Trump soars, Jeb plummets, Cruz and Rubio battle it out -- plus Ben gets into a Twitter fight with sometimes comedian Patton Oswalt! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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| So, here we are. | |
| It is the day after the big Republican debate, and we will break it all down for you. | |
| Plus, I get in a Twitter war with Patton Oswalt. | |
| If you don't know him, he's the short, fat guy who does the voice of the Rat in Ratatouille. | |
| I'll explain why that's important in our Things I Hate segment. | |
| Plus, Miley Cyrus will make a very special appearance that will leave you gagging. | |
| I'm Ben Shapiro. | |
| This is The Ben Shapiro Show. | |
| Tend to demonize people because they don't care about your feelings. | |
| All right, so here we are. | |
| And it is the day after the big Republican debate. | |
| And let me just say this. | |
| Donald Trump ended up the victor. | |
| I can give my quick debate grades here and go through all the candidates, even though only a few of them are relevant. | |
| Donald Trump gets an A. The reason that Donald Trump did well last night is because Donald Trump is, as I've always said, a hammer in search of a nail. | |
| He found more nails than puppies last night. | |
| And meanwhile, Rubio, Marco Rubio, and Ted Cruz were busy slapping at each other, and Chris Christie was busy slapping at Rand Paul, and Rand Paul was busy slapping at Marco Rubio, and John Kasich was busy being the most self-important, obnoxious windbag anybody's ever met. | |
| So no one cares about John Kasich, and no one knows why he's there, aside from doing the karate chop hands and just raging against the machine. | |
| So there's a lot to get to here, but the only thing that really matters is that nothing really touched Trump. | |
| Nothing touched Trump. | |
| There were so many opportunities for someone to go after Trump, Nobody did it. | |
| The only person who went after Trump at all was Jeb Bush, and that ended extraordinarily poorly for Jeb Bush, as we will get to in just a moment. | |
| So Trump gets an A. I gave Ted Cruz a B. He should have done better. | |
| He didn't do as well because he got drawn into these long exchanges with Marco Rubio that we'll talk about. | |
| Rubio, I gave a C, and that's because Rubio's always smooth, but that smoothness is a problem for him because If you're sort of the white knight in shining armor, for lack of a better term, and you're the guy who can't be touched, you're the brand new car, fresh off the lot, the scratch, the dent on you looks a lot bigger than the guy who's been through the mill a couple of times like Ted Cruz. | |
| So the fact that Rubio actually got hit in the face a couple of times last night by Rand Paul and by Ted Cruz and by Donald Trump, He lost a little bit of the sheen, and so that was not good for him, which in turn means that Chris Christie did better than he was supposed to do. | |
| I gave him a C also. | |
| I didn't think he was great by any stretch of the imagination, but he was helped by the fact that everyone was attacking Rubio. | |
| Rand Paul had a good debate, mainly because he served as a tool to whack at Marco Rubio, and he did so quite effectively, actually, on the Gang of Eight immigration bill, which, for some reason, Rubio had been able to escape up till now in the debate. | |
| Again, For all of this, Donald Trump is just sitting off to the side of the room and laughing and laughing and chortling like the fat lion that he is. | |
| And eventually, Jeb Bush tries to prod him with a stick and that prompts all the entertainment value. | |
| So let's go through this a little bit. | |
| Let's start with clip one. | |
| There was the early debate. | |
| The early debate was a bunch of known names as Lindsey Graham and George Pataki and Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, who will probably drop out. | |
| His support will probably go to Ted Cruz. | |
| Lindsey Graham represents a wing of the party that is sort of the anti-Donald Trump on foreign policy. | |
| And that is, we're really hardcore on security. | |
| We will get involved in foreign entanglements on a routine basis. | |
| And also, we can never say anything nasty about radical Islam, which is weird because Graham will talk about radical Islamic terror, but then he'll apologize to Muslims globally. | |
| This is the thing people dislike about Lindsey Graham, who actually, when he talks foreign policy, isn't all wrong, but he's just so irritating, there's no way to contain it. | |
| So here's Lindsey Graham, the senator from South Carolina, being wildly irritating and looking more and more, as always, like that guy from Jabba the Hutt's palace, you know, the guy with the big tentacle around his neck, and that's sort of what Lindsey Graham looks like. | |
| So here we go, Lindsey Graham, the senator from South Carolina. | |
| Donald Trump has done the one single thing you cannot do. | |
| Declare war on Islam itself. | |
| ISIL would be dancing in the streets, they just don't believe in dancing. | |
| This is a coup for them and to all of our Muslim friends throughout the world, like the King of Jordan and the President of Egypt. | |
| I am sorry he does not represent us. | |
| If I am president, we will work together. | |
| People in the faith, through all over the world, destroy this radical ideology. | |
| Declaring war on the religion only helps ISIL. | |
| Okay, so he's apologizing to all the Muslims all over the world. | |
| First of all, General El-Sisi in Egypt has called for a reformation inside Islam. | |
| So it's not just Trump and others who've been calling for this. | |
| This sort of language does not endear Lindsey Graham to millions. | |
| But Lindsey Graham doesn't really matter much. | |
| Let's get on to the main debate. | |
| So the main debate is basically, as I say, Trump winning. | |
| And Trump's candidacy is basically a combination of two slogans at this point. | |
| F all y'all and So, those are basically his slogans, right? | |
| It's F all you all, meaning you attack me, I'm gonna attack you. | |
| I don't really think about these policies too deeply, but I'm gonna give you my knee-jerk response, and at least you know they're sincere that way, because I haven't thought them out. | |
| That means they're sincere. | |
| And also, if you attack me with something, I might also say, so what? | |
| Right, okay, so that's sort of been Donald Trump's response to everything bad about him. | |
| So you're going to call me an Islamophobe, so? | |
| So you're going to say I'm corrupt, so? | |
| So you're going to say that I have a bad personal life, or I'm a racist, so? | |
| And it's an effective tactic because once you say so, there's really no response to it. | |
| Well, this comes up when Trump and Jeb go at each other. | |
| So Jeb, somebody told Jeb Bush before this debate, Jeb Bush has spent $35 million at this point to get to 2%, 3% nationally in the polls. | |
| He's trailing heavily in Iowa and New Hampshire. | |
| And this is the exchange where, every debate comes down to moments, right? | |
| Nobody remembers the entire two-hour debate. | |
| What people remember are specific moments. | |
| This was the most memorable portion of the debate because Jeb decided the only way he was gonna be able to overcome his Jeb-ness Which is to say the fact that he's drab and boring and just milquetoast. | |
| The only way to overcome that was to go after Donald Trump. | |
| Now this has ended poorly before for Jeb. | |
| If you remember the previous debates, usually it started with Jeb saying something to Trump like, I want you to apologize to my wife. | |
| And Trump going, No. | |
| And then Jeb going, Okay. | |
| And then that's the exchange, and Jeb looks weak. | |
| Well, Jeb this time wasn't gonna back down. | |
| And the problem is, this is what Trump is best at. | |
| Okay, people act like Trump has no talent at this whatsoever. | |
| Trump has some talent. | |
| He's good at the things he was good at on The Apprentice, which is throwing insults at people and taking them by the back of the head and smacking their face into a table. | |
| And that's basically what he does with Jeb Bush. | |
| I mean, this is a reenactment of the scene from the Jimmy Cagney movie, where Jimmy Cagney is playing a gangster and he takes a grapefruit and smashes it in his girlfriend's face. | |
| That's basically what this exchange is. | |
| You're gonna see Jeb Bush start to get a little bit uppity with Donald Trump, trying to prove how tough he is, and Donald Trump just take an enormous Trump dump all over Jeb Bush. | |
| It really gets ugly. | |
| There are two segments to this exchange. | |
| We'll play both. | |
| Here is Jeb going after Trump. | |
| We need toughness. | |
| Honestly, I think Jeb is a very nice person. | |
| He's a very nice person. | |
| But we need tough people. | |
| We need toughness. | |
| We need intelligence, and we need tough. | |
| Jeb said when they come across the southern border, they come as an act of love. | |
| You said in September 30th that ISIS was not a factor. | |
| Am I talking or are you talking? | |
| I'm talking right now. | |
| I'm talking. | |
| You can go back. | |
| You're not talking. | |
| You interrupted me, Jeb. | |
| September 30th, you said it. | |
| Are you going to apologize, Jeb? | |
| No. | |
| Am I allowed to finish? | |
| Yes, one at a time. | |
| Excuse me, am I allowed to finish? | |
| Go ahead, Mr. Trump. | |
| So, again, I know you're trying to build up your energy, Jeb, but it's not working very well. | |
| With Jeb's attitude, we will never be great again. | |
| That I can tell you. | |
| We will never be great. | |
| Okay, so, you know, they go at each other here, and you can see Jeb is desperately trying to grab a little bit, just a little bit of that Trump buff mystique. | |
| You know, the whole fat lion mystique I've talked about before, where he kind of sits there and he's all lazy, and then you poke him and he eats your face. | |
| Okay, the second part of this exchange, that was bad enough for Jeb. | |
| The second part of this exchange is where Trump really tires of Jeb, and then just guts him like an animal on the prairies of Hoth, and then lives inside his body. | |
| It's really, what's it called, the gun guy? | |
| That's basically what he does to Jeb Bush right here, and it's ugly for Jeb Bush. | |
| This is a tough business to run for president. | |
| Oh, I know. | |
| You're a tough guy, Jeb. | |
| I know. | |
| And we need to have a leader that is professional. | |
| Real tough. | |
| You're never going to be president of the United States by insulting your way to the presidency. | |
| You're real tough, Jeb. | |
| Yeah? | |
| Well, let's see. | |
| I'm at 42, and you're at 3. | |
| So, so far, I'm doing better. | |
| Doesn't matter. | |
| Doesn't matter. | |
| So far, I'm doing better. | |
| You know, you started off over here, Jeb. | |
| You're moving over further and further. | |
| Pretty soon, you're going to be off the end. | |
| Don't lose your temper, Jeb. | |
| This doesn't do a thing to us. | |
| It doesn't do a thing to us all around. | |
| And that's when John Kasich stepped in to tell everybody to take out the garbage, which is John Kasich's thing, right? | |
| As soon as the fun stuff starts happening, John Kasich reminds everybody that Brussels sprouts are better for you. | |
| So what that demonstrates, again, is that Jeb Bush was put apparently on this earth for one reason and one reason only. | |
| And it's so that Donald Trump could take Jeb Bush's hand and hit Jeb Bush in the face with his own hand repeatedly. | |
| Because, I'm sorry, but when you claim that you're the tough guy and then Donald Trump pummels you that way, it just makes Trump look tougher. | |
| And that's, of course, what people are going to remember about this. | |
| And there are people who revel in this. | |
| It's wildly entertaining. | |
| People sort of want to see Trump do this to Hillary Clinton, right? | |
| They want to see Hillary Clinton get tough with Trump and then see Trump just take a kitchen sink and hit her with it. | |
| I mean, it reminds me of a story where Well, it's slightly lewd, but we can tell it. | |
| So when I was in law school, I was playing poker with a guy from law school, and he was talking about how he had been trolling Craigslist for girls. | |
| And he said that he had invited this girl over, and in the midst of their intimacy, she started yelling at him that she wanted to be hit, and he did not know what to do. | |
| And so she says, hit me, and he didn't know what to do. | |
| And she says, hit me, and he didn't know what to do. | |
| And she says, hit me, and so he grabbed a toaster and hit her in the face with it. | |
| And that's basically Donald Trump. | |
| And that's basically Donald Trump here. | |
| You just don't know what he's gonna do. | |
| And eventually, if you beg the question too many times, you will take the toaster and hit somebody in the face with it. | |
| And it may be egregious, and it may be brutal, and it's also wildly entertaining. | |
| So, you know, Jeb tried to slap at Trump. | |
| It failed. | |
| And so Trump elevates himself by slapping at Jeb. | |
| People don't understand, on the establishment right, why people dislike Jeb so much. | |
| It's because his last name is Bush, and because he seems weak. | |
| It's those two things. | |
| It really is. | |
| It has nothing to do with Common Core or immigration. | |
| It has to do with his last name is Bush and he seems like a weakling. | |
| And we don't want a weakling this time around. | |
| That's really what the Trump vs. Bush feud is about. | |
| So Trump does well on that. | |
| The other part of the debate that was crucial, there were really only two parts that were crucial. | |
| The other part of the debate that was crucial was the attack on Marco Rubio. | |
| So in order for Rubio to win, He needs to consolidate support from Chris Christie. | |
| He needs to consolidate support from John Kasich. | |
| He needs to take Jeb Bush's support, particularly in New Hampshire. | |
| Right now, Rubio has a very, very narrow pathway to victory. | |
| He's not going to win Iowa. | |
| He sort of has to win New Hampshire. | |
| If he doesn't win New Hampshire, and let's say Trump wins New Hampshire. | |
| So let's say Trump wins New Hampshire and Cruz wins Iowa. | |
| Now we go to South Carolina. | |
| In South Carolina, either Cruz or Trump will win, likely Trump by the latest polls. | |
| Then, we don't go to Florida from there. | |
| There are another 24 primaries before we get to Florida, which is where Rubio is sort of wanting to make his last stand. | |
| Now, if you remember the Florida-as-last-stand strategy, this was last tried by President Rudy Giuliani, right? | |
| And as the name President Rudy Giuliani would suggest, never happened. | |
| It didn't work out. | |
| So if Rubio thinks that he's going to build momentum over the course of a lot of primaries, it's not going to happen. | |
| He needs other people to drop out. | |
| Last night, everyone went after Rubio. | |
| In ways that Rubio kind of deserved to be gone after on policy. | |
| I mean, he really was hit hard on policy, and it was ugly. | |
| So, we can go to clip five here. | |
| Rand Paul bashed Marco Rubio on immigration. | |
| It's kind of astonishing that Rubio had not been hit on immigration up till now, but it was not a good showing for Marco Rubio right here. | |
| We need more security. | |
| We need more scrutiny. | |
| Once again, Marco opposed this. | |
| So Marco can't have it both ways. | |
| He thinks he wants to be this, oh, I'm great and strong on national defense. | |
| But he's the weakest of all the candidates on immigration. | |
| He is the one for an open border that is leaving us defenseless. | |
| If we want to defend the country, we have to defend against those who are coming in. | |
| And Marco has more of an allegiance to Chuck Schumer and to the liberals than he does to conservative policy. | |
| And there's the uncomfortable smile from Rubio. | |
| And it was a good moment for Rand Paul and not a good moment for Marco Rubio when this happens because the Gang of Eight is the skeleton in Marco Rubio's closet. | |
| It's his only major legislative achievement. | |
| He really hasn't done a lot else in the Senate. | |
| And so this really hurt Marco Rubio pretty badly. | |
| Now the only thing that saved Marco Rubio is that Rubio then tried to tie himself to Cruz on immigration and Cruz had his worst moment. | |
| So Cruz's worst moment came when Cruz was trying to explain his own immigration policy and at one point, we don't have the clip, but there was one point where Cruz was asked about his immigration policy and Cruz Actually said that he did not intend to legalize illegal immigrants now that as a lawyer That's legal language once you say do not intend that means well might happen But people don't want to hear it might happen that you're going to legalize all of these illegal immigrants. | |
| So that was a poor movement for Cruz. | |
| It could have been a big night for Cruz. | |
| It ended up being kind of a mediocre night for Cruz, which means a big night for Donald Trump. | |
| But Cruz and Rubio went out at a fair bit and it got very wonkish, but a lot of this stuff is actually pretty important. | |
| So here is Cruz versus Rubio on the collection of phone records, for example. | |
| I would note that Marco knows what he's saying isn't true. | |
| Mark Levin wrote a column last week that says that the attack ads that Super PAC is running, that are saying the same thing, that they are knowingly false, and they are, in fact, Alinsky-like attacks like Barack Obama. | |
| And the reason is simple. | |
| What he knows is that the old program covered 20% to 30% of phone numbers to search for terrorists. | |
| The new program covers nearly 100%. | |
| That gives us greater ability So let me just be very clear. | |
| and he knows that that's the case. - Senator, Senator, please respond. - Let me be very careful in answering this, because I don't think national television in front of 15 million people is the place to discuss classified information. | |
| So let me just be very clear. | |
| There is nothing that we are allowed to do under this bill that we could not do before. | |
| This bill did, however, take away a valuable tool that allowed the National Security Agency and other intelligence agencies to quickly and rapidly access phone records match them up with other phone records to see who terrorists have been calling. | |
| Because I promise you, the next time there is an attack on this country, The first thing people are going to want to know is why didn't we know about it and why didn't we stop it? | |
| And the answer better not be because we didn't have access to records or information that would have allowed us to identify these killers before they attacked us. | |
| So this is actually a better moment for Rubio. | |
| Now, the fact is that what Rubio is saying here on the USA Patriot Act is not actually true. | |
| According to Mike Lee, who's one of the sponsors of that act, there were certain powers of the federal government to check out terrorism that were expanded under the new version of the USA Freedom Act, is what they call it. | |
| It was sort of a replacement for the Patriot Act. | |
| And so it's an interesting debate. | |
| But it underscores the fact that the debates between Rubio and Cruz are basically minutia, except for foreign policy. | |
| When it comes to foreign policy, this is really where the gap opens wide. | |
| And last night you saw it. | |
| So basically, Trump and Cruz are sort of in the middle on foreign policy. | |
| You've got Rand Paul off on the isolationist end, and you've got Marco Rubio in the interventionist sector of the Republican Party. | |
| Marco Rubio says we should have gone into Libya. | |
| It was the right move to get rid of Gaddafi. | |
| He says we should depose Assad, presumably in favor of moderate Muslim rebels. | |
| We don't know these people. | |
| Ted Cruz says let's not depose dictators until we know who's going to replace them. | |
| And Donald Trump says sort of the same thing, except more bombastically. | |
| And then you have, on the other end, you have Rand Paul who says we shouldn't touch anybody anywhere. | |
| We should basically leave everybody alone at all times. | |
| The fact that Rand Paul was on one end makes Cruz and Trump look more moderate because now they look like they're in the center of the gamut. | |
| It doesn't look like Cruz is an isolationist. | |
| It looks like he's a realist and Rand is the isolationist. | |
| So that contrast actually helps Cruz a fair bit and that's good. | |
| I think that's a positive development. | |
| I think that is a debate that's worth having. | |
| Again there were some substantive debates last night that were worth having. | |
| The problem is that none of them actually It's not a lack of competence that is preventing the Obama administration from stopping these attacks. | |
| substantive debates. | |
| Everything with Trump was done at surface level. | |
| Everything with Trump was done at surface level. | |
| Now, I will say that Cruz did have one moment that I thought was very good last night. | |
| Cruz had one moment, and it was when he was talking about political correctness. | |
| Here's what Cruz had to say about political correctness with regard to the war on terror. | |
| It's not a lack of competence that is preventing the Obama administration from stopping these attacks. | |
| It is political correctness. | |
| We didn't monitor the Facebook posting of the female San Bernardino terrorist because the Obama DHS thought it would be inappropriate. | |
| She made a public call to jihad and they didn't target it. | |
| The Tsarnaev brothers, the elder brother made a public call to jihad and the Obama administration didn't target it. | |
| communicated with Anwar al-Awlaki, a known radical cleric, asked about waging jihad against his fellow soldiers. | |
| The problem is because of political correctness, the Obama administration, like a lot of folks here, want to search everyone's cell phones and emails and not focus on the bad guys, and political correctness is killing people. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Okay, so I actually agree with Cruz here. | |
| The idea is, and I've said this, with regard to multiculturalism, if you insist that all cultures are equally culpable for violence, then what you end up doing is violating everyone's civil liberties in order to keep us safe. | |
| Because the fact is, you're either going to go after the people who are most suspicious, or you're not. | |
| You're either going to treat people as all equally suspicious, or you're not. | |
| And so what Cruz is saying is you target the right people and that's how you get this done. | |
| I agree with Cruz. | |
| I think this is why Rubio's attacks on Cruz didn't have quite as much impact as Cruz's attacks on Rubio. | |
| Cruz attacked Rubio on immigration, this would be clip 7, and this was an effective attack on Rubio on immigration, whereas I think that Rubio's national defense slander against Cruz really didn't stick because nobody sees Cruz as weak on national defense. | |
| They don't consider him to be an isolationist in the same way that Rand Paul, for example, is an isolationist. | |
| And this also goes to trust. | |
| Listen, on campaign trails, candidates all the time make promises. | |
| You know, Marcos said he learned that the American people didn't trust the federal government. | |
| He campaigned in Florida promising to lead the fight against amnesty. | |
| He campaigned promising to lead the fight against amnesty. | |
| - Gentlemen, this is why-- - Stand by, stand by, Senator Cruz. | |
| Can you answer that question, please? - Does Ted Cruz rule out ever legalizing people that are in this country illegally now? - Senator Cruz? - I have never supported legalization. | |
| Do you rule it out? | |
| I have never supported legalization, and I do not intend to support legalization. | |
| And let me tell you how you do this. | |
| What you do is you enforce... Okay. | |
| What you do is you enforce the law. | |
| Ms. | |
| Fiorina, Ms. | |
| Fiorina, please wait your turn. | |
| We're going to get to you on this. | |
| Go ahead, Senator. | |
| Sorry, you haven't gotten to me. | |
| Senator, go ahead. | |
| And then it just evolves. | |
| Okay, so Carly Fiorina, by the way, had a very bad debate. | |
| You've noticed I haven't mentioned Carly Fiorina here. | |
| That's because she's irrelevant. | |
| First of all, I don't know where she got that necklace. | |
| Flava Flav? | |
| I mean, it looks like she literally found Christ's cross and then hung it around her neck there. | |
| I mean, can you send a deeper signal to the voters of Iowa that you're a Christian than that? | |
| You might as well just have like a big neon sign over your shoulders that says, I believe in Jesus. | |
| I mean, that's just... | |
| There's the subtle cross, and then there's what she's wearing right there, which looks like it's something out of a bad gangster movie. | |
| Her interfering right there in what was a pretty crucial exchange actually was damaging to Rubio, because Rubio actually had Cruz on the ropes a little bit on the immigration issue right there, and Cruz was able to escape. | |
| But all of this is to say that a lot of these candidates damaged each other. | |
| A lot of these candidates hit each other, and a lot of these candidates smacked each other, and a lot of that did not And well, for anyone except for Donald Trump, who ended up doing very well on all of this, to the point where one of the most entertaining exchanges where Donald Trump was basically patting Ted Cruz on the head over not insulting him. | |
| Here is Donald Trump with Ted Cruz. | |
| So why would you be willing to put somebody who's a maniac one heartbeat away from the president? | |
| But I've gotten to know him over the last three or four days. | |
| He has a wonderful temperament. | |
| He's just fine. | |
| Don't worry about it. | |
| Okay. | |
| And I can't think of anything much more condescending than that from Donald Trump. | |
| But, you know, there's a reason that Cruz isn't attacking Trump, and it's because he feels like Trump's support eventually is going to bleed over to him once the aura of inevitability and invincibility has been pricked a little bit. | |
| So, that's how it works out. | |
| But, big winner of the night is Donald Trump. | |
| Big loser of the night is probably Marco Rubio. | |
| Although, it's hard to say that John Kasich is ever the winner of the night. | |
| John Kasich is always the loser of the night. | |
| Every night. | |
| John Kasich actually said in this debate that he's been accused by people. | |
| First of all, didn't he give himself a nickname a couple of debates ago? | |
| He said he was like, people call me Big-Hearted John or something. | |
| No one has ever called you that. | |
| And then last night he said, some people say I have too big a heart. | |
| No, mostly people say you have too big a mouth. | |
| But John Kasich is constantly injecting himself. | |
| But I just don't know why he's still sticking around. | |
| In any case, how this is going to work out right now is if you look at the primary schedule, you have to figure that Cruz wins Iowa, it looks like Trump might win New Hampshire, and then it's a Trump-Cruz race all the way down to the wire. | |
| And if that's the case, the establishment Republican Party is going to kill itself. | |
| You will see 1929-style people throwing themselves off ledges. | |
| It's the end of the world if Donald Trump is the nominee. | |
| It's not great. | |
| I don't think Donald Trump is a real conservative. | |
| I don't think he believes in small government, for example. | |
| Is it the end of the world? | |
| No, I don't think it's the end of the world. | |
| Do I think that Donald Trump could beat Hillary Clinton? | |
| In some ways, I think yes, because I think that the kind of entertainment value he brings, like I say, you never know when Donald Trump is going to hit somebody in the face with a toaster. | |
| And if it's Hillary Clinton, there are a lot of people out there who are sort of rooting for that. | |
| Obviously, we're speaking figuratively, folks. | |
| No one wants people physically beaten. | |
| Okay, so in any case, I want to finish the debate analysis with this. | |
| There is this clip of, and I just have to play this because it's funny, Chris Matthews was asked about having to thrill up his leg from Barack Obama by somebody over at Newsbusters, and Chris Matthews did not like the question at all in any way. | |
| How is your leg? | |
| The leg. | |
| Is the thrill still there in the leg? | |
| What was that? | |
| Is the leg okay? | |
| Did the thrill go away with surgery or did it just go away on its own? | |
| We're rooting for you. | |
| We're rooting for you over at MRC, man. | |
| Good meeting you. | |
| Go to hell, go to hell. | |
| It's pretty funny stuff. | |
| So Chris Matthews, apparently the thrill is gone from his leg and he will survive it. | |
| Alright, let's talk about some things I like and some things I hate. | |
| So things I like. | |
| There was a hashtag that was going around that I've been meaning to get to for a couple of days. | |
| And it was hashtag explain a film plot badly. | |
| And it was very funny because basically it's people trying to explain film plots but doing a terrible job of it. | |
| So for example, I explained the film plot of Star Wars as follows. | |
| Boy makes out with sister. | |
| Boy has hand cut off by father. | |
| Boy makes friends with teddy bears. | |
| Right, so that'd be explaining a film plot badly. | |
| Of course, the classic of this genre comes courtesy of TV Guide several years ago. | |
| Somebody did a synopsis of The Wizard of Oz that said, in a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets, then teams up with three strangers to kill again. | |
| Which is spectacular. | |
| So if you want to have some fun today, go on Twitter and find the hashtag ExplainAFilmPlotBadly because it's very funny. | |
| Okay, things I hate. | |
| So, a couple of quick things I hate because we're running out of time. | |
| So, one thing that I definitely hate. | |
| Today, there was a Twitter exchange between me and Patton Oswalt. | |
| I didn't hate the Twitter exchange. | |
| I think Twitter is a fun place. | |
| What always becomes annoying is that the Twitter exchange tends to extend so that somebody can get the last word eventually. | |
| And so it just kind of goes on too long. | |
| And I'll admit that I do that sometimes, and here I probably did it a little bit too long. | |
| But the other thing that ends up happening is that people sort of bring their followers into the fight. | |
| So I have 140,000 followers on Twitter, thereabouts. | |
| Patton Oswalt has like 2.4 million, because he's this, if you haven't heard of Patton Oswalt, he's this short, fat mediocrity of a comedian who makes a lot of jokes about atheism, comic books, and Lord of the Rings, and curses a lot, and then plays Remy the Rat in Ratatouille. | |
| That's who Patton Oswalt is. | |
| And he's worth, according to the internet, of the all-knowing sources of the internet, he's worth $14 million. | |
| Well, he tweeted out, this whole thing started with Patton Oswalt tweeting out that what he learned from the Republican debate is that we desperately, desperately need We desperately need Bernie Sanders. | |
| That's what he actually tweeted out. | |
| We desperately need Bernie Sanders. | |
| And so I tweeted out at him that if that's what you learn, then you may have some problems. | |
| Because, seriously, Bernie Sanders? | |
| And then Patton Oswalt called me a neocon, which, for those who are ignorant like Patton Oswalt, he's either ignorant or he's an anti-Semite. | |
| Because, number one, I don't agree with the so-called neocons like Irving Kristol. | |
| And second, so if you're lumping me in with Irving Kristol, there's only two reasons to do that. | |
| One, because you think all right-wingers agree with Irving Kristol, which is you being stupid. | |
| Or two, because Irving Kristol and I are both Jews, in which case you're anti-Semitic. | |
| So, I mentioned both of these possibilities. | |
| He got very upset. | |
| It went back and forth. | |
| And finally, I asked him the question he refused to answer no less than ten times on Twitter. | |
| What is your net worth, you socialist? | |
| Because all these people who like to jabber about income inequality are perfectly happy to live in a magical world where they get to earn Well, apparently $14 million is his net worth, according to the interwebs. | |
| So he earns a lot of money, but he wants your money to go to the federal government. | |
| He has hidden all of his money away in banks somewhere, so he doesn't really have to worry about it. | |
| Bernie Sanders doesn't want a wealth tax, he only wants an income tax, of course. | |
| That's very convenient. | |
| So that's a thing that I hate. | |
| Comedians thinking that they understand politics or economics or anything of any real value. | |
| My favorite part is where he tried to explain to me that science meant that men could become women and that transgenderism was not a mental disorder. | |
| It was a real physical change that could occur in a human being. | |
| To which I said, no, that's called magic. | |
| It's not called science. | |
| There's no science by which chromosomes magically change from X to Y. It just doesn't work that way. | |
| But he and his all-knowing scientific wisdom, having played the very scientific part of a rat that forgoes cheese in favor of combinations of different spices, he knows better. | |
| So, Patton Oswalt, idiot of the day. | |
| Alright, so, another thing that I hate, a little bit of deconstructing the culture, Miley Cyrus now has a new music video, and we could do this every week with Miley Cyrus, because Miley Cyrus is all that is wrong with humanity. | |
| She's not sexy, she's not interesting, she's just nihilistic, and she's looking for boundaries to cross because she's such a sad little person, she really is. | |
| I mean, if you look into those vacant eyes, And don't get sucked, feel your soul being sucked away from you, then what you see is a desperate girl, a girl who is desperate for attention, and you can see it in everything she does. | |
| She's just desperate, desperate for attention. | |
| She's now done something that the left routinely likes to do, and that is mix up sex and childhood. | |
| And this really is perverse. | |
| Okay, it's one thing for her to do the, I'm a pansexual, I'll have sex with anything that can consent, right? | |
| Dogs, trees, people, anything, it doesn't matter. | |
| That's one thing, and it's stupid enough, and it's immoral enough, but For her to mix up her own sexuality with children is actually perverse because now people start to see children sexually. | |
| That's the goal of mixing up the two. | |
| Why else would you do it? | |
| So here's Miley Cyrus doing just that in a video she calls Baby Talk and we're only gonna get through 30 seconds of this before I vomit like Linda Blair in The Exorcist and my head turns around and it's just a giant stream of green goo everywhere. | |
| So let's start with Miley Cyrus here. | |
| I don't want to feel this feeling because my energy is just so strong that I don't know if I'm creating this or if this is actually what is meant to be. | |
| And, you know, they say that you've got to think what you want into existence, but, you know, I've never been too good at making decisions. | |
| So I have no idea what the fuck I got. | |
| And there she is, Carson. | |
| You're giving me a feeling in my head. | |
| Laying in my bed, just thinking. | |
| And I'll relieve you. | |
| Okay, wait a minute. | |
| I mean, we've seen the imagery. | |
| It's really gross and perverse. | |
| I mean, she's doing the whole baby doll routine. | |
| This was controversial back in the movie. | |
| In the 1960s, there was a movie in which a girl did this, and she played, like, the baby doll sexy thing. | |
| It was very, very controversial at the time. | |
| Now we've left all controversy behind, so she can play an actual infant, sexualizing infants, and people are going to pretend like this is okay, because it's just art. | |
| It's just something that she does. | |
| Mixing up sex and death is evil. | |
| Mixing up sex and childhood is evil. | |
| Perverting children is truly evil. | |
| I mean, protecting the innocence of kids should be something that's near the top of our list in terms of priorities as a society. | |
| The fact that so much of Hollywood doesn't want to do that really is Quite perverse. | |
| So, that is it for things that I hate, and Miley Cyrus continues to be near the top of that list. | |
| She is indeed a thing, and indeed a thing that I hate. | |
| So, there you are. | |
| Tomorrow we will be back with more, and I'm sure Trump will be topping the polls again. | |
| Trump has a relatively clear path to the nomination at this point, unless the establishment gets together and does something they don't want to do. | |
| Back Ted Cruz, which is the end of the world for them. | |
| Jeb Bush, by the way, final note, Jeb Bush has said today he might not support Donald Trump if Donald Trump is the nominee. | |
| So remember when everybody in the Tea Party was supposed to support John McCain and Mitt Romney because we all had to unite to defeat Barack Obama? | |
| The establishment doesn't feel the same necessity so long as they don't get their guy. | |
| Which sort of tells you the future of the Republican Party and we will talk about all of that tomorrow. | |
| I'm Ben Shapiro. |