says, I'm going to go sell this to my friend Paul.
[01:07:14]  He runs a hotel in the town.
[01:07:17]  And this sparks a very strange series of conversations.
[01:07:20]  So it becomes clear that he's butchered some animals and has decided to drive the unrefrigerated meat down to try to sell to a hotel.
[01:07:29]  And that sparks a conversation about why he had to leave the United States in the first place.
[01:07:33]  Which is, see, he has these theories, Billy Wayne.
[01:07:37]  He had these very theories based on Hindu mythology about how his wife needed to eat and hydrate while she was pregnant with their child.
[01:07:46]  And this is when I would have been asleep in the back and I would have woke up being like, keep going, go on.
[01:07:50]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:07:51]  So what's happening here?
[01:07:52]  Well, his theory was that it was actually all of the problems kids have is because their moms eat while they're pregnant and that his wife shouldn't eat anything at all, nothing but water.
[01:08:04]  And his proof that this had worked was that his baby came out blue, which meant that it was blessed by Sheba.
[01:08:13]  So at this point, we're still in the jungles of Guatemala in a guy's car who we're reliant on to get us to the town.
[01:08:20]  And now we're having this.
[01:08:21]  And I look back and like everyone, everyone in the back of the car has kind of that look on your face.
[01:08:26]  And I realize like, I have to continue this conversation for however long it takes us to get where we're going.
[01:08:34]  Oh, that's what that phrase, nothing is free, means.
[01:08:39]  Yeah.
[01:08:39]  There's a tax on this ride.
[01:08:42]  So we talk about he has a lot of opinions on rainbow gatherings, which are like this thing that hippies do that's kind of like a precursor to Burning Man.
[01:08:50]  It also still occurs.
[01:08:51]  It was like a gathering, and you'll encounter different opinions on rainbow gatherings depending on who you talk to.
[01:08:56]  This guy thinks they're a great thing, but is very angry because he got banned from ever attending again for misunderstandings.
[01:09:03]  And it becomes very clear that the misunderstandings are consent-based.
[01:09:07]  And also very clear, this is a lifelong pattern for this guy.
[01:09:10]  So as we finally do get close to town, which I was happy to hear.
[01:09:17]  And as we get close to our hotel, and our hotel is, the guy who ran it was another creepy expat, but a British expat.
[01:09:24]  So not dangerous.
[01:09:26]  Not at all.
[01:09:27]  Not at all.
[01:09:27]  He had like four wives, but it was fine.
[01:09:29]  I mean, it wasn't fine.
[01:09:30]  One of them, like, anyway, he wasn't this guy.
[01:09:36]  They would make leaps in their stories.
[01:09:38]  You'd be like, oh, there's some parts I think they're leaving out.
[01:09:41]  Yeah.
[01:09:42]  That's okay.
[01:09:43]  What just happened right now?
[01:09:45]  Continue.
[01:09:45]  So we roll up to the hotel and he's like, so Paul doesn't like to talk to me anymore, but I need to sell him this meat because it won't survive the trip back.
[01:09:54]  Could you convince him to buy this meat from me?
[01:09:59]  Which I have to try to do because he's given us a ride.
[01:10:03]  I was going to say, this is like hearts of hands.
[01:10:06]  You got to.
[01:10:07]  And I do.
[01:10:08]  And Paul does not want to buy the meat.
[01:10:10]  And the guy hangs out in town sleeping in his car for another couple of days trying to sell this meat to people.
[01:10:16]  And we had a couple of local friends.
[01:10:17]  Paul's like, I know who sent you here.
[01:10:19]  I know who sent you.
[01:10:22]  So the next day, we're out like walking around town and we see this guy and say hi.
[01:10:26]  And one of our local friends, we had a couple of friends who were like actual like Guatemalan locals.
[01:10:31]  He sees us talking to this guy.
[01:10:33]  This is a dude we drunk with a little bit.
[01:10:35]  He was the security guard at our hotel.
[01:10:37]  So we would hang out at night and have a couple of beers and he would let us shoot his gun into the air because every night he would shoot his gun into the air so people knew a guy with a gun was at the hotel.
[01:10:45]  So that guy's communication.
[01:10:47]  That's what we're talking about.
[01:10:49]  Sold us pot too.
[01:10:50]  He was a great dude.
[01:10:51]  He sounds fun.
[01:10:53]  He was awesome.
[01:10:54]  He comes up to us after we say goodbye to this fellow, and he says, notably, he looks less friendly than he ever has before.
[01:11:04]  And he very carefully asks us, is that man your friend?
[01:11:08]  And I say very clearly, no, not really.
[01:11:12]  He just gave us a ride last night.
[01:11:13]  I don't really know him.
[01:11:14]  And he said, yeah, well, that guy has done some very bad things to some of the kids in this town.
[01:11:21]  And we're going to run him out of town tonight.
[01:11:23]  And if he doesn't leave on his own, like, he's going to go by other means.
[01:11:28]  And you probably shouldn't be seen talking to him.
[01:11:34]  So that was the, that's my story of the pedophile who saved my life.
[01:11:37]  It's not as exciting, maybe, as it sounds, but it was a fun two days.
[01:11:40]  Well, and then you gave him some extra time in town.
[01:11:45]  So I not out on purpose.
[01:11:48]  No, that's what I mean.
[01:11:49]  But like he saw you guys and was like, oh, this is a little bit of a ticket in.
[01:11:54]  Yes.
[01:11:55]  This is because these guys are mad at me because of my misunderstandings.
[01:12:02]  I don't know.
[01:12:02]  I love weirdos.
[01:12:03]  Like, obviously, I don't love that this guy has been leaving a trail of broken lives and had to flee the United States because he definitely poisoned his kid, who he was, he assured us his kid was doing great and a genius, but no, no, he's not.
[01:12:20]  No.
[01:12:21]  No, what he did was malnutrition.
[01:12:23]  That's what he did.
[01:12:24]  What you did was malnutrition, and you are the kind of expat who just can't ever come back home.
[01:12:31]  Yes.
[01:12:33]  Oh, man.
[01:12:35]  Yeah.
[01:12:38]  It was fun.
[01:12:40]  There were like those places, though, like, where it just made me think of a friend of mine was touring the world doing stand-up.
[01:12:48]  And he was like, I called him and I was like, where are you at?
[01:12:52]  And he's like, I'm trying to get out of, and I'm not going to say the islands he was in in the South Pacific or Southeast Asia.
[01:13:00]  But he was trying to, because he was like, I just realized the guy I was staying with is not as cool as I thought.
[01:13:07]  I was like, why?
[01:13:07]  And he was like, well, he said he's not allowed back in South Africa.
[01:13:11]  And I was like, yeah, man.
[01:13:14]  You should go right.
[01:13:14]  You should, I'm not, I'm going to hang up right now.
[01:13:16]  I don't want to be talking.
[01:13:17]  You know what?
[01:13:18]  That's not super easy to get banned from South Africa.
[01:13:21]  That's what I told him.
[01:13:22]  I was like, it's, I was like, they're pretty loose on what you can do there.
[01:13:26]  And he's like, no, I'm away.
[01:13:27]  You need to have done a very specific kind of bad thing to get banned from South Africa.
[01:13:36]  Yes.
[01:13:36]  Yeah.
[01:13:38]  Yeah.
[01:13:38]  And that's, he was like, no, no.
[01:13:40]  And he said it so casually, too.
[01:13:42]  I was like, yeah, you got to go.
[01:13:46]  Yeah.
[01:13:47]  Yeah.
[01:13:47]  You wind up.
[01:13:48]  I wound up kind of slightly beholden to some folks like that over the years because I was always working while I was living on the road.
[01:13:56]  And so I would, it was critical to me to have internet access.
[01:13:59]  So sometimes you just have to be good friends with whoever owns the business with the best internet access in town.
[01:14:05]  And sometimes, like there was this other guy who owned a bar in Guatemala who was a former highway patrol officer from Arizona and said that one of the first things he told me when I met him was like, I used to be a highway patrol officer in Arizona and I can never go back now.
[01:14:21]  And he clearly had in the recent past had a couple of hundred grand to spend on buying a hotel in a bar.
[01:14:28]  And those two things were connected.
[01:14:30]  Yeah, they are.
[01:14:31]  Yeah.
[01:14:32]  He was a crooked highway patrol officer.
[01:14:34]  Yes.
[01:14:35]  And he was also like the big drug dealer in town, which I'm sure also tied into why he's no longer a highway patrol officer.
[01:14:44]  He saw a business opportunity and was like, I don't want to be in law enforcement anymore.
[01:14:48]  No.
[01:14:49]  I want to run a shady ass bar that gets European kids dangerously intoxicated on their holidays.
[01:15:00]  And that's what he did.
[01:15:00]  My last memory of this guy is because he also had a 17-year-old wife who'd just given birth, which is another type.
[01:15:09]  It's tight.
[01:15:10]  That's what I don't think people that don't.
[01:15:13]  Same eyes.
[01:15:14]  They don't understand.
[01:15:15]  I've told people this a long time ago, too.
[01:15:17]  It's like some of my friends that don't travel, it's like, we'd be in a bar and I'm like, hey, this is going to happen.
[01:15:21]  This is going to happen.
[01:15:22]  This is going to happen.
[01:15:22]  They'd be like, what?
[01:15:23]  And then it would happen.
[01:15:24]  They're like, how'd you know that?
[01:15:25]  I'm like, I just, I've seen this.
[01:15:28]  We're all the same.
[01:15:29]  Yeah.
[01:15:30]  This guy got invited us to a cool party.
[01:15:32]  No, I've known this guy before and you do not want to go to that party.
[01:15:35]  No, you don't.
[01:15:36]  It's going to get weird about 1.45 in the morning.
[01:15:39]  That's when it gets, it's going to be fun until then.
[01:15:41]  And you're like, oh, this wasn't the party, was it?
[01:15:44]  Yeah.
[01:15:45]  It's not going to just get like weird, like your friend gets drunk and starts crying.
[01:15:49]  It's going to get like nothing else will ever be normal again for the rest of your life.
[01:15:54]  Yes.
[01:15:54]  It will change you as a person.
[01:15:57]  Yes.
[01:15:58]  Yes.
[01:16:00]  Yeah.
[01:16:00]  My last memory of that cop was he had his baby on a bassinet around his chest and he was shirtless other than the baby he was wearing.
[01:16:09]  And he was leaning over the counter of his bar with a jar of mushrooms preserved and honey and he was spooning them into a naked Danish boy's mouth.
[01:16:19]  Yes.
[01:16:20]  Just like, bye, Alan.
[01:16:22]  Yes.
[01:16:25]  And here's the thing I don't think people understand, like, unless you've been in these situations.
[01:16:29]  Like, I could do this podcast for 18 hours.
[01:16:34]  Yeah.
[01:16:35]  Because everything you bring up, there's like things I've forgotten about.
[01:16:38]  Oh, yeah, that guy or oh, that time.
[01:16:40]  Yeah.
[01:16:40]  It's like you what, like, you can't stop these people.
[01:16:46]  No.
[01:16:47]  You can't stop the tiger king.
[01:16:49]  You can't stop Carol Baskins.
[01:16:51]  No.

=== The Unstoppable Tiger King Energy (09:07) ===

[01:16:52]  They have an energy that that's what propels them in this life.
[01:16:57]  It's like a trunk kind of person that kind of goes through only thing that stops them is them.
[01:17:03]  Yeah.
[01:17:04]  Like Carol Baskins will eventually like her wanting fame the way she does is going to be her undoing.
[01:17:14]  Yeah.
[01:17:14]  Yeah.
[01:17:15]  It's the, I don't know.
[01:17:17]  I don't know philosophy, but there's a thing people who I know who talk about philosophy talk about a phrase they use, the will to power.
[01:17:24]  And I don't really know what that means.
[01:17:25]  But there is a will to something specific in all of these people.
[01:17:29]  Power, I guess, might be one way to define it, but it's usually something weirder than that.
[01:17:33]  I think Carol Baskin has this will to like, I want to be the person who takes care of the most hurt cats.
[01:17:39]  Like the Bhagwan Bhagavan wants what, like, you see what he wants.
[01:17:44]  Like this, he's built this little paradise for himself.
[01:17:46]  They all want.
[01:17:47]  He called himself Lord.
[01:17:48]  Yeah.
[01:17:48]  I mean, it's very clear where you're like, as a, yeah.
[01:17:52]  I'm on an armchair therapist this.
[01:17:54]  I'm like, oh, okay.
[01:17:56]  Big fan of the doc, aren't you?
[01:17:58]  Yeah.
[01:17:59]  Yeah.
[01:18:00]  And most of them are harmless on the societal level because their dreams are so specific, right?
[01:18:06]  Yes.
[01:18:06]  They want to have a hundred cockatoos or something like that.
[01:18:10]  And it's like, okay, like, yeah, I want to give more mushrooms to 17-year-old Danish kids than anyone else has ever done.
[01:18:17]  Yeah, fine.
[01:18:18]  Like, I mean, not fine because some kids got into some really bad health situations over there, but like, whatever.
[01:18:24]  They knew what they were getting into.
[01:18:25]  More or less.
[01:18:26]  Yeah.
[01:18:26]  I'm taking some stuff where I'm like, oh, yeah.
[01:18:29]  Yeah.
[01:18:29]  Yeah.
[01:18:30]  It's whatever.
[01:18:33]  Most of them don't do societal levels of harm because of the specificity of their dreams.
[01:18:40]  And I guess that's the thing.
[01:18:41]  The ones that are can be fun to hang out with and that can give you cool stories are the ones who have a weirdly specific dream.
[01:18:51]  But also sometimes that dream is to see what happens if they don't let their wife eat while she's pregnant.
[01:18:57]  It is.
[01:18:57]  Well, it breeds that other.
[01:18:59]  Because it reminds me of because of the 80s and 90s when there was a huge comedy boom.
[01:19:08]  Yeah.
[01:19:08]  Like these guys would own these clubs and some of them still exist.
[01:19:13]  And there's like a handful of them that are very Tiger King-esque type.
[01:19:18]  Because what it is, they own their own little kingdom that doesn't really mess with anything else.
[01:19:24]  And the people that come in their kingdom come and go.
[01:19:28]  But it's theirs, so they make the rules.
[01:19:32]  Like there's certain clubs where I'm like, oh, I just don't play there anymore because you just, that's, you just can't.
[01:19:39]  I don't have to.
[01:19:41]  He has this trap where like that's the business model or whatever, whereas like he's going to drink three bottles of Crown Royal in three days and then take his shirt off after the show.
[01:19:51]  You know what?
[01:19:52]  He gets to do that because he's the owner and I need $1,400 this week.
[01:19:57]  Yeah.
[01:19:58]  Yep.
[01:19:59]  Yep.
[01:20:00]  That's it.
[01:20:01]  Yeah.
[01:20:01]  That's capitalism too.
[01:20:03]  Yeah, that's that's the problem.
[01:20:05]  Like that's a big part of my issue with capitalism is the amount of power it gives these people.
[01:20:13]  Like these people are a product of capitalism in a lot of ways.
[01:20:17]  Like there's aspects of what's going on in their head that obviously I'm sure whatever it is makes these people the way they are.
[01:20:22]  People like this have always existed.
[01:20:25]  But the fact that they are able to hold money over other people is at the end of the day, what makes almost all of them able to do the bad stuff that they do.
[01:20:37]  Because that gives them power over people.
[01:20:39]  And it is this, the problem isn't, it's not necessarily a bad thing to want to live on a compound in the woods because I have a fond dream, Billy.
[01:20:47]  I have several Zillow properties.
[01:20:49]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:20:50]  And getting to shoot off my porch and write ATVs with my friends and maybe keep a tiger or two and some alligators, right?
[01:20:59]  And a couple of alligators.
[01:21:00]  The way things are looking, I think a tiger or two might just end up on our property.
[01:21:05]  It's possible.
[01:21:06]  And what's the harm?
[01:21:08]  The problem is that they build these fiefdoms that are based on this very strict hierarchy that is them.
[01:21:16]  And the only thing that really matters, they're all cults, right?
[01:21:20]  Even if there's no religious, like all of the people in Tiger King are cult leaders.
[01:21:24]  Yes.
[01:21:25]  That guy I met in his fucking ranch in Nowhere, California was a cult leader.
[01:21:31]  He just only had one member, but he was hoping that he would get two more.
[01:21:35]  Yeah.
[01:21:37]  That's what it is.
[01:21:38]  And it's if we discarded capitalism tomorrow for a more ethical system, they would still exist, but it would be harder for them to do what it is they do.
[01:21:49]  Yes.
[01:21:52]  It would take longer and it would be a Carol Baskin situation.
[01:21:55]  Yeah.
[01:21:56]  You have to volunteer and then this tiered because they're all wonderful manipulators.
[01:22:03]  Yeah.
[01:22:04]  Yeah.
[01:22:04]  All of them.
[01:22:04]  Yeah.
[01:22:06]  Because that's what they're doing to the animals is they're manipulating these base animals.
[01:22:12]  I mean, they're manipulating these animals on this base thing.
[01:22:14]  Like, you want food?
[01:22:15]  You got to do this.
[01:22:15]  You got to do this.
[01:22:16]  And that's what they're doing to these people that want to be around the cats.
[01:22:21]  Yeah.
[01:22:22]  And that's why my motto is never trust anyone with a well-behaved dog.
[01:22:27]  Just anyone who can train a dog is a dangerous manipulative person.
[01:22:31]  That is my...
[01:22:32]  I'm taking a strong stance against the training of dogs here.
[01:22:37]  That's, well, some of them.
[01:22:39]  Yeah.
[01:22:40]  It's a bit that doesn't have any legs, but it's kind of safe.
[01:22:44]  The German Shepherd is like you can't really control, and they say they're very smart, but they're like everybody I've ever talked to is like, every now and then they just go nuts, and you're like, Well, it's like that'd be like if you're like, Yeah, I mean, I have this machine gun, it's pretty great.
[01:22:59]  Every now and then it just shoots for no fucking reason.
[01:23:02]  It usually only fires when I pull the trigger.
[01:23:04]  I mean, that's a little bit like owning a Taurus, actually, but or certain Remingtons, unfortunately.
[01:23:14]  Um, yeah, you gotta make things a massive look.
[01:23:17]  Triggers are hard, you can't be expected to get them all right, they're not that important either, you know.
[01:23:21]  No, exactly.
[01:23:22]  There's so many other parts of the gun to get right, but the truth is that's exactly right.
[01:23:28]  Oh, Jesus.
[01:23:29]  Well, Billy, I feel like you got any other stories you wanted to make sure to drop out on this one before we roll out from this special episode.
[01:23:40]  So I mean, I'm just trying to.
[01:23:42]  I mean, there's not like I mean, I went to the people in Nevada.
[01:23:49]  That was one that stood up because she was a big cat, and that was a very specific type of human being.
[01:23:55]  Um, but animal people are weird, animal people are always fascinating.
[01:24:01]  I mean, I've got a lot of time in Florida, so I've got I could write a book about some of these characters because it's just yeah.
[01:24:11]  I there's an I know that I am profoundly driven to meet and hang out with these kinds of people in my life, and it has caused me to make a number of decisions that if my life were a movie, I would have gotten murdered very quickly.
[01:24:26]  Oh, like I have regularly been like, Oh, I'm in a cabin in the woods, and there's a dangerous person showing me his antique gun.
[01:24:33]  Okay, hmm, you know, like I let a drunk native girl in our uh cabin in Alaska at five in the morning.
[01:24:44]  Oh boy, yeah.
[01:24:45]  I mean, I eventually got her out, but the next day I told people about it, and they were they yelled at me.
[01:24:53]  Not to they're like, oh, that would have been, that could have been terrible, dude, because everyone's armed.
[01:24:57]  I was like, Oh no, it was snowing, it was cold, I don't know.
[01:25:00]  They're like, Nope, just leave her.
[01:25:02]  And I was like, Okay, all right, just because like you're not supposed to let strangers into your cabin at night, yes, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
[01:25:13]  I we make the we make these bad calls because there there is something like with the tigers, there's something intoxicating about being around this kind, which is why they're able to form cults.
[01:25:26]  And the healthy amount to be around them is just long enough to realize they're profoundly dangerous, and then you leave with a story.
[01:25:33]  Um, that's I'm sure you just nailed why I love the show.
[01:25:38]  That's it's because I've been around all these people, yeah, it's scary, but when I'm watching them through the television, I can turn it off and it's just funny.
[01:25:49]  Yeah, this won't be a problem for me, for me, it's for me, yes, yeah, it will be a problem, it is a problem for me, yeah.

=== Meth as a Shortcut to Flow (03:42) ===

[01:25:59]  On a societal level, it's a problem.
[01:26:02]  Um, and it's a lot of individuals, huh?
[01:26:05]  Yeah, I ask you another just a quick when did you realize meth was such a part of it before.
[01:26:14]  I mean, because they don't tell you till later, but like when was it clear?
[01:26:17]  Oh, when I saw when I saw the boyfriend's teeth, you know, yeah, that was a pretty clear, like, okay, that's what that's that's I mean, there's also like Joe's general demeanor.
[01:26:29]  Yeah.
[01:26:29]  You can tell when people have been abusing methamphetamine for a long period of time because of their speech patterns and the way that they move their body in a lot of ways and the way that kind of like their emotions within a sentence will arc.
[01:26:44]  That's when he's on the four-wheeler chasing that tornado.
[01:26:52]  I was cry laughing.
[01:26:55]  And I was like, they've got to talk about him being on drugs.
[01:26:59]  I was like, that's someone on drugs.
[01:27:03]  Yeah.
[01:27:06]  My wife was like, well, I don't know.
[01:27:08]  People, the tornadoes happen there a lot.
[01:27:09]  And I was like, yeah, they do.
[01:27:11]  And that's why people don't chase them on fucking four-wheelers.
[01:27:14]  They do happen a lot.
[01:27:15]  They know not to do that.
[01:27:17]  And I think the thing people have to understand about methamphetamine as it relates to these folks is that it isn't the cause of the behavior.
[01:27:26]  In the same way that if you start a gasoline fire, the gasoline doesn't cause the fire.
[01:27:32]  The lighter causes the fire, just like any other fire you light.
[01:27:35]  But the gasoline alters the character of the fire in certain predictable ways that can be dangerous.
[01:27:42]  Yes.
[01:27:46]  Yeah, there's certain barriers nature has put in front of that human being that meth is like, we'll just get rid of those.
[01:27:53]  Yep.
[01:27:53]  Yep.
[01:27:54]  I've only done meth once, and it wasn't crystal meth.
[01:27:57]  You know, it was, it was in its pill form.
[01:28:00]  And that was about enough.
[01:28:01]  You know, it, I can see how you can lose yourself in it because what it, what it really does that's, that I imagined would be most addictive is it makes it so much easier to tunnel into a task.
[01:28:16]  Like that thing people talk about, they talk about that state of flow.
[01:28:19]  Um, like that, like fucking, you know, everybody in Silicon Valley is trying to figure out how to like hack your brain so you can be in a flow state and produce more.
[01:28:27]  Meth is a shortcut to that in some ways.
[01:28:31]  And I was in one of the most blissful flow states of my life filling up 120 gallons worth of five-gallon gasoline cans shirtless in the back of a truck in rural Texas.
[01:28:42]  And I was not taking the proper safety precautions, but I loved every minute of that.
[01:28:47]  You getting it done.
[01:28:48]  Yeah.
[01:28:50]  It's that in, and it's that Joe is in, Joe lived his life in a state of flow until he wound up in prison because he was not thinking about certain consequences.
[01:29:01]  No.
[01:29:02]  No, he was not.
[01:29:04]  No, that is an inter that flow is like, I know friends of mine talk about that sipping that syrup, that codeine syrup.
[01:29:15]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[01:29:16]  Like, and they talk about like, oh, I was, there can be a comedian friend of mine, and he was like, I was rapping and flowing like it was unbelievable.
[01:29:27]  I was like, oh, so that he's like, it's, he's like, your brain doesn't work until you start talking, and then it's the sharpest thing you've ever, like, you're the sharpest you've ever been when you talk.
[01:29:38]  And I was like, oh, that's why rappers, he was like, that's exactly why rappers use it.

=== Following Robert's Career Path (07:53) ===

[01:29:42]  He's like, because it channels this thing.
[01:29:44]  And I was like, I was like, it also causes seizures.
[01:29:46]  He's like, that's why I had to stop doing it.
[01:29:48]  Yeah, it's that fucking DXM.
[01:29:52]  Oh, boy.
[01:29:53]  That's fascinating because that's what we're all trying to get to, is that?
[01:29:58]  Yeah, and I think that drugs and the kind of people who can make us feel like we're on drugs are the most dangerous thing in the world.
[01:30:10]  And they're also pretty fun.
[01:30:14]  So go drive out in the middle of nowhere, find a rich, dangerous person, and hang out for no more than three hours or so.
[01:30:24]  Yeah, I was going to say.
[01:30:27]  Treat them like, like, it's like Vegas is three or four days.
[01:30:30]  Treated that kind of person like three or four hours.
[01:30:33]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:30:34]  And, like, don't, like, when you're hanging around with a tiger, don't turn your back on them.
[01:30:41]  They are both wild animals.
[01:30:44]  That is, it's, yes.
[01:30:46]  Yeah.
[01:30:47]  Yeah.
[01:30:48]  And, and if you haven't seen the Carol Baskins TikTok video, you should probably go do that.
[01:30:54]  Sophie's a fan of the talks.
[01:30:56]  I don't think it's going to catch on.
[01:30:58]  No, don't like the talks like this talks.
[01:31:02]  The Baskins.
[01:31:04]  The Chinese are hoping they will.
[01:31:06]  Yeah.
[01:31:07]  I don't know.
[01:31:08]  I'm not going to make it.
[01:31:09]  The tweens are hoping they will.
[01:31:11]  Although there's an easy one to make.
[01:31:12]  There is a good one.
[01:31:13]  We'll listen.
[01:31:14]  It's an easy one to make.
[01:31:15]  Yeah, they can put that one together.
[01:31:16]  There's enough of that from the racists that I don't need to encourage it.
[01:31:20]  I hate when I have an idea for this would be a good joke, but it's not far enough from what racist people like from that kind of humor for me to make it.
[01:31:31]  It's not a racist.
[01:31:32]  It's open to my career.
[01:31:33]  It's open to my whole career.
[01:31:35]  Yeah, I know.
[01:31:36]  This mouth.
[01:31:37]  Yeah.
[01:31:39]  Oh, I could sell that joke.
[01:31:41]  You got to be careful.
[01:31:41]  I'm going to sell that one.
[01:31:42]  I can't do it.
[01:31:43]  I'm going to have to sell that one.
[01:31:44]  That's a lot of, yeah.
[01:31:46]  We did eventually, just as a coda to the story of the pedophile who saved me, we did eventually we got into contact.
[01:31:54]  So like the next day when we were in town, like the Ayodante, which is like the assistant bus driver, like found us and got the woman's bag.
[01:32:02]  And like we'd reached out to her on Facebook that night because we found her info written in the bag.
[01:32:06]  And like he got the bag and we assumed everything was fine.
[01:32:09]  And three years later, she messages me on Facebook like, I never saw this message until now.
[01:32:14]  No, no one ever brought my bag to me.
[01:32:16]  So I was like, oh, that guy just stole your bag.
[01:32:20]  It was a good time.
[01:32:22]  That's a great end.
[01:32:23]  Yeah.
[01:32:25]  I just saw this.
[01:32:25]  I didn't get that bag back.
[01:32:27]  And that's the end of this episode.
[01:32:29]  Yep.
[01:32:30]  Go.
[01:32:31]  Where can people follow you, Billy?
[01:32:33]  Christ be with you.
[01:32:34]  Billy Wayne Davis on Twitter and Instagram.
[01:32:37]  If you want to catch where I'm going to be touring one day, one day, bwdtour.com.
[01:32:45]  And then I have a cannabis podcast coming out April 20th.
[01:32:51]  It's called Grown Local, where we go to the first season's about Eugene Oregon and the community and people that make up their cannabis growing.
[01:32:59]  Excellent.
[01:33:00]  Well, speaking of cannabis, a lot of dangerous rich people in the cannabis industry.
[01:33:05]  So hang out in rural Oregon, too.
[01:33:07]  It's a great place to meet them.
[01:33:10]  You should listen.
[01:33:12]  I was doing that edit where I was like a couple of them.
[01:33:14]  I was like, oh, that, well, that's a different podcast, so I can't talk about that one.
[01:33:20]  All right.
[01:33:21]  This has been Behind the Bastards.
[01:33:22]  You can find us online at behindthebastards.com, but there's no sources for this episode.
[01:33:26]  Just life experience.
[01:33:29]  You can watch Tiger King if you haven't yet.
[01:33:32]  It's fun.
[01:33:33]  It's exploitative, but whatever.
[01:33:35]  It's also really sad.
[01:33:38]  I'm going to rule right now that it's okay to make explodative TV about the South because of the Confederacy.
[01:33:45]  Yes.
[01:33:45]  That's the way we're going on this.
[01:33:48]  My whole career has been trying to change the correct perception of the South.
[01:33:56]  Yeah.
[01:33:57]  Also, I guarantee we end up doing a Behind the Bastards on Jeff Lowe one day.
[01:34:01]  That guy seems to have so many people.
[01:34:03]  Anybody?
[01:34:04]  Oh, you wear an Oakley hat like that?
[01:34:06]  Immediately.
[01:34:07]  I was like, immediately.
[01:34:09]  Yeah.
[01:34:10]  Oh, my God.
[01:34:11]  Anyways, you can follow us at BastardsPod on Twitter and Instagram.
[01:34:14]  You can follow Robert at iWriteOK.
[01:34:16]  And you can buy a shirt or a mug or a Wall art or a sticker or a magnet at tpublic.com.
[01:34:26]  And you can take my, again, legally actionable advice to hang out with dangerous people in the middle of nowhere.
[01:34:33]  It always ends well.
[01:34:36]  Or if you're bored, you can listen to the women's war.
[01:34:39]  I have to do it.
[01:34:40]  That is also an option.
[01:34:41]  You can do it on the way to where they live.
[01:34:44]  Oh, there we go.
[01:34:46]  You're going to be driving 90 minutes or more.
[01:34:48]  Yeah.
[01:34:49]  They're always like, and they always talk about like it's a short drive.
[01:34:52]  You need to ask what that means to a lot of people like that.
[01:34:55]  It's never.
[01:34:56]  Yeah, you're going to get a lot of direction that tells you to turn its stumps and stuff.
[01:35:01]  Yeah.
[01:35:02]  Yeah.
[01:35:03]  Anyways, this is the episode.
[01:35:06]  Yeah, this is done.
[01:35:08]  It's over.
[01:35:09]  Bye.
[01:35:09]  Bye.
[01:35:20]  When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
[01:35:28]  I vowed I will be his last target.
[01:35:31]  He is not going to get away with this.
[01:35:33]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[01:35:35]  We always say that: trust your girlfriends.
[01:35:39]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[01:35:41]  Trust me, babe.
[01:35:42]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:35:52]  I'm Lori Siegel, and this is Mostly Human, a tech podcast through a human lens.
[01:35:56]  This week, an interview with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.
[01:36:00]  I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products we put out in the world.
[01:36:07]  An in-depth conversation with a man who's shaping our future.
[01:36:10]  My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI.
[01:36:14]  Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
[01:36:22]  Hey, it's Nora Jones, and my podcast, Playing Along, is back with more of my favorite musicians.
[01:36:28]  Check out my newest episode with Josh Groban.
[01:36:31]  You related to the Phantom at that point.
[01:36:34]  Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
[01:36:35]  That's so funny.
[01:36:37]  Share stay with me each night, each morning.
[01:36:45]  Listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:36:53]  What's up, everyone?
[01:36:54]  I'm Ego Modem.
[01:36:55]  My next guest, it's Will Farrell.
[01:36:57]  Woo, My dad gave me the best advice ever.
[01:37:02]  He goes, just give it a shot.
[01:37:03]  But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit.
[01:37:10]  If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.
[01:37:13]  It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat just hang in there.
[01:37:20]  Yeah, it would not be.
[01:37:22]  Right, it wouldn't be that.
[01:37:23]  There's a lot of life.
[01:37:25]  Listen to Thanks Dad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:37:32]  This is an iHeart podcast.
[01:37:34]  Guaranteed human.