Behind the Bastards - Part One: Hitler's Sex Life: The Whole Sad Story
Aired: 2019-02-26
Duration: 01:13:38


=== Behind The Bastards Intro (02:54) ===

[00:00:00]  This is an iHeart podcast.
[00:00:02]  Guaranteed human.
[00:00:04]  In 2023, bachelor star Clayton Eckard was accused of fathering twins, but the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax.
[00:00:11]  You doctored this particular test twice, Miss Owens, correct?
[00:00:15]  I doctored the test once.
[00:00:17]  It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern.
[00:00:22]  Two more men who'd been through the same thing.
[00:00:24]  Greg Goespie and Michael Mancini.
[00:00:26]  My mind was blown.
[00:00:27]  I'm Stephanie Young.
[00:00:29]  This is Love Trapped.
[00:00:30]  Laura, Scottsdale Police.
[00:00:32]  As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.
[00:00:37]  Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:00:44]  10-10 shots five, city hall building.
[00:00:47]  Did this ever happen in City Hall?
[00:00:49]  Somebody tell me that.
[00:00:50]  A shocking public murder.
[00:00:52]  This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics.
[00:00:58]  They screamed, get down, get down.
[00:01:00]  Those are shots.
[00:01:02]  A tragedy that's now forgotten.
[00:01:04]  And a mystery that may or may not have been political.
[00:01:07]  That may have been about sex.
[00:01:09]  Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:01:18]  When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
[00:01:26]  I vowed I will be his last target.
[00:01:29]  He is not going to get away with this.
[00:01:31]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[00:01:33]  We always say that, trust your girlfriends.
[00:01:38]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[00:01:39]  Trust me, babe.
[00:01:40]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:01:50]  I'm Laurie Siegel, and this is Mostly Human, a tech podcast through a human lens.
[00:01:54]  This week, an interview with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.
[00:01:58]  I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products we put out in the world.
[00:02:05]  An in-depth conversation with the man who's shaping our future.
[00:02:09]  My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI.
[00:02:12]  Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
[00:02:24]  Introduction!
[00:02:25]  I'm Robert Evans.
[00:02:26]  This is Behind the Bastards, the podcast.
[00:02:27]  We tell you everything you don't know about the very worst people in all of history.
[00:02:31]  With me today is Brandy Posey.
[00:02:33]  Hello.
[00:02:33]  How are you doing, Brandy?
[00:02:34]  I'm doing pretty great.
[00:02:36]  I'm excited to get into this.
[00:02:37]  Brandy, you are a stand-up comedian.
[00:02:40]  You get any pluggables to kick off at the start here?
[00:02:44]  Yeah, I tour around quite a bit.
[00:02:46]  You can go to brandyposey.com, Brandy with an IE, Posey with an E-Y for all of my tour dates.
[00:02:51]  I also have a podcast called Lady to Lady.

=== Hitler Sex Life Myths (15:28) ===

[00:02:54]  That is very, very fun.
[00:02:56]  We've had a lot of really awesome task guests like Margaret Trow and French Stewart.
[00:02:59]  So come check that out too.
[00:03:01]  Normally we work all that out ahead of time and I introduce it, but Sophie isn't here.
[00:03:05]  And as you can tell, like everything, everything's a nightmare.
[00:03:07]  It's okay.
[00:03:09]  You have like a terror in your eyes.
[00:03:11]  Oh, it's horrifying, the thought of not knowing what to do.
[00:03:14]  I don't know how to do, I don't know when we're going to do ad breaks.
[00:03:18]  This is the end for all of us.
[00:03:20]  Do you want me to count something down for you?
[00:03:22]  No, no.
[00:03:23]  Should I put on a Sophie wig of some kind that will calm your nerves properly for this recording?
[00:03:29]  The only possible thing to do in the face of chaos is to just completely yield to the chaos and give up even trying to structure the show.
[00:03:36]  Perfect.
[00:03:36]  Sounds great.
[00:03:37]  Yeah, I think that's the plan.
[00:03:39]  Okay.
[00:03:39]  Explains why you're standing on the table.
[00:03:40]  Great.
[00:03:41]  Yeah.
[00:03:41]  Yep.
[00:03:42]  Yep.
[00:03:42]  Now, Brandy.
[00:03:44]  Yes.
[00:03:44]  Today we have a subject that is near and dear to no one's hearts, but more important than I think a lot of people give it credit to.
[00:03:52]  Today we're talking about how Hitler fucked.
[00:03:55]  Ooh, so glad you called me for this.
[00:03:57]  Yeah.
[00:03:58]  I'm flattered.
[00:03:59]  Well, I mean, we had you wanted to talk about Stalin and his love of pranks and DJing and drinking more than anyone else.
[00:04:08]  And fucking Hitler feels like a prank.
[00:04:10]  Yeah.
[00:04:10]  Well, maybe.
[00:04:12]  Or maybe not.
[00:04:13]  I can't.
[00:04:14]  My predictions out of the gate can I give a prediction to the future.
[00:04:17]  Oh, you know what?
[00:04:18]  I'm very curious for that.
[00:04:19]  Not a generous lover.
[00:04:22]  Okay.
[00:04:23]  And also going to say this.
[00:04:26]  Not going to shame somebody for having a small penis because that is outside of your control, but real angry guy.
[00:04:34]  And I have a feeling he probably has a little guy.
[00:04:37]  The funny thing about Hitler, because Hitler's like the one person people have talked about more than any other single person in history.
[00:04:42]  More has been written about him and whatnot.
[00:04:44]  Everything you just talked about, the possibility he had a micropenis, the possibility he was not a generous lover.
[00:04:50]  This has all been debated by like elderly scholars from Stanford and Cambridge, I think.
[00:04:56]  Like that's one of the fun things about Hitler's studies is that like that question about whether or not he had a micropenis, like the CIAs weighed in.
[00:05:04]  It's a thing.
[00:05:05]  Of course.
[00:05:06]  Imagine dedicating your career to that.
[00:05:08]  Like mom, dad, I'm majoring in Hitler dick.
[00:05:10]  Well, just Hitler's studies in general.
[00:05:12]  If you're going to be into Hitler's studies, you're going to have some questions about his dick.
[00:05:16]  Yeah.
[00:05:16]  PH dick.
[00:05:17]  PH dick and Hitler's.
[00:05:19]  Fucking.
[00:05:20]  This is not going to be the most adult episode in certain points, but I think you'll be surprised where it goes.
[00:05:27]  I think everybody will.
[00:05:28]  I do like that in front of me on the table while recording, we do have a product called a Purina Busy Bone, which is just right on the table in front of me.
[00:05:35]  Yep.
[00:05:36]  Speaking of busy bones, Hitler's, it's debatable.
[00:05:41]  It's all very, very heavy.
[00:05:42]  Do you think his bone didn't get very busy?
[00:05:44]  Lazy Bone?
[00:05:44]  It's possible his bone got a lot busier than people give him credit for.
[00:05:48]  There's a lot of debate around this topic.
[00:05:50]  There's even a lot of debate about the nature of his genitals, in addition to the question that the OSS, the precursor to the CIA, talked a lot about whether or not he had a micropenis based on some interviews with some people.
[00:06:01]  There's a hypothesis that a goat bit off his dick when he was very young and that that was the secret of his madness, that a goat bit his dick.
[00:06:10]  Want that to be true?
[00:06:12]  A lot of people did.
[00:06:14]  Again, where's that goat statue?
[00:06:17]  I mean, we don't want to celebrate that goat if it's the secret to Hitler's madness.
[00:06:22]  Yeah, I mean, that's true.
[00:06:24]  That's true.
[00:06:25]  Now, and we're not going to get into much of that.
[00:06:27]  There's also a theory that he had one ball, and there was like a song during the war.
[00:06:30]  Hitler has only got one ball.
[00:06:33]  Goering has two but very small.
[00:06:36]  Nana.
[00:06:37]  Nana nana.
[00:06:38]  That was like a British ditty, but there were real rumors about it.
[00:06:42]  Is that where that melody comes from?
[00:06:44]  No.
[00:06:44]  Or is that a weird owl parody about...
[00:06:47]  I mean, Weird Al hadn't been conceived of yet.
[00:06:50]  It was a parody of that tune.
[00:06:52]  It was just an easy tune to mix a song to about Hitler's testicles.
[00:06:56]  I just wanted to make sure that that wasn't what that original song was because I was like, how is that not a fact in my lexicon at this point?
[00:07:03]  We have interviews with a couple of different doctors who palpated Hitler's genitals because that's what doctors do.
[00:07:08]  And they all say perfectly normal.
[00:07:11]  So there's no hard evidence of that, but it has been debated a lot.
[00:07:14]  And I do think it's important that people know for historical context that when bombs were raining down on London, people were comforting themselves with songs about Hitler and Goering's genitalia.
[00:07:24]  Yes.
[00:07:25]  I'm pretty into that, for sure.
[00:07:26]  It's great.
[00:07:26]  It's great.
[00:07:27]  Nothing cuts to the core quite like a parody song.
[00:07:30]  No, it doesn't.
[00:07:32]  Let's dive deeper into this.
[00:07:34]  Let's get in there.
[00:07:35]  Let's just get on in there.
[00:07:38]  So as you might guess by the fact that I wasn't even holding up my notes for that whole discussion about Hitler's genitalia and the rumors about it, I am what you might call a Hitler nerd.
[00:07:46]  I've read enough biographies of the man that I've started reading books about Hitler biographies that are essentially comparing all of the different biographies of Hitler and like biographies about writing biographies about Hitler.
[00:07:57]  It's a problem.
[00:07:58]  Yeah.
[00:07:59]  Yeah, it's not good.
[00:08:00]  Do you have like a shelf?
[00:08:00]  Is it like a shelf in your house, or do you have like a cloth in front of it?
[00:08:04]  You know, I own a couple of physical copies, but I, I, I, for the show, I get too many books.
[00:08:09]  Like, I just have everything on Kindle.
[00:08:11]  Like, okay.
[00:08:12]  I usually am buying sometimes two or three in a week.
[00:08:14]  Like, okay.
[00:08:15]  It just takes too long.
[00:08:17]  It's better to have that all digital.
[00:08:18]  Well, although I think if you were to actually see the titles laid out in front of you physically, you'd be like, oh.
[00:08:24]  There's things that would be that would be nicer, but it would, I think it would take a lot longer to put together episodes.
[00:08:28]  Fair.
[00:08:28]  Okay, cool.
[00:08:29]  The point of this is that I tend to be on the cutting edge of new Hitler research in terms of what I'm reading.
[00:08:35]  I'm not doing new Hitler research, but I still love to build on it.
[00:08:40]  So speaking of that, a couple of days ago, I was actively looking for new Hitler facts to just see if any had come out in the last couple of months since I checked that.
[00:08:52]  And I came across an article in the Independent called Hitler was a sexually confused serial killer.
[00:08:58]  Psychologist claims a new book.
[00:09:00]  So that's quite a claim.
[00:09:02]  So I think you could also probably just say serial killer because I think most serial killers have got their wires crossed.
[00:09:09]  Yeah, I mean, it's interesting the term confused for a serial killer because I wonder if a guy like Ted Bundy probably wouldn't be like, no, I wasn't confused.
[00:09:17]  I just, this is what I wanted to do.
[00:09:19]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
[00:09:20]  Yeah.
[00:09:20]  The confusion came from wherever the wiring crossed in the first place.
[00:09:24]  Yeah.
[00:09:24]  He's very matter of fact about, yeah.
[00:09:26]  And the book that apparently makes these claims is titled Hitler One and Hitler II, The Sexual No Man's Land.
[00:09:31]  It's by a best-selling German author and psychiatrist named Volcker Ellis Pilgrim.
[00:09:36]  Is that like a new, like, that's a very dark cat in the hat?
[00:09:39]  Hitler I and Hitler II, the cat in the hat, go and they just Hitler I and Hitler II.
[00:09:45]  Yeah.
[00:09:46]  They can do anything, anything.
[00:09:48]  Oh, no.
[00:09:49]  Under the sun and rat.
[00:09:51]  It's a white supremacist parody right there for sure.
[00:09:54]  Yeah, some Nazi listening in is already hard at work on that.
[00:09:59]  Not the Dr. Seuss version.
[00:10:04]  I haven't gotten to read that book because it's only in German and I do not read German, which is almost the title of a great podcast.
[00:10:10]  There's a podcast called I Don't Speak German about the alt-right that people should listen to if they want.
[00:10:15]  It's kind of like my show, but way more focused on that one narrow group of people.
[00:10:19]  Great podcast.
[00:10:20]  Anyway.
[00:10:21]  I don't read German.
[00:10:22]  Yeah, I don't read German.
[00:10:23]  Podcast is called I Don't Speak German.
[00:10:25]  Cool.
[00:10:25]  Anyway, I couldn't find the book, but I did find some claims that are in the book in this article.
[00:10:32]  Adolf Hitler was a sexually confused serial killer whose violence was driven by lust.
[00:10:36]  In his new book, Mr. Volcker claims the Nazi leader had an orgasm while watching a film in which Austrian soldiers massacre French troops.
[00:10:44]  Now, this kind of story is a treat for me because I'd never heard of this particular Hitler story before.
[00:10:50]  I'm always looking out for some new H facts.
[00:10:54]  Quote, he quotes Marianne Hoppe, an actress who was an acquaintance of Hitler, describing a time that she went to the cinema in the dictator's Berlin Palace to watch a film called The Rebel.
[00:11:03]  It featured Austrian troops hurling boulders from a mountain onto the French below.
[00:11:07]  Hitler got some kind of thrill and rubbed his knees at this event as the stones rolled down on the French and groaned.
[00:11:13]  I don't know if he was crazy, but he got some kind of orgasm, she said.
[00:11:16]  I wanted to leave during the show.
[00:11:18]  The man was creepy.
[00:11:20]  Yeah, that's people gave Pee-Wee Herman a hard time.
[00:11:24]  People gave Pee-Wee Herman a hard time.
[00:11:26]  You know, Hitler, in the perspective.
[00:11:29]  Yeah, if you compare the two, Pee-Wee should get the statue.
[00:11:32]  I feel like Pee-Wee should have just been left to masturbate in that theater, but that's what that theater was for.
[00:11:36]  It's what that theater was for.
[00:11:37]  It's not like he was showing up at the cinemark to a showing.
[00:11:41]  Anyway, I've been unable to find an English translation.
[00:11:45]  But in this article, which apparently talked to the author, Pilgrim talks about how he suspects there's a connection between sexuality and violence in Hitler, and that his sexual excitement at the thought of violence gave him the desire to force men into killing.
[00:11:59]  He says, however, since this lust for killing is the decisive feature of serial killers, the question inevitably arises, was Hitler a serial killer who murdered for the purpose of his gratification?
[00:12:08]  Hitler's sexuality, I believe, drove the dictator into the most colossal annihilation that man has witnessed.
[00:12:14]  Now, that's this guy's claims.
[00:12:17]  Interesting premise.
[00:12:18]  Interesting premise.
[00:12:19]  I can see why a lot of people would want to believe that.
[00:12:21]  Yeah.
[00:12:22]  Mr. Pilgrim also speculates about Hitler's sex life, claiming he abstained from sexual relations with his mistress and then wife, Eva Brown.
[00:12:29]  Now, this all sounds, I think, to a lot of people, they might read this and be like, okay, well, this seems, you know, of course he was crazy.
[00:12:34]  Maybe that makes him just a serial killer who wound up in charge of a country.
[00:12:37]  Yeah.
[00:12:38]  I get why people would want to believe that.
[00:12:40]  I think what most people looking at that wouldn't dig into is kind of where the guy is basing his claims on.
[00:12:46]  And most of them come from a dude called Ernst Hanfstengel.
[00:12:50]  Other nickname was Pootsy.
[00:12:51]  And Ernst was a...
[00:12:53]  Classic Pootsy.
[00:12:53]  Classic Pootsy.
[00:12:55]  Ernst was a friend of Hitler's back in the day who then started hating him.
[00:13:01]  I'm sure that happened with a lot of Hitler's friends.
[00:13:02]  That happened to me.
[00:13:03]  We're not great at keeping friends.
[00:13:05]  Not super good at friends.
[00:13:06]  I'll be like, oh, God, do I have to keep answering this call?
[00:13:10]  I think that might surprise a lot of people.
[00:13:11]  Not a good friend.
[00:13:12]  Yeah.
[00:13:13]  Dictators in general, not great friends.
[00:13:15]  No, not so much.
[00:13:16]  Not they just take and they take and they take.
[00:13:18]  They take and they take and they take.
[00:13:19]  Some of them are fun to drink with.
[00:13:21]  Yeah.
[00:13:21]  Once or twice.
[00:13:22]  Yeah.
[00:13:22]  Like if I could go back in time and just see Stalin and all of his buddies, how drunk they, of course I would want to try.
[00:13:29]  I wouldn't want to be drunk around Hitler.
[00:13:30]  No.
[00:13:31]  But Hitler didn't get drunk.
[00:13:32]  He was a teetotaler, right?
[00:13:33]  He was a teetotaler.
[00:13:33]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:34]  I mean, he was on meth a lot, but that was a doctor giving it to him.
[00:13:36]  Yeah.
[00:13:37]  So he, yeah.
[00:13:38]  So he thought that he was being medicated.
[00:13:40]  He thought that, and that was, you know, we talk about that, and there's a great book called Blitzed about that.
[00:13:44]  Well, I'm sure we'll talk about it someday.
[00:13:45]  But like, that was mostly later in the war.
[00:13:47]  Like during his rise to power, he's sober.
[00:13:49]  Like every now and then you'll hear a story of him drinking like part of a glass of champagne, but he was like.
[00:13:54]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:55]  Which is, you know, control freaks and whatnot.
[00:13:59]  So I get the desire to like psychoanalyze Hitler, but going to Hampshtangle for like advice, because Hampstangl has for a long time been claiming that Hitler was basically a neuter, was like, couldn't get off, couldn't had like no sexual life.
[00:14:12]  Yeah.
[00:14:13]  Well, and that is a thing with a lot of serial killers where like they just can't come until they find the thing that makes them, right?
[00:14:19]  Yeah.
[00:14:20]  And if you think of Hitler as a serial killer, a lot of this stuff makes sense.
[00:14:25]  But I think what most people don't realize when they hear stories like this, about every year or two, there will be a new rash of Hitler's sex life stories that'll hit like kind of shadier but not entirely bullshit outlets and stuff.
[00:14:36]  And then every now and then someone like the New Yorker will give it a write-up or whatnot.
[00:14:40]  None of this is new in the field of Hitlerology.
[00:14:42]  And in fact, like all of these claims, any claim that you like read about in like a modern paper about like Hitler liking to poop on people or the possibility that Hitler was gay, all that stuff was kicking around in the 1930s.
[00:14:53]  Yeah.
[00:14:55]  So there's a lot of myths around this guy.
[00:14:59]  And so what I want to kind of do today is first give kind of an overview of the myths that people are still telling about Hitler and kind of the latest couple of waves of this.
[00:15:08]  And then we're going to do a really deep dive into his whole sexual history.
[00:15:13]  Okay.
[00:15:13]  His relationships, everything that there is about him in like reputable scholarship.
[00:15:19]  Geez, so if you if you and Hitler matched on Tinder and you wanted to Google him to find out what was really going on, this would be the episode to listen to.
[00:15:28]  This would be the episode to listen to.
[00:15:31]  And spoiler alert, don't date Hitler.
[00:15:33]  No.
[00:15:33]  Don't date Hitler.
[00:15:34]  No, don't.
[00:15:35]  Probably not going to go well.
[00:15:36]  Yeah.
[00:15:36]  So back in like March of 2016, I came across an article in the Daily Star with the title, Adolf Hitler was gay and loved teenage boys, CIA files claim.
[00:15:47]  There was also a New York Post article around the same time with the title, Adolf Hitler Had a Truly Disgusting Sexual Fetish.
[00:15:53]  It's equally emblematic of those types of articles.
[00:15:56]  These were all like spring of 2016 wave articles, and they were all based on a dossier, the OSS, which is like a precursor to the CIA put together.
[00:16:05]  Quote from the New York Post, the Nazi leader's bedroom habits included a love of poo sex, claims a dossier from the office of yeah, so which is what shit not dressing up like Winnie the Pooh.
[00:16:15]  Not dressing up like Winnie the Pooh.
[00:16:17]  And looking for honey.
[00:16:17]  Yeah, the intelligence document says that he liked women to stand over him and defecate because he was turned on by poo.
[00:16:23]  The New York Post keeps using the word poo instead of feces, which just doesn't seem like great journalism.
[00:16:28]  It also revealed the Fuhrer had a micropenis and, as the famous song suggests, only one testicle.
[00:16:33]  It also revealed he liked to be brutally kicked by women as part of his sex games.
[00:16:37]  So, again, this is always presented whenever it comes up in the media as new.
[00:16:42]  This is all older than your grandparents.
[00:16:43]  Yeah, this has been around forever.
[00:16:44]  It's been around forever.
[00:16:46]  Yeah, for sure.
[00:16:46]  This was the root of most of the salacious Hitler fuck myths is that infamous OSS report titled The Mind of Adolf Hitler.
[00:16:55]  It was compiled by a doctor named Langer and was initially a secret thing that was like written up as a brief for FDR at the start of World War II.
[00:17:03]  It's based on a lot of interviews and original documents, and the source book behind the paper, which is like all of the raw sources that they compiled to write this, is a gold mine of info.
[00:17:12]  But we should be really critical about the dossier itself.
[00:17:15]  It has to be taken with as much salt as you'd prescribe something written by a psychologist in the 1940s because it's filled with really debatable conclusions based on bad psychoanalytic theory.
[00:17:25]  I'm going to read you one excerpt where Dr. Langer tries to explain why Hitler always carried around a whip as a young man.
[00:17:31]  Quote, anyone who has ever seen Hitler talking in a bashful and puerile way to a woman would easily be led to believe that in marriage he would be the underdog.
[00:17:39]  But that is manifestly wrong.
[00:17:40]  It would seem that the whip plays some mysterious role in his relationship to women.
[00:17:44]  In Dr. Sedgwick's opinion, during the almost 15 years of association with Hitler, the whip with which Hitler loves to gesticulate figures as a kind of substitute or auxiliary symbol for his missing sexual potency.
[00:17:54]  All this wielding of the whip seems to be connected with a hidden desire on the part of Hitler for some state of erection which would overcome his fundamental sexual inferiority complex.
[00:18:03]  The truth is that Hitler is in all probability still in the stage of puberty and still in the essential meaning of the word, a virgin.
[00:18:11]  I want to take that guy to a Renfest.
[00:18:13]  Yes.
[00:18:14]  And just take a look around.
[00:18:16]  What do you make of this?
[00:18:17]  Yeah.
[00:18:17]  What do you think is going on here?
[00:18:20]  And when he references Dr. Sedgwick, that's Hans Stenkel.

=== Alois Hitler Genealogy (13:23) ===

[00:18:23]  Yeah.
[00:18:23]  This is again all based on that guy.
[00:18:25]  A lot of this is based on that guy's stuff.
[00:18:26]  But like, Hitler was definitely not a virgin in 1942.
[00:18:30]  No, For sure.
[00:18:32]  How old was he when he went into World War I?
[00:18:34]  Do you know?
[00:18:34]  He was in his mid-20s.
[00:18:36]  Yeah.
[00:18:36]  He was in the trenches the whole time.
[00:18:38]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:18:38]  Okay, I gotcha.
[00:18:40]  So probably not even a virgin at that point.
[00:18:42]  That's debatable.
[00:18:43]  We'll get into that a little bit.
[00:18:45]  So just as we kind of criticize that, whips were really common among German fascists to be used as weapons in street fights at this time.
[00:18:52]  And Hitler used his whip in street fights a lot.
[00:18:54]  He also used it to flirt with girls a lot.
[00:18:56]  So we'll talk about that some.
[00:18:58]  That's pretty cool.
[00:19:00]  It was pretty hardcore.
[00:19:01]  I love the idea of like a drive-by whipping back in the day.
[00:19:05]  It was more like a bunch of guys that would give speeches in these like beer halls because that's a big thing in German culture.
[00:19:10]  And like a bunch of anti-fascists would crowd around them and like they would start throwing bottles and fighting and like fucking Hitler would pull out his whip and start like swinging whips at people and stuff.
[00:19:19]  And you can fuck a dude up with that.
[00:19:20]  Yeah, you can.
[00:19:21]  Holy shit.
[00:19:22]  It's a good weapon if you're going to like beat on somebody in a bar.
[00:19:25]  Yeah.
[00:19:26]  Yeah.
[00:19:26]  And it worked for that purpose.
[00:19:28]  Man.
[00:19:28]  Give Antifa all the whips now.
[00:19:31]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:19:32]  I mean, they take a lot of training.
[00:19:34]  Oh, yeah.
[00:19:34]  Yeah.
[00:19:34]  Yeah.
[00:19:35]  I like Indiana Jones reclaiming the whip for the not fascist side of things.
[00:19:39]  Appreciate that.
[00:19:40]  I never heard the Hitler whip thing.
[00:19:41]  Hitler loved whips.
[00:19:43]  You're going to be hearing a lot about Hitler's whip today.
[00:19:45]  Okay, gotcha.
[00:19:46]  Yeah.
[00:19:46]  So anyway, because of all of this misinformation, because of all of these conclusions that people still trot out based on fucking 1940s psychoanalytic theory, I have gone through two different Hitler biographies.
[00:19:59]  The ones I consider probably the two best, John Totlin's and Ian Kershaw's, as well as a great book called Explaining Hitler that's like a synthesis of a bunch of different biographies.
[00:20:09]  And I've tried to present what I think is the most complete picture of the verifiable facts of Hitler's sex life.
[00:20:16]  So anyway, if we're going to understand how Hitler fucked and how people talk about how Hitler fucked, we have to start with Hitler's sexual prehistory.
[00:20:25]  Okay.
[00:20:26]  What we know about how his dad fucked.
[00:20:28]  Oh.
[00:20:29]  Or, to be more precise, who his dad fucked.
[00:20:32]  Ooh.
[00:20:33]  So.
[00:20:34]  Well, his mom, at least.
[00:20:35]  Definitely his mom.
[00:20:37]  That's a given.
[00:20:38]  At least twice, right?
[00:20:39]  Because he had a sister, a younger sister or something, right?
[00:20:41]  Yeah, I think she was a half-sister.
[00:20:43]  You know, I don't remember that off the top of my head.
[00:20:45]  His genealogy is very complicated.
[00:20:47]  Yeah.
[00:20:48]  So there was a younger girl.
[00:20:49]  There was a girl in a room in his house growing up.
[00:20:51]  Yeah, Paula Hitler.
[00:20:52]  He had a sister.
[00:20:53]  And he actually, like, one of the nice things Hitler did in his life is that as a younger man, he gave her his inheritance.
[00:20:58]  Okay.
[00:20:59]  And like wound up kind of on the street as a result of that because she had a kid and stuff.
[00:21:02]  Got it.
[00:21:03]  Okay.
[00:21:04]  So one thing we leave out a lot when we talk about Hitler's rise to power is the army of crusading journalists who fought a desperate battle to stop him from taking control.
[00:21:11]  They failed, obviously, and a lot of them died.
[00:21:13]  But for a while, their investigation scared Hitler.
[00:21:15]  More than anything, he was frightened that his family history would be exposed.
[00:21:18]  When he learned about one of the first of these investigations, he allegedly told a party member, people must not know who I am.
[00:21:24]  They must not know where I come from.
[00:21:26]  Whoa.
[00:21:27]  Now, there are a lot of different rumors as to why.
[00:21:29]  The most salacious rumor is that Hitler secretly had a Jewish background.
[00:21:34]  We don't know for certain who his father's father was.
[00:21:36]  His grandmother, Maria Schickelgruber, was a 42-year-old unmarried serving woman when she gave birth to his father, Alois, in 1836.
[00:21:45]  Some legends say a wealthy Jewish man or a nobleman impregnated her.
[00:21:48]  We don't know.
[00:21:49]  The church she was baptized in and the entire town where she was born, Dollarsheim, was obliterated by German artillery, probably on Hitler's orders in order to conceal his background.
[00:21:58]  Which is a serious warlord move right there.
[00:22:01]  Yeah.
[00:22:01]  I'll give it to you.
[00:22:02]  Erase the Schickelgruber's.
[00:22:04]  Yeah, get rid of that shit.
[00:22:07]  Grandma.
[00:22:08]  One of those things, one of those few places you'll catch a lot of really serious historians speculating is like, would it have even been possible for a guy with the last name Schickelgruber to have done the things that Hitler did?
[00:22:19]  Because it was kind of like chance that he wound up with the last name Hitler.
[00:22:22]  Like his dad adopted it from another guy who probably wasn't his dad.
[00:22:26]  It's a messy case.
[00:22:27]  Heidler was the original name, and then they changed it to Hitler.
[00:22:30]  I see.
[00:22:30]  Okay.
[00:22:31]  And I have trouble imagining Heil Schickelgruber working out.
[00:22:36]  Because people keep stumbling over it.
[00:22:37]  Yeah.
[00:22:38]  Schickelgruber?
[00:22:39]  It'd be like if Google had, if their name had been like question ask.
[00:22:43]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:22:45]  It just probably wouldn't have worked as well.
[00:22:46]  No, no, no.
[00:22:47]  It definitely would not.
[00:22:48]  Yeah.
[00:22:51]  So historians debate over the exact nature of the genealogy further back than Hitler's dad.
[00:22:57]  Maybe Hitler's dad was a bastard.
[00:22:58]  We know that at least.
[00:22:59]  Maybe.
[00:23:00]  We don't even know that much.
[00:23:02]  All of this is still debated.
[00:23:03]  Got it.
[00:23:04]  The odds that Hitler was ashamed of a secret Jewish person in his past, though, are lower than the odds that he was just worried people would find out his dad was gross.
[00:23:11]  Alois Hitler was a mid-level customs official in Braunau, Austria.
[00:23:15]  He'd been respected in the local community, but his middle management image belied the reality of a man who repeatedly married children.
[00:23:21]  Alois's sweet sweet.
[00:23:25]  There it is.
[00:23:25]  No one's wondering when pedophiles are going to be a part of the story.
[00:23:29]  They will be a part of this story all the way through.
[00:23:32]  How am I not surprised by that?
[00:23:35]  Great.
[00:23:35]  Nazis and gross sexual stuff?
[00:23:38]  Wow, yeah.
[00:23:39]  Everybody focuses on the possibility that there was poo sex.
[00:23:42]  The stuff that we know is so much grosser than pooping.
[00:23:45]  Like, that's whatever.
[00:23:46]  People who are perfectly fine can enjoy that sort of thing.
[00:23:49]  Yeah.
[00:23:50]  What we're talking about with Hitler and his dad, both cases, fucked up objectively.
[00:23:54]  Yeah, you can have consensual poo sex for nothing the matter with it.
[00:23:58]  It's whatever.
[00:23:59]  Just clean your own sheets.
[00:24:00]  Clean your own sheets or pay your cleaning lady incredibly well.
[00:24:04]  Yes, exactly.
[00:24:05]  I'm sure there's some people who'd take that job.
[00:24:08]  So Elois' first wife was much, much older than him, and she died after a few years of marriage.
[00:24:13]  Some of the rumors are that he married her for her money, which, whatever.
[00:24:17]  While Elois was married, but while his first wife was sick, he moved a 16-year-old girl into their home to be his serving maid.
[00:24:24]  This girl, Clara, was his niece.
[00:24:26]  Now, cool.
[00:24:28]  God, what a loser.
[00:24:30]  What a fucking loser.
[00:24:31]  Now, John Toland, who's one of the preeminent Hitler biographers of all times, says that Clara was hot, quote, with abundant dark hair.
[00:24:39]  He claims that she was, quote, installed with the Hitlers at an end where Alois was already carrying on an affair with the kitchen maid, Francisca.
[00:24:47]  So when Alois' first wife is alive, he's got this 16-year-old niece who he's hitting on, and also this like 17-year-old kitchen maid named Francisca, both of whom he's like starting up a thing with while his first wife is alive and dying.
[00:25:02]  So when his first wife died, Alois got her money and married Franziska.
[00:25:07]  I'm going to quote now from the fantastic book Explaining Hitler.
[00:25:10]  After his first wife died, developments in the Alois Hitler household began to take on the appearance of a maimed French farce.
[00:25:16]  After a period of living conjugally but without the benefit of clergy and with the kitchen maid, while simultaneously enjoying the services of the even younger maid and niece Clara, he married the older one.
[00:25:26]  Well, good for him.
[00:25:27]  Good for him picking that 17-year-old, not the 16-year-old, I guess.
[00:25:32]  How old is he at this point?
[00:25:33]  He is in his 40s.
[00:25:36]  Now, according to John Toland, Francisca was, quote, only too aware of how tempting a pretty maid could be to the susceptible Alois.
[00:25:44]  After the wedding, the first thing she did was get rid of Clara.
[00:25:47]  Luckily for Alois, his second wife soon died, allowing him to finally realize his true dream of marrying his teenage niece.
[00:25:54]  Wow.
[00:25:54]  Do you know how did Francesca ear?
[00:25:56]  It was cancer.
[00:25:57]  Oh, it was.
[00:25:57]  A lot of cancer in the Hitler family tree.
[00:25:59]  He was kind of scared about it his whole life.
[00:26:01]  Not enough.
[00:26:02]  Not enough cancer among the Hitlers.
[00:26:05]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:26:06]  Some juvenile leukemia would have really dealt with some problems for the world.
[00:26:10]  It would have been pretty great.
[00:26:12]  Not often I stand for juvenile leukemia, but for Hitler?
[00:26:16]  Get up in them bones.
[00:26:17]  Let's do it.
[00:26:18]  Get up in them bones.
[00:26:19]  Take it out.
[00:26:22]  So the only thing getting in the way of Alois Hitler and his true love with his teenage niece was the fact that they were very close relatives.
[00:26:30]  They officially share the same grand uncle, Johann Jorg Heidler.
[00:26:35]  Now, even in the late 1800s, marrying your teenage niece was sort of frowned upon.
[00:26:40]  Yeah.
[00:26:40]  Yeah.
[00:26:40]  I could see that.
[00:26:41]  This is not one of those things where, no, it was normal at the time.
[00:26:43]  Everybody's marrying their 16-year-old serving girl niece.
[00:26:47]  No.
[00:26:47]  Alois had to get special dispensation from the Pope to marry and continue fucking his niece.
[00:26:53]  He wanted to fuck his niece so bad, he got papal approval.
[00:26:56]  Oh my God.
[00:26:58]  That's Hitler's dad.
[00:27:02]  Just dear Pope.
[00:27:04]  Dear Pope.
[00:27:07]  My niece, you got to see this girl.
[00:27:09]  Yeah.
[00:27:10]  Let me send you a couple of pictures.
[00:27:12]  I drew some creatures together.
[00:27:14]  Just because you chose to be a celibate doesn't mean I need to be a celibate, and I'd like to break that with a child.
[00:27:20]  With a child.
[00:27:21]  Related to.
[00:27:22]  Related to and kind of morally responsible to.
[00:27:24]  Can I give a thumb?
[00:27:25]  Can I get a thumbs up?
[00:27:26]  Yeah, thumbs up, thumbs down.
[00:27:28]  What's Catholicism say?
[00:27:30]  And the Pope just said, go for it?
[00:27:31]  Go for it.
[00:27:32]  Yeah, Hitler's dad had official papal permission to fuck his niece.
[00:27:38]  All popes are great.
[00:27:39]  Popes have never done anything wrong.
[00:27:41]  What a great thing to exist, a pope.
[00:27:44]  Cool.
[00:27:45]  So Hitler was Catholic?
[00:27:46]  Or Hitler's family?
[00:27:47]  Oh, yeah.
[00:27:48]  Hitler didn't really give a shit.
[00:27:50]  I mean, he was a Hitlerist.
[00:27:51]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:27:52]  Like, technically, I guess on paper.
[00:27:54]  Yeah, and at that point in Austria, you're not going to not.
[00:27:58]  You got to be straight with the Catholic Church.
[00:28:00]  It's Austria.
[00:28:01]  It's Austria in the late 1800s.
[00:28:03]  How did this guy not get like the sin guilt shit worked into him?
[00:28:06]  I mean, he might have.
[00:28:07]  I assume there were a lot.
[00:28:08]  I assume there was talk.
[00:28:09]  I assume people were like, it's kind of fucked up, right?
[00:28:13]  I really feel so bad about fucking my niece child.
[00:28:15]  Well, I don't know if he did, but I'm going to guess people in town.
[00:28:19]  There were some like, but, you know, those people all died of typhus, you know, so we don't know what they were talking about.
[00:28:24]  Not enough typhus.
[00:28:25]  Not enough.
[00:28:26]  Just get rid of all them Austrians.
[00:28:32]  Okay.
[00:28:32]  So to make things even creepier, according to Ron Rosenbaum's explaining Hitler, quote, even after the Vatican granted the dispensation, Clara continued to call her new husband what she called him when she was still his maid mistress, uncle.
[00:28:44]  So Hitler's mom called his dad uncle the whole time Hitler was a kid.
[00:28:48]  That's worse than when parents call each other mother and father.
[00:28:52]  Yeah, that's grosser than that's like Mike Pence shit on another law.
[00:28:55]  Yeah.
[00:28:57]  Yeah.
[00:28:58]  My uncle.
[00:28:58]  Yeah, it's gross.
[00:28:59]  It's really gross.
[00:29:01]  Really fucking nasty.
[00:29:02]  Yeah.
[00:29:03]  This is the relationship Adolf Hitler was born into.
[00:29:06]  So I'm not going to say in fairness to Hitler because you don't give Hitler credit for anything because he's Hitler.
[00:29:11]  Yeah.
[00:29:12]  But as a baby, that's a rough situation to land in.
[00:29:16]  Yeah.
[00:29:16]  Yeah.
[00:29:16]  Also, this is some classic uncle bullshit.
[00:29:18]  Yeah.
[00:29:19]  You always got a good uncle and a bad uncle.
[00:29:21]  It's always like a bad uncle.
[00:29:22]  When you got a bad uncle, it's nothing worse than a bad uncle.
[00:29:25]  Hitler's dad was like the platonic ideal of a bad uncle.
[00:29:29]  The uncle that everyone's like, can he not come to Nazi?
[00:29:31]  Can we not have him around?
[00:29:33]  Please just cut that uncle out of everything.
[00:29:36]  Okay.
[00:29:37]  So Hitler's dad marries two women that Hitler biographer Ian Kershaw describes as young enough to be his children.
[00:29:43]  As a dad, he's remembered generally as a strict authoritarian figure, but most people who knew the family when his dad was alive say that Alois wasn't, you know, particularly violent or bad by the standards of the time towards his kid or his wife.
[00:29:55]  We would probably almost certainly call the discipline that Hitler endured child abuse today, but it was not out of the norm for the area.
[00:30:02]  And most of the boys in Austria who grew up around Hitler didn't grow up to be Hitler.
[00:30:05]  So you don't want to put too much influence on the fact that his dad was an authoritarian, but a lot of the boys around Hitler did grow up to be Nazis, so let's not discount the impact of authoritarian parenting either.
[00:30:16]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:17]  But it's probably not what we're looking for if we're looking for the whole reason Hitler went all crazy, the fact that his dad hit him sometimes.
[00:30:23]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:30:24]  It's like, that's not going to be, that doesn't, that's a real A to Z connection.
[00:30:28]  Yeah, yeah, exactly.
[00:30:29]  You're leaving out some stuff if you drop it down to that.
[00:30:32]  My uncle father.
[00:30:34]  My uncle father.
[00:30:35]  My uncle dad hit me.
[00:30:36]  My uncle daddy.
[00:30:38]  Jesus.
[00:30:40]  Oh, Hitler.
[00:30:41]  So we're going to dig into Hitler as a young man and his early love affairs.
[00:30:47]  Great.
[00:30:47]  And spoilers, they're as creepy as everything else in this podcast is going to be.
[00:30:52]  I'm not surprised.
[00:30:53]  If you thought Hitler the dad was bad.
[00:30:55]  No, yeah, there's no way like Hitler Adolf is like a Lothario coming from this place at all.
[00:31:02]  No, what's surprising is how much like Elliot Roger he is.
[00:31:05]  Oh, I'm not surprised by that.
[00:31:08]  How fucking coarse he is.
[00:31:10]  Oh, he's fucking losers.
[00:31:12]  He's fucking losers.
[00:31:13]  Oh, God, of course.
[00:31:15]  That is the overwhelming thing that you say to yourself when you get into some real deep study of the Nazis is these fucking losers.
[00:31:21]  All you can say.
[00:31:23]  He's fucking losers.
[00:31:25]  You know who's not losers, though, Brandy?
[00:31:26]  Who?
[00:31:27]  The wonderful sponsors who support this show and or program with their products and or services and or add petro dollar ad money.
[00:31:36]  I'm spinning out of control here.
[00:31:38]  Products!

=== Nazis Are Losers (02:02) ===

[00:31:46]  10-10 shots fired, city hall building.
[00:31:49]  A silver .40 caliber handgun was recovered at the scene.
[00:31:53]  From iHeart Podcasts and Best Case Studios, this is Rorschach, murder at City Hall.
[00:31:59]  How could this have happened in City Hall?
[00:32:01]  Somebody tell me that!
[00:32:02]  Jeffrey Hood did.
[00:32:03]  July 2003, Councilman James E. Davis arrives at New York City Hall with a guest.
[00:32:10]  Both men are carrying concealed weapons.
[00:32:13]  And in less than 30 minutes, both of them will be dead.
[00:32:21]  Everybody in the chamber deducts a shocking public murder.
[00:32:26]  I screamed, get down, get down.
[00:32:27]  Those are shots.
[00:32:28]  Those are shots.
[00:32:29]  Get down.
[00:32:29]  A charismatic politician.
[00:32:31]  You know, you just bent the rules all the time, man.
[00:32:33]  I still have a weapon.
[00:32:36]  And I could shoot you.
[00:32:39]  And an outsider with a secret.
[00:32:41]  He alleged you a victim of flat down.
[00:32:44]  That may or may not have been political.
[00:32:45]  That may have been about sex.
[00:32:47]  Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app.
[00:32:51]  Apple Podcasts are wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:33:00]  There's two golden rules that any man should live by.
[00:33:04]  Rule one, never mess with a country girl.
[00:33:08]  You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.
[00:33:10]  And rule two, never mess with her friends either.
[00:33:14]  We always say, trust your girlfriends.
[00:33:18]  I'm Anna Sinfield.
[00:33:19]  And in this new season of The Girlfriends...
[00:33:21]  Oh my God, this is the same man.
[00:33:23]  A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist.
[00:33:28]  I felt like I got hit by a truck.
[00:33:30]  I thought, how could this happen to me?
[00:33:32]  The cops didn't seem to care.
[00:33:34]  So they take matters into their own hands.
[00:33:37]  I said, oh, hell no.
[00:33:39]  I vowed I will be his last target.
[00:33:41]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[00:33:46]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[00:33:47]  Trust me, babe.

=== Phantom Con Artist Story (15:18) ===

[00:33:48]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:33:58]  Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back.
[00:34:04]  I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting.
[00:34:08]  Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.
[00:34:14]  Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name.
[00:34:23]  And this season, I've sat down with Alessia Cara, Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more.
[00:34:28]  Check out my new episode with Josh Grobin.
[00:34:32]  You related to the Phantom at that point.
[00:34:35]  Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
[00:34:36]  That's so funny.
[00:34:38]  Share each day with me each night, each morning.
[00:34:46]  Say you love me.
[00:34:49]  You know I.
[00:34:51]  So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to Playing Along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:34:58]  I'm Laurie Siegel, and on Mostly Human, I go beyond the headlines with the people building our future.
[00:35:04]  This week, an interview with one of the most influential figures in Silicon Valley, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.
[00:35:11]  I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to products we put out in the world.
[00:35:17]  From power to parenthood.
[00:35:19]  Kids, teenagers, I think they will need a lot of guardrails around AI.
[00:35:23]  This is such a powerful and such a new thing.
[00:35:25]  From addiction to acceleration.
[00:35:27]  The world we live in is a competitive world, and I don't think that's going to stop, even if you did a lot of redistribution.
[00:35:32]  You know, we have a deep desire to excel and be competitive and gain status and be useful to others.
[00:35:38]  And it's a multiplayer game.
[00:35:41]  What does the man who has extraordinary influence over our lives have to say about the weight of that responsibility?
[00:35:47]  Find out on Mostly Human.
[00:35:49]  My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI.
[00:35:52]  Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
[00:36:03]  We're back.
[00:36:04]  Whew, boy.
[00:36:05]  Love those products.
[00:36:06]  Hate Hitler.
[00:36:07]  Hate those guys.
[00:36:08]  Hate Hitler.
[00:36:09]  Exactly.
[00:36:10]  And there's nothing that's a squeegee for your brain, as well as a solid product or just a nice service, especially on like a hot Hitlerful day.
[00:36:17]  I just like being told the possibilities.
[00:36:19]  It's the possibilities.
[00:36:21]  You know what?
[00:36:21]  Nazis didn't like possibilities.
[00:36:23]  Of course not.
[00:36:24]  But that's what you get with products and services, is possibilities.
[00:36:27]  Yes.
[00:36:29]  A lot of good economic discourse coming out of this episode.
[00:36:32]  Yeah, absolutely.
[00:36:33]  We should write a book.
[00:36:35]  Let's write another Hitler book.
[00:36:36]  There aren't enough of them.
[00:36:37]  There should be a couple more Hitler books.
[00:36:41]  Okay.
[00:36:41]  So most of our...
[00:36:42]  What would Hitler think about Squarespace?
[00:36:44]  Yeah, why would Hitler think about Squarespace?
[00:36:47]  I don't like the free speech of the internet.
[00:36:50]  You know, I hate to say this because it's what I do to make my living, but Hitler would a thousand percent be a podcaster if he were around today.
[00:36:56]  Absolutely.
[00:36:57]  I mean, he like wrote at length about how the best way, the only real way to convince anyone of anything was with the human voice.
[00:37:03]  Yeah.
[00:37:03]  And like the power of like radio to isolate someone with a voice and to really influence their thought, which is one of the things that scares me about the podcast era, but we're getting a whole separate conversation.
[00:37:13]  Yeah, he would be like an Alex Jones type, but like with his own show.
[00:37:16]  Yeah, but like, yeah, he would be a lot more popular than Alex Jones.
[00:37:22]  Yeah, he would.
[00:37:22]  Because I don't think Alex has a problem saying the quiet parts loud.
[00:37:26]  And Hitler was up until the point where he took power, usually pretty good about quietly saying the loud parts.
[00:37:31]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:37:32]  Yeah.
[00:37:32]  Yeah, that makes sense.
[00:37:33]  I mean, that's why he won.
[00:37:34]  Yeah.
[00:37:35]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:37:35]  Yeah.
[00:37:36]  So most of our evidence for young Hitler's early love affairs comes from a dude named August Kubasek.
[00:37:42]  Now, Kubasek is a heavily debated figure amongst Hitler scholars.
[00:37:45]  He wrote a book about his childhood with Hitler after the war.
[00:37:49]  It apparently started during the Third Reich as a pro-Hitler, like Nazi biography.
[00:37:54]  And then after the war, he was like, well, I mean, I've already got this stuff down.
[00:37:57]  People are going to want to know what Hitler was like as a kid, so I'm going to write this book.
[00:38:01]  Some of what he says is definitely either a lie or stretching the truth.
[00:38:05]  There's a lot of debate over how much to trust him.
[00:38:07]  But it's also incontrovertible that he grew up with Hitler, that he was Hitler's really only friend as a kid, and that they lived together.
[00:38:13]  They were essentially like freshman college roommates in the big city.
[00:38:17]  So he, no one else has this perspective.
[00:38:21]  So Kubasek's book is an irreplaceable source for the early years of Hitler's life.
[00:38:24]  You can't under, like, you have to, you have to be critically read him.
[00:38:28]  Yeah.
[00:38:28]  You have to read him.
[00:38:29]  Yeah.
[00:38:30]  I've read Kubasek's book, of course, and it's really interesting if you do take it.
[00:38:33]  I would recommend reading like a John Toland or an Ian Kershaw biography first and then go into Kubasek so you've got some sort of context for it.
[00:38:41]  I'm going to be quoting from all three of these sources in the next little bit here because it provides, I think, a good synthesis.
[00:38:46]  And I trust those guys to separate probable truth from probable lie better than I trust myself.
[00:38:51]  Yeah.
[00:38:51]  Because they're elderly Hitler scholars and I'm just a Hitler nerd.
[00:38:55]  Anyway.
[00:38:55]  Perfect.
[00:38:56]  Kubasek recalls exactly one romantic focus for Hitler in his young years, a girl named Stephanie who lived in Linz.
[00:39:02]  That was the small town that he grew up in.
[00:39:05]  Now, Hitler was madly in love with Stephanie, and we have no evidence that she ever knew anything about him.
[00:39:09]  In fact, later in life, after the war, when she was told that Adolf Hitler had been in love with her, she was shocked and horrified, which is a dick move to tell anyone that.
[00:39:18]  Yeah.
[00:39:18]  Oh, man, what a bummer.
[00:39:21]  Because you're just like, am I responsible for it?
[00:39:24]  You get through this horrible war.
[00:39:25]  She was in Austria.
[00:39:27]  She saw some shit.
[00:39:27]  It would have been a nightmare for anyone living in that region.
[00:39:30]  You get through this horrible war, and then, like, years later, someone's like, by the way, Hitler wanted to fuck you.
[00:39:34]  What?
[00:39:35]  Why would you ever tell anybody that?
[00:39:37]  How do you process that?
[00:39:38]  Is that baby Hitler popping boners to you?
[00:39:40]  Don't tell her that.
[00:39:42]  Yeah, because then that just makes you just rethink everything about yourself.
[00:39:45]  Is this my fault?
[00:39:46]  Yeah.
[00:39:47]  Oh, God.
[00:39:48]  No, Stephanie, you didn't.
[00:39:49]  Definitely not.
[00:39:49]  You didn't do anything wrong.
[00:39:50]  Stephanie.
[00:39:51]  I mean, you've been dead for decades, but you seem fine.
[00:39:54]  You're listening somewhere.
[00:39:55]  Yeah.
[00:39:55]  We get a medium.
[00:39:56]  You should be doing this podcast with a medium to contact some of these people and be like, hey, it's okay.
[00:40:03]  Yeah.
[00:40:03]  It's going to be fine.
[00:40:04]  Yeah.
[00:40:04]  That's actually similar to another podcast idea I have, which is using a medium to sexually harass dead bastards.
[00:40:12]  I really just want to see how uncomfortable I can make Chairman Mao.
[00:40:15]  Oh, yeah.
[00:40:16]  Yeah.
[00:40:16]  Like really, really get in there and like lock his ghost in a room.
[00:40:20]  Yeah.
[00:40:20]  Yeah.
[00:40:21]  See where it goes.
[00:40:22]  I am 100% on board for that.
[00:40:24]  I think we all are.
[00:40:26]  Absolutely.
[00:40:26]  So if you want us.
[00:40:29]  So Hitler was in love with this girl who knew nothing about him.
[00:40:33]  He became convinced.
[00:40:34]  And this is while they're in like elementary school, essentially, like early high school era, that kind of thing.
[00:40:39]  Like he's a teenager, young teenager.
[00:40:41]  So during this.
[00:40:42]  I know that's.
[00:40:43]  Oh, yeah.
[00:40:44]  I was in a marching band.
[00:40:45]  I had one of these kids.
[00:40:46]  I know exactly who this is.
[00:40:48]  I don't know if there's a woman I've met who didn't have one of these kids in their life.
[00:40:51]  That's one of the, yeah, anyway.
[00:40:52]  So Hitler became convinced that Stephanie was sending him secret signals and messages only he could see.
[00:40:59]  And he would destined to be together.
[00:41:02]  He would rant about all this to Kubasek.
[00:41:03]  And Kubasek claims he was pretty questioning of all this stuff to Hitler, but like only to an extent.
[00:41:09]  Kubasek did try to convince Hitler that he needed to at least talk to this girl if there was going to be any hope of her liking him.
[00:41:16]  At the very least.
[00:41:16]  At the very least, he suggested that Hitler should learn to dance because he knew that Stephanie liked dancing, which is like solid advice.
[00:41:22]  Like, okay, get interested in something this girl's interested in.
[00:41:26]  Have a similar interest.
[00:41:27]  Have a similar interest.
[00:41:28]  Pretty solid advice today.
[00:41:30]  Okay.
[00:41:30]  So here's Kubasek.
[00:41:31]  Quote, All this is no good, Adolf, I replied.
[00:41:34]  Stephanie is fond of dancing.
[00:41:35]  If you want to conquer her, you will have to dance around just as aimlessly and idiotically as the others.
[00:41:40]  That was all that was needed to set him off raving.
[00:41:42]  No, no, never, he screamed at me.
[00:41:44]  I shall never dance.
[00:41:45]  Do you understand?
[00:41:46]  Stephanie only dances because she is forced to by society on which she unfortunately depends.
[00:41:50]  Once she is my wife, she won't have the slightest desire to dance.
[00:41:55]  That is.
[00:41:56]  And Kubasek's book's a generally pretty pro-Hitler book.
[00:41:59]  Like, not pro the stuff Hitler did is like he's obviously against the Third Reich, but like he presents a sympathetic view of Hitler, and this is how he describes it.
[00:42:07]  Wow.
[00:42:07]  What a, I mean, what a little maniac.
[00:42:11]  It isn't even a thesaurus for the word loser.
[00:42:13]  It's truly insane.
[00:42:14]  Like, no, I'll never dance.
[00:42:16]  She'll stop dancing.
[00:42:18]  She'll stop dancing too.
[00:42:19]  Oh, she's not even dancing because she wants to.
[00:42:21]  Just society.
[00:42:24]  It sounds like a Reddit post.
[00:42:26]  No, it totally.
[00:42:27]  Suddenly sounds like a Reddit post.
[00:42:28]  He'd be top dog Reddit.
[00:42:30]  He would be.
[00:42:31]  He'd love Reddit.
[00:42:32]  He would be so addicted to Slash Pole.
[00:42:35]  He would never get off of that fucking shit.
[00:42:36]  He'd be an 8-chan.
[00:42:38]  He'd be deep into this shit.
[00:42:39]  He really would be.
[00:42:42]  Oh, God.
[00:42:43]  I'm not going to learn to dance.
[00:42:44]  I'm not going to learn to dance.
[00:42:45]  Never.
[00:42:46]  I shall never dance.
[00:42:48]  Adolf Hitler.
[00:42:49]  There's your fucking t-shirt.
[00:42:51]  Guilty feet ain't got no rhythm.
[00:42:53]  Oh, shit.
[00:42:54]  Yeah.
[00:42:54]  Nice.
[00:42:56]  Oh, boy.
[00:42:58]  What are the good songs?
[00:43:00]  They always get it right.
[00:43:01]  So exactly.
[00:43:02]  This is actually about Hitler.
[00:43:04]  It is about all music is about Hitler, one way or the other.
[00:43:07]  Yep.
[00:43:07]  That's my theory.
[00:43:08]  We'll talk about Toto's Africa.
[00:43:12]  It's a stretch, but I'll get you there.
[00:43:15]  I got a diagram.
[00:43:16]  I got a diagram.
[00:43:17]  It's about the desert fox.
[00:43:20]  Now, obviously, waiting around and being an insane person did not woo Stephanie.
[00:43:25]  Gradually, Hitler started to realize that she wasn't going to fall to him.
[00:43:28]  According to Kubasek, Hitler reacted like you'd expect a modern-day incel to react with threats of violence.
[00:43:34]  Of course.
[00:43:35]  Quote: Stephanie was at that time in an unfriendly mood.
[00:43:38]  She would pass the basically nearby road with her face averted as though Hitler did not exist at all.
[00:43:42]  This brought him to the verge of despair.
[00:43:44]  I can't stand it any longer, he exclaimed.
[00:43:46]  I will make an end of it.
[00:43:47]  It was the first, and as far as I know, the last time that Adolf contemplated suicide seriously.
[00:43:52]  It was not.
[00:43:53]  He would jump into the river from the Danube Bridge, he told me, and then it would be over and done with.
[00:43:57]  But Stephanie would have to die with him.
[00:43:59]  He insisted on that.
[00:44:00]  Once more, a plan was thought up in all its details.
[00:44:03]  Every single phase of the horrifying tragedy was minutely described, including the part I would have to play.
[00:44:08]  Even my conduct as the sole survivor was ordained.
[00:44:11]  The somber scene was with me, even in my dreams.
[00:44:15]  Young Hitler!
[00:44:16]  Oh, God, just the most emo little shit.
[00:44:20]  Wants to kill himself and a girl who doesn't know him.
[00:44:22]  Oh my God.
[00:44:23]  Had he even talked to her at this point?
[00:44:25]  No.
[00:44:26]  As far as we know, he never said a word to her.
[00:44:28]  Oh, my God.
[00:44:30]  I just.
[00:44:32]  You can't hate him more, but you find new depths of, yeah, like Hitler.
[00:44:39]  I was like, oh, here's a new cavity of hate to heaven filled for you.
[00:44:42]  I didn't expect this.
[00:44:43]  God, you fucking loser.
[00:44:45]  You fucking loser.
[00:44:47]  You just know that he's a loser, and then that's just like, from this age, too, you're like, oh, God, just go to a Toastmasters class or something, you piece of shit.
[00:44:54]  This is part of why I get all frustrated when people are like, he was a sexual serial killer.
[00:44:58]  And that's why.
[00:44:58]  No, dude, he was just a lame-ass dude.
[00:45:01]  He is for sure like an incel MRA.
[00:45:04]  Yeah.
[00:45:05]  I am old.
[00:45:06]  I am old this woman, and she doesn't deserve to live if she doesn't like me, even though I've never even talked to her.
[00:45:12]  Like, were his parents together his entire life?
[00:45:14]  His dad died when he was, you know, in his teens, and his mom died, and not all that.
[00:45:18]  I mean, his dad died when he was pretty young, and his mom died also when he was pretty young, like a young adult.
[00:45:22]  So I don't think he had...
[00:45:24]  His dad was pretty authoritarian, but once his dad kicked off, it was kind of just his mom, and she was sort of, he was a mama's boy.
[00:45:31]  She was sort of a doting mom.
[00:45:32]  Was that Clara?
[00:45:33]  Yeah, Clara Hitler.
[00:45:34]  Clara Hitler.
[00:45:35]  Yeah.
[00:45:35]  Yeah, Adolf Hitler's mom was Clara.
[00:45:38]  Okay, okay, I see.
[00:45:39]  Gotcha.
[00:45:39]  Yeah.
[00:45:39]  So he's born in incest.
[00:45:42]  And then his dad dies and then he's raised weight.
[00:45:44]  Okay, gotcha.
[00:45:45]  Yeah, cool.
[00:45:46]  So, outside of his obsession with Stephanie, Kubisek says he doesn't know of any individual women in Hitler's life in this period.
[00:45:53]  Certainly no one he might have fucked.
[00:45:55]  When they became young adults and moved to Vienna together, Hitler remained unlaid.
[00:45:59]  Here's John Toland's coverage of Kubisek's recollection.
[00:46:01]  Quote: On promenades, girls and women would often slyly glance at them.
[00:46:06]  At first, Kubisek thought their interest was directed to him, but it soon became apparent that the reserved Adolf was the object.
[00:46:11]  He coldly ignored their silent invitations.
[00:46:13]  If the two did nothing about sex, they spent hours at night discussing women, love, and marriage, with Adolf as usual dominating the conversation.
[00:46:20]  Over and over, he insisted that he must keep the flame of life pure.
[00:46:24]  That is, he believed, in accordance with his Catholic upbringing.
[00:46:27]  A man and a woman should keep themselves chaste in body and soul until marriage and just thus be worthy of producing healthy children for the nation.
[00:46:34]  But the dark side of sex also haunted him, and he talked by the hour about depraved sexual customs.
[00:46:40]  He railed against prostitution, condemning not only the whores and their customers, but society.
[00:46:44]  His condemnation approached obsession, and one night after attending a performance of Wedekin's Spring Awakening, he took Gustel's arm and said, We must see this sink of iniquity once.
[00:46:53]  They turned down a small dark alley.
[00:46:55]  It was the Spittelberg Gasse, and walked past a row of small hostels so brightly lit that they could see the girls inside.
[00:47:01]  In their scanty and slovenly attire, they sat there, recalled Kubasek, making up their faces and combing their hair and looking at themselves in the mirror, without, however, for one moment losing sight of the men strolling by.
[00:47:11]  Occasionally, a man would stop in front of a house, converse with a girl, and the light would go out.
[00:47:16]  When the two youths reached the end of the alley, Adolf maneuvered them in an about face and they took another long look at the appalling sight.
[00:47:22]  Back in their room, Adolf went into a lengthy tirade on the evils of prostitution with, quote, a cold objectivity as though it were a question of his attitude towards the fight against tuberculosis or towards cremation.
[00:47:32]  Wow.
[00:47:33]  So this is young Hitler, a celibate, angry about other people not being celibate, and a real thought-audit-level hatred of sex workers.
[00:47:44]  He is gallons of cum in his sleep at this point in his life.
[00:47:52]  I mean, every fucking night.
[00:47:54]  What a shitty little his socks shatter when they're dropped.
[00:47:59]  No, seriously.
[00:48:00]  I cannot imagine how many fucking wet dreams this dude is having constantly.
[00:48:06]  And they're all about the stuff that he says is terrible.
[00:48:08]  Yeah.
[00:48:08]  Because that's why you rant about this for hours to your best friend.
[00:48:12]  He's like concealing an erection as he yells about prostitution.
[00:48:15]  I can't believe this prostitutes are just out there trying to make a living of any kind in this world.
[00:48:20]  Again, we all knew a Hitler.
[00:48:23]  We've all known this kid.
[00:48:24]  Oh, God.
[00:48:25]  No, absolutely.
[00:48:26]  Oh, God.
[00:48:27]  Yeah.
[00:48:27]  He's like the one that he's like, that's like one of the names that you text the other people you went to high school with that you just laugh about when you hear their name.
[00:48:34]  Yeah, like, remember that guy?
[00:48:35]  Oh, fuck.
[00:48:36]  Yeah.
[00:48:36]  Yeah.
[00:48:36]  Oh, that guy.
[00:48:37]  Yeah.
[00:48:39]  God.
[00:48:40]  So Hitler's mom died like right before this point of like a really, really horrifying cancer.
[00:48:45]  And then, you know, he wound up in Vienna with Kubasek, which is where that happened.
[00:48:49]  They lived together for a while, but Kubasek was successful, like he was a really good musician.
[00:48:54]  And Hitler, you know, didn't get into art school.
[00:48:56]  That's a pretty famous story.
[00:48:57]  He eventually ran out of money and wound up living in a men's home, which was essentially like a homeless shelter for vagrants.
[00:49:03]  According to Ian Kershaw, being homeless did not improve Hitler's game.

=== Hitler Vienna Struggles (05:36) ===

[00:49:07]  Yeah, I can't imagine that it would.
[00:49:10]  No.
[00:49:11]  Quote.
[00:49:12]  To be fair, a home wouldn't have improved his game either.
[00:49:15]  It seems like he was kind of hopeless either way.
[00:49:17]  Yeah, I don't know if either way would have helped him.
[00:49:18]  Yeah.
[00:49:20]  Quote, when his circle of acquaintances got around to discussing women and doubtless their own former girlfriends and sexual experiences, the best Hitler could come up with was a veiled reference to Stephanie, who had been his first love, though she never knew it because he never told her.
[00:49:31]  The impression left with Reinhold Heinisch was that Hitler had very little respect for the female sex, but very austere ideas about relations between men and women.
[00:49:39]  Hainisch recalled Hitler telling him of a brief encounter with a milkmaid while he was still at school, ending abruptly when she made advances and he ran away, knocking over a churn of milk in his haste.
[00:49:47]  This was probably a lie by Hitler.
[00:49:49]  Hitler described his own ideal woman as cuddle is a cute, cuddly, naive little thing, tender, sweet, and stupid.
[00:49:56]  Cool.
[00:49:57]  Cool.
[00:49:58]  That's great.
[00:49:59]  You want a fucking baby.
[00:50:01]  You peaceful.
[00:50:02]  I mean, yes, it runs in his blood.
[00:50:04]  It does run in his blood.
[00:50:06]  Yeah.
[00:50:06]  Oh, God.
[00:50:07]  It's going to be weird how much it runs in his blood.
[00:50:09]  Yeah.
[00:50:10]  But first.
[00:50:26]  A silver .40 caliber handgun was recovered at the scene.
[00:50:30]  From iHeart Podcasts and Best Case Studios.
[00:50:34]  This is Rorschach.
[00:50:35]  Murder at City Hall.
[00:50:36]  How could this have happened in City Hall?
[00:50:38]  Somebody tell me that.
[00:50:39]  Jeffrey Hood did.
[00:50:40]  I love you.
[00:50:41]  July 2003.
[00:50:42]  Councilman James E. Davis arrives at New York City Hall with a guest.
[00:50:47]  Both men are carrying concealed weapons.
[00:50:50]  And in less than 30 minutes, both of them will be dead.
[00:50:59]  Everybody in the chambers adopts a shocking public murder.
[00:51:03]  I scream, get down, get down.
[00:51:05]  Those are shots.
[00:51:06]  Those are shots.
[00:51:06]  Get down.
[00:51:07]  A charismatic politician.
[00:51:08]  You know, he just bent the rules all the time, man.
[00:51:11]  I still have a weapon.
[00:51:13]  And I could shoot you.
[00:51:16]  And an outsider with a secret.
[00:51:18]  He alleged he was a victim of flat down.
[00:51:21]  That may or may not have been political.
[00:51:23]  That may have been about sex.
[00:51:25]  Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app.
[00:51:28]  Apple Podcasts are wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:51:38]  There's two golden rules that any man should live by.
[00:51:42]  Rule one, never mess with a country girl.
[00:51:45]  If you play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.
[00:51:48]  And rule two, never mess with her friends either.
[00:51:51]  We always say, trust your girlfriends.
[00:51:55]  I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of The Girlfriends...
[00:51:59]  Oh my god, this is the same man.
[00:52:01]  A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist.
[00:52:06]  I felt like I got hit by a truck.
[00:52:08]  I thought, how could this happen to me?
[00:52:09]  The cops didn't seem to care.
[00:52:11]  So they take matters into their own hands.
[00:52:14]  I said, oh, hell no.
[00:52:16]  I vowed I will be his last target.
[00:52:18]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[00:52:23]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[00:52:25]  Trust me, babe.
[00:52:26]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:52:36]  I'm Lori Siegel, and on Mostly Human, I go beyond the headlines with the people building our future.
[00:52:41]  This week, an interview with one of the most influential figures in Silicon Valley, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.
[00:52:48]  I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to products we put out in the world.
[00:52:55]  From power to parenthood.
[00:52:57]  Kids, teenagers, I think they will need a lot of guardrails around AI.
[00:53:00]  This is such a powerful and such a new thing.
[00:53:02]  From addiction to acceleration.
[00:53:05]  The world we live in is a competitive world, and I don't think that's going to stop.
[00:53:07]  Even if you did a lot of redistribution, you know, we have a deep desire to excel and be competitive and gain status and be useful to others.
[00:53:16]  And it's a multiplayer game.
[00:53:18]  What does the man who has extraordinary influence over our lives have to say about the weight of that responsibility?
[00:53:24]  Find out on Mostly Human.
[00:53:26]  My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI.
[00:53:29]  Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
[00:53:37]  Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back.
[00:53:43]  I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting.
[00:53:48]  Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.
[00:53:54]  Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name.
[00:54:03]  And this season, I've sat down with Alessia Cara, Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more.
[00:54:08]  Check out my new episode with Josh Grobin.
[00:54:11]  You related to the Phantom at that point.
[00:54:14]  Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
[00:54:16]  That's so funny.
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[00:54:30]  So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to Playing Along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:54:40]  We're back.
[00:54:42]  Okay.

=== Nazi Homosexuality Debates (15:41) ===

[00:54:43]  So, Hitler also claimed during this period that women would inherently, quote, rather bow to a strong man than dominate a weakling.
[00:54:50]  Even for the time, young Hitler was seen as a bit of a prude.
[00:54:53]  This meant he didn't fit in super well in Turn of the Century Vienna, where erotic art was in vogue and people were starting to do the 1909 version of opening up a little bit.
[00:55:02]  Well, it's because he's just like popping boners all over the place.
[00:55:05]  Just popping.
[00:55:06]  Everyone could see him.
[00:55:07]  His leader hosen's just like a fucking arrow.
[00:55:09]  Yeah.
[00:55:10]  Just like constantly, just like very sweaty and pink with like a giant buster.
[00:55:15]  Angry, erect, terrible artist screaming at everybody and talking about how it's bad to come.
[00:55:22]  Constantly.
[00:55:23]  Hitler.
[00:55:24]  Like, oh, God.
[00:55:25]  You nerd.
[00:55:27]  Ugh.
[00:55:29]  So, one of the things that was happening in Vienna at this time, the turn of the century, is that rules about women's modesty had started to change.
[00:55:36]  And women were allowed to.
[00:55:38]  I mean, we're not talking like woke by our standards, but things are improving.
[00:55:41]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:55:42]  You know, things are improving, and some women are pushing the envelope, both professionally and in just how they present themselves to the world.
[00:55:48]  Young Hitler did not like that.
[00:55:50]  Of course.
[00:55:51]  Here's an excerpt from Kershaw's book again: quote, where decency demanded that women were scarcely allowed to even show an ankle, Hitler's embarrassment and the rapidity with which he fled with his friend when a prospective landlady during a search for a room for Kubasek let her silk dressing gown fall open to reveal that she was wearing nothing but a pair of knickers.
[00:56:08]  But his prudishness went far beyond this.
[00:56:10]  It amounted, according to Kubasek's account, to a deep disgust and repugnance at sexual activity.
[00:56:14]  Hitler avoided contact with women, meeting with cold indifference during visits to the opera, alleged attempts by young women, probably seeing him as something of an oddity, to flirt with or tease him.
[00:56:23]  He was repelled by homosexuality.
[00:56:25]  He refrained from masturbation.
[00:56:26]  Prostitution horrified but fascinated him.
[00:56:29]  He associated it with venereal disease, which petrified him.
[00:56:33]  So it is, again, hard to say how much of Kubasek's account is true.
[00:56:37]  If Hitler was originally super anti-gay, for example, he definitely got over that shit by the time he was out of the army.
[00:56:43]  Ernst Röhm, the head of the Brown Shirts, was a flamboyantly gay man who was flagrant about his love life.
[00:56:48]  Hitler did eventually kill Rome, but only after he was in power.
[00:56:52]  And some accounts say he resisted doing so for a very long time and expressed angst over the decision.
[00:56:57]  Basically, Rome wanted to replace the German army with the brown shirts, and that's why Hitler had to get rid of him.
[00:57:01]  And there was definitely like he was willing to kill him because he was gay and he was seen as like a liability.
[00:57:06]  But Hitler wasn't inherently against the idea of working with like he sees it.
[00:57:10]  Seems like he moderated on that during his time in the army, at least from like a one point of view or another.
[00:57:16]  There's debate about how much.
[00:57:18]  But one thing that didn't change from Kubasek's memory of him was Hitler's obsession with venereal disease.
[00:57:23]  The subject came up frequently in Mein Kampf and in Hitler's early speeches.
[00:57:27]  He generally like would compare the Jewish refugees immigrating to the country as like a form of venereal disease.
[00:57:32]  I see.
[00:57:33]  And there was a lot of anti-Semitic claims that Jewish prostitutes were spreading typhus.
[00:57:37]  And there's actually a rumor that Hitler himself got syphilis from a prostitute sometime and like when he was a young adult.
[00:57:43]  Simon Wiesenthal, the famed Nazi hunter, went to his grave believing this, even though there's no good evidence about it.
[00:57:48]  There's a lot of weird questions as to why people, someone like Wiesenthal, who's a Holocaust survivor himself, would be so much like into wanting to believe this.
[00:57:57]  I mean, I get that, though.
[00:57:58]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:57:59]  You kind of want to like a reason.
[00:58:00]  And he had syphilis.
[00:58:03]  It's also, there's like some weird, a lot of the attempts to explain Hitler kind of come across as blaming a single Jewish person for his hatred of Jewish people, which is really problematic.
[00:58:12]  Yeah, that's an issue.
[00:58:13]  Yeah.
[00:58:14]  Kubasek, for his part, always claimed that Hitler was, to the best of his knowledge, a normal dude sexually, not homosexual, not into anything weird, just like kind of a sexually frustrated young man.
[00:58:28]  Kubasek was so emphatic about that because by the 1950s when he was working on his book, there were numerous rumors that Hitler had been gay.
[00:58:35]  This conspiracy theory is best embodied by the book The Pink Swastika from 1995.
[00:58:40]  That book was a major source for Denise de Souza documentary where Denish claims that Democrats are the modern Nazis and that gay people are Nazis.
[00:58:48]  And Hitler was gay is a regular headline in far-right publications.
[00:58:52]  I found one on Breitbart from 2016 that just said, new evidence from his doctors shows Hitler was gay.
[00:58:58]  Obviously, it's not new evidence.
[00:58:59]  It's just, it's the old OSS reports that suggested Hitler was homosexual.
[00:59:03]  Of course.
[00:59:05]  In the OSS document, Dr. Langer wrote, quote, his sex life is as dual as a political outlook.
[00:59:09]  He is both a homosexual and heterosexual, both socialist and fervent nationalist, both man and woman.
[00:59:14]  Again, that's just like psychoanalytic bullshit.
[00:59:17]  There's no evidence that he was homosexual.
[00:59:19]  He was okay with working with gay men.
[00:59:21]  Yeah.
[00:59:21]  But like, there's no evidence beyond that.
[00:59:24]  It's like, yeah.
[00:59:25]  One of the things that's interesting to me is when you read a lot of like the old 1930s and late 20s news articles criticizing Hitler, a lot of these like 1920s German journalists, some of whom are conservative when they're talking about like homosexuality within the Nazi party, go out of their way to not condemn homosexuality, to just be like that we're condemning the Nazis because their attitudes on homosexuality are so negative, but they have all these gay members.
[00:59:50]  Which is more nuanced than I expected out of like 1920s journalists in Germany.
[00:59:54]  That's very interesting.
[00:59:55]  Well, it does make a lot of sense, though, because it's like, I mean, coming after World War I, you're in the trenches with men and you need some kind of comfort to.
[01:00:04]  Probably a lot of dudes fucking in World War I.
[01:00:06]  Sure.
[01:00:07]  Yeah, just to feel like you're a person and not just part of a meat grinder.
[01:00:11]  Yeah.
[01:00:12]  You know, so it's like, I'm sure that definitely, you know.
[01:00:15]  It was part of why attitudes started to open up right until the Nazis clammed them shut again.
[01:00:19]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:00:20]  Now, just so we cover the basics of Hitler's life here, Hitler served in World War I, obviously.
[01:00:24]  He was at the front basically the entire war.
[01:00:26]  There are rumors, as we covered in our Children of Dictators episode, that he fathered a son with a French woman during this time.
[01:00:32]  This is very much doubted by historians.
[01:00:36]  The kind of thing you can't 100% debunk.
[01:00:39]  But for what it's worth, the son of the guy who thought he was Hitler's son says that Hitler was a gentle lover to his grandma.
[01:00:45]  I don't know what that's based on.
[01:00:48]  Seems like a reach.
[01:00:50]  It seems like a weird flex, too.
[01:00:51]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:00:53]  A gentle love.
[01:00:54]  Here's the thing.
[01:00:55]  I don't even know.
[01:00:57]  I feel like he would be just like a petrified guy that would like come really quickly.
[01:01:01]  I'm going to guess that is more accurate.
[01:01:02]  Yeah, that feels way like, yeah, he's probably all fucking talk, and then he's just like, oh, okay, sorry.
[01:01:08]  Yeah.
[01:01:08]  Oh, no.
[01:01:09]  He says, I'm sorry when he comes.
[01:01:12]  That's the Hitler.
[01:01:13]  Yep.
[01:01:15]  Now, when Hitler got back from World War I, he was sent by his military superiors to infiltrate a meeting of the National Socialist Political Party.
[01:01:23]  And yeah, you know the rest, more or less.
[01:01:25]  He started giving speeches there, became a figure in the National Socialist Party, consolidated power, and plotted his, you know, not quite meteoric, but eventually total rise to power.
[01:01:35]  Now, we don't have a whole lot on Hitler's sexuality during the early 1920s or his relationships.
[01:01:41]  Hans Fdel is one of the main sources for the claims that Hitler might have been gay.
[01:01:46]  And he said stuff like this, quote, obvious prostitutes barely admitted to the Kaiserhof Hotel were fervently admired by him, provided that they appeared in couples or with a man.
[01:01:55]  A solitary woman is usually ignored by him unless he is in a large crowd and can send in someone to find out her identity.
[01:02:02]  He always wishes to be a spectator.
[01:02:04]  Do you know, he once said to Dr. Sedgwick in 1923, the audience at the circus is just like a woman, someone who does not understand that intrinsically feminine character of the mass will never be an effective speaker.
[01:02:14]  Ask yourself, what does a woman expect from a man?
[01:02:16]  Clearness, decision, power, action.
[01:02:19]  Like a woman, the masses fluctuate between extremes.
[01:02:21]  What we want is to get the masses to act.
[01:02:23]  This can obviously not be done with an appeal to their selfishness nor to their cowardice, but by an appeal to their idealism, their courage, and their spirit of sacrifice.
[01:02:30]  Who has more of the spirit of sacrifice than a woman?
[01:02:33]  If she is talked to properly, she will be proud to sacrifice because no woman will ever feel that her life's sacrifices have received their dual fulfillment.
[01:02:40]  That's Hitler analyzing the German people.
[01:02:43]  And interesting.
[01:02:45]  Yeah.
[01:02:46]  You know, just what a first date.
[01:02:48]  What a first date.
[01:02:49]  Hansdengel claims to have asked him once, why don't you marry?
[01:02:52]  And he says Hitler answered, quote, marriage is not for me and never will be.
[01:02:56]  My only bride is my motherland.
[01:02:58]  Then seemingly with no sequence of ideas, he added, there are two ways in which a man's character may be judged by the woman he marries and by the way he dies.
[01:03:06]  In 1923, when Hanstangle once playfully said, if not a bride, you ought to have a mistress, Hitler replied, politics is a woman.
[01:03:12]  He who loves her unhappily bites off his head.
[01:03:15]  So, this is one of the versions of Hitler you get that he's just too busy being the embodiment of Germany to flirt with ladies.
[01:03:24]  What a piece of shit.
[01:03:26]  I think in this stage he continues that line the rest of his life.
[01:03:29]  I think in this stage, it's not true, but he's not actually dating around that much.
[01:03:33]  I think in this stage, he's still too awkward.
[01:03:35]  He starts to have success with women when he gets popular.
[01:03:39]  Yeah, when he starts getting some power.
[01:03:40]  Yeah.
[01:03:40]  Because then it's not about him.
[01:03:41]  It's about the mythic thing that he's created.
[01:03:45]  And in that case, he keeps saying that out loud and hiding his relationships with women, but he's also fucking some people.
[01:03:51]  So anyway, that's the way this goes.
[01:03:55]  So it's hard, basically impossible to say when Hitler lost his virginity.
[01:03:58]  We do have one spectacular example of Hitler striking out with a lady.
[01:04:01]  It happened in 1923, right before Hitler's famous beer hall Putsch, when they were at Berchtesgarten.
[01:04:07]  Now, the story is related by Honstangl, who had come to visit Hitler in Berchtesgarten on invitation, but Hitler didn't own a house there or anything at that point.
[01:04:15]  They were all staying in a hotel.
[01:04:18]  The manager of the hotel was a guy named Herr Buchner, who was a German flying ace in World War I, and who had, according to Hanfstangl, a quote, strikingly buxom six-foot-tall blonde wife, which made her taller than Hitler.
[01:04:29]  This rather vulgar, sensuous, blue-eyed woman had manifestly succeeded in completely inflaming Hitler to a degree that made him seem entirely beyond himself.
[01:04:37]  His breath was short, his cheeks feverish, his eyes filled with exaltation.
[01:04:41]  In a swashbuckling manner, Hitler was strutting up and down the large veranda and garden, swinging his whip.
[01:04:47]  He would stop now and again to talk to Frau Buckner, whip in hand, punctuating his sentences with the whip in a schoolboy fashion.
[01:04:53]  He was obviously showing off, talking at Frau Buckner in the numerous gallery of admiring females, all party adherents.
[01:05:00]  He made, however, no impression on Frau Buckner.
[01:05:03]  On and on he went through the whole afternoon, acting the desperado, the wild man, the man of destiny.
[01:05:07]  The whole performance seemed hopefully pubescent and empty.
[01:05:10]  Oh, God.
[01:05:11]  Hitler just whacking a whip around.
[01:05:14]  She's swinging a whip, trying to flirt with a girl.
[01:05:16]  Check out my whip.
[01:05:17]  Check this shit out.
[01:05:18]  Look at how good I am with this whip.
[01:05:20]  Are you impressed?
[01:05:21]  No.
[01:05:21]  You think I look good?
[01:05:23]  Well, that's like the 1920s version of just like watching somebody play video games.
[01:05:28]  Check it out.
[01:05:29]  No, check out how good I am.
[01:05:31]  How do we get this headshot?
[01:05:32]  I have so many potions.
[01:05:34]  Think of how many potions I have.
[01:05:36]  It's not real.
[01:05:37]  No.
[01:05:37]  Now, Hitler also had a gigantic crush on his friend Putzy's wife, Helena Hofstangl.
[01:05:42]  Ian Kershaw writes, quote, on one occasion, he took advantage of Putzy Hofstangle's brief absence from the room to fall on his knees in front of Helena Hofstangl, describing himself as her slave and bemoaning the fate that had led him to her too late.
[01:05:54]  When Helena told him of the incident, Putzy put it down to Hitler's need to play the role of the languishing troubadour from time to time.
[01:06:00]  This guy just like needed to be like he's a cuck is what he actually is.
[01:06:04]  That I think is what he would have preferred.
[01:06:07]  He needed a good sex therapist.
[01:06:08]  He could say, no, dude, just do this.
[01:06:10]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:06:11]  Exactly.
[01:06:11]  Just like ask, like, watch some of your friend's bone.
[01:06:14]  That's what I think you'd probably do.
[01:06:16]  That's where I think you'd be happiest with Hitler.
[01:06:18]  Maybe give up politics and just watch your friend's bone.
[01:06:21]  Yeah, be that guy.
[01:06:22]  Be that guy.
[01:06:25]  Compared to Hitler, that's a great guy to be.
[01:06:27]  Yeah, well, and especially, like, that is the child of a dad uncle.
[01:06:30]  You know what I mean?
[01:06:30]  Like, that's what your kid becomes.
[01:06:32]  Yeah.
[01:06:35]  So when Putzy later expressed the worry that Hitler was essentially trying to steal his wife's affections, Helena told Putsy not to worry.
[01:06:42]  Hitler was, quote, an absolute neuter.
[01:06:45]  Yeah.
[01:06:45]  So that was Helena's attitude towards him.
[01:06:47]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:06:48]  Now, Hitler would later prove them and the OSS wrong, actually in the early autumn of 1926, when the rising fascist political star met a girl named Mimi Reiter.
[01:06:58]  We will talk about her, Hitler's courtship process, and his preferences and fucking in part two of this podcast.
[01:07:05]  But right now, it's the end of the episode until Thursday when we talk about the rest of this stuff.
[01:07:11]  I see.
[01:07:11]  Yeah, that was just.
[01:07:13]  That's just getting us to this to Mimi.
[01:07:15]  That's just getting us to Mimi.
[01:07:16]  Getting us to Mimi.
[01:07:17]  Maybe the first girl he fucked.
[01:07:19]  It's really, well, no, not the first girl he fucks, but like the first girl, we have a lot of detail on how he courted her.
[01:07:23]  I see.
[01:07:24]  So we're going to be talking a lot about how Hitler flirted with girls.
[01:07:27]  Cool is finally moving on from his fucking hand.
[01:07:30]  His fucking hand.
[01:07:31]  His leader hose him.
[01:07:33]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:07:34]  Oh, God.
[01:07:34]  He's such a.
[01:07:37]  He's such a loser.
[01:07:38]  He's such a loser.
[01:07:39]  I just wish ick benign loser.
[01:07:41]  There needs to be like, what is the.
[01:07:44]  People need to know how lame.
[01:07:47]  We always do like, it's either like Hitler at the end of the war where he's like a sick old man or like Hitler is this terrifying warlord.
[01:07:53]  Yeah.
[01:07:53]  And we miss out on incel Hitler.
[01:07:56]  You definitely nail the Elliot Roger perspective for sure.
[01:08:01]  Like, and he, it's so interesting, too, because it seems like he skipped right to incel.
[01:08:05]  Like he didn't have this like game phase where he was even trying to make it work.
[01:08:09]  He just immediately knew that he needed power of any kind to get anybody because he was such a zero.
[01:08:14]  Because he, yeah, there was otherwise no chance.
[01:08:17]  Yeah.
[01:08:18]  Oh, the entitlement, all of that.
[01:08:20]  Yeah, it's hate it.
[01:08:21]  It's gross.
[01:08:22]  You know, I try not to like psychoanalyze how much of this was like, did he get into power?
[01:08:26]  Like, I think it was probably ancillary and everyone does things for a lot of reasons.
[01:08:29]  But like, you can't look at his backstory and not see that like frustrated kid who just like doesn't understand why some people are good at that and he's not and like he's pissed because of it.
[01:08:41]  Well, and it's just like the entitlement as opposed to like growing yourself and making yourself a more well-rounded person.
[01:08:46]  Learning to dance.
[01:08:47]  Yes, exactly.
[01:08:48]  I mean, that's exactly it.
[01:08:49]  It's like all these kind of guys.
[01:08:51]  It's just like, just get a hobby that isn't just like trying to fuck somebody.
[01:08:55]  It's like, no, just be, if, be a well-rounded person in your own regard.
[01:08:59]  Yeah.
[01:08:59]  And then people will be interesting for people to be interested in you.
[01:09:02]  Yeah, because his whole thing and like in Kubasek's book, it becomes like the way he portrays Hitler is like he loves talking about his opinions on everything.
[01:09:10]  Of course.
[01:09:11]  But he's not good at much.
[01:09:12]  No, no, no.
[01:09:13]  He just loves to talk about what he thinks about things.
[01:09:15]  Yeah, of course.
[01:09:16]  And like, learn to dance, man.
[01:09:18]  That kind of self-important with nothing to back it up.
[01:09:20]  It's just.
[01:09:21]  We don't care.
[01:09:22]  Learn to dance.
[01:09:23]  Yeah.
[01:09:24]  Life's not that serious.
[01:09:25]  Just like learn to dance a little bit.
[01:09:27]  Go do something besides yell at people, Hitler.
[01:09:30]  Yeah.
[01:09:31]  Get a fucking dog.
[01:09:32]  Yeah, get a fucking dog.
[01:09:34]  Well, he did do that.
[01:09:35]  And we will talk about how dogs play into his flirtation style soon.
[01:09:40]  Of course they do.
[01:09:41]  Yeah, it's going to be gross.
[01:09:42]  Brandy, you got some pluggables to plug.
[01:09:44]  Yeah, you can find me on Twitter and Instagram at Brandazzle.
[01:09:48]  B-R-A-N-D-A-Z-Z-L-E.
[01:09:50]  I have a podcast called Lady to Lady.
[01:09:52]  That's very fun every Wednesday.
[01:09:54]  Me, Barbara Gray, Tess Barker with a fourth guest every week.
[01:09:58]  And then if you are in Los Angeles, I have a monthly show every second Saturday called Picture This.
[01:10:03]  That is at the Virgil.
[01:10:05]  It's a $10 show.
[01:10:06]  It's a comedians paired up with animators and they live animate your jokes during your set.
[01:10:10]  It's very, very fun.
[01:10:11]  We just had Pendleton Ward, the creator of Toucher Time, on the last one.
[01:10:15]  Awesome.
[01:10:16]  Craig Bartlett does our show a lot.
[01:10:17]  He's the creator of Hey Arnold.
[01:10:18]  And we have people from like Bojack and Big Mouth and like all sorts of awesome cartoon shows.
[01:10:23]  It's super soft.

=== Follow Us On Socials (03:13) ===

[01:10:24]  Oh man, that's crazy.
[01:10:25]  Yeah, that's awesome.
[01:10:26]  Yeah, it's really fun.
[01:10:26]  It's second Saturday of every month.
[01:10:28]  It's my favorite thing to do.
[01:10:30]  And then I tour like half the year.
[01:10:32]  So BrandyPosey.com.
[01:10:33]  And yeah.
[01:10:34]  That sounds so much more gratifying than just talking about Hitler's sex life.
[01:10:39]  It is.
[01:10:40]  But if you're into Hitler's sex life, you should follow my Twitter.
[01:10:43]  Yes.
[01:10:44]  I'm at IWriteOK.
[01:10:46]  You should follow this show's Twitter at BastardsPod.
[01:10:48]  You can find the sources for this episode and every episode on behindthebastards.com.
[01:10:53]  Look us up on TeePublic, Behind the Bastards.
[01:10:55]  TeePublic, buy a shirt, wear it, fight Hitler, even though he's dead and you're not actually fighting him.
[01:11:00]  Just buy a shirt and feel better.
[01:11:03]  Capitalism.
[01:11:05]  You can find us on Twitter and on Instagram at FBARTSPOD.
[01:11:08]  Sophie isn't here, and this is a goddamn train wreck.
[01:11:11]  Play me out, Johnny.
[01:11:18]  In 2023, bachelor star Clayton Eckard was accused of fathering twins, but the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax.
[01:11:25]  You doctored this particular test twice, Miss Owens, correct?
[01:11:28]  I doctored the test once.
[01:11:30]  It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern.
[01:11:35]  Two more men who'd been through the same thing.
[01:11:37]  Greg Gillespie and Michael Ranchini.
[01:11:39]  My mind was blown.
[01:11:41]  I'm Stephanie Young.
[01:11:42]  This is Love Trapped.
[01:11:44]  Laura, Scottsdale Police.
[01:11:46]  As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.
[01:11:50]  Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:11:57]  10-10 shots five, City Hall building.
[01:12:00]  How could this ever happen in City Hall?
[01:12:02]  Somebody tell me that.
[01:12:04]  A shocking public murder.
[01:12:05]  This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics.
[01:12:12]  They screamed, get down, get down.
[01:12:14]  Those are shots.
[01:12:15]  A tragedy that's now forgotten.
[01:12:18]  And a mystery that may or may not have been political, that may have been about sex.
[01:12:22]  Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:12:32]  When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
[01:12:40]  I vowed I will be his last target.
[01:12:42]  He is not going to get away with this.
[01:12:44]  He's going to get what he deserves.
[01:12:46]  We always say that, trust your girlfriends.
[01:12:51]  Listen to the girlfriends.
[01:12:53]  Trust me, babe.
[01:12:53]  On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[01:13:03]  I'm Laurie Siegel, and this is Mostly Human, a tech podcast through a human lens.
[01:13:08]  This week, an interview with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.
[01:13:11]  I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products we put out in the world.
[01:13:18]  An in-depth conversation with a man who's shaping our future.
[01:13:22]  My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI.
[01:13:25]  Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
[01:13:34]  This is an iHeart podcast.
[01:13:36]  Guaranteed human.