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Sept. 9, 2022 - Babylon Bee
01:03:49
THE BEE WEEKLY: The Rings of Power Is Out and Biden Might Have Invaded Poland

Kyle, Jarret, and Brandon talk about Biden's speech where he was flanked by Marines, put in front of a building that was lit up blood red, and branded half of the country as enemies of the State. He also might have invaded Poland. Next, Amazon's The Rings of Power's first episodes are now out and the guys at The Babylon Bee, including Producer Dan, have thoughts. Also, listeners submitted their favorite jokes and some of them were good!   It's true! The Babylon Bee Guide to Democracy is now out! Get it here.   This episode is brought to you by our great sponsors: Download the ABIDE app and text 'babylon' to 22433 to get 25% off a premium subscription Dan Crenshaw Youth Summit Meet up with other youth and catch cool speakers like The Bee's CEO, Seth Dillon. Satellite Phone Store Get reliable communications from one of America's largest satellite telecom companies. My Patriot Supply Get prepared before it's too late. Allegiance Gold

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Time Text
Biden gave a fiery speech in front of a blood red building and he might have invaded Poland.
We found out that democracy is under threat by MAGA Republicans just in time for the new Babylon Bee guide to democracy.
The Rings of Power is officially out and we have thoughts.
We asked our listeners for their favorite jokes and a small percentage of them were okay.
All this and more on the Bee Weekly.
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Hey everybody, welcome to the Bee Weekly.
I'm hanging out with Jarrett and Brandon today.
Hello.
Hello.
And it's going to be a fun day.
We're going to talk about our new book, The Babylon Bee Guide to Democracy, which is out in bookstores everywhere.
This is a book where we talk about how America's constitutional republic works, or as Democrats call it, democracy.
It's okay.
They just don't know any better.
But it was a lot of fun.
We put a lot of love into it.
So we're going to talk about the process of writing it.
And this is the first time you've been published, right?
Actually, it is.
As an author, artist, whatever.
It's my official debut into the published author.
That's cool.
I wrote approximately one-seventh of the book, and I'm very proud of it.
That's a very specific fraction.
Yeah, you figured that out.
It's roughly.
I don't know.
I didn't calculate every single, I didn't do a word counter.
But please go check it out.
We put a ton of love into this thing.
There's so many crazy illustrations in this thing.
And if you had the Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness, which was a bestseller last year, this has all the same fun stuff.
It's actually much longer.
I was surprised how much thicker this one was than the Wokeness book.
The next one's going to be twice as long.
Oh, geez, we're setting up a high standard here.
But it's fun to see your work out in the world.
So we'd love if you guys would support the Babylon Bee and pick that up.
We're going to talk about that a little more later.
Hey, guys, we'd like you to pray for Travis, who is our resident Game Corner host.
And we got a comment from Christian H here on the YouTube channel who said, I really like the Game Corner.
We all really like the Game Corner.
We do like the Game Corner.
We'd like it to continue.
Pray for Travis.
He had an injury, not life-threatening, but just pray for him.
And he should be back here hopefully next week.
Travis did a lot of the art in the Democracy book.
He did.
Most of the stick figures, I think, was.
Stick figures was him, yes.
We had our previous stick figure artist leave suddenly at the Babylon Bee, and all of a sudden I was like, does anybody else here know how to draw stick figures?
And Travis said, I have a face.
I can give it a try.
Stick figures.
And they're like, he drew them.
He's really crazy good.
All right, so pray for Travis and hopefully he'll be back here next week.
This is Subscriber Dare.
We're moving on to Subscriber Dare.
This is from Grant Fikes.
Yikes.
Yikes, what does Fikes have for us?
From Grant Fikes, Subscriber Dare.
I live in Texas, a state that doesn't appear to have a Sizzler, and I don't know that I'd even heard of the restaurant before Sizzler Facts debuted.
Thus, I find Sizzler Facts boring.
You know what's an amazing restaurant chain that Texas has that California doesn't?
What a burger.
Do one Whataburger Fact, and I'll renew my lapsed subscription for one month.
He says grassiest.
You renew a lap subscription for one.
So we're doing this for $5.
And he also dissed Sizzler.
And he does Sizzler, and he thinks Whataburger's.
Should we just turn down the subscriber?
I don't know if we want Grant's subscriber money.
I'm not sure.
I don't think so.
He's not.
It's not you.
Well, it's not us.
It's you.
Have you guys had Whataburger?
I've not had Whataburger.
No, I've never had.
I've had heard good things.
I cannot talk today.
It is essentially a Carl's Jr. level restaurant.
And it's not that good.
You've had it.
I've had it.
I've had it a few times because every time I go there, all my Texan friends, oh, you got to get Whataburger.
And it's not, I don't understand.
I assume it's similar to when people come to California and people are hyping, you know, no.
Exactly.
Best burger I've ever had.
Which is not.
Etc.
It's really good.
It's a good surface.
You have to frame it.
Yeah, the price.
It's definitely the best.
I'm not to add that to the price.
The quality is much higher than the average.
So Whataburger is what an average burger?
What an average burger.
So that is your Whataburger fact, Grant.
Grant fikes?
Just that it's average.
Glad to have had your business up until now.
Well, if you're reading your New Babylonian Guide to Democracy and you need something to drink coffee out of while you eat it, wait, while you read it, then...
Did you say yeet?
I said while you eat it, like while you eat the book, but that's not correct.
While you consume it.
Then get this conservative tears.
Everything's made more delicious than this.
Are you drinking conservative tears?
I am drinking conservative tears of joy due to the abortion of Roe v. Wade on June 24th.
You know it's a good product because we have to explain it a lot.
Well, that's the little thing on the bottom that'll let you know what it is.
It's conservative tears of joy.
Yeah, there's some small small writing at the bottom.
We also have our Clarence Thomas Hope t-shirts, posters, stickers.
Go check those out.
I went into Target the other day and I forgot that I had been wearing that from our recording and I was like walking around and I was getting looks and stuff and I'm like people in masks, a lot of Target employees in masks kind of looking at me and then I realized I had the Clarence Thomas Hope on.
It's like the time that I walked into a Target wearing my Ted Cruz serial killer t-shirt.
It's not about Ted Cruz being a serial killer, which he is, but I just have a t-shirt with a lot of Ted Cruz's faces plastered all over.
I always like the I identify as vaccinated.
It's such a firebrand.
You know, you walk out and people get really offended really quickly.
Wear that out.
Well, we also, we launched a game show this week that is inspired by some features in our Babylon B Guide to Democracy book.
It's called Peaceful Protest or Insurrection.
The game show.
They're very hard to determine which one's which sometimes.
Yeah.
So this will help you.
You have to guess which one.
So let's go to the game show.
I'm Regan Filibust.
Welcome back to Peaceful Protest or Insurrection.
It's the game show where you guess whether it's a peaceful protest or an insurrection.
That's pretty much what it sounds like.
Let's play.
Frank, welcome back to the show.
Hi.
You have already won $125,000 or one pound of beef so far.
Let's move on to the next question.
No, Question number 13.
Is this a peaceful protest or an insurrection?
Oh, man.
Man, I think you mean non-birthing person.
Sorry.
Oh, non-birthing person.
This one's a toughie.
I think though, I think with all the fire, justice, and there seems to be like a sense of justice going on there.
I'm gonna go with peaceful protest, final answer.
Ooh, I'm sorry.
That's correct.
Oh, yeah.
Question number 14 for $500,000 or one tank of gas.
Dun dunno Is this a peaceful protest or an insurrection?
Boy.
Boy.
Sorry, underage.
Person who identifies as a future non-birthing person.
This one's really hard.
I'm gonna phone a friend.
Okay.
Who are you gonna call?
Ghostbusters.
Is this a joke to you?
No, but I'm sorry, Mr. Philibus.
I just like to call my friend Cammy.
Okay, let's get Cammy on the line.
Hi, Cammie.
Hello.
It's Frank.
Well, hi, Frank.
I'm on peaceful protest or insurrection, and I really need your help.
Okay, there's a mob burning down a courthouse, and uh, I need to know if it's a peaceful protest or an insurrection.
Frank, what courthouse is it?
Um, I'm not sure.
It looks like maybe Portland.
Are they protesting that they're losing the right to kill babies, or is it something?
Well, it kind of looks like I'm speaking.
Well, is it that they can't kill babies, or is it something else?
I think Kavanaugh.
I don't know.
Yeah, maybe it's the maybe it's the babies thing.
Some people think we shouldn't kill babies.
Babies are like small humans, and that's bad.
So if it's like that, that's a peaceful protest.
Okay, well, Cammy seems pretty sure of herself.
I'll go with peaceful protest, final answer.
You really stepped in it this time.
You moron.
You absolute exhaust pipe.
Because you just won half a million dollars!
$500,000, everybody!
Now, for the grand prize of $1 million or one week's worth of groceries for a family of four, is this a peaceful protest or an insurrection?
Oh man.
I mean, a gender-neutral individual.
it's not quite as fiery as all the peaceful protest people but I'm not destroying quite as much that oh there's a guy with the buffalo hat which is kind of scary I'll go with insurrection.
You stupid Windex sniffing P-brained tub of lard!
Were you dropped on your head as a child?
Did your mom watch Teletubbies when you were in the womb?
Is Sammy Hager your favorite Ben Halen singer?
Is Kokomo your favorite Beach Boys song?
I just can't believe you would be so idiotic as to answer correctly and win $1 million!
I got a million dollars!
I can pay off some of my stupid loans now!
Now settle down, everyone, because we have one bonus question.
How will the government spend their half of your million dollars?
Wait, what?
Is it A, Argentinian Clown College?
B, providing cocaine to Japanese quail.
C, paying senior citizens to play World of Warcraft, or D, all of the above.
Uh, can we sock you back to the government getting half my money?
I'm gonna need an answer, Frank.
A, I guess?
Finally, a good answer.
But you're wrong!
Ha!
It's D, all of the above.
congratulations this has been peaceful protest or insurrection which is the game show where you you already saw the show you You know what the rules are.
Join us next week where we steal a cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory for justice.
It seems like they'll run out of material after a couple episodes.
It's not quite as evergreen as Jeopardy or I'm not sure.
There's a lot of peaceful protests to work with.
But there's only one insurrection.
Well, it depends on who wins the election.
You wouldn't run out of peaceful protest images.
You will run out of insurrection images at some point.
2024.
Today's episode is sponsored by the 2022 Crenshaw Youth Summit.
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Well, as always, we're going to go through the news, and it was a busy week for Joe Biden.
So we'll just take turns reading that a lot.
Now, all these headlines come from the Babylon B, and I think all of these were published on Friday.
So one very busy day for Joe Biden.
Here we go.
Biden condemns fascism in speech while also debuting Attractive New Mustache.
Biden rejected from Austrian art school.
Biden also published an autobiographical memoir called My Struggle.
That's interesting.
I wonder if they have translations in other languages.
I'd like to read that.
French?
I hear the German's actually the best translation.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
Here's another one.
Biden announces new program for patriotic youngsters called Biden Youth.
Or Biden-Yuden.
It's actually another way to say it.
Is that it?
Yeah.
So Biden establishes secret police.
Is that not right?
Isn't that Biden-Uden?
Was it Hitler-Juden?
Juden means something else in French.
I thought it was Hitler-Juden.
Am I wrong?
I think so.
What are you talking about?
Hitler?
I could be.
Oh, I don't know.
That's how we were.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Biden-Yuden.
Yeah.
How did they say Hitler Youth?
Jung is young.
So I don't know what youth is, though.
Yeah, but there's like the whole, what did they call it in German?
That's what I want to know.
We don't have to talk about this anymore.
I don't know why we're suddenly.
I just don't understand why we're talking about Hitler because we're talking about what Biden.
Anyways.
There's no connection.
Biden establishes secret police.
Wow.
Read for the first time.
Biden abolishes office of president and names self Supreme Führer.
Why the German?
I think it's just a fancy title.
Supreme Father.
There's words that just get out there in the world.
Supreme Father.
Biden opens camps in which to concentrate political dissidents and other undesirables.
Which is spelled wrong, and I'm wondering if it's understood.
Decebles?
Actually, undercibles.
Okay, well, that's not good.
Biden signs non-aggression pact with Poland.
That's good.
He's pro-Peace.
He likes Poland.
Biden announces invasion of Poland.
It's weird.
Not so good.
Weird couple days.
Okay.
Maybe he did it peacefully.
Peaceful invasion.
A peaceful invasion.
Mostly peaceful invasion.
France surrenders to Biden.
Biden announces strategic alliance with Mussolini and Emperor Hirohito.
Biden forces stalled 12 miles from Moscow.
Fell victim to one of the classic blunders, getting involved in a land war in Asia.
And finally, Biden swallows cyanide capsule, an underground bunker.
Sad.
That was a rough week.
It's a rough day.
It was happening.
Yeah.
And maybe we can put up the screenshot of the website from that day.
You guys can pull that up.
And we can just say it's a historic day in Babylon B history.
He left behind a dog that loved him and a burgeoning art career.
Yeah.
That's right.
Sad.
Or he escaped to the Alps.
But one thing you can say about him, though.
I think he might be on the moon.
He might be in South America.
He did follow his heart.
He did.
And I think that he watched a lot of Disney before he did all this.
Yeah.
Followed his heart.
We also have a YouTube sketch about paying off college students' loans.
There's a girl that comes to the door, and there's an attractive-looking man in the house.
Average to low-grade-looking man, I would say.
I'll take that.
Well, he has banquet beer, too.
And tries to convince him to pay her $10,000 for going to college.
So check that out on our YouTube channel.
YouTube.com/slash the Babylonians.
Worth seeing.
It's worth seeing.
And now it's time for our banger of the week.
Banger of the week.
After using FBI to suppress sons' crimes and raid political rivals home, Biden warns democracy in danger.
That's not satire.
That's real news.
That's the real deal.
It's just.
I like his face.
That is, I do like his face.
Look at his face.
He's yelling.
He watched Dwight Schroot's speech class.
Just pounding on the.
The wheels of.
What does he say?
The wheels of history are coated with the blood of those.
My favorites aversion in that episode is how people actually like the speech.
They're all cheering.
Yeah.
You think, oh no, it's going to be bad.
And everyone's like, yeah.
All right, but not all Babylon B headlines will be laughed at by all people at all times.
Which brings us to the bomb of the week.
Bomb of the week.
Child announces plan to remain in Halloween costume for next eight weeks.
This is autobiography.
This would have been autobiographical for me.
Where did that photo come from?
That's very specific.
It was on Shutterstock.
I know, but like a child in a Halloween costume with like a solidarity photo.
Isn't that great?
That's why I can't believe this article happened to that.
Is that really a stock photo?
We didn't take that one?
No, yeah, it was just a stock photo.
Somebody was thinking ahead.
I tried to find a photo of one of my kids because they'll put on their link costume like two months before Halloween and never take it off.
So this is my joke that nobody likes.
No, I like it.
I think my kids did say you liked it at least.
Well, Liam did.
Some of the other kids don't.
Yeah.
But, oh well, you know, you guys need to get a better sense of humor.
It is time for Sizzler Facts.
22 weeks ago, we debuted a new feature on the podcast called Sizzler Facts.
And here is today's Sizzler Effect.
In 1983, there was a butterfly shrimp crisis due to El Niño, which caused a series of storms and raised the temperature of the water in the shores of South Africa, disrupting the butterfly shrimp population.
Butterfly shrimp is a species of shrimp and not just a specific cooking method.
And because of this, Sizzler had to switch to tiger shrimp for a period of time, which is subsequently now also endangered.
This has been Sizzler Facts.
And now, it's time for Sizzler comment.
Sizzler comment.
Sizzler comment.
It's Groundshawk Day.
It's Groundhog Day.
Had this to say about Sizzler.
The return of Guinness World Records, much better than Sizzler Facts, if for no other reason that it annoys Kyle.
What?
Too bad the dare came from someone who thinks Age of Empire is better than Age of Empires 2.
Oh, so there we go.
I'm sorry, kid.
It's very small.
I have the eyes of an eagle.
The Age of Empire 2 is better than The Age of Empires 3.
Spoken like someone who doesn't know what Age of Empires is.
That was a strange Sizzler.
It was kind of disjointed.
The Guinness Book of World Records.
Likes the Guinness Book of World Records, doesn't like Sizzler Facts, but only likes Guinness World Records because it annoys me.
But didn't like the person who said that because they liked Age of Empires 2 bad.
And apparently you annoy them for not liking Age of Empires 2.
Yeah.
I think we've been getting a lot of complaints about Sizzler Facts lately, and I think we should do something about it.
What do you have in your life?
Punish the people that complain?
Maybe we do a full episode of just Sizzler Facts for them.
Maybe we just double the size of two, maybe two Sizzler Facts per week.
Sizzler song.
I was driving on the...
It's an idea.
I was driving all the way out to Wyoming, and I passed by the Sizzler in Provo, Utah.
Yeah.
That's right outside the SDZ.
The Sizzler time zone?
Dead Zone.
Oh, Sizzler Dead Zone.
It's right on the edge.
It's literally right on the edge.
But it was in Provo, too.
So for our Mormon friends, that's probably where they go to Sizzler.
They have caffeine-free Coke.
I wonder if it is different.
They probably have different stuff.
They have a few more choices than we do.
They do.
Have wives?
Wives, planets.
There's a lot of things.
Well, if you don't like Sizzler Facts, we are going to open a camp in which to concentrate you.
This has been Sizzler Commons.
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All right, well, a couple weeks ago, we did our favorite jokes on the podcast, and we are now going to read to you some of your favorite jokes.
So you get to write jokes, send them to us, and we will read them back to you.
This is a great segment already.
Favorite jokes.
All right, here is one from Austin Robertson, who's the voice of the Babylon Bee.
Two atoms walk into a bar.
One stops suddenly and says, oh no, I've lost an electron.
The other one says, are you sure?
And the first one says, I'm positive.
Oh, no.
Groning.
I wanted you to read that as Austin.
Oh, well.
Austin.
Sorry.
I can read this one.
Mr. Sender's 38.
I think it's Mrs. Ender.
Mrs. Ender, 38, says, Two hunters are out in the woods.
One of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy wipes out his, whips out his phone and calls 911.
He gasps, my friend is dead.
What can I do?
The operator says, Calm down.
I can help.
First, let's make sure he's dead.
There's a silence.
Then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says, Okay, what now?
Because he shot the first one.
Because he did.
Yeah.
From Captain Hwaffel.
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
Where are you hurting? asked the doctor.
You have to help me, said the woman.
I hurt all over.
What do you mean, all over? asked the doctor.
Be a little more specific.
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, ow, that hurts.
Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, ouch, that hurts too.
Then she touched her right earlobe and said, Ow, even that hurts.
The doctor examined her thoughtfully for a moment and gave her diagnosis.
You have a broken finger.
Is it weird that I felt like your doctor was a samurai?
You have a broken finger.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Here's another from Captain Waffle.
Favorite from a friend.
Your mom was so old, she was there when God said, Let there be light.
And your mom was so fat that nothing happened.
Oh, yeah.
He expects a heresy jar in.
Heresy jar.
Okay, from Gamazing or G-Mazing, why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're really good at it.
They are really good at it.
I like that joke.
I've noticed that.
Yeah.
What was from Frasier Nutsov?
What was Hitler's favorite tropical getaway?
Answer: See Guil.
Sea Guile.
See Guile.
See Gil.
It's right off the coast of Morocco.
Right now I see Jarrett.
And right now I see Kyle.
Sea Guy.
See Guil.
You guys see Guil over there?
I see him.
Big Bear Hat says, what's green and has wheels?
Grass.
I was just kidding about the wheels.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
I like how Jarrett gets the small text one again.
Every time.
Can you guys zoom this a touch?
I've got my eyes on.
Okay, so there's the hunting themed ones.
Oh, yeah.
I keep getting the hunting ones.
Okay, from Cameron Conrad, two weeks ago.
It said, a man was out hunting in the woods.
Suddenly, a bear tore through the foliage and opened its mouth wide, revealing many sharp teeth.
Trembling with fear, the man dropped to his knees and cried, Oh Lord, please make this bear a Christian.
Whereupon the bear also dropped to his knees and said, Oh Lord, please bless this food that I'm about to eat.
I remember this one being with lions and missionaries growing up.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
All right, guys.
Well, some of those jokes were acceptable.
Now we're moving on to our discussion of the rings of power.
Is it the rings of wokeness or the rings of goodness?
We're about to find out.
Is Dan coming in?
All right, so the rings of power came out this week.
It's Amazon's billion-dollar Lord of the Rings show.
I've been opposed to it from the get-go.
No, let me backtrack on that.
When it was announced, I was cautiously optimistic.
So it might be cool to see that age on the screen.
And then when they first released any material from it, I was immediately completely uninterested.
I will not be watching it.
See, when they first announced it, I was instantly skeptical.
And I can't say when they released anything media because I just didn't, I don't watch trailers all stuff.
You don't.
I was very excited initially, and then I kind of started realizing that it was Amazon that was making it.
And so I was even like when they had all that news about the intimacy coordinator and they were like intimacy coordinator.
I was easy.
That's right.
Well, but even from them, then I was like, eh, like, let's just wait and see how this shakes out.
I was still a little, I was trying to, you know, not play my hand so soon.
Well, the breakdown, the breakdown, too, I think that went out to actors said something about like must be willing to do full media instead.
Right.
It's going to be Game of Thrones.
Yeah, but I wonder how many projects at the early stages, they're just not sure what's going to be in it, which isn't a good sign for a Lord of the Rings show.
Don't get me wrong.
That should never have been come into consideration.
I'm not disagreeing.
I think it's safe to say that all of us were highly, highly, highly skeptical of the show.
So every trailer I saw looked like bad CGI.
It looked like, you know, they were really emphasizing weird elements of Tolkien's world.
And then every interview with the most concerning to me, every interview with the showrunners, they did not understand Tolkien's themes.
They kept saying, we are really hitting on Tolkien's themes of diversity and inclusion and different races coming together to fight evil.
And I'm like, that's not even in the top 20 of Tolkien's themes.
That was kind of my, so it's come out, and now it sounds like it's a mixed back.
It's not as bad as somebody's out there.
The show was officially out.
As of the second episode, it's not as bad as some people thought.
Yeah, the show was officially out.
Even though all of us were skeptical to begin with, will the Tolkien heretics please raise their hands?
So you're saying people who enjoy that kind of like the show.
Yes.
Okay, so I'm in that camp.
In fact, I found myself, I watched the two episodes.
For the blind or the audio listeners, Jared is raising his hand.
He is wearing a gray hat.
I'm wearing a gray hair.
And a gray shirt.
He's raising his hand.
And a gray shirt.
And Kyle are not.
And Brandon's wearing a purple shirt.
But also, Kyle has not seen the show.
And I will not, because, no, I will not.
Okay, so the first two episodes I watched, and I found myself last night wishing that there was another episode I could watch.
Kyle's kind of right in terms of like just what he saw from the trailers.
He's right that it's not Tolkien.
Right.
That like any element of the trailer that you got, that one-minute trailer, there's nothing in that trailer to get you, if you're a Tolkien fan, if you read the books, if you're into the Cimmerillion, there was no element in that trailer where you can point to and be like, oh, that's from the book.
Oh, that's what Tolkien wrote.
So that was the expectation that they set up in the trailer is like that we're doing our own thing.
We're doing our new thing.
We're going to write the book that Tolkien never wrote.
And after the first two episodes are out now, that's exactly what you got.
I vividly remember being in junior high when the Fellowship of the Ring trailer came out and going, those are all the scenes from the books.
I remember that feeling seeing the trailer for the first time and jumping out of my chair in a room by myself.
To be fair, though, like the percentage of the population that's read the Cimmerillion and been able to sort of like come up with some kind of storyline through the Cimmerillion is like a very small percentage of the population.
So Dan is absolutely right.
And I would like to caveat all my future statements with the understanding that this is not Tolkien.
This is not.
You have to set it aside.
You say, here's what Tolkien's world is.
Here's what Tolkien's characters are.
Okay, this show is not that.
Let's set that aside.
We all agree.
Now, is this a good show?
I'm with you.
But I feel the same way.
And I think I come down on a different line than you guys.
Yeah, you probably do.
And for me, I can't even separate it.
Like, if you're going to put Tolkien's name on a show.
Of course.
And I totally understand that.
I mean, like, with Mission Impossible, I know a lot of people really enjoy the new Mission Impossible movies.
I cannot watch them because of the utter disrespect from the first movie.
Like, to the original.
Yeah, from the first movie.
For the first movie.
For the first movie.
But the movie was the TV show.
It was an adaptation of a TV show.
Yeah, right.
Yes, but because I was a huge fan of the TV show.
And so the first movie, like, just trounced on that.
And I was like, I.
And the show was an adaptation of Shakespeare.
I cannot enjoy this.
So I understand that.
It's much to do about nothing.
So I understand that.
And obviously, I hold Tolkien in much higher regard than Mission Impossible.
So I absolutely quote the show.
Can we screenshot the segment two notes and put them on the screen for all our viewers to see?
Because they crack me up.
Segment two, Rings of Power Discussion.
Everyone is a woman.
This is my criticism.
Dan is dancing through.
This is my criticism.
Actually, I think.
Did you write that?
Who wrote Everyone is a Woman?
I didn't write that, but that's what we were talking about yesterday.
I don't mind having female storylines.
But when every storyline is a woman, like the prime character is a woman, and we have four disjointed storylines, like you were saying.
And they're all female-driven, which I'm fine with.
Like, that's okay.
But honestly.
That happens in real life.
And so, like, so far in the first two episodes, two creatures, people have been killed, and both of them were by women.
And this made me think about it.
And it's like, you see some of the seeds of openness coming out, some of the seeds, but it's still within what I have just coined, the Wokerton window.
Like, it's still possible.
It's still possible.
And one of those kills is by Galadriel, who I think is pretty cool.
Gladriel could kill anybody.
Yeah, who I think is pretty cool.
Yeah.
So it's, I mean, Galadriel is not, though, like, physically, like, she's not a warrior necessarily.
And you would have to, she's powerful on her own.
She could just wipe them out, like, with her mind bullets or whatever.
But they totally made her character into a Mary Sue character.
So, like, if you saw the trailer or the stuff that they released before the show came out, where they launch her off a sword and she goes and takes down the troll all by herself with like seemingly no effort.
They basically, and this is after the troll has like wiped out like three or four other elite elven warriors.
You get this idea.
It's like, well, why didn't they just have Galadriel go in there first?
Like, it's like, why are they even trying?
Yeah, she was in another room.
I mean, granted, she was not there when the snow troll showed up.
Yeah.
But also, like, you look at Legolas, who obviously is probably one of the elitist warriors.
Well, I had the same problem.
I had the same problem with the Peter Jackson trilogy.
That was the first movie.
That was the adaptation from the movie, which isn't like what's in the book.
Yeah, so Peter Jackson had Legolas kind of shield surf his way through the trilogy and take down whole elephants all by himself.
I had the same problem with Legolas.
I saw people about Legolas was trending on Twitter because people were saying, oh, you guys are a bunch of misogynists.
You just don't like strong female characters.
Look, Legolas did this, and you guys weren't complaining.
It's like, no, I was complaining because I hated those scenes because it totally takes you out of the movie.
It's like, oh, here's a 30-second clip of Legolas just being like Superman right now.
And there's power creep throughout the trilogy where in the first one, it takes the entire party to take that troll down.
And he gravely injures Frodo, you know, and there's all of them are trying to get this troll.
That's what Eric Warren and Born.
And by the last movie, it's more there.
Now he's like surfing on elephant drunks and stuff.
Power creep's another term I use for Joseph Biden.
Power creep.
Yeah, that's interesting.
Well, let me be clear too.
It's not that I, again, like, I don't want to come off as a misogynist because I feel like I feel like.
But there's just so many women in the show and it just bugs.
I just hate them so much.
But what you're saying, though, what you're getting at is I think that every subplot right now, the strong or the competent or the right character are women or black.
Thank you for Dan.
Thank you for Dan's planning.
So my motives.
I'm just kidding.
No, I do like, because for instance, I hated Captain Marvel.
And I think for the same reasons everyone else did.
But I loved Wonder Woman.
And that's, and so that's, I love Wonder Woman as a powerful figure that was connected to other people that had this relationship with other folks that had a good motive for actually doing what she did.
You know, Captain Marvel was just like totally disconnected.
There's no reason.
No relationships.
And I feel like Galadriel's kind of like Captain Marvel a little bit right now.
She's got only like this platonic friend that she doesn't really like, you know, Elrond, who she's.
Is Kelleborn in the show?
No.
Is he going to be in the show?
Is he going to be in the show?
I don't think so.
I don't know.
He's just not, he's not there at all.
He's not anywhere in the show.
And at this point in the time, and I know they screwed up the timeline, but was she married to Kelleborn?
There's just too many men already.
So they're not casing.
They had to make it.
And also, Galadriel's too busy.
She's commanding the armies of the North and she's fighting the evil.
She doesn't have time for getting married.
And you mean the four, the four elves that she travels with?
Also, I have the theory that since Kellebrimbor is such a crucial part to this story, they don't want too many similar names to confuse people.
So do you guys think that the first two episodes that are now out, and by the time this comes out, there'll be another episode out in episode three.
Do you think that they are well-written subplots?
Like you said, let's separate Tolkien.
Now it's a show.
It's a show good.
So now we have four subplots that are going on.
I know a lot of people are complaining about the writing.
And to be completely honest, I'm not going to say it's good writing.
I just didn't notice that it was bad.
And possibly because I was, because I thought the shots were beautiful.
It was beautiful.
It's visually just very stunning.
Gorgeous.
I have some examples.
The dude walks over the hill and you have the two trees.
I thought that was just gorgeous.
It's totally gorgeous.
Yeah.
I agree.
And some of the shots are a little Zack Snyder-y, like little, what's it, dioramas, like really dramatically lived dioramas.
But, you know.
Yeah.
I thought it was gorgeous.
That's what they're saying.
You say Zach Snyder, like it's a bad thing.
Well, there are some beautiful shots.
I'll tell you the thing about the beauty of it, which was great, but it's also like too much of a good thing.
Like, you know, every single city that they go to is this vast, like, amazing landscape of incredible towers and things like that.
Everything's beautiful.
And so you don't have like, I mean, I guess the Hobbit, the Hobbit world is a little bit primitive, but I think everything else is just like really well developed and stuff like that.
So I think that in the Lord of the Rings, one of the beautiful parts is that when you get to Gondor, finally, after the whole, you know, it's like, whoa, Gondor is incredible.
You get to Rivendell.
Oh, wow.
But it's like these like moments.
Like, it's not every scene is that's different, difference of the ages, too, because that would have been more germane to the third age, I think.
And then in this show, they kind of take away that grandeur of like we're walking across a map and we finally get to this place.
They just fast travel everywhere.
So they're in Linden, which is like the elf capital.
And then the very next scene, all of a sudden they're in Oregon, which is like hundreds of miles away.
And then they fast travel again.
They go to Kazundoom.
And then part of the sloppy writing is that Elrond and Kellebrimbor, they walk, the two of them, to Kazadum, and they just show up in the same clothes.
They have no equipment.
They have no food.
They walked there.
They're just there.
It's like, how did they get there?
They walked from the Peter.
It took no time.
And then the other, the other, this is the one bad writing piece that I really hated is they showed up at Kazadum.
And then, you know, Elrond just goes in and is like, yeah, yeah, I'll meet you back home.
The other guy has to walk home by himself.
I was like, what?
You know, you're not going to try to get him in.
You're not going to try to bring him in.
I don't know.
It even bothered me a little bit in Jackson's trilogy when Gandalf goes to Gondor to research what's going on with the ring.
And he just leaves and he's like, keep it secret, keep it safe.
And then they show him showing up at Gondor.
And I'm like, I know you've truncated months of travel, but I didn't, even on the screen, it felt way too rushed to me.
Like, I'm like, no, you need to show the scope of Middle Earth.
That part was kind of like a, I think in defense of that, I think it was a side, you needed to move the plot a lot.
Would you like it if they did an entire real-time?
Yeah, 12-hour, 12-day, 12-day movie of the world.
I want it in real time.
But you can do a scene of travel or a scene of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no, just a little bit of establishment.
I'm not saying there's a better way for Jackson to have done it on the screen.
I'm just saying that having read the book, you're like, it gives you a much kind of just compressed view of what Middle-earth is.
Treasure in Heaven is great, but it's not going to buy you a tank of gas.
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I have some examples of the excellent writing that's on the show.
If you give me a second, all right.
So in the very first episode, do you know why a ship floats and a stone cannot?
Yes.
Because a stone sees only downward.
I had, oh, that's terrible.
I thought this part, that part was.
When I watched it, I was like, oh, no, no, this is going to be terrible.
That first sequence was awful.
And then we have Fingolfin again.
And I forgot about it.
Or no, Finrod.
Like a dog.
Sometimes we cannot know until we have touched the darkness.
That's so terrible.
Well, that's actually, I think that morally is not what Tolkien would have said.
Yeah.
Here's Elrond.
Here's the next one.
What does it mean?
It doesn't mean anything.
Yeah.
Well, not just that.
It's not what Tolkien would have said.
Like, I think it's a separation of darkness and light.
Let me start.
We have the scene where Elrond gets all excited because he changed the word of Gil Galad's speech.
They made him a communications major, by the way.
And so he changes one line from dead animal to spoiled carcass.
And he's like, oh, yeah, that was me.
Like, I changed that line.
You mean body?
That's how you get interviewed.
Body positive King Steve.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's writing speeches for King Steve.
Not being super well-versed in the second age.
Is that any truth to that?
Like, was he writing speeches for it's all made up?
It's not.
Well, they made him into a politician.
Which I think is, I mean, that's not a bad read.
Like, Elrond could have been anything, but in order to become the king of Rivendell, King Elrond, he probably would have had to go up through the political system.
That makes sense.
That makes sense to me.
And he would scheme, politically scheme to get rid of Galadril.
That's getting into the Tolkien.
Well, and he probably would have gone to Rivendell University and studied PR or something.
I don't know.
Give a speech in front of some Marines and like bang on the.
So here's Gil Galad.
He says, For the same wind that seeks to blow out a fire may also cause it to spread.
Yeah, see, these are all just like relativistic, sort of, you know, modern morality being thrust into this world.
And that bothers me.
I need to go read some Tolkien to cleanse the power.
Yeah.
It's not high pros, for sure.
Dude, I was just reading.
Here's the last one.
One.
I'll just do one more.
I'm gonna bring this up.
This is an episode two, Elrond.
Where there is love, it is truly never dark.
Yeah, I guess it's like, yeah, in some of it, it's like, okay, you could see maybe what they're trying to say, but it's just so clumsy.
Yeah.
But, like, what do you're comparing it to Tolkien?
Exactly, because it's Tolkien on it.
I know, but how are you going to?
What are you going to do?
Like, what are you going to do?
Like, you can't resurrect Tolkien from the dead.
Don't do it.
Make your own universe.
Yeah, but luckily, Tolkien wrote down everything that he thought.
You know, like, he wrote a lot.
I like to just transcribe all the other Tolkien writings and just make an entire script out of it.
I would sum up everything I think about it in that we've had two hours of show and four subplots, and I don't care about any of the characters.
That's I like, I like Durin and Deesa because, like, we so the biggest problem is that it's a you like the black character.
It tells you all the dialogue in this in the show so far, it tells you, like, it tells you that they're friends, it tells you that they're romantic, it tells you that it doesn't show you anything except the one scene where you see Doran and Deesa, you see their family life, you see something finally, and that's after two hours.
And I don't care about anything else in the show.
Can I read this?
Because it's really great.
It's something that one of our friends that is a Tolkien expert, like Tolkien Lewis expert, she wrote the show.
Anna Gleier, she's been on this show before.
Yeah, she has been on the show.
So what, and she did not write this by Michael Terau quoting someone.
She says, What makes Tolkien's work unique is the moral heart of his story and the consistency with which he maintains it.
Rather than reveling in the acquisition and exercise of power, the Lord of the Rings celebrates its renunciation, insisting that the domination of others is always morally wrong.
Tolkien is utterly consistent with this morality, even at the expense of his most cherished characters.
Frodo has no other choice than to use the ring of power to dominate Gollum, but he still pays for the immoral act when he is unable to complete his quest or to enjoy his life afterwards.
Can a company as intent upon domination as Amazon really understand this perspective and adapt that morality to the screen?
I think this is what we're running into.
It's a morality issue.
They don't understand it.
I'm still partially expecting this entirely to derail.
I think possibly I was just taken aback because I was fully expecting to absolutely hate it.
And possibly just that lack of not hating it is, I mean, that's the biggest issue.
So I fully expect it to get worse.
I'm not holding my breath.
Yeah.
So I'll say also in response to, you know, I was saying like, well, that's not Tolkien.
And you're like, well, they don't have dialogue from Tolkien.
And I do understand that this is a different challenge than making Lord of the Rings.
And while the Hobbit movies are terrible, they're terrible in a different way because they had the script.
They could have just made The Hobbit.
See, that's the thing.
It's oddly enough, I enjoyed this more than I enjoyed the Hobbit movies.
Because it's probably a better show, you know, in some ways, just because The Hobbit was so bad on so many levels.
And it had the added wound of they could have just done this.
Exactly.
There was, there was.
I never even finished the Hobbit trilogy.
I haven't seen the third movie.
It's not worth watching.
Well, the end.
The Battle of Five Armies.
That is nothing.
The Battle of the Five Army.
It's a similar writing.
Although, my friend.
What's the line when the dwarf is dying and the girl made up girl elf?
She goes, what does she say, Dan?
I'm croaking.
I don't know, and I don't care to remember.
She's no, you wouldn't have seen it since the third movie.
Got it, yeah.
She goes, why does it hurt so much?
Because your finger is broken.
Why does it hurt so much?
Because it was real.
So bad.
Like, why?
What are we doing here?
All right.
Well, so don't watch The Reigns of Power.
No.
I like it.
Don't watch it.
And we are now going to talk about the Babylon B Guide to Democracy.
So this is a book that has just come out that we have written.
This is the second book in our series and the fourth Babylon B book.
We had the Babylon be how to be a perfect Christian.
We had the sacred text of the Babylon be the Babylon Bee Guide to Awokeness, and now the Byblon Be Guide to Democracy.
So this is part of our guide series where we write these kind of satirical how-to guides and we stuff them with illustrations, graphics, stick figures, et cetera.
These are like the Four Dummies series, but satirical.
But for smarties instead.
And with way better pictures.
On page 94 of this book, we talk about borking.
Let's all go to page 90.
Named after Robert Bork, the Supreme Court justice who was.
So Borking, nominated.
Oh, so Reagan nominated Bork and they dug up stuff on him to get him politically canceled or whatever, right?
So he was.
Political assassination.
Political assassination.
So borking is now the term.
So on page 94, we have an interactive feature where you can generate your own reasons to bork someone.
All perfectly valid and all more reasonable than actual reasons that real Supreme Court justice nominees have been borked.
All right, so we are going to flip.
Now, let's each flip three coins on our page, and those will be your three reasons for borking.
Okay, are you flipping onto my link?
Drop it or flip it?
Just drop it.
Okay.
All right.
This has a name that rhymes with Ken Rapiro.
Oh, who was the person?
That's a good reason.
Once waved at the person behind you and made you look like an idiot when you waved back.
I would bork someone for that.
And uses talk to text in public.
I just got borked.
Look at the camera and say, I've been borked.
I've been borked.
All right, Kyle.
We need a sad bump bump on our business.
Some of them might land on the same ones.
All right, it landed on this one.
Okay, wherever it landed.
Kyle is being borked for the following reasons.
He thinks IPAs taste good.
This is true.
Wow.
He ruins cookies by adding raisins to them.
No, But it's a lie, so go.
And finally, Kyle is Lynn Manuel Miranda.
I do have a similarity.
There's some similarities.
All right.
All right.
Now, so we've borked Jarrett.
We've borked me.
Now we're going to bork.
We're going to bork Brandon here.
Brandon.
Oh, that looks like it's here.
Okay.
Okay.
Waves goodbye on Zoom calls.
I do that to my nieces and nephews.
Okay, yeah.
Well, that's acceptable.
Under five foot nine.
It could be.
Yeah.
With a little chance.
And nieces in your shoes.
And is a vegan.
Oh, that's heresy.
Yeah.
That's terrible.
But you're getting borked, so it's lies.
Like, it could just be lies.
Right, right, right.
We know that's not true for Brandon.
All right, so now we need to flip coins on a dance page.
Okay.
Daniel.
Daniel.
Here you go.
I'll hit it here.
Hold it flat.
Hold it flat.
I'm trying.
Here.
I'll just use a pen.
Right here.
We didn't think this through.
You missed the entire book.
I missed it.
All right.
Drive slowly in the left lane.
Once waved at the person behind you and made you look like you were an idiot when you waved back.
And too black.
All true.
Damn.
All right.
We also have a mud slinging generator on page 148 so we can generate some mud.
I just rolled 4D12 on my phone.
And here we have, this is an insult that I can use on my opponent in a political race.
So, hey, Brandon.
Yes.
You're a philanderan, gun-totin, Italian cheesebag.
Would you like to roll a.
I like the Italian with the cheesebag.
So now he's going to get back at it.
Get like a bag of Italian cheese.
I would order an Italian cheese bag.
Kyle, you cheating, commie-loving, greasy.
I can't say that word, so I'll use the next one.
Soldier.
Wait, what was it?
Number four.
You'll have to buy the book to find out what it was.
You know, that is right.
I'll roll one here and see what I get.
So we've got to debate Dan against Jarrett to see if Jarrett gets elected.
You are a high-falutin, four-eyed, sizzly square.
Sizzly square.
All right.
All right, let's see.
Okay, Dan.
Uh-oh.
You are a cheating, puppy-hating Italian juggalo.
I'm voting for Jarrett.
I'm voting for Jarrett.
There you go.
Was this inspired by the Trump nickname?
Like Sleepy Joe.
No, this was inspired by Lion, Dogface, Pony Soldier.
Oh, of which we actually have an illustration of the Lion, Dogface, Pony Soldier.
Look at that.
Look at that line.
All right, let's do one more and then I have.
I'm actually rendered by Bettina.
Yes, that's right.
Bettina.
Yeah.
Okay, so this is where you can generate your own bureaucratic agency from the government.
So one of the alphabet agencies, like CIA.
What page is this on?
This is on page 72.
72.
All right, first letter of the last thing I ate.
I had a protein drink.
So first letter of your mama's name.
Okay.
Last person you texted was Kirk Cameron.
Oh, actually, his name's enough.
That's true.
We were talking the other day.
Kirk Cameron texted me.
Can you give me a random letter, Jared?
F.
Okay.
You're supposed to ask a friend.
Oh, wait, the cozy office of rowdy homosexuals.
Oh, the rowdy ones.
Specifically, it's a round one.
It's a cozy office, but those homosexuals are super rowdy.
They're rowdy.
I wouldn't be surprised if our government was actually funding this.
Did you get one?
Oh, I just closed it.
72.
First letter of the last thing I ate was brisket.
First letter, my mom's name, K. Last person I texted, Bed Bath, and Beyond, apparently.
When did you text Bed Bath?
They texted me.
And ask a friend for a random letter.
Jarrett, you are my friend.
Jay.
Jay.
All right.
The National Interest Group of Mandalorian Pollution.
Bubba.
All right, Dan.
So first letter of last thing you ate.
Okay, bubble.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
The federal base.
I already like it.
A furtive Jarrett.
Give me a letter.
M. He's everybody's friend.
Federal base of furtive drone strikes.
Drone strikes.
All right, let's see.
The last thing I ate was the Jennifer Anniston salad.
Let's see.
Wait, should we back up and dwell on that for a second?
All right.
So.
Okay, so my mother's name is Orinda.
Oh, I like this.
And then S. Let's see.
And Dan, give me a Z. Z.
Okay, great.
Okay, so this is the reprehensible dance troupe of hold on.
Flavorful.
And then you said Z, Doom.
Yeah.
Doom is like my favorite one of our words.
The reprehensible dance troupeless doom, but I prefer flavorful.
Flavorful Doom.
Yeah.
Reprehensible dance troupe.
There's a lot of awesome stuff in this book, some great illustrations.
I actually have to go because I'm going to go be on the Adam Corolla show right now.
Could you drop something else right there?
A second name.
It's landed on top of Cork Cameron's name.
So these guys are going to keep talking about the book.
And we're going to ask Dan questions that he wrote from the book, which will be fun.
Awesome.
But I'll see you guys next week, and these guys will finish things out for me.
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Whoa, Kyle.
Suddenly you've become much more handsome.
Yeah, look at that.
Look at the jaw.
Yeah, look at this beard.
I know.
A nice hairline.
I'm appreciating Kyle.
He has been working out.
I can tell.
I can tell.
So we wanted to talk to Dan because he wrote some of these amazing questions that we have at the end of every chapter.
At the end of every chapter, we have, we wanted to make it like it was like a Bible study book or like a devotional book that always asks questions.
Oh, your discussion questions.
Discussion questions, essentially, to get your group to discuss the important things in life.
And so we have some questions like at the end of executive branch, which president is on the $100 bill?
Jared?
That's Thomas Jefferson.
And can you find a bureaucracy in your life?
Ask God to break those chains right now.
But we also added these questions that Dan wrote, one question for every chapter, which, I mean, I think it just ties it in, brings a little levity to the book, such as President Thomas Jefferson was so concerned about going beyond his delegated powers that when confronted with attacks by Barbary pirates, he said he could not go beyond the line of defense and ask Congress to authorize any actions of war.
In this same noble spirit, President Barack Obama once bragged, we are not just going to be waiting for legislation.
I've got a pen and I've got a phone, and I can use that pen to sign executive orders.
If you were president, what would be your favorite power that is found nowhere in the Constitution?
I try to keep it short, punchy.
Yeah.
What I really like about it is that a lot of the other text in the book is so self-serious and like we just really wanted to inform people about how democracy works.
And so that like really brings the jokes to it.
I mean, because we are the Babylon B.
We need to have something like something a little funny and that people can not take so seriously.
Chuckle.
You know, a little chuckle.
At the end of chapter nine, my favorite questions are like where it's the big block and then it asks a very serious question.
And then there's like, in the space below that's provided, please write, you know, what do you think?
And then there's like a little line, just a little tiny line.
That's right.
So good.
Here's a joke that I really appreciated that you wrote.
At the end of chapter nine, it says, Thomas, we're doing a Jefferson one again.
Thomas Jefferson once said, the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
It is its natural manure.
This sort of revolutionary spirit seemed to kindle in the reign of terror of France, against which Edmund Burke took his pen warning, rage and frenzy will pull down more in this half hour than prudence, deliberation, and foresight can build up in 100 years, while suggesting a state without the means of some change is without the means of its conservation.
In the space provided, please analyze the parable of G.K. Chesterton's fence and ask yourself if some abstract rights of men promoted by the likes of Thomas Paine are correct foundation for a stable system of government.
That's so funny.
It's so true.
I mean, I was like, it's so brief, yet there's so much hilarity contained within that little.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
That's a great joke.
That's what I was going for.
Really good joke.
I really appreciate that.
Is there any particular ones that you're proud of?
I have some that I'd like to contribute, if that's okay.
The corporate branch.
This would be chapter seven.
Chapter six.
Yeah, chapter six.
The first question is, do you welcome our corporate overlords?
And remember, Alexa is always listening.
And we have a couple lines there.
I think it's very serious, too.
Will you commit in this very moment to bow to Mickey Mouse?
You know, like those are honest questions.
I do.
Yeah.
I did.
Did you receive Mickey Mouse into your heart?
Unfortunately.
No, but did he choose you or did you choose?
How did you choose?
Are you a Calvinist or an Armenian?
Or an Armickian.
An Armician.
Nice.
That was really good.
Cool.
Yeah, that's what I was going for, those questions.
Just make them punchy, short.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't have to think too deeply about anything.
I really think you captured that.
Tolkien would be proud.
Yeah.
He would be as proud as the writers of the Rings of Power.
Brevity.
Brevity is what we're going for.
All right, guys.
You want to move into our hate mail?
I think we'll do it.
Let's do that.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's enough of the book.
Everyone, go buy the Babylon B Guide to Democracy.
It is available now.
So go get it.
It's great.
It's my favorite book.
There's those games.
There's those questions.
There's just tons of pictures.
It's really a good book.
If you get a lot of work in the Bible, maybe that one.
Maybe.
I mean, that's up there.
I really miss Adam Ford.
So we got a comment on the, we released a video of the exclusive scene from the Rings of Power.
We got it before the show even came out.
That's right.
And we had a comment here from Tom Wade that Amazon Rings of Power series will never be nearly as annoying as seeing those whining to Babylon Bee complain without ceasing about something they have not watched.
You know, it's interesting that he said that because I don't know that we'd complained at all up until this point.
Like we just released the clip from the show.
We just saw, and that handsome, there was a there was a handsome Gondorian.
Less than average.
And he had really nice hair.
I just thought the guy.
I thought you guys got the same actor for Amerigor.
Yeah.
Like, how did Aragorn get in this show?
He was like, you know.
He broke his toe while kicking his helmet.
Yeah.
It was just incredible.
So something they have not watched.
Dan, have you watched it?
I have watched every second.
And will you continue to complain without ceasing?
I now have earned the right to complain without ceasing.
Yeah.
I like it.
I will complain periodically until the show progresses further into chaos and then I might join you in complaining ceaselessly.
Yeah, it's one of those, I'm just not, I'm not even cautiously optimistic.
I'm just cautious.
I'm liking it so far, so we'll see what happens.
I am too, but I reserve the right to change my mind.
Yeah.
And I have the feeling that I'll end up eventually getting it too.
But it will.
It will continue to be beautiful.
We'll talk about it more in the subscriber lounge.
We'll get into more in-depth discussion of the rings of power in the subscriber lounge.
If you didn't get enough of it.
If you didn't get enough of that.
Yeah.
So coming up for subscribers, if you are subscribed to the Babylon B, you get bonus hate mail.
Bonus hate mail.
Subscriber headlines.
Wow.
Subscriber headlines.
And we asked Jarret the second set of 10 questions.
Wow.
So here we go.
Coming up next for Babylon B. We're doing it to mock the evils of the world.
Your hate mail of the week is directly quoting scripture.
It seems very arrogant to dismiss his concern in this matter.
I think that was referencing the men not wearing women's clothes.
I agree with the sentiment, but I also, we're doing it to mock the evils of the world.
Well, and also dressing like a woman is funny.
That's in the Bible.
Don't do this unless it's funny.
Unless it's funny.
Right.
There's a clause.
This has been another edition of the Bee Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee.
Reminding you that someone out there knows something about Carmen.
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