THE BEE WEEKLY: Women of the Bible, Worship Fails, and Poor Penguins
In this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by comedian Kellen Erskine to talk about the ecological destruction caused by humans trying to save Tasmanian devils, the new naked skydiving world record holder, and more heroes who are making the Christian faith better. Kyle and Ethan also talk to Fox News' Shannon Bream about her book The Women of the Bible Speak. This episode is brought to you by the new Christian fantasy dungeon crawler Deliverance. Be sure to check out Kellen Erskine's podcast The Book Pile. Kyle, Ethan, and Kellen answer a Subscriber Dare to wish Noah Myers a very happy birthday. Remember, we'll do anything for money. They then talk about the week's bizarre and weird news like the new Forever Hold hairspray and a climate change activism group disbanding because of its whiteness. The Babylon Bee's own Brandon brings in some mystery food for the guys to guess what it is and the guys salute some heroes of the Christian faith. Someone stands up for Mother in a salty hate mail. In the subscriber lounge, the guys read the top subscriber-submitted headlines of the past week, read some bonus hate mail, and finally Kellen answers an updated Next Ten Questions.
Climate change group implodes from their own whiteness.
Woman punches crocodile repeatedly.
Jeff Bezos called upon to buy the Mona Lisa, then eat it.
Cross falls over, crushes drummer.
Classic.
There are women in the Bible.
Where?
All this and more on the B weekly.
Hey, everybody.
I want to tell you about a Kickstarter board game I backed called Deliverance.
You might be imagining the sound of banjos.
That's deliverance, right?
Or metal music, but this is not that at all.
Deliverance is an epic Christian fantasy dungeon crawl board game, which are not words that you would typically expect to be together, but they are.
And I'm a bit, oh, yeah, see, that says it.
I'm even a bit shocked to put those words together.
Christian fantasy dungeon crawl board game.
As soon as I saw the quality of the art, I knew I needed it in my home immediately.
Ethan didn't think the same thing, but I thought.
It's good art.
I played it a few times and I'm completely sold on its awesomeness.
It's so good that I bet we even get Scrooge McEthan to play it.
No, probably not, without falling asleep this time.
The first time it was, well, you didn't fall asleep.
I didn't fall asleep.
I just was really baffled.
In all seriousness, of playing an elite angelic warrior and slaying the forces of darkness while protecting saints sounds awesome to you.
Go back, Deliverance on Kickstarter.
You should.
Do you play board games, Callan?
I do.
Yeah.
Settlers of Catan.
Wait, there's a Mormon version.
Settlers of Utah.
You played the Mormon.
Settlers of Utah?
No, it's Settlers of Such of the Z. What?
Settlers of Hemla.
Zarahemla.
Zarahemla.
What's that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Is that a Mormon joke?
You knew the word, so I thought.
It's a city.
It's the ancient city that you'd find in the Book of Mormon.
Oh, it wasn't.
If you guys would just read the one that I gave you.
So much materials he drops off every time he comes by.
I can't read it all.
I can't read it.
It's too much.
Hey guys, you should tune into our interview with Stephen Meyer this Tuesday.
He's a smart, intelligent design guy that was like super smart.
It was like talking to Stephen Hawking, but without the voice.
Right.
Right, just talking.
But smart talking and also talking to a normal person.
And it was awesome.
So it's on Tuesday and Monday if you're a Babylon Bee subscriber.
Do that.
This is Subscriber Day.
So this week, so we haven't done a Subscriber Day in a while.
It's been a little while.
Yeah.
We're not getting good ones.
So people send us, you know, they say, do this and then we'll subscribe.
And that means not subscribe to the YouTube channel, which is fine.
We want you to do that.
But this is a paid subscription to the Babylon Bee on the website at BabylonB.com slash plans.
So this one says, hi, this is from Jennifer.
Hey, are you guys still doing the subscriber dares?
I'll upgrade my subscription to custom, which hopefully that means more money, not customized to less money.
If you guys could say, happy birthday to my son, Noah Myers.
He turned 16 today.
I'm sure you have many biggest fans, but he is one of the many.
We listen to you guys every day on the way home from school.
We listen and giggle the whole way home.
We teach each other your headlines.
Text.
Text each other.
Teach.
All right, kids.
Here you go.
Thanks for making us laugh at things instead of crying over how crazy this world is.
Does that count?
I read it.
Happy birthday, Noah.
Is there anything more clever than that?
Noah, okay, he's 16.
What would you tell your 16-year-old self right now if you met him?
Gosh.
I would say, so one thing I looked, I realized when I looked back on my high school career, every girl I had a crush on, if I had asked them out, they would have said yes.
I found out later that they all had crushes on me.
I was too scared to ask.
I let this friendship thing linger on when I wouldn't admit that I liked them.
You like a girl?
Ask her on a date.
She says, No, move on.
That's what I would have told myself.
I would say don't date any girls.
Or yeah, but yeah, or that.
And a nice little date.
Don't go to dance, you know.
Yeah, right.
I would say, if you're going to dare someone, give them a real dare.
I dare this for his mom.
I dare you to say happy birthday to him.
Yeah.
Double dog dare.
Truth or dare.
We did the dare.
We did it.
We're back.
Turnip.
You can't say that.
Yeah.
Weird news.
Let's do some weird news.
Please.
This news is weird.
Hey, you guys remember that lady that put gorilla glue in her hair?
Yeah.
She now has her own line of hairspray called Forever Hold.
So she liked it.
So she was like, oh, this isn't bad.
Yeah.
She was, she went to viral and she sprayed gorilla glue into her hair.
So that was a real.
Yeah, this was like on TikTok and she's like knocking on her head, like, oh my gosh, it doesn't come out.
It's basically like liquid nails.
Yeah.
And so she was kind of a meme for a while and everybody was making fun of her.
But Tessica has launched her own $14 a bottle line called Forever Hold and $18 hair growth oil as well.
Hair growth oil.
They have that?
I guess.
That's what this says here.
Rubber green.
Grow.
Yum.
That's crazy.
I think it's great to capitalize on that.
You're going to become a meme.
Might as well.
Yeah.
That's like what half my jokes are.
How many people out there now, though, are going to just like every other video on America's funniest home videos is like some dad getting hit in the genitals with a wiffle ball bat.
Yeah, I need to capitalize on that.
So she gets like, what do you mean?
Now I'm launching my own sports line.
A line of cups or I don't know what chalk straps.
The guys who biff it on trampolines.
Yeah.
This trampoline can handle a man of my giant size.
But why would you buy the hair product from the lady who put gorilla glue?
I don't know.
It doesn't seem maybe the product says on it, this is not super glue.
Not with large letters on it.
It solves a problem that she had.
Yeah, well, people need that clarity on their products.
We wish Tessica all the best.
Jessica.
Climate change activist group dissolves itself because it's too white.
School Strike for Climate from New Zealand.
Yeah, so in Auckland.
They have this climate activist group, School Strike for Climate.
That's what you're saying.
Recently announced they're disbanding.
It's over, guys.
Their reason, quote: BIPOC communities are disproportionately affected by climate change.
So the fight for climate justice should be led by their voices and needs.
We are disbanding because since 2019, School Strike for Climate has been a racist, white-dominated space.
I like that they're looking around like the world is ending.
It's burning.
But wait a minute.
You guys get this.
Wait, look at us.
Look at our skin.
We're holding.
It's such a strange crossover of two different issues.
Yeah.
Like you think you could.
Any race could save the climate, you'd think.
Yeah.
But, okay.
It feels like when almost any race, Ethan.
Almost.
Almost.
Except for you.
Except for one.
They've done enough.
If anything, to me, it's like this is passive-aggressive racism.
It's very strange.
It reminds me a lot of the, like, I was at CVS the other day, and my four-year-old had to go to the bathroom.
And they're like, the bathrooms are closed because of COVID.
I'm like, how does it help?
She's going to pee on the floor.
Like, is that bad for COVID?
Because it feels like people are doing lazy things because of COVID, right?
Like, on the planes, they don't, you know, they give you a little baggie of garbage to eat.
Yeah.
And like, they're just everything's lazier.
Oh, yeah.
I went, I went to McDonald's yesterday.
You can finally, like, in California, you can walk in and everything is caution taped off.
They're like, yeah, I mean, you can stand in here.
But we still don't want you to linger.
I think a lot of businesses enjoyed not having patrons messing up their stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The gas station that I stopped to on the way to work all the time.
They've got their bathrooms still taped off.
And it's like, I'm just like, I know what you're doing.
You just don't want to clean the bathrooms.
I don't blame you, but I know what you're doing.
But this feels like to me, like, you know, white people have cleaned enough bathrooms.
We're going to hand this off to the BIPOC community.
The bathroom cleaning community is racist.
I need to try to do this with my job.
Like, we won't be writing any satirical articles.
COVID.
All right.
You got the next one, Kellen.
Number three.
So what do I do?
I just read it.
Just read the headline.
Yeah, sorry, we should have prepared you for this.
That's why you have me come in.
You got in like two and a half hours early.
I thought you guys were prepping.
I forgot to tell me I have to read headlines.
Number six.
You don't have to.
You don't want to.
Florida City accidentally sells its water tower.
Last year, a resident approached the city of Brooksville, Florida, regarding a small building near the water tower.
He wanted to purchase their rarely used building and open up a gym.
Sounds so sad when you talk.
So the city, I'm going to summarize what it's supposed to be summarized already.
The city sold the building to the man for 55 grand, and then they found out afterwards that a water tower was actually on the property.
Like the city's water supply?
How does that work?
I don't know.
Which is crazy because I like, I sold a car once, and then I had to call the guy back like an hour later because I left the baby seat inside it.
But how does this phone call go?
Like, I think we left something in your backyard.
We have our water tower, all the water for our entire city.
Is that a water tower work?
Is that the water supply?
I don't think it's the whole water supply.
I don't know.
I forgot what the point of them was.
It's the water pressure because if it's up high.
Yeah, but how did they get it up there if there wasn't any pressure?
Yeah, how do they get the pressure in the first place?
Buckets.
Do they animaniacs live up there?
That's what they do.
That's what it is.
I guess he was at nice guy and he let him have it.
I wonder if he sold it back to him.
It says he deeded it.
100 grand.
It says he deeded it back to them, which sounds like ye did it.
Deeded.
I deeded it.
So I guess that means he gave it to him.
So good for him.
What a guy.
Women.
He's like, I already painted my name on it.
Bob.
Bob's water tower.
Like, you've had it for two hours.
A woman saves her twin from the jaws of a crocodile by punching it over and over in the face.
Was that how I was supposed to read that?
I'm going to read the rest like you.
A set of twins are swimming in a Mexican lagoon during a boat tour.
Yeah, okay.
But you have like, you have like Captain Kirk annunciation with your overtages on a crocodile.
Over.
In the face.
This feels like a story that we need to just watch a video of.
Yeah, is there a video?
Is there a video?
I don't think there is.
I don't know.
This one isn't that funny to me.
It's like what anyone would do.
Like, it's not that interesting.
Like, if she did do anything, it would be a story.
But when you're the twin of somebody, like you see yourself in that situation, like that's what I think is interesting.
Like that's me getting eaten by a crocodile.
It makes it really personal.
I'm going to punch it and then you punch it harder probably.
Maybe she got that strength moms have when they clip the car off their child.
Sure, yeah.
So he's like, my twin is getting eaten by a crocodile.
Because I don't know if crocodiles react to punching that much.
They've got thick skin.
Like whenever they have a product that's thick, they name it crocodile something.
Yeah.
Crocodile phone case.
Crocodile leather.
Crocodile body.
Crocodile ice juice.
Like bike tires.
They name them after crocodiles if they don't get poked.
They don't get whatever.
The real steel here is that.
Puncher.
That's the word.
It was at a pool of a Motel 6.
Is that real?
Did you just punch up a story?
Like a real life story?
I'm going to make this real life story funnier.
How old were they, too?
I was like, eight-year-olds.
But cool.
Is it my turn?
See.
Yeah, you just read that.
Have you ever had to save one of your kids from an animal?
Have you?
I haven't.
I asked you.
That's not how you answer questions.
I answered.
Okay.
I said no.
Oh, okay.
Oh, got it.
You sound like you're teeing up a story.
I was going to.
That's why I asked you so that I could think of animals.
I can't think of an animal that's ever.
Oh, well, my daughter got bit by a crazy pig.
Well, that would qualify.
No, nothing forgot.
than this pig.
Other than the wild boar that skewered her.
It was a...
Okay, so we were at this Airbnb with a farm on it.
And so it was kind of like you could go out and see the animals.
There were these horses and like the chickens like to ride on the horses.
That was cool.
And there was this pig and he had a little space where he could stick his head out, almost like a Disneyland thing where it's like an animatronic pig, but he couldn't get out when he just had his head.
So I was petting the pig and he was great.
So then I brought my three-year-old daughter up, like, oh, let's pet this pig.
And it's like a real hairy pig, kind of a blackish-colored brown pig.
And she goes to pet it and immediately goes, just like puts his mouth on her arm and just starts gnawing.
And I'm just like, I pulled her away from it.
How do you really?
It's okay.
And she was traumatized, man.
Oh, yeah, gosh.
My kid did get bit by a goose one time.
I got mad.
Remember that video a couple of years ago?
This girl got essentially canceled because she kicked a goose and someone caught it on film.
But like, if you've ever been around geese, she's a worst bird.
She should be a worse.
Birds already suck.
But like geese are the worst.
Their poop is like dog poop, first of all.
Have you seen it?
Right.
Oh, well, yeah, it's big.
Do they have the white stuff like most birds or no?
No, it's like green.
It's like a switch between horse and dog poop.
Yeah.
They're the worst.
I'm complaining about them so you know that I'm rich.
Live around a lot of geese.
I live by a lake.
But they're like, they'll like bark at you.
They snap at you.
They're as cobra as most kids.
Yeah.
They're like aggressive about it.
They're mean.
Yeah, I always thought, I mean, chickens get really bad end of the deal in our culture.
And I think, why aren't we eating goose nuggets, goose strips?
Because we could eat all of them.
We hate them.
They're horrible.
You know, chickens are fairly, they're not nice either, but she just eat the roosters.
Those are the jerks.
Yeah, those are the big jerks.
Chickens.
Yeah.
So yeah, I hate geese.
I don't know if you've seen my goose fighting video.
No.
So if you ever go on YouTube and check out my goose fighting, I made an animation for a guy just beating up all these geese.
It's fun.
Somehow got the Babylon B to post it.
I got a Babelbee to post it.
It's on my channel on the Babylon Bee channel.
There's a growing petition asking Jeff Bezos to buy the Mona Lisa and then eat it.
Okay.
So this is just the internet being very internet.
I guess people are over COVID because last year, last year there were thousands of people that are like, why isn't Jeff Bezos giving his billions of dollars to unemployed people?
I guess everyone's fine now.
They're like, maybe he should just like eat paintings.
Eat the Mona Lisa.
How would he eat it slowly with a fork and knife?
And you wouldn't know if the Mona Lisa liked it or not.
Yeah, she's hard to read.
This is almost a non-story.
It's just dumb.
It only had 400-something signatures.
This isn't even like an internet phenomenon.
It has more than 13,000 now.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That story I'm reading says 400, but.
Yeah, 13,000.
We're giving it a signal boost.
I'll go sign the petition or something.
I guess.
Whatever.
I'm sorry.
Now you guys are like reflecting my energy.
You're bringing us down.
I guess it's your turn.
All right.
What happened to the Tasmanian devils?
I guess we'll Kellen take this one.
We'll do this one.
Are you okay with penguins?
Tasmania devils are given a safe island home.
Then they slaughtered 3,000 penguins.
So they were trying to save them to save the Tasmanian devil population.
Right.
And they were given a little home called Maria Island.
And then they started to notice that the penguin population was decreasing.
Right.
So this island, they said it was an ideal location for the devils.
Only 28 were released on the island, which grew to about 100.
And 100 Tasmanian devils ate 3,000 penguins.
Wow.
That's a lot.
I have a couple of questions.
Yeah, it doesn't.
I didn't know they could share a habitat.
I didn't realize Tasmanian devils and penguins could live in the same.
I thought, yeah, like there's a cold?
Yeah, is this like an icy place?
Or are they trying to kill the Tasmanian devils?
Like, we're going to freeze them out.
I want to go to this island.
How neat would it be to go there and just see all these like little brown tornadoes?
Just turning penguins into bloody mist.
That's my other question, though, is how do you know, how do you know 3,000?
Like, is there a consensus?
Yeah, I was wondering about the animal numbers.
How do they estimate?
The basis they take every year.
Yeah.
10,000 of them didn't register this year.
They have some kind of predator heat sensor of how many penguins are on the island or something.
Who knows?
They're the scientists.
We aren't zoologists.
Sad.
Not good.
I mean, this always happens when we try and relocate nature.
It never works out other than for like rats.
That's what Eric Wohler, the representative of BirdLife Tasmania, told The Guardian.
He said, every time humans have deliberately or accidentally introduced mammals to oceanic islands, there's always been the same outcome, a catastrophic impact on one or more bird species.
That's every time.
That's a common saying.
That was in my high school year, but it was a quote under.
Yeah, that was my senior year.
I'm no zoologist, but I would say that penguins, of all the bird species, the ones that can't fly are going to be affected the most.
Probably.
Yeah, the ones that walk like a five-foot overweight woman.
Yes.
Nika.
Why does it have to be a woman?
That's true.
That's true.
Man or woman.
Dudes.
Walk north.
Or trans woman.
I just think that most birds could just like, if there's something dangerous, it'll just fly away.
Right.
You know?
Penguins need to be able to slide away.
They got to have little slides everywhere.
This happens all the time, like the history, the whole history of Yellowstone.
This is what happened, you know, where they try and take out the wolves and then the deer and elk just took over and damaged like most of the trees.
So then the beavers left and then the rivers were rerouted.
Yeah, it's a gentrification.
And yellow stuff.
It was that old lady who swallowed the fly that happened.
It's the same thing.
Just like that.
Yeah.
Like that historical thing that occurred.
Hey, we got one more weird news story.
And it's that a man made 60 naked skydiving jumps in 24 hours and he got against record form.
Well, he wasn't really naked.
He had his safety equipment on.
So you have to be wearing something to skydive, right?
It would be much more impressive if he was actually naked in 24 times.
Survived it again.
He's just more beaten up each time.
Back on.
That is funny, though, about being naked.
You really are.
You really are.
You're still naked.
Like, that's not something you can tell the police.
But I was wearing a backpack.
Can you imagine?
I can't imagine.
Like, he must have been doing this in the middle of nowhere because I drift off with you in elementary school.
Really, skydiving is.
They usually don't do skydiving in metropolitan areas, typically.
I was just imagining like a kid and his mom.
They're like, it's a bird, a plane, a sexual predator.
So it says that he contacted Guinness World Records because there wasn't a category for this.
And he said, hey, could I set a record for the most naked skydiving jumps in 24 hours?
And they said, yeah, as long as you do at least 25.
So artists.
That's the standard.
Oh, and he did 60.
And he did 60.
If you did 24, that's not, that doesn't.
He's a clothed record.
Yeah, I don't know.
Because I want to know if he put clothes on, would he be in a whole new bracket?
Yeah, it'd be a different weight class, right?
Yeah.
I just, I'd be afraid of like drones.
Like with the cameras or like landing on them?
Landing on them.
They're made of propellers.
There's all kinds of bad places you could land.
Yeah.
No, but drones are flying.
I'm not saying a parked drone on the side.
Right.
You don't want to like hit it.
The sky is a big area.
There's a lot of space.
The sky is big, yes.
The sky is a big.
There's a lot of.
I mean, the chance of hitting a drone is probably not.
In-depth analysis.
I mean, did they film it with drones?
It was just a joke.
But I understand the rarity of those during this segment.
I understand how physics works.
It's what I think about like when you go to states that don't require a motorcycle helmet.
I think it's so bizarre.
Because I've driven by in a cement truck and had a piece of gravel crack my windshield.
I think about that every time I see a guy on a motorcycle, you know, without a helmet.
So I mean skydiving.
You're just opening up your whole body to who knows?
Yeah, you're naked.
Your whole body.
You're really open.
Doesn't this sound like a dream that all of us have had in the middle of class?
Shook awake.
I was skydiving a bunch of times, and I was naked.
60 times in 24 hours.
I got a record for it.
They give me a trophy.
Hey, sorry to interrupt that hilarious podcast that you were just listening to, but my buddy Ethan and I here were thinking, you might not be a Babylon B subscriber, and we need to correct that.
Yeah, in fact, I could smell it in the room.
It smells like a non-subscriber in here.
Or is that cow farts?
Could be cow farts.
I can't tell.
Hey, if you subscribe, you get this giant, awesome, beautiful coffee table book full of beautiful images.
What?
And hilarious stories.
Premium subscribers get this for a limited time, which is crazy because this book is like half the cost of that.
It's like a brick of gold.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
So you get a coupon code for cheaper merchandise.
You get to be part of the community.
The advantages are endless to be subscribed.
Literally infinite.
Oh, you get our bloopers from our.
Oh, yeah.
Those are really funny.
Those are hilarious.
The gas.
So please.
Yeah.
Go to BabylonBee.com/slash plans.
Subscribe.
Become one of the elite.
The few.
The Babylon Bees.
Hey, you know what two things go together?
Gen Z and weird stuff.
It's like we're going to read words that we don't understand.
So why don't we eat food and we don't even know what it is?
We're going to read about weird Gen Z slang.
We're going to try to guess what the words mean while we eat food, and we're going to guess what the food is.
So let's bring Brandon in here.
So we asked Brandon.
We asked Brandon, our resident video guy.
Oh, I thought you were going to say an Asian guy.
I was just trying to be careful.
Can you guys hear him?
Okay.
You hear him in there?
I mean, it is.
I mean, it is true.
I mean, I actually had this for the first time a few weeks ago, and I was pleasantly delighted.
And I thought, man, I just got to bring this in and share it with the guys at the bee.
Okay.
So we're going to eat this trend.
Is this trendy or are you making that up?
This is actually true.
Well, half of it was true.
Kellen has said he will not eat it because he doesn't.
He doesn't like to eat things he doesn't know what it is.
So this is the main attraction, right?
And you're not going to tell us what it is.
This beautiful, rounded.
I have an idea of what I think it is.
You might be wrong.
Okay.
And this was just, I just saw this on the menu, so I just threw this in.
Okay.
Twizzle.
So.
That looks like pizzle, like the stuff that is it pizzle or twizzle that you feed dogs?
Beef twizzle.
Beef pizzle.
If it's dogs, they feed them either.
You look at the ingredients, like again, the chewy thing, and it's all twirly, and then it says on there, ingredients, beef twizzle.
Now, you said you were pleasantly delighted.
I was.
Actually, I mean, I wasn't surprised because actually I ordered it and I expected it to be good, and I liked it.
Okay.
Oh, it has two sticks in one.
Okay.
Okay.
Do we ever.
Why do we always write segments where we chew?
I'm going to be honest.
I just think it's testicles.
Yeah, that's what I think too.
I assume that's what you would guess, but you were wrong.
Okay.
It's ovaries?
Also wrong.
What does it look like to you, Kellen, from a distance?
Hold on.
Why would you.
It's a tongue.
You ate it and you're like, ah, yeah, this tastes like testicles.
That's really what you're doing.
Well, that's the first time the knowledge list.
Because this is procured in the past.
Did they add this layer of stuff here?
Is that part of the body part?
I believe they added a little bit of fat to increase the flavor.
I don't believe that is.
Well.
It looks like: is it some type of heart?
Is it a heart of some type?
It is not.
Would you like a riddle?
A riddle.
In the morning, you have four.
In the evening, you have two.
To those who voluntarily have one, they're oftentimes better than you.
Testicles?
Ovaries.
Let's read some nutrition facts.
I'm really bad at.
Okay.
So I guess we're not doing slang when we do this.
There's no way.
There's no way.
I can't do it.
Very high.
It's high in iron, high in phosphorus.
All right.
Has a load of vitamins, super high in vitamin B12, in case you were wondering.
I thought you were.
Okay.
And selenium.
I didn't even know that was a thing.
But it's high in that.
Is it a ball of vitamins?
In a sense, it is.
This is much less obscure.
By the way, you have had this.
It's like on this.
It's an Achilles heel.
Is it stretched testicles?
Stretchicles.
It's a little chewy.
It's a little chewy.
Yeah, it's chewy.
It's got some flavor to it.
A little flavor.
So this one is not that bizarre.
Okay.
What is it?
This is just chicken skin.
Okay.
Chicken skin.
This is just chicken skin.
This is the best part.
Sure.
I mean, you eat a piece of fried chicken.
You're just going to go for the skin.
This is going to be my wife.
I love the skin, and she's like, don't touch it.
Throw it all in the trash.
I get that rotisserie chicken from Costco just for the skin.
Oh, just the skin.
And it's $5, so you could just get 10 of them and just peel the skin off.
Oh, yeah.
I got to make cellar separately.
Yeah.
You resell the meat back to customer.
Yeah.
You want a skinless rotisserie chicken?
The gene one that grows the skin back sitting there.
Okay, on this one.
The wolverine.
Do you have any final guesses?
Final guesses.
I gave up.
Oh, wait.
Is there another body part that's round like that?
So not a heart.
Four of them in the morning.
I was being a little loose in the ring.
Four in the morning bowel movement.
But you have two in the evening.
Kids?
Oh, no.
Are we doing fetuses?
Keep going.
No, no.
You got kind of.
Misbehave.
What's up?
I got close.
Oh, so it's baby something?
Kind of.
Kind of a baby.
How do you have more babies in the morning?
Is it not an animal?
It is of an animal.
From a human.
It is from a animal.
Okay.
What is shaped like that?
I've played Operation.
Is it a kidney body?
It's a money bone.
No.
I think you said it.
Tonsils.
It's a kidney.
There you go.
It's a kidney.
It looks like a kidney.
Of what?
It's a lamb kidney.
Lamb kidney.
Okay.
Okay.
Four in the morning, two in the evening.
So what is that?
That's a dumb joke.
It's like.
Yeah, wait, how does that road?
So you know, like, the riddle where it's like, what walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the evening, and then three legs.
So it's, yeah, when you're a kid, you have two kidneys and then you have two kidneys.
Yeah.
Two kidneys.
There you go.
Wow.
Wow.
That might be a little abstract.
Yeah.
The hobbit would be dead.
I'll work on that.
I'll work.
If the Gollum said that one Frodo, it would end short, The Lord of the Ring.
Never work on that.
And also work on these because I don't think anyone's going to be enjoying these but me.
They're good.
Not bad.
Interesting.
I did not enjoy it.
But thank you.
Lamb killed.
All right.
Thanks, Brandon.
Culturally enriching experience.
Did those come from alcoholic lambs?
No.
Is that the liver?
Lamb uncles?
But that would fill through both for marinade.
So, what culture eats lamb kidneys?
A lot of cultures do.
I believe these are Taiwanese.
Okay.
And cannibal lambs.
The cannibal lamb community loves their own kidneys.
I'll go bring these to the rest of the guys and I'll start champing at the beginning.
Hand them around.
Hand them around.
Champion at the bit for these.
We need to do this segment like when the mailman shows up at Mr. Rogers.
You need to have that door and be like, knock, knock, knock, knock.
Who's that?
Oh, it must be a delivery.
It's Mr. Weird Foodie.
Mr. Weird Foodie.
Hey, you guys should check out his podcast, The Book Pile, where they talk about a book every week.
And we don't eat anything.
There's no chewing.
While we're talking about it.
100% less chewing in the.
They'll edit out on the chewing and post.
In the book episode.
The book pile.
They just did Fellowship of the Ring.
Oh, yeah.
They did this thing on there, and I think he's not doing it now, but they're like, if you write us a review, we'll buy you the actual hardcover of this book and sign it for you and send it to you.
Yeah.
We're doing that until July 5th.
They're doing it still.
We're doing it again.
If you write a review of your podcast, buying reviews.
We should try this.
You want to try it?
No, because that's a lot of money, though.
Yeah.
It'd be a lot of fun.
I don't want to spend that much money.
Yeah.
It'd be the company, yeah.
But it's a good podcast.
We make it funny, we do fiction books, we do non-fiction, we've done everything from non-fiction.
We've done like bossy pants to there's an episode where we roast how to win friends and influence people, which is one of my favorite episodes just because like there's some good principles in there, but ultimately, every example that every success story ends with, and then I signed a contract for three million dollars.
Like, it's it doesn't have anything to do with creating friendships, it's more just like getting money, how to politely make other people do what you want.
That's that's what it really is.
And then, fiction, yeah, we're covering the Harry Potter books, we've done World War Z to Pride and Prejudice, and yeah, we're going through the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
It's awesome!
Check it out!
It is good.
I've listened to a few episodes and I enjoyed it.
Good and now it's time for this week's Heroes of the Faith Catchy.
I had a dream as a girl, like Therese.
I need to give this a whirl so I can lead the way.
Woman priest is my call, women preaching for all.
Don't listen to St. Paul, cause I can lead the way.
My ministry's growing, excommunication keeps blowing, empty chests lowing.
Where you think the church is going?
Hey, I was baptized.
This is crazy.
I can't hear you.
It's too loud.
It's really loud.
It's really loud.
So our data just doesn't look right.
With only male praise for God.
They practice this.
God just called me sordid lady.
Hey, I was baptized.
And this is crazy.
That's God just called me.
So Daniel Paul.
I can't shake anymore.
Try to schmooze me that I'm a Catholic.
All right.
I hate that this song is going to be stuck in my head.
Forever.
Okay, so before you watched it, how on board were you with ordaining a lady?
And now I was 100% on board, and now it's zero.
It's over.
I was ready.
I was ready to make the commitment.
What about St. Paul?
Are you on to?
Now I love St. Paul.
I hated him before, and now if they're against St. Paul, I'm for St. Paul.
So, okay.
So, yeah.
I mean, if you ever want to make an argument for your position, just do a pop song.
Find a Carly Ray Jebson song.
I don't know the original song that's based on.
It's based on something.
Call me maybe.
Call me Maybe.
Just matching me.
Patrick's episode.
Well, that was beautiful.
And you guys can look that up if you really want to.
If you really want me, I can hear the whole song.
We'll link it.
Was that Sister Act 3?
I just.
Yeah.
So.
Well, I'm just thinking, like, no, what to say about it?
I have nothing.
This is like growing up in the church is making cheesy parodies of things.
Right.
I didn't know Catholics did it.
I thought that.
Oh, yeah.
I thought Catholics were more like kind of like Mormons.
Mormons are really smart.
Like, you don't find a lot of cheesy Mormon.
I think there's a lot.
There probably is, but like they, you know, like they're smart.
They go out and just be like a comedian rather than being the Mormon comedian.
Is there the Mormon comedian?
You know that?
Is that guy out there?
There's a lot of them in Utah.
Okay.
I've been to shows there.
Yeah.
Where they'll get up and for like 10 minutes, they'll just talk about how, you know, when church is over and you can't get out of the pew because other people are talking in front of you.
It's just very, very Seinfeld of Mormonism.
They generally don't make it to like LA or New York.
Where they're in the hour of tight LDS material.
What's the deal with seminary?
I don't know.
All right.
Well, we got another one here.
We got a mishap.
Okay, we're watching the cross.
Eyes on the cross.
See that big arrow that points to the cross saying you should look at it?
Yeah, in case you don't know what arrows mean.
Oh, and then it does the right hook.
Does he keep going?
I love the guy in the middle.
The other guy waving.
He's like, hey, you guys.
Get out of the spirit.
The cross just attacked the drummer.
In case you guys didn't know, this is the hand signal for drummer has been crushed.
Fell over on the drummer.
Is that a sign that modern worship is not approved of by the Lord?
I hope he took it really personally.
Like, maybe he has a secret gambling problem, and he's like, oh, this is why.
If you want me to stop, Lord, just tell me.
Give me the sign.
A little heavy-handed with the metaphor there, Jesus.
I played baseball and I was never good at it.
Like, I always prayed that the ball would never come to me.
And when I was playing, I was in center field when I was 12, and this ball came.
It was a home run, but the home run fence was like as high as my belly button.
It wasn't very tall.
And I was standing there ready for it.
And it looked like it was going to go over.
So I just instinctively, I didn't catch it because I was like, this guy's going to get a home run.
It's almost like I felt bad for him.
So it barely went over the fence.
And my whole team was like, why didn't you catch that?
And they weren't there.
So I was like, it was farther than it looked.
But on the inside, I was like, oh, man, I could have been a hero.
So I prayed that it would happen again.
That this thing would happen again.
And the next game, it happened again, and I didn't catch it again.
I was just like, look, okay, I guess.
Prayer works, but.
No, you can pray anytime you want.
I know why I do that time.
Now that you know it works.
I love that you did.
You're so empathetic.
You didn't want to ruin his life.
He was about to hit this home run.
Like, I had never gotten one before.
And, like, maybe it was this kid's first time.
And I didn't, yeah.
That's my brother.
My brother would, he had this thing where when he'd catch things, he'd suddenly like really tense up the moment it went to his hand.
He'd like, like, kind of like that.
So then he worked like way out in the outfield in baseball and this thing was coming at him and the ball, you know, and all of a sudden his hand's out to get it.
And right at the last second, he goes like that.
And it just goes right off his face.
I mean, it's so much worse.
Fantastic.
All right, we got one more hero of the faith.
And you've heard Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart.
I don't know if you guys have that song, but it's a classic.
You guys over there?
You people.
You people over there?
I don't know what goes on in those Mormon, those LDS churches around.
So it's a rendition.
But I don't know if you've heard with this sax solo like this.
Yeah.
Very thoughtful.
We're in the mood.
We're ready to worship.
Feeling it.
Our hearts are prepared.
It feels like something's coming.
It's swelling.
we go it sounds like like the drunk Tom Waits of saxophone solos That's all I can think of as like a drunk guy doing interpretive dance on the stage during this song.
It just gets worse and worse.
I expect the keyboard player.
No reaction.
He's right there with it.
Nope, no, they're jerking his head.
Nope, he's looking at you.
He's looking at the camera.
Doesn't the guy next to the sax, he gives some kind of he's looking over like, oh, he's gonna play the whole thing.
Because saxophones, you don't tune.
So is he just playing the wrong notes?
Yeah.
Is he in the wrong key?
Yeah.
See, if I were the keyboardist, I would have just liked my baseball.
Switch story.
No, I would have just started playing like, this is all planned from both of us.
We're both terrible.
It's crazy, though, that he was like, technically, he was like on pitch.
It was just a different pitch.
Like, he was holding the notes well.
You can tell that he had practiced.
It's bizarre to me that he, like, what led to this moment?
Didn't they have a rehearsal?
I don't know how they got to that.
Or they didn't correct it anyway until you got all the way to the very end of it.
Nobody wanted to tell him.
I don't know.
I like to imagine it was a quantum leap moment.
Like somebody you wake up in a different body and they're like, your saxophone solo starts in two minutes.
What?
This is like a bad dream.
After you have the dream about naked sky enemy, you then transition into this dream.
Saxist.
Well, we'd like to salute the heroes of the faith today.
A salute.
A salute to the heroes.
The cross should have fallen on that guy.
That would have been perfect.
Well, it would be nice if a bunch of crosses fell on those girls.
A cross falling can solve a lot of problems.
Actually.
Hey, we're about to talk to Shannon Bream.
Oh, yeah, from Fox News.
That one?
That one.
She wrote a book about women in the Bible.
Oh, there's women in the Bible?
Yeah, not the ones who sing Ordain a Lady.
Oh, different ones.
But ones who like drive tent pegs through people's heads and do other stuff.
Not just the ones who eat the wrong thing.
Exactly.
Did you just look at the rest of the day?
That was at the very beginning.
That was at the beginning of the Bible.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, Eve.
I was trying to think of a woman who ate like a kidney or something.
I was feeling a really obscure.
It's probably in the middle.
I'm still thinking kidneys.
Yeah.
I'm just confused because I've read the Bible before.
That's in the Book of Mormon where they eat the forbidden kidney.
I was going through all the food laws, you know, and Leviticus and stuff and all these like.
Your mind was going, eat food, woman.
Yeah, somewhere.
Yeah, there's some like death penalty if you eat a kidney at three o'clock on seven on a Sunday.
Anyway, here's Shannon Breen.
Here she is.
Well, hi, Shannon.
Thanks for joining us today.
Thank you for having me.
You're welcome for having you.
It's so intimidating interviewing somebody who's like a world-class interviewer.
She's interviewed the president.
Yeah.
So, you know, things happen.
Which president?
The true president or true president?
No, I don't know.
Have you ever interviewed Biden?
You know what?
I have interviewed the current first lady.
I have not interviewed President Biden.
I have interviewed Jill, Dr. Jill Biden, and the former president and a couple of them, President Trump and others.
So yeah.
Cool.
All right.
All right.
Yeah.
So no big deal.
No big deal.
So, you have a book out, The Women of the Bible Speak.
So, you dug through the Bible and found all the women.
You looked up all the different genders there are, and you just want this one narrow one and made a whole book.
Yeah, the women you picked the one gender.
Here's the thing: I thought I knew all these stories about women in the Bible, and I did because I grew up, you know, in a home where we were in church and Christian school and the whole thing.
Um, I'm one of those.
And when we really started going through and trying to whittle down which women were going to have in, I was like, dang, we're leaving out a lot of good people.
And I learned so much about every one of these stories.
So, as much as I thought, listen, I won the Bible Drill Award in Sunday school like 18 years in a row.
I still had a lot to learn.
Yeah, so what did you learn?
Did you guys ever do the Bible drill, by the way?
You know, where you'd have to get to the verse first, they'd be like, 1 John 3, verse 1.
Really?
And you'd hold it over your head.
And you're not supposed to cheat, but your fingers could feel a little bit about this is Old Testament, this is New Testament.
Yeah, I did that.
I, gosh, each one of their stories, I learned more depth about them.
I learned a lot more about Deborah.
Always been a fan of hers as a female judge and a leader of the nation of Israel at a really bad time.
So I learned a lot more detail about her story.
And really, every woman that I dug into, I learned something, even if it wasn't strictly from the scriptures, I learned more about the context of the time that she was living in.
Just things that were more, just gave more depth to the story.
And I felt like I got to know all of them better.
So she was like the RBG of the Bible.
Exactly.
And she went into battle.
So if RBG also went into, you know, Operation Desert Storm or whatever, that was basically Deborah.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Now, do you have Jael in here, the lady who hammered the tent peg?
That's my favorite story in the whole Bible.
Well, I always tell people that with this book, I'm like, we've got a queen.
Of course, Queen Esther, a lot of people know that story, but we've got a murderer.
We've got a prostitute.
Like we got a good cross-section of ladies, which is further proof that God can use anyone.
But yes, we had to include Yale because, you know, she's the one who fulfills Deborah's prophecy about this bad guy getting delivered into the hands of a woman.
And so, yeah, she brings him in, gives him the milk or the yogurt, whatever you think it is, but something that was like a very soothing drink.
He goes to sleep.
She puts the covers on him and he never wakes up because, yeah, it was a tent peg to the temple.
She got the job done.
So what was the life lesson that you got out of that one?
That things don't always make sense.
Unfortunately, the Bible with Yale doesn't tell us a lot of backstory.
We don't know.
All we know is, listen, she fulfilled a prophecy.
So she clearly had this moment that God had planned for her to take out this bad guy, the general that was opposing the nation, opposing Israel.
But then we don't always get all the answers because that's one of the things I get the questions most about for people who've read the book is like, why did she do that?
What do we know?
We just aren't told a lot in the Bible.
So I think she's very illustrative for a number of reasons, but we, that's one of my questions for God when I get to heaven.
Yeah, that's one of the things that I think is cool about the Bible is that there's these stories that feel random.
And it's something that it's something that someone wouldn't make up just to be like, we're going to make this inspirational fable or whatever.
They're just like, yeah, this is what happened.
So we're going to write it down.
This lady just drove that tent peg right through.
She killed the dude.
Yeah.
But you know, that was one of the things I learned is that back then, women in that society were actually the ones who were responsible for setting up the tents when they would move.
I mean, they were literally homemakers.
So she would have been very probably physically strong and she would have known how to drive a tent peg.
So those are the kind of nuggets.
Some of them I'm not going to use in my life in 2021.
But many other nuggets I picked up in the book are actually useful for today.
So were there any women in the Bible you're thinking you should tell to not speak?
Like Job's wife, shut up.
There are a couple that, like all of us, from time to time, our mouths get us into trouble.
Yeah, so we focused on those who had things to say through their lives or through their words.
And listen, some of them didn't verbally say a whole lot, but we see lessons speaking through their lives.
But yeah, there are some women we didn't include for obvious reasons, and some who, you know, maybe will make an appearance if there's a next time around because there really are so many good ones.
It's not like we sat down and said, All right, we have to make sure that people know God really loves women and values them, but there were only these 18.
I mean, it goes well beyond that.
So we actually had a lot of good ones to choose from.
Yeah, one of the interesting things, the way we read the Bible is we try to project like our current modern, you know, ideas of gender and roles on the text.
And that's true of everything, but especially of gender, we tend to read it in that light.
And so you look at stories like how the women are the ones who went to the tomb, they're the ones who believe Jesus.
And, you know, just the people that are honestly writing this down in the gospels are like, yeah, none of the disciples believed Jesus and they were all scared.
But the women were like, yeah, you know, Jesus is back.
And that's a pretty cool role for women in the Bible that they were the ones to go and witness his resurrection.
Yeah.
And you think about that.
I mean, Mary Magdalene was sort of viewed as the first evangelizer, like that she went out to tell people, like, hey, he actually did rise from the dead.
She'd been so devastated.
Like you said, the women went there to try to care for his body, thinking that they would have the opportunity to do that.
There were some people who were hiding out, who were afraid.
They thought, I'm going to be next.
People know I'm one of his followers.
I don't want to be out there walking around.
But the women were so in their devotion going to see them.
God knew who he was going to reveal himself to.
And so the fact that it was Mary and that she runs off to get to tell everybody, pretty amazing, especially because in those days, women were not preferred witnesses, like in a legal proceeding or anything like that.
I mean, they just were kind of viewed by much of society as sort of second-class citizens.
But Jesus and his interactions we see never ever treated them that way.
He was a little bit revolutionary, as you guys know, in a lot of ways.
And that was one of them, his relationships with women.
Yeah, some Chesterton talks about how the way that Jesus treats women and children as well.
He wasn't a man of his time when he talked about how amazing and special children are.
That wasn't really kind of the opinion of the time.
That came later.
We take that for granted now.
And same with women.
I just found that kind of fascinating.
That, and even slavery, like he didn't really talk much about it because if he has that eternal view of things, I don't think he ever said anything about it.
In his eternal view, he knew those things were going to be, you know, they're a blip in history.
They're not going to be a thing.
And think about how in the New Testament, the teaching where we're told that there is no difference between slave and master and Jew and Greek and those kinds of things.
That I think God's message was that we're all created in his image.
I mean, he clearly sees value in every single human life and definitely not a respecter of persons.
He called people out who were respecters of persons, who wanted to associate with the wealthy or the royalty when there were people of every class who needed redemption and who needed his love.
I think about Sarah and Hagar is one of the first stories we have in the book where Hagar was owned.
I mean, she was not a free woman.
She wasn't just lady in waiting to Sarah.
I mean, she was literally a slave, but she's the first person that has this interaction with God out in the desert where he comes to her and comforts her when she feels like her whole life is over.
And she actually gives him the name, the God who sees me.
And I think about how many times she would have been passed over as somebody comes in to see the family or to dine with them or to be part of some event.
And she's just there in the background.
Like she's not somebody that would get a lot of attention.
She probably would be invisible.
So I love that she has this tragic time and it ends up with God coming to her, a slave woman, and her giving him that name.
Like, you actually see me.
Like, what an amazing thing for somebody whose whole life has probably been one where she's just been completely disregarded as a human being.
Can you explain to me, like I'm five, the story of Mary and Martha?
Because sometimes I read it and I'm like, Mary was just lazy and Martha was doing all the work.
And then we're supposed to like admire Mary.
But I Mary's the one with washing the feet.
No, Martha.
Wait, Martha's the one doing all the housework.
Okay.
Right.
Am I right?
Yeah.
And Mary is sitting at Jesus' feet learning.
Right.
I'm mixing stories up.
Yeah.
But again, you know, the situation, and there are other interactions too, but in that big one that, you know, is taught in every women's Christian conference that there is, are you the Mary or the Martha here's the quiz?
I mean, you know, that's out there.
The thing about that was, again, Mary is sitting with the men, learning at Jesus' feet.
He was the very esteemed rabbi, whether you believed he was the son of God or not.
At that point, he was very respected and many people did believe, but others just thought he was this brilliant teacher.
And it was not normal that women would be sitting and learning with this esteemed rabbi.
So Martha is, and I can't, I always, when I hear her name, I hear Martha, Martha, Martha, because she's sort of the one that's like, I'm doing everything.
They're not helping with the hors d'oeuvres or anything.
That's kind of the attitude we have from her.
And the fact that she complains to Jesus, who has nothing else to worry about, like redeeming all of mankind.
It's so, you know, and she's like, why don't you tell her to help me?
And he's like, I'm not going to tell her to stop from spending time with me and learning from me.
She's chosen the better thing.
He wasn't saying what you're doing and serving people is a bad thing.
But sometimes I think we do have to choose between busyness and service in church that looks good or something that is a laudable good thing versus actually spending time with God.
So I guess I would say to a five-year-old, you know, is it more important for you to sit here and pray?
And maybe we have a Bible story and you talk to Jesus and tell him how you're doing and you ask him to help you through your day.
We pray for people that we care about versus mommy really wants you to clean up your room and put away your toys.
That's a good thing too.
But maybe our prayer time with Jesus is the better choice.
Especially when you clean your room.
Yeah.
Bible stories and prayer time.
Exactly.
See, sometimes you have to trick the kids into it, but then we grow into it.
Perfect.
So I know we're sticking mainly to your book questions, but I have you right here and you're a master interviewer.
And we have fallen into interviewing people.
And I just wanted to know, like, do you have any advice?
How do you conduct a good interview?
You know, sometimes if it's a longer form thing, like a podcast where I will normally do like 20 minutes or so with people, I like to, especially if it's a member of Congress, I will talk to their staff and find out things that they don't think I'm going to ask them about.
Like, do they ride Harleys?
Do they craft on the weekends?
What do they do?
And you can find out some really, I wouldn't say embarrassing, but personal things about people.
And when they think you're just going to talk to them about, you know, Senate Bill 1, they're not expecting you to say like, oh, I heard that you played in a garage band when you were in college and you guys actually have a CD and we have it here right now.
So I like to get kind of personal scoop on people that they're not expecting.
I'm a little bit more serious on TV.
You got like three or four minutes with somebody and it's usually very content driven, policy driven.
But yeah, if you can get some secret scoop on people from their assistants or their staff, you can get some good surprising conversations.
Can we talk to your assistant real quick?
Yeah, real quick.
She's not here right now, sadly.
My dog has all the secrets.
She's the one who's around all the time.
By the way, you guys are in California.
You're probably so sick of people on the East Coast talking about cicadas.
I am so happy that I think I finally outlasted them.
But every dog here, including mine, is like binging on buffets of cicadas all day.
They will not stop eating them.
And then it makes them sick.
And you go to the vet for $500 and get their stomach pumped.
So the long national nightmare of cicadas is over, at least for the next 17 years.
Wow.
That's maybe I should move to the West Coast.
You guys didn't have to deal with that.
Didn't do they come here, they have them like out in Palm Springs.
Yeah, I didn't know.
I didn't know they did this whole weird like hibernation.
I know it was yeah, so crazy since 17 years, like clockwork, yes.
So I listen i'm, I i'm already plotting out and said to my husband, wherever we live in the next 17 years, it cannot be in this geographic span of the United States.
I will not do this again.
They look big, they're big right, they're big, and they say they're not going to hurt you, but still it's super gross.
When they land in your hair or get on you, which I my, I try to run every morning and when I would do that, their carcass is everywhere.
They don't live very long, so you're like crunching along on your run and then they land on you and they sort of stick and you're pulling them out.
They're not going to hurt you, but they are like the size of a battleship, maneuvering around with these big orange red, beady eyes.
Um, you don't want them in your hair.
It's like a biblical plague.
I know well, between that and the pandemic, I feel like we're getting there.
We've had some pretty heavy rains today too, so again, Noah's Ark right here behind Me on the wall might come back into play.
Yeah, the wrath of God is poured out, the?
I hope not.
He promised us that's.
We're not getting that again.
Well, he didn't say anything about cicadas, though.
He just no, he didn't.
I think the cicadas keep us humble.
That's part of his purpose in them, that's true, all right.
Well, your book is out now.
The Women Of The Bible Speak.
So everybody check that out.
It's on Amazon and you know everywhere that you can buy books.
All the book places.
All the book places.
Yep, you got it.
Thank you guys for having me and um, you know, when we come out with a book Woman Of The Bible who didn't speak um, you'll be the first to know.
Well, we're hoping you do Trans Women Of The Bible, because throwing that out there, I don't think that book is coming.
No sad, all right.
Well, thank you for joining us, Shannon Bream.
See you guys.
Well, that was a great conversation with Shannon Bream.
You know what Ethan, it sure was.
What'd you think Kellen, did you enjoy that?
I agree with you too.
Perfect, especially that one thing.
Yeah well yeah, everybody agrees with that one.
Very interesting and profound.
Now and anytime, we need Kellen to agree with us on something.
We have the clip.
We have the clip.
You know what else tastes like kidneys?
T-shirts from the Babylon BABY.
We got new kidney flavored t-shirts.
The kidney flavored one scratch and sniff.
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Babylon BEE logo logos.
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It's a great strategy.
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No that's, that's wrong Shop.babylonb.com.
You go there, you can get some shirts and if you're a subscriber, you have a discount code.
kellen's going right now if you're a subscriber you get to choose the size otherwise it's random i really miss adam ford so we wrote an article that was probably our best article ever yeah real multi-level Comedy.
Our best joke is as a victory.
We did ask.
We have a professional standpoint.
Oh, yeah.
Can you rate this?
Victoria's Secret to Replace Angels with Fattest Woman of All Time.
Your mom.
He laughed.
You told me it was funny earlier.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
10 out of 10 is what Kellen said.
Yeah, 10 out of 10 joke.
Now cut to him saying, I agree with that.
And somebody didn't like it.
And so we got an email from Tricia about this article.
Tricia.
And she says, you should stick to the garbage going on in the world and leave mother out of the sector.
Mother.
Leave mother out of the sector.
The idea that statistically at least a couple people have never heard a your mom joke.
It's probably just the most vicious joke that came out of left field.
Like, they don't even know my mom.
Why would they?
Have you ever met somebody that calls their mom mother?
Like, not my mother, but they talk about her?
Oh, yeah, no.
I'm going to mother's house this time.
Yeah, me and mother were having tea today.
There's something wrong there.
There's something weird going on there.
There's a screw loose.
Don't do that.
I get it.
She doesn't do that.
This woman is sister bear.
What?
Instead of mother bear.
I'm keeping up with this guy.
I like this.
You're like the interpreter for my jokes.
Although, isn't it mama bear?
Is it?
It's mama bear.
Sissy bear?
Okay.
Not mother bear.
You're true.
You're right.
I'm true.
You are true.
You are true.
I don't know what you guys say.
I'm trying to fit in with your Gen Z Christian slang.
Hey, I'm Gen X, bro.
Yeet.
And I do like that Tricia thought we were talking about her mom's picture.
Her specific mom?
Mother.
Leave Mother out of this.
Leave mother.
Mother's back there in her recliner looking offended.
Leave mother.
It sounds like she's being raised by a British nanny.
And I love this.
You should stick to the garbage going on in the world.
Specifically, it has to be the garbage.
Make fun of the bad stuff going on.
Leave Mother out of this.
I like that.
I wonder if her mom read this article and was like, wait a minute.
That means it's about me.
Yeah, wouldn't she think it's about her mom?
Yeah, I don't know.
And she thought it was about her, and she's like, don't worry, mother.
I'm going to write an angry email.
I hope that.
She says, you should stick to the garbage going on in the world.
I hope you guys responded to it with like, all right, your dad's fat too.
Oh, here's some garbage.
Parents, both of them.
Not you specifically.
That's the genius.
Okay.
Well, this was an episode of a show that occurs every week.
Kellen will never be back.
You guys should watch Kellen's stand-up comedy.
You should also check out his podcast.
Yeah, his podcast.
Stand-up comedy and other stuff.
And if you subscribe to the Babylon B, you get to hear more crazy stories from Kellen.
Exactly.
We're going to go in the subscriber portion.
We're asking the second 10 questions.
I forgot to tell them we're going to do that.
And we've got the bonus hate mail.
Did I fix those yet?
Because I need to fix those.
Patrick tried to.
We're going to find out how they got fixed.
We'll see.
All right.
Well, we're going to rate Patrick's questions.
Here we go.
Coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
This is what a real rich guy is.
I'm not going to say how many people have worn this one.
Just everybody who's been on the show is I do.
You get to erase any three people from history, living or dead, who are they?
This is parentheses, Kyle.
It's giving you suggestions.
Do you accept do this as your Lord and Savior or maybe recommit yourself to him?
Yeah, I did this before.
This is the same as.
I get it.
You guys are really asking like, so are you still Marman after this?
Wondering what they'll say next?
The rest of this podcast is in our super exclusive premium subscriber lounge.
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Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.