Travis, Emma, and Brandon lead the show this time. This week, Trump thinks he might be arrested for January 6 (again). Disney claims photos from the set of Snow White were fake, but psych! They're very real and ridiculous. The trio also discuss what they've been consuming this past week with some game, TV show, and book recommendations. This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out: Allegiance Gold: http://protectwithbee.com Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/?utm_source=The+Babylon+Bee&utm_medium=omni&utm_campaign=thebabylonbee Issues Etc. http://issuesetc.org My Patriot Supply: preparewithbee.com Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans?utm_source=PYT&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=description The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee Podcast: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebabylonbeepodcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/babylonbeepod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBeePodcast
Trump thinks that he might be arrested again for his role in January 6, Groundhog Day, Trump Edition.
Disney claims the leaked Snow White set photos are fake, but are they really?
I know.
In N Out is implementing a mask policy for employees.
Their policy?
No more masks.
You know what's great?
Maple syrup.
All this and more on the Babylon Bee Podcast.
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Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the Babylon Bee Podcast.
Welcome, Kyle.
Now, my name is Travis.
Kyle is on assignment in the Peruvian jungles, spelunking underneath Machu Picchu, looking for buried gold.
But joining me today is Emma.
Yes.
And Brandon.
I'm Chinese.
Emma, are you Chinese?
No.
Oh, sad.
I'm just white.
Oops.
Okay, well, I smacked this.
Like a classic white person.
Welcome to the Babylon P Podcast, the only podcast that gives you the news.
And today we'll be bringing you the news.
We'll also be bringing you a consume segment where we talk about what we're consuming, like good Christians, focused on materialistic things.
We'll also drag Adam Jenser into the studio to do weekly news.
Oh, nice.
Then we have a Bible verse of the week.
Oh, only one per week.
I see.
Only one.
As per is written.
Yeah.
So let it be written, so let it be done.
We also have hate mail and subscriber for subscribers only.
We are answering your questions about Babylon Bee video productions.
But what if I wanted to answer those questions?
If you wanted to answer those questions, you would have had to become a subscriber, Travis.
And by that, I mean ask, because they will not be answering the questions.
Okay.
Got it.
In that case.
I messed up my words.
Okay.
Yeah.
But speaking of things that get mixed up, here's a shirt.
We have a new t-shirt.
It's the experts versus conspiracy theorists scorecard t-shirt.
And it shows beautifully rendendered.
Experts are not in the lead compared to the conspiracy theorists when it comes to certain things like where the COVID virus came from, where who funded this said research, and many, many, many other things.
And all those answers to those questions is Fauci.
And all of those answers are embedded into the fine lines of this shirt if you look really closely with a microscope.
Microfiber.
It's microfiber technology implemented by nano robots, nanotech.
It's all created with currently existing technology.
But where can we find this, Travis?
We can find it on the internet.
And you can find this beautiful shirt at shop.shop.
Shop.Babylon B. You can find this shirt at shop.babylonbee.com.
And we did not edit this down to remove all the flubs.
I said that perfectly the first time.
But before we get into the news, which obviously there's a lot of news going on, like every week.
But first, let's take a moment and really get down into the word and discuss the Bible verse of the week.
And now it's time for the Babylon Bee's Bible verse of the week.
Amen.
In the authorized King's language, of course.
Of course.
Yes.
So you are a woman.
So you're going to read it.
I give you permission to read.
So I won't be preaching this, but I'll read it.
And the priest shall burn them upon the altar.
It is the food of the offering made by fire for a sweet savor.
All the fat is the Lord's.
Leviticus 3.16.
This verse really speaks to me because several months ago, I went on my own weight loss journey.
And as I'm losing the weight, I'm reminding myself that it belongs to the Lord and I'm giving that up from my body unto the Lord.
That's how I'm taking that.
That's how you're doing it.
There are people that work out for God.
Have you ever seen that?
Where they like work out and they do it to Christian music.
And then they're like, we're going to dedicate this worship to Jesus or like as worship.
Like jazzer size with gospel music.
Absolutely.
Is that what you're doing?
Yes.
And you're like, this fat is the Lord's.
No, no, no heathen workouts for me.
Not anymore.
Do you have like scripture on your weights?
Yes.
I have my Bible on my weights and every time I lift it I can read another word.
That's actually a pretty way to do it.
Actually a long time ago we designed some all the fat belongs to the Lord Leviticus 316 t-shirts and we were only going to sell them in XXXL or Laringer.
But yeah, never went through the pipeline for some reason.
Oh, so they offer them in smaller sizes?
No, we never even put them up on our show.
Oh, okay.
I thought I saw them.
Well, it never went through the pipeline because you can't fit a shirt through a pipe.
The clogs.
Very astute, Travis.
So what's in the news this week?
What's in the news this week?
Trump has been told by special counsel that he is the criminal target in the January 6th probe.
Special counsel Jack Smith sent Trump a target letter informing him that he's the target of a January 6th investigation.
Trump says indictment is likely to follow.
Sad.
And he posted on Truth Social in all caps.
Witch hunt, crooked Joe Biden and his injustice department want to indict and arrest his presumed political opponent, me, who is leading him in the polls in the upcoming presidential election of 2024.
Such a thing has never happened in our country before.
And in the middle of a campaign, triple question marks, election interference, and prosecutorial misconduct.
So what do you think of this?
Do you think Trump should be indicted?
I think you need to read it first.
I don't think you can comment on it until you read into this as Trump himself.
Yes.
Thoughts?
Are you going to do it?
Oh.
You know, I never went and watched that video where he, where everyone said it sounded like he was telling them to go inside the Capitol.
But then, I don't know, I just want this to be over.
I want something new and crazy to happen so we can stop talking about this.
I would love for justice to come to fruition.
I do not believe this is real justice in the sense that he very clearly stated peacefully, protest.
Make your voice heard peacefully.
The most violent rhetoric he probably used was something about fight for our country.
And that's very common vernacular for politicians to use that terminology, fight.
So I don't think that that quite stands up to the test of incitement.
However, I don't know.
If they have more evidence, let's hear it.
But also, you know, let's be fair.
Let's combat corruption on all sides.
This obviously is very targeted.
So let justice be served and let justice be served equally to everyone.
Wasn't Nancy Pelosi told that or asked to increase protection at the White House and she turned it down?
Correct.
She pulled a Clinton Benghazi situation and turned it down.
But no one died.
But at this point, what difference does it make?
Well, I think if we're holding that claim.
And then I don't know what she would actually be accountable for.
And it just raises questions, and it just seems clear that the justice system is not acting equally towards any potential or incitements.
Would you definitely go on the record of saying this is election interference?
I would go on the record.
That's it.
I was trying to think of something.
I couldn't think of it.
Well, speaking of prosecutorial misconduct, Snow White movies happening.
In Disney News.
Hey guys, Kyle here.
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And they don't have seven dwarfs.
It's Snow White, Dot Dot Dot.
Uh, they have one little person casted.
And then I think Peter Dinklich went on a rampage and criticized the whole thing about how you can't have seven dwarfs living in a cave.
It's a, it's a fairy tale, it's not.
No one is saying Peter Dinklich, go live in a cave.
Well, I was, but he didn't hear me.
So for different reasons, I think one of my favorite parts about this story is these photos leaked in Disney immediately with uh, with PR.
They were like these photos are fake uh, do not pay attention to these photos behind the curtain, and immediately had to backtrack and say, well, They were real, but you know, they weren't official set photos, but they were trying to give the impression that they were entirely fake.
And that makes me wonder, are they going to take this and immediately backtrack and try to wipe this and redo all the costumes and potentially redo some casting?
Or are they just going to keep rolling with it and trust that they will have enough of an audience to throw their money at them willingly?
Is it too far into production to recast all six regular height people?
To recast, maybe, but maybe to change the costumes?
I don't know where they are in production.
It's not enough to change the costumes.
It's so ridiculous looking.
It is way too bright.
Her costume is okay because that matches the cartoon version.
Yeah.
I additionally like that when Disney first came out and said it was fake, I looked at it and I was like, oh yeah, that is clearly overly cartoonish AI.
This is AI generated.
There's no way it could be this bad.
And it was.
It was.
And the dwarf in the very back, the tallest dwarf, he's got this headscarf.
He looks like a grandma.
Yeah.
Bearded grandma.
I'm not saying they're doing it, but it almost looks like they're going to be like, oh, he's a female dwarf.
They already have a female dwarf.
Why do they need another one?
Well, that one is Tranny.
does she work in the coal mines too like that's not women don't work in the coal mines Isn't that their job?
They mine dying gems.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's not a women job.
Which dwarf is your favorite?
Which non-dwarf is your favorite?
Oh, of this picture?
Probably the dwarf.
He looks the happiest.
He looks like he's having the best time.
I bet his name is Happy.
The guy right behind him.
Happy the dwarf.
The guy right behind him looks like the most pleasant guy to hang out with, though.
Dwarf.
Are they all related in the original story?
They're all related, seven dwarfs.
Well, why are they all named so oddly?
The one in the middle looks like he's murdered someone.
He looks like a pirate.
Yeah, the pirate.
Pirate.
Pirate-y.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you didn't single out the black dwarf for that.
That would have been really inappropriate.
I wasn't even thinking about that.
There are three black dwarfs.
No.
Well, I'm singling out the murderer dwarf, and that's the one in the middle.
Four white dwarfs.
Sorry.
Anyways, it's certainly a travesty that they're taking away jobs from persons of diminutive stature.
But imagine how good that one dwarf is if he made it in there.
Yeah, he's the best.
What a dwarf.
He's the best of all the dwarfs.
Will you go see this movie?
I will most likely not see this movie.
Will you go on the record right now saying that this movie is a source of terrorism?
I will go on the record.
In other dudes, In-N-Out employees in five U.S. states will no longer be allowed to wear masks as part of the new company guidelines that emphasize the importance of customer service, most notably showing their smiles.
But that's insane.
There's a virus out there.
There is a virus out there.
I was in a doctor's office one time and they required you to wear masks in the doctor's office.
And I probably too loudly for my own sake and for the sake of my wife's embarrassment, I said a little too loudly, oh, I guess this doctor's office doesn't believe in science.
I said it loud enough for other people to hear, but I'm not sure being afraid.
Like, sorry, the doctor's not available right now.
You have to go.
Yeah, I had to reschedule to see Dr. Fauci another day.
So how do you feel about this masking, not masking?
I'm not a fan of masks, but I still wouldn't smile.
But I'm less of a fan of smiling.
would sometimes i liked wearing the mask so i don't have to smile at people you know when you did you ever tell like did you ever tell people that you were smiling like visual descriptors of the expressions on your face because they couldn't see it I think people can tell.
I am smiling right now beneath this mask.
Believe you me, that joke you told was my AI programming is much more sophisticated than that.
Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I know not to do that because that's what the internet says about social norms for humans.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Well, that's.
But I hate when I worked in retail and I hate when people say you need to smile more.
You know, it's like, okay.
Was that because you were an employee or because you're a woman?
Probably because of the woman thing.
A little bit of both.
Yeah.
I got that when I worked in retail, though.
And I am not a woman.
Yeah.
People go, you need to smile more.
And I was like, that's how women feel.
That's just the Stater Brothers crap.
That wasn't the only job I had.
It's like, I'm, especially as cashier, like, you're already checking out.
You're not going to buy more if I smile.
Yeah, you're checking them out and you're checking out mentally.
However, if they have a friendly experience throughout the entire store experience, are they more likely to come back?
Can I be friendly and not smile?
Yes.
No, it's impossible.
It is possible.
Do not listen to that.
If I scratch my eyebrows and empathy, does that help with the come back and buy stuff?
I would like to see you as a cashier, like extremely polite, but staring at the customer dead-eyed.
I don't think I'm, I don't think I was extremely polite.
It's like, oh, hi.
Thank you so much for coming.
Thank you for so much for coming.
Oh, man.
Oh, these cabbages, that's a great deal today.
Yeah, I think I'll go get some of those too.
You know, I did.
But expressionless.
I did run the checkstand at Stater Brothers before.
And I never once went like, oh, cabbages.
Great deal on cabbages.
Good job, lady.
Did you do that with lettuce?
Yeah, I did with lettuce.
If I said that, I'd be so depressed to be like, oh, cabbages, yay.
I can't even fake that.
You know?
That's usually the small talk I make with cashiers because I'm like, man, great price on these ribs, huh?
It's like, oh, I got to pick some up myself.
So that's, I guess that's my move so that I don't have to stand there in silence.
I usually just stand there in silence.
They're working.
They don't care.
They don't care.
I mean, I didn't care.
I didn't care if people were on their phones.
I didn't care.
I'm also enthusiastic about ribs.
I guess if you were really enthusiastic about it.
Yeah.
I had people tell me, like, you know, there's a lot of sexist women who would tell me like, you need to get married or like, you need to leave or you need to go back to college.
Like, that's so rude.
I'm in college full-time and I'm working a job.
Did you get married though?
Not at the grocery store.
Was it because of the prompting?
Yeah, did you?
When she said that, I was like, you know what?
She's right.
I am 17 years old, but I need to get married.
And you did that weekend.
And I did.
And it was illegal at the time, but Pennsylvania overlooked it.
One of the weirdest checkstand experiences, is that a thing, checkstand?
Cashier experiences I've ever had was in the grocery store.
It's called a checkstand.
It was a grocery store.
So I was buying a bottle of cough syrup and the cashier checked for my ID.
And then she said, you know, kids use this to make drugs, right?
I was like, oh, my wife's sick.
And she's like, don't do drugs.
You have so much to live for.
What?
Call your mother.
Tell you you love her.
Wow.
All this for me buying a bottle of cough syrup.
Well, you only bought the cough syrup, right?
Well, I did buy some methamphetamine as well.
So that's probably where it came from.
Every time I get pseudo-fed and the line is taking forever, I'm like, oh, I just need to make drugs.
Like, let me have my pseudo-fed.
As they slowly put it behind the counter.
You know, my weirdest checkstand story isn't really at a checkstand because it was at the pharmacy.
Because it was at the delivery site.
Yeah.
All right.
But I was at the pharmacy and I was trying to get some medicine for my wife for, I forget, her headaches or something.
And it was one of those things where even though it was not, it was over the counter, you still had to show your ID for it.
And so I did.
And then they looked at it and went, uh no.
And I said, well, that's me.
The problem was that I was like 35 and the picture was from when I was 17 because it was from when I first got my license.
And I had changed over like however many years that was.
Can we throw up a picture of Travis as a teenager on here?
Yeah, I have the license.
Oh, you still have it?
I still have it.
As a 17-year-old, you never had a retake.
Do you want to show it to me?
Get up and show it to the camera if it'll focus.
I don't know if it will.
Well, if not, we can add it.
I will not show my social story.
No, I wouldn't show your license.
It has your license.
Okay.
Wait, that's not it.
That's not it.
Apparently, I don't have it.
Never mind.
That's just me as a fat man.
Okay, we'll show it in post.
If we're sharing cashier stories, when I was a cashier, I had someone buy some chicken feed.
And when they were checking out, they asked me, they're like, so I have a three-legged chicken at home and I'm buying a two-legged chicken.
Does the two-legged chicken need less food than the three-legged chicken?
And they were so serious about it.
And I like looked them in the eye and I didn't laugh and I was like, no.
A two-legged chicken eats the same amount as a three-legged chicken.
They don't need as much nutrients.
They don't need as much nutrients, though, I think.
They don't need to feed the nutrients.
The three-legged chicken didn't make it, so I don't know if I gave them wrong advice.
Yeah, it needed way more food.
I don't know.
I think it's unrelated.
It needs extra food to compensate for the missing leg.
Final cashier story, just to wrap this up in a neat bow.
But just the other week, I was at a pharmacy and I noticed that the plexiglass shields had finally come down.
Oh, yeah.
So I made a comment about that to the pharmacist.
I said, oh, you're out of the birdcage, huh?
And she expressed that she like just, she felt psychologically like trapped in there, couldn't hear the customers.
A lot of customers were upset because they were like having to shout through the plexiglass and they couldn't hear each other.
So it's like this burden is coming to an end and people are now free to fly away.
Pharmacists can now fly freely.
That's the moral of the story.
Was that the inspiration for the movie Bird Box?
It was.
It was.
You want to take this next story, Emma?
Yes.
Where are we?
So Biden signed an order to have 3,000 reserve troops ordered to active duty and 450 from the IRR.
So I'm in the Army Reserve.
I've been in for eight years and I've never seen an order where they pulled IR soldiers or service members.
So IRR is the individual ready reserve.
And it's basically every contract or every initial contract has IR time where it's basically like this limbo, this purgatory of where you're not really doing anything for the Army.
But if they have to draft you for a war, they pull those people before they pull civilians.
Yeah, so they're doing that because of an Operation Atlantic Resolve that was created in 2014 about Russia and the issues with Ukraine or Russia.
So they're taking those Reserve, Navy, and Coast Guard people and they're deploying them for that operation.
But I was a little bit freaked out when I saw this because I was like, oh my gosh, are they going to make Army Reserve people go active duty?
So we're not losing you to Ukraine.
I am not going to Ukraine.
Yeah.
Because I'm not in the Navy because I'm not gay.
With three generations of Navy men in my family.
But 3,000 is kind of significant because I looked up, there's only about 60,000 Navy Reserve sailors.
And there's only 8,000 Coast Guard Reserve.
So 3,000 of those people is kind of significant to me.
You would say this is unprecedented.
Well, it's technically precedented.
But I would say I haven't seen this.
I don't know if it has happened.
There was a period of time in my life where I was considering a Coast Guard reserve because I was like, oh, yeah, they're the furthest pack, the last one to be called there.
Well, the Coast Guard isn't under the DOD.
So it does take the president to pull you because DOD can't just do what they want with you.
But, yeah, I would never.
Coast Guard, I just, I don't recommend joining smaller branches like the Marines or Coast Guard or Space Force.
I think larger branches have better benefits and opportunity.
But Space Force, you may eventually one day go to space.
I would love to go to Space Force, but I would never want to go to space.
Yeah.
Then why would you love to go to Space Force?
Because I would love to tell people that I'm in Space Force.
I don't think Space Force should exist either.
I don't think Marines should exist.
I think it should be absorbed into the Navy or the Army.
And I don't think that Space Force should have been created.
Should have stayed under.
There's already been a Space Battalion for like 100 years.
How about one new branch for each existing branch?
So Space Navy, Space Army.
Yeah.
Space Air Force.
Not even Space Air Force.
There's space operations with the Air Force.
Yeah.
But I did, I kept looking at when Space Force first came out or like was first created by Trump.
I would look up like every single day if they had chaplain assistants or public affairs because those are my two jobs.
So I was like, oh, I could change to a Space Force.
But they don't have a reserve.
Well, we're glad we're not losing you yet.
But if we do lose you, it'll be to Space Force.
It'll have to be the Space Force.
All right.
We have one more news story, and this one is not depressing.
It's not.
There is good in this world, Mr. Frodo.
And it's worth fighting for.
Food.
It's something we all take for granted.
Until it's gone.
As tensions continue to escalate, our fragile food supply chain will break again.
One news headline spreads panic like wildfire, and grocery stores are stripped bare within hours.
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Yay.
Travis, you want to take it?
Well, I have some good news for you all.
The Carnegie Hero Medal, awarded to civilians who put their lives in danger in an attempt to save others, was recently awarded to one Mickey Wilson.
Good old Mickey Wilson.
Mickey Wilson.
That's what I always say.
One and only.
In 2017, a man slipped from a ski lift and was rendered unconscious, hanging from a backpack around his neck.
That's terrifying.
But Mickey Wilson, despite having a broken hand, climbed a ski lift tower and walked 30 feet across the cable to cut away the backpack that was strangling the unconscious man.
Wilson, an experienced slackliner, was able to cross the cable as if it were a Pasadena suburban street.
The widest of all suburban streets, Pasadena.
That's so lucky that a slackliner just happens to be there.
If you believe in luck.
Why are you skiing with a broken hand?
I make my own luck.
I'm sorry.
Who goes skiing with a broken hand either?
Yeah, why was he?
I mean, it doesn't say he was skiing.
He just happened to be there.
And B, what if he broke his hand while skiing?
Yeah, what if he just broke it?
And decided.
How does he know it's broken?
Because it was falling off.
That's a little more than broken.
It's just flailing around like this.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, obviously it's a goddamn colour.
Look at this picture.
But that's so cool and a sign of God's providence that an experienced slackliner was able to cross 30 feet of what would otherwise be dangerous territory for most people.
Yeah.
And great advertising for that backpack.
I mean, the strap didn't break.
Now I want one.
I do.
It's fantastic.
So did you ever see a movie called Frozen?
Not the Disney.
There was one before called Frozen, and it was about people stuck in a ski lift.
No.
Oh, I did.
It's a horror movie.
Yeah, yeah.
I saw people stuck in the snow, but it wasn't a ski lift.
I don't know.
It sounds familiar where they're just stuck there.
Yeah, and then one of the guys dies.
Well, they like all die, but one of them definitely jumps and like snaps his leg because they're up really.
It does sound familiar.
Oh, they didn't try climbing.
Why didn't they climb the rope?
One of them did.
Ah, and didn't make it.
Let me tell you, didn't work out.
Sad.
Okay, if I was stuck there, why wouldn't you climb it, you know, with your, your, you can hook your feet over each other.
He was unconscious.
No, I mean, for the people in the movie.
Oh, God.
Like, I was actually stuck.
We don't care about Mickey Wilson anymore.
We'll care about the three fictitious figures.
Well, that's it for good news.
There is no more good news in the world.
Unless you have something to add, Chad?
No.
But hey, good news.
Yes.
Oh, it actually is good news.
So we have a banger of the week.
Oh.
This has never happened before in the history of this podcast.
Banger of the week.
Hi, I'm Adam Jenser, the Babylon Bee's resident Lutheran, and I'm one of the Good Ones Missouri Synod.
Are you looking for a new podcast?
Maybe one created by Lutherans?
Well, here's a podcast I recommend, Issues, etc.
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Listen at issuesetceter.org or your favorite podcast provider.
Go to issuesetceter.org today.
But we want to talk about an article that did very well for the Babylon Bee.
That article headline is, Authorities on Hunt for Arsonists Who Just Burned Down Three Presidential Campaigns.
And look at this picture of Tucker Carlson.
A gloating giant face of Tucker Carlson.
Does he look repentant?
No.
After just murdering three presidential candidates.
So, Brandon, what inspired this article that you did not write?
So I did not write this.
So there was a GOP candidate debate moderated by, or forum moderated by Tucker Carlson, and he took a lot of the candidates to task with the subject matter in which maybe they're not approaching with as much of a strong viewpoint as Tucker Carlson.
My viewpoint on this, I would be a little bit more charitable to some of the candidates.
I do agree that we need to hold all their feet to the fire.
However, the primary story that everyone took out of this, I believe, was strongly misrepresented, which was obviously the Mike Pence saying that, quote, he didn't care about issues relating to America, when it was very clear, if in full context of the clip, that he was referring to it's not his concern about the tanks being sent to Ukraine.
So I think that was a very uncharitable read.
It's poorly worded on his part.
Absolutely.
Because it's right after Tucker ends, like Tucker goes on for a while, and then he ends it with, so America is not your concern.
But he started with, oh, you're not concerned with, you are concerned with tanks going to Ukraine?
Yeah, it's not word of wall.
And then Pence is like, not my concern.
I think in Pence's defense.
It's the way he said it too.
There's not my concern.
It's like, well, what?
I think in Pence's defense, when you're asked a question, you're formulating the thought in your head as you're going.
And so Tucker was saying, why are you so concerned about the tanks being sent to Ukraine?
Why are you so concerned about the tanks being sent to Ukraine?
And Pence was forming in his head, I'm going to answer this with, that's not my concern, illustrating very clearly that I'm not concerned with sending tanks to Ukraine.
And it just, unfortunately, Tucker ended it with the American cities being burned to the ground.
I don't even get that, though.
Like, okay, what does he mean by he's not concerned with sending tanks to Ukraine?
Does that mean he wants to continue doing that?
Does that mean he doesn't mind that it's happening?
And then at the end, he's like, we can fix our problems here and we can be the world police.
And it's like, I don't agree with that.
I think our focus needs to be 90% on America and 10% on everything else.
I agree that our focus should be in America.
I don't think we, I'm not as fully non-interventionist as others, some other conservatives.
I believe there are certain factors, worldwide issues, that will affect the entire world.
I think it is in America's best interest for Russia not to invade another country.
But simultaneously, we have to recognize that there is significant corruption problems in Ukraine as well, and that our money is not being put to good use.
Are we spending too much money in Ukraine?
Absolutely.
Does that mean we should have absolutely nothing to do with world affairs?
And I don't believe that to be the case.
Though some libertarians might disagree.
For Ukraine, I just, they're not really focusing on the end goal.
It's like, okay, what's the end for Ukraine?
Are you going to stop penalizing your Christian churches there?
Are you going to have them join NATO?
Are you going to have them stop being corrupt?
What is the end goal?
Because, okay, Ukraine wins the war and Russia is weak.
Okay, awesome.
What do we do with that with Russia being weak?
How does that serve us?
And then with Ukraine being independent again, are they going to go back to being a terrible country?
Probably.
So I don't get that.
I think a large part is the energy dependence on Russia with many of the European countries relying on Russia.
So reducing that dependence.
Additionally, Russia, we know, are very bad actors on the world stage as far as being involved in military conflicts.
There is something to do.
There is something to say for having military strength so that they do not aggressively attack other countries in the future, because that really doesn't help anyone but the powerful dictators in Russia.
Dictators, plural.
Correct.
There's not just one dictator in Russia?
Well, when one dictator falls, then another will take his place.
Like Hydra.
Yes, exactly.
I think that's where it comes from.
If you kill Putin, then two more take his place at the same time.
Two more mini half-sized Putins will take his place.
They're standing on each other's shoulders in a trench coat.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just worry about our end goal.
And I, yeah.
I hope Russia doesn't do something dumb, you know, like attack somewhere else during this process.
Because they keep accidentally hitting Poland or like the border edges of Poland when they're shooting into Ukraine.
And it's like, how do you accidentally misaim a missile?
That too.
But I mean, they all have computer systems and stuff on them.
Yeah.
But at the same time, Ukraine has also accidentally hit Poland.
So said, oh, the Russians did it.
Look at it.
They're just trying to start more stuff.
While holding a detonator.
Yeah.
So there's a lot of blame going around.
And yeah, I kind of just want this behind us.
At the end of the day, I do believe strongly in holding Republican candidates' feet to the fire and getting clear answers, especially the ones where they've been historically more wishy-washy.
So Tucker did do a service in holding everyone's feet to the fire, including Nikki Haley about the Nord Stream pipeline, about Asa Hutchinson, about the COVID vaccines.
Asa Hutchinson quickly responded in a very witty fashion.
Well, how many COVID shots did you get, Tucker?
To which Tucker responded, none.
Oh, interesting.
So I think Tucker definitely serves an important role in holding people's feet to the fire.
But maybe also he shouldn't be giving much airtime to pornographers like Andrew Tate.
That's my two cents.
Yeah, I started watching it.
I think I got...
You started watching his pornography?
That's terrible.
Not...
Not his pornography.
Been there, done that.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I started watching the interview.
I didn't really know the controversy with Andrew Tate.
I didn't know he was a pornographer.
I thought it was the whole, oh, he teaches men to be men weird thing.
And I was trying to find out what kind of.
Because in the interview, he doesn't say anything bad.
He's like, I'm teaching men to go to the gym.
The thing is, Andrew Tate, a lot of what he says is correct.
However, a lot of his prescriptions are highly incorrect.
Yeah.
He's a deeply flawed, deeply, I would say evil person with his actions.
But that doesn't mean he sometimes says the right thing, which he does.
Yeah, it's confusing because I think the whole interview is, well, the left hates you because you're empowering men, which I disagree with that he's empowering men.
And then, because that's like the whole what Tucker Carlson seems to be getting out of him.
And then the whole human trafficking charges, he was not really charged with anything.
And there were no women that came up and said that he did anything.
Right, right, right.
And then he was in prison for three months in Romania.
And now he's out.
And so he made it seem like there might be something about that.
Like the left is trying to take him down.
And that's just, I don't know.
That might be possible.
But what's not in doubt is that Andrew Tate is a disgusting person.
That's it's just verifiable.
I don't think that he's a role model.
It's sad that men look up to him.
And it's like men who look up to Andrew Tate, I don't think are dateable.
You know, if you are looking for Andrew Tate for advice, I would not date a man.
If I was in my dating years and I found out that he watches Andrew Tate's podcast and was a Patreon, that would be a huge red flag.
Absolutely.
It's like, yeah.
And if he was a pornographer, it's like, wow, just double, double whammy.
Yeah.
And Andrew Tate really seemed to whitewash all of his behavior on the interview.
I don't know if you saw the interview or the whole interview, but I watched a portion of it because it's pretty long.
But he makes it a big thing about how, like, oh, well, the women want to do these things for me and stuff and all that stuff.
And some element of that might be true.
Some element of it might not be.
But regardless, he's trying to make it all like, it's fine.
There's nothing wrong with anything I did.
He's wrong.
Andrew Tate is a terrible person.
And speaking of terrible, here's our bomb of the week.
Bomb of the week.
So Truth Social to begin paying content creators in limited edition Trump NFT training cards.
I could see him doing that.
So in light of Twitter now monetizing the platform a little bit more, paying creators on Twitter and a little few pennies here and there.
Truth Social, the joke is that Truth Social will be paying their members with extremely valuable, one-of-a-kind.
One of a kind.
Trump NFT training cards.
I want one of those, actually.
Why don't we have one as the B?
Why didn't we get one of those?
They sold out.
Yeah.
They are actually pretty rare and lucrative because of that.
Yeah.
And he made like a second run, and I think they all sold out too.
What?
I don't know who's buying.
What's the legality of us making our own B-branded Trump NFTs?
I don't know because he's a public figure.
I think it's okay.
Okay, we're making our own, and we will own them personally.
We won't even sell them.
We won't even sell them.
That makes them more rare.
I think headlines that are longer don't do as well as the short, punchy ones.
Yeah.
So you were talking about how this was inspired by the Twitter content payments and stuff.
So people like Taylor Lorenz, who is also a content creator to an extent, she was mad at Elon Musk for paying right-wing people like Libs of TikTok to conservative content.
How dare they monetize their evil?
Yes.
And she also doxed Libs of TikTok.
And that was shortly after she was crying about being doxxed, wasn't it?
Absolutely.
She had her whole meltdown, and then she went and so Taylor Lorenz and are we allowed to say her name?
Well, Libs of TikTok.
It's public information now.
I think it is public, but maybe Aaron's side of content.
So Emma, I would like you, we're going to go through the message.
I want you to play the role of Taylor Lorenz.
Okay, done.
And Brandy, you can play the role of whatever the blue.
They've had a fraught history.
Let's just say that.
Okay.
So she messaged her on Twitter, and this is the message.
Hi, I'm doing a story on Twitter's monetization program for creators.
Did you receive any payout from Twitter?
I noticed that you haven't posted about it.
Is it because you weren't invited to participate?
To which Libs of TikTok responded, please include my full comment.
It's none of your business.
You've bragged about monetization previously on other platforms.
Were you not included in Musk's group?
Has your relationship with Twitter soured?
My relationship with Twitter has not soured.
In fact, it's thriving.
Elon and I are actually dating.
Please don't tell anyone because we're keeping it quiet.
You have a name for being trustworthy and honest, so I know that I can trust you with this information.
Nice.
We will note that in a tongue-in-cheek response, you claimed that your relationship with Musk was thriving, but you did not respond to a question about whether you were receiving payments under the program.
I'm writing a story on people who suffer from Elon Derangement Syndrome and refused to pay for a blue check and or took a lot of their content off of Twitter.
I'm curious if they have any regrets now that they're seeing creators get massive cash payouts.
Can you give a comment as I believe you fit this category?
No.
I will note that you declined to comment.
That's pretty great.
I'd like that her name is TaylorLawrens.substack.com.
Like, that's where you go, where you can support people.
Yeah.
Like, you're asking Libs of TikTok if she's being paid with your whole bio kind of asking people to pay you or support you.
Taylor Lorenz.
I just don't understand what Taylor Lorenz is even thinking, continuing to engage with someone that's brought her down so many pegs.
Well, that too, but also the whole story.
I mean, I guess I don't know for sure, but I don't think the monetization sharing is only for conservative Twitters.
It's based on how much you offend and how right-wing you are.
The more alt-right you are, the more you get paid.
Oh, okay.
Well, thank you.
I believe that's the moment.
I'm not alt-right enough.
Speaking of alt-right, let's try something that's alt-right.
Hey, Adam Jenser.
Tell me what the weekly news is.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
ABC has cast Jerry Turner, a 71-year-old grandfather, as its first golden bachelor, though they still haven't decided whether the rose ceremony will be open casket.
They've also cast some of the geriatric old ladies who will compete for his affection, 36-year-old Lauren, 37-year-old Tiffany, and Courtney, who's 40.
The trial started this week for a Florida family who sold bleach from an online church as a cure for COVID.
The prosecutor will argue that only Johnson and Johnson can dangerous, ineffective COVID cures.
Singer Wiz Khalifa said he was stoned AF on shrooms when he threw the opening pitch at a Pittsburgh Pirates game.
And he must have been because it was actually a t-ball game in North Dakota.
The heat index in southern Iran reached 152 degrees on Sunday, almost breaking Iran's previous heat record set inside Suleimani's Toyota.
That gets nothing?
You guys are the worst audience I've ever had in my entire life.
Jesse Waters' mom, who is a Democrat, called into his news.
Jesse Waters' mom, who is a Democrat, called into his new Fox News primetime show to congratulate him and warn him not to fall into conspiracy theory rabbit holes.
Tonight, Jesse will explore whether his mom's voice was faked by Chinese-backed AI.
A new study found that dogs evolved earlier than previously thought and may have coexisted with dinosaurs, which would explain how all the dinosaur bones got buried.
Maybe it wasn't Satan after all.
Scientists also now believe that dinosaurs went extinct because this pit bull killed their babies.
As the WJA strike continues, the actors union SAG AFTRA has now also voted to go on strike, which means Hollywood writers and actors are no longer allowed to work, but they can keep their day job at Starbucks.
A new Democrat-sponsored bill in the House would erase the terms husband and wife from federal law and replace them with the word spouse, or if Ilhan Omar gets her way, sibling.
This week, the Biden administration banned further U.S. funding of the Wuhan Institute of Virology in China, after which Dr. Fauci asked, is it still cool if I Venmo them or send some Amazon gift cards?
That's it for weekly news.
To see more, subscribe to my YouTube channel and come see me live.
I'll be at the Roll Call Theater in Atlanta on August 11th and at Gold Country Casino in Oroville, California on August 31st.
Whoa, Adam.
That was a bit much.
I like how we had two transitions there.
Which brings us into our next segment.
Oh, what's that?
This next segment, I will have Austin announce.
It's time to consume.
Whoa, Austin.
That's a bit much going on.
So what are you guys all consuming?
You mean other than the word of God?
Every day.
Yes.
Well, it does say anything that's spiritually edifying.
Would you like to start, Travis?
Oh.
I recently started consuming the second Mistborn book, Well of Ascension.
And boy.
Are my arms together?
Are my arms stuck?
I'm burning pewter right now just to finish reading.
How far are you?
I am three chapters in.
What did you think of the first book?
The first book I loved.
I loved it.
I loved it so much that I didn't continue the second book until several years later.
Well, you have to buy it.
I have a long problem with books.
I'm not going to get into that right now.
But I finally started it, and I'm really enjoying it, and I highly recommend it.
The first book was fantastic.
Brandon, what are all the allomantic medals?
Every single allomantic medal from 1 to 16 are as follows.
So the Bee Office is going through a little bit of a Mistborn renaissance.
I believe Joel just finished the first book as well.
Oh, I didn't realize that.
I believe Kyle just started the first book.
I want to do a reread a reread since you're you want to do a reread A re-re-reread.
Yeah.
We should do a B-reads Mistborn.
Maybe.
That would be great.
Not maybe.
One of the very first conversations I had ever had with Kyle was asking him if he'd ever read Mistborn, and he said no, and he had no interest in it.
And so the fact that he's actually, he actually just started it.
Wait, did he say no?
And then he actually went on the record saying like, and I have no interest in it.
For the record.
Well, he basically said, I don't see a point of reading any fantasy that's not Tolkien.
Oh, that's fine.
So he said no to you, and then Joel recommended it.
Probably, actually.
I don't know if Peyton has done a reread lately, but Peyton is the other Sanderson Fanderson.
Yeah, I could see some value of rereading the first book because it had been so long, but I'm kind of a slow reader, and I don't want to start over and never get to the second book.
Pre- or post-buz?
Pre-more so post-buzz.
Sure.
But pre, it was more like I'd get distracted and just be like, ooh, I'm glad you're reading.
That's a good one.
Anything else?
Oh, I guess, yes, I am consuming Call of Duty Cold War because it's free on PlayStation Plus right now.
I didn't even know that was a game.
It is an okay game.
That's my review.
How many genders can you choose?
You can choose zero.
You can only be the character that they give you.
How many trans flags can you wear?
None that I'm aware of.
Sounds like a great game.
It's okay.
It has that traditional Call of Duty.
Everything's scripted.
You know, you're just the AI is kind of boring because they're all just behind cover and you're just shooting.
But it mixes up a little bit of stealth gameplay in there because it's Cold War, you know?
So it gives me a little bit of very light goldeneye vibes for part of it, which I appreciate.
It fits your sneaky personality very well.
You heard it here first, even though it's like three years old now.
I started watching The Righteous Gemstones on HBO with my husband.
It's probably on strike now, but it's good.
It's not clean, but it's about a mega church and their leaders within that and crazy things that they get into.
So it's really funny.
So it's a fictitious show.
Yes, it is a fiction television series.
Being clear for our viewers because you could say, like, oh, it's not clean, but it's powerful and dramatic.
Because I mean, technically, it's not clean, but it is funny.
Yeah.
So, and there's some like moments in there that makes me think that they had a Christian on staff, which is cool.
Like, they'll make little comments.
Like, someone in class cut her hair, and so she was like, Oh, they Samsoned me.
Like, okay, you wouldn't know that reference if you didn't go to church.
So, I like that.
Do you find it's disrespectful of church culture, or is it primarily critiquing the corrupt denizens of corrupt church culture?
It's more about it's really less about the church and more about the family, but it does kind of shed a good light on mega churches, which I'm totally fine with that.
Right, right.
Um, but also, I did random hobbies recently.
I crocheted a bee.
Oh, would you like to show it?
I would.
So, there's the picture.
Um, I have a picture on my phone.
I don't have my phone with me.
Um, I crocheted a bee and I painted my dresser, so I like flipped that because I thought it would be cheaper to paint it than to buy a new one.
And I think I am incorrect.
Oh, I think it was the same amount of money because I don't have any painting supplies at all.
But now you do, so the next one will be better.
Now, hopefully, the pyramid scheme will continue.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And what a great picture of that dresser.
Wow.
Did you use chalk paint?
No.
I don't like how I've seen.
I couldn't find a good picture of chalk paint.
Got it.
But I didn't like how it finished all messy.
I want it to be clean.
It's a specific look for a specific type of person.
Like a homeless person.
No, I used regular acrylic paint and I borrowed Jordan Sander.
So shout out to Jordan, who you all know and love.
So yeah.
All meaning some of you.
Yeah.
So, and I bought a house recently.
Yay.
Wow.
So you're consuming property.
I'm consuming giving all my money to the government and property tax.
Sounds like more conscious.
More of your size.
Yes.
But yeah, so I'm painting that and it's like doing another job because I go home and then I drive to it and then I paint and then I drink four cups of coffee a day.
Oh, and I'm surviving.
Coffee.
Just coffee.
Coffee, energy drinks, whatever has bad chemicals in it.
Right.
That crunchy moms wouldn't let their kids near.
Gross.
I just, the term crunchy mom is just so weird to me.
It is accurate, though.
Does the crunchy is that derived from the granola in which they chew, or is it from the unwashed hair?
The movement of unwashed hair that crunches out.
I hope that's not a movement.
That's a movement.
Being gross should not be a movement.
I mean, I understand it if it's like, you know, year one and there's no showers.
Year one.
Wasn't that a movie with Jack Black?
No, I mean, yes, but that's not what I was trying to say.
Okay, so the year two AD, there's no showers.
I understand if you don't wash your hair every day.
Yeah.
Now we have that blessing.
I mean, you don't have to wash your hair every day.
That's actually bad for your hair.
Well, I have white people.
The point is though.
You know what?
Forget you, Brandon.
But I don't know where crunchy comes from.
And I feel like it's not granola because I feel like crunchy moms would think that granola is unhealthy.
Write in what you think crunchy comes from.
No gross.
Google it.
Yeah.
What I've been consuming that has also consumed a large portion of my life was Tears of the Kingdom.
But ever since I've finished that, and I've been able to put those tears behind me, I read Yumi and the Nightmare Painter a few weeks ago.
I very much enjoyed it.
It's cyberpunk meets fantasy.
Wait, isn't cyberpunk already fantasy?
Cyberpunk is more sci-fi.
However, there's some weird stuff that I don't love in it, like the bathhouse scenes.
And there's nothing like super, super sexual, but there is like Sanderson awkward nudity in it, which I don't really love.
Yeah.
But overall, I thought it was a great book.
And I also read, just finished Wool by Hugh Howey.
Ah, Wool's great.
And it was excellent.
And I will be continuing tonight.
Nice.
Nice series.
But have you been consuming anything else?
Nothing else.
No food, no water.
Oh, wow.
Just those two books and video games.
Spiritually edifying.
Is wool spiritually edifying?
If you want to hear about spiritually edifying video games, stay tuned for the subscriber segment upcoming.
Oh, interesting.
All right, let's move on to hate mail.
Hate mail?
Like that.
They just say it like that.
You used to be good.
Adam Ford.
Adam Ford.
I really miss Adam Ford.
From Anne 0868763.
Did they hire some writers?
I remember when the B wasn't funny at all.
It was funny how unfunny they were.
Just one thud after another.
And that was responding to Lizard Person Gives Harrowing Account of Being Harassed on Airline.
So not entirely hate mail because they were saying, hey, this is a good article.
But also, like, that's the one they chose.
That was the one that.
Oh, they're doing something neat over here.
Finally, Lizards, my sense of humor.
All lizards all the time.
I love that article, though.
That's so good.
It is so good.
That's it for Hate Mail, and that's it for the freeloader portion of the podcast.
Thank you so much for watching.
If you're a subscriber, we have a very special Travis's Game Corner incoming, so stay tuned for that, where Travis is going to have to find sermon illustrations based on video game characters and topics.
That sounds impossible.
It sounds mission impossible from 1997 on Nintendo 64.
Thank you so much for watching.
This has been the Babylon Bee Podcast.
Goodbye.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
How many snacks are consumed in the making of Bee videos?
Asked Gwen42.
Fruit snacks.
That's a big production thing.
And I don't know if anyone else is eating them, but I eat them.
I've never eaten a single fruit snack while working for the B. All right, Brandon.
Well, some of us need our coffee and our fruit snacks.