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Jan. 19, 2016 - The Ben Shapiro Show
36:22
Ep. 57 - The Establishment Hates Cruz More Than Trump

Palin moves to endorse Trump, the establishment chortles, and Amy Schumer enters a nunnery. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Time Text
Donald Trump is about to have a very good day.
Ted Cruz is about to have a not very good day.
We'll talk about all of it.
Plus, we'll get to Amy Schumer, among the things I do not like.
I'm Ben Shapiro.
This is The Venture Piro.
I'm not going to be a big fan of the video.
Who was going to come in and endorse Donald Trump?
And after a few minutes, the speculation centered on former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the 2006-2008, sorry, Republican vice presidential nominee.
And that has basically been confirmed at this point.
Sarah Palin had her daughter, Bristol Palin, write a piece today.
I'm not gonna say she forced her to do it or anything, but Bristol Palin wrote a piece today over her blog talking about how Sarah Palin ought to endorse Donald Trump, and then Sarah Palin promptly tweeted it.
Her private jet was set to land in Des Moines today and then continue on to Tulsa, Oklahoma, which is where Trump is scheduled to campaign next.
So all of the signs were out there that Sarah Palin was going to endorse Donald Trump.
And with those signs out there, one of Ted Cruz's spokespeople appeared on CNN and was asked about this potential endorsement.
Here's what Ted Cruz's spokesperson, I think his name is Rick Tyler, had to say.
I think it would blow Sarah Palin, because Sarah Palin has been a champion for the conservative cause, and if she was going to endorse Donald Trump, then sadly she would be endorsing someone who's held progressive views all their life on the sanctity of life, on marriage, on partial birth abortion, he was a tarp, supported tarp bailout, I mean it goes on and on and on.
Donald Trump claims he's changed all those views, but I just, I think, if it was Sarah Palin, let me just say I'd be deeply disappointed.
Okay, so he's right that Sarah Palin is conservative and Donald Trump is not conservative.
And in a minute, I'm going to go through all the reasons I know that Donald Trump isn't conservative for all of those of you who are big Donald Trump fans.
And I've really tried my best to be as honest as possible about what I think of these particular candidates.
I've told you before, if the primaries were held today, I would vote for Ted Cruz.
I'd vote for him easily over the other candidates.
I've also talked about a lot of the flaws I think I see in Ted Cruz as a candidate, a lot of the flaws I see in the Cruz campaign.
I've defended Donald Trump from unfair attacks, but Donald Trump is not a conservative.
Putting that aside for just a moment, Bristol Palin wrote today, quote, Cruz's flip-flop, turning against my mom who's done nothing but support and help him when others sure didn't, shows he's a typical politician, because Sarah Palin endorsed Ted Cruz back in 2012 against Lieutenant Governor David Dewhurst.
Bristol writes, how rude that he's setting up a false narrative about her.
America doesn't need that.
We need someone who has a vision for economic prosperity, who won't let us get kicked around in the world, who will fight for our future.
I didn't go to Harvard Law School, but I know this.
You can like two people in a race, but there will be only one president.
The audacity to suggest that because she chooses one over the other will somehow damage her just shows arrogance.
You also said she can pick winners.
I hope you're right.
And that she endorses Donald Trump for president today.
Sarah Palin then tweeted that out.
So I want to talk for a moment about why Sarah Palin would do this, and then I want to get into how this will impact the race.
So, why would Sarah Palin do this?
Well, Sarah Palin does feel a personal kinship with Donald Trump.
We know going back months that they've been meeting at Trump Tower, that they're very friendly.
Sarah Palin wrote a piece several months ago in which she talked about how Trump was sort of taking it to the media.
And Palin, on a personal level, is used to being hit by the same people who are hitting Trump.
All the people who are elitist about Sarah Palin are elitist about Trump.
All the people who think that Sarah Palin is a rube think that Donald Trump is an idiot.
And so she has sort of reacted to that by having a sort of warm feeling about Donald Trump.
I think there's a more cynical read here.
I don't know if it's true, but I'll throw it out there for your perusal.
And that is that Sarah Palin sees herself and is seen by a large segment of the population as someone who is a Tea Party leader.
Right?
They're always saying, Tea Party leader Sarah Palin.
She's put together a whole list of people who she's supported in primaries and they've won.
She's a Tea Party leader.
What happens if Ted Cruz gets the nomination?
What happens if Ted Cruz gets the nomination almost entirely with the support of the Tea Party because the establishment hates Ted Cruz?
Sarah Palin seems to fade into the woodwork at that point, right?
Sarah Palin seems to sort of fade away.
And so there's certain logic that suggests that perhaps Sarah Palin is supporting Donald Trump because if Donald Trump gets the nomination, then she remains the head of the Tea Party.
Now that's a pretty cynical read, but politics is a cynical game.
Okay, so let's talk about how this actually impacts the race a little bit.
As we mentioned, the Cruz campaign takes it seriously enough that they're out there talking about it, but there are five main reasons why this could actually be a real problem for Ted Cruz.
The first is that Palin's endorsement means conservative support for Trump.
So lately, Ted Cruz has been going out there and bashing Trump up and down.
And he's right to bash Trump up and down because Donald Trump, again, is not a conservative.
So, for example, here is Ted Cruz this week bashing Donald Trump.
Do we have that clip?
It's, I believe, clip five.
Number one, if you're looking for someone to take you on the corruption of Washington, you should look to someone who has a record of standing up to the corruption of Washington, not someone who has been part of it.
And whose explanation is, well, fine, I was buying politicians, but everybody does it.
That's not, that is not how you break the Washington cartel.
You know what?
I could have said in Washington, well, I'll go along to get along with Republican leadership because everybody does it.
That's how we got this problem.
Look, Donald Trump's critique of me this morning.
Is that I'm not going to be willing to make deals with the Democrats and go along to get along, and that's what we need.
If you agree with that, if you want yet another Republican to cozy up to Chuck Schumer, by the way, he's written checks to Chuck Schumer, I never have, then you ought to be backing him.
But if you think we need Republicans who are willing to stand up to Washington, then this decision becomes Or for easier.
And that attack line from Cruz about Trump, that Trump is not conservative, that started to gain legs to the point where Rush Limbaugh yesterday was on his show.
And he said that Trump shouldn't be attacking Cruz the way he is.
It's actually not conservative.
Here's Rush Limbaugh.
I think Trump is making a strategic error in the way he criticizes Cruz.
But folks, it's unrealistic to expect that they're not going to go after each other.
They're number one and two.
Iowa and New Hampshire are at stake.
This is politics.
There's only one winner.
The two of them can't win this together in some sort of a bromance and come out as a united couple after either one of these primaries or after the whole process.
It's not how it works.
They're both going to try to take each other out and they're both going to have their own strategeries for doing so.
And Trump, you know, obviously is trying to fight back on all of this, but he's having trouble.
So what does Sarah Palin do?
She comes in, out of the wings, and she gives Trump that patina of conservative support.
Cruz is saying that Trump is not a conservative candidate, but Palin is considered a hardline conservative with a lot of conservative support.
So she comes in, she says, I'm conservative, you should support Donald.
That's reason number one.
Reason number two, this is a problem for Cruz, is because Palin endorsed Cruz in 2012.
So Palin came in, she helped Cruz, now she's turning on Cruz and supporting Trump, presumably.
Well, that makes it very awkward for Cruz not to sort of pay lip service, at least, to Palin.
And in fact, just moments ago, he did exactly that.
Just moments ago, he came out and he suggested that whatever Sarah Palin does today, I'm always going to be a big fan Of Sarah Palin.
So he's now in the position of having to defend a gal who is giving her support to his opponent.
The third reason is that, as we discussed yesterday, one of the big attacks by Ted Cruz on Donald Trump has been the New York Values attack.
Right?
Donald Trump is an elitist.
He's from New York.
He's outside of the mainstream flyover Republican territory.
He doesn't get you.
Well, Sarah Palin is sort of the heart of that, right?
She's the mama grizzly.
She's the person who supposedly channeled All of the anger and outrage of flyover country in 08 and 12 and now she's backing Trump.
So all of a sudden Trump has the beltway inside behind him and he has the beltway outside behind him.
So it hurts Cruz that way.
Also along the same lines The fact is, and we'll get to this in a moment, the establishment likes Donald Trump better than they like Ted Cruz.
They really, really hate Ted Cruz.
So the fact that they like Trump and the fact that Palin represents the Tea Party means that all of a sudden Trump is a unity candidate.
He has support from the grassroots and he has support from the establishment.
It's kind of an amazing thing.
And finally, Palin actually has some people on the ground in Iowa.
So Sarah Palin, excuse me, Donald Trump, His ground game in Iowa is very weak and has been weak for a long time.
He's been hoping to get over the hump with an enthusiasm push.
Sarah Palin helps that a lot.
So these are bad things, certainly, for Ted Cruz in all of this.
Now, as I mentioned, Donald Trump is not a conservative.
Donald Trump really is not a conservative.
Donald Trump is trying to play it like he's a slap in the face to the establishment.
So yesterday, Donald Trump said just that.
He said, he's the worst thing that ever happened to the Republican establishment.
Here's Donald Trump on that.
So Ford will hire one of the lobbyists, you know.
Look, I know this game better than anybody.
I've been playing this game for a long time.
Folks, on the other side.
I changed sides.
You know, I was total establishment.
Now I'm like the worst thing that ever happened to the establishment.
Because I understand the game!
He says he's the worst thing that ever happened to the establishment.
Well, not really.
Ted Cruz is the worst thing that ever happened to the establishment because the establishment actually disagrees with Ted Cruz.
The establishment doesn't mind Trump all that much, even the left media.
They pretend that they hate Trump, but they kind of like Trump.
Here's Trevor Noah on Comedy Central interviewing Trump.
Or at least praising Trump to the skies.
Trevor Noah is the least funny man probably on planet Earth.
It might go-it might go all Baghdadi, the leader of ISIS, and then Trevor Noah, but it really is, uh, it's a battle.
It's a real battle as to who's the most unfunny person on planet Earth.
So here's Trevor Noah talking about Ted Cruz and Donald Trump.
And listen to how much he hates Ted Cruz.
It's sort of amazing.
That's right.
Trump and Cruz, they were at each other's throats all night, starting when Cruz attacked what he called New York values.
Everyone understands that the values in New York City are socially liberal or pro-abortion or pro-gay marriage, focused around money and the media.
Not a lot of conservatives come out of Manhattan.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
Oh, Ted Cruz.
The truth is, he's just upset because New York chewed up and spit out his Broadway dreams.
Not all of us can be Elphaba, Ted.
Yep.
Some of us have to be flying monkeys.
So, to get back at Cruz, Trump made it personal.
When the World Trade Center came down, I saw something that no place on Earth could have handled more beautifully, more humanely than New York.
You're two, 100...
I have to say, I've never been more impressed with Donald Trump.
Because not only is he making Ted Cruz look like a dick, but because Trump brought up 9-11, Ted Cruz has to stand there and applaud Trump while he does it.
That's like getting a guy to cheer for you as you make love to his wife.
Excellent thrusting motion, Mr. Trump.
Can I get you a Gatorade?
You're putting in quite the workout.
The amount of scorn that the media and the establishment have for Ted Cruz is significantly more than for Trump.
Because the reality is, if Ted Cruz had done the same thing to Donald Trump, is there any doubt the media would have jumped on him for invoking 9-11 cynically?
Is there any doubt that's the case?
So here's the dirty little secret.
The establishment hates Cruz more than they hate Trump.
I've been asking for months.
If they hate Trump so much, why don't they just get behind Cruz, right?
Look at the polling today.
There's a poll out of New Hampshire.
Right now, the Marco Rubio campaign, and Rubio is supposedly the great white hope for all of these establishment folks.
The Rubio campaign has now basically said their plan is Rubio finishes third in Iowa, second in New Hampshire, first in South Carolina.
Okay.
Right now, the polls in New Hampshire show Rubio running third, but he's tied at third with Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, and Jeb Bush.
They're all within a percentage point of each other.
And, who's way out in front?
Donald Trump.
And who's second?
His father was a mailman, John Kasich.
A New Hampshire poll today, Donald Trump 27, John Kasich 20.
Oh, dear God, no.
But, but, the point is that Marco Rubio has sort of fallen by the wayside, which means you would think the establishment would say, okay, the best shot we have here is for Ted Cruz to win Iowa, and then go on and compete in New Hampshire, and then we throw our support behind Ted Cruz.
The problem is, they don't actually want Ted Cruz to win.
National Review reported yesterday, quote, The developing feeling among House Republicans, Donald Trump is preferable to Ted Cruz, quote, If you look at Trump's actual policies, they're pretty thin.
There's not a lot of meat there, said one Republican member in Ryan's inner circle, who requested anonymity to speak frankly.
If Trump were to get the nomination, he would be, quote, And we will have that for him, says the member.
In other words, Trump has no real ideas, we'll just give him all his ideas.
Cruz has real ideas and we don't like those ideas.
So we like Trump more than we like Cruz.
And this is not surprising.
The fact is that the Republican establishment for a long time has wanted Northeastern Republicans who are soft on social issues and who don't mind crony capitalism.
Who does that sound like to you?
Does that sound more like Texas Senator Ted Cruz or like New York business mogul Donald Trump?
And by the way, we keep hearing from the Republican establishment, we need to win back blue-collar voters, reach out to minorities.
Well, they don't like that Trump didn't reach out to Hispanics, but the fact is Trump wins a large segment of the black population and he wins a lot of Democrats.
According to Reuters, about 1 in 10 Americans who plan to cast a vote this election will do so for the first time in years, if ever, and Trump has a decided edge with all those people.
According to a Mercury Analytics poll, it shows 20% of Democrats would switch parties to vote for Trump.
So the establishment actually backs Trump over Cruz, and they do so not just because they think that Trump is malleable, Well, because the fact is that Donald Trump is not conservative.
So this is an important portion of today's show.
You can clip this out, folks, and show it to all your friends.
When they ask you, is Donald Trump conservative, we're going to go through his positions now, and we're going to discuss whether he is, in fact, conservative.
And forgive me, I'm dying of the black lung, but aside from that, we are going to discuss.
Okay, so here, let's go through some of Donald Trump's positions.
First, on immigration, Trump is conservative, okay?
He's taken a very right-wing position on immigration.
He has flipped on those positions, however.
In 2012, he ripped on Mitt Romney for being too conservative on immigration.
When it came to Syrian Muslim refugees, originally he said we'd have to let all of them in before he said we have to keep all of them out.
He's all over the place.
So right now he's conservative, but he's flipped.
On foreign policy, he's all over the place.
He says we have to stand up to Russia, but we should let Russia take leadership in Syria, and he's best friends with Vladimir Putin.
On China, he says some of his best friends are in China, but we should put a 45% tariff on Chinese goods.
On ISIS, he says that we should bomb the crap out of them, but he also says that we should let Putin do it.
So he's all over the place.
Those are his more conservative issues.
Then there are the issues where he truly is not conservative.
So on abortion, Trump says that he had a change of heart several years ago on the issue of abortion.
In 1999, by the way, he endorsed partial birth abortion, which is to say, one week before the baby's born, you pull it into the birth canal and jack a hole in its skull, and then cut up the baby in the womb.
Okay, that's what partial birth abortion is.
In 1999, Trump endorsed that.
He had to flip somewhere along the line, but Then he said in January 2015 he's pro-life with caveats of rape, incest, and where the mother's life is in danger.
And then he said there may be more caveats, but he didn't want to discuss them.
In August, he said that maybe he would fund Planned Parenthood before he turned around and said he wouldn't.
He said in August also, in the first Republican debate, he said he flipped on abortion because a good friend of his was gonna have an abortion and she decided not to and then the kid ended up being just great.
So he decided abortion was bad.
Jamie Weinstein of the Daily Caller asked Trump if the kid had ended up being a loser, would you have flipped?
And he said no.
Okay, so in other words, if the kid had been aborted and then, if the kid had not been aborted and had ended up just being kind of like a dud, Trump presumably would still be for abortion.
Does that sound someone deeply pro-life to you?
In October, Trump said he would appoint his sister, who's a federal appeals court judge, to the Supreme Court.
She has voted in favor of the notion that partial birth abortion is protected by the Constitution.
On same-sex marriage, Trump says that he's anti same-sex marriage, but also that same-sex marriage is the law of the land and he doesn't want any sort of fight against same-sex marriage.
He certainly doesn't want a constitutional amendment.
On religious freedom, he has said nothing whatsoever about religious freedom restoration acts in places like Indiana.
On entitlements, Donald Trump has said he won't do anything about Medicare or Medicaid or Social Security.
He says all of those will be left alone to go insolvent, presumably.
He said that he won't have to cut Social Security because, quote, I know where to get the money from to pay for it.
Nobody else does.
So Donald Trump apparently has a secret stash somewhere, like when you're playing Monopoly with when you're a kid and you hide a bunch of cash under the board to surprise everybody with.
So Donald Trump has a secret Social Security stash.
Donald Trump is in favor of campaign finance reform.
He's in favor of government involvement in the economy.
He backed TARP.
He backed Obama's stimulus package.
In 2009, Trump said, quote, I think Obama is doing very well.
You do need stimulus, and you do have to keep the banks alive.
Trump supports eminent domain for purposes of seizing private land and then giving it to another private landowner.
Trump opposes Common Core on education, but says he would maintain the Department of Education.
Trump says on Obamacare he would dump it.
He hates Obamacare, but he has praised the nationalized health care systems of Scotland and Canada.
His tax plan is actually conservative.
His trade plan is not.
His trade plan involves heavy international tariffs.
And then he's pretty good on guns.
So, in short, good on immigration, good on taxes, good on guns, mixed at best on everything else.
He's not nearly as conservative as Cruz.
And that's why so many people in the establishment would prefer Donald Trump to Ted Cruz.
So, there's that.
This whole thing is just, it is amazing, it is amazing that there's so many people who are being bamboozled into the idea that Trump is a conservative.
There's one, honestly, there's something to be said for the fact that Donald Trump's enemies are all obnoxious elitists.
That's mostly true.
But, to mix that up with star worship is a problem.
And honestly, I had this problem with the worship for Sarah Palin from the beginning.
I thought Sarah Palin, when she first announced, I thought that she was a godsend.
And then I thought she made some mistakes.
I didn't think it was a gotcha question when Katie Couric asked for what newspapers she read.
I thought you should have an answer to what newspapers do you read.
It's not a difficult question.
Just like I don't think it's a gotcha question to ask Donald Trump, what's your favorite Bible verse?
I don't think that that was a gotcha question, but there were people who acted as though because there were lots of unwarranted attacks on Palin, every attack on Palin was unwarranted.
And now it's the same thing with Trump.
Because there are lots of unwarranted attacks on Trump, that means every attack on Trump is unwarranted.
I don't buy that.
I don't think that's correct.
I think it's ridiculous, actually.
And I think that we need to move beyond a conservatism that worships at the altar of particular figures.
That's not what we do as conservatives.
We don't worship figures.
And it happens on the establishment side, too.
I'm sick of the worship of Ronald Reagan, for example.
Ronald Reagan did stuff that's wrong.
Not everything Ronald Reagan ever said was genius.
Ronald Reagan made mistakes.
That's okay, we're human beings.
But to change the standard of conservatism to fit Donald Trump because Sarah Palin says so, for example, is to me a mistake.
And Sarah Palin can endorse whom she wants.
But I will say that if conservatives buy into the idea that because Sarah Palin is endorsing Donald Trump, therefore Donald Trump is a conservative, That seems ridiculous to me.
That seems like a purely insane notion.
By the way, just worth mentioning, Donald Trump says he's in favor of campaign finance reform.
He wants all the money out of politics, which is amazing considering who he is.
The United Kingdom debated yesterday whether or not to ban Donald Trump from the United Kingdom for his comments about Muslims.
That is a country where they have significant regulations of what you can or cannot do with regard to speech surrounding elections.
And the reason for that is because they don't want people quote-unquote buying elections, so it happens they move ever to the left.
So there's just worth noting.
Meanwhile, the Obama administration continues to be incompetent beyond all measure.
John Kerry yesterday was asked about Barack Obama's foreign policy, and here's what he said, and the disconnect between the Obama administration and reality is just massive.
Just massive.
Well, they are safer today.
The world is safer today.
Before we had this agreement, Iran had a completely invisible, unaccountable, unverified nuclear program.
Today that is not true.
INFLATION.
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT 15,000 CENTRIFUGES.
THEY HAD ENOUGH NUCLEAR MATERIAL TO MAKE 10 TO 12 BOMBS.
AND THEY WERE HURTLING TOWARDS A PROGRAM THAT WAS GOING TO CREATE AN INEVITABILITY OF CONFRONTATION.
TODAY THAT IS NOT TRUE.
THAT IS ENTIRELY REVERSED.
NOT ONLY DO WE NOW HAVE VERIFICATION THAT IS UNPRECEDENTED, BUT THEY HAVE ROLLED BACK THEIR PROGRAM, SENT THEIR NUCLEAR MATERIAL OUT OF THE COUNTRY, ENRICHMENT ACTIVITIES AT THE HIDDEN FORT OUT FACILITY, AND ALLOWED 130 ADDITIONAL INSPECTORS FROM THE IAEA TO COME INTO THE COUNTRY TO VERIFY AND ALLOWED 130 ADDITIONAL INSPECTORS FROM THE IAEA TO COME INTO THE COUNTRY So we have gone from a two-month breakout period, Joe, It's all just great stuff for you, John Kerry.
So they are absolutely safer.
John Kerry's face, by the way, is proof that Isaac Newton's theory of gravity is true.
Because over time, his face grows closer to the earth, or the earth grows closer to his face.
Apparently it's all equal and opposite.
But in any case, John Kerry says that the world is safer today than it ever was.
He's then asked about the pictures of the sailors released by the Iranians.
Remember they basically kidnapped some of our sailors overnight?
Here's John Kerry explaining his feelings at seeing the pictures of the sailors being humiliated.
Suffice it to say, I don't want to get into precise language.
I think that's inappropriate.
But let me make it clear.
I was extremely upset, frustrated.
It was inappropriate.
And I made it very, very clear to the Iranians that we needed those people back.
And we needed them right away.
Oh well, he was upset and frustrated.
But don't worry, the world is safer.
And because he was very upset and frustrated, that means a lot to us, I think.
I think that that means we should give them nuclear weapons.
Because John Kerry was upset and frustrated.
Tom Cotton, who I think is going to be at some point a good presidential candidate, he's the senator from Arkansas, former military member, served in Iraq.
Here is Tom Cotton's response to John Kerry saying the world is going to be a safer place.
And second, Remember, this was a deal, if it was in fact about a weapons agreement before the Islamic Revolution in 1979, that we made with the pro-American government of Iran, that was then overthrown by a violent revolution led by the Ayatollahs.
And we're rewarding them now by giving them back that previous regime's money with interest.
Secretary Kerry talked about interest payments being required under the law.
I'm not sure which law he's referring to.
But it sounds to me like he's more interested in being the lawyer for the government of Iran than he is for standing up, for instance, as you say, Wolf, for the rights of those 52 Americans who still have lots of claims against Iran for the terrorism and the captivity in which they held them.
And this, of course, is certainly true.
By the way, worth noting, breaking news.
It is amazing that the governor of Iowa has now come out and said that he does not like Ted Cruz and he wants Ted Cruz to be defeated.
Because the reality is that, again, the Republican establishment, to go back to that point for just a second, the Republican establishment hates Cruz far more than they hate Trump.
They're now clearing a path for Trump in Iowa.
So they've conceded.
They're ready to hand this thing over to Trump, which is truly amazing.
Okay, some things that I like and some things that I hate.
Instead of things that I like, I'm going to tell you what I'm reading now.
I finally finished David Copperfield.
It took me forever, as I mentioned yesterday.
It was a really, really long book.
I'm reading two books now.
One is called The Insanity Offense.
I'm fascinated with the mental health conditions of the country, and this book called The Insanity Offense is all about how the The country, the democratic process, our politicians have failed, the mentally ill in the country, and that's why you see tons of homeless people on the streets, and that's why you see increasing numbers of mass shootings by people who have mental illness, and he talks about how things got this way, the author does.
The book is called The Insanity Offense, and on the fiction side, I just started a book called The Whites, which was a detective crime novel that was recommended to me, and so I will check it out and let you know if it's any good.
Okay.
Now, more importantly, here are some things that I hate.
So, we've talked about Amy Schumer on the program before.
Amy Schumer is, of course, the lady who's famous for being borderline funny and borderline fat.
She's overweight, but not unbelievably so, and she's funny, but not unbelievably so.
And she did a picture, as you recall, a while back in which she posed naked for Annie Leibovitz.
And she said she was stunning, and if by stunning you mean you were hit in the face with a brick, then yes, she was stunning.
If by stunning you mean she was beautiful, then not so much.
But, Amy Schumer has made a career, like a real career, out of just saying dirty words, and saying dirty things, and talking about her vagina.
I mean, honestly, this is what she's made a career off of doing.
She's like Sarah Silverman, except blonde and fatter.
Sarah Silverman is a comedian who's done the same thing.
She's kind of quasi-cute, and so is Amy Schumer.
They're both quasi-cute.
But they say lots of stuff about their vajujus, and therefore, that means that they are funny.
You're funny and you're sophisticated if you are not incredibly pretty.
But the standard for female funny now is basically going blue.
Right?
Being blue is the standard for female funny.
I mean, name a female comedian who's real famous right now who's not deeply blue, and it's very difficult to figure one out, right?
I mean, from Sarah Silverman to Amy Schumer.
To Lena Dunham, to Chelsea Handler, they all work blue.
And, you know, I have nothing against a good dirty joke, but the problem is most of their jokes aren't even good dirty jokes.
Most of their jokes are just dirty jokes.
And they're really not that funny, and I actually find it kind of off-putting when females can do nothing but talk about their vaginas, just as I actually find it off-putting when men can do nothing but talk about their penises.
I just find it ridiculous.
Amy Schumer has done this.
Well, Amy Schumer got into a bit of a tiff because the Critics' Choice Award happened a couple of nights ago, and there's this 17-year-old reviewer who calls himself Lights Camera Jackson, and he tweeted this out.
Let's see if we can grab his tweet.
So, for those who can't see, there's a picture of this geeky-looking 17-year-old kid and Amy Schumer standing next to him looking like Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks, except with cleavage.
And it says, he tweeted out, quote, Spent the night with Amy Schumer.
Certainly not the first guy to write that.
Hashtag Critic's Choice Award.
Right, so he's making a joke about how she's slutty.
I mean, that's the joke.
And she writes back, I get it.
Cause I'm a whore?
Glad I took a photo with you.
Hi to your dad.
And she's getting all snippy with him.
Because presumably she's a nun.
I mean, I would have thought she's a whore because she always talks about being a whore, but it turns out that she actually spends her off hours in a nunnery, which I didn't know.
I also didn't know, for example, that nuns make jokes about going down on Lily Tomlin, which is what she did this morning.
I also didn't know that nuns do photoshoots, Star Wars photoshoots, in which they take lightsabers and put them in their mouth to simulate the act of oral sex.
I also didn't know that nuns do pictures in which they go completely topless next to R2-D2 and C-3PO to demonstrate their love for Christ.
I didn't realize that's what nuns do.
Color me surprised, but I was always under the impression that in order for you to claim the class of being virginal, you actually had to be somewhat virginal.
Amy Schumer's the lady who said, quote, I can catch a dick whenever I want.
Right?
This is Amy Schumer, and here she's ripping on a 17-year-old kid for making a joke about the fact that she says she can catch a dick whenever she wants.
She, uh, she's just ridiculous.
And, and, I mean, just to put the capper on it, the name of her show is Inside Amy Schumer.
Okay?
The name of her tour is Back Door Tour.
That's the name of her tour.
She says, quote, I have used sex as a marketing tool and it has worked.
I mean, my TV show is called Inside Amy Schumer.
She made her movie Trainwreck.
It was supposed to be autobiographical.
It's a lady who has sex with lots of dudes.
And she said, for me, this is my experience, a lot of the women I am close to are the same.
She said she even she's told jokes like this in in one of her recent tours quote my whole life I found friends that are just like me young girls that were just like me like me.
We were all whores Oh, so but but here it seems like you're upset that you're being called a whore or that it's being implied But here you say that you were all whores and then she says in my group the slutty of us was this girl Katie She wouldn't own it like as soon as she had a boyfriend.
She started acting like Mother Teresa Mirror anyone?
I mean, I know it's hard to find a mirror big enough for Amy Schumer apparently, but is there a mirror anywhere in the vicinity?
So the kind of self-righteousness of the folks on the left, and Amy Schumer, she's actually one of the few people who's blocked me on Twitter now.
She blocked me on Twitter because bravery means tweeting out photos of yourself naked, calling yourself brave, and then blocking anyone who objects.
That's true bravery.
That's what the fellows did at Normandy.
They charged the beaches and then they blocked the Nazis.
That's what they did.
They hashtag blocked them for hashtag feminist violations.
So tough, tough feminists doing yeoman's work on behalf of feminism by acting like scared little girls.
So there's that.
That's one thing I hate.
Another thing that I hate is there's this movement now, Oscars So White, and it's being pushed by Spike Lee.
Now Spike Lee apparently is mad that he's not getting a nomination for his new movie, Chirac.
Here is the trailer for Chirac, and we will determine whether this seems like this is worthy of Oscar nominations.
Here we go.
This is an emergency.
This is an emergency.
Homicides in Chicago, Illinois, have surpassed the death toll of America's special forces in Iraq.
Hey, Dolomites!
Welcome to Chirac.
Chirac, where we at?
My sister.
Land of pain, misery, and strife.
Everybody here got a man banging and slanging, fighting for the flag, risking that long zip for the cadaver bag.
All to the bang, bang.
Bang, bang.
It all started with a gorgeous Nubian sister.
What's up, spinner?
They call her Alyssa Strauss, a woman like no other.
You just try taking away their guns.
Okay, okay.
30 poppers?
As my gun go boom, I make sure a Trojan end up in her neck.
All right.
Well, what else do they love?
Repeat after me.
I will deny all rights of access or entrance.
I will deny all rights of access.
I can't take any more of this.
I can't.
I can't.
I just can't.
Okay.
So I listened to Andrew Klavan's podcast, in which he played this same trailer, about a week and a half ago, and he said this looked good.
And this made me doubt anything that Andrew Klavan has ever said.
I mean, legitimately.
Because, if you're watching this, folks, this looks like one of the worst movies ever made.
I mean, this does not just look bad.
This looks egregiously bad.
I mean, this looks like—I haven't seen the movie, so maybe it's all ruse.
Maybe it turns out it's Citizen Kane.
But, I sorta—even the critics think this is a bad movie, by the way.
And Spike Lee is very upset.
He and Jada Pinkett Smith are both really upset because there aren't enough black nominees for the Oscars.
Okay, first of all, I'm fine with the idea.
I think we should go perfectly race and sex neutral on the Oscars, and that means that no women will ever be nominated for anything again, because the fact is that presumably men can be women, and apparently Eddie Redmayne has shown in The Danish Girl that men are better at being women than women.
So, presumably, in the future, all nominees will be men or transgender women.
So that'll be very exciting.
But, what's amazing is that Spike Lee, apparently, he's very upset because there are not enough black nominees.
Does this look like this ought to be nominated?
Now, I've made the case that half of the things that are nominated shouldn't be.
But I'm still gonna make the case that this movie does not look better than Spotlight.
Okay, I'm gonna make the case that this movie does not look superior in any way, shape, or form to even Carol or The Danish Girl, both of which I think look awful.
Hey, this movie looks worse than anything that has ever been made, and Spike Lee is one of the most overrated directors working today.
I mean, he's so overrated.
I've seen virtually all of his movies, because I feel it's important to see what people who don't think like I do actually produce, and his movies are wildly overrated.
He made one decent movie, right?
He made one decent movie very early on, and the name escapes me.
It's the one about Brooklyn.
They're all about Brooklyn, but it's the one about Brooklyn.
With the pizzeria and the race riot at the end, and I can't remember the name of it.
But that's an okay movie, it's not a great movie.
All the rest of his movies are garbage.
He made one about World War II a couple of years ago that was so bad.
And it's hard for me to say a World War II movie is bad.
This is an actual bad World War II movie.
And so, you know, here he is complaining about this, and Jada Pinkett Smith is complaining because there are not enough black nominees.
And they were doing this on Martin Luther King Day, by the way.
And also on Martin Luther King Day, the Black Lives Matter movement shut down one of the bridges into San Francisco.
It wasn't the Golden Gate.
They shut down one of the other bridges into San Francisco.
I think it was the Bay Bridge in San Francisco.
On Martin Luther King Day.
To suggest that black people are of more worth than white people.
The fact is that we are now at the point in American culture where Martin Luther King lost and Malcolm X won.
So Martin Luther King promised us that we would have a unified vision of race in the country, and for a while it seemed like we were going to actually achieve that.
After Rodney King, after the Clinton administration, it seemed like we were moving in the right direction on all this stuff.
And then it all just collapsed on us.
And it collapsed on us because there's more money to be made in racial polarization than there is to be made in racial unification.
So now we're going back to racial polarization, and then pretending the Malcolm X, like, before-Islam conversion Malcolm X, and Martin Luther King were one and the same.
They weren't.
And it's sad to me that we've reached that point.
Because we should all be able to say, with full-throatedness, that Chirac looks like a piece of absolute garbage, without having to worry that we're gonna be called racist in the pursuit.
We should all be able to say that, by the way, I think that if there's a case to be made that someone black should have been nominated, it's Idris Elba for maybe best supporting actor for Beast of No Nation, which I talked about on the show and thought was fine.
But just because he wasn't nominated, I don't think that all the lefties in Hollywood are a bunch of evil racists trying to keep black people off the ballots.
But this is how far we've moved.
We've moved so far for women that women can now say, I'm a whore, but if you call me a whore, then you're a sexist.
And black people can say, I'm post-racial, but if you don't give me special privileges for being black, then you're a racist.
So we've inverted all of the definitions to arrive back where we were originally, pushing sexism and pushing racism.
It's sad and it's ridiculous, but you know, that seems like that's the way our politics and values have been moving.
For more depression and upset, come back tomorrow.
I'm Ben Shapiro.
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