THE BEE WEEKLY: Headlines With Pie, Culture Gets Kunkled, and Robocop is Real
Kyle, Ethan, and Brett Kunkle from MAVEN guess which headlines are real or fake and have to eat mystery pie if they guess wrong. Brett Kunkle also kunkles some culture and helps us discern what is good or harmful in pop culture today. There's weird news headlines, glorious hate mail, and other shenanigans going on at The Babylon Bee. Be sure to check out MAVEN which exists to help the next generation know truth, pursue goodness, and create beauty, all for the cause of Christ at: http://maventruth.com Don't miss the upcoming Bee interview with Vocab Malone. See Vocab's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/VocabMalone Kyle, Ethan and Brett Kunkle talk about the Maven Parent podcast and how conversations about Animal Crossing in the recent Bee Interview with James Poulos were deemed by Twitter to be intense. They talk about Bee articles that are banging and bombing and then get into this week's weird news. The guys play Headlines With Pie and Kunkle Culture before reading a glorious hate mail about how our website has become literary pornography. In the subscriber lounge, they read top subscriber-submitted headlines, special love mail, bonus hate mail, and finally subject Brett to the Next Ten Questions, giving the Bee the opportunity to show off their new trolly dilemma display featuring Lego replicas of Kyle, Ethan, and The Newsboys.
Drunk couple sneaks onto water slide after hours, crashes into barrier, and shatters their legs.
Well, that night sure went down the tubes.
Singaporean robots now patrolling streets to enforce proper social behavior.
Oh man, I don't even have a roombaug yet.
An elk had a tire around neck for over four years, becoming the mascot, symbolizing the Democrat slogan, tread on me, especially my neck.
And later we're going to eat tiny pies, and we have no idea what's inside them.
And after that, it's Kunkle Culture with Brett Kunkel.
All this and more on the B weekly.
Yo, what up, fam?
Kyle in the house here.
Welcome to Youth Group.
I think we've done a youth group intro before, but I'm Kyle.
This is Ethan, and this is Brett Kunkel.
He's like a youth expert.
I am a youth expert.
And he's such a youth expert that he brought me a beanie so I could relate to the youth.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
I'm a secret to watch this and feel like you're relevant still.
I feel like the goatee is out with the kids.
Is that out for youth passengers?
Because I feel like 20, 25 years ago, the goatee was big with the youth passengers.
Yeah.
I don't see it so much anymore.
No, no, it's the full beard now.
Oh, is the beard?
It's the full beard that's like 22 inches long.
Got it.
That's what's in.
That's in.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I can't grow much more.
I try and it doesn't.
I tried the long beard.
It doesn't like, it just doesn't come in like here.
I don't know.
You know what you could do?
You could just do the mustache.
The mustache is still in.
Is it really?
Yeah.
Just a straight mustache.
In fact, have you ever done a mustache before?
Yeah.
Do we have a picture of you with a mustache?
I do have one.
Oh, because I'd love to see that.
I look like a pedophile.
Kyle's like a naturally occurring neckbeard.
Yeah.
It's just, yeah.
It's resting neckbeard face.
That just happens.
I can't find my mustache picture, but I will find it for you.
I always thought men suffer from resting tuck face.
It's like Tucker Carlson.
Yeah, the baffled look.
Yeah.
Yeah, resting, baffled face.
Yeah.
Well, we got a show for you.
Well, you know, we got weird news like we always got, but later we're going to, we got these pies here.
The little tiny pies made by Bettina, our office manager.
I don't know what we call her.
She does all this stuff.
And we don't know what's inside of them.
So we're going to do guess if that headline is real or not.
And if you lose, you could try to get your point back by eating the pie and guessing what's in it.
And some of them are disgusting, apparently.
Here's me in high school playing Counter-Strike with the pay-do-stash.
Oh, yeah.
Don't do the stash.
Wow.
You look that older in that picture.
I look older than now.
Yeah.
Although, actually, if you just shaved off the goatee and just kept the stash, now it's filled in.
I mean, as you've matured.
It is a thicker stash now.
Yeah.
It's more manly now.
I think you could pull that off.
Yeah, if I could do it real quick.
Ethan's got a nice full.
I think if I could do that, maybe.
Do the walrus.
The walrus look.
Yeah.
The John Bolton.
Sorry, I interrupted you.
You were talking about a podcast that we're recording or something.
Yeah, we're doing this pie thing.
Oh, the pie.
That'll be later.
Okay.
It's a little precursor.
Okay.
But I don't know if you guys remember Brett Kunkel.
I had him on a while ago.
It was right after the, well, it was during the pandemic.
Well, I guess we're still in the pandemic.
You think it's going to end?
Get a load of this rube.
Well, I was thinking 2031, it'd probably end.
But it was one of the first recordings after the lockdown.
Yeah, few guests that was willing to come in person.
Yeah.
Yeah, we kind of just kept going through it.
So we don't remember, but yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I was willing to put my personal health at risk for you guys and also my wife's health because I brought her son.
You brought your son, too.
Yeah, brought all three of them.
Did you guys die?
No, we survived.
And although my wife, I told her she just wasn't up to par for this second round.
And so she didn't make the cut.
So I'd bring her this time.
Let's get the housekeeping items out of the way.
You have a podcast called The Maven Parent.
A Maven Parent Podcast.
And you have 30 seconds to tell us why we should listen to it.
And wait, go.
Most American parents are really wrestling with how to raise kids in this chaotic culture when things are completely upside down, when boys can be girls and girls can be boys.
15 seconds.
And they need help.
They need help thinking through these issues and they need the practical steps that they need to take.
And so we bring those two things together and it'll change your life and your kids' life.
Done.
All right.
All right.
Maven Parent Podcast.
Check it out.
You know what the worst thing in the world is?
It's when you're laughing at something and really enjoying it and you're not paying any money for it.
That sucks.
You feel really guilty.
You're like, man, there's all these people that are like giving their lives to making this stuff.
And, you know, that's their whole job.
And I didn't even give them any money for it.
Now you can give us money.
You can become a Babylon Bee subscriber and ease that guilty conscience.
Go to BabylonB.com slash plans.
And for a limited time, you can insert the promo code podcast.
And you get 10% off.
It's not 7%.
It's not 8%.
It's not 9%.
It's not 11%.
It's not 12%.
It is 10% off your subscription.
So go to BabylonB.com slash plans and subscribe.
That's what enables us to continue making all the amazing content that you enjoy 24-7 right into your brain.
We wanted to point out that we shared our interview with James Polis.
Yeah, and Twitter being, you know, just trying to help everybody out, it puts a warning underneath that episode.
It says, heads up.
Conversations like this can be intense.
Which it was like the most chill podcast ever.
Twitter was a human just walking up to you and you're about to talk to somebody like, heads up.
Conversations like this can be intense.
That's like an advertisement.
Oh, cool.
Okay.
Let's do this.
Now we need to do a video sketch or something with this.
What do you do with that?
I wonder if there's a link there, like how to handle intense conversations with Twitter.
Do they help you?
Is there a guide?
Do they pick a demonic?
Is that what it is?
I have no idea.
It's a name.
It's like, what is it?
Animal Crossing is garbage or something?
The text above says, yeah, Animal Crossing is destroying civilization.
So maybe that's what it is.
A video game discussion or discussions about Animal Crossing are intense.
We got another interview show coming up on Tuesday.
Vocab Malone.
His name is Vocab.
Is that his real name?
We didn't ask him if his parents gave him that name.
I'm going to assume it was a rapper name.
What do they call it?
Staged name.
He's a slam poet.
We did some slam poeting, freestyle.
We certainly did.
And he, what's he do?
He specializes.
He's analyzing to the black Hebrew Israelites.
Yes.
Yeah.
I know Vocab.
Okay.
You know the guy.
You want to pitch Vocab for us?
I was so confused by all of the Jeremiah Smith.
No, I don't know.
Do you really know Vocab?
I do know Vocab.
All right, you have 15 seconds to explain why people.
It's a fantastic interview.
If you're a Babylon B subscriber, you get it a day early on Monday.
Otherwise, you'll get it on Tuesday if you are poor.
So if you don't want to be poor, go to BabylonB.com slash plans and subscribe and you can get the cool interview a day early.
Right.
Or if you just like videos, you can join here on YouTube.
Smash the join button.
You can do some Babylon B articles?
Yeah.
All right, our banger of the week.
Did I interrupt you?
Were you going to say that?
What was the banger of the week?
That's what I was going to ask.
Oh, I'll tell you.
Banger of the week.
White House whistleblower claims strangers drag him from place to place and make him sign papers and read words on monitors, and he hardly gets any ice cream.
Very sad.
You know, reading it doesn't quite have the effect without the picture because we have the Biden looking like he's one of those anomalies.
I do it because if you read it, if they can add that voice cover thing, voice changer.
Listen, folks, here's the deal: it stinks here, Jack.
Strangers drag me from place to place and make me sign papers and read words on monitors, and I do not get any ice cream.
That was way better.
Thanks.
I appreciate that.
Good delivery.
So that one went crazy, and we shared it like on a Saturday evening or something.
Right.
He just threw it out at the last minute and it just went bananas.
So cool.
That's a good one.
And then I noticed people will like crop it and take a screenshot of it and then they'll like respond to our article with that like it's their meme or something.
What?
It's like they'll respond to another post that we do about Biden with that one.
Like, this is funnier.
That's ours.
We also, but not every Babylon B article gets that widely shared.
Here's our bomb of the week.
Bomb of the week.
The bomb.
Not the bomb.
Not the bomb, like I would say as a youth pastor.
But just bomb.
Actually, isn't bomb good now?
If you were a youth pastor, maybe in the early 2000s, you might say bomb.
Okay, the bomb.
The bomb.
But they'll say, like, these tacos are bomb.
Do they still say that?
I feel like that's a thing.
I think that has faded.
I don't think young people.
Did they say bomb.com?
The bomb.
I'm like, it may feel so faded too, actually.
When you're around young people, you should try that.
Say try bomb.com.
Maybe it's bomb.org now because they like non-profit stuff.
Yeah.
They're all about causes now.
So I think bomb.org is bomb.org.
It's the way to go.
They probably like bomb.gov.
If you are a Babylon B listener or follower and you are under the age of 18, send us an email, podcast tobylonb.com and let me know if bomb is a thing still.
I'm curious.
Speaking of bomb, Trump files lawsuit against Facebook after a quiz says he's in house Hufflepuff.
I feel bad for Frank because he gets bomb of the week every week.
He's our best writer.
He's our funniest writer.
Wait, what's the distinction between the banger and the bomb?
Shares.
Number of shares.
Number of shares.
Or views or whatever.
It's common for a funny article to not like a genuinely, it is more the one like that owns Biden so hard.
That's really got it.
Yeah.
And this is like, hey, wait a minute.
Are you making fun of Trump?
Yeah.
I kind of shared that.
Wait a minute.
And it's also, you have to be like a Harry Potter nerd.
You also have to know, yeah, that Hufflepuff is lame.
All right, you want to do some weird news?
Sure.
I always do.
This news is weird.
This high school banned backpacks because of potential gun violence.
And the kids found the most creative and hilarious ways to get around this lame policy.
Did you see this video?
I did.
They're rolling around.
It made me very proud of these kids.
Yeah.
They had like ice chests and like trash cans.
They had like a giant, like an MM display thing.
And they're just finding all these creative ways to just hauling these giant recycling bins down the hallway with their books in them.
It's the creativity, creative powers of this younger generation.
I like the kid who has the MM display.
Yeah.
He's got the red wheels.
He's got the red MM dispenser guy on wheels.
It's like three feet tall, and he's pushing it down the hallway.
Well, that's wonderful.
I guess now they actually got rid of it, or they backed off, and you can now have a transparent backpack.
I don't know where you get a transparent backpack.
I'm sure they saw them now because a lot of schools were doing that with the school shooting things.
They were doing transparent backpacks.
So, you always wonder in a future, like in those future movies, why everybody has these like transparent outfits and stuff, like weird see-through or white, or like now you get it.
It's all that's why.
Yeah, so now everyone's gonna be walking with transparent backpacks.
It's like, oh, yeah, the future is here.
This kid has a sled, a toboggan.
He has a toboggan.
I just wanted to say the word toboggan doesn't get enough love.
Fantastic.
Hey, two drunk people broke into a water park and then rode down one of the slides only to find out there's a barrier at the end of it.
Ouch.
Claire Vickers and her pal Barry Douglas, both very intoxicated, decided one night last month to head over to their local public swimming pool and sneak under the fence to have a little swim.
They made it past the fence, climbed the stairs of the water slide where Miss Vickers poured water from a foot bath.
She had a foot bath.
Oh, maybe the foot bath is part of it.
Down the slide because it was dry.
As she sat down, Mr. Douglas put his legs around her to slide together.
It's going to be fun.
Wasn't until they were rushing down the tube at a high speed that they spotted the barrier at the end of the slide.
They slammed it to it feet first, causing Miss Vickers' shin to snap through her skin.
All the bones in her left foot were broken.
Mr. Douglas broke his left leg and both ankles.
He described the pain as unbearable.
They were trapped in the flume tube, shouting for help for two hours before the police finally arrived.
I feel numb.
I might be.
So is that karma or not?
Or is that too far for karma?
Karma's a little too hard on them.
Karma's alive from Satan.
Kids.
I mean, internet karma.
Would that make it onto an instant karma video?
Karma is straight sending me, yo.
I'm just impressed that they actually poured water onto the well, they probably tried forcing first.
Can't go.
I know this is bad, but I'm cracking up at the picture of them with their legs broken.
There's a picture.
There's a picture of them.
It keeps giving me the ad block thing, but they're sitting there all seriously like they're in some charity commercial.
It could happen to you.
This could happen to you too.
For just a dollar a day, sponsor the people who go down a water street.
They're going to dash into the barrier.
They have that look on their face like they're victims.
Yeah, that's the victim look.
I'm sorry, it's not that fun.
Just didn't think it through.
He's been there.
You just described the pain as unbearable.
Yeah, unbearable.
Well, yeah.
Classic.
All right.
You want to take the next one there, Brett?
North Korea released this video of some of their elite soldiers trying to show the world how tough they are.
And dude, it's hilarious.
That's not the D headline.
They got the word dude in there, which is perfect for a youth pastor guy.
Yeah, so you have to say dude.
Dude, who's seen the video?
Dude, I haven't seen the video.
So it feels like something out of American Ninja.
Not the show.
They have American Ninja Warrior or whatever.
American Ninja, Michael Dudekoff, 80s.
So these guys are like breaking bricks with their faces.
They're like laying down on broken glass.
It's like the power.
What was it called?
The power team.
The power team.
They went to the churches back in the.
They're wearing chains.
And oh, yeah, he's fighting nine guys or whatever, but it's all choreographed.
And you can he keeps cutting Kim Jong and he's just kind of like going, like, oh, dang, the road.
Dang, bro.
He's like looking at him.
They're breaking boards off each other's backs, heads.
What did I say?
Wrapped up in chains and he breaks out of them.
So it feels very much like something that they would cut to.
Here's the bad guys that Van Dam will be facing in this movie.
And here they are, and now he has to fight them all.
But it's weird that, like, I don't know, because don't we have guns now?
Like, does any of that matter in warfare?
That they can, like, break boards off each other's heads?
Guns don't even matter anymore.
Yeah.
Bomb stuff.
But if you had the sound up on that video, there's the exact same sound effect every time they hit each other.
It's like, yeah, it sounds like a street fighter sound.
But then what I also love is like when a guy switches poses, it also makes a sound.
So it's like he breaks it.
And he goes, and he goes like that.
He just like a Power Rangers move.
Like that.
It looks like there might be some CGI.
I don't think they can afford the CGI.
It's probably practical effects.
I'm just watching the guy getting the boards broken over him, thinking like I don't think he gets workers' comp or anything if that doesn't go well.
I don't think so.
It's probably not going to go.
He probably gets executed.
Are you familiar with the power team, Mr. Kunkle?
Yeah, back from like the late 80s where they would rip the phone books for Jesus.
Ripping phone books for Jesus?
Yes.
And tons of people would respond to the gospel.
Ripping phone books.
I don't know how I bring that to the gospel.
What else do they do?
They do something when they bite something, right?
Their mouth.
Like eat a chennis ball or something.
They just do all kinds of weird stuff.
I want to know the guy who's the brainstorming team for the power team.
We got to get them on.
Yeah.
So there's new robots in Singapore that patrol for anti-social behavior.
They're causing unease.
So you got to read this.
There's patrolling robots that blast people that are engaging in undesirable social behavior, adding to an arsenal of surveillance technology in the tightly controlled state, city-state.
So they have an example here.
In one recent patrol, one of the Xavier robots wove its way through a housing estate and stopped in front of a group of elderly residents watching a chess match.
Please keep one meter distance.
Please keep to five persons per group.
A robotic voice blared out as a camera on top of the machine trained its gaze on them.
Turn it.
Like, it's funny because it's also horrifying.
Like, that's that.
That was their good idea.
Like, then, and for social to make, what, to make things better socially, have robots patrolling and analyzing.
Well, who defines the undesirable social behavior?
So, is this a COVID?
Does this mean COVID, like social distancing or what?
It's just analyzing their distance, or is it going like, don't use that language?
That is gendered language.
What is this robot enforcing?
Yeah, because, I mean, that's a pretty broad category, undesirable social behavior.
And they're going to have a laser cannon on their shoulder in no time.
This is like this is a slippery slope if I ever saw one.
Well, it's weird that they say undesirable social behavior.
Like, it's just, it seems to me it's just social behavior that they're after.
Like, anything that's all social behavior, like talking to people.
So, I want to know more details on this.
Sad.
Hey, an elk lived for two years with a tire around its neck.
I thought it was four years.
Oh, four years.
Oh, it's a four and a half year old elk.
Okay, a little bit of a lie in the opening there.
A four and a half year old bull elk was first spotted in July of 2019 with a tire wrapped around its neck, according to Colorado Parks and Wildlife.
So it's the first sighting.
However, the elk had been spotted several other times over the years.
Trail cameras picked up footage of the elk with the tire three times in 2020.
In June, they hit the elk with a tranquilizer dart and cut the antlers off and removed the tire, which is found to have 10 pounds of debris inside of it.
So the elk lost 35 pounds after the tire was cut and removed.
Oh, and the antlers removed, though.
So I don't know if he's happy about that or not.
Why did they wait two years?
I don't know.
Social experiment?
I don't want to see what happened.
Just wasn't on the.
They just couldn't get it.
Wasn't on the priority list.
I mean, I'm not equipped to take down an elk with a tire around its neck at any given moment.
Although, you know, Rangers probably would be.
But, like, I don't, you know, maybe a family's camping and they see it and they're like, oh, elk with a tire around it.
And they didn't happen to have a tranquilizer.
They didn't happen to have a tranquilizer driver on them.
Someone should call Triple-A, get this tire.
Yeah.
So if you're camping, bring a tranquilized direct with you because only you can prevent elk tires.
So they forest tires.
They took off.
They removed the antlers.
Because that's how they got it off.
Because otherwise, you got to cut the body off.
So it's a lot more violent if you do it that direction.
Yeah, I'm not sure the elk would survive.
We don't have the technology yet for that.
In other news, there's a car that's been driving around with three tires in Colorado for the last two years.
Yeah, going, where's my tire?
Dude, where's my tire?
I'm sorry.
Whose turns?
Here's a strange UFO was seen floating over Chicago.
It's like a weird thing in the air.
I don't even know how you immediately think it's a UFO.
Every UFO video I see, I'm like, that's just a thing.
I guess that's actually what you're doing.
Then identify a flying thing, right?
Okay, fine.
Sure, it's a UFO.
It's kind of freaky.
It's kind of looks like a wishbone.
It's kind of freaky.
It looks like a person floating around or something.
There's another video on there that shows like two lights flying around.
My guess is that they're just drones.
That was during a fireworks celebration.
Drones seems likely.
Yeah.
Apparently, this is a trend in the windy city.
More and more UFOs are being spotted in the windy city.
Thanks.
I appreciate that.
I didn't read the rest of the headline.
Because it felt like I was just repeating the same thing I just said.
A strange UFO is seen floating over Chicago, and nobody is sure why strange UFOs are being seen.
Floating over Chicago.
Several.
All right.
Well.
All right.
Well, you think if we're going to meet aliens for the first time, we want to put our best foot forward and maybe don't land in Chicago.
Yeah, and why do they always just kind of fly around up there?
I guess they're just checking us out.
It's like, yeah, if there's UFOs, the aliens, what are they doing?
They're screwing with everybody just for fun?
Or they're lost.
Yeah.
Maybe there's a reason they want to invade Chicago first.
It's true.
They could take it down.
Yep, I said.
All right.
Okay, we've got you a little Guinness World Record here.
Hey, a guy built the world's fastest lawnmower.
Check out that speed.
144 miles.
143 miles an hour.
How does a lawnmower go 143 miles an hour?
Okay, so generally I'm against world records.
I'm kind of okay with this one because it's cool and it's funny to see this guy gunning down the street on a long time.
Does he have to do 143 on grass?
But here's the thing.
Let me pose you a question.
Is there 143 miles of grass?
Yeah, he's gone.
He's on the road.
So it's like, what's because, but Guinness stipulated that the lawnmower had to be able to actually cut grass.
Okay.
Because I don't know if he can go 143 and cut a perfect strip of nicely cut grass full time.
That's unlikely.
Can the blades move fast enough?
That's unlikely.
But again, so let me pose a question to you.
So if I took my car and I stapled the lawn mowing blade portion of the lawnmower to it, would I not then beat it?
Yeah, like 150 something.
So would I not beat this record?
i'm not guinness what is the distinction between you see that that's why that's why I don't think that would be even category if it's literally a lawnmower, but he did put a Suzuki 1300cc unit from a Suzuki motorcycle into it.
All right, well, but it seems more, you know, I don't know if they're meant to go that fast, so a little more dangerous.
I don't know if it's going to take turns very well.
Does it have a seat belt?
He's wearing a helmet.
It just looks like a look at it.
It just looks like a buggy.
Oh, did he like mod it up a bunch?
It just looks like a buggy that happens to have some blades on the bottom.
That's why I'm kind of.
Oh, yeah, I see.
I'm a little bit more.
That's not.
Yeah, that looks like a buggy.
It doesn't look like a lot more.
You should be able to click on it on there.
Yeah, it looks like a go-kart.
Yeah, that's okay.
Not impressed as much.
It's fine.
It's better than most.
It has a blade on it.
It's better than most Venice records.
Sure.
Hey, I bet you've been itching and wondering about becoming a subscriber to the Babylon B podcast.
I mean, we're always prodding and poking you to do it.
Well, here's another poke: 10% off.
How's that sound?
Just enter the code podcast next time you go to that BabylonB.com backslash plans page.
You go there, backslash plans.
You put in P-O-D-C-A-S-T, 10% off a whole year of Babylon B Bliss.
We'll see you there.
Hey, let's do some headlines with pie.
Headlines with pie.
Headlines with pie.
Okay, so this is a, we did this segment with Kira when she was here and Adam.
And we, you know, it was called Real or Fake.
I don't know if we have the thing there.
Real or fake.
So he's going to, we're going to, these headlines are real or fake.
Now, we have an added rule here.
We have these pies.
You guys can see these pies here.
Every pie has a different ingredient in it.
We don't know what we're going to get.
So if you either don't know what to say or if you lose, if you get wrong, you can gain your point back if you take a bite of the pie and guess what it is and you guess properly, guess correctly.
Now, Kyle, are you playing or are you judging?
There's no bugs in them, I don't think.
And technically, I don't have to eat anything, right?
Because I only have to eat something.
I have to taste it.
But I don't.
Oh, you don't have to.
Yeah.
You only have to voluntarily.
Yeah, it's voluntary, I guess.
Because if you don't want to.
Actually, maybe we should.
You have to if you get it wrong.
So now you're changing the rules on that.
Because otherwise, no one's going to eat.
Well, I'll eat it.
But I got a cup to spit it in because I'm trying not to eat so many cars right now.
Where's my cup?
You need a cup?
I'm going to need a cup.
Can someone grab an empty cup for our guy over here?
Okay, just a clarification.
Okay.
The things that are in there, are they traditional food items?
It's not like toothpaste is baked into one of these or something.
Well, you can eat toothpaste.
They're all edible.
Is there a toothpaste in any of these?
That's why I said traditional.
She says everything's edible.
But that's very broad.
That's broad.
They're things.
I think they're all things people somewhere voluntarily eat.
Again, very broad.
My toddler is a somebody.
They're all things sold in the food area of supermarkets.
It's more narrow.
Okay, that's a little more narrow.
Okay.
I think I can.
I'm in.
I'm doing this.
That was quite epic.
All right.
And Adam will be shouting if it's a real or fake headline from back behind that curtain because Adam put this together.
All right, the first headline: the director of Squid Game lost several teeth during the show's production.
From what?
That's a tricky one.
I'm going to say true.
I'll go false.
I would go false.
That is true.
It just doesn't sound like something you'd make up to me.
See, I was thinking the other way.
I was thinking that one's just, it's not too.
How did he lose his teeth?
He literally said it was due to stress.
Stress.
From the stress of making it.
Why are you picking up one?
Because I lost, right?
Well, yeah.
So I want my point back.
He has one point.
He was thinking we were going to take turns like every, you know, you'll get one.
Like that was mine.
I misunderstood the rules.
But I read it, and then we all guessed.
Yeah, we have a different person reading.
We're all guilty.
Do you have your mic then?
You have to eat a pie or you don't, and you just take your negative point.
I don't want to take negative points.
I don't want to lose to you guys.
Okay.
Yeah, because we all get.
So does this mean we're all going to be even at the end if we all compete?
Let's watch Ethan.
Can you guess what it is?
Wait, that meaty very salty.
It's number two.
Wait, do I have to guess?
Let me guess.
Oh, you have to guess what it is, or you don't get to guess it.
Sausage grease.
I don't know.
I want anchovy paste.
Anchovy paste.
Turn me off from trying any of these.
Some are good.
I think there's some good ones.
Yeah, but he got anchovies first.
That's brutal.
Are you trying?
Oh, that's so salty.
Yeah, I'm trying.
I lost.
I said false.
Okay, go, Brett.
Gonna take this like a man.
Do it.
You got this.
I've got my cancel, cancel culture ready.
This is a great audio podcast material.
Cheesy.
It's cheesy.
Cheesy is good.
And it's hot.
Uh-oh, it's hot.
Oh, spicy.
Oh, oh, that's hot.
It's really hot.
I'm guessing like a jalapeno jalapeno cheese whiz.
Uh-oh.
What number is it?
What number?
It's under your little paper.
That's number three.
Oh, that was a scorpion chili pepper.
Oh, it's a pure scorpion chili pepper.
Do we have water?
A little bit of mayonnaise.
You might need water, you guys.
And milk.
Didn't we talk to you guys about the spicy stuff?
I put a lot of cream in my coffee.
Kyle's okay.
Next headline.
You want to read it?
I'll read it.
Okay.
A man in Japan who gave his dog up for adoption was ordered by a court to make monthly pet support payments to the dog's new owner.
Pet support payments to the dog's new owner.
In Japan.
I'm going false.
Can I ask you a question, Adam?
Sure.
Are any of these like where you're being a little punk and you're like, no, it was like it was in Japan, it was China?
Yeah.
Are you being a punk on any of these?
Like twisting one smallty.
Yes, but not that one.
Like the meteor hit, but not her head on the pillow.
Yeah.
You know, it hit her body pillow.
There's one, there's one that's like what you just said.
Okay.
It won't go away today.
Which one is that one?
I'm going to say, I'm going to.
I said false.
Dog support pain.
Japanese people are going to do dog support pain.
Don't they?
I'm going to scary.
I shouldn't say that.
I almost said don't they eat dogs?
I think that's China.
That's the wrong country.
Come on, guys.
I'm waiting for Kyle.
That's scary.
I'm going to say true.
You said false, Ethan.
I'm going to go true.
I think this one's true.
That one is false.
I made that one.
I had a suspicion.
But I had another suspicion the other direction.
Didn't help.
What number is yours?
You were off by one.
Guess.
I am in 15.
Are you counting all those?
Yeah.
There's something black in there.
It's black.
But he doesn't look.
Kyle's not reacting, and Kyle's a little finicky.
He likes how much can I examine this?
Rotted goat heart plaque.
It's just plaque scraped from a dental office.
Looks like jelly.
I think I know what it is.
I'm guessing.
Here I taste it.
It's absolutely disgusting.
Think like a British person.
Why am I helping him?
I don't know.
My hands are all sticky now.
Goodness gracious.
I wonder if you should be able to phone a friend, have them come taste it too, and give you a COVID-friendly sharing tiny pies.
Yeah, processed meat paste or something.
Number?
Oh, I don't know.
This is number one.
Oh, it's the Vegemite.
Vegemite.
Oh, so is that correct?
Is that Vegamite?
Vegemite, like processed meat paste?
Yeah, if you were from Vegas, you'd be happy with that one.
Okay, this is number 15.
No, it's not meat.
Sorry.
This is number 15.
That's what I'm talking about.
Is it sheep testicles or something?
That's a New Zealand everything sheep testicles.
I have Vegemite on my fingers.
Can I have a napkin sometime?
Just lick it.
The lid on this one came off.
Okay.
And so I took a peek inside.
Are you guessing this by looking?
It looks, it literally looks like poo.
Okay.
Is that your guess?
You can just pass and you just dab your tongue into it.
And then you know, I'm already down a point.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to try this.
Whoever loses has to eat the rest.
No.
That's juicy sounding.
Sorry, audio listeners, if you're listening to this joke.
Okay, that's got to be like a Dijon mustard.
What number is that one?
15.
You got it.
Dijon, you got it.
Dijon mustard point back.
Nicely done.
Got my point back.
Some of them are good.
Bettina said.
All right, so we're at this one.
Police detained a naked woman who was wandering around the Denver airport.
Is that?
Are you been a punk on that one?
I'm going to go false.
False.
I'm going to say that's true.
It is true.
Oh.
Why did I follow you?
All right.
We got to keep this show on the road.
Kyle's going first.
Oh, that's good.
Oh, he got a good one.
That's going to turn out to be something absolutely disgusting.
Yeah, that's maggot paste.
Yeah.
Okay, I'm trying mine.
Looks like they dumped the contents of a hot pocket into the pie.
This is some kind of like jalapeno cheese mix thing.
Mine tastes like apple pie.
Mexican cheese dip.
I think that's a nine.
Four for me.
Is that apple?
For number nine, it was neighbor cop cooker.
Ah, God, come on.
What's four?
Four is chili garlic sauce with a little manused chili garlic sauce.
Does Mexican canner point?
Does Mexican chili cheese mix whip thing count?
Okay.
All right, I want to read this next one.
Okay, go ahead.
A new male contraceptive device zaps sperm when men dip their testicles in a tiny bath.
I want it to be true.
I'm going to say false.
Why did I say that?
What country is this in?
Is this a U.S. context?
If it's Japan, then it's probably true.
I'm going to say false.
That one is true.
Did I say false?
I think you did.
Ah, crap.
I was like, yes, it's true.
Oh, dang, I didn't say true.
We're getting through these pies.
I said false, dude.
You said false.
Yes, you did.
You said true, Ethan?
I said true.
I did not hear your answer.
I said I want it to be true.
I know what this one is.
Wasabi.
Oh, no.
Gosh.
You're going to need that water.
All right.
Number 13.
I actually like wasabi quite a bit.
Me too.
I'll kind of like this thing, though.
I'm like, take my spoon and like eat it.
No, I always ask for way more when they give it to me.
More, more.
Wasabi is good when you have that isabi, right?
What number is it?
I don't know.
The one that's wasabi.
Five.
Five.
Yep.
I assume there's not more than one that liar-like wasabi.
I feel like this one's going to be bad.
It's number 13.
they're laughing back there.
It looks medium rare.
You don't have to chew into the mic.
I mean, you can, but.
I'm going to finish this wasabi.
Well, he's eating the whole wasabi going straight in.
This is some kind of chocolate.
Youth leader.
This is just like a wasabi chocolate.
Hershey bar.
Chocolate, huh?
What number is it?
Number?
13?
Apple pie chocolate.
Apple pie chocolate.
Oh, you didn't catch the apple pie part.
Does that still count?
It's chocolate?
Oh, there's a half a point?
I think we should give it to him.
Okay.
Wait, the chocolate is apple pie chocolate or there's apple pie and chocolate?
It could be apple pie chocolate bar.
It's apple pie chocolate bar.
I'll give it to him.
All right, you get it.
You got it.
I should get that.
An investigation found that a Michigan-based diamond importer that claimed to only sell conflict-free diamonds had, in fact, only been selling blood diamonds.
That's New Mexico.
Michigan.
I don't know what I said.
Michigan-based diamond impart.
I'm afraid that it's like New Jersey-based or something.
You being a punk.
Adam?
I told you I'm doing that on one of them.
I'm not going to tell you.
Only one.
I'm not going to tell you which one it is.
I'm going to say true.
False.
Not going to go true.
That one is false.
Praise the Lord.
Goodness gracious.
You have a worried look on your face, Ethan.
Fig?
Maybe?
Seven.
Number seven is mulberry.
Mulberry.
Okay.
This is.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's hard.
You know, I don't feel too bad for him because he's like, he was like youth leader, you know, like...
Isn't he the guy that leaves dead horses?
Dead cow steps or something.
Didn't you leave a dead cow on somebody's porch once?
That was in the other episode with him, if you want to look back on that one.
Yeah.
That's really hard.
It's hard, so it's like, what, human teeth?
What is it?
Do you have bad teeth?
For the audio listeners, he's hunched over right now.
Regurgitating into the cup.
It was kind of sweet, but it was like rock hard.
Cobstoppers?
It's like a candy.
It's like a cooked candy or something.
Number 14.
We're going to need you to be more specific.
Yeah, you might want to just take a shot.
As a caramel.
Is caramel?
It did not cook well.
I think I lost a tooth.
Sad.
All right, next one.
The northern lights were visible as far south as Oklahoma this week.
You know what I don't like about these is how mundane they are.
I know.
I don't know.
Silly.
False.
I need to look at him in the eyes.
Yeah, and I wish Adam was stare at him.
Will you see him?
What do you read?
Is this the one?
I'm just shooting false.
What is it?
I mean, come on.
We're going to get more pies than headlines here.
False.
What did you say, Ethan?
I went false.
Two falses.
Yeah, wait a little game theory.
A little game theory.
If you say false, all three of us will have to eat a pie, and the game will be close to over.
Is it over when the pies are out?
It has to be, right?
We have no more pie.
Yeah.
But I'm going to go risk here.
I'm going to say true.
Okay.
That one is false.
Bubblegums.
How many pies have I eaten?
Oh, so that's the one you were a punk.
It was Wisconsin.
I looked into his eyes and I knew.
You knew.
I could tell.
There was a little twinkle.
He's a genuine man.
He can't hide his lies.
I like that Kunkle's getting all pie eating.
How many pies do you have left?
Four left.
We have four pies left after he eats this one.
It depends.
If we get them all right, then we can keep going.
I mean, we can keep doing this.
We can put them in order and put the best ones next.
I'll get rid of some of the ones that aren't good.
All right, let's do this.
Number 11.
He's squinting.
He's clenching his eyes.
His face is turning into a fist.
He's kind of having conniptions a little bit.
It's blue.
There's something blue oozing out of it.
Oh, yeah, it's blue.
It looks like something out of a goblin or troll 2.
Something turned the ninja turtles into the ninja.
Oh, that's like a lie, because inside it's orange.
It's spicy.
I made the blues from something else.
Oh, the blues from the spicy cheesy.
But it's got a nasty texture.
Poor Kunkle, man.
It'll never be back.
Jalapeno cheese whiz.
Try again.
11.
11.
Oh, that was sriracha.
Sriracha.
A little bit of mayonnaise.
Sriracha and mayonnaise.
What a great combination.
Sneaking a little bit of mayonnaise and everything.
Does every guest add a little bit of mayonnaise to that guess?
The mayonnaise is for consistency.
Okay.
A new study found.
Oh, I already read.
A new study found that talking to strangers is good for you.
True.
Sure, I'll go true.
Can I have a little of the sriracha?
Donkey.
A new study found that talking to strangers is good for you.
At this point, because nobody talks to anybody.
I'm still a risk taker.
False.
All right.
That's true.
Oh. Cunked.
He just got kunked.
All right.
Can I ask you a question at this point?
Are you ever going to come back on the Babylon B podcast?
This is my final episode.
He loves this kind of thing.
Say farewell to everyone.
You look like mad at us, but I'm just saying, you've done this to youth kids for years.
So yeah, I guess it's PayPal.
It's payback.
One time when I was a young youth pastor and I was just trying to create a game, kind of like this.
We had a competition and we poured it was guys versus girls.
You had a guy volunteer and a girl volunteering.
We poured apple juice into a kid's ear.
The other kid had to get a straw and drink it.
Oh, no.
That's got to go back.
Did they suck their eardrum out or anything?
No.
Okay.
Well, one of my adult, older, more mature leaders stopped the game.
You always need one of those.
There's a doctor on staff to consult for these kinds of things.
Or just a guy that's like a normal guy.
Just somebody who has problems with moms.
Wives.
Black looks black.
Looks like there's.
Oh, he looks like he's substitutionary atonement.
Your cup's full.
His barf cup is full.
It looks black.
Can I see it?
Just kind of analyze it.
A little audio analysis.
Ice cream.
This is the worst one.
Writhing over there.
Mushrooms or something.
I'm holding down a gag reflex.
Can you hold that very disgusting look for our camera?
Can you hold it?
Can you hold it up so they can see what they're looking at there?
Oh, it's black.
It's like dark black or green or something.
It's greenish black.
It's like seaweed.
Bicycle.
I just took the Lord's name in vain.
I know, I'm crying out for help.
That's disgusting.
It's seaweed.
It's totally seaweed.
No?
Does it taste like seaweed?
Like sushi?
Sure.
I'll guess seaweed.
It's called Sperlina.
I drink it every morning.
What?
Sperlina?
She drinks it every morning.
Why?
Why do you drink it every morning?
It's going to be really good for you.
Oh, that is the worst.
Sperlina, that's a thing.
So, how do you drink that?
You blend that up?
Yeah, I mix it with water.
Oh, she eats it.
Oh, my God.
Bigfoot.
It is an algae.
You just ate a mouthful of algae.
What was your reaction the first time you had that?
She's a nurse.
Okay.
Where are we at here?
How do we run to the next segment?
Are we?
We got three pies left.
A British man broke a world record by drinking at over 50 pubs in a single day.
True.
True.
I'm going to go with you guys.
True.
That one is true.
It's true.
All right.
Sweat is pouring it out.
I'm sweating.
Police in Minnesota found that a raccoon was stealing items from a man's garage, arrested the raccoon, and took its mugshot.
False.
That's false.
I'll go true.
Why not?
That's false.
That's why not, Ethan.
That's why not.
Oh, wait.
I want to try the blue one.
Yeah, I wanted to do that.
No, I feel cheating because I would not go for the blue one.
Blue-like jazz.
I mean, it looks like toothpaste, but she said it was all in the food section, so I don't know.
It's probably candy or something.
Kind of got a kick to it.
I'm guessing she added a little bit of mayonnaise to something.
It's mayonnaise with a little bit of mayonnaise.
Do you have to guess the exact pepper?
No, I think if you.
I'm guessing it's some kind of like a ghost pepper or a hot pepper with mayonnaise.
And it is number, oh, I think it's eight.
That's a Carolina Reaper.
Carolina Reaper.
With a little bit of mayonnaise in it.
Did you have it?
You freaking nailed it, man.
If you had to guess the exact pepper, were you going to guess, Carolina Reaper?
It's not hot enough for Carolina Reaper.
She put enough mayonnaise in there to chill it out, unless it's gonna like hit me later.
Are these things like the hottest pepper?
Are these items that you went to the store and intentionally bought, or is this just stuff you have at home?
Oh, you have them all you have Carolina Reapers at home?
It's impressive.
Well, I will decline any invitation to dinner at your home.
We got two more, and we got two more questions left.
One of the passengers on William Shatner's Blue Origin space flight is angry because after spending the same amount of money, Shatner was given the window seat.
I'm going with true, false.
You know, we broke bread.
That's just a weight of pressure on me right now.
Let's see, who's been right more often?
I have.
Okay.
What did I say?
I'm going with you said true.
I said false.
False.
That one is false.
Yes.
Okay.
Bonapetites, Ethan.
You look like you're crying.
Are you crying from the Carolina room?
Chocolate.
You get water coming out of your eye.
My eyes water a lot, Minnie, from laughing.
Might be the Carolina Reaper.
I don't know.
Don't touch your face.
The pie protected my fingers.
Maybe.
I mean, it's just chocolate, it seems like.
Do I have to guess onto something besides?
We'll give you chocolate if it's just chocolate.
Six.
Nutella.
Nutella.
Ah, that doesn't count.
Easy one.
Having been on an intense diet for like two months.
Everything tastes like chocolate.
It tastes amazing.
Everything that's not salad tastes like chocolate.
We have one more.
We have one more.
A man in California is suing a fortune teller who failed to remove a curse his ex put on him.
I want it to be true.
True.
It's the blue ones.
Now, what happened?
If I'm right, if I say false and I'm right, then you guys.
We'll split with that.
Yeah, we'll split it.
Okay.
False.
No, that one's true.
My days of risk-taking are over.
This is the blue one that no one, no bottle.
It's got to be candy.
Look at that.
There's nothing that's blue.
Yeah, it's probably like frosting or something.
Everything that's blue tastes good.
Okay.
That's the uh, yeah, it's number 12 unicorn birthday cake.
Yeah, it's like it's a little treat.
No, little treat.
Is there something hidden in there?
What's weird?
It's weird.
No, sweeter.
Sweeter.
Okay.
Like jello.
Is it jello?
Are you going to guess?
Jell-feels like jello.
Jell-O shot.
I say blue raspberry jell-oh, what is called unicorn poop, but it's mostly a marshmallow.
It's a marshmallow?
A blue marshmallow?
Unicorn poop.
Unicorn poop?
Well, I said unicorn.
Do you guys remember that?
Instant replay?
I said unicorn.
You did say that.
That's the uh, yeah, it was number 12.
Unicorn.
I didn't say poop, but I typed in unicorn pop.
So, do we have a winner?
I'm the winner.
I think it's me.
Yaudi.
Kyle won.
All right.
I don't know what he gets, but you can eat everything out of this cup if you want.
The loser should have to eat all the cups.
Ethan ended up with seven points.
Brett had six points, and I had nine points if I'm counting these little dashes.
All right.
Well, sorry, Brett.
I'm a loser.
All right.
Well, that was fun.
Yeah, it was fun.
All right.
So we're going to now have a segment we are calling Kunkle Culture with Brett Kunkle.
Kunkle Culture with Brett Kunkle.
Who is now?
I mean, sure, he's in great condition to jump back on the mic.
Wait, can I use the restroom and vomit?
Yeah, you need to.
Do you really need to?
No, I think I'm going to record you.
You can.
I just, I'm, I'm a little unsettled right now.
We did a show a while back where we had one of those like Carolina Reaper chips.
Yeah, and we took it.
We sort of had to stop and go like, lie down.
You had to stop.
I was like, why are we stopping?
Well, you took it worse first, and then I took it worse later.
I ate the whole thing.
Yeah.
All right.
So what we're going to do, we're going to throw a bunch of things kids these days are into, Brett.
And you're going to let us know if these things are good for our children or if they need to get kunkled.
So we're going to need a giant word kunkle whenever he says kunkled.
Okay.
Okay.
First one.
Okay.
So good or conkled?
Good or conkled.
Get rid of it.
Kunkled means get rid of it.
Okay.
All right.
To conkle.
Let's do this.
As in the verb to conkled.
There are more than conklers.
Bible jokes.
It's like conquering.
Okay.
The milk crate challenge.
I think we're going to have to have to conkle that one because of the physical danger it poses to our young people.
Cunkold.
That seems like that's something that would just be a standard youth group game, though.
Not in this day and age.
In this day and age, you have to worry about litigation.
So games have become much more tame.
All right.
The baby shark song.
Could you heard that one?
Shark, baby, dooted.
It's like that, kind of.
Yeah, you know, I think that's that's good.
That's good.
No, it is not.
That brings joy.
See, we laugh.
Oh, you like it?
Okay, that's good.
I think that's good.
Brings joy and happiness, children.
I need to make a note.
Okay, squid game.
Squid game.
This is the new series on Netflix.
It is South Korean.
They have to play these people to make a bunch of money, play children's games, and then if they lose, they are murdered.
Yeah.
This one.
And apparently the director lost a bunch of teeth.
This one is.
I think this one's good.
Really?
You're down.
It's going to.
It reveals when we.
Evils of capitalism.
That's not what I was going to say.
When you pit socioeconomic groups against each other.
Here's the result.
Okay.
You're down.
And it's a violent end.
So don't do that, kids.
But you're not for murdering poor people.
You're for the show.
It depends.
Depends on how poor they are.
We didn't make him say that one.
He just said it.
He did it.
Next one is Roblox.
It's kind of a game where kids can make their games and they share them and they play them.
And a lot of them are not even games.
You just walk around and drive a car.
It's kind of like Minecraft, which is also, you could answer for both, probably.
It's dollar store Minecraft.
Okay.
Yeah, but in Roblox, you can have cars.
That's not going to last.
I think we need to conkle that.
Cuncold.
Cunkled.
Cunkled.
I feel like you need that.
But Minecraft?
Minecraft?
Good.
Minecraft's in.
It's good for the kids.
It's creativity.
Yeah, it's creativity.
It's not just consuming, but they're.
It's like Legos.
I always try to argue this to my wife because she's like, so they could play Legos for nine hours and she'd be fine with it, but she doesn't want to play Minecraft too long.
Like, it's Legos without all the cleanup.
Exactly.
You just turn it off and they're gone.
Blippy.
Please, Kunkle, please, Kunkle.
You guys know Blippy?
Do you know Blippy?
No.
You don't know Blippy?
All right.
Well, I'll just take the authority here.
Conkled.
I mean, my kid loves Blippy.
So he's a kid.
Conkold.
Yeah, let's conkled.
My kid is obsessed with Flippy.
He just goes out with a friend holding a cell phone and makes millions of dollars acting like bad dollar store Peewee Herman.
I like how he watched seven seconds of it.
He saw him like, yeah, that's gone.
I'm a little more specialized in the teenage years.
Yeah, that's what I was wondering.
I know.
They're all children.
We tried to get some teen stuff in here.
Team stuff is coming.
Okay.
Garbage trucks.
Garbage trucks.
Kids are obsessed with, my kids obsessed with the garbage trucks.
I don't think teenagers are.
Are you talking about the garbage trucks that come to the literal?
You're trash.
Yeah.
Are there any other kinds of stuff?
He waits all week, and then the day of garbage.
He's still, he's four years.
He's still going.
He just can't wait to watch it.
Well, as a trend, that's really good.
He owns a bunch of garbage truck toys.
He buys them whenever he has money.
So garbage trucks are good.
Okay.
TikTok.
That's a mixed bag.
You only have two options here.
Well, I think the more social media platforms we can eliminate, the better for the next generation.
So we're going to have to conkle TikTok.
Concold.
Conkled.
Do you have a TikTok?
I do.
I'll skip down.
Haven't done anything with it yet.
Okay.
I'll skip down to a more teenage one.
Harry Stiles.
Oh, Harry Styles.
I'm not sure the kids are as much in him anymore.
Very socially progressive.
He is.
I think we're going to have to conkle him.
Cunkle the Styles.
Concold.
He's trying to blur the distinctions between males and females.
He is.
How about gay Superman?
Yeah, I just heard about that one.
Yeah, we'll have to conkle that.
Concold.
How about slap fighting videos?
Is that good for the next generation?
Just two beefy Russian guys.
Oh.
Well, they got ones up in the Appalachian range.
They got them all over the world now.
Yeah.
What's growing?
What's the good of that?
It's like light MMA, I think.
Masculinity.
It feels like a youth group game.
Masculine.
That's what's left.
That's all I got.
No, we're going to conkle that one.
We're conkling the slap fighting.
What's that?
Concold.
The MMA, I would see it would be in a different category than slap fighting.
I don't know all of these.
How about the oversized?
I did see the Kamala Harris space video.
What is that?
I don't know what that is.
I didn't know what that was talking about.
Is that the kids?
That's where she's sitting with child actors, it turns out.
And she's promoting space exploration.
She's talking to like sixth and seventh graders, and she's like.
They're all actors?
There's like space up there, and there's stars.
The planets.
They're up there.
And it's just like, and they're like, oh, you know, it turns out that they're all child actors.
So weird.
I just actually clipped this video because I'm going to use this as an illustration in one of my talks.
But one of the kids says to her, like, what's the, you know, the biggest piece of advice you'd give our generation?
And she says, don't let anyone tell you who you are.
You tell them who you are.
And just right there, that's the sign of the times.
You define you.
You do you.
Yeah.
So I think we're going to have to conkle that.
Concold.
Concold.
What?
Oversized shirts.
Now, your daughter told you this is a thing.
And my 15-year-old daughter just the other day, like two days ago, walks up to me and says, can I have one-year-old sweatshirts?
And this is a sweatshirt from when I was like 100 pounds heavier than I am now.
That's like 350.
And I bought this to be a comfortable shirt that was big on me then.
So she's wearing basically a shirt that like all of her friends she's had since she was born could all fit into and have a slumber party.
I think this is good.
This is the new generation's version of modesty.
Modesty.
Modesty's not bad.
No, apparently they wear crop tops underneath them.
Yeah, they do.
They wear crop tops.
So are you going to conkle the crop tops?
Or are those good?
Well, I'll do a 50-50.
Crop tops under oversized shirts.
Good.
Are they okay over them?
Why not?
Or over them.
Or over them.
Crop tops with no oversized shirts.
We'll conkle that.
Cunkled.
Wait, I don't know what to write.
So crop tops under the overtide shirts.
It's a combination.
Okay, they stay.
We had to make some important distinctions.
Okay, so now we have Brett Kunkel's vision of the world.
All in one.
Almost all conkled.
So in Brett Kunkel's world, you listen to the baby shark song while watching Squid Game.
Playing Minecraft.
And playing Minecraft.
Wearing a giant shirt while you wait for garbage trucks.
With a crop top under them while you wait for a garbage truck.
Oh, yeah, garbage truck.
I love this utopia.
That's a beautiful vision of the future.
It truly is.
Those are our future leaders.
Yeah.
Perfect.
That's it.
Hey, you guys want to do some hate mail?
Yeah.
The bee or not the bee?
That is the question I ask myself every morning as I drink from my the bee or not the bee mug.
Now you too can drink from this amazing coffee cup and ask yourself the same question.
Which is better?
It's so hard to decide.
In fact, I would say it's absolutely the baby on bee, but now the bee's pretty cool too.
Enjoy this mug.
I really miss Adam Ford.
Ooh, this guy, this is from Marco.
I can't say his whole name.
I want to.
It has such a nice colour to it.
We wrote an article called 17 Things That Have a Better Approval Rating than Joe Biden, a higher approval rating than Joe Biden.
And one of those was the candles that Gwyneth Paltrow sells.
And there's one that's called...
That are supposed to smell like a certain female body part.
Like her, like a hee-hee.
Virginia.
And we used the actual word of this body part in the joke that this has a higher approval rating than Joe Biden.
And this was how Marco responded.
In the one article about 17 things with better rating than Biden, there was a reference about some movie stars, well, movie start is what he says, but I think he means movie stars.
Some movie stars body part.
I shared the article without checking on the items.
I really trusted being clean and clear out of offensive or obscene content.
I was seriously outraged and embarrassed when I figured that the content included someone obscene reference posting about people's body parts.
Period.
To me, and for decent people, is still obscene and tasteless.
I'm really disappointed.
Kyle, what do you have to say for yourself?
I'm sorry.
So then didn't Seth reply?
And Seth replied.
This is our CEO.
We're adults here.
Use of the word vagina is not obscene and tasteless.
You're a funny guy, Marco.
And then he replied.
Impassioned.
I'm an adult male also, and I still find the body part should not be shared in a public article, even though the Hollywood left standard is so low.
It is not funny that I have to apologize to the contact I have shared the article to, because I though I could count on you being civilized and decent.
No!
Any cover human body part that is covered for a reason should not be made public by words, nor explosive pictures, or we are not doing satire anymore, but pornography!
And he says, Do you think that counts as pornography if you say the word?
Wait, I'm not done.
Thanks, Marco.
Wait, I'm not still not done.
Then he has a quote: Oh, the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Edmund Burke.
This is his stand.
This is his good thing to stop the evil.
That's a pretty broad definition of pornography.
Saying the word vagina.
Goodness.
Like by that definition, you can have a book called You Should Never Look at a Vagina Till You Get Married.
That would be pornography.
Under this definition, I'm just trying to be logical.
I'm just trying to.
Well, any body part that's covered, any body part, any cover, human, any cover, human body part that is cover for I think this guy, I think English is this man's second language.
This is my guess.
It's possible.
Should not be made public.
So my arms are covered right now.
Yeah.
Do you want me to?
I think we want to see the arms.
Sun's out.
Get him out.
All right.
Well, we're going to go into our subscriber lounge now where Brett Kunkel is going to get real with us.
Oh, yeah.
He's going to break it down.
He's going to tell us all his crazy stories about eating cockroaches and killing, murdering cows and all kinds of stuff that he's done as a youth leader.
We got some love masks.
Yeah.
And maybe we'll talk a little bit about Maven.
Yeah, let's talk about Maven.
Maeve.
And learn some more about that.
We got some bonus hate mail coming in.
Bonus hate mail.
We got some love mail from some fans.
We're going to read subscriber headlines.
And we want you guys to check out his podcast, the Maven Parent podcast.
Yeah, they take on all the hot topics.
That's where we get a little serious.
Or at least my wife gets serious.
And you goof around.
Social media.
I'm kind of sarcastic.
I told her she needs to be more like you guys.
You know, we need to banter like this.
And eat weird food.
Make little pies.
I think we might do, we might hire your baker here and do this segment on our next podcast.
We see what she's up for it.
We prefer as long as you spell it Baker with a Y instead of an E to make it gender neutral.
And the K is replaced with an X.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then add another X in the N just to be safe.
The Xerx.
The Exercise.
Can you do that?
Is that how you pronounce it?
Back of the corner.
Yes.
Okay.
To all you people who don't have any money.
See you later.
People who want to subscribe to the Babylon B, smash the join button on YouTube or go to BabylonB.com/slash plans.
You can join us for the rest of this fascinating conversation.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
How does it feel to be here with us?
Is this the classiest place you've ever been?
We do some unique worldview mission trip type things.
We try to get Christian young people out of the Christian bubble and figuring out how do you dialogue with people who don't believe what you believe, who actually think you're wrong.
How do you have a civil conversation with that person?
Oh, I think we need to kind of rethink what it means to love people in this culture.
I have a lot of empathy for the kids that are struggling with that because it's like, I mean, when I was 13, I was an idiot.
You know, I didn't know what I was doing.
Toward the newsboys, they're tied to the tracks there.
Wondering what they'll say next?
The rest of this podcast is in our super exclusive premium subscriber lounge.
Go to babylonbee.com/slash plans for full-length ad-free podcasts.
Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.
Until next time, this is Dave D'Andrea, the voice of the Babylon Bee.
Drunk couple sneaks onto water slide after hours, crashes into barrier, and shatters their legs.
Well, that night sure went down the tubes.
Wow.
There we go.
That was a rough start.
Are we rolling with that?
Roll it, baby.
Roll with it, baby.
Singaporean robots now patrolling streets to enforce proper social behavior.