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Nov. 11, 2022 - Babylon Bee
52:10
The Babylon Bee Podcast: ELECTION WEEK SPECIAL

Midterm elections 2022 happened this week and The Babylon Bee discusses what happened with the red wave and election shenanigans. Democracy was on the ballot, so Kyle Mann, Adam Yenser, and Sam Greer are here to teach you how to breathe like a baby to get through this. Jarret Lemaster talked to writer, director, producer Brock Heasley about a new project he has been working on called The Shift.

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It was election day this week and we've got our fingers crossed that Republicans are going to win California.
We found a goldmine of marriage advice this week and we are going to help all the married couples out there.
Christians are out there making movies and shows and we talked to one of them, Brock Heasley.
All this is more on the bee weekly.
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp Therapy Online.
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Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash Babylon B. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Babylon B. Hey everyone, welcome to the Babylon B podcast.
I'm hanging out with Adam and Sam.
Now, Sam, you've done hosted a couple interviews with us, but I don't know if we ever actually introduced you, have we?
Jared said, this is Sam, one of our writers.
Yeah, one of our writers.
That was the end of it.
Yeah, that's as much as introduction as I would like.
Yeah, he's been great on the interview shows, though.
And he actually prepares and reads the book ahead of time.
He knows about theology and stuff.
That was one of the greatest moments in our Dennis Prager interviews.
Like, I just run in and I sit in the chair and he's like, now, Dennis, on chapter four of your book.
And I'm like, wait, you read the book?
And it's this massive thing on Deuteronomy.
It was fun.
And then you just heckled him with like repeated Jewish space lasers and he could take it.
Yeah.
Well, you know, making fun of Jews is a good idea.
That's like one of our guests that was here yesterday.
Sam knows like everything about the B. He's like an encyclopedia.
Like we were, the guest was in here yesterday talking to me and I've been here a year and Sam's been here like a couple of months.
And the guy's like, so how many writers do you guys have?
And I'm like, I don't know.
I think this is between like 10 and 20 or something.
And Sam's like, there's 22.
Five are in the Midwest.
Six are down.
I don't know.
It sounds like he knows more than I do, actually.
It's a way to add value.
You just learn a lot.
You be a bottleneck where you can.
It's good.
Another thing Sam knows a lot about is women.
And so we have advice for wives because you're married.
Correct.
Right.
And I guess you know a lot about women.
Yes.
Just one.
Only one wife for now.
Yeah.
So we found a really cool old book that one of our video editors brought in that have you seen.
Oh, nice.
I have not.
No.
Oh, this is going to be awesome.
And it has advice for wives on how to please their husbands.
And it's like from the South.
So this should be good.
It's wonderful.
Nice.
And yeah, it's going to be great.
Also, this is midterm elections week.
So it was kind of interesting.
We'll talk about the results.
It's interesting to see what happened as it rolled in last night.
So red wave, red mirage, red tsunami.
A little disclosure.
Red tide, red trick ripple, and we'll see if it dissipates or not.
And I think, like, still sloshing around a little red phone.
I know we'll talk a little more in depth a little bit later, but it does.
Like, I think as long as they take those two, like one of the house and the senate, then you can stop everything, right?
Like, that's amazing.
It's at this point.
So at the time that we're taping this, results are still coming in.
It looks likely that we'll take the house and like slim chance of Senate.
But Senate will probably stay the same.
We'll see.
So, all right.
Well, not everything that everybody hoped for, but we'll talk.
Well, we have a subscriber there now.
This is Subscriber Dare.
This one is from Mike Barnes.
It says, subscriber dare.
I will do the bundle subscription and buy all the guidebooks.
If you say Pearl Field Bistro opening soon in Richland Center, Wisconsin.
I've been renovating it for over a year while listening to the Babylon Bee podcast.
I've been listening since the beginning.
You do a great job.
By the way, Riot is the best Carmen album/slash movie.
And finally, if any of you are in Southwest Wisconsin, stop by for a meal on me.
All right.
Well, I will say it again, to be clear: Pearl Field Bistro opening soon in Richland Center, Wisconsin.
And I'm definitely going to go there at some point and get a free meal.
Yeah.
Carmen's estate gets a lot of free press from us.
We should look into somehow capitalizing on that.
Capitalizing on the talk to his grandchildren.
Christian Singer, yeah.
Yeah.
We should definitely do that.
I wonder how much views and traffic we've driven his way.
Carmen.
People that hear him on here are like, I want to go check out who that guy is that they mention all.
You can look up like Google search trends, right?
We can see if there's any kind of.
People also ask.
Yeah.
If anybody's searched for Carmen, if that's spiked at all.
Now, usually I don't do a subscriber dare when someone just wants us to plug something.
That's too late I did it because I didn't know that.
No, but I agreed to this one.
Oh, okay.
Because he seems sincere and he seems like he's a good guy that's trying.
Because sometimes people will just be like, hey, link to my SoundCloud album.
And then it's like, well, then you just, because if a subscription costs you $100 a year or whatever, you just paid $100 for an ad spot on the podcast, and that's a deal.
Because usually our ad spots are at least $120.
And I want to check out his Bistro.
That seems cool.
Yeah.
Sounds cool.
The Bistro that the Babylon Bee podcast built.
Well, let's talk about what's in the news this week.
What's in the news this week?
Well, we talked about midterms.
Democracy was on the ballot, and there was a lot of stuff going on around that.
Now, you guys might notice our I Voted stickers at the Vermont special here.
And we have an update on these.
So this was a crowdfunded, what was it, like a poll to see who could design the best I voted sticker?
Yeah.
And what was it, an eight or nine-year-old or something designed these?
That'll be a disturbed eight-year-old.
All right.
So this is a tweet that says, I don't know if you all remember the I Voted sticker design contest for Ulster County that went viral and the internet all voted for this design, but it really did win.
And they are actually using it for the current election.
They're fantastic.
I would like to see them use these elsewhere.
This is awesome.
And so there's a poll worker that actually has a role of these stickers.
We have these ones made, but it's this generation's Bodhi McBoat face.
Bodie McBoat face of I Voted stickers.
Yes, absolutely.
Ahead of the election, Biden administration and the media were telling us to brace for a red mirage.
They were saying Republicans are going to look like they're winning, but then after a couple hours and a couple days and they count, you know, the ballots, Democrats might win.
Seems shady, maybe.
The actual quote from Corinne Jean-Pierre was, we may not know all the winners of these elections for a few days.
It takes time to count all legitimate ballots in a legal and orderly manner.
That's how this is supposed to work.
I don't know if you're allowed to voice a black gay.
Oh, that's so true.
Appropriation three times over.
Yeah, I don't know if that's shady or if it's just weird that we can no longer count all the votes in a night.
It's weird that it's not consistent across states.
We can agree that's weird.
It's a little strange to me.
I don't know.
The oddballs in Arizona are like doing their crystal healing chakras and freaking peyote.
Is it a function, though, also of just how close elections have been lately?
Like, it seems like they are.
I think it's a function of all the mail imbalances.
Yeah.
I think it is.
There's a legendary picture from the 2000 election, which was, you know, the famous Bush v. Gore of the guy with like his eyes bugged out.
Trying to figure it out.
But even that, like, the election was counted in one night and they did recount.
They kept recounting.
It was recounts that were taking forever, not the original count.
ABC News said GOP leads will dwindle or crumble completely after perceived dumps of votes are recorded by state election officials who count mail-in and absentee ballots in the days or even weeks following election day.
Yeah, so it just seems like this is not the norm that we're used to the night of election of the election.
No, the next day.
Watch it.
Except in rare cases.
Like if you stayed up late, you might even know the results that same night.
All right.
Well, that's strange.
And this was hilarious.
The New York Times put out a list of ways.
This was real.
It looked like it was parody.
The New York Times put out a list of ways to cope with election night, like stress.
And they said five ways to soothe election stress.
One, try five-finger breathing.
Trace the outside of your hand with your pointer finger.
When you trace up, breathe in.
And when you trace down, breathe out.
Cool down.
Plunge your face into a bowl with ice water for 15 to 30 seconds.
I actually did that.
I was super stressed.
No.
Who does this?
Plus his face into a bowl of ice water.
And if you're a Republican, you make it red water and then you can experience the red wave, blue wave, whatever you want.
Move.
Even a walk around the block can offer some relief for an uneasy mind.
And then you can do this.
The best one.
I don't know if I can read it.
It's too funny.
Breathe like a baby.
Focus on expanding your belly as you breathe, which can send more oxygen to the brain.
All right, we're breathing like babies.
And last but not least, limit your scrolling.
Consider plotting out specific times, and you'll look for election updates.
Some of these are like the iPhone automated, hey, your screen time is up.
And they tell you in the middle of church every Sunday, or like, don't forget to breathe your watch.
I didn't know that was a thing.
But this is clearly for like left-leaning people.
Yeah.
There's this.
I never understand that.
It's like, you know, back in the 2016 election when Trump won.
It's like I, as a Republican living in New York, then living in California, rarely ever have my candidate do the things I voted for ever once.
The next day I come in and I'm like, eh, no, it is what it is.
I came in the next day and it's like, oh, it's like they have like PTSD when they lose an election.
And they're just, apparently, they're freaking out about it and they need to do their meditative yoga exercises to relieve their stress.
We should do five of our own and make it all things that they actually do, like scream at the sky.
Scream at the sky.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure every single thing I voted for lost.
Yeah.
I don't know, like every proposition, I was like, no, no, I don't want people to try to kill babies.
No, I don't want people to gamble on their phones or whatever the different things were.
And I think all of them.
My guy, though, my representative for like the district that's basically Simi Valley and then Palmdale area and Santa Carita, Mike Garcia, won by 10 plus points.
He's a Republican.
Republican.
I've met Mike Garcia before.
Yeah, he's cool.
I ran into him at a barbecue restaurant.
Super cool.
Nice.
He had signs everywhere.
And it was interesting because anecdotally, I noticed that just from living there, we only saw one sign on our commutes from the other lady running against him.
Ben Shapiro, like, he gave data to what we had observed because he said, like, last week, Democrat funding is slimmed to nil in Mike Garcia's district.
Even though it could be like potentially a contested seat, they just gave up on it.
And like, we observed it anecdotally.
So you've got one of your things that you voted for.
It felt so good.
It's just nice to win one sometimes.
It's nice to win one.
Yeah.
Well, now you're going to get anxious about elections and you're going to have to plunge your face into it.
Yeah, trace your fingers.
It reads like a troll.
It does.
It reads like it's a joke.
Like no one would ever actually be that stressed.
Ice bath.
I've never heard the ice water one.
No.
Shoving your fingers.
And it seems like something where you would have like a hidden camera.
Like, let's see.
Let's see if they actually do it.
He's doing it.
There were April fools.
The idiot splashed his face with ice water.
Okay, so I'm a big dummy.
Like, I've been gotten by these.
April 1st, a couple of years ago, Google was like, hey, we've come up with incredible technology.
Touch your iPhone to your nose and we can make a smell come out.
And I was like, and then I was like, oh, I'm a fool.
Yeah.
They should make a troll.
Yeah.
You're stressed about the election.
Try chewing on a Tide Pod.
It relieves stress.
It'll make you feel better.
Oh, my gosh.
All right.
Awesome.
And then, of course, there were election day issues.
20% of Maricopa County in Arizona, 20% of their locations had issues with electronic tabulation machines, which scan your ballot, causing some chaos to people who showed up to vote in person.
Katie Hobbs is in charge of these, and she is running for governor against Republican Carrie Lake.
You heard that early on.
I was hearing that news come out that some of them were like, oh, we ran out of paper.
Our printer's not working.
And the crazy part is, it's razor thin.
As of my last checking the numbers, it was a 10,000-person difference.
Like, Katie Hobbs was up by a mere 10,000 votes.
And like, I can picture 10,000 people getting irritable.
Like, I've waited in line.
I'm just not going to vote.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think they sued to keep the places open later.
And then that got the Republicans sued.
We want more people to vote.
And that got voter suppression.
Oh, I experienced voter suppression in my polling place.
We'll get back to Arizona, but I've got to tell this story.
Okay.
Some of the people were wearing masks.
I felt threatened.
Oh, sad as a conservative.
I did look when I was in line.
I look, and when I see masked people, I'm like, eh.
I know where they're voting.
Exactly.
The other thing I do is when I look at people in line, I assume all the attractive people are voting Republican.
I was like, oh, that's another Democrat over there.
So I stood like next to my wife as we voted.
I don't want to say it.
I would count this as washing your wife in the water of the word, like Ephesians 5.
You know, because I was like, we all know that.
We had shared voter guide.
We had a voter guide that my friend had sent me a few hours before.
And then we found another one and one of them was in Comic Sans.
And we were like, oh, this is like a janitor wrote this voter guide.
So you had a voter guide in Comic Sans and you followed it?
And you doubted it.
You doubted a little bit because it was in Comic Sand.
Yeah, but I mean, what could I do?
I was like right there.
And the earlier one that I had had, it was searchable, which was nice.
The other one, I had to like, you know, find it.
But yeah, between the two of us, we were able to like, she was trying to troll their Instagrams.
Like, she looks like a lib.
And I was like, oh, yeah.
We figured it out.
All right.
Well, well, the kind of one bright spot, it seemed, was very bright spot.
Florida went full Republican blowout.
And this was part of what contributed towards the weird roller coaster emotions of the night.
As at the beginning, you were like, oh my gosh, Ron DeSantis won 120% of the vote.
He did win by almost 20 points or something like that.
And he flipped Miami-Dade County, Palm Beach County.
Yeah, it was just taking his money.
And Marco Rubio there won by a large margin also.
By almost 2 million votes.
But Abbott beat Beto by double digits in Texas.
That was always a plus God.
I don't know why that guy keeps running.
Beto did it.
Vote for three now.
Yeah, Beto did a hat trick.
Like three different offices, three different L's.
Different.
He loses every dot of losers.
He's not even like a career politician.
He's like a career loser.
At all moments, he's running a losing campaign.
I got a feeling like he's going to fail up, though.
Like he'll end up becoming vice president or something.
That's what happened to Kamala.
Yeah, she never really achieved that.
She lost everything in its election and all of a sudden was vice president.
Possibly.
He is like one of those safe, like doesn't steal the spotlight kind of background guys.
Did you see his TikTok?
I did not see anyone's TikTok.
We have to play Beto's TikTok.
Let's play.
For a yellow bone, long-haired star.
Star.
Thick in the hips come get in my car.
I'm sorry that you had to see that.
Democratic heroes, again, Beta O'Rourke, Stacey Abrams, Charlie Christ.
You'd think they would give it up.
All have spent hundreds of millions of dollars, hundreds of millions of combined dollars.
Like for Stacey Abrams, also, who's just like a perennial loser.
And she actually conceded the race.
That's good.
She showed some personal growth there.
Although she's not a wait joke.
Now it is.
It wasn't until I said it wasn't.
Yeah, look what you did.
She was a lot of personal growth.
She's a bigger woman than she used to be.
But she's still president of Earth, however.
Yes, in the fictional world.
We will always have Star Trek.
And Michigan voted for Whitmer again, so that's nice.
And Michigan and California voted in overwhelming majorities to enshrine abortion in their constitutions, which is horrible.
Republicans.
You were saying the way I noticed it's like on the ballot, it was worded in a way that was very pro-I know California probably will still vote to enshrine it or whatever, but it doesn't say like legalize abortion in all cases.
Yes.
It says the protect the reproductive, it's that flowery word.
It says to protect reproductive medical care and contraception.
That's part that you're going to put together because then it makes them run to open.
Contraception.
I don't want to be against that.
I don't want to use condoms.
Yes.
Republicans are favored to take the House.
The Senate is the big, like, we're still waiting on results.
Three contentious races are still being tallied.
It seems like Trump might have lost Republicans.
There were a lot of.
Yes, the Trump effect was not good in this election, necessarily.
And it's crazy.
Is he done?
Is he finally done?
That's the big question.
I don't think he's done, done, but I think this reflects this reflects badly on him.
Yeah.
That was what the, I think what it swayed.
I think there will still be people who seek his endorsement for things.
I think there are certain blocks of Republicans, even in like a national election, that that will be a good thing.
I think where it hurts him most is the DeSantis win and the people that were, you know, one that were not Trump thing.
It were not Trump supporters.
It seems to provide.
It weakens his case for running again, I think.
It seems to provide a path forward for the Republican Party.
Do what Ron DeSantis did.
Yeah.
Yes.
And you have a chance of winning.
And that's what the Daily Wire guys were saying.
I was watching, they did a marathon election coverage, and they were just all like finding the silver lining in DeSantis.
But then the big question mark was Trump.
But it is different when he turns on.
The Nate Silver Lining.
It is different when he turns it on for his own race and he's like full charisma, you know, hugging the flag, chasing the hat of a Marine as it falls off and blows away.
Like he's, he's, it's different when it's him.
Not just him trying to be kingmaker, but him hogging all the charisma.
He has a little more success there.
Well, for one, here at the Babylon B as satirists, we are excited that Fitterman will be around for years to come.
Yeah, we'll be able to continue to make poorly taste jokes in poor taste.
Tasteless.
Yes.
Jokes about the mentally Frankenstein jokes, Shrek jokes.
Yeah.
All right.
Now, if the election news is stressing you out, go stick your face in a bowl of ice water.
And now let's do some non-election news.
So a man has built a 3,000-pound tomb to preserve flaming hot Cheetos for thousands and thousands of years into the future.
What is this made out of?
Wow, I hadn't heard this story.
It's a bag of flaming hot Cheetos.
It was placed into cast resin and then covered by 3,000 pounds of concrete.
And he says the location is a complete secret.
And he is buried flaming hot Cheetos.
The way I found the land to bury it was by posting to my Instagram, does anyone own land in the Pacific Northwest that would be willing to let me bury something on their property, not a dead body?
And a very nice couple replied and saying they'd love to be a part of the project.
That's always what I say when I want to bury something that's not a dead body.
It's not a body.
And attached to it.
It is the same size and shape as a body.
It's in this bag.
Don't open it.
Attached to the crib is a golden plaque that just reads flaming hot cheetahs, and it gives the ingredients and the ingredient list so we can recreate it in.
You know, millions of years from now, then there's they'll discover the flaming hot cheetah or after the nuclear apocalypse, like we'll stumble upon it and it'll carry us through.
Yeah, all right.
Well, let's go to our Babylon B banger of the week.
Flamin' hot article of the week.
Treasure in heaven is great, but it's not going to buy you a tank of gas.
So let's take a moment to briefly review the current state of our economy and the global effect the war between Russia and Ukraine has had.
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Or you can visit allegiancegold.com/slash B. That's B-E-E.
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Or visit allegiancegold.com/slash B-E-E.
Banger of the week.
Democrats worried Republicans may take lead beyond margin of cheating.
That's good.
Such a good joke that the browser just disappeared.
Browser crashed.
I think that was a Joel Berry number.
That was, yeah.
Well, and the election rigging and cheating stuff wasn't so much of a discussion point.
I know we talked about the Maricopa County stuff, and there was a couple of things that people were like, eh, that's a little weird, but it didn't seem like that was as much of a.
It seemed like both sides going into it were laying the groundwork to contest the toast.
And I think it's, I mean, we'll see if that happens yet or not.
I didn't hear a lot of like actual complaints of like stealing and rigging yet, but I've never super been convinced that there is rigging.
I do think mail-in votes is just super hard to overcome.
And I don't think that's necessarily like ballot harvesting and all this stuff.
But if you're like a liberal woman and you've got a few kids and you get four ballots mailed to your house, you're going to fill them all out, even if your kids normally wouldn't be engaged or convince them, hey, fill this out and then go drop them off.
And that's just.
I think it increases numbers in that way.
Or you do the biblical thing if you're a wife and you have your husband fill it out for you.
That's correct.
That's what Dan does for him.
Here's the bomb of the week.
Bomb of the week.
I don't understand why I'm struggling with sin so much, says man who hasn't read Bible since January 2nd.
That one's good.
Pointed.
It's a good pointed headline, yeah.
Very, very cleverly written and worded.
All right, let's move on to Sizzler Facts.
20 weeks ago, we debuted a new feature to the podcast called Sizzler Facts.
On November.
We actually, do we have a Sizzler comment?
Someone asked us if we could do a Sizzler fact about Provo, Utah because one of our subscribers drove by a Sizzler for the first time in Provo, Utah.
So we found a Sizzler Fact about that Sizzler in Provo, Utah.
I think we found this on their Facebook page.
On November 11th, 2019, the Provost Sizzler branch offered a free meal to veterans to thank them for their service.
Service members got to choose between a six-ounce tri-tip steak, Malibu chicken, or six crispy shrimp.
The free meal could be claimed between the hours of 11 a.m. and 4 p.m.
That was appropriately sober.
Yeah.
This has been a Sizzler fax.
And that was for Jay Baker, our sister.
Jay Baker was the one who asked for that.
All right.
And Jarrett LeMaster chimed in in the podcast channel and said he drove chimed in on something.
He said he drove by that provo Sizzler and it looked wonderful.
Yeah.
And it's nice they let you choose the entree.
It's like they offer choice.
It's all about choice, yeah.
I'm surprised that Jarrett said that something was amazing.
That's he usually doesn't like things.
He's like an enthusiasm factory.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's move on to weekly news with Adam Yetzer.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jetzer.
The results of Tuesday's midterm elections are in, and after fending off a black man running from him, John Fetterman fended off a Muslim running against him.
Truly a progressive icon.
The world's tallest woman, who is seven foot one, was able to take her first flight after an airline removed six seats to accommodate her.
Meanwhile, the world's fattest man will simply be crammed into a regular seat next to you.
Beauty pageant queens Miss Puerto Rico and Miss Argentina revealed on Instagram that they secretly got married to each other.
Said sixth grade boys, hey, can we have those gay people come and push their lifestyle on us?
You know, instead of drag queen Doris.
This week, Eminem, Dolly Parton, and Judas Priest were all inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which has been renamed the, well, you know, I listen to a little bit of everything Hall of Fame.
After being kicked off of Twitter for impersonating Elon Musk, Kathy Griffin used her dead mother's account to log back in.
Kathy was able to unlock the app on her mom's phone after the facial recognition mistook her for a corpse.
A fugitive from New York who was wanted for fraudulently using COVID funds was arrested when a federal inspector recognized him in line at Disney World.
It really is a small world after all.
The fugitive was accused of fraudulently using COVID funds totaling $150,000 to buy one ticket to Disney World.
ABC announced that Jimmy Kimmel will host the Oscars in March and has warned celebrities not to slap him because unlike Chris Rock, he will cry.
A U.S. military pilot flying over Syria drew a giant penis with his flight path.
General Mark Milley says the military has launched an investigation to determine whether it was a man or a woman's penis.
Ricky Gervais accused James Corden of stealing a joke from his latest comedy special.
Although Corden insists he didn't steal the joke, he was just karaokeing it.
Nick Cannon announced that he is expecting his 11th baby with model Alyssa Scott.
The baby is due in March, or as Cannon put it, three more babies from now.
In order to save time going forward, Cannon will only announce when he's not expecting a baby.
A cheating scandal called Baggate has rocked the sport of professional cornhole after both championship teams were caught using underfilled bean bags.
The scandal could cost dozens of dollars in endorsement deals.
Professional Cornhaul, the only sport where even if you win, you're still a loser.
On Halloween, Tom Brady dressed as the Grim Reaper to take his kids' trick-or-treating.
And just like the Baltimore Ravens, they finished the night with two sacks.
That's it for weekly news.
To see more, check out my YouTube channel and catch me live at TK's Comedy Club in Dallas this weekend and at the Comedy Chateau in North Hollywood, November 18th.
Ah, well, that was a gem of a comedy segment on our podcast.
Well, thank you.
Now it is time for a gem of Christian scholarship.
We found this book.
It was brought to us by one of our video editors, especially for wives, When Was the Last Time by Dr. Michael A. Campion.
We're going to look through this great book for advice for wives to help everyone's marriages.
Let's take a look.
All right.
So, this book is called, Especially for Wives, When Was the Last Time?
Do we have a publishing date on this?
This was published by Bethany Fellowship Incorporated.
Based on hairstyles, it's 50s.
I'm going to.
No, no way.
No way.
It's copyright 7.79, 1979.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's definitely 70s.
And so the whole shtick of this book is that it asks, when was the last time you did something?
And then every page is a stock image or an image that they took, plus when was the last time you did this or that?
So we'll take a look at a few of these.
And are there scriptures associated with it?
It's super brief.
Oh, okay.
When was the last time I was more aggressive in sex?
Oh, so far it's gone exactly where I thought it would go.
When was the last time I told him I was happy with his salary?
And that guy's very like, I don't know if she's holding up his paycheck saying I was happy with this.
You want to find a couple in here?
Yeah, let's go to a random page.
That one's too sincere.
When was the last time I did not put my cold feet in the middle of his back?
And the picture they took.
Oh, and the picture is like, it looks like a horror movie monster peeping out of bleaching.
I picture a days since counter with like days since I put my cold feet in the middle of his back.
Oh, man, back to zero.
It has been 173.
Days since a cold feet accident.
When was the last time I stopped talking on the phone when my husband came home from work?
And he's like, it looks like he's out shoveling snow.
She's like hanging his phone.
He's hanging up the phone.
Oh, he's do you think this is meant to be funny at all?
I think it's a little like the foot.
Like, obviously, that's a comedic bit.
Yeah.
But some of them are very like, like the salary thing.
Like, when's the last time I just told my husband I was happy with this sound?
When was the last time I surprised my husband with an unexpected kiss?
Aw, just totally interrupting his guitar while he's playing guitar.
Like, it's annoying.
I'm in the middle of Wonder Wall.
When was the last time I respected him?
And let him know it.
Hey, I respect you, and I want you to know that.
Maybe hang up the phone when I come home.
This one will take the cake.
When was the last time I slimmed down?
Oh, wow.
Fruitle.
Based.
She's looking at it.
So she's looking at herself in the mirror there.
What I saw when you were like, when did I not take all the covers?
Last time I did not take all the covers.
Oh, man.
There's a lot of sex in here.
Yeah, I know.
I was surprised by that.
When was the last time I showed enthusiasm for the things that are important to him?
And the best part of this one is he's playing with a ham radio.
Ham radio.
She's like, oh, what are you doing?
Now, this is a good one.
When's the last time I expressed pleasure in our sex life?
And there's like two relatively old.
Fairly old.
At least 60, maybe older.
When was the last time I was sexually relaxed and free?
I want to know.
This is telling us more about the guy who wrote this book, maybe.
I'm still caught up on the ham radio operator.
That's this generation's, that's that generation's Minecraft.
You're doing great, honey.
Keep building.
Now, this one's kind of weird.
When was the last time I took up activities or friendship outside our home?
Like, it's like saying, why don't you get out of here?
I'm working on my ham radio.
Hang out with you, friend.
That's pretty good.
It's a great book.
This is great.
So if you guys are having trouble in your marriages, we highly recommend, especially for wives, when was the last time it'll help you remind yourself to slim down, be more aggressive in sex.
What would the husband declare?
Even though when was the last time you helped him calm down by splashing ice water in his face?
He doesn't say that.
Awesome.
All right.
Well, Jared talked to writer, director, and producer Brock Heasley about a new project he's been working on called The Shift.
Take it away, Jarrett.
And now for another interview on the Bee Weekly.
Well, hey, this is the interview show here at the Babylon B, and we're very, very excited to have a producer, a director, a writer.
And we're very, very happy to have Brock Heasley on, the director-producer of The Shift, a writer as well.
And so I just kind of wanted to have you on today and talk to you a little bit about who you are, a little bit about what the shift is, what you guys are doing, and to let the people that are the beef people know what you guys are up to.
So, Brock, who are you?
Who am I?
Man, that's a big question.
I think who I am is who we just discussed just a second ago before we got on here, which is that I am first and foremost a child of God.
Yeah.
There we go.
And, you know, but I'm also a child of God who's super into sci-fi and loves movies.
And so I am making a sci-fi movie that also deals with matters of faith and does so in a way that I think is going to be appealing to believers, but also that is going to hold a lot of appeal for people who are not.
We're making a film here with Angel Studios that is unique, that is, I believe, going to be able to reach a lot of different kinds of people.
Because first and foremost, we're trying to make a great film.
I am a fan of sci-fi and especially good sci-fi and even hard sci-fi.
And I'm not going to pretend that I've made a hard sci-fi movie.
I'm no scientist.
I'm no expert, but I'm certainly inspired by the great works of science fiction.
And I'm excited to do a film that takes that part of it seriously and then asks, where's God in all of that?
I think that's something that is often missing from a lot of sci-fi films.
I always make the comparison of thinking about Interstellar, which is a movie I really love.
But Matthew McConaughey at the end there, he's heading for a black hole.
And he just goes right in.
And I don't know about you, but I'd probably take a minute, say a little prayer.
Yes.
And he was probably like, nah, nah, nah, nah.
And then he went right in.
That's a Matthew McConaughey thing.
Yeah.
So I'm going to butcher this, but C.S. Lewis has a quote about science fiction.
You could probably get a little bit more precise with this, but he talks about how science fiction is a really great conduit for theological ideas.
Do you know this?
Yeah.
Do you know the quote?
I don't know this quote, but I absolutely agree with that idea.
I mean, science fiction traditionally has always been a conduit for ideas.
When we think about Star Trek, which I also love, you know, going all the way back to the 60s, they would talk about the social issues of the day, civil rights, different things like that, but they would do it with green-skinned aliens so that everybody could come to the table and enjoy it as a story.
And if you wanted to dig a little bit deeper, it was right there, like usually just right on the surface, exactly what they were talking about and what issues they were dealing with.
And so science fiction, you know, it works in allegory, it works in metaphor, it works in these spaces.
And that means you can apply anything to science fiction.
Science fiction can be about anything at its core, but we just have never, or very rarely, certainly not in film that I can think of, have we seen science fiction deal with faith and deal with matters of faith in a metaphorical and allegorical way.
And that's what we're doing with the shift.
I love that.
I think that I think some of my favorite, I'm a huge science fiction fan too.
And this last year, so I have a bunch of kids.
I have four boys, and it's crazy in our household.
But I tried to show them the original Star Wars.
And you got to kind of get used to the pacing because the kids are used to Marvel movies and stuff.
But if you get used to the pacing, then you can watch these Star Wars episodes and it deals with all kinds of stuff, especially civil rights, like back in the early days.
My question to you is this: What are your favorite?
Okay, what are your favorite science fiction books?
And then, secondly, what are your favorite science fiction movies?
And do you, and why is it 12 Monkeys?
12 Monkeys is a good one, I'm not going to lie.
But, but as far as my favorite movie goes, my go-to favorite movie and also favorite science fiction movie, they're the same movie, is Gattaca.
Oh, okay.
I love Gattaca, which is a film that maybe not everybody's familiar with.
It stars Ethan Hawk and Jude Law and Uma Thurman, and it's about this guy who is growing up in a society in which everybody's genomes are mapped and they can manipulate genetics to basically produce exactly the kinds of babies and people they want to be.
And Ethan Hawk was not produced this way.
And so he is very much fighting the system and trying to be more than what the world tells him that he is, which I see a lot of just right there in that description.
I see a lot of parallels to our journey as children of God and being told we're this.
And we're saying, no, we're more than that.
We have a divine connection.
And I don't know, I connect with Gattaca, probably on a level the filmmakers did not intend, but I find so much inspiration in stories like that where people are trying to triumph against the system, which is very similar to what we're doing with The Shift, where we've got this protagonist who is, you know, really in a tight spot and is fighting against a world that is really trying to keep him down and really coming after him.
And, you know, as a person of faith, how do we deal with that?
Because that's, I think, what we're all dealing with every day.
You know, the world can feel like this very oppressive thing that we're all kind of stuck in together.
Yeah.
And I think dealing with those kinds of topics are what's exciting to me.
Yeah, I love that.
You know, it's funny.
Gattaca, I saw Gattaca a long time ago and I've seen it since.
I've seen it, and it's kind of a dystopian world.
Is that kind of what you're creating with the shift?
Yeah, I mean, with Gattaca, it's like this sterile dystopian world where everything's very clean and everybody's wearing suits.
And so it's kind of the opposite of what you think of when you think of visually dystopia.
But I think that's one of the reasons that movie is so interesting is because it is a dystopia, but it's like a clean dystopia.
We're probably going for more of a dirty dystopia, probably a little bit more in the children of men realm.
But yeah, the shift very much is about this dystopian reality in which a character that we call the benefactor, but who will very quickly be obvious that he's actually the devil, where essentially he's taken over and he's taken over for a very specific reason.
And our guy is stuck in this reality in which the benefactor is in charge.
And he's hunted And he's wanted, and he is doing his best to get out of that world.
We do deal with the multiverse a little bit.
And so, I think there's some exciting things to explore within that.
Yeah, there's been a few movies that I like, I really enjoy that are kind of the clean dystopian thing.
And I really like, you know, and that's that's sort of the Orwellian sort of, or the clean dystopia is sort of the Orwellian dystopia, right?
Like where everything's really structured and people are wearing the same uniforms and things like that.
And I guess, I guess, with the Huxley vision, too, I mean, I guess people are pretty uniform, aren't they?
But the, but I also, I have a tendency to like what you're talking about as well, like these dystopian stories where everything's sort of like trashed and everything's it's almost like the Mad Max world, not quite there, but it's like kind of like a Mad Max world with a structure, with an infrastructure.
Um, very, very cool.
Like, I love all that stuff, I think it's so cool.
Now, how did you get into it?
And what are the books that really influence you in terms of this style?
Um, yeah, so I came into film and into telling this story actually came before I got into film.
And, um, you know, it was, I was influenced a lot by just, I don't know that it was books so much other than like, you know, the Bible.
You know, I think the temptation, that that's a book.
It's a pretty important one.
Yeah.
I hear there's several books within that book, but yes.
It's a library.
It's a library.
But, but yeah, I think kind of my jumping off point when I think about the shift is really there's two jumping off points.
Number one is the temptation of Christ in the wilderness.
And when he's basically offered the riches of the world, if you'll just, you know, bow down and worship Satan.
And there's a moment like that for our protagonist.
And then also the book of Job, hugely influential on crafting this story.
I find the story of Job so fascinating.
It's really, it's a story about a man who already believes and then all the garbage happens to him.
And then all this bad stuff happens to him.
And sometimes I think we get stuck in thinking that, you know, just because we're believers or because we've put our trust in Christ that, you know, that now things should work out.
Sometimes I think that's the messages that we get from our stories is that, oh, once you come to believe, then things are going to work out for you.
And I believe that over and over and over again, the Bible is teaching us no, the exact opposite is true.
Yeah.
That things oftentimes are actually going to get harder for you.
I think of Job.
I think of credit.
I mean, think about everything Moses went through after his conversion.
Think about what happened to Joseph.
I mean, over and over again, we get these stories of people who are staunch believers and then they just go through these terrible, terrible trials.
The thing is, is that I don't think that's very different from our lives and what we're going through right now.
And the lesson of the gospel isn't that everything's going to get easier, but that through Christ and through putting our faith and trust in him, that he can make our burdens lighter.
And, you know, and I think that's an important distinction that doesn't get talked about enough.
So I'm excited for this film to show a man who comes to faith and then things get worse.
And then how do you reconcile that?
How do you deal with that?
And I think that there's an opportunity there to give people some hope.
And also mostly, and most importantly, because otherwise, if you don't do this part, nobody's going to care about the other part to make a really just like awesome, like ripping yarn, just a great story that's exciting and action-packed and all of that within the story of Job.
I know that sounds crazy, but it'll make sense when you see the movie.
Yeah, I'm very excited about it.
And I think you were saying about, you know, us thinking somehow we got the theology that once we receive Christ, we're going to, you know, things are going to go well.
You're going to be financially successful.
You're going to be happy.
All your relationships are going to be better.
But, you know, like I love it because that verse that people take out of context, you know, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, really means I can endure all things through Christ who gives me strength.
I can endure all things.
And even in like Corinthians, where Paul talks about it, he's like, look, I've gone through all this crazy stuff.
You know, like I was shipwrecked five times.
I was, I received the 49 and a 49 lashes minus one or whatever, 49, 39, 39 lashes, I guess, minus one.
So he went through all kinds of hardships as a result of his following Christ.
And but what we get in the end is that Jesus is our strength.
Jesus is the end.
He's the one that's in us.
We get him as the prize.
It's not all these things in the world that we get as the prize.
So I love that.
I love that you're tackling this.
It's a high concept to try to put into a film.
And I think it's a really important concept.
And film is a really good way to do it.
Now, you are, you got into film.
How did you get into film?
Like, what's your story there?
So, so I kind of went through my own joke moment.
You know, I was a graphic designer and art director for about 15 years.
And then unceremoniously, one day within 24 hours of each other, my wife and I both lost our jobs and had no idea what to do or where to go from that point.
So you were like, I'm going to go make a movie.
You know, at first, no, at first, no, it wasn't that at all.
At first, it was just, well, I got to go get another art job.
You know, I got to go, I got to go be an art director somewhere else.
And I did a lot of interviews, but I was always the number two guy.
Like they just wouldn't pick me.
And it was a very confusing time.
And it was one of those times when I definitely looked to God and I was just like, I don't understand.
Like, I have three kids.
I have a house that I just bought.
I've, you know, I've been doing things, I think, pretty well, been trying to serve you.
And I don't understand why all of a sudden now I can't pay my bills.
And if, and it looks like I'm not going to be able to for a long time because I cannot get another job.
And that's when I was approached by a production company and they said, look, we don't have any money to give you, but we think you're, I was blogging at the time.
And we think you're a talented writer.
Why don't you come and make stories with us?
And that was insane.
You know, like, who's going to do that?
But I went and I prayed about it.
And my wife prayed about it.
And after about a month, we came back together and it was like, hey, well, what answer did you get?
And we both got the same answer, which was, yeah, I need to go and do this and not make any money and go into film, which I've always loved movies, but I've never dreamed up until that point, I never dreamed that I would ever be making them.
And so, you know, I mean, long story short, it was about a year after that that I made the shift short film, which was my first script, my first, you know, directing job that I've given to myself.
And mostly I just did it because I felt like it was something I needed to do.
And that was kind of the theme for that period of time where it was like, I really don't know what to do.
So just lead me, tell me what to do.
And I did everything that made no sense.
I continued to make no money.
I made this film that I had no place to go with it.
I mean, just a short film mixing sci-fi and faith.
There's no audience for that.
At least back then there wasn't.
But all of those moves turned out to be the right moves to where I am here now.
And now I'm looking at shooting this feature film based on this short film that I had no idea why I was making.
I'm going to be shooting that here in about two and a half months.
That's amazing.
So it's been an incredible journey and an inspired one.
Wow.
That's incredible.
And you guys, it's pretty incredible.
You got connected with Angel Studios.
Yeah.
And they're so awesome.
The Harmons are so cool.
And we've had them on here and we're connected to those guys too.
And we just love, we love Angel Studios and The Chosen and all the people that you're kind of working with, like Justin Overlander.
And we had Justin on not too long ago too.
And Justin's such a good guy.
Oh, he's such a good dude.
Yeah, we did a show in Washington.
I guess it was in Virginia and Washington, D.C., together a couple of months ago.
Right.
Or I guess it wasn't months.
It's like, I guess it's like a month ago.
It seems like a lot's happened since then.
But we're just, you know, we have a, we're big fans at the B and we want to definitely highlight this and we want to track your journey and make sure that our people know what's happening with you so that they can get out and support the shift, which you are going to be shooting in when?
Like January, like February?
Mid-January is when we start.
Yeah.
We've got a number of chosen actors with us and some other great ones and Wari that we're going to be hiring soon.
So things are really gearing up.
But yeah, mid-January.
So mid-January, you're going to start the shoot and then you're going to be editing for the next year, something like that.
Maybe a release when?
When do you think?
Well, we're hoping for actually for an October 2023 release is kind of what we're aiming for, which is a little bit aggressive.
Yeah.
So if it doesn't happen, no one get mad at me.
But that is what we're aiming for.
And where are you guys going to shoot?
We're going to hit it.
Where are you going?
We're going to be shooting in Georgia.
Oh, very cool.
All right.
Right there in the Atlanta area.
Atlanta.
Yes, yes.
There's a big old industry out there that's very cool.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that is so crazy.
Okay.
Well, Brock, thank you so much for coming on.
And we're so grateful that you took the time out of your busy day and decided to come talk to us.
And we're going to definitely support the shift.
We're going to tell our people to do the same.
And go check it out.
Keep your eyes peeled for the shift, you guys.
And for Brock Heasley.
Very cool.
So thank you so much for coming.
All right.
Thank you.
What has two thumbs and watches the news?
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Oh, that was great.
Everyone, go check out the shift as Brock Heasley works on the shift.
Now it is time for Hate Mail.
I really miss Adam Ford.
We published a video called Top Signs You Should Leave Your Church.
It was satirical, as are most of the videos that we do.
And here's some comments.
The first one's from Jose Rodriguez.
This would have been funnier if the guy wasn't overacting almost all his linen in his linen.
His linen.
It goes without saying get a short sentence out without a typo in the hate mail.
Brandon's omni-talented, omni-competent.
I loved his delivery, especially the very last word, like you.
It was good.
What it's all about.
You.
You.
Yeah, it was so good.
Terry Panama says, I didn't get it.
Nor laugh one time.
Missing an apostrophe, no punctuation at the end.
Where do I start?
All right, here's Red Pill Bulgaria VT.
Those are the type of screen names that I want commenting on our stuff.
So funny.
Red Pill Bulgaria.
Not funny at all and kind of cringy.
This one is a miss.
Miss.
Okay.
And it got one thumbs up like.
Here's one from Julia Ellman.
Wish Babylon B took this more seriously.
I'm sure that there, spelled wrong, are those who become upset over trite issues, but there are those of us who choose to leave over serious matters, such as the church is run by certain family members and not the pastor who is submitted to Christ.
This just isn't a funny topic.
It's like she has a very specific thing in her past that she's upset about.
She's very tag to the church.
And certain family members.
Clearly, like you know who I mean if you're reading this.
Kenny Siefkin.
Her church has probably already gotten the one-star Yelp review from her.
Already with the one-star Yelp review, yeah.
All right.
Well, thanks for joining us today, guys.
Stay tuned if you're a subscriber.
We've got a very special announcement in the subscriber lounge.
We're going to say all yeah, and we have subscriber headlines.
And Sam, have you answered the 10 questions or the second set of 10 questions?
No, sir, neither.
All right, well, you're going to do the first set of 10 questions with Sam then.
Here we go.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
My sister was a mime for years, and then I was a mime for years.
Just answer the question, please.
No, I just can't.
No, I would like to go back to my sister is a mime for you.
So this is much more interesting.
So there's a thing called being a mime.
A thing in Christianity called being a mime.
Help, I'm trapped by my sin.
Jesus is pulling me out.
This has been another edition of the Bee Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee, reminding you that fake news of the people, by the people,
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