The Bee Weekly: ROE IS DEAD And There Are Women In This Episode
Roe V. Wade got aborted this past week, so the podcast gets hijacked by the women at The Babylon Bee. Men cannot talk about abortion, because of their lack of uteri, so Chandler, Bettina, Emma, and Claire take over to discuss the overturn of almost 50 years of baby murder precedent and how everyone lost their poop on Twitter. Kristan Hawkins from Students For Life of America calls in to tell us about Roe V. Wade being overturned and what that means is up next for the pro-life movement. Also, Pete Hegseth and David Goodwin talk to The Babylon Bee about how progressives hijacked public education and ruined basically everything. This episode is brought to you by our awesome sponsor Alliance Defending Freedom. They are helping us bring you Fake News You Can Trust and now they need your help defending freedom in this nation. Become a flag bearer for freedom today! Check out Pete and David's book Battle for the American Mind and the Association of Classical Christian Schools. Check out Kristan Hawkins' podcast Explicitly Pro-Life. Kyle and Joel's new book The Postmodern Pilgrim's Progress is out and it is good. Get it now! Of course, there is Weakly News with Adam Yenser, but Austin Robertson and Bee Radio take a break this week. Sad! Not good! But, there's Sizzler Facts! Choices! Good! Babylon Bee subscribers get access to the full-length podcast where you can keep learning more about the women behind The Babylon Bee and get access to bonus hate mail, the best subscriber headlines, and the classical article of the week.
And we talked to pro-life activist Kristen Hawkins about what that means.
The Supreme Court struck down a restrictive New York gun law, but now saloon fights and dueling at high noon are skyrocketing.
We talked to Pete Hegse about how the dirty commies took over our schools and made the kids say the Pledge of Allegiance.
Sadly.
The January 6th committee is still going, and we found out Trump's slogan was really grabbed in by the steering wheel.
Ghislaine Maxwell was sentenced to 20 years, and the Clintons have already written her suicide.
All this and more on the B Weekly.
Okay, let's see.
So it looks like we are doing the Bee Weekly.
Yeah.
So Roe v. Wade special.
Roe v. Wade overturned.
Roe v. Wade has been overturned.
Yes.
And we're going to talk about our thoughts on abortion.
It's the Dobbs decision, right?
Dobbs, the Dobbs declared.
The Dobbs versus Jackson's Women's Health Organization.
Thank you, Travis.
Wasn't Dobby that thing from Harry Potter that looks like an aborted fetus?
He was a house health.
Oh, okay.
But he was set free when he touched a sock.
Oh, I see.
As one generally is.
Yeah.
I earned my freedom by touching the sock, as I am now.
Is that how you escaped China?
Actually, now that you mention it, that is the story.
To house elf.
What is this?
You are all men, so we can't talk about this.
We don't think it's fair because you guys don't have uteruses.
Yes.
I have a uterus.
Hey, Babylon B listeners, Kyle here.
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All right.
Well, now the women are here.
Or should we say birthing people?
And now we can discuss Roebie Wade being overturned.
Yeah, men don't have the right to talk about it.
So real women.
Doesn't matter if that's transphobic, then it's transphobic.
But real women should discuss this, right?
It's scary because it's such a touchy subject that even when you're in supposedly a safe space, you still can't express your opinion.
Maybe because one side is going to be angry if you're for it, one side's going to be angry if you're against it.
Yeah.
And everybody, I know guys, the guys here have very strong opinions about it, but they have no chance of getting pregnant, so they don't have to.
Must be nice.
I definitely feel for women.
I think women take on a lot of the risk, like most of the risk, you know, with every risk that you take when you have sex.
So it's a lot on a woman.
I do think that a lot of what's happening today, like the reaction is a lot of displaced anger.
Women are mad that there aren't a lot of good men anymore.
So they're angry that they don't get to do whatever they want in place of birth control or using abortion as birth control.
But what they're really mad about is that they don't have a man that would be with them with that decision.
I think this is a global issue, like a societal issue and not just this one thing.
So it is touchy and it is tricky, but it's the miracle of life being taken too lightly.
I've heard like it's funny just because so many people that are pro-choice are like coming out and saying like actually really creative solutions.
That's like, oh, well, now that this is overturned, like why don't we do this?
But they're saying it like ironically.
Like some of the ones that I've seen that I really like are like, okay, well, if the baby is a human in there, then men should have to pay child support from conception.
And like, sure, like that makes sense.
And it like would hypothetically remedy some of that like bad guy stuff that you were talking about, Chandler.
But people aren't advocating for that seriously.
And they're kind of just using this as an excuse to like mope and be mad about a decision that has already been made.
So I think that there's a lot of stuff that we can be doing to actually like help the women who are in this like, you know, kind of troubled pregnancy state.
Can I get you guys a new thing?
Coffee.
Can you get out of here?
Carol, go.
Just go.
Yeah, I also just think the reaction that we're seeing in Los Angeles and these urban cities are they're losing their minds.
They're piling onto the freeway, stopping random people on the freeway in a state where it is still legal.
It just makes no sense.
Like these people aren't educated and they don't even know what they're upset about.
They just saw it on Twitter.
People realize that I think people think that abortion was abolished completely.
Right.
I think actually it works better this way because if somebody is considering abortion, then they have to think about it much harder.
Like, do they want to make that trek?
Do they want to spend the money to go to the states that or even before they have sex?
They can think about like, well, do I want to whatever or do I want to be with some, do I want to even sleep with this person?
I think that's where real women empowerment comes from.
It's like who you choose to lay down with.
Why is in line, right?
That made them behave because then you get sex if you're well-behaved.
But you got the losies out there that just throw it to anybody and they make it hard for a lady that's willing to wait because, yeah.
I think it's really funny watching the guys that are like, oh, well, I stand with you women.
I'm getting a vasectomy now.
Like, don't use this as your excuse to like shirk the responsibilities that come along with having sex.
Like men saying that makes me laugh so hard because it's like essentially the same thing as like, hey, ladies, I'm going to wear a condom from now on.
You're welcome.
You could have just done that.
Yeah.
And it's interesting like how men and women are.
Like men, for them, like an increase of like touch doesn't increase, you know, their loyalty to a woman.
But women kind of think that if they increase like physical contact, that that'll, you know, be a trade-off for increasing loyalty with their significant other.
But that's not how men work.
Like men, if you increase intimacy, it does not increase loyalty, does not increase that for men.
Like, but for women, they think, and I think a lot of people are like, oh, like, I guess if I don't sleep with them, then we're not going to stay boyfriend and girlfriend.
And they think like, okay, I guess I have to, or he'll leave me.
Like, whatever the normal like cultural issues are that everyone experiences.
It's like, that's not even how men work.
They'll still leave you.
So let's move on to California Assembly Bill 2223 passes the House.
They are proposing a constitutional amendment too.
So it redefines infanticide to exclude self-induced abortions and exclude women from people charged with the crime for their deceased child.
Yeah.
So, this one was interesting because I saw it as like people were saying, oh, it says that you can legally like kill your child up to 30 days after birth.
And I think the point of the bill was to just not have women who make themselves have an abortion be charged for the child.
Because if like the child, I think after a certain week, if you self-induce an abortion, then you would be charged for the child's death.
But now they didn't like really define it very well.
So now for like negligence or like drug use, if you don't have a stillbirth, if you have a like give birth to a live child and you let it die, there won't be an investigation into that kid's death.
And then, so that would mean, um, and so like the California family court said, you know, it's like if you let that happen, if the fetus or like the baby dies from negligence, then it would still be considered a crime.
But if there's no investigations now for the death of a baby up to 30 days or seven to 30 days, then you wouldn't know the cause of death.
And so it's just kind of like, that's a little crazy.
And it is kind of like incentivize or incentivize, what's that word?
Incentivizes.
Incentivizing infant size.
Woman brain.
I think it should be like farm animal rules where like you have to give the baby a name when you give birth to it because that's going to humanize it and then you can't kill it.
Farm animal rules?
Farm animals, don't they?
Eventually get killed.
Yeah, and it's like you're not supposed to name them because like if you name the pig, then you don't want to kill likely to kill them.
Exactly.
It's true because Adam ate his pig.
Yeah, yeah.
He did.
One of the males.
Adam's just a monster.
Yeah, one of the things.
Yeah, they raised a pig.
And then after a while, they like ate it.
And then they would have like, I don't know if I'm like butchering this story.
Like you did the good one, Emma.
They would have like frozen meat in the freezer labeled like Wilbur, you know, like their pet pig name.
We're going to look at some of the things.
We're going to look at some of the reactions on Twitter and another edition of Real Things Lucheck Say.
Real things that blue check say.
Andrew Tarantola.
Pretty little blue check there says burn down the Supreme Court.
Oof.
Nice.
And we're banned from Twitter.
And now TikTok.
Sorry, guys.
So the next one is doxing Brett Kavanaugh, basically.
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
I don't know if it's blocked out on Twitter like that.
No, I think that we did that as a bad.
We just did that.
So I'm supposed to read his address.
That's silly.
Wow.
Eli Ehrlich said, Supreme Court assassination challenge.
Good one.
Nice.
Oh.
Oh.
Who wants to run this man?
Ventina, you're the close.
No, I'm just kidding.
Yeah, go ahead.
Read the baby.
She's not reading the teaching.
She can get away with it.
Oh, my gosh.
AJ says, doesn't this N-word realize his rights are next?
Dun dun dun.
Oh, wow.
Let's see.
Cameron Kasky, Kaski.
I don't know.
How many people do you think have Googled Clarence Thomas' age in the past 24 hours?
He is unfortunately younger than I'd thought.
No specific reason I'm bringing this up.
Can someone else like explain that?
Is he just waiting for him to die?
Waiting for the die.
I'm just hoping he's going to pull a Reesbader.
I guess.
That's like, that was a stretch.
I feel like that was.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Gonna be a lot more kids for their school shootings now.
No, no, Devin saw why I had such a crush on him.
That's like, you can't be super upset about gun control and super upset about school shootings and then also make tweets like this.
Like, you don't get to play both sides.
Yeah.
That sucks.
It's a tricky time.
The timing was really, really too close with all the gun violence recently and this happening, but it's not the same.
And then what's the argument?
Like, okay, then they should just not exist.
Like, you should kill them before.
School shootings are a late-term abortion.
Like, that doesn't, you would never see that tweet.
That would be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't even want to try saying this guy's name.
Walla Williams.
Luigi.
Luigi, Jay Ray.
Every church must burn.
Everyone.
Carlos Mazza says, fascists literally do not care how hard you vote.
They are not trying to win elections.
Violence is the only language they understand, and it's time we start speaking it.
I think that, no, I don't think we do understand.
It's mostly peaceful.
Violence is mostly peaceful these days.
Let's see.
Ethan Klein.
This is an H3, H3 guy trying to be relevant.
I'm just going to read it and then you can bleep it.
This crazy I lied to Congress about her intentions to overturn Roe v. Wade.
She's a Christian fascist who hates her own gender.
I'm sure if she was raped by a family member, she'd be the first in line for an abortion, though.
I don't understand this argument.
Like, you're not for women.
Like, oh, I stand with women.
It's like, this is.
Well, who should be raped by?
A man?
You know, like, just murder those people.
And then you'd like, I'm all for it.
Like, when people are like, oh, the consequence of having an abortion in those states that are illegal now is worse than like rapists.
It's like, I'm all for like killing off these rapists.
Like, what argument is that?
Like, you know, I don't think that's good enough.
I think I'm very like pro death penalty.
Anyway.
Carlos Mazza says, the suffragettes planted bombs.
Queer people threw bricks.
Violence has always been necessary and important part of social justice.
Am I allowed to say queer people?
I guess people are like, they do identify as queer.
You know, you couldn't say that anymore.
And now you can say it.
Cool.
Queer people threw bricks.
Conveniently, the pile of bricks was just right there on the corner of the street, just ready to build back better.
The whole point of democratic governance is to create an alternative to violence.
When the government is no longer democratic, you're supposed to go back to plan A. There's a joke in there about plan B.
Yeah.
There's something there.
Oh, gosh.
Wahahat.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, AOC retweeted this one.
Wajahat, Ali.
I'm sorry if I said that wrong.
Folks, your friendly neighborhood Muslim here.
Please don't use Islamic terms to describe the fascist movement in America.
It isn't Sharia, which allows abortion or Islamic law or the Taliban.
It's white Christian nationalism.
Name it.
The radical movement is homegrown.
Oh, man.
If only we were, if only it wasn't officially a Christian nation, we would have none of these problems right now.
Yeah.
I like how he quotes like Sharia law.
Like, oh, Sharia law would be so much better, guys.
Then you don't even need five men to back up your testimony if you've been a beaten woman or raped woman.
And like, there's so many other things wrong in Sharia law for you to be like, this isn't Sharia law.
That's so much better.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's cherry-picking Sharia law.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
David Leviat?
Sure.
Sure.
Enough is enough.
Make vaccines mandatory.
Hashtag Thursday Thoughts.
And then the only person who should have control over your personal medical decisions is you, not politicians.
You, hashtag bans off our bodies.
Hashtag Roe v. Wade.
Hashtag Thursday Thoughts.
Hashtag Crush Mystery.
And then that's an age very well.
That was like, that was a year apart.
I find it really funny that we're all like afraid to mispronounce.
Like, is this right?
Oh, no.
Did we say it wrong?
Like, that's never a thing in the men's podcast.
Like, who cares?
Whatever.
I hate their opinion.
Let's mispronounce their names.
On purpose.
Okay.
Got him.
Arnie Dukan.
When 33% of current male Supreme Court justices have a history of sexual assault, don't ever be surprised by how they think or what they want.
Wasn't there a whole trial that concluded that one of those was not that one of those didn't happen?
You guys remember that?
That was crazy.
Yeah, the whole like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know.
And then stupid tweet.
Dumb tweet, Arnie.
The woman on the Supreme Court.
What's her name?
What's a Amy Coney Barrett?
Yeah.
No, the other one.
The new one.
Is she on now?
Oh, Katanji Jackson.
Katanji Brown Jackson was added to the Supreme Court, and she's known to be soft on sexual assault offenses.
It's like, pick your argument better.
Yeah, Arnie.
Dune Khan.
What adult pronounce your name right, but we don't like your tweet.
Yeah.
Gina Darling says, if men were able to get pregnant, this never would have been up for discussion.
LOL, fudge this backward donkey poop.
Good word.
Oh, she continues.
She continues.
Oh, wait.
Pardon my wording.
You're excused.
Not sure what the proper wording is for this, but I guess people born with male productive organs.
If that's not correct, please educate me.
Sorry if that came off as transphobic.
Okay.
This woman needs to be.
Let's educate her.
Yeah.
Men.
Yeah.
Men is fine.
Gosh.
It's always the women.
It's like, why are you doing this?
Stand up for women, real women.
Real women.
Yes.
Bonus.
You're not assigned.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
Bonus.
Our producer, Dan, got ratioed by 340,000 people who think cancer cells are the same as human life in the womb.
His tweet said, science says, one, it's alive.
Two, it's human.
Three, it's distinct from cells of the mother having its own DNA.
In other words, a distinct human life.
And some crazy wench, Dr. Tara Nitika, says, no what else meets these criteria?
Cancer cells.
And 341,000 people liked it.
And that's really, really sad.
And dumb.
But that's just telling of how the average person, my dad always told me.
I think it was a George Carlin code, actually.
The average person is really dumb and half of them are even dumber than that.
So that's Twitter for you guys.
All right.
We're done with the blue check tweets.
Now we're going to hear from Kristen Hawkins of Students for Life to talk about Roe v. Wade and what happens next.
And now for another interview on the Fee Weekly.
Hey, Kristen, thanks for joining us.
We appreciate it.
And, you know, you're driving around the country doing the Students for Life thing.
You're having a pretty good week.
Roe v. Wade has been overturned.
So you want to give us a little rundown on Dobbs, what exactly it was and what happened?
Sure.
Yeah.
I was out there in front of the court Friday morning.
I had the extreme honor of reading the decision that had just come down.
This was a Mississippi case that bans abortions at 15 weeks when children can feel pain.
When the state of Mississippi, though, got to the Supreme Court to defend their law, because of course, anytime you pass any law trying to save babies, the pro-aborts, Planned Parenthood, immediately would sue.
But at the Supreme Court this December, Mississippi actually went further.
And they said, not only should the court uphold our law, because it makes sense to protect these pre-born children, but they just need to get rid of Roe completely.
Roe and Casey, these decisions that said that seven men on the Supreme Court got to dictate abortion laws for everybody else, that needs to go.
I mean, those were decisions that weren't even based on actual science.
And that's what happened.
The Supreme Court said, you know, you're right.
This decision is best determined at the states.
And now we are in phase two of the pro-life movement, which is now going to be going state by state to make abortion unavailable, unthinkable, ensuring no woman stands alone, ensuring that women in our communities are connected to the more than 3,000 pregnancy resource centers and maternity homes that far outnumber Planned Parenthoods.
And yeah, just saving lives and creating now a true culture of life.
That sounds cool.
It's flowerbed.
Sorry, Kirsten.
What?
Yeah, you've had like one response.
You've already cussed.
What are our chances of getting abortion banned here in California?
You guys will be the last state.
And I mean, I'm here in Idaho and I'm surrounded by Californians and escaping your state.
So the good news is the people who are coming to Idaho don't seem to be corrupting the state.
The bad news is you're being left with the most fringe people, the fringe.
I think when it comes to states like New York and specifically California, maybe Illinois, throw it in there.
You are not going to see abortion abolished until we get a constitutional amendment.
That's really the third phase of the pro-life movement to get the 37 state legislatures and to see the Congress pass an amendment and 37 state legislators legislatures ratify that amendment.
In the meantime, though, the culture work continues in California, really showing America.
I mean, one of the things I, you know, some Debbie Downers were like, well, what's this really going to do?
Women can still get chemical abortions shipped to them.
You know, what are the lives that are going to be saved?
I think we're looking right now at least 400 children are being saved every day.
But I think in the broader scheme of things, when you think about it, you now have a nation like my children, my grandchildren will not grow up in a nation where it's automatically assumed a woman can kill, pay someone to kill her child because that child is inconvenient to her.
That is a culture-changing thing that will happen.
Now, do you have a strategy for when you're driving around the country?
Do you have a message when you go to the states that still have that are looking to legalize abortion in their own states right now?
Sure.
Yeah.
I mean, we were engaged all spring legislative season in state houses passing pro-life laws, holding pro-life Republicans who said they were pro-life and then were too lazy to do something accountable in their primaries.
There's a couple of states I think I've been banned from.
And then you can get banned from states.
I'm certainly not welcome, let's put it that way.
Will they chase you out of town with pitchforks and stuff?
There are some cities that I know it would be bad.
You know, in states like California, New York, New Mexico, Illinois, we were trying to stop some of the most crazy legislation from being handed down passed, like the infanticide bill, AB 2223, I believe, in Sacramento, which I think the victory of that was getting them to define that only abortionists can kill babies after they've been born and nobody else.
Woo, victory.
It's a big, big win.
Yeah, a big win.
Yeah, there was a lot of conflict, but you know, it was not considered a victory, but there was a concession made after a lot of heat was put on them for that.
So, yeah, I mean, California, you know, your state legislature, particularly, I've testified there in Sacramento.
It is not an easy place to be.
It's going to be difficult in your state in New York.
But I do think as more and more states move to protect children and women from these predatory abortion facilities, I mean, we think as many as 26 states in the next few months could completely ban or heavily restrict abortion in their states.
It's going to change America.
I mean, like, thinking about Texas, when we were there in Texas during the whole heartbeat legislation was introduced, one of our alumni wrote the bill.
So we were there lobbying, and our students were out in Austin countering all of their demonstrations.
And, you know, there was all this fear-mongering that went on that, you know, women were going to die, and bodies stacked up in back alleys.
Women were going to lose all their rights.
The law went into effect September 1st.
65% of children were being saved in that state.
And you know what?
Life went on.
Our family was there for six weeks this spring.
I was in a lot of back alleys trying to figure out where the heck to park our huge diesel truck.
I never saw one dead body in Dallas or Houston.
Women are still graduating at far larger numbers than men from college in the state of Texas.
Women are still being promoted in their corporate CEO positions.
Life went on.
And I think that was significant.
You know, you have to fight back against the fear-mongering that the left will continue to propagate on CNN and MSNBC.
I guess we have to continue to show people that we actually believe in science, that when life begins at conception, when you need cold being, it's been conceived, and it always blows their minds.
But we, so we have a lot of work to do, but life will go on in our country.
And I think more and more people are going to get used to that idea that, wait a minute, especially women, I don't need this quote-unquote right to abort my child in order to succeed.
Because, in fact, what they were arguing, what the protest signs at the court this week I saw were very regressive signs.
I mean, this is 2022.
We are the ones saying women shouldn't have to choose.
That, yes, it'll be always as difficult to be a mom who's working, especially a single mom.
No one is saying that's easy, but it's not one or the other.
And that you can choose yourself and you can choose your child.
And, but that's literally like they literally argue that women aren't strong enough to do both.
It's the most anti-feminist argument.
It's misogyny, like right on full display.
And then is phase four of the pro-life movement where you force everyone to wear handmade tails costumes?
Because that's what the left keeps telling me your ultimate plan is.
Yeah, no, that's definitely not.
I've never even watched that show.
So, no, that's definitely not.
I am not a costume person.
My daughter, who you just saw in the background, she's always wanted to dress up in dresses in our house.
But no, we don't really care about the hands-made tail costumes.
Although I have some really pretty judges, we made some judge costumes when during the confirmation of Amy Cohen Barrett, and I had white wigs and pearls.
And our students went out and countered the handmaids' tail folks.
It was pretty darn funny.
Our students were a little mad at me, but then when they were on the front page of like the Wall Street Journal or something showing how the pro-life generation was going to refuse to let these nut jobs control the narrative, they were pretty excited about that.
I always find those protesters hilarious because they seem to be protesting this idea that the right is going to force them to wear handmaids' tails costumes.
So then they all wear them voluntarily, even though no one's making them do that whatsoever.
It is literally the craziest thing.
I mean, I saw, I actually saw a photo, and you guys probably saw, you guys are on social media more than I do.
I am, but it was like a gay couple and then their surrogate mother was off in the background.
Oh, I did see it.
And she has like a, it's like a handsmade tail dress.
It's like a red dress.
It's like our maternity photos.
And there's like a woman in the background holding the ball.
You can't see her face.
She's just gonna throw it up on the screen here.
Yeah.
She's like the secret woman.
I mean, like, you want to remain silent.
You stay in the back and make our baby.
It was like, hello.
That's like the literal plot of the literally is the plot.
Like it was, I can't believe how time and time again, they just prove themselves to be complete morons on so many things.
I mean, it's, I don't know.
I try, I try really hard when I'm on campuses and, you know, protesters come up and they get to ask all these questions of me.
I really try hard not to show the emotions that I'm feeling on my face.
But apparently I kind of stink at that.
So sorry.
Yes, you do.
But that's great.
In all your travels around the country, have you ever eaten at a Sizzler restaurant?
No, we have not.
No, we have not.
I may live in a trailer, but I have not eaten at a Western Sizzler.
Okay.
Sizzler is a place where choices are a good thing.
Yeah.
Choice is still, women can still choose at Sizzler.
I have eaten at a CC's pizza, and there are lots of choices at the CC's pizza.
Yeah, but not as many as Sizzler.
All right.
Sorry.
Well, where can people check out Students for Life and support what you do?
You can go to studentsforlife.org or studentsforlifeaction.org or check out my podcast at explicitly pro-life, wherever you get your podcasts.
Or they can just look down back alleys around the country and see if you're a diesel truck.
For the big diesel truck, right?
Yeah.
Maybe they'll find you.
Yes.
Yes.
I literally could be coming to a city near you at any moment.
You have no idea where the Hawkins house will be showing up.
Awesome.
We'll keep an eye out for you.
Well, thanks a lot.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for having me.
Oh, what else happened this week?
Ooh, anything else?
Well, I know like a bunch of people were found dead in a trailer.
There was like a trailer where I think they were trying to smuggle in a bunch of illegal aliens.
And then I think something went wrong.
And 50 people end up dying because of like heat stroke.
And they just left them locked into that container, like stuck there.
And it was super hot.
During a smuggle attempt?
I think so.
I don't think the like details are that clear.
And then a bunch of them, like 18 more in the hospital.
Wow.
But that's just crazy.
And no one's talking about it.
Supreme Court strikes down New York's proper cause requirement for concealed carry.
For 100 years, residents in the New York area had to prove that they had proper cause above and beyond a general interest in self-defense to get a permit to carry a gun.
And New York's law effectively made concealed carry impossible outside of the home.
That's what we currently have in California.
You have to prove that you beyond just regular self-defense, you have to prove that your life is in danger to justify a concealed carry permit.
And then it expires after two years.
You know, like you have to prove that if your life is in danger, by the time you get the permit, you're probably going to be dead.
Like, I don't understand the justification for this law.
So I wish, I hope that we strike it down over here.
But you would think that, you know, getting, getting like concealed carry and making it easier to prove self-defense would stop all those rapes from happening.
Right.
Gun rights are women's rights.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I agree with that.
I definitely agree with that.
Women need to defend themselves.
Yes, with guns.
With guns.
I agreed.
And don't you want us to carry it legally versus like allegedly always having it on you all the time?
Illegally?
That's allegedly.
Never do that.
So our favorite convicted sex trafficker, Ghelaine Maxwell, sentenced to 20 years in prison for grooming teenage girls to be sexually abused by Jeffrey Epstein.
Do we think 20 years is enough?
No.
Not if she's going to be killed.
She's going to be alive.
Well, she's going to get disappeared, though.
Yeah, she's going to get suicide on that.
She's going to get suicidal.
I mean, we should do a pool and like see like one week, two weeks, or like a couple of months.
Like, what do we think?
Like, you guess when someone's like babies due, like, we'll guess like when her suicide's happening.
I think I need to go to confession if I put up money for that.
Yeah.
It's definitely dark.
I don't know if, well, some people believe that Jeffrey Epstein is still alive, like his ranch or whatever in, I think it's New Mexico, Arizona.
It's like still has a lot of traffic coming in and out.
So maybe he didn't really die and maybe she won't really die.
But they're going to make sure she doesn't come out with those names, but I don't think she's going to.
I don't get, yeah.
We're like, what about all the people that she trafficked to?
Like, it can't just be to Jeffrey Epstein.
That's crazy.
Like, we all watched the documentary, which is 100% true.
All those people should be tried.
The Netflix documentary?
I think it was pretty light.
I think they left out a lot of details.
I mean, it was bad enough, like Bill Clinton and Andrew Prince, Prince Andrew.
Yeah.
So we'll see what happens there.
More than 1 million voters across 43 states switched to Republican.
Hey.
Oh, not all switched from Democrats.
Some of them switched from Independent, I guess, so they can vote in the primaries.
I think Adam said, what was it?
Like 400,000 roughly were from Democrat.
Yeah.
Or at least like 4,000?
400,000.
You had Republicans also switched to Democrats, but the amount of Democrats that switched to Republican is like, I think a net of 400,000.
Out of that million, like, I don't know.
It was all like different.
You couldn't really find an article that had like the real information, but a lot of people switched there to Republican, basically, is all you need to know.
This one's really funny.
I was actually having a DM chat with somebody who used to work for Trump and knows this chick, Cassidy Hutchinson.
So Cassidy Hutchinson says Trump reached to grab the wheel, the steering wheel, when a security detail refused to take him to the Capitol and lunged at his clavicle.
And he said, I am the effing president.
Take me up to the Capitol now.
He tried to hijack his own car.
I just.
But he didn't curse.
So we can appreciate that.
Yeah.
We love a classy president.
I was chatting with someone who used to work for Trump and she said that she knew this chick, Cassidy Hutchinson, and loved working for him, worked for him for so many years and tried to work with him in West Palm Beach and like got turned down by Trump and now she's doing this.
So I think that's kind of funny that it's like probably personal.
And that's why they're running it.
You know, the January 6th saga will never end.
Yeah.
Well, at least lead Secret Service agent says Trump did not do that.
And he will testify.
Yeah.
He did not try to commandeer the car.
Oh, that's funny.
Bettina, do you want to read the banger of the week?
All right, going to the banger of the week.
Banger of the week.
Dems paused January 6th hearings to call for insurrection.
What a banger.
Wow.
And Kyle wrote it.
Wow.
Let's redo it so we can laugh now.
Insurrection.
The Bomb of the Week was...
Bomb of the Week.
Tragic.
True crime podcast forced to cancel this week's episode as no horribly brutal murders happened.
Baltimore still exists.
I refuse to believe that would ever happen.
Kyle also wrote this once.
Oh, better, Kyle.
All right, so we're going to do our Sizzler Facts.
12 weeks ago, we debuted a breakthrough new podcast segment called Sizzler Facts.
Here is this week's Sizzler Fact.
The first Japanese Sizzler steakhouse was opened in 1991 by Royal Holdings Company Limited, a Fukuoka-based food service company.
As of August 2021, there are 10 Sizzler restaurants in Japan, one of which is located in the island of Okinawa.
In fact, there's an assortment of original wardrobe previously worn by late actor Pat Merida, who starred in four karate kid films.
A lot of podcasts just cover one geographic area, like True Crime Podcast.
So they go like, you know, we cover murders in a specific city.
So if you read the copy, the joke is that for that area.
Explaining jokes always makes them funnier.
Thank you.
Are you going to charge us for this?
We see an ammonia.
We did laugh at it.
So thank you, Noah.
This has been Sizzler Facts.
Woo!
All right, now we're going to hear from Adam Jenser for the weekly news.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
This week at the January 6th hearings, Cassidy Hutchinson, a former aide to Mark Meadows, testified that she once heard Deputy Chief of Staff Tony Ornado say that Secret Service agent Bobby Engel once said that Donald Trump tried to grab the steering wheel of his limo and drive to the Capitol.
And get this, you guys?
The January 6th committee also says Cassidy told them that she heard Mark Meadows say that an FBI agent's friend's cousin's wife once told him that her neighbor heard that Trump said he wants to do an insurrection.
In a public service announcement released by Sesame Street this week, Elmo got the COVID vaccine and Burt and Ernie got their monkeypox vaccine.
In the wake of the Supreme Court ruling overturning Roe v. Wade, states are now implementing their own varying laws on abortion.
For instance, South Dakota now bans abortion completely.
In Texas, abortions are legal up to six weeks.
And in Utah, you mix up the wives like a shell game and get one guest to find the fetus.
Also in Alabama, abortion will only be legal in the case of incest, which is all cases.
California Governor Gavin Newsome is promoting his state as an abortion sanctuary where even minors can go to get abortion pills without parental consent.
He's even introducing a new product targeted at minors, new Flintstones abortion pills.
When you want pebbles and bambam to go the way of the dinosaur, try Flintstones abortion pills.
CVS and Walmart have imposed purchase limits on the Plan B pill due to a surge in demand as women stockpile the product.
For instance, this woman whose CVS receipt shows she bought one Plan B pill.
The Supreme Court also ruled this week that a Washington state school should not have fired their football coach for praying on the field.
And no one is happier than the Indiana Hoosiers whose only chance at winning is prayer.
Disney's light year flopped at the box office, earning less than both Top Gun and Jurassic World.
In other words, it was a light year for Disney at the box office.
Emma wrote that one.
Buzz's new catchphrase is to 89.3 million and that's it.
A stranger at a grocery store in New York slapped Rudy Giuliani on the back and yelled, what's up, scumbag?
Giuliani replied angrily saying, hey, only my closest friends call me scumbag.
A 101-year-old concentration camp guard was sentenced to five years in prison for abetting the murder of 3,538 people.
So let this be a lesson to other evil people out there.
If you do the Holocaust, you could get five years in prison.
Singer Pink said that anyone who supports the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade should never effing listen to my music again.
Now, here's my question: Why would a transgender woman like Pink, who was born male, even have an opinion?
What?
No.
She is?
Never mind.
JetBlue is being sued for faking kosher products by falsely marking its food with a K. One passenger became suspicious when he was served a kosher bacon-wrapped shrimp.
In other airline news, a man on a Southwest flight was arrested for airdropping a picture of his penis to every other passenger on the flight.
And judging by the picture, he wasn't Jewish either.
That's it for weekly news.
Check out more on my YouTube channel and come see me live at Laugh Boston, July 15th and 16th.
Hey, Babylon B listeners, Kyle here.
Do you want to be a flag bearer for freedom?
Because right now, ADF is looking for flag bearers to help lead the fight against the Biden administration's policies in the anti-freedom attacks targeting our kids, churches, schools, women's sports, and First Amendment rights.
Your monthly gift to Alliance Defending Freedom will help protect parents and children, female athletes, churches, and everyday Americans trying to live out their faith as granted by the U.S. Constitution.
You can support ADF today by going to adflegal.org/slash BEE.
That's adflegal.org/slash BEE.
And as a thank you for your continued support to help ADF defend life, liberty, and our God-given rights, you will receive a three-by-five-foot American flag.
With this flag, show your support for the greatest country of all time, of all time, and your willingness to step up when our freedoms are under attack with the special gift for those who support ADF today.
Claim your gift and help defend religious liberty and free speech today by going to adflegal.org/slash be.
That's adflegal.org/slash be.
Thanks, Adam.
This week, we also talked to Pete Hegseth and David Goodwin, who wrote a new book together about how schools are being taken over by progressive commies, you know, for the last hundred years.
So, this has been a long game.
And the book is called Battle for the American Mind.
Let's take it away.
And now, for another interview on the Fee Weekly.
All right, well, Pete and David, thank you guys for coming on the Babylon Bee podcast.
You guys are education experts.
So you have 30 seconds to tell me why I shouldn't put my kids in public schools.
Read the Babylon Bee or not the B.
Yeah.
That's about right.
Satire has become real life.
We are characters of ourselves, and it is our youngest kids that will soon be, your kids may soon be featured in the Babylon B because they're spewing what they were taught to learn in a fifth grade classroom, and it was only reinforced after that.
It's as bad as you can imagine and worse inside.
They're not even public schools, they're government schools, and they're totally controlled by the pipeline of every institution on the outside.
So, how bad is it?
I mean, do you think people, most people have really a concept of how bad it's gotten, or would you say it's worse than most people imagine?
Worse.
It is the reason we wrote the book is the first step to recovery in any process is understanding the depth of your problem.
And I think a lot of us, David talks about it often.
It's the same thing with Congress.
Oh, Congress is garbage, but I like my congressman.
A lot of people say, well, public education is bad, but my school's okay.
And I think a lot of parents and community members are lying to themselves because they don't want to fully dig into what their kids are learning.
And it's not just public schools, it's private schools.
Some of them are the most woke, even Christian schools oftentimes.
Take a look under the hood and you're going to be scared by what you see.
And we hope to provide an alternative.
Can you take us into the progression of how we got to this point?
I mean, you know, you see the boomer memes or the bumper stickers like, you know, God, help us in schools.
Well, I can't come into schools because you kicked me out.
And I mean, is that accurate?
Because now I'm starting to feel like maybe that's more accurate than I used to give it credit for.
It's accurate.
It just happened a lot longer ago than most of us realize.
I think where Pete and I kind of had fun with this project was that when we started to talk, you know, the 1960s get credit for a lot of the evils in this country, and some of it was then.
But my thesis worked its way all the way back to 1915, dating to when the progressives formally started to target education as a place for secular humanism to rise.
And they knew that the first ingredient they had to take out was something that Pete and I call in the book the Western Christian Paideia.
It's really just the sort of the affections of the soul that are kind of cultivated in children when they're young and even all the way up through high school and college.
And that used to be a Christian paideia and it has been reappropriated then into an American paideia.
And then as we pass the torch on through the 1960s, Pete picks up in the book.
And Pete, I'll let you talk about it.
We're in the culturally Marxist Paideia now.
They've consolidated control of the commanding heights.
They don't have to hide it anymore.
God's long since gone, not even just gone, but rejected and scowled at.
And there are alternate religions at the forefront, whether it's climate change, whether it's genderism, whether it's any form of social justice.
You know, we're training raised fist activists who believe the world might end in 10 years and America is an inherently racist place.
That didn't come by accident.
It's not like a couple of teachers got together and said, let's do the CRT thing.
It was, Hemingway once said it happened gradually until it happened quickly.
And COVID-19 brought parents into the classroom through their computer screens and they were finally seeing what their kids had been quietly learning and they saw it out loud.
And I think it's created a backlash and we're helping trying to explain that reality that parents have been confronted with.
So one thing I've always wondered is, because this has been a long process, I mean, like a hundred-year process, that's kind of mind-boggling.
Was this a handful of people?
I mean, were there actual people who got together and said, this is our 100-year plan to take over American education?
Was it a conspiracy in that sense?
Or was it more like something that kind of happened naturally, like just the entropy of the human condition where just things kind of disintegrate and fall away?
A bunch of people getting together in a smoke-filled room.
Yeah, we're like a hooded people, like in a dark room, like sacrifices to Satan.
That's what my money's on.
You know, I think that was what surprised me.
The story that I tell early in the book is that I heard a quote from an early progressive who wrote in about 1915 where he said that the progressives' goal was to gain control of the plasticity of the child.
And that seemed a little scary to me.
So I went to find the book or the magazine, The New Republic, in the library.
And they brought out all the new republics.
I figured it was going to be a quick trip because, you know, how many times do political activists talk about education?
You would think not very much.
But this particular magazine, which is still printed, I think most people know of the New Republic.
It was the voice of the progressives.
And they had a strategy all laid out.
They had model schools built around the country.
One of them was in Gary, Indiana, but there were many others.
And these model schools were trying to experiment with how you change American education at its very foundational roots.
So, we're not even talking here.
One of the mistakes I think we make is believing that teaching Christianity in schools means having prayer in a Bible class.
What they were doing is realizing that the entire basis for Western civilization was holding back the progressive vision for the future.
Now, I don't know if they knew it was going to take 100 years, but they knew they had to control the vision of a good life, and they knew they had to bring it under the domain of the progressive humanist idea and not the Christian idea.
And that's very clear.
We have a lot of quotes in the book on that.
They didn't know where it was going to lead.
They knew where it wasn't going to lead, and it wasn't going to lead toward our founding principles or toward capitalism or toward biblical wisdom.
It was all away from that.
We dealt with that word conspiracy because it wasn't a bunch of guys in a smoke-filled room saying, Here's our plot for what the world's going to look like in 2022.
It was actually a bunch of atheist, unhappy European nerds for the most part that came over and imposed all these really sick, bad Marxist ideas that never worked anywhere else.
But they thought the fertile ground of tolerance inside America would allow them to promulgate these ideas.
Some of them looked less radical than the communists and the anarchists that ruled in the early part of the 20th century through political assassination.
So it's that they chipped away and then took control of the institutions, always handing the ball to the next person who was going to further move progress forward.
And you hinted at it in your question.
It was always an undermining of the understanding of original sin of human nature that we are fallen and not perfectible.
They believed through enough education and cultivation, they could perfect the human mind and bring across equity.
And it's the same ideas you hear today of utopian equity and humanism wrapped up in a little bit of a different form 100 years ago.
I think of people like C.S. Lewis during that time, they kind of warned about this.
You know, in the abolition of man, you know, he warned about what was happening in academia.
Were there other voices that were kind of warning us about this?
Why did it take 100 years for people to kind of get wise to this?
C.S. Lewis was a Christian author, if you guys haven't heard of him.
That quote from the Abolition of Man's in the book.
All right, so you have to.
I mean, David, you can lay it out.
We lay out a full page, two one or two pages in multiple sections where we said we were warned.
And David, you could probably rattle them off better than I can, but from abolition of man to ideas have consequences to Johnny Can't Read to Closing of the American Mind.
But a lot of those were at the higher level of academia, Ivory Towers, higher education, a recognition of the takeover there.
And we had tip to those folks, like, you're on it.
You were right over.
But what I think they missed was how intentional progressives initially targeted our youngest kids, knowing that, and this is a foreign word, Paideia, there's no translation in English.
It's a Greek word that's long since been forgotten because we don't study Greek or Latin and it doesn't have a direct translation.
But it really means the enculturation, education of our youngest kids and what we teach them to value, what a good life looks like.
And they knew if you change that imprint, you have a better chance of changing what type of person you have when they're an adult, as opposed to trying to convert them when they're in college or in higher education where you have a lower success rate.
And that's why this moment is more dangerous than any other moment because they've consolidated what we call the commanding heights.
They control every part of the educational pipeline.
And as a result, now they're just open about it.
They're like, you know, drag queen story hour.
You know, pick your pronouns.
Don't tell the parents and every white kid over here and every black kid over here, and you're all oppressors and you're all oppressed.
Now let's all talk about equity.
I mean, they're just that's the manifestation of that worldview.
How many go ahead?
Oh, I was just going to say, you asked a question a minute ago about the smoke-filled room.
And I think this is a good warning for the Babylon B.
So I'll throw it up there a little bit.
One of the funny things is when we started this research from 1915 to 1920, think about this.
The progressives were just getting started.
They didn't know anyone would dig up to their magazines and look back and see what they were talking about.
It wasn't done in a closed conspiracy.
It was done out in the open in this publication that was going out every two weeks between the editorial board and a bunch of progressives.
So it's all very laid bare.
It's kind of like the Babylon Bee may someday be seen as the beginning of the Christian transformation.
All right.
And people will be criticizing you guys.
That's our new little corner of the world.
That's the plan.
Starting the theocracy right here.
The Babylon Bee podcast.
Pete, how many tattoos do you have?
And do you have a favorite?
I have about 15.
Do I have a favorite?
Probably the first one I got.
It's the cross on my forearm.
You must be a military guy, aren't you?
We, the people.
Yeah, I'm a military guy, but I got them all after I got out of the military because I really wanted when I was in the military, but I didn't for a number of reasons.
So over the last three, four years, I've gotten basically all of them, and now I'm addicted.
We'll see.
Next time, I might have a throat tattoo.
David, do you have any tattoos?
I'm an old school guy.
I'm afraid Pete and I get along real well.
I didn't want to stereotype you, but I didn't handle the tattoos.
I am curious about you two, just in terms of writing a book together.
That's not something you see oftentimes.
How was that process?
I guess whose idea was it?
Like, who approached who?
How did you guys work together?
Just, I guess I'm curious about that.
Who wrote all the good parts?
Yeah, yeah.
Good question.
Complete partnership from A to Z. Accidentally, I did a Fox and Friends diner in North Carolina and met a family that said, you got to meet David Goodwin because they went to one of his classical Christian schools in his association.
I called up David.
I'm a parent who's always been passionate about education.
I knew something was wrong.
Every time I asked a question, David had an answer.
Turns out David had a manuscript that he had been working on for quite some time about the new republics and the premise and the Western Christian Paideia.
And really what ended up happening, and I had been itching to write a book on a similar topic.
And we basically said, David, you start with the progressives in the early part, and I'll start today.
And we did our research and kind of met in the middle in the 60s.
And then through that, we're able to build out the phasing of what the progressives did.
It's one of those partnerships you couldn't have, I mean, it feels providential, honestly, that there was no reason we should have found each other at this time to write this book.
And it's been a blessing.
So, I mean, the guy's got a brain the size of Kansas, and I just talk on TV.
So it works.
You give me way too much credit.
I will say that providentially, when we started talking, it was March of 2020.
And so you do the math.
None of the BLM stuff had really risen to the fore, nor had a lot of the craziness of the sexual revolution that's going on.
Some of it had, but not much.
So Pete and I's early conversations were just, let's just do a documentary and Pete spearheaded that.
And then once things started hitting the fan, so to speak, it's like that's when Pete and I thought, you know, Pete can start with all these problems we're seeing today.
And he followed the Frankfurt School back into Nazi Germany and up into the Columbia Teachers College.
So that part is all his work in that timeframe.
Well, I mean, the book is incredibly timely and incredibly needed.
I think the question that's on everyone's mind right now is what's our way out of this?
You know, it took us 100 years to get here.
Do you have anything in your book kind of that's prescriptive for, you know, how can we turn this around?
Do you think it's, do we reform the existing system?
Do we blow it up and start our own?
What are your thoughts there?
Well, we call for an educational insurgency.
And as a military guy, I think when you see in it, you're so surrounded, you have to make a decision.
And at this moment, I would yell retreat, a tactical retreat and a reconsolidation and form an educational insurgency, which is the preferred form of warfare of the weak against the strong, the small against the big, because the public education system is effectively gone.
And my advice to parents is get out, get out now.
Protesting at school boards, it's great.
It's cathartic.
It makes for good TV on Fox.
And I salute you because it's good to do.
But I liken it to charging a fortified machine gun nest with Nerf guns.
Like we're going to salute.
We salute you and we appreciate your efforts, but we're going to bury you all because the weight and the power of the system just brushes you aside and moves on.
So what I love about the book the most is that the largest section, section three, is five chapters that are prescriptive, that are about the solution.
And the reason partnering with David is so significant is he's the president of the Association of Classical Christian Schools, the largest accrediting association for a network of what is now almost 500 brick and mortar classical Christian schools across America in 46 of 50 states that has been advancing this solution since basically the 1980s and is growing exponentially now and is a complete rejection.
I mean, David uses the analogy of a capsized ship.
So if you've been in the capsized ship for 100 years, you think the walls are the floor.
But if you correct that up capsized ship, you suddenly realize what education was supposed to look like.
That's what classical Christian education is.
It's the education our founding generation received.
They didn't stumble into the brilliance of 1776.
They had 2,000 years of Western Christian biblical and theological and historical understanding that brought them to their understanding of human nature and constraining government and where rights are endowed by a creator.
This is the type of education David's schools provide.
And there are online options, homeschool options, hybrid options, co-op options, all very affordable.
So our argument is not, hey, protest, run for the school board.
You need to find a little bit of a better school.
And we do like school choice.
That's part of it eventually.
But it is an alternate ecosystem of schools that will create free thinking citizens for the future because we can't pump survivors out of school.
We have to pump out fighters.
Yeah, so what does classical Christian education refer to?
You guys do Christian education teach people the earth is 6,000 years old while you listen to Beethoven?
I'm down with that.
I'm just wondering.
Yeah, we get a lot of that.
Some people try and create a distinction between the classical part and the Christian part.
They're really not distinct.
It's a uniform form of education that existed for 2,000 years when the early church adapted the Christian or adapted the Greek educational model into the Christian world.
And it had been practiced almost continuously since the first century.
What it does is it uses the seven liberal arts.
So, I mean, if you ask me this question, you're going to get a long answer.
I'm going to try and make it short, but it uses the seven liberal students.
Trains students how to think well, teaches them some original languages like Latin and Greek, so they can read the original works.
It's great books-oriented, so it seeks the wisdom of the great conversation of the past.
It does a lot of Socratic teaching in the classroom where students are engaging in the thought process, they're not just being told what to think.
And it integrates the Bible throughout the entire thing.
So it's not like we have Bible classes appended into our curriculum.
It's throughout the curriculum because it's the central part of what we do.
The first thing you're going to think when you walk into a classical Christian school is, why can't I go back to school?
And I don't say that lightly.
I say that when I walk into my kids' school, I went to public school in the 90s.
I didn't know I got a progressive education.
And I didn't realize until this project how unprepared I was based on the education I received.
So instead of a math problem that's like there's six genders in the classroom and then 12 more genders get added, it's more like Jesus has six disciples and then he gets three more.
So that's the classical Christian part, I guess.
There is a little bit more straightforward.
Absolutely.
Yes.
Well, that makes a lot of sense.
Well, everybody, check out the book.
It's A Battle for the American Mind, Uprooting a Century of Miseducation.
Now, if you guys are willing, at the end of every interview, we do rapid-fire 10 questions.
The 10 questions.
Here we go.
And we'll just go back and forth.
So, Pete, have you ever met Christian rapper Carmen?
No, but I listened to his CDs as a kid.
Oh, great.
Oh, yeah.
Awesome.
All right.
One point for Pete.
David, have you ever met Carmen?
No.
All right.
Pete one.
I think I may have heard.
I'm not sure.
All right.
Question two: for Pete, are you a Calvinist or an Arminian?
I would fancy myself more of a Calvinist, although at this point, I don't dig in too far into those distinctions.
Good answer.
All right, David, what about you?
That's a little more over my plate.
I'm a Calvinist.
Great.
All right.
I like these people.
Kyle likes you a lot.
All right.
Pete, you get to add one book to the Bible.
What is it?
Add one book to the Bible?
Yeah.
Not one of the Gnostic gospels, which were rammed down my throat when I took Christianity course at Princeton as a freshman.
I wouldn't add a book to the Bible.
I don't know what, I don't have a good answer to you on that.
Okay.
All right.
Completely unrelated question.
What's your second favorite book besides the Bible?
Smiling Through the Cultural Catastrophe by Jeffrey Hart.
It's about the convergence of Athens and Jerusalem.
It was given to me 15 years ago and introduced me to the whole idea of Western civilization.
Oh, awesome.
David, you can add one book to the Bible.
What is it?
I'd probably put the Maccabean books in there just so that we've got a gap filler between the Old and New Testament.
Great, very nice.
All right.
For Pete, cigars or pipes?
Neither.
Old school cigarettes, but I'd go cigars.
All right.
David, what about you?
You look like a pipe guy to me.
At the same time, I like cigars too.
One in each hand.
I like it.
Pete, you get to hang out with any three people, living or dead.
Who are they?
That would be Jesus.
Oh, sorry, you can't pick Jesus.
You can't pick Jesus?
Okay.
Living or dead.
George Washington, for sure.
Oh, my goodness.
I would pick Baldwin, the king of Jerusalem who led the first crusade in 1099.
Not Alec Baldwin.
We get that answer.
Not Alec Baldwin, King Baldwin of the Crusade.
And then whoever had the best vantage point to the Passion Week of those seven days, I would want to meet them and get a first-hand account.
Oh, awesome.
Great.
David, you get to hang out with any three people living or dead.
Who are they?
I can't pick Jesus.
It's C.S. Lewis off the...
No, you can pick C.S. Lewis.
He's not Jesus.
Okay.
Probably Mortimer Adler, C.S. Lewis, and Dorothy Sayers.
There you go.
Great.
All right.
For Pete, whiskey or beer?
Gin, but if I had to pick two, I'd probably go beer.
All right, David?
Single malt, scotch.
Nice.
Drinking, smoking, Calvinists.
I love these people.
Pete, what would be the first thing you would do as president?
First thing I would do as president.
Wow.
I might, I mean, considering our book topic, I would completely overhaul the education systems, probably abolish teachers' unions and the Department of Education and restore Bible and prayer reading in schools if I had such a constitutional authority, which I probably would not.
I don't know if that's a good answer, sufficient answer or not.
I would probably advocate for Article 5, which would convene a constitutional convention to rein in the size and scope of government according to Article 5 in our Constitution.
Great.
I'd vote for you.
I'd vote for you too.
David, what would be the first thing you would do as president?
I'm just really thankful you're asking Pete these questions first.
It's kind of not fair.
I'll give him the next one.
We have more time to think about it.
I'll give David the next one.
Yeah, and even with the time, I can't do as well.
I would say whatever I did, I'd get kicked out of office for it.
I'm almost certain of that.
All right.
All right.
So, David, I'll ask you this question first here and give Pete some more time.
I had to say it.
Have you ever punched anyone or been punched?
In the fourth grade, playground fight, that's the last time.
Did you get punched or punched?
One went one way, one went the other.
We both thought better of it.
That was it.
Pete, what about you?
Yes, and yes.
In infantry training, that's a part of it through combatives.
So giving punches, taking punches, although never in the heat of actual combat.
And then, of course, I had brothers, two of them.
And when we couldn't resolve things and I was done with the whining, we would shut the door and have it out.
And I'm sure plenty of punches were exchanged.
Great.
Okay.
Question number nine, Pete.
You get to go to one concert, any band in history.
Who do you go see?
Oh, my goodness.
My musical taste is so poor.
You know what?
I would only, and this is very, very recent because my wife and I went to an Airbnb where they had an old record player.
And every night we had a drink, I would throw in a record.
And I absolutely loved the Cretan's Clearwater Revival that I enjoyed it for three nights straight.
I didn't even switch.
So maybe I'd go see them.
Great.
Nice.
David, you get to go to one concert in any band in history.
Who do you go see?
Oh, it's got to be a whole band.
It could be composer, singer, any musical, whatever.
Oh, I didn't think about that.
Too late.
Ronnie Glenn or Eric Clapton.
Great.
Nice.
Stevie Rayvon.
Let's see.
I got to pick one.
You're really.
Yeah, one.
I'll go with Stevie Rayvon.
There you go.
All right.
All right.
And the 10th and final question, and this is the big one.
David, I'll ask you first.
Do you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?
Yes, I do.
We got him.
We got one.
All right, let's see if we can get Pete too.
Yes, I do.
Absolutely.
All right.
All right.
Two new converts, two baby Christians.
And thanks guys for coming on.
That was the altar call.
You know what?
You guys must be Baptists if you finish the service at an altar call.
Every head bowed, every eye closed.
All God's people.
Or non-denominational, but you know, that just means we're Baptists.
Exactly.
Exactly.
All right, everybody, check out the book, Battle for the American Mind.
Thank you guys so much for coming on.
We really appreciate it.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Thank you.
We love the B. All right.
Bye, Pete.
Bye, David.
Thanks, guys.
Thank you.
Love that.
All right, now we're going to move on to hate mail.
Ooh, my favorite part of the show.
I really miss Adam Ford.
In response to our post about more Mormons waiting till later in life, like 22 to get married, someone responded on the Instagram, why are you so rude towards Mormons?
Because it's easy.
Ah, man.
Okay.
Should I filter my response to that?
Or like, I wish I could just respond.
Respond.
If I was going to respond, I'd be like, you know what?
Don't get your white panties and underlying clothing in a bunch.
Emma, whoa.
Spicy.
Wow.
Yeah, don't worry.
Other religions have that.
All right.
So for our subscribers only, we're going to continue with the bonus hate mail.
So if you're not a subscriber, consider subscribing at babylonbee.com/slash plans.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
All right, the bonus hate mail.
Oh, this is my favorite.
This was my personal favorite of the week.
I was exposed to it by Down.
That was very strange.
Yeah.
It was a rap video of demons, but it was Western somehow at the same time.
First thing you would do as president.
Realistically, like number one thing, get a priest to come in and like bless the White House because there are ghosts in there.
And I don't want that.
This has been another edition of the Bee Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee.
Reminding you that someone out there knows something about Carmen.