THE BEE WEEKLY: Best Christian Album Covers And How To Hang Your Hammock
In this episode, Kyle and Ethan are joined by Kevin McCreary from Say Goodnight Kevin. They talk about the best Christian album covers of all time, horrible places to hang your hammock, and The Babylon Bee triggering the socialists on Twitter. In the subscriber portion they talk about crazy Christian movies they can't believe are real. One of our superfans gives us a very sweet and loving one-star podcast review and then Kyle, Ethan, and Kevin dive into the weird news of the week. People have been hammocking on electricity towers, the AMA says to get rid of sex designation on birth certificates, and a two-headed snake still needs to eat. Then Biden ate something off his chin and people in Spain were assaulted by a guy with a harpoon. A cat apparently likes to play loud music, eBay stalked some innocent people, and there is a disturbing new Guinness World Record that raises so many questions. The guys then do a run down of the greatest Christian album covers of all time. They will definitely rock your faith! We get hate mail from the official Socialist Party account on Twitter and then the guys talk about some crazy Christian movies that they can't believe are real in the subscriber-exclusive lounge.
Drunk Spaniard beats restaurant goers with harpoon?
He was wailing on them.
Couple stalked by eBay.
CEO bids farewell because you make bids on eBay.
Classic.
These Christian album covers are going to rock your face.
Wow!
All this and more on the Bee Weekly.
Does Ethan have any weird growths on any part of his body?
Does Kyle like D ⁇ D or not?
Does Ethan write any books about things other than possums?
Where does Kyle get all his ideas?
How many bastard children does Ethan have?
Why does Kyle, how does he get his hair like that?
All these questions and more answered this Wednesday at 6 p.m. Pacific.
Yes, 6 p.m. Pacific.
We are doing our first live stream.
Well, not technically our first, but in my garage.
But our first, like, official professional live stream.
Live stream.
Live Q ⁇ A here on the Babylon YouTube channel.
You ask questions, subscribers get top priority.
So start asking the questions.
We're going to answer.
We're going to interact in real time with you as if we're sitting right there in your living room.
That's right.
If you are wherever you watch videos.
If you're a paying Babylon B subscriber, there's going to be a post on the website where you can submit questions.
So look out for that in the premium section.
If you're not, you're a peasant and you're going to have to wait until the YouTube thing goes live and then you can start asking us questions in the chat.
Either way, we'll see you then.
This is the Babylon Bee live stream.
Wednesday.
August 11th.
At 6 p.m. Pacific.
Pacific time.
Hey, everybody, welcome to the Bee Weekly, where we cover all the news, and this is the only news source you ever need.
I'm Kyle, and this is Ethan, and we're hanging out today with Kevin.
Say goodnight, Kyle.
Everybody, say goodnight to Kevin.
Say goodnight to me.
I'm going to bed now.
Good night.
Good night, Kevin.
That's his YouTube name.
Say goodnight, Kevin.
It's his YouTube channel where he reviews terrible Christian movies.
And good ones.
And some good ones.
Sometimes video games.
And some not Christian movies.
Yeah.
Because he's a sinner who is going to hell.
I mean, I would prefer to watch the Christian ones because, you know, I'm a Christian.
Right.
Well, you probably get better.
You get a sin exemption if you're watching it to warn people.
Yeah, like plugged in or whatever.
They have to hear all the cuss words in order to count them.
I always do like watching those, reading those faith-based reviews or family-based reviews, and they're like describing in graphic detail the scenes that happen.
Don't watch this movie because this horrible thing happens.
It contains adult situations.
And they have a cuss count, like to count every cuss word out.
Yeah, and they'll be like, there are 257 F-bombs.
Who does it?
Because I know Plugged Innov.
But I've heard that.
And it must be somebody.
Yeah.
Parent.
Yeah, maybe movie guide or something.
It's helpful, though, when you're trying to pick a movie or a kid.
Yeah, and you want to know what else in there.
So thanks for coming, Kevin.
Kevin is going to be on our interview show soon, and his flight got delayed.
So we just said, hey, you want to stick around for the weekly?
Yeah.
So honored.
This is.
So if you like him, then why wait for the interview show that's going to come later?
Yeah, it'll fix that.
Yeah, it'll be fun.
A lot of heresies.
Many, many.
We got into it.
So we had a review from a fan.
I think it's a good idea.
It's so nice to get reviews.
Yeah, it's hard to tell.
So this is like, this is like a super fan.
I think his name's Phil.
Phil 3PO is his little handle.
And he says, love it.
Love it.
And then the heart eye emoji.
Heart eyes.
And then five hearts.
Like, wow.
That's a lot of hearts.
I love listening to your podcast.
Please don't get canceled or censored.
God bless.
And he spells God, you know, the Jewish way where they skip the.
Is that please without an E then?
So it's please.
Yeah.
He's pleading that we don't get canceled.
And then he gave us one star.
One star?
Does he know how stars work maybe?
Thought that one star is like the number one star?
I don't know.
It could be a possible thing.
Maybe there's some sort of rule about like if you overdo it with hearts.
Oh, you can't.
It's kind of like a big game or whatever.
You can pick hearts or stars.
You can't do that.
That's a good video game reference.
You get five stat points and you put them all into hearts.
Put them all in.
All the stat points are in the hearts, and I can't do stars.
Yeah.
Rookie mistake.
Well, Phil 3PO, if you feel like editing your review, you could give it five stars is the best.
Just so you know.
It sucks.
It's such a missed option.
And one star.
They kind of mess things up for us when people do one star review.
I know.
We have like a fan who actually likes us.
Oh, this is great.
And then he clicks the one star.
Is this on iTunes?
I think this is iTunes.
Yeah, iTunes.
What might happen, though, is sometimes because you can order them on, you know, highest rating, lowest rating.
Anybody who orders it to lowest rating, they'll read this.
That's true.
And they'll say, oh, even the bad ratings love it.
Love it.
That's actually good.
If this is the one-star rating, I wonder what the five-star is.
There aren't even any negative reviews on it.
3,000 hearts.
Hey, you want to do some weird news?
Always.
This news is weird.
So apparently people have been hammocking, which is a word.
Yeah.
On hammocks.
One sitting in a hammock or lying lounging tower.
You need poles.
That would be hammocking.
And they have been hammocking.
Hammockers have been hammocking on electricity towers in Utah.
So they've been climbing electricity towers.
Like an electric line, you know, like the big thing that holds up the electrical line.
Is that like a plant where there's like where the iron giant went to like eat to eat the electricity or something?
Okay, you haven't seen.
I don't know.
There's probably a picture.
Oh, I see the picture there.
Okay.
So the police have warned against it.
Please do not hammock to all the hammockers out there.
How many hammockers are there?
It must be a whole underground society.
I imagine fewer soon if they're hammocking.
There's going to be fewer than there are now.
Yeah.
They're reeking hammock all over the electric towers.
Power lines apparently can carry 75,000 kilovolts.
That sounds like a lot.
And it's got kill in it.
And it has the word kill right in it.
And that's how you know it's deadly.
And they say electricity can jump from line to line.
Yeah.
They should call it murder volts.
75,000 murder volts.
Murder volts.
Death volts.
Death volts.
So the police are warning people about this.
Yeah.
But aren't there signs already?
There probably are signs that say don't go in here.
These poles will kill you.
But you know, hammockers.
They don't think rules apply to that.
So true.
They're kind of a rogue.
They think they're taking a break from the rules.
I'm just saying that if there's already laws on the books and people are breaking them, how is more hammock control going to affect people who already follow the hammock laws?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I think we need an amendment protecting our right to hammock.
Yeah.
The right to bear hammocks.
You want people to just be able to own like a 77 Abrams hammock?
How would you assault hammocks?
I can't even.
I can't think of a reason why anybody would ever need a hammock.
Well, the government is nuclear hammocks.
Oh, so you want everybody to be able to own a nuclear hammock?
Yes.
What about a hammock silencer?
Of course.
What about a hammock bump stock?
I thought that makes me wrong.
Yeah, it's a stock.
A stalk.
Like a corn stock.
I can't say that word.
I just learned I don't know.
Speaking of stocking, actually, no, that's later.
The American Medical Association says sex should be removed as a legal designation on the public part of birth certificates.
So what is on there?
Just the name?
John Smith was a baby on this date.
Were born.
So I didn't know.
There was certainly not much on there.
There's not much about you yet it's just like the county you're born started like the worst biography ever written.
Maybe I didn't know.
There was a separate birth certificate, like a public one and a private public part.
Oh, what's on.
What's on the private one?
Oh depending yeah, i'd love to know.
So, all right, the private one's like really ugly baby.
Yeah, it's the doctor's private notes, his review, huge head, just some massive doggy.
So that's cool.
Uh, they say requiring it can lead to discrimination and a necessary burden on individuals whose current gender identity does not align with their designation of birth.
But the destination of birth would still be submitted to the?
U.s.
Standard certificate of live birth for medical, public health and statistics use only.
So like, for 99.9999 of people, your birth certificate would be like useless to like be like.
I am a man, you know.
I don't see why it can't just be biological and then, whatever you're doing later I can be more later.
It says, right here, it can lead to discrimination.
Yeah, did you read the?
Can't you read the story on there?
But if we just can't, we just as rational people go, oh, it's biological.
Oh, you're saying people are irrational.
Yeah, just that's, can't we?
Just it's quite the assumption.
Yeah, isn't it just simpler that way?
I don't know, i'm just throwing it out there.
You're one of those rebels, you're?
You're like a hammocker.
Yeah watch, Amikin on the telephone poles.
All right, what's next?
I'm not, i'm not sure how that ended up in stupid news.
That was no, just a news story.
News fascinating at long last.
It's not stupid news, it's weird.
Uh, two-headed snake.
Oh so, these are.
You're up now.
Yeah yeah, two-headed snake eats two mice at the same time with each head.
Oh so it was like like they're both eating at the same time.
Now I want to know what happens when it hits, because I think they share a throat right, or at least like a.
They share something, they share something.
There's a video.
The more fascinating part to me is when they go poo-poo.
Because that's they go whose food?
Because they're both doing it together, so they can like analyze the feeling together and be like that's a good one.
Imagine if one of them decides to go on a diet and the other one is like just chowing down.
It's a two at the same time.
It's like ah, there's bob, there he is, you're eating two mice again, could you please?
I'm trying to watch my weight.
I'm trying to watch our weight.
Yeah I, I hate you.
Look look, it's, it's fill.
Look at how big the the bulge is in our, in our snake esophagus, snake esophagus, our weird snake tube.
There's a joke there somewhere.
The snake's name is Ben And Jerry.
Oh good, so there's commies commies, snakes.
Yeah, of course he's gonna eat a lot.
Yeah because like, we're gonna die of a heart attack, like the real Ben and Jerry.
Has this happened before they really die of a heart attack?
I think one of them did.
Oh that's, that's sad, did they not?
Funny, sad.
There's a joke there, I think.
Heart attack potential jokes.
You get to watch what is essentially the writing session for the final podcast on others.
Let's go in.
All right, here.
In other shows, they make the jokes beforehand.
Could you imagine?
They tell them too much work.
Yeah.
So there's a video?
There is a video.
Did you watch it?
No, I'm not sure.
They were eating it.
I can verify.
Unless it's a deep fake.
I didn't get to.
I wanted to watch till I got to the converging of the mice in the throat area, but I didn't get there because I got distracted.
Yeah, I wonder how that.
Let me know how it went.
There's no nothing in the notes.
I'm surprised that I didn't realize how little snake there is.
Like the there's so much snake, and then the heads are just right next to each other.
They're right there, yeah.
Yeah, I was picturing at least a little bit of like the mice probably shape.
The mice probably see each other, like, whoa, I didn't think I'd see you again.
Hey, I'll see you in there.
Is that you?
We could die together.
So this was kind of fun.
A staffer handed Biden a note saying that he had something on his chin, and Biden then proceeded.
You know, if you were to get a note like that and you were giving a speech, you'd be like, oh, thanks.
So he proceeded to wipe it off in the street and then eat it.
He ate it.
But what was it?
Was it worth it?
I don't know.
Maybe that's what it was for.
It was for late.
did like the look at the finger thing and but I mean I kind of felt like that's pretty uh relatable for me I'd eat it.
It's still good.
I never actually watched this video.
It's good to finally have a president that normal sees one of the guys.
Just one of the guys.
You know, it's what any of us would do.
That's painful to watch.
It's what any of us would see our grandfather do.
Right.
Yeah.
I used to have breakfast with this old guy, and he would be, you know, he'd go on about me reading the Bible and he'd just start basically preaching to me.
And he always suddenly got a bit of pancake on the side of his mouth.
And then I'd be watching it.
I couldn't get it in to tell him it was there.
And it kept moving around his face as he's talking.
And it slowly, once it got to his lips, I knew that the moment he said a P, it would shoot at me.
Ah, it is coming.
Paul said, you know, Corinthians and Corinthians.
So all of a sudden it gets there.
I'm like, shoo.
So that's probably like that.
Biden.
Has he considered a run for president?
He's passed.
Oh.
That's too bad.
If we could just get a Christian president.
I know.
Yeah.
We'd be saved.
If only God would heal our lands.
Yeah, a Christian president would be great.
We only have a Catholic one right now.
Not even close.
But he's a strong Catholic.
Yeah, he's very hard to devote Catholic.
Video shows drunk Spaniard beating people with a harpoon after being refused service at a restaurant.
All Spaniards have a harpoon.
They just got back pocket.
A visibly drunk man showed up to a Spanish pizzeria last week and asked for a table.
Hello, I would like a table.
Employees, I'm just imagining the guy from the guy with the guitar behind him.
I know the Indiego Montoya guy.
Yeah, employees told him the restaurant was full and he couldn't be served there because how drunk he was.
I will return.
This word you use.
The man then freaked out, throwing tables and chairs around the restaurant's patio.
Which is crazy because people were sitting at them because it was full.
It was full.
So their tables were being mushed food at these tables.
They breathed a sigh of relief when the man left the restaurant.
Glad that's over.
And said, adios.
I'll be back.
However, soon after leaving, He turned with a harpoon and started beating people with it and using it to destroy property.
He also threw more tables and chairs and maybe pizza dishes.
Okay.
So did he go buy the harpoon?
But he got away before the police arrived.
So they're out looking for him.
They're on the hunt.
He's their white whale.
They're going psychotic on this chase.
For this man.
Isn't that a pun?
They're lust.
That's the Ahab.
I get an all Ahab on this guy.
Okay.
Got it.
Yeah.
I got the Moby Dick reference.
They're being real torpoises.
Yeah.
They're being real Moby Dicks.
Oh, well, that doesn't make sense.
Yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't.
That was the pun that was too far for you.
That was the one.
They've been checked into Ahab.
So I'm really curious if he had the, if he already owned the harpoon, if he went, like, there was like a harpoon store next door and it was just all the possibilities, Chainsaw.
Beating people with a harpoon is not how you use it.
Yeah, usually typical use case.
Thankfully, he wasn't harpooning people.
Yeah.
Reeling them in.
That'd be a lot more work.
They're hard to get out, I assume.
They got a little barb on there.
I knew a guy who got shot in the leg with the harpoon.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and it is.
It's not easy to get out.
I assume.
Because they're made to stay in.
Yeah.
You got to reel a whale in.
Yeah.
That's got to be a lot of work.
I don't know.
I don't know a guy who's done that.
Yeah, me either.
It was spearfishing, so it probably wasn't whales.
Oh, okay.
Still.
Still.
That is the other thing.
Was it like a spearfishing thing, or was it like a harpoon?
That's true.
Like a thing that you're on, like a turret that you have to sit at.
Maybe I'm going too far with the harpoon, thinking only whales get harpoon.
That's not true.
Yeah, how dare you?
What a small-minded statement.
It looks fairly small.
I'm watching the video.
Not only whales get harpooned.
Yeah, not all whales.
Not all whales.
You guys want to just start over?
I thought this is what you guys do.
This is a dress rehearsal.
You make these jokes.
It's true.
I thought he was in a safe space here.
Guy likes to act like he's not in on it.
It's my thing.
It's my stretch.
Oh, I see.
Now you're ruining.
What guys are doing here?
I'm the office when you're in the middle of the day.
He's random stimpy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I will allow you to watch that.
Yeah, I'll be red.
I'll be red.
All right.
So next news.
Is it fart jokes?
Good night, Kevin.
A lot of fart jokes.
Right.
Yeah.
Police respond to a noise complaint at apartment.
Turns out there was nobody home besides a cat who had turned on the stereo.
Another Spanish story.
Is there a Spanish cat?
Is there a funny joke there?
Puss and boots.
Puss in boots.
Puss in boots.
Oh, yes, that's who it is.
He's turning on the music.
Yeah, what kind of music was he listening to?
That's what I was trying to figure out.
Was it Cat Scratch Fever?
Oh, yeah.
I was thinking something Spanish.
Oh.
You know, just like a Macarena?
Yeah, he's listening to the Macarena.
How about Meowtalica?
Meowtallica?
So he turned on the stereo somehow.
His neighbors said that the music was so loud it was impossible for them to rest.
And then the owner said that this cat, this isn't the first time.
This cat's caught this holiday.
Cat's a real rascal.
He claimed his cat has the habit of turning on the musical equipment with the paw and moving the volume wheel.
Does that sound translated?
That must have been transformed with the paw.
It sounds like a shutter stock description.
Yeah, with the paw.
The cat with the paw.
The attractive cat moves the stereo with the paw.
Yeah, it sounds like stock footage.
Stock paw.
This one's crazy.
We got a crazy one here.
So people kept sending me links to this, and I never clicked on it.
So I have no idea what I'm going to do.
It's kind of wild.
I would like you guys to explain this to me.
Dan might have to.
Dumb.
A CEO for eBay had to step down, and several employees are being charged for flying to a couple city to engage in a targeted stalking and harassment campaign.
Okay.
Okay.
So give me the bite-size version.
What is going on?
Well, it's not bite-sized.
It's kind of crazy.
So this couple, David and Ina Steiner, they run an e-newsletter called e-commerce bites.
That's for normal everyday people who sell their stuff on eBay.
But eBay is now switching gears to favoring large volume sellers.
And so they've been writing a lot of critical articles about eBay.
Oh, this is like the equivalent of like the YouTube algorithm has changed.
Yeah, except for the physical.
It's all just late night shows on there now.
Right.
So these are people who still use the capital or the lowercase E at the beginning of a lot of things.
Right.
eBay.
So former eBay CEO Devin Wenig complained about several of these articles to his subordinates.
So like his like.
So they were criticizing this movie.
Yeah.
Okay.
Soon after someone started, people started harassing the Steiners.
They tagged the Steiner's fence with graffiti, which was like Fido Master or something.
It's like a weird screen name from.
Yeah.
Fido Master.
They began sending spam newsletters and pornography to their email addresses.
Days later, a taxidermy shop in Arizona called them to confirm that they'd ordered a stuffed fetal pig, which they had not.
Even more bizarre, deliveries began to arrive, like a book on grief after losing your spouse.
A sympathy wreath for a funeral delivered to their back porch.
A pizza was delivered to their house at 3 a.m. and they were terrified that people were coming to kill them with the harpoons or pizza.
What the heck?
So then a group of eBay employees flew into Boston, rented two vehicles.
In the fall?
What?
Nothing.
Never mind.
And checked in.
Is that a reference to something?
VeggieTales.
I don't know where you're welcome.
If you want eBay to understand your reference, if you want the guy who wrote Veggie Tales to understand your references, don't reference.
References only ones I wrote.
Even those I don't remember.
Okay.
Pew.
That's a little reference to all the sound effects in the new Veggie Tales.
So these people started installing cameras on their house and their cars to protect themselves.
And the employees of eBay got arrested and charged after Steiner snapped a picture with his cell phone of the van's license plates that was stalking him everywhere he went.
And I believe these vans are black to make it even creepier.
But unfortunately, they had eBay written on the side.
eBay logos on them.
Kind of gave it away.
Foiled again.
So the federal prosecutors announced criminal charges against the six former eBay employees and a contractor.
I should hope so.
Yeah.
That's so how much damage were these reviewers doing to eBay?
I know it's insane.
Like, is that worth all that?
Flying in, renting cars?
Risking your freedom?
Risking your entire job?
This one hurt them the most.
The CEO, Devin Wenig, resigned shortly after all this happened with a $57 million severance package.
Aw, that's sad.
He's not being officially charged.
I'm glad that justice prevailed.
Just prevailed.
I can't tell if this was like a practical joke gone too far.
Like, they're like, you know what would be funny?
I don't know.
Yeah, they're ribbing us.
We'll rib them back.
Yeah, we'll really get them.
They wrote a light.
They wrote an article slightly criticizing.
Here's a little fetal pig porn.
Let's threaten to murder his spouse.
Classic.
I might have read this.
He mixed it together.
A little too quick.
That's fine.
Yeah.
Man, $57 million.
He could give everybody in the United States a million dollars with that.
Yeah, easily.
Or have leftover money.
It's an incredible way of putting it.
For fetal pigs.
Who's up, me?
I think so.
James Goss from Bedford, UK, has a unique style that has earned him the Guinness World Records title.
Oh, this was Kyle's.
For the most flesh tunnels in his face.
Oh, it was your.
You held this record before?
No.
Yeah, it's a Guinness record, so I'm supposed to read all Guinness.
There's two Guinness records on here, so you can have the last one coming.
Okay.
So he has flesh tunnels in his face.
And that means holes.
Flesh tunnels.
They're not a different thing.
You don't buy a flesh tunnel.
And they're not flesh tunnels.
That sounds like a gross thing you buy on infrared.
I was a boy at high school.
I had plenty of flesh tunnels in my skin.
He just bore holes in his face.
Apparently.
You're the kind of guy who puts holes in your face, then you're totally comfortable using the word flesh tunnel when referring to your face.
I feel like we shouldn't say that.
Is that just another word for mouth?
No, it's like earrings.
No.
But I'm just saying, can you say that?
Oh, man.
I can't wait to get some lunch in this flesh tunnel.
It doesn't feel like a word that should not be said.
Sounds like something you would get advertised if you're on the wrong website.
The algorithm is really confusing.
So the Guinness World Records site kind of frames this as your body, your decision.
This is my body, my choice advertisement.
Yeah.
If you want to make your face into a giant flesh tunnel.
But it's interesting, right?
The abortion argument.
Because if the fetus is her body, is it okay for her to give the fetus flesh tunnels?
It's just like a hangnail, right?
As long as it hasn't been pushed out of her flesh tunnel.
Right.
Or other flesh tunnels.
Which of her 14 flesh tunnels would it be pushed out of?
I feel like flesh tunnel would have already been a term on Urban Dictionary or something.
I'm not going to Google it.
Yeah.
That's like a heavy message, I understand.
Don't Google image search that.
All right, we have another one.
Yeah, you can't bleep it either.
It makes it worse.
Flesh beef?
Or just tunnel.
Yeah.
Believe the F a little bit on there.
Okay, we have another Guinness record.
Finally, TikTok stars.
2.56-inch mouth gape earns a world record.
So she has a large flesh tunnel.
Huge flesh tunnel on her mouth.
Whoa.
That's pretty big, right?
Looks like a Muppet.
Look at that flesh tunnel.
Yeah, that's like Kermit the Frog.
That's like the Kermit the Frog when he gets eaten in the original, that old Muppet show in the early ones, and he gets eaten by a giant other Muppet.
You seen that?
It looks like I only know Veggie Tales references.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, you guys don't know anything.
Who's a Veggie Tales with a big mouth?
Or are they all the same mouth?
It's probably all the mouth.
They all have the same little painted on mouth.
Yeah.
Because they're all the old crap.
They only had like $5.50 in a budget for mouths.
So it's the same.
They couldn't even do eyebrows back then.
Yeah, very sad.
Didn't we have another article about a mouth gape?
Well, apparently she's the female mouth gape champion.
There's a male mouth gape champion.
What does her birth certificate say?
Yeah, we don't know.
It doesn't seem like that.
Private one says huge mouth.
Freaking huge mouth.
Get a load of the flesh tunnel on that.
That's what the private one says.
She's a whole paragraph on flesh tunnels.
So she gave an inspiring speech after winning the world record.
I bet.
And she says, If I'm just you talking all the time.
If I had advice for anyone who had a large body part or something really unique.
Sure.
Yes?
And they wanted to go for the Guinness World Record title.
I would say, do it.
Sure.
Do it proud and make it your biggest asset.
It's your superpower.
It is the thing that makes you special and different from everyone else walking around.
And she's done duets by male gape face guy.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
So they sing together.
Oh, that's a duet video.
Have they kissed?
It's not the same.
I want them to kiss.
A TikTok duet video does not necessarily mean you are singing.
Oh, really?
It just means that, like, you know, it's a duet.
They've changed the meaning of duet.
It's like a video.
They could just be opening their mouth a bunch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Although maybe they are singing.
It's possible.
Are they seeing who can fit what?
Like, all right, can you do a whole loaf of bread?
It's a kind of go, dude.
Dude, she would kill.
She would kill a Chubby Bunny.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Or Chubby Chihuahua.
Which people have died from.
Didn't you have some crazy story about one where people were like from Barfin and stuff?
There was one different thing.
Pancakes.
A story of a.
Is that what Chubby?
What is Chubby Chihuahua?
Jalapenos.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, there was a pancake eating contest where someone ate so many pancakes, it like turned into just a heavy cement-like form in their stomach and they died from it.
Oh, man.
Flap jokes.
Those kinds of things.
Those kinds of stories always ran through my mind when they were doing those dumb competitions in youth group where it's like, all right, we're going to do this thing.
And I'm like, everybody, this is how it happens.
Everybody's just so hyped up at camp or at youth group.
And like, it's fine.
We're going to eat peanut butter off each other's armpits and it's going to be fine.
And then somebody dies.
And then somebody dies.
That would eat butter armpit pull.
Probably end your career as youth pastor.
You would hope.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's only one thing, though, that ends a career as a youth pastor.
What's that?
Sorry, I didn't mean to bring down.
There's only one thing, but you know, that I've heard.
We had a whole heard of gold bonding.
Gold bonding?
Gold bond?
Like the.
I don't know.
We should get into this.
I had a youth pastor do it.
And then if it's risque, put it in the subscribe.
gold bond all right let's get into a little more dignified portion of the show here Now that we can't use any of that, let's do the best Christian album covers ever made.
What a fantastic piece of art those are.
History.
It's like, you know, mankind has grown and learned and developed over the past 6,000 years of human history.
Yeah.
Christian art is like the Sistine Chapel, you've got Cada.
Is that how you say that?
Such beautiful artwork throughout the history of the church.
Da Vinci.
All those stained glass.
The Da Vinci Code.
Yes.
Michelangelo.
Cathedrals.
The Spire.
Rochelle.
Raphael.
Yes.
All of it.
Cleading.
Right.
Evolving.
And all of it has led to this era of Christian album.
Of 80s to 90s and some early 2000s.
And some like maybe 60s or 70s.
Oh, yeah.
So we're just going to kind of rattle through some insanely awesome Christian album covers.
And here's one that Michael W. Smith 2.
This is always my favorite Michael W. Smith album album.
It's for real.
So he's like in this Argyle.
So he has a sweater, but then he's in the sweater.
He's inside the sweater.
I wonder, I always wonder.
It has to be planned, right?
That wasn't like...
Yeah, when did this idea...
Because this is this pre-Photoshop?
When is this made?
Oh, you think this is?
Oh yeah, this was like early 90s or 80s even, if I remember right.
Photoshop's like mid-90s starts out, right?
Early to mid-90s.
So, I mean, because I'm just saying, like, he had to have gone like, okay, it could have been like they took a picture in that sweater and he was just jumping around.
And then they're like, hey, we'll work it into the design.
Because it looks more planned.
Like, doesn't it?
We just look at it.
The lines, the richness of the hot pink, neon purple.
It's overlapping him.
So they had to like.
Yeah.
That's what I was going to say is the irony of the craze subject juxtaposed against this orderly, argyle world.
It's really saying something.
It's speaking to me.
Like the sweater, he's not, not only is he wearing the sweater, but the sweater is wearing him.
I always wonder when I look at this album cover, Michael W. Smith was like, oh crap, what have I gotten myself into?
I just wanted to be loving it.
Like this is.
It looks like this was his idea.
Well, he's probably on Coke too.
Oh, wait, you said on coat?
He's on a coat.
He's on a coat.
It's a sweater.
Yes.
And it's just named two.
The album's just named two, so he's not excited enough to give it like a snappy name, like sweater.
Pulling the thread.
Pulling the thread.
There you go.
That's good.
It's just called two.
So it's not just white people who have good album covers.
There's also T-Bone.
Good old T-Mon.
Yes.
Made famous.
Can you read that?
In the song, The Slam by Toby Mac.
What?
He doesn't need Toby Mac.
T-Bone is a legend all his own.
He's in the movie I'm In Love with a Church Girl.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did he job any fools?
Or did he cap any demons?
No.
My favorite T-Bone songs are.
We read a whole song.
Lyrics.
Are you just talking about Executing Demons?
Yeah, The Demon Executor.
So good.
Yeah.
And then I can make that movie.
Very explicit detail about like, I'm going to strap them down.
He's completely shifted his style.
Have you listened to his newest albums?
I looked him up the other day.
It's all like...
It's like country.
No, it's like super auto-tuned Spanish singing.
Like it's a whole different.
It's something that would be on the background at like a not a hookah shop, but almost feels like it.
It's just different.
Those are different.
In the background, like it's like a.
You know what I mean?
I don't.
Really nasally and like auto-tuned, like hard.
So it sounds like him.
It sounds like a robot trying to sing RB or something.
This is weird.
Have you ever seen?
There's like a clip of him being interviewed.
And he like the interviewer asks a question and he just starts rapping.
And then he's like, and now backwards.
Like he wrapped it backwards.
He wrapped it backwards, I guess.
And then he did it in Spanish.
Then he did it in Chinese.
Did he do it in Spanish backwards?
It is real?
It wasn't real Chinese.
And that's where the interviewer gets really uncomfortable.
Yes.
But he's Mexican.
He can do that.
Yeah, he's allowed, I think.
So the album's called Gospel Alpha Mega Funky Boogie Disco.
And then I lost that music.
Music.
Okay.
Music.
Gospel Alpha Mega Funky Boogie Disco music.
And he's got this really cool white robe on.
It might be Photoshopped into him.
Is he a pimp?
Is he trying to be a pimp?
I believe so.
I think, but he's pimping the gospel.
The gospel out.
Right.
Which is what you go be there for and patriotism.
Of respect, it looks like a CGI, and they just like photoshopped his head.
What's the thing about his head?
There's like a yarmulke floating.
What is that?
I think it's a light.
It's like a, yeah, it's like an umbrella for a light face.
Oh, yeah, but they just see the light part.
That's weird.
Is that an accident?
I think it made me that's psychedelicness.
And he's like, it looks like they're trying to be like enhanced.
You do mushrooms, but you don't.
Like, this is for the redeemed mushroom guy, because it looks very like.
The tip thing is because this album is very like uh um, snoop dog-esque.
He's like very yeah, you know, kind of whispering yeah yeah yeah gospel funky, mega boogaloo.
Baby, I want to hear you do a full-on snoop impression now.
Oh no, I can't, i'm not allowed, you can't do that.
So we got some.
Uh, so this is a whole genre of album covers now that we're going.
Yeah, these are the old-timers, the old-time faith, gospel duets and troops and groups.
I feel bad for this one, the the Faith Tones.
Yeah, so this is the Faith Tones and it's called Jesus Use Me, which is fine, i'm not laughing, it's just the language is channel, but people have gotten gross.
But you just look yeah, it gets worse, though they look like background singers on for the Beatles or Lawrence Welt.
Yeah yeah yeah, something like that, bubbles floating around them.
I wonder if we could find any of these people.
And yeah, talk to them.
Yeah, what are they up to now?
Yeah, like this next one might be life.
So he's a kid.
So this is Greg Kendrick.
And is that Greg Kendrick or is that just a stock?
I don't know.
Is that a kid singer, or is that just a photo he won?
He won.
Star Search made this album, it's called.
He touched me.
That is the name of the album.
It's a little boy, it's a picture of a little boy.
And then there's the follow-up album, which is not related apparently, but uh uh, by the, BY THE MIN Minister's Quartet.
Is that right?
This was the era of the gospel CART quartet.
Oh yeah, this one's called.
You'd think that should come back and I agree yeah, this one's called.
Let me touch him.
Honestly, you guys didn't put this in order, any sort of order randomly generated I, you know whatever.
Like people are gross and they read it yeah, but it's just the just the very like dry, the people standing yeah, and it's like just the bowl that turns weird and makes it happen.
Oh, let me touch him.
And then you guys got to be the high ones because I can't do that.
Oh yeah oh Mammy touch yeah well, then we got.
We got Bobby Wood.
I don't know neither we're gonna start a band here.
So this, I love this one, Bobby Wood, and it's called, yes, there's a man in my life.
She's posing in front of a photo well, not a photo.
She's playing her guitar, posing in front of a a real life photo, painting of Jesus.
I love that, like the idea that she's getting proposed to by all these guys.
She goes, there's a man in my life.
Actually, there actually is a man in my life and she pulls up this picture and they're like, okay, dodge the bullet on the bottom.
It does feel like who is she trying to convince here?
Yes, there is a man in my life, I promise.
So we've covered this next one with Michael Sweet.
I'm sorry.
I just had one last thought.
You guys normally go much quicker.
We like to go quick.
I'm sorry about that.
I was just thinking maybe she was the originator of I'm Dating Jesus right now.
Could be.
Yeah.
If you kiss dating goodbye, do you kiss dating?
Sorry, Jesus.
I kissed dating goodbye.
Sorry, Jesus.
I'm going to date you.
Back off.
Striper.
We talked to Michael Sweet about this one.
This is, was this Soldiers Under Command?
I can't remember.
I think it was.
Isaiah 50.
They have that on their logo.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
To justify the name.
The name of the album is Soldiers Under Command, and they got guns.
They have machine guns for guns.
How many guns?
On top of the yellow and black tank, which existed, and someone gave it to them or something.
Yeah, something like some ripped fan or something bought it like that.
My mom gave it to him.
Yeah.
Which is awesome.
How come nobody does that for us?
We want a big you can have this one because it's got like the gun built onto it.
The striper battle van.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot.
I was going to order this off Striper Striper.
Oh, it's out of stock.
Dang it.
Yeah, we need one.
I need one for the lounge over there.
The Babylon B logo is very similar.
It's got the stripes here.
Yeah.
This is another one in the old weird genre.
I can't read the name.
What is this?
Yeah, Kathleen.
But the name of the album is God's Chosen Puppet.
And she's got marionette strings.
They're ribbons, though.
It's just kind of like creepy factor to it.
It feels like they didn't.
It looks like she has broken arms or something.
It's called Ava Kathleen Beatty.
It's a beaty name.
Yeah, that's very creepy.
I'm going to be thinking about that when I try to fall asleep tonight.
You're haunting me.
It's kind of a dead stare.
I don't know.
Something there.
Yeah, it's like the titty chitty bang bang.
Turning around.
That's a car.
Turning around.
Oh.
I forgot that part.
It is a movie, yes.
This is an album by Steve Taylor called I Want to Be a Clone.
I want to be a clone.
A clone.
And he's running through a tiny toy church with a bunch of plastic churchgoers.
But it looks more like a castle.
Yeah, it's a church.
It does look like a castle.
Kind of a castle church.
And I have no idea what's going on there.
There was another.
It's more cocaine was involved.
Same designer as the Michael W. Smith 2 cover.
Really?
No, I'm just.
He was big to get this guy on the podcast scene.
Now, I will say Steve Tyler has some self-awareness.
Yeah.
So this Taylor Taylor.
No, Steve Tyler.
He's got Mouth Gape.
Yeah, he was the runner up.
Talk about flesh tunnels.
Now, audio adrenaline.
Yeah, we like this audio adrenaline cover.
So we're moving into, these are more like 90s, just very self-serious album covers.
His hands are tied up.
Like someone's thought a long time about this, about how cool and very Shakespearean pose.
Solemn this album cover was going to look.
And the bass player's hair.
Yeah, that hair.
Yeah.
Yeah, they probably had people coming up and like combing and make sure I could just hold it right there.
Stay, it's there.
It's good.
No more spray.
More spray, more spray.
And it's nice.
Real nice.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I didn't realize this album was called Don't Censor Me.
It's called Don't Censor Me.
This was early conservative.
Audio Adrenaline is known for their edgy lyrics.
Yes.
They get censored all the time, even if DJs don't play it.
Because they're like an epinephrine shot of music.
Because they're audio adrenaline.
Shoot it into your arm.
They're so hard.
I never knew Christian music could rock as hard as that.
Well, Big House, right?
With lots and lots of rooms.
They originally called Audio Cocaine, but they had to change the name.
They got censored.
They got censored.
That's why they made this album.
That makes sense.
There's no censorous anymore.
You know, on this album, I think it's this album.
I don't know if it's this album.
Don't write in.
There's a song called Chevette.
In my Chevette.
Oh, yeah.
There's a different version on WoW99.
That's way better.
And I think that's the only place that that version of the song can be found.
So think about that while you try to go to sleep tonight.
Hmm.
Okay.
So some more 90s.
This is like early 2000s 90s.
The tasty snacks.
Oh, this was like a Ska.
Oh, I was going to guess that.
I remembered this one from my childhood.
And there's...
It has real Scoffield.
They like those...
Hoop, hoop, hoop.
It definitely looks like they had a friend who said he could draw.
I can do it.
Graphic design is my passion.
Yeah.
So we've got Joseph running away in his underwear.
He did it for Exposure's wife standing there with a really cool drop shadow behind her.
So good job on that one.
Curly Photoshop.
I've never heard this band, but apparently there's a Christian metal band called Messiah Prophet.
That's a sweet album.
It's pretty sweet.
I thought these were supposed to be bad.
Well, just, you know, funny.
I mean, Bad Donkey.
Look at that guy.
He's hammering a guitar.
Like a steel smith.
What do you call those guys?
A blacksmith?
Blacksmith.
But in space, I think.
Or in top of a mountain, maybe.
It's a giant anvil.
It's very like Ronnie James Dio or like Heavy Metal Magazine or something, but without the naked women.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did notice that.
But they were okay with the man without a shirt, though.
Yeah, that guy's got almost no.
And he just has this like chastity belt on.
That's what makes it okay.
He's wearing a chastity belt.
Real men wear chastity belts.
That's as metal as you can get.
All right, so I just like this one.
And I don't even know.
I assume this is a gospel or Christian album.
I don't even know.
But Gary McVay looking very forlorn as his giant behind some trees.
What about me?
What about me?
That's the name of the album.
With the ellipses.
The ellipses is what makes it.
Yeah, the ellipses.
But you can see that this picture was taken in between, like during the ellipses.
He looks like a lonely giant.
He's thinking about eating that shit.
Whenever he makes friends, he smashes them.
And now he's just sad.
But what about me?
All I wanted was to be loved.
He's the BFG because all the other giants are mean, flesh-eating giants, and he just wants a friend.
We've also got.
I don't know why I just realized he's just wearing a button down, but I was expecting it was going to be like chain mail.
I think it's his haircut.
Looks like a medieval night haircut.
Oh, the mutton chops.
All right.
This one's the bad one.
Rays.
Yeah, you had to tell me about these.
I forgot.
Sorry for ruining it.
Power.
Raise power.
So Ray's is the name of the band.
Power is the album.
So they got Dennis Rodman.
And then they got.
It's very spice girls.
Yeah.
And what's that no doubt girl's name?
Gwen Stefani.
And then they got a...
A member of Backstreet Boys.
And then they got...
A member of Destiny's Child.
Yeah.
All right, you win.
We did it.
Why does she got to be a member of Destiny's Child?
Because she's African American.
Oh, well, that makes sense.
Okay.
Thank you.
I was thinking that girl from Community.
Remember, I don't know when this album came out, but my guess is like the year 2000.
Yeah, I mean, it's probably after millennium.
The uh the Backstreet Boys album.
Right.
Because it, it's got that feel.
It's like everything was chrome.
Like we are in the new millennium.
It's a new world.
It's a brave new world now.
Yeah.
We're going to put some bezel on the text.
Or is it bevel?
Bevel.
Edit that to make it say bevel.
Bevel.
And some chrome.
Oh, I'm on their thing.
I'm on there.
They got some motion blur on there on power.
Oh, they still have a website?
I'm on their Wikipedia page.
Are they still going?
Jamar Davis was having an inappropriate sexual relationship with the backup dancer.
That was their downfall.
Happens to the worst.
You know, it strikes me as a band that would be.
The worst people, really.
Yeah, they don't seem like a band that would make a good 50s.
Bob Dylan, you know, just keeps going.
I mean, it was catchy music.
They had a song called All Around the World that was just like, I don't know.
It's just sugar.
Very electronic.
You know, auto-tuned, but probably not auto-tuned.
They just were that good.
And then finally, we got a Michael W. Smith.
Smitty.
Another one to round it off.
Go West, young man.
Go West, young man.
He didn't get into that shirt because he'd never get out of that one.
That is very 90s, right?
Or is it 80s?
It took me a second to get what you were saying.
But the shirt is.
He's in the design.
He's not inside the shirt.
The shirt is into that hand too.
And there's three symbols.
One of them's a guy standing, one of a guy with his fist in the air, and one of him trying to bounce, not fall down.
Don't fall down.
Maybe doing like a DUI test or something.
This is like the Christian version of the see no evil, hear no evil.
Yeah.
And then like the world's craziest boomerang down there.
I don't know what those symbols are.
It's a bow and arrow.
Oh, you think so?
Yeah, like it's a world's craziest bow and arrow.
Well, there's no arrow.
A recurve.
But it's right.
It's a recurve bow.
Okay.
An unstringed recurve bow.
Hey, we also wanted to look at Ethan's this beautiful old band pic from Lunar Active.
I like how I look at the guy who just snuck in and photobombed the band pic.
Yeah, they get the photographs back and developed, and they look at him like the sad thing is that I was pretty much the lead singer.
But you just don't want the fat, weird guy in the front.
Liberty is so much better looking than me.
Well, there's also Eric, the old guy, the older guy.
With the polo shirt.
He sells RVs.
He didn't get the memo.
He's an amazing drummer.
He's like Neil Purt, literally like Neil Pert, like amazing drummer.
Now, why is the mat of color just right there in the middle?
Like a black and white or fat.
I was doing a cool effect.
Did you make bro?
I did.
I did a lot of graphics back then.
And there's some bevel right there on our logo.
A little too much.
A little too much.
Yeah, the drummer looks like he just got back from selling an RV.
Yeah.
You guys.
He was like, oh, crap, the photo shoots today?
So.
Definitely.
Anthony always was way into these kind of photo shoots, you can tell me.
He practices photo shoots.
He practiced that expression right there.
I would love a SoundCloud, but it's just every current podcaster's old band's music.
Okay.
Like a playlist or something?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just like every podcaster now used to have a band.
That sounds horrible.
Yeah, just so much ska and pop punk.
What kind of band was this?
Awesome.
It wasn't a ska band because there's not a bad band.
I wasn't a ska band.
We call ourselves punk ninja metal.
We are highly inspired by Stretch Armstrong and Craig's Brother, if you're a tooth and nail fan.
Nice.
Melodic punk with harmonies and screaming in technical metal rhythm.
Who was the screamer?
I did both screaming and singing.
Whoa.
Is that about what you expected?
It's exactly what I was expecting.
It's pretty good.
We were bumping it the other day.
It does feel like a tooth and nail fan.
We were big fans.
Yeah.
I mean, not later, tooth and nail.
It happened later.
Well, there's just like, like, I think Emory probably lost Trump and Under Oath.
They got a little heavier, I guess.
Maybe the solid state band.
We have some heavier songs.
Emory.
We try to keep it fun, though.
They were always a fun band.
I just had sex.
I can't believe I had sex.
That's every Emery song.
I'm sorry, Father.
I'm so sorry for having sex.
Is that one guy or two guys?
I can't remember.
Like, are they both apologizing together?
No, it's the multiple layers.
Maybe they layer the same guy's voice over and over.
Yeah, maybe they talk about it on their current podcast.
Some men's have a guy that does both, and then when they're live, he can't overlap himself.
Or they got the two guys.
Yeah.
Or the guy, the guy can't scream as well live.
Filling in.
I just want to make it harder for the editor.
I want to know, because that's the thing is it's like, I just had sex.
He just had sex.
He's not involved in solving this part of this.
He's got his arm around him.
I'm sorry, Father.
He's sorry, Father.
He's really sorry.
Sorry, Josh Harris.
Oh, dear.
I should have kissed Danny.
my promise ring didn't work That sounds like a great Christian hardcore song.
Broken Promise Ring.
Well, those are fun.
Were they?
But now let's get to other forms of art.
Such as hate mail.
Such as hate mail.
When you scroll Facebook and you count on Facebook to give you the content that you want to read, it's like you're going up to Mark Zuckerberg every morning, knocking on his door and saying, hey, Mark Zuckerberg, what should I read this morning?
Or you could just support the Babylon B. Babylonby.com/slash plans.
You can subscribe.
You get full-length podcasts, add-free podcasts.
You get ad-free web browsing on our site, premium content.
At certain levels, you even get access to a little social network that our friends at Not the Bee have created.
Yeah, be part of the community, the in crowd, the B crowd.
I really miss Adam Ford.
And we got a reply from the Socialist Party, the blue-checked official socialist party.
This is to our new music video.
And we did a music video of Imagine, more realistic.
Kyle Shutoff is angelic singing voice.
Yeah, everybody, I'm getting a lot of messages and emails from friends and family.
Yeah.
I didn't know you sang so well.
And I'm like, thank you.
The singer is in the video.
Yeah, but he's actually plays Yoko Ono.
Yeah.
You don't have to say that, though.
We're in the world of TikTok.
You can just claim that it's true.
Claim it.
Name it, claim it.
It's true.
It's alright.
I could expose you.
I could duet their TikTok video.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
Oh, yeah.
So we got a reply.
They were very upset that we implied that communism is bad.
And this was their reply to us.
This is a waste of time and resources by ignoramuses who don't know that what existed in the old Soviet Union, etc., was state capitalism.
Capitalism, capitalism, capitalism.
Never communism.
Even Lenin admitted that Russia had state capitalism.
On his deathbed?
Read a book once in a while.
Well, you would know if it was his deathbed or not if you read a book once in a while, Kevin.
And then they post a very wordy leftist meme that I didn't bother reading.
It's kind of cropped in that picture.
It's too cropped.
Yeah, it's disappointing.
Is this like the socialist version of crony capitalism?
Yeah, like it's not real.
Like, no, no, no, no.
It's crony capitalism.
I mean, it is the same thing.
Like, if you say, oh, state capitalism, okay, yeah.
So the state owners.
We're not talking about.
We're talking about crony capitalism.
I'm against that as well.
I don't mean to put you guys in with me.
Did you sound that?
Sounds bad on the word crony.
I don't like that word.
Yeah, I don't like that word.
Yeah, crony.
Yeah.
But wouldn't I get what state capitalism is then?
It's just like the.
It's just they go and say it's not true communism unless the workers actually own the means of production and have free access to everything they need and it's a beautiful utopia.
That is communist.
I feel like you're painting a straw man here.
Yeah.
I am.
Okay.
Can we get a real communist in here too?
But the meme literally says that.
When it says, do the people own the means of production, the natural resources, the industry?
So everyone then has free access to any goods and services they need?
Yes.
Then it's real communist.
Okay, now I believe it.
Yeah.
That's too bad.
So in other words, this thing that has never existed and can never exist.
Never mind.
That's what we believe in.
So what do you want?
I just want Amazon to be able to enslave everyone.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yeah.
And Apple.
And I want them to be able to create armies and fight each other, which will then just become the state anyway.
Take sides.
But it's not.
It's private business, so I'm okay with it.
Yeah, cool.
Hey, let's go on to our subscriber portion.
Let's do it.
Hey, we got a big subscriber portion planned out because we're going to look at a few movie trailers with our man, Say Goodnight Kevin here.
We're going to look insane Christian movie clips and trailers.
Just, I mean, just a sampling.
We have one about a time-traveling Muslim who goes back, terrorist, who goes back in time to kill Jesus.
So there you go.
Okay.
So put on your movie belts.
I'm putting them on.
You have to wear a belt for these movies.
Put on your 2D goggles.
Let's do it.
Coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
So this is God's Not Dead 4, the fourth God's Not Devil.
Yeah, I mean, what's there to say that the other four movies haven't already proved?
They're still not dead.
We interviewed someone in Trump's administration and we tried to get to find out what his breath smelled like.
And that person was not appreciative of that question.
Whole interview canceled.
Wondering what they'll say next?
The rest of this podcast is in our super exclusive premium subscriber lounge.
Go to babylonbee.com slash plans for full-length ad-free podcasts.
Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.